Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 3 - Me! Me! Me! - full transcript

Announcer: ME! ME! ME!

[EVIL LAUGH]

BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR

BECAUSE YOU
JUST MIGHT GET IT.

WHEN WILL IT STOP?
IT'S OUT OF CONTROL.

CAN ARCHIE END
THE DEADLY WISH?

ME! ME! ME!

[EVIL LAUGH]

♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES



♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪

♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪



♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE

♪ VERONICA, BETTY

♪ JUGHEAD, TOO

♪ WEIRD

♪ ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES

UHH!

[WHINES]
ARCHIE! THE DOOR!
HUH?

[GROANS]
SORRY, VERONICA.

UHH!

WHOA!

HUH? WHOA!

UHH!

HONESTLY, YOU'RE
SO CLUMSY, ARCHIE.

SORRY.

VERONICA'S
IN TOP FORM TODAY.

THE QUEEN OF WHINE
COMMANDS HER LOYAL SUBJECT.

[WHINES] ARCHIE, HURRY UP!
I WANT TO GET HOME!

GUYS, SHOW VERONICA
A LITTLE UNDERSTANDING.

THIS IS JUST A STAGE
SHE'S GOING THROUGH.

YOU MEAN THE SPOILED,
SELF-CENTERED,
WHINEY-RICH-GIRL STAGE?

THE ONE THAT STARTED
THE DAY VERONICA
TOOK HER FIRST BREATH?

[ARCHIE PANTING]

THESE SURE ARE
A LOT OF BOOKS YOU'RE
TAKING HOME, VERONICA.

YOU MUST HAVE
A LOT OF HOMEWORK.

NO. I JUST DECIDED
I'D RATHER BRING ALL
MY BOOKS HOME EVERY DAY

THAN MEMORIZE
MY LOCKER COMBINATION.

[GROANS]
VERY...SENSIBLE.

WHEW!

[WHINES] ARCHIE!
THE TOP IS DOWN!

THE WIND
WILL MESS UP MY HAIR!

IF VERONICA
WERE A GENIUS,

SHE'D BE
ALBERT WHINESTEIN.

AND IF SHE
WERE A CREDIT CARD,

SHE'D BE
THE INTERNATIONAL
WHINER'S CLUB CARD.

Betty:
IT COULD BE WORSE.

HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?

YOU COULD BE ARCHIE.

UHH! UHH!

MMM.

[GASPS]

MY SPOON'S DIRTY.

SMITHERS!
I NEED A NEW SPOON!

OH! SMITHERS!

HURRY!
MY YOGURT'S MELTING.

OH! THIS SPOON
IS TOO BIG.

I NEED A SMALL SPOON
FOR MY DAINTY MOUTH.

OF COURSE.
I FORGOT.

HMM.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[WHINES] SMITHERS!
IT'S TOO FAR! GET THE PHONE!

[RING]

SOMEONE NEEDS A MAJOR
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.

JUST KEEP REMEMBERING

MR. LODGE
PAYS FOR 6 WEEKS
OF VACATION EVERY YEAR

BECAUSE THERE
ARE DAYS LIKE THIS.

AND SMILE, SMITHERS.

HELLO?
JUST A MOMENT.

IT'S FOR YOU.

HELLO? ARCHIE!

POP TATE'S
CHOCK'LIT SHOPPE?

ARE YOU DRIVING?

I'D LOVE TO GO!

UHH!

VERONICA WILL MEET
YOU LATER, ARCHIE.

SHE HAS A CHORE TO DO.

OHH, BUT, DADDY!

I WANT TO GO TO
THE MALT SHOP WITH ARCHIE!

I DON'T WANT TO DO CHORES!

YOUNG LADY,
I'VE HAD IT WITH
YOUR CONSTANT WHINING!

YOU ACT LIKE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON
IN THE WORLD!

WHAT IF EVERYONE
ACTED LIKE THAT?

