Aquí no hay quien viva (2003–2006): Season 1, Episode 16 - Érase una Nochebuena - full transcript
Yeah, hey Mum, what are you gonna do on Christmas Eve?
Can I come have dinner with you?
What do you mean no?
So what if I remind you of dad?
Oh, you're with your boyfriend. Look mum, I think what you're doing is disgusting
Dad's in a terrible state, just so you know
God, there were so many people in that queue to buy shrimps
Yeah but wait till your sister sees them
it'll be worth queuing up just to see her face
Oh look, Emilio's talking on his mobile
What's the big deal?
I'd never seen it before, I thought it was one of those toy phones
Ok mum, fine! Bye!
Emilio! What's happened to the tree?
What does it look like? Someone's been nicking the decorations
This takes the biscuit!
I put a tree up in the hallway to make it look pleasing on the eye and the neighbours steal the balls!
What do you expect, Juan? They've got no class
This isn't our place, I've told you a thousand times
Let's hope we win the lottery tomorrow so we can get out of here!
Aragon and Legolas were fighting against the orcs in Helm's Deep
and then Gandalf showed up with the Rohirrim
and Frodo's got the ring of power which is taking control of him because...
Yeah, yeah, honey, but I wanna watch a Danish film
about a couple who go through a crisis because they lose their child
Ok fine, and instead of popcorn, we'll buy antidepressants. No way, Lucía!
Hey Lucía, you 2 haven't paid your share of the Christmas Lottery
What share?
Here every year we buy one lottery ticket between all the neighbours
You split the cost of 1 ticket?
- Yeah - Talk about breaking the bank
We've been playing the same number for 12 years now. It's a tradition in our community
And there's another tradition which is that we never win anything
Ok well thanks a lot but we've already got our own lottery tickets
Ah well if our number comes up, don't come moaning to us afterwards
Let it go, Juan. More money for us
Emilio, this year I've got a hunch
Well you should get that checked
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Every day's the same
and I couldn't imagine it when I came to this place
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a riot
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
The house is falling down on me
and the caretaker's nowhere to be seen
The neighbours watch my every move
I can't take this place
Put together and give a good shake
a volcano and an earthquake
and you'll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Look Belén, I hate to pester you
but I don't get why you don't wanna come live with me
I can't stand being told no, it's a problem I've had ever since I was young
But it's not a no, it's a we'll see
Ah now I get why you don't wanna come
Now I know what's wrong
Really?
Sure, don't worry, we'll hire a cleaner
Oh no, it's not that
Well a live-in couple then
No! The thing is we've only been dating 3 weeks, that's barely any time
Well are you at least gonna have dinner with me on Christmas Eve?
Of course, silly!
Brilliant! My parents can't wait to meet you
What, are we having dinner with your parents?
Of course! But don't worry, relax
I'll buy them something from you
Ok
You'll love my mum
Well well well, Belen's gonna come out in society
Have you thought about selling the exclusive?
Alicia, jealousy's really bad for your skin
That's true, the jealousy's eating away at me from the inside
I'll be bored out my wits at a party surrounded by football players
while you're having the time of your life meeting your in-laws
I don't know if I'll be able to stand it
Who knows know what I'm gonna wear cos I haven't got anything
If you were slimmer and a bit taller, I could lend you something
No thanks, the idea is to create a good impression
That girl's so stressed lately
Belén, think about it, look within
Why can't we be together?
Oh Emilio, you're so infuriating! Well because I want a normal boyfriend
Oh look I'm off because Carlos is here now
Hi honey!
Hey be careful babe, don't put your feet on the mats
Stop right there! Where are you going?
You there, driver's licence and vehicle registration!
Oh look, sorry but I left them in my dad's mansion
Right well, since you think you're so smart, we're gonna crucify you
Come on, come with me
Emilio! I've seen the light! I love you!
Really? Alright then, let's go to the olive tree orchard
Hang on, I'll take this hen to make some broth
Shut the fuck up!
Come on, get in
Oh look! The Cuesta's
Emilio, you can't have that car! YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT CAR!
Oh God, Paloma, what a mess!
Right let's go!
Bye Mr and Mrs Cuesta
Son, what are you playing at?
Nothing, just setting up the Christmas crib
I told your mother not to get those x-rays done while she was pregnant
Oh well, I'm off for a walk. See you later
Hey dad, what do you want for dinner on Christmas Eve?
Oh, are we spending Christmas Eve together then?
Well if you're living here, the least we can do is have dinner together
I don't know about that
Check out what's coming this way
How lovely you look this morning
Thanks a lot
No, I meant your sister
Well may the Lord preserve your hearing for you because your eyesight's long gone
I'm being serious, Marisa!
Don't keep pestering us! We're not gonna buy any books, thank you very much
I love it when they play hard to get
Dad, leave the neighbour alone, you're putting me in a difficult position!
Mark my words, I'll be spending Christmas Eve with her
What, are you gonna leave me on my own?
Son, no-one's on their own anymore now that TV's been invented
Right, I'm off to stretch my legs
Well I'm gonna make my own plans and don't come crying to me later if they let you down
Get a life!
What a disgrace!
Did you notice that Emilio's dad is flirting with me?
What a disgrace! Who does that man think he is?
Let him, I like it. It's been so long since someone tried to pick me up
- Marisa - What?
You wouldn't be planning on getting involved with Emilio's dad, would you?
No no no, no way
Well yeah maybe
Are you out of your mind?
Well, how does it look on me?
