Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 16 - Compu-Terror - full transcript
Announcer: COMPUT-TERROR!
WHAT ANCIENT EVIL
CAN CHANGE INNOCENT WORDS
INTO STRANGE CREATURES
AT WILL?
CAN IT BE STOPPED, OR IS
THIS SLEEPY TOWN DOOMED?
DON'T MISS
THE CYBER-SLAUGHTER IN
COMPUT-TERROR!
♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE
♪ VERONICA, BETTY
♪ JUGHEAD, TOO
♪ WEIRD
♪ ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES
Voice: HEY, KID,
LET ME OUT!
[GASPS]
BAH! IS SOMEBODY
THERE?
OH! OH-H!
UH-OH! BETTER HIDE!
OH, I WISH I WAS
OUT OF HERE!
YOUR FIRST WISH
IS GRANTED.
HUH? [SCREAMS]
DON'T LEAVE ME.
YOU'VE GOT 2 MORE
WISHES COMING!
FELL OVER
BY ITSELF, I GUESS.
BUT AT LEAST
THE STOPPER IS STILL IN.
CAN'T AFFORD TO
EVER LET THIS DANGER OUT.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
BOO!
REGGIE, I'M TRYING
TO CONCENTRATE HERE!
THEN HERE, LET ME WAKE UP
THE LITTLE MOUSE IN THE WHEEL.
HEY, IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A HOT STORY,
WRITE ABOUT
THE TIME I SHOT DOWN
THOSE ENEMY FIGHTERS.
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS
TAKING CREDIT
FOR THINGS YOU
DON'T DO, REGGIE?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN
A PILOT.
I WAS RIGHT
ON HIS TAIL,
WHEN HE BANKED
HARD RIGHT.
RAT-T-T-TAT!
[GASPS]MY COMPUTER!
[GASPS]
HUH?
NICE ONE, REGGIE.
NOT ONLY DID YOU
RUIN MY STORY,
AND NOT ONLY DID YOU
SHORT OUT MY LAPTOP,
BUT THIS HARD DRIVE
IS RED HOT!
YEOW!
I TOLD YOU IT WAS
A HOT STORY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO NOW, JUGHEAD.
MY NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
IS DUE SOON,
AND LOOK...
I CAN'T EVEN TYPE.
NO SWEAT. YOU DICTATE.
I'LL HUNT AND PECK.
THANKS, BUT I REALLY
DON'T HAVE
A GOOD WEIRD MYSTERY
TO DICTATE.
TRUTH IS, I'M BLANK.
HOW ABOUT CHECKING OUT
DR. BEAUMONT'S SHOP?
HE'S ALWAYS GOT
SOMETHING WEIRD
IN THERE.
JUGHEAD,
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
I NEVER ARGUE
WITH FRIENDS.
WELCOME,
YOUNG GENTLEMEN,
TO MY EMPORIUM
OF CURIOS
AND ANTIQUITIES.
THANKS, DOC.
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD ANY WEIRD
OR SPOOKY STORIES
THAT YOU'D CARE
TO SHARE.
AH, OF COURSE.
YOU WILL WRITE THE STORY,
WHILE YOUR FRIEND HERE
WILL TYPE IT ON THIS LAPTOP,
WHICH YOU RECEIVED
AS A LOANER
WHILE YOURS IS
IN THE REPAIR SHOP.
THAT'S AMAZING!
DID YOU READ OUR MINDS?
NO. I READ THE REPAIR SHOP
STICKER THAT SAID "LOANER."
OH. OH, YEAH.
HEH HEH.
ANYWAY, GOT ANY
CREEPY TALES TO TELL?
LIKE THIS STRANGE,
PLASTIC BULLET.
WAS THIS USED TO SHOOT
A POLTERGEIST?
NO. IT'S MY
NASAL INHALER.
HEY, DOC, HOW ABOUT
ARABIAN KNICK-KNACK,
HUH?
THIS? THIS IS
NOTHING.
I'M SORRY. NO STORIES
TODAY, BOYS. GOOD-BYE.
Voice:
HEH HEH HEH.
BUT MY COMPUTER!
HERE. NOW, GOOD-DAY.
BOY, WAS HE IN A
STRANGE MOOD TODAY.
YEAH. PROBABLY WORRIED
ABOUT SOME COSMIC DISRUPTION.
ME, I ONLY WORRY
ABOUT LUNCH.
THIS IS JUST GREAT.
NO STORY!
AND I HAVE TO
WORK EXTRA HOURS
THIS WEEK
TO PAY FOR
MY COMPUTER REPAIR!
LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING
TO MISS MY DEADLINE.
MAYBE YOU COULD
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO WRITE YOUR ARTICLE
FOR YOU.
JUGHEAD, DO YOU
MEAN IT?
WHOA, WHOA.
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
THE WEIRDEST MYSTERY
I COULD COME UP WITH
IS WHY THERE'S NO HAM
IN A HAMBURGER.
HMM. WHO COULD
I TRUST WITH MY
NEWSPAPER ARTICLE?
IT'S GOT
TO BE SOMEONE
WHO REALLY CARES
ABOUT MY STORIES.
VERONICA![GASPS]
BAD IDEA, ARCH.
RONNIE IS SWEET
AND EVERYTHING,
BUT ALL SHE REALLY
CARES ABOUT IS SHOPPING.
YOU'VE GOT HER
ALL WRONG, JUGHEAD.
VERONICA WILL
LOVE THIS!
I HATE THIS!
I'D RATHER BE SHOPPING.
HEY, EVERYONE,
REGGIE'S HERE!
AH, MY PUBLIC.
BEAT IT, REGGIE.
WHO DUMPED TRASH
ON YOUR LAWN
OF HAPPINESS?
ARCHIE. HE STUCK ME
WITH HIS STUPID ARTICLE.
AND I CAN'T THINK OF
A SINGLE THING
TO WRITE ABOUT.
YOU MEAN OLD
CARROT-TOP HAS GIVEN
YOU COMPLETE CONTROL
OVER HIS WEIRD
MYSTERY STORY?