I HAPPEN TO THINK THAT
IF PEOPLE WERE MORE LIKE ME,

THE WORLD
WOULD BE PRETTY NICE.

VERONICA,
YOU'RE A LODGE.

SOMEDAY, ALL THIS
WILL BE YOURS.

RUNNING A FORTUNE LIKE OURS
IS A LOT OF HARD WORK.

YOU DON'T STAY RICH
BY LYING AROUND
AND WHINING ALL DAY.

OHH, BUT
I HATE HARD WORK.

WHAT'S THIS CHORE
ANYWAY?

AH!

OHH!

YOU WANT ME TO PACK
THESE UP FOR THE MUSEUM?

YOU HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE
THE MUSEUM WORKMEN
ARRIVE TO PICK THEM UP.

OHH! I CAN'T
DO ALL THAT ALONE!

OH,
YOU WON'T BE ALONE.

SMITHERS
WILL BE HERE.

WHEW! I THOUGHT
FOR A MOMENT

YOU WERE ACTUALLY
GOING TO MAKE ME
HANDLE ALL THIS STUFF.

WHAT YOU REALLY WANT ME
TO DO IS SUPERVISE SMITHERS.

ACTUALLY, SMITHERS
WILL BE SUPERVISING YOU.

HUH?

OHH!

[WHISTLING]

AAH!
AAH!
AAH!

AAH! I'VE BEEN WAITING
ALL DAY FOR THIS.

[CHOMPING]

HERE. HAVE MINE.
I'VE LOST MY APPETITE.

THANKS, GUY.

YOU'RE IN A MERRY
MOOD TODAY, POP.

WHY SHOULDN'T I BE?

I OWN MY OWN BUSINESS,
I ENJOY MY WORK,

AND I MAKE PEOPLE
HAPPY ALL DAY.

[WHISTLES]

HEY.

ANY WORD ON VERONICA?

SHE'S STILL
PACKING SOME OF
HER DAD'S ARTIFACTS

FOR THAT
MUSEUM EXHIBIT.

I CAN'T WAIT
FOR THAT SHOW TO OPEN.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING THROUGH
THIS EXHIBIT CATALOG FOR WEEKS.

THERE'S SOME
STRANGE STUFF IN HERE.

MAYBE THERE WILL
BE AN "ARCHIE'S WEIRD
MYSTERIES" COLUMN IN IT.

HERE'S
AN UGLY-LOOKING
FELLA. SNIKBOD.

Betty: IT MEANS
"GRANTER OF WISHERS,"
ACCORDING TO LEGEND.

[WHINES]

WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO PUT THIS ONE?

IT'S THE LAST ONE.

PACK IT
IN THAT BOX.

OHH, I DON'T
SEE WHY ANYONE
WOULD TAKE THE TROUBLE

TO GO TO SOME LOUSY MUSEUM
TO SEE ALL THIS JUNK ANYWAY.

I THINK IT'S BORING.

NOT EVERYONE
IS LIKE YOU, VERONICA.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
MAKE AN EFFORT

TO UNDERSTAND HOW
OTHERS THINK AND FEEL.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY NO ONE
IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND
HOW I THINK AND FEEL.

NO ONE KNOWS
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME.

I WISH EVERYONE
WOULD BECOME JUST LIKE ME.

THEN THEY'D KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE.

HUH?

THERE. ALL DONE.
CAN I GO NOW?

UH, YOU DIDN'T
NOTICE THAT--

OH, NEVER MIND.
JUST GO.

SO VERONICA ACTUALLY
MANAGED TO FINISH
ALL THE PACKING

BEFORE SHE LEFT TO MEET
HER FRIENDS? AMAZING.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

AH, THAT MUST
BE THE WORKMEN
FROM THE MUSEUM.

GET THAT, WILL YOU,
PLEASE, SMITHERS?

OHH! DO I HAVE TO?
I DON'T WANT TO!

HUH?

