As If (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Badana - full transcript

Ilkkan and Yilmaz paints the walls of their houses. They will regret it.

Let me ask you something,
why did you paint the wall like this?

Didn't we tell you?

-No.
-Don't you know?

It was wonderful...

27 MONTHS AGO

-How much money did the painter say?
-20 lira.

20 liras?

-20 liras?
-Yes.

20 lira?

Yes, so cheap. We'd have paid
a lot if Ersoy arranged it.

Wait a minute. Aren't you worried?
What 20 liras?



We buy two cups of tea for 20 lira.
Who is this decorator?

Why not? Why should I worry?

It's impossible. Even looking out
the window costs 20 lira.

Yes, but what do you say?
He will paint the hall for 20 lira.

Maybe he reduced the price.
Maybe its regular price is 30 lira.

What kind of reduction?
Are you crazy?

-20 lira to decorate a wall?
-Maybe he gains from demand.

What demand?
Is there a demand for painters?

If he paints 10 halls for 20 lira,
he will make 200 lira.

Have you heard of anyone painting
10 halls a day?

I looked, and I found him.
His ratings are very good.

The comments are also great.
I've found the perfect painter.

Let me tell you something,
is that his rates?

-Yes, a hall is 20 lira.
-A hall is 20 lira.



Let's do the whole house
for 75 lira.

Whoa! The whole house for 75 lira?

Is it too much, or too little?
I can't understand it any more.

It's so cheap. Don't mention it,
they'd laugh at you.

The hall costs 20 lira, but why
is the whole house not 75 lira?

The hall is so easy.
He would paint it in half an hour.

But the whole house...

-It's a whole 'nother thing.
-I regret it, İlkkan.

I regret I entrusted you
with this job.

You've put it in a completely
different place in your head.

We can't solve this issue.

We aren't on the same page here.

Don't get me wrong, but I wish I'd
have given this job to Ersoy.

I'm going to pretend
I didn't hear that.

-I'm sceptical.
-Okay, ask him. Here he is.

Ünal!

Hello, guys.

-Hello.
-I'm sorry.

No problem. Welcome.
Do you want a drink?

Warm water,
if there is any.

-I suppose there is.
-I hope.

I've come from my wife's funeral.
She passed away yesterday.

-I'm sorry for your loss.
-We just bid farewell to her.

-May God forgive her sins.
-Amen.

-How are you?
-I mean, we're fine.

We're fine. We don't have
a problem.

-We're not great but...
-Luckily, we're great.

It's absurd for a person
who lost his wife yesterday...

...to want a job.

No.

But there is no reason for me
not to do the job.

Funeral prayers and burial
take two hours.

It also takes an hour to
accept condolences.

-Yes.
-After that...

I'm free.

What should I do?
Shouldn't I work?

This is life.

-No...
-We didn't say anything.

And painting
is a therapy in itself.

If you want, let's get to know
each other a little first.

Okay, we can do this. You?

My name is Ünal.

It's awkward, right?

Our families seem to have
already named our destiny.

We live whatever is thought for us.

For example, my brother...

His name is Ahmet.

Our father has already decided
everything for us.

Anyway!

I don't quite understand.

-My father, named my brother Ahmet.
-Yes.

-He named me Ünal.
-Alright.

That's the case. It's awkward, right?

Okay, I get it.

-Let's talk about the job if you want.
-Ahmet!

I mean, it's just Ahmet.

There is no command...

No guidance.

But my name is Ünal.
It means, get your reputation.

We've been chasing dreams...

...built on our behalf
by our parents since forever.

I broke that chain
as a painter though.

Unfortunately
my brother Ahmet...

His name is Ahmet.
So no one guided him to...

You've talked about a price with him.

Right? You said 20 lira for the hall.

The hall is easy.
It would take half an hour.

And it's 20 lira.

It's neither too cheap
nor too immorally expensive.

That's great. Well, can you paint
the whole house for 75 lira?

Don't publicise it,
they'd laugh at you.

The whole house for 75 lira?
Are you crazy?

I'm confused.
What kind of calculation is that?

It takes at least a week to paint
a whole house.

I need to come and see the house.

And it's 2000 lira.

Is that the cost just to
come and see?

-He says, "The whole house."
-The whole process?

I need to come and see the house.
I need to see that house.

Just the hall costs
20 lira though, right?

-The hall is 20 liras.
-Okay.

There is no problem with it.

Then let's talk about the day.

I have a situation,
I have to explain this first.

Ünal, since it's indoors,
smoking is not allowed.

-Yes, unfortunately.
-Yes, you're right.

Since we are establishing
a mutual business relationship,

I would like honesty to be its basis.

-Right.
-We would like that too.

Guys, I have an ongoing blood feud.

What?

-I have enemies.
-What?

If a situation arises,
don't say, "You didn't tell us."

What do you mean?
It's like a real blood feud?

-Yes, it's a real blood feud.
-Dear God.

It's an ongoing blood feud.

Someone might attack me,
so be aware of it.

Okay, we'll be careful.

Have you thought about going
to the police, Ünal? They can help.

The police? Not the police.