YES. AND THE ONLY
MYSTERY I CAN THINK OF
IS WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH
FASHION SENSE IN RIVERDALE.
DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR
PRETTY LITTLE HEAD
ABOUT THIS NASTY
OLD ASSIGNMENT.
REGGIE MANTLE
WILL TAKE OVER
THE REPORTER CHORES.
YOU MEAN IT?
CITY MALL, HERE I COME!
I'LL WRITE THE DUMBEST
ARTICLE IN HISTORY,
THEN I'LL PUT
ARCHIE'S NAME ON IT.
HE'LL BE THE LAUGHING-STOCK
OF THE SCHOOL!
[LAUGHS]
HEH HEH HEH.
MUST BE AN ECHO IN HERE.
TIME FOR SOME MISCHIEF.
I JUST WISH I COULD MAKE
THIS DUMB STORY COME TRUE.
THAT WOULD BE A HOOT!
YOUR FIRST WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
WHO SAID THAT?
ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES.
HELLO, DEAR READERS.
I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT
A HORRIBLE MONSTER
THAT APPEARED
IN RIVERDALE TODAY.
MY OLD PAL JUGHEAD
WAS IN HIS FRONT YARD,
RELAXING IN A HAMMOCK.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
A HORRIFIC HOWL BELLOWED
FROM BENEATH THE STREETS!
GRR.
JUGHEAD FELL OUT
OF HIS HAMMOCK IN DISBELIEF.
WHOA! YAA!
OOF!
AAH!
FOR WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WAS
BEYOND HUMAN UNDERSTANDING.
GRR.
AAH!
THE HIDEOUS CREATURE
TORE ITS WAY UP
FROM THE DEPTHS BELOW,
AND TOWERED OVER JUGHEAD.
THE MONSTROUS REPTILE
HAD SABER-TOOTH FANGS,
DEADLY HORNS,
AND A NASTY RASH
ON HIS STOMACH.
[SCRATCHING]
JUGHEAD TRIED TO
HIDE BEHIND A TREE,
BUT THE CREATURE BLASTED HIM
WITH ITS FLAME-THROWER BREATH.
AAH!
THE TREE TRUNK SAVED
JUGHEAD'S LIFE...
BUT THE TURTLE HAD
ANOTHER TRICK UP ITS SHELL.
LASER BEAM EYES.
THERE WAS NOTHING
TO SAVE JUGHEAD NOW!
BUT THEN, SOMETHING
MIRACULOUS HAPPENED.
[JUGHEAD MOANS]
WHAT?
THE MONSTER SAW
A BIRD FLY BY.
FASCINATED, HE SPROUTED
JET ROCKETS AND TOOK OFF.
THE CREATURE
DISAPPEARED INTO SPACE,
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.
SO ENDS ANOTHER
WEIRD MYSTERY,
WHICH I SWEAR ON
A STACK OF BIBLES,
IS ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY TRUE.
EVEN THE RASH PART.
HONEST AND TRULY!
THE END.
WAIT UNTIL THE EDITOR
GETS HOLD OF THIS!
ARCHIE WILL BE
THE BIGGEST JOKE ON CAMPUS!
Editor: FLYING TURTLES
WITH LASER EYES?
YEP. TOTALLY
RIDICULOUS, RIGHT?
WRONG. IT'S TOTALLY
FABULOUS!
AN ACCURATE ACCOUNT
OF THE GIANT TURTLE
ATTACK!
HUH?
FOR ONCE, OUR SCHOOL
HAS AN EXCLUSIVE STORY!
CYNTHIA KIM
HAS SCOOPED
THE CITY NEWSPAPER.
ARE YOU NUTS?
THIS IS ALL MAKE-BELIEVE.
FLAME BREATH,
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
BUT THOSE ARE
THE VERY THINGS
THAT JUGHEAD KEEPS
MUMBLING ABOUT.
WHAT?
BIG TEETH, ROCKET PACKS,
UH, HORNS,
LASERS, IN HAMMOCK,
HUGE TURTLE...
SEE, THOSE
RANDOM DETAILS
ALL MAKE SENSE
AFTER READING
ARCHIE'S FANTASTIC
ARTICLE.
NO, NO. YOU GOT IT WRONG.
I WROTE THAT ARTICLE,
NOT ARCHIE.
YOU?
YEAH. I SHOULD GET
ALL THE CREDIT.
THEN IT LOOKS LIKE
I'VE DISCOVERED
A HOT NEW
STAR REPORTER.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
WOW, REGGIE,
THAT ARTICLE
YOU WROTE YESTERDAY
IS FANTASTIC!
EVERYONE IN SCHOOL
IS TALKING ABOUT IT.
YEAH. IT'S MUCH BETTER
THAN ANYTHING I COULD'VE
COME UP WITH.
SHUCKS, GALS, IT WAS
NOTHING FOR A TALENTED
GENIUS LIKE ME.
THERE YOU ARE,
YOU SNAKE!
I WANT MY NEWSPAPER
COLUMN BACK!
WHAT?
YOU MEAN
REGGIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES?
THAT'S MY SERIES,
AND YOU KNOW IT!
YOU CAN HAVE IT, JUNIOR.
I'M THROUGH WITH THIS
2-BIT SCHOOL PAPER.
THIS MORNING,
THE RIVERDALE CITY GAZETTE
ASKED ME TO DO
A DAILY ARTICLE FOR THEM.
YOU GOT A JOB ON
A BIG CITY NEWSPAPER?
THAT'S BEEN MY DREAM.
WELL, DREAM ON,
LITTLE BROOMSTICK
COWBOY,
THE JOB IS MINE.
WELL, GOT TO GO REPORT ON
MY NEXT BRILLIANT ARTICLE.
HOLD ON!
HOW EXACTLY DID
YOU REPORT WITH
SUCH REALISM
WHEN YOU WEREN'T
EVEN THERE?
I DON'T KNOW, UH,
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
IF I SHOULD GIVE AWAY
MY REPORTING SECRETS.
WE GENIUSES HAVE TO
PROTECT OUR TALENT.