[CHOMPING]

AT FIRST IT SICKENED ME,
BUT NOW I'M FASCINATED.

WHERE DOES HE FIND ROOM
FOR ALL THAT FOOD
IN THAT THIN BODY?

MY THEORY IS
THAT SOMEWHERE
IN THAT STOMACH

IS A BLACK HOLE
FUNNELING ALL THIS FOOD
TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

WHERE IT FEEDS
THOUSANDS.

JUGHEAD HAS
TO HAVE AN INCREDIBLY
STRANGE METABOLISM

TO NEVER GAIN A POUND.

[GULPS]

I'M JUST A GROWING BOY.

AND I HAVE ROOM FOR MORE.

WHO ARE WE TO DENY
THIS FORCE OF NATURE?

POP,

WE NEED
ANOTHER ROUND OF BURGERS

FOR THE HUMAN
GARBAGE DISPOSAL HERE.

OHH! BUT
I DON'T WANT TO.

WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE THEM YOURSELF?

OHH! WHY ARE
YOU STARING AT ME?

STOP IT!
LEAVE ME ALONE!

UH, DID YOU
JUST EXPERIENCE
WHAT I EXPERIENCED?

I'VE HEARD
OF MOOD SWINGS,

BUT THIS
IS RIDICULOUS.

MAXIMUM
WEIRDNESS.

BUT ISN'T THE WAY
POP TATE IS ACTING
SOMEHOW FAMILIAR?

I'M GOING TO USE
THE PAY PHONE OUTSIDE
TO CALL A DOCTOR

JUST IN CASE
POP TATE IS REALLY ILL.

THINGS CAN'T GET
WEIRDER THAN THIS.

DOES THIS MEAN
I'M NOT GETTING
ANOTHER PLATE OF BURGERS?

All: HUH?

OH, HI, VERONICA.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

POP TATE IS
ACTING AWFULLY WEIRD.

OHH! ARCHIE!

THERE'S A KETCHUP BOTTLE
ON THE TOP SHELF!

I CAN'T REACH IT!

[GASPS]

OHH! ARCHIE!

ARCHIE, I'M
DOUBLE-PARKED
OUTSIDE.

Pop Tate:
[WHINES] ARCHIE!

WHEN WILL I LEARN
IT CAN ALWAYS GET
WEIRDER THAN THIS?

OHH!

ARCHIE!
ARCHIE!

ARCHIE!
ARCHIE!

[GASPS]

Veronica: I'M
THE REAL VERONICA!

Pop: NO, I'M
THE REAL VERONICA.

THIS SHOULD BE
A LOT MORE FUN THAN
IT'S TURNING OUT TO BE.

OHH! ARCHIE, TELL HER
I'M THE REAL VERONICA!

SHE'S EVEN WORSE
IN STEREO.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
THIS BRINGS
A WHOLE NEW MEANING

TO THE WORDS
"DOUBLE DATING."

STOP IT! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
YOU'RE RIPPING ARCHIE APART!

TELL THIS LOUSY IMPOSTOR
TO LEAVE ARCHIE ALONE!

YOU MAY LOOK
A LITTLE LIKE ME,

BUT I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD
IN AN OUTFIT LIKE THAT.

WELL, I MAKE IT
LOOK GOOD.

I, VERONICA LODGE,

AM JUST
NATURALLY GLAMOROUS,

NO MATTER
WHAT I WEAR.

THAT'S IT!
I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

QUIET, YOU TWO!

OHH! BUT--

NO! NOT ANOTHER WORD.
LET'S SEPARATE THESE TWO.

ANYTHING TO GET THEM
TO SHUT UP.

REGGIE, JUGHEAD,

TAKE THIS VERONICA
INTO THE STOCKROOM

WHILE WE SORT THIS OUT.

NYAH!

OH, MAN, MY HEAD.

VERONICA,
THAT'S NO IMPOSTOR,

THAT'S POP TATE.