If I go to the police,
my enemies will laugh at me.

-Let them laugh.
-That won't do!

Let them laugh.
Is this any way to live?

I'd rather die
than have enemies laugh at me.

Especially if I die painting,
it would be like dying on the stage.

Yes, right.

Let's talk about this issue, Ünal.

-Let us talk about it in private.
-We'll talk in front of the door.

You sit down, I'll smoke outside
and come back.

-Sure.
-Thank you. Alright.

Fuck this shit, İlkkan.
Look at the man you brought.

He says, "I have enemies."
How did that happen?

He has enemies, not you.
What's it to you?

Should we let a man who says
he has enemies into our home?

He can come, paint the hall
in half an hour, and leave.

He says,
"I have an ongoing blood feud."

-Yes.
-Do you think I'm crazy?

He might not have told us that.

He would have come,
painted the house and left.

-We wouldn't know anything about it.
-My dear İlkkan.

I understand you. His situation is
much more difficult than mine.

-He lost his wife, he has enemies.
-Yes.

I'm just want to paint my hall,
that's all I want.

But why am I taking such a risk?

Are you crazy? What risk?
He put his head in the lion's mouth.

-Do you mean your own risk?
-Where the fuck did you find him?

I found him online.
You saw the comments about him.

I don't understand you.
Do you think I'm being sceptical?

Okay, but you shouldn't judge people
for things they can't change.

Did he voluntarily get into
a blood feud? This happened to him.

I say, let's not let a man in an
ongoing blood feud into our house.

-Do you understand me?
-I mean...

-You marginalise him...
-I don't think so...

Guys, I understand your situation,
do not bother yourself.

I do not want the person
I will paint his house to be afraid.

I am a person who has adopted
the principle of honesty.

-There's no need to force it.
-Yes.

When fear comes into the business,
our profession becomes less enjoyable.

Sure.

Maybe that's why painting
is a job only for the brave.

-We are okay.
-Are we?

We're okay. Let's do it
tomorrow if you want.

Tomorrow morning? Come on,
take me to a hardware store, guys.

Come on!

-We're coming.
-We'll pay for the drinks.

Come on, I'll wait for you outside.

I thought great things for your hall.
I have something great on my mind.

What kind of things?

When we get home, we'll sit down
and I'll tell you.

But I thought such crazy things that

they were like fireworks in my head.

-I mean...
-I don't think

that much is needed.
We thought plain white.

-Right?
-Don't say like that.

Let's brainstorm first.

Let's evaluate how we feel.

-Don't be so dogmatic.
-But we bought the paint.

I wish we'd brainstormed
before we bought the paint.

Don't worry. I have plain white paint.

I also bought something extra,
I want to show you something.

That's the case.

Let's get some instant soup here,
we can drink it at home, huh?

-I'll get some now.
-Thanks. Thank you.

Don't always tell me to paint white.
You don't know what to do yet.

-You're right.
-I said, "I'll do it.

As the owner of the house,
my wishes are important too.

I'll do as you want.
I'll paint the house.

Of course, you will.
But how you paint is important too.

-That's my job.
-I'm sorry about that.

-I paint, you look.
-Right.

-You paint, I'll watch.
-It's impossible not to like it.

Alright.

It is great that they produced
this instant soup, right?

It used to be advertised
more frequently.

But now they do not advertise much.

But still I think this product is
number one.

Good thing you made me buy these.

-No problem, dear.
-Yes.

-Thank you, İlkkan.
-Enjoy it.

How shall we do, Mr. Ünal?
I think let's paint it white.

-What d'you say?
-There's a journey

from green to blue in my mind.

But hardly visible.

When you look out of the corner
of your eye, it turns blue.

It turns green

-when you turn your head.
-I don't think we need that.

Let's paint it white.
It's clean, bright, spacious.

I mean, the house is yours.

-Yes.
-It's your call.

I just made a suggestion.

I think this house needs to
be colourful, right, Ünal?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

You smile much less than İlkkan.

Don't get me wrong.
There are no strangers here.

But you seem to have a problem.

No.

Actually, I'm fine.
I don't have a problem.

Since we set out
to paint our house

to make it bright and spacious,

I prefer white as it
provides a cleaner image.

Like I said,

the house is yours, the hall is yours,
the wall is yours,

it's your call.

I'm just an intermediary.

What do painters normally do?

-What they do?
-They paint it white, and go.

-Yes.
-They take the money, and leave.

-Isn't that right?
-Right.

I'm absolutely sure of your
respect for your profession,

and your professionalism.
I have no doubts about that.

But unfortunately my life
doesn't need colour right now.

Fine. Let's think like this.

I'll do what I want.

If you don't like it, I'll paint it
white and it's on me.

I don't think we need to.
Let's just paint it white.

-I said, "It's on me."
-Don't bother.

Why don't you listen to Ünal?
He says, "It's on him."

Let him do what he has in mind.

I understand you very well,
İlkkan. Yes.

I'm trying to make sure
Mr. Ünal won't be troubled.

Why are you so stubborn?
Maybe you'll like it very much.

It's my house and I think
it should be painted white.