HUH?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
I WROTE ABOUT SOMETHING
I NEVER EVEN SAW!
HOW DID I DO THAT?
AM I PSYCHIC?
WHAT IF I CAN'T
DO IT AGAIN?
MARTIAN ATTACK U.S.A.
THAT'S IT! I'LL JUST STEAL
THIS SCIENCE FICTION IDEA.
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW,
AND I'LL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.
I ONLY WISH THIS STORY WOULD
BE AS GOOD AS THE LAST ONE.
YOUR SECOND WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
OK. HERE GOES.
IT WAS A SUNNY, BRIGHT DAY
AT RIVERDALE HIGH THIS MORNING.
WHEN SUDDENLY, DARK CLOUDS
BLOTTED OUT THE SUN.
THERE WAS SOMETHING
HIDING IN THOSE CLOUDS.
SOMETHING ALIEN.
IT WAS A MARTIAN SAUCER.
[SCREAMING]
THE ROUND, METALLIC SHIP
BEGAN FIRING A RAY-GUN
AT STUDENTS.
EVERYONE WAS PANICKED
UNTIL PRINCIPAL WEATHERBEE
SUDDENLY APPEARED
TO MAINTAIN ORDER.
ALIENS! DON'T PANIC.
HEAD FOR THE EXITS
IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.
BUT, SIR,
WE'RE OUTSIDE!
THEN, UH, HEAD
FOR THE ENTRANCES!
UNFORTUNATELY,
THE ALIENS DECIDED
TO ABDUCT THE PRINCIPAL
FOR THEIR FIENDISH EXPERIMENTS.
HELP! SOMEBODY
GET ME DOWN!
ARCHIE ANDREWS
TRIED TO HELP,
BUT AS USUAL,
HE WAS WORTHLESS.
OOF!
HELP! SOMEBODY
HELP ME!
IT LOOKED LIKE
THERE WAS ONLY ONE PERSON
MAN ENOUGH TO HANDLE
THIS SITUATION:
REGGIE MANTLE.
THROWING HIS OWN SHOE,
HE MANAGED TO HIT
THE ONLY VULNERABLE PART
OF THE SAUCER.
[SCREAMING]
HOLY SMOKE!
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!
MUST THROW SHOE!
HELP! SOMEONE
PLEASE HELP ME!
HELP!
YAA!
THE SHIP WAS SEVERELY DAMAGED
BY REGGIE'S HEROIC ACT,
AND IT LET GO
OF PRINCIPAL WEATHERBEE.
RETREATING TO MARS,
THE SHIP LEFT RIVERDALE
FOR GOOD.
THE SUNNY DAY RETURNED,
AND EVERYONE CONGRATULATED
REGGIE MANTLE.
THE END.
THIS BOY IS A HERO!
I PROCLAIM TODAY
REGGIE MANTLE DAY!
NO SCHOOL!
[CHEERING]
YOU OK?
NO. THERE'S
SOMETHING WEIRD
ABOUT REGGIE'S
STORIES.
IN FACT, I'D CALL IT
A WEIRD MYSTERY.
HOW'D I KNOW YOU WERE
GOING TO SAY THAT?
DR. BEAUMONT?
HELLO!
[MUMBLING]
EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR,
BUT I WAS WONDERING
IF WE COULD
PICK YOUR BRAIN
FOR A BIT.
HELLO?
YOU IN THERE?
SPEAK UP!
I DON'T THINK THERE'S
A BRAIN THERE TO PICK.
SHH!
UH, DOCTOR,
WHAT'S WRONG?
IT GOT OUT!
WHAT GOT OUT?
THE GENIE FROM
THIS BOTTLE.
HE GOT OUT
THROUGH THIS CRACK.
TALK ABOUT CRACKED.
ARE YOU SERIOUS,
DOC? A REAL GENIE?
OH, YES. VERY POWERFUL.
VERY EVIL.
BUT HE'S STILL
HERE IN MY STORE!
GENIES MUST HIDE
INSIDE AN OBJECT,
USUALLY A BOTTLE.
UNTIL THEY CAN GRANT
SOMEONE 3 WISHES.
SO IT HASN'T BEEN
FREED YET.
NO. AS SOON AS
I DISCOVERED THE CRACK,
I SHUT THE PLACE DOWN.
NOTHING HAS LEFT THIS STORE
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS.
[GULPS] EXCEPT
A LAPTOP COMPUTER!
MY GOODNESS, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU WERE HERE THAT DAY.
THE GENIE MUST BE
IN YOUR LAPTOP!
OF COURSE!
NO WONDER
REGGIE'S 2 STORIES
WERE SO ACCURATE!
HE WROTE THEM
AND THE GENIE
MADE THEM COME TRUE.
TWO?
QUICK, YOU'VE GOT
TO FIND THIS FELLOW
AND STOP HIM FROM MAKING
THAT THIRD WISH!
OTHERWISE,
RIVERDALE IS DOOMED!
WE HAVE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO HONOR REGGIE MANTLE,
THE STUDENT WHO
SAVED MY LIFE.
[CROWD CHEERS]
STOP, STOP.
YOU'RE GIVING ME
TOO MUCH CREDIT.
IT WASN'T ME
WHO SAVED YOU.
Mr. Weatherbee:
IT WASN'T?
NO. IT WAS MY NEW
MENTAL ABILITY
TO MAKE THINGS
HAPPEN.
I SIMPLY WISH THINGS
INTO EXISTENCE.
HA HA HA!
WHAT A KIDDER,
HA HA HA!
NO. IT'S TRUE!
I CREATED
THE FLYING SAUCER
AND THE GIANT TURTLE
WITH THESE
TALENTED FINGERS.
[GIGGLE]
ALL RIGHT, THEN I'LL
JUST HAVE TO PROVE
TO YOU BUMPKINS
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
THAT I'M
THE GREATEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED
TO RIVERDALE.
Both: HUH?
WHATEVER I TYPE
WILL COME TRUE.
REGGIE MANTLE
WISHES IT SO.