SOMEHOW HE CHANGED
INTO A DUPLICATE OF YOU.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

THERE'S AN EXPLANATION
OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
SEARCH UNTIL WE FIND IT.

OHH! THAT
COULD TAKE FOREVER!

WE CAN CHECK NEWSPAPERS
AT THE LIBRARY,

SEE IF ANYTHING ODD
HAS HAPPENED
IN THE LAST FEW DAYS.

AT LEAST THE PROBLEM
IS ISOLATED TO POP TATE.

OH, NO!
[GASPS]
HUH?

WHEN AM I GOING TO LEARN
NOT TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT?

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
A TRENDSETTER, VERONICA,

BUT THIS
IS RIDICULOUS.

THERE HAS TO BE
AN EXPLANATION
FOR ALL OF THIS.

LOOK! I'M
STEALING MY CAR!

OR ONE OF ME
IS STEALING MY CAR.

STOP, THIEF!

[GASPS]

COME BACK, VERONICA!

YOU SHOULDN'T
SEPARATE FROM US.
WE'LL LOSE YOU.

WE BETTER GO AFTER HER.

GET OUT OF MY CAR
THIS INSTANT!

OHH! BUT IT'S NOT
YOUR CAR, IT'S MY CAR.

I'M VERONICA.

DID YOU SEE THAT?
SHE STOLE MY CAR!

AREN'T YOU GOING
TO DO SOMETHING?

[WHINES]
BUT THE CAR'S ALREADY
HALFWAY DOWN THE STREET!

AND WHAT IF I CATCH HER?

I'LL HAVE
TO TYPE UP A REPORT!

I JUST DID MY NAILS!

THIS IS AWFUL.

YOU SHOULD BE
MORE RESPONSIBLE.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO!

FORGET IT.

OHH! MY FEET
ARE SO TIRED!

WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE
DELIVER THIS MAIL FOR ME?

WHY DO ALL THESE PEOPLE
WRITE LETTERS ANYWAY?

DO I REALLY
SOUND THAT BAD?

[GASPS]

OHH!
I'M TIRED OF MIMING!

WHY CAN'T I JUST TELL
PEOPLE WHAT I'M DOING?

OHH! LOOK AT ME,
EVERYONE!

I'M TRAPPED IN A BOX!

THIS IS CRAZY.

HUH?

KEEP AWAY FROM ME!

OHH! BUT I DON'T WANT TO!

OHH! IT ISN'T FAIR!

DON'T GET
ANY CLOSER!

OHH! WHY ARE YOU
SO MEAN TO ME?

LEAVE ME ALONE!

BUT I NEVER GET MY WAY!

QUIT YOUR LOUSY WHINING!

[ALL WHINING]

OOOOHHHH!

[PANTING] AAAAHHH!

Archie: IT'S LIKE LOOKING
FOR A NEEDLE IN A...

IN A NEEDLE STACK.

SOMEONE SHOULD
HAVE WARNED VERONICA

THAT RUNNING INTO
A CROWD OF YOURSELF

IS A GOOD WAY
OF GETTING LOST.

[PANTING]

OH, ARCHIE. I'M SO SORRY.

I HAD NO IDEA HOW ANNOYING
ALL MY WHINING IS.

WE'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU,

I MEAN,
THE REAL YOU.

TO THINK THAT JUST
A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO,

I WISHED THAT
EVERYONE WOULD
BECOME JUST LIKE ME.

WHAT A HORRIBLE IDEA!

HUH? WHEN WAS THAT?

BACK WHEN I WAS PACKING
DADDY'S ARTIFACTS,

BUT THAT COULDN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

HMM. I WONDER.

BETTY, DO YOU STILL HAVE
THAT EXHIBIT CATALOG?

HERE IT IS.

WERE YOU HOLDING THIS
WHEN YOU MADE THAT WISH?

YES, I WAS!

THE SNIKBOD IDOL!

THE GRANTER OF WISHES.

APPARENTLY, VERONICA'S WISH
GOES THROUGH STAGES.