That's why I made the suggestion,
but whatever you say, okay?

I leave it to you.
Of course you know best.

-Really?
-Yes.

-Let's get started then.
-Come on.

PAINT

Leave your guns in the cloakroom,
so you can work comfortably.

I'll put them there later.

Guys, I'm sorry about this.
I have to take precautions.

No problem, don't mention it.

My enemies have the right
to kill me because of their traditions.

But I need to survive.

If someone shoots me,

-I can't say anything.
-Sure, Mr. Ünal.

You can't talk to your enemies,

but I think they'll understand you.

Exactly, dear. Exactly.

Ünal, would you like to drink
some instant soup?

I never say no to instant soup!

What the fuck did you do to us?
You ruined us.

-Everything's under control.
-What kind of control is this?

You kiss his ass. You always make
instant soup. Why not support me?

-You think this is normal?
-Okay, bro.

-Is this normal?
-He is a bit odd.

He paid for the paint himself.

He paints the hall for 20 lira.

He says he has a blood feud,
and buried his wife this morning.

He has two guns,
he constantly drinks instant soup.

Is this normal?
What the hell did you do to us?

You put a madman
with two guns in our house.

Okay, I'm sorry,
but everything's under control.

I'll handle it, don't worry.

I thought he was going to be a crook,
but he is just crazy.

I'm going to sleep now. If that wall
isn't painted properly, I'll screw you.

I'll take care of it, bro. Don't worry.

2 HOURS LATER

I wish I could take this wall with me.

I'm very satisfied.

It's wonderful.

Good job, Ünal.
The wall is really great.

Thank you, Mr. Ünal.
It's a clean job, but...

Unfortunately,
this wall is not right for us.

-This colour isn't us, right, İlkkan?
-Are you sure? It's perfect.

Is it really perfect?
There are definitely some who like it.

I don't criticise
to your craftsmanship, hard work.

I appreciate it, thank you,
but this wall, this colour is not us.

Is that possible?

I'm sorry, but this colour is not us.

I mean...

-Don't you like it?
-I'm sorry.

Are you sure? I think it's perfect.

-Really?
-Yes. Look at the transition.

-Do you really like it?
-The house is colourful now.

Do you really like it?
The colour is nice, by the way.

-You say the same.
-But it's not us.

This is not us.

Because when we talked about it,
we always said white.

But if Ünal thinks it appropriate,
it can stay like this.

-Do you really think so?
-Really?

I'm sorry, but that won't do.

Thank you, but that won't do.

I mean...

Don't you like it?

-There are those who like it.
-No way.

No.

No way!

-No.
-He's upset, say something positive.

-There are those who like it.
-How do you not like this wall?

-I'm sorry.
-Don't you like this wall?

-No, he likes it.
-How could it be?

You don't like it, right?

Have you ever seen anyone
paint like this before?

How can you not like this?

How can you not like this?

-I wish it wasn't like this.
-How come?

I just can't believe it!

How come?

But we talked about it first,
right, İlkkan?

Ünal!

I think the wall is great.
Don't be upset.

Not everyone understands this wall.

-We can't.
-It's above standard.

-We can't.
-It's another level.

-We can't.
-Not everyone understands it.

Don't get upset.

-I wish it wasn't like this.
-Guess what?

Let's drink instant soup together.

Let's drink instant soup together.

-Right Mr. Ünal?
-How about that?

Let's drink soup,
and pull ourselves together.

Nice and warm.

-Please calm down, Mr. Ünal.
-What are you doing?

-Pull yourself together.
-There's no need for this.

-There's no need for this.
-What the hell's going on?

What's going on, Mr. Ünal?

I am just a widowed painter

who tries to take precautions

just because of the blood feud.

-Mr. Ünal...
-You got me so wrong.

You misjudged me.

Give me my 20 lira!

Give me my 20 lira!

-Give him 20 lira.
-I have 50 lira.

I thought you'd like it.

Do you have 30 lira?

I don't have any money.

İlkkan can change the money.

-Come on!
-Alright.

Let's calm down.

Let's drop the guns.

You...

You wouldn't like it if it were
the best paint in the world.

That's not right, but okay.

I did a special job,
you could not get any painter to do.

But you didn't appreciate it.

You didn't see the effort I made.

You insisted on white.
You got someone like me,

but you didn't like it.

How should I know you
would appear and not like paint?

You didn't like this beauty!

You ignored my hopes and desires.

I was always a problem kid.

I know that.

Everything is overlapping.

The blood feud, my wife, the painting!

This wall was to be an answer
to the darkness growing inside me.

A perfect blue to green answer.

But no! You didn't like it!
You didn't want it!

Everything was pinned on this wall.

This wall was to save my life!

I couldn't do it!

I need to let my hair down,
you understand?

I must get rid of this burden
that is going to suffocate me.

And I will get rid of it. Yes.

I'm not a coward like you.

I will abandon my sins.

What a story.

Can you make me an instant soup?

-Do you want some?
-Please.

-Yılmaz, instant soup?
-Huh?

-Instant soup?
-No, I don't want it.

Fine.