Genie: YOUR THIRD WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
IT WAS
REGGIE MANTLE DAY
AT RIVERDALE HIGH,
AND EVERYONE
HAD TURNED OUT
TO HONOR HIM.
WHEN SUDDENLY,
THE FOOTBALL FIELD
TURNED
BRIGHT ORANGE.
Students: OH, WOW!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
HOW DID HE
DO THAT?
THE ENTIRE TOWN
WAS SO AMAZED
BY REGGIE'S MENTAL
ABILITIES,
THAT THEY GAVE HIM
A SPORTS CAR
AND A PILE OF MONEY.
GOOD HEAVENS!
HE CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
THEN, BETTY
AND VERONICA
SHOWED EVERYONE
HOW MUCH THEY ADORED
THE AMAZING REGGIE.
WHAT IS HE
TALKING ABOUT?
I DON'T
ADORE HIM.
Both: MWA!
YUCK!
UHH!
REGGIE,
DON'T DO IT!
REGGIE FINALLY
PROVED ONCE
AND FOR ALL,
THAT HE DESERVES
ALL THE CREDIT
FOR EVERY AMAZING
THING THAT EVER
HAPPENED.
THE END.
I HAVE GRANTED 3 WISHES,
AND NOW, I AM FREE!
[CROWD CHEERS]
MWA! MWA!
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
THEY LIKE ME!
THEY REALLY,
REALLY LIKE ME!
Students:
OOH, WHAT IS THAT?HUH?
AFTER 700 YEARS,
AT LAST I AM FREE!
[SCREAMING]
AAH!
OH, NO, JUGHEAD,
WE'RE TOO LATE!
WHAT IS
THAT THING?
BAD NEWS!
[MURMURING]
I'VE BEEN COOPED UP
FAR TOO LONG.
IT'S TIME TO
HAVE SOME FUN!
HOW ABOUT A BARBEQUE?
AHH, THIS ONE
LOOKS TASTY.
NO!
AAH! PLEASE, NO!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
HELP!
YES. HE'LL
DO NICELY.
HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!
HMM. NOW WHO'D MAKE
A GOOD APPETIZER?
RUN, EVERYBODY!
NO!
NO! PUT ME DOWN!
NOW I KNOW WHAT
A FLAME-BROILED BURGER
MUST FEEL LIKE!
HELP!
REGGIE,
DO SOMETHING!
YOU CAN MAKE THINGS
HAPPEN, REMEMBER?
THAT'S RIGHT!
REGGIE MANTLE HAS POWER.
HE CAN DO ANYTHING.
YES, SAVE US,
REGGIE.
WE BELIEVE IN YOU.
NOBODY KNEW WHERE
THE GENIE HAD COME FROM,
BUT REGGIE MANTLE MADE
THE BRUTE DISAPPEAR
WITH A WAVE OF
HIS MIGHTY HAND.
BE GONE!
SCRAM! VAMOOSE!
GO! VANISH!
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY POWER, RUNT.
IT WAS ALL ME!
HOW DARE YOU TAKE
CREDIT FOR MY DEEDS!
I'M THE ONE WHO
CAN CREATE THINGS,
AND I'M THE ONE
WHO CAN TAKE THEM AWAY.
[ALL GASP]
MAMA!
I'M TOO GORGEOUS TO DIE!
ARCHIE, THINK
OF SOMETHING!
YO, GREEN BOY,
DOWN HERE!
AH, THE LOUD-MOUTHED ONE
WITH THE RED HAIR!
YOU SHALL BE
MY NEXT VICTIM!
YEAH, YEAH.
REAL SCARY.
BUT FIRST
I'VE GOT TO
ASK YOU SOMETHING.
ASK QUICKLY,
GREASE SPOT!
OK. AREN'T YOU
ACTING KIND OF
LIKE REGGIE HERE?
I MEAN, YOU'RE
TAKING CREDIT
FOR ALL THIS
MAGICAL STUFF,
BUT HOW DO I KNOW
YOU REALLY HAVE
ANY POWER?
REGGIE DIDN'T.
PST! LEAVE ME
OUT OF IT!
OF COURSE I HAVE
THE POWER!
PROVE IT!GLADLY!
GIVE ME
AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK.
WELL,
HERE'S THE MOST
IMPOSSIBLE THING
ON THIS PLANET.
GETTING KETCHUP
OUT OF A NEW BOTTLE.
CHILD'S PLAY!
HA HA HA!
SHAKING THE BOTTLE
DOES NO GOOD.
IT MUST BE PUSHED OUT.
AND WHEN I AM DONE,
I WILL DESTROY YOU
FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!
SEE HOW EASILY
I ACCOMPLISH THIS!
Students: WOW,
THAT'S AMAZING!
GOT HIM!
Genie:
LET ME OUT!
I MEAN IT!
I AM ALL-POWERFUL!
PLEASE?
SORRY. I'M GIVING
THIS BOTTLE
TO DR. BEAUMONT
SO HE CAN
GUARD IT FOREVER.
Genie: NO!Girls: ARCHIE DID IT!
NO. I DID IT!
IF I HADN'T FREED
THE GENIE,
THERE WOULD
NEVER HAVE BEEN
A KETCHUP BOTTLE
THERE FOR
ARCHIE TO USE!
HEY, I THOUGHT
YOU ADORED ME!
Archie: AND SO, THE GENIE
WAS LOCKED AWAY
IN A KETCHUP BOTTLE,
AND RIVERDALE WAS
SPARED FROM DESTRUCTION.
EVERYTHING'S PRETTY MUCH
BACK TO NORMAL.
MY FINGERS HAVE HEALED,
AND I'M ABLE TO TYPE
MY NEWSPAPER ARTICLES AGAIN.
BUT POOR JUGHEAD
WAS SO FREAKED OUT,
HE DIDN'T EAT HAMBURGERS
FOR A WHOLE DAY!
AND REGGIE LEARNED
HOW DANGEROUS IT IS
TO TAKE CREDIT FOR
SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO.
AND UNTIL
THE GRASS GROWS OUT,
THE ONLY PLACE
YOU CAN FIND
AN ORANGE FOOTBALL FIELD
IS IN...