FIRST, SOMEONE GETS
WHINEY AND SELFISH--

LIKE ME.

AND THEN THE PERSON TURNS
INTO A DUPLICATE VERONICA.

QUICK! CALL YOUR DAD

AND HAVE HIM
GET THAT IDOL BACK.

WE HAVE TO GET
OUR HANDS ON IT
AND REVERSE THE SPELL.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

OHH! YOU GET UP
AND ANSWER IT!

OHH! NO, YOU GET UP
AND ANSWER IT!

THERE'S NO ANSWER.

THEN WE'LL HAVE TO GO
TO THE MUSEUM ON OUR OWN.

COME ON.

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS WHY YOU GUYS HAVEN'T
BEEN AFFECTED BY MY WISH.

YOUR WISH COVERS
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.

IT PROBABLY
WORKS GRADUALLY,

HITTING PEOPLE
AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS.

OH, NO!
THAT MEANS--

YES. IF WE CAN'T REVERSE
THE WISH IN TIME,

WE'LL TURN
INTO VERONICAS, TOO.

IT SAYS HERE
THAT THE SNIKBOD IDOL
WAS ORIGINALLY KEPT

ON A HIGH PEDESTAL
SURROUNDED BY DEATH TRAPS

TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ITS POWERS.

SOUNDS LIKE
A GOOD IDEA TO ME.

THAT LITTLE IDOL
IS BAD NEWS.

HERE'S SOME MORE BAD NEWS.

THE MUSEUM HAS
FAITHFULLY RECONSTRUCTED

THE PEDESTAL CHAMBER,
INCLUDING THE DEATH TRAPS.

DEATH TRAPS?

HUH. WHAT'S
A FEW DEATH TRAPS?

IF YOU SET YOUR MIND
TO DO SOMETHING,
NOTHING CAN STOP YOU.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Veronica: WHAT'S WRONG?

OHH. WE'RE OUT OF GAS.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO RUN TO THE MUSEUM.

OHH! RUNNING? I HATE--

HUH?

SORRY.
FORCE OF HABIT.

[ALL PANTING]

WAIT FOR ME!

Betty: COME ON!

WHOA!

HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE REST BREAK?

THERE'S NO TIME!
EVERY SECOND COUNTS!

WE HAVE TO FIND THAT IDOL
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

IT WAS JUST
A SUGGESTION.

[SIGHS]

THIS PLACE
IS ENORMOUS.

HOW ARE WE GOING
TO FIND THE EXHIBIT?

LET'S ASK
THAT SECURITY GUARD.

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THE SNIKBOD IDOL
EXHIBIT IS?

OHH!
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

I ONLY WORK HERE!

I THINK IT'S BACK THERE
SOMEWHERE.

COME ON!
TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

I'M NOT AFRAID OF
A LITTLE DARKNESS.

I'M GAME IF YOU ARE.

[PANTING] HUH?!

OK, I LIED.

I AM AFRAID
OF THE DARK.

HOLD MY HAND, BETTY.

OHH! BUT I DON'T
WANT TO HOLD YOUR HANDS.

HOLD YOUR OWN HANDS!

BETTY! NOT YOU, TOO!

OHH! LET GO OF ME!

YOU'RE HOLDING
MY ARM TOO TIGHT!
I BRUISE EASILY!

OHH! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE!

BETTY! DON'T YOU
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE?

OHH! STOP IT!

I'M NOT BETTY!
MY NAME'S VERONICA!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

ME AND MY STUPID WISH.

UHH!

IT WAS A DREAM,

JUST A BIG NASTY DREAM.

HELLO, ARCHIE-KINS.
PULL ME UP.

OHH! WHY WOULD
I WANT TO DO THAT?

YOUR HANDS ARE PROBABLY
SWEATY AND ICKY.

OH, YUCK!

OH, ARCHIE-KINS,
I'M SORRY.

NOW I'M THE ONLY ONE
LEFT WHO'S STILL ME.