A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.
WHAT ANCIENT EVIL
CAN CHANGE INNOCENT WORDS
INTO STRANGE CREATURES
AT WILL?
CAN IT BE STOPPED, OR IS
THIS SLEEPY TOWN DOOMED?
DON'T MISS
THE CYBER-SLAUGHTER IN
COMPUT-TERROR!
♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE
♪ VERONICA, BETTY
♪ JUGHEAD, TOO
♪ WEIRD
♪ ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES
Voice: HEY, KID,
LET ME OUT!
[GASPS]
BAH! IS SOMEBODY
THERE?
OH! OH-H!
UH-OH! BETTER HIDE!
OH, I WISH I WAS
OUT OF HERE!
YOUR FIRST WISH
IS GRANTED.
HUH? [SCREAMS]
DON'T LEAVE ME.
YOU'VE GOT 2 MORE
WISHES COMING!
FELL OVER
BY ITSELF, I GUESS.
BUT AT LEAST
THE STOPPER IS STILL IN.
CAN'T AFFORD TO
EVER LET THIS DANGER OUT.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
BOO!
REGGIE, I'M TRYING
TO CONCENTRATE HERE!
THEN HERE, LET ME WAKE UP
THE LITTLE MOUSE IN THE WHEEL.
HEY, IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A HOT STORY,
WRITE ABOUT
THE TIME I SHOT DOWN
THOSE ENEMY FIGHTERS.
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS
TAKING CREDIT
FOR THINGS YOU
DON'T DO, REGGIE?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN
A PILOT.
I WAS RIGHT
ON HIS TAIL,
WHEN HE BANKED
HARD RIGHT.
RAT-T-T-TAT!
[GASPS]MY COMPUTER!
[GASPS]
HUH?
NICE ONE, REGGIE.
NOT ONLY DID YOU
RUIN MY STORY,
AND NOT ONLY DID YOU
SHORT OUT MY LAPTOP,
BUT THIS HARD DRIVE
IS RED HOT!
YEOW!
I TOLD YOU IT WAS
A HOT STORY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO NOW, JUGHEAD.
MY NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
IS DUE SOON,
AND LOOK...
I CAN'T EVEN TYPE.
NO SWEAT. YOU DICTATE.
I'LL HUNT AND PECK.
THANKS, BUT I REALLY
DON'T HAVE
A GOOD WEIRD MYSTERY
TO DICTATE.
TRUTH IS, I'M BLANK.
HOW ABOUT CHECKING OUT
DR. BEAUMONT'S SHOP?
HE'S ALWAYS GOT
SOMETHING WEIRD
IN THERE.
JUGHEAD,
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
I NEVER ARGUE
WITH FRIENDS.
WELCOME,
YOUNG GENTLEMEN,
TO MY EMPORIUM
OF CURIOS
AND ANTIQUITIES.
THANKS, DOC.
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD ANY WEIRD
OR SPOOKY STORIES
THAT YOU'D CARE
TO SHARE.
AH, OF COURSE.
YOU WILL WRITE THE STORY,
WHILE YOUR FRIEND HERE
WILL TYPE IT ON THIS LAPTOP,
WHICH YOU RECEIVED
AS A LOANER
WHILE YOURS IS
IN THE REPAIR SHOP.
THAT'S AMAZING!
DID YOU READ OUR MINDS?
NO. I READ THE REPAIR SHOP
STICKER THAT SAID "LOANER."
OH. OH, YEAH.
HEH HEH.
ANYWAY, GOT ANY
CREEPY TALES TO TELL?
LIKE THIS STRANGE,
PLASTIC BULLET.
WAS THIS USED TO SHOOT
A POLTERGEIST?
NO. IT'S MY
NASAL INHALER.
HEY, DOC, HOW ABOUT
ARABIAN KNICK-KNACK,
HUH?
THIS? THIS IS
NOTHING.
I'M SORRY. NO STORIES
TODAY, BOYS. GOOD-BYE.
Voice:
HEH HEH HEH.
BUT MY COMPUTER!
HERE. NOW, GOOD-DAY.
BOY, WAS HE IN A
STRANGE MOOD TODAY.
YEAH. PROBABLY WORRIED
ABOUT SOME COSMIC DISRUPTION.
ME, I ONLY WORRY
ABOUT LUNCH.
THIS IS JUST GREAT.
NO STORY!
AND I HAVE TO
WORK EXTRA HOURS
THIS WEEK
TO PAY FOR
MY COMPUTER REPAIR!
LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING
TO MISS MY DEADLINE.
MAYBE YOU COULD
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO WRITE YOUR ARTICLE
FOR YOU.
JUGHEAD, DO YOU
MEAN IT?
WHOA, WHOA.
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
THE WEIRDEST MYSTERY
I COULD COME UP WITH
IS WHY THERE'S NO HAM
IN A HAMBURGER.
HMM. WHO COULD
I TRUST WITH MY
NEWSPAPER ARTICLE?
IT'S GOT
TO BE SOMEONE
WHO REALLY CARES
ABOUT MY STORIES.
VERONICA![GASPS]
BAD IDEA, ARCH.
RONNIE IS SWEET
AND EVERYTHING,
BUT ALL SHE REALLY
CARES ABOUT IS SHOPPING.
YOU'VE GOT HER
ALL WRONG, JUGHEAD.
VERONICA WILL
LOVE THIS!
I HATE THIS!
I'D RATHER BE SHOPPING.
HEY, EVERYONE,
REGGIE'S HERE!
AH, MY PUBLIC.
BEAT IT, REGGIE.
WHO DUMPED TRASH
ON YOUR LAWN
OF HAPPINESS?
ARCHIE. HE STUCK ME
WITH HIS STUPID ARTICLE.
AND I CAN'T THINK OF
A SINGLE THING
TO WRITE ABOUT.
YOU MEAN OLD
CARROT-TOP HAS GIVEN
YOU COMPLETE CONTROL
OVER HIS WEIRD
MYSTERY STORY?
YES. AND THE ONLY
MYSTERY I CAN THINK OF
IS WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH
FASHION SENSE IN RIVERDALE.
DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR
PRETTY LITTLE HEAD
ABOUT THIS NASTY
OLD ASSIGNMENT.
REGGIE MANTLE
WILL TAKE OVER
THE REPORTER CHORES.
YOU MEAN IT?
CITY MALL, HERE I COME!
I'LL WRITE THE DUMBEST
ARTICLE IN HISTORY,
THEN I'LL PUT
ARCHIE'S NAME ON IT.
HE'LL BE THE LAUGHING-STOCK
OF THE SCHOOL!
[LAUGHS]
HEH HEH HEH.
MUST BE AN ECHO IN HERE.
TIME FOR SOME MISCHIEF.
I JUST WISH I COULD MAKE
THIS DUMB STORY COME TRUE.
THAT WOULD BE A HOOT!
YOUR FIRST WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
WHO SAID THAT?
ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES.
HELLO, DEAR READERS.
I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT
A HORRIBLE MONSTER
THAT APPEARED
IN RIVERDALE TODAY.
MY OLD PAL JUGHEAD
WAS IN HIS FRONT YARD,
RELAXING IN A HAMMOCK.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
A HORRIFIC HOWL BELLOWED
FROM BENEATH THE STREETS!
GRR.
JUGHEAD FELL OUT
OF HIS HAMMOCK IN DISBELIEF.
WHOA! YAA!
OOF!
AAH!
FOR WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WAS
BEYOND HUMAN UNDERSTANDING.
GRR.
AAH!
THE HIDEOUS CREATURE
TORE ITS WAY UP
FROM THE DEPTHS BELOW,
AND TOWERED OVER JUGHEAD.
THE MONSTROUS REPTILE
HAD SABER-TOOTH FANGS,
DEADLY HORNS,
AND A NASTY RASH
ON HIS STOMACH.
[SCRATCHING]
JUGHEAD TRIED TO
HIDE BEHIND A TREE,
BUT THE CREATURE BLASTED HIM
WITH ITS FLAME-THROWER BREATH.
AAH!
THE TREE TRUNK SAVED
JUGHEAD'S LIFE...
BUT THE TURTLE HAD
ANOTHER TRICK UP ITS SHELL.
LASER BEAM EYES.
THERE WAS NOTHING
TO SAVE JUGHEAD NOW!
BUT THEN, SOMETHING
MIRACULOUS HAPPENED.
[JUGHEAD MOANS]
WHAT?
THE MONSTER SAW
A BIRD FLY BY.
FASCINATED, HE SPROUTED
JET ROCKETS AND TOOK OFF.
THE CREATURE
DISAPPEARED INTO SPACE,
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.
SO ENDS ANOTHER
WEIRD MYSTERY,
WHICH I SWEAR ON
A STACK OF BIBLES,
IS ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY TRUE.
EVEN THE RASH PART.
HONEST AND TRULY!
THE END.
WAIT UNTIL THE EDITOR
GETS HOLD OF THIS!
ARCHIE WILL BE
THE BIGGEST JOKE ON CAMPUS!
Editor: FLYING TURTLES
WITH LASER EYES?
YEP. TOTALLY
RIDICULOUS, RIGHT?
WRONG. IT'S TOTALLY
FABULOUS!
AN ACCURATE ACCOUNT
OF THE GIANT TURTLE
ATTACK!
HUH?
FOR ONCE, OUR SCHOOL
HAS AN EXCLUSIVE STORY!
CYNTHIA KIM
HAS SCOOPED
THE CITY NEWSPAPER.
ARE YOU NUTS?
THIS IS ALL MAKE-BELIEVE.
FLAME BREATH,
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
BUT THOSE ARE
THE VERY THINGS
THAT JUGHEAD KEEPS
MUMBLING ABOUT.
WHAT?
BIG TEETH, ROCKET PACKS,
UH, HORNS,
LASERS, IN HAMMOCK,
HUGE TURTLE...
SEE, THOSE
RANDOM DETAILS
ALL MAKE SENSE
AFTER READING
ARCHIE'S FANTASTIC
ARTICLE.
NO, NO. YOU GOT IT WRONG.
I WROTE THAT ARTICLE,
NOT ARCHIE.
YOU?
YEAH. I SHOULD GET
ALL THE CREDIT.
THEN IT LOOKS LIKE
I'VE DISCOVERED
A HOT NEW
STAR REPORTER.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
WOW, REGGIE,
THAT ARTICLE
YOU WROTE YESTERDAY
IS FANTASTIC!
EVERYONE IN SCHOOL
IS TALKING ABOUT IT.
YEAH. IT'S MUCH BETTER
THAN ANYTHING I COULD'VE
COME UP WITH.
SHUCKS, GALS, IT WAS
NOTHING FOR A TALENTED
GENIUS LIKE ME.
THERE YOU ARE,
YOU SNAKE!
I WANT MY NEWSPAPER
COLUMN BACK!
WHAT?
YOU MEAN
REGGIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES?
THAT'S MY SERIES,
AND YOU KNOW IT!
YOU CAN HAVE IT, JUNIOR.
I'M THROUGH WITH THIS
2-BIT SCHOOL PAPER.
THIS MORNING,
THE RIVERDALE CITY GAZETTE
ASKED ME TO DO
A DAILY ARTICLE FOR THEM.
YOU GOT A JOB ON
A BIG CITY NEWSPAPER?
THAT'S BEEN MY DREAM.
WELL, DREAM ON,
LITTLE BROOMSTICK
COWBOY,
THE JOB IS MINE.
WELL, GOT TO GO REPORT ON
MY NEXT BRILLIANT ARTICLE.
HOLD ON!
HOW EXACTLY DID
YOU REPORT WITH
SUCH REALISM
WHEN YOU WEREN'T
EVEN THERE?
I DON'T KNOW, UH,
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
IF I SHOULD GIVE AWAY
MY REPORTING SECRETS.
WE GENIUSES HAVE TO
PROTECT OUR TALENT.
HUH?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
I WROTE ABOUT SOMETHING
I NEVER EVEN SAW!