WELL, TECHNICALLY,
EVERYONE ELSE IS ME,

BUT THE POINT IS THAT
I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT
WHO CAN HANDLE THIS.

AND WHY AM I
TALKING TO MYSELF?

[GASPS]

SEEMS SAFE ENOUGH.

READY OR NOT,
HERE I COME
WITH ANOTHER WISH.

[GASPS]

OK, I THINK WE'RE
IN DEATH-TRAP MODE.

WHOA!

THIS ISN'T SO HARD.

HUH?

UH-OH.

WHOA!

AAH!

HUH?

AAH!

WHOA!

SOMEBODY REALLY DOESN'T
WANT TO MAKE THIS EASY.

WHOA!

A LITTLE REMINDER:

I'M JUST AN AVERAGE,
NORMAL, RICH TEENAGE GIRL,

NOT A BARBARIAN PRINCESS.

SO LET'S EASE UP ON
ALL THESE ORDEALS ALREADY.

OH, THANK YOU.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS.

HMM.

LET'S SEE.

VERONICA LODGE HERE.

WE HAD A MOMENT
A FEW HOURS BACK.

YOU, ME, AND THAT BOX.

I MADE A SILLY LITTLE WISH
AND YOU GRANTED IT?

ANYWAY, I WAS
BEING ESPECIALLY
WHINEY AND SELFISH

WHEN I MADE THAT WISH.

WELL, NOW I KNOW
WHAT A BIG PAIN IT IS
BEING AROUND WHINERS.

SO I WAS WONDERING...
COULD YOU TAKE BACK MY WISH?

I GAVE IT MY BEST SHOT.

I GUESS
IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

I JUST WISH EVERYTHING
WOULD RETURN TO NORMAL.

[RUMBLING]

UH, DOES THAT MEAN
THE WISH IS ENDED?

WHAT ARE WE
DOING OUT HERE?

SMITHERS?

WHY AM I EATING
EXTRA-SCRUMPTIOUS

STRAWBERRY-FLAVORED
NONFAT FROZEN YOGURT?

I DON'T EVEN LIKE
FROZEN YOGURT.

ALL RIGHT!

YOU JOKERS KNOW
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE IN THE STOCKROOM.

WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

AND WHY DO I HAVE
WET FINGERNAIL POLISH
ON MY NAILS?

VERONICA!
WHAT HAPPENED?!

DID YOU
REVERSE THE WISH?

IF YOU'RE BACK
TO YOUR NORMAL SELVES,

I GUESS I DID.

THANKS,
LITTLE FELLOW.

HUH?

UH, YOU COULDN'T
GIVE ME A LITTLE HELP

GETTING OUT
OF THE ROOM, COULD YOU?

OH, NEVER MIND.
I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF.

THEN I CLIMBED
OUT OF THE HOLE

AND REVERSED THE WISH.

GOOD FOR YOU.

YOU CAME THROUGH
WITH FLYING COLORS.

YOU SAVED RIVERDALE

AND THE WORLD.

I GUESS I DID.

I MUST BE SOME TOUGH,
HERO-TYPE LADY.

OHH! OH, NO!
I BROKE A NAIL!

JUST KIDDING.

Archie:
THINGS ARE NORMAL AGAIN.

NO ONE IN RIVERDALE
REMEMBERS
EVER BEING VERONICA.

THERE'S ONLY THE ONE
TRUE VERONICA NOW,

AND BELIEVE ME,

ONE IS PLENTY
TO HANDLE AS IT IS.

STILL, VERONICA IS
A LOT LESS WHINEY NOWADAYS.

MAYBE SHE GOT
A BETTER LOOK AT HERSELF
THAN MOST PEOPLE GET

AND DECIDED TO CHANGE.

WHO KNOWS?

ONE THING I DO KNOW
IS THIS:

"BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR,
YOU MIGHT GET IT,"

IS ALWAYS GOOD ADVICE

IN A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.