HOW DID I DO THAT?
AM I PSYCHIC?
WHAT IF I CAN'T
DO IT AGAIN?
MARTIAN ATTACK U.S.A.
THAT'S IT! I'LL JUST STEAL
THIS SCIENCE FICTION IDEA.
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW,
AND I'LL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.
I ONLY WISH THIS STORY WOULD
BE AS GOOD AS THE LAST ONE.
YOUR SECOND WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
OK. HERE GOES.
IT WAS A SUNNY, BRIGHT DAY
AT RIVERDALE HIGH THIS MORNING.
WHEN SUDDENLY, DARK CLOUDS
BLOTTED OUT THE SUN.
THERE WAS SOMETHING
HIDING IN THOSE CLOUDS.
SOMETHING ALIEN.
IT WAS A MARTIAN SAUCER.
[SCREAMING]
THE ROUND, METALLIC SHIP
BEGAN FIRING A RAY-GUN
AT STUDENTS.
EVERYONE WAS PANICKED
UNTIL PRINCIPAL WEATHERBEE
SUDDENLY APPEARED
TO MAINTAIN ORDER.
ALIENS! DON'T PANIC.
HEAD FOR THE EXITS
IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.
BUT, SIR,
WE'RE OUTSIDE!
THEN, UH, HEAD
FOR THE ENTRANCES!
UNFORTUNATELY,
THE ALIENS DECIDED
TO ABDUCT THE PRINCIPAL
FOR THEIR FIENDISH EXPERIMENTS.
HELP! SOMEBODY
GET ME DOWN!
ARCHIE ANDREWS
TRIED TO HELP,
BUT AS USUAL,
HE WAS WORTHLESS.
OOF!
HELP! SOMEBODY
HELP ME!
IT LOOKED LIKE
THERE WAS ONLY ONE PERSON
MAN ENOUGH TO HANDLE
THIS SITUATION:
REGGIE MANTLE.
THROWING HIS OWN SHOE,
HE MANAGED TO HIT
THE ONLY VULNERABLE PART
OF THE SAUCER.
[SCREAMING]
HOLY SMOKE!
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!
MUST THROW SHOE!
HELP! SOMEONE
PLEASE HELP ME!
HELP!
YAA!
THE SHIP WAS SEVERELY DAMAGED
BY REGGIE'S HEROIC ACT,
AND IT LET GO
OF PRINCIPAL WEATHERBEE.
RETREATING TO MARS,
THE SHIP LEFT RIVERDALE
FOR GOOD.
THE SUNNY DAY RETURNED,
AND EVERYONE CONGRATULATED
REGGIE MANTLE.
THE END.
THIS BOY IS A HERO!
I PROCLAIM TODAY
REGGIE MANTLE DAY!
NO SCHOOL!
[CHEERING]
YOU OK?
NO. THERE'S
SOMETHING WEIRD
ABOUT REGGIE'S
STORIES.
IN FACT, I'D CALL IT
A WEIRD MYSTERY.
HOW'D I KNOW YOU WERE
GOING TO SAY THAT?
DR. BEAUMONT?
HELLO!
[MUMBLING]
EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR,
BUT I WAS WONDERING
IF WE COULD
PICK YOUR BRAIN
FOR A BIT.
HELLO?
YOU IN THERE?
SPEAK UP!
I DON'T THINK THERE'S
A BRAIN THERE TO PICK.
SHH!
UH, DOCTOR,
WHAT'S WRONG?
IT GOT OUT!
WHAT GOT OUT?
THE GENIE FROM
THIS BOTTLE.
HE GOT OUT
THROUGH THIS CRACK.
TALK ABOUT CRACKED.
ARE YOU SERIOUS,
DOC? A REAL GENIE?
OH, YES. VERY POWERFUL.
VERY EVIL.
BUT HE'S STILL
HERE IN MY STORE!
GENIES MUST HIDE
INSIDE AN OBJECT,
USUALLY A BOTTLE.
UNTIL THEY CAN GRANT
SOMEONE 3 WISHES.
SO IT HASN'T BEEN
FREED YET.
NO. AS SOON AS
I DISCOVERED THE CRACK,
I SHUT THE PLACE DOWN.
NOTHING HAS LEFT THIS STORE
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS.
[GULPS] EXCEPT
A LAPTOP COMPUTER!
MY GOODNESS, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU WERE HERE THAT DAY.
THE GENIE MUST BE
IN YOUR LAPTOP!
OF COURSE!
NO WONDER
REGGIE'S 2 STORIES
WERE SO ACCURATE!
HE WROTE THEM
AND THE GENIE
MADE THEM COME TRUE.
TWO?
QUICK, YOU'VE GOT
TO FIND THIS FELLOW
AND STOP HIM FROM MAKING
THAT THIRD WISH!
OTHERWISE,
RIVERDALE IS DOOMED!
WE HAVE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO HONOR REGGIE MANTLE,
THE STUDENT WHO
SAVED MY LIFE.
[CROWD CHEERS]
STOP, STOP.
YOU'RE GIVING ME
TOO MUCH CREDIT.
IT WASN'T ME
WHO SAVED YOU.
Mr. Weatherbee:
IT WASN'T?
NO. IT WAS MY NEW
MENTAL ABILITY
TO MAKE THINGS
HAPPEN.
I SIMPLY WISH THINGS
INTO EXISTENCE.
HA HA HA!
WHAT A KIDDER,
HA HA HA!
NO. IT'S TRUE!
I CREATED
THE FLYING SAUCER
AND THE GIANT TURTLE
WITH THESE
TALENTED FINGERS.
[GIGGLE]
ALL RIGHT, THEN I'LL
JUST HAVE TO PROVE
TO YOU BUMPKINS
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
THAT I'M
THE GREATEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED
TO RIVERDALE.
Both: HUH?
WHATEVER I TYPE
WILL COME TRUE.
REGGIE MANTLE
WISHES IT SO.
Genie: YOUR THIRD WISH
HAS BEEN GRANTED.
IT WAS
REGGIE MANTLE DAY
AT RIVERDALE HIGH,
AND EVERYONE
HAD TURNED OUT
TO HONOR HIM.
WHEN SUDDENLY,
THE FOOTBALL FIELD
TURNED
BRIGHT ORANGE.
Students: OH, WOW!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
HOW DID HE
DO THAT?
THE ENTIRE TOWN
WAS SO AMAZED
BY REGGIE'S MENTAL
ABILITIES,
THAT THEY GAVE HIM
A SPORTS CAR
AND A PILE OF MONEY.
GOOD HEAVENS!
HE CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
THEN, BETTY
AND VERONICA
SHOWED EVERYONE
HOW MUCH THEY ADORED
THE AMAZING REGGIE.
WHAT IS HE
TALKING ABOUT?
I DON'T
ADORE HIM.
Both: MWA!
YUCK!
UHH!
REGGIE,
DON'T DO IT!
REGGIE FINALLY
PROVED ONCE
AND FOR ALL,
THAT HE DESERVES
ALL THE CREDIT
FOR EVERY AMAZING
THING THAT EVER
HAPPENED.
THE END.
I HAVE GRANTED 3 WISHES,
AND NOW, I AM FREE!
[CROWD CHEERS]
MWA! MWA!
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
THEY LIKE ME!
THEY REALLY,
REALLY LIKE ME!
Students:
OOH, WHAT IS THAT?HUH?
AFTER 700 YEARS,
AT LAST I AM FREE!
[SCREAMING]
AAH!
OH, NO, JUGHEAD,
WE'RE TOO LATE!
WHAT IS
THAT THING?
BAD NEWS!
[MURMURING]
I'VE BEEN COOPED UP
FAR TOO LONG.
IT'S TIME TO
HAVE SOME FUN!
HOW ABOUT A BARBEQUE?
AHH, THIS ONE
LOOKS TASTY.
NO!
AAH! PLEASE, NO!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
HELP!
YES. HE'LL
DO NICELY.
HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!
HMM. NOW WHO'D MAKE
A GOOD APPETIZER?
RUN, EVERYBODY!
NO!
NO! PUT ME DOWN!
NOW I KNOW WHAT
A FLAME-BROILED BURGER
MUST FEEL LIKE!
HELP!
REGGIE,
DO SOMETHING!
YOU CAN MAKE THINGS
HAPPEN, REMEMBER?
THAT'S RIGHT!
REGGIE MANTLE HAS POWER.
HE CAN DO ANYTHING.
YES, SAVE US,
REGGIE.
WE BELIEVE IN YOU.
NOBODY KNEW WHERE
THE GENIE HAD COME FROM,
BUT REGGIE MANTLE MADE
THE BRUTE DISAPPEAR
WITH A WAVE OF
HIS MIGHTY HAND.
BE GONE!
SCRAM! VAMOOSE!
GO! VANISH!
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY POWER, RUNT.
IT WAS ALL ME!
HOW DARE YOU TAKE
CREDIT FOR MY DEEDS!
I'M THE ONE WHO
CAN CREATE THINGS,
AND I'M THE ONE
WHO CAN TAKE THEM AWAY.
[ALL GASP]
MAMA!
I'M TOO GORGEOUS TO DIE!
ARCHIE, THINK
OF SOMETHING!
YO, GREEN BOY,
DOWN HERE!
AH, THE LOUD-MOUTHED ONE
WITH THE RED HAIR!
YOU SHALL BE
MY NEXT VICTIM!
YEAH, YEAH.
REAL SCARY.
BUT FIRST
I'VE GOT TO
ASK YOU SOMETHING.
ASK QUICKLY,
GREASE SPOT!
OK. AREN'T YOU
ACTING KIND OF
LIKE REGGIE HERE?
I MEAN, YOU'RE
TAKING CREDIT
FOR ALL THIS
MAGICAL STUFF,
BUT HOW DO I KNOW
YOU REALLY HAVE
ANY POWER?
REGGIE DIDN'T.
PST! LEAVE ME
OUT OF IT!
OF COURSE I HAVE
THE POWER!
PROVE IT!GLADLY!
GIVE ME
AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK.
WELL,
HERE'S THE MOST
IMPOSSIBLE THING
ON THIS PLANET.
GETTING KETCHUP
OUT OF A NEW BOTTLE.
CHILD'S PLAY!
HA HA HA!
SHAKING THE BOTTLE
DOES NO GOOD.
IT MUST BE PUSHED OUT.
AND WHEN I AM DONE,
I WILL DESTROY YOU
FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!
SEE HOW EASILY
I ACCOMPLISH THIS!
Students: WOW,
THAT'S AMAZING!
GOT HIM!
Genie:
LET ME OUT!
I MEAN IT!
I AM ALL-POWERFUL!
PLEASE?
SORRY. I'M GIVING
THIS BOTTLE
TO DR. BEAUMONT
SO HE CAN
GUARD IT FOREVER.
Genie: NO!Girls: ARCHIE DID IT!
NO. I DID IT!
IF I HADN'T FREED
THE GENIE,
THERE WOULD
NEVER HAVE BEEN
A KETCHUP BOTTLE
THERE FOR
ARCHIE TO USE!
HEY, I THOUGHT
YOU ADORED ME!
Archie: AND SO, THE GENIE
WAS LOCKED AWAY
IN A KETCHUP BOTTLE,
AND RIVERDALE WAS
SPARED FROM DESTRUCTION.
EVERYTHING'S PRETTY MUCH
BACK TO NORMAL.
MY FINGERS HAVE HEALED,
AND I'M ABLE TO TYPE
MY NEWSPAPER ARTICLES AGAIN.
BUT POOR JUGHEAD
WAS SO FREAKED OUT,
HE DIDN'T EAT HAMBURGERS
FOR A WHOLE DAY!
AND REGGIE LEARNED
HOW DANGEROUS IT IS
TO TAKE CREDIT FOR
SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO.
AND UNTIL
THE GRASS GROWS OUT,
THE ONLY PLACE
YOU CAN FIND
AN ORANGE FOOTBALL FIELD
IS IN...
A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.