You look stunning, it's like it was made to measure for you
No Clara, what I meant to say was...
it doesn't matter, your time will come, marrying's not that important anyway
It's fine, I'm over it now
My psychologist said so
That woman's really good, you know
She helped dad a lot with his divorce
Look he's no Sean Connery but I can't afford to be picky at my time of life
That man must be at least 10 years younger than you
The thing is I can't find guys 10 years older than me anymore
For your information, I think
it's terribly wrong of you to fool around with that man who's not even our neighbour
It's not my fault men want me!
Don't talk nonsense!
Keep in mind that I've still got the same body I had when I was 15
How many other women can say the same?
Marisa, let me remind you that you're still a married woman
No-one's perfect!
Mum, don't get in a state about it, get him something original
Right, some aftershave, bye
No honey, wait there!
What's wrong?
My sister's trying on my wedding dress
So what?
It's bad luck if you see it before the wedding
Alright now! Hi honey!
What's she doing with your dress on? Is she a masochist or what?
It's therapy! Her psychologist wants to her to confront her traumas
Drop it. The less I know, the better
Listen, I just confirmed with my mum about us going to hers Christmas Eve
What but we're going to my parents' house!
No, that's on New Year's Eve
No, it's on Christmas Eve. On New Year's Eve my mum's going to the concert
I've told you that a thousand times!
Shit Lucía, but I'm an only child!
If I tell my mum we're not going there, she'll come down with depression
Have you got any idea what it's like to have dinner on your own with my dad and my gran?
No! But it's the only night I get to see my parents together
Well what do you want me to do about it?
I've got an idea!
Why not call them and arrange for everyone to have dinner here?
You're about to get married and your parents still haven't met each other
What better time to do it than on Christmas Eve?
Look sorry, this is a boyfriend-girlfriend conversation
That's a great idea, we could have a little dinner party here
I don't know, I don't agree
Parents are like alcohol: mixing not's a good idea
But they'll have to meet sometime, surely
What's the point, they're gonna meet in the church, anyway!
Let's arrange it! You call mum and I'll call dad, ok?
Ok! What shall we make for dinner?
Oh hang on, I've got some cookery books here somewhere...
Having your views taken on board is what I like best about being in a relationship
What's he done with it?
Someone must be keeping it for him
Hey, how was the gym?
Good, what are you up to?
Nothing, just having a bit of a tidy up
No way! Seriously! You were looking for your Christmas present
No, I wasn't, I was just...
Ok fine! I was looking for it, so what? Every year I find it
It's a personal thing
But there's only 2 days left till Christmas Eve!
I can't take this, I've had a bad week, I'm stressed
I'll give you your one now, hang on
No! I don't want you to give me it yet!
Haven't you bought me anything?
Sure! You're leaving it till the last minute because you've got no idea what to get me
Mauri, I've had it forever
and all I can tell is you're gonna totally freak out!
Fine, you're right, what's the big rush?
I can wait without any problem
Great
Mauri, my bag!
I wasn't going through your bag, you smart ass!
You can't go off skiing on Christmas Eve! We're having dinner as a family
That's why I'm going
Well sorry but we don't have any money
No, I've got money already and I wasn't asking permission, I was just telling you
Come on, you can't leave me here my own with all this shit!
Natalia, if you do go, I want a list of the names and telephone numbers of your companions
Right sure, with their ID and police records
What do you mean police records?
Look, let her do what she likes but let me listen to the lottery numbers!
Wow, the third prize has come out really fast
seventeen thousand two hundred...
Juan! Juan!
What is it?
Come here! Come here!
What?
The number for the community has won the third prize!
I knew it, I knew it!
I told you I had a hunch! I'll go get the cider
Shhh! The kids will hear you
and we won't tell them till after Christmas
Third prize! 48,000 euros, oh my God!
What a party we're gonna throw with all the neighbours!
What neighbours, Juan? That money's for us, for the house in the country
But we gave them a share in the ticket
Yeah, nothing was signed, though, and who bought this ticket?
We did. So the prize is ours
What would you rather have? 8 million pesetas or 2 million?
Well, 8 obviously but the thing is it's wrong
No, what's wrong is that an upright, hardworking family like ours can't move to a house in the country
That's what's really wrong, Juan
Anyway, I bet they'll never even find out their number came up
Millionaires! Millionaires! Olé, olé, olé!
I'm gonna buy myself such an expensive fur coat!
Mum, put that down or your blood sugar level will go through the roof
Come on, show a bit of respect, this will have to be cleaned up later
Emilio, we've won the lottery!
I always said to his mother: "one day this boy will do great things"
Don't get things out of perspective, it's only 2 million pesetas per flat
Fernando, we never win anything, live a little!
I'm gonna get a convertible like the one Belén's boyfriend's got
Well they cost 8 million pesetas
Well I'll give them my scooter in part exchange then
What was it you said about them never finding out?
Yeah, wait, I'll have to think of something
Here come the ticket holders!
We wanna see it, we wanna see it!
Por consiguiente, Juan Cuesta presidente! POR CONSIGUIENTE, JUAN CUESTA PRESIDENTE!
Thank you very much you! Thank you, thank you
It fills me with pride and satisfaction to see that at such a special time of year
lady luck has smiled down upon our building
This prize represents a reward for all of us
after a year of intense communal living, and I must add that...
Stop waffling on and go get the money!
Get the money, get the money!
Alright, alright! I'll go at once
We're rich, señor Juan!
You've finally done something right, buddy!
Hey, don't push!
I'm quite moved, this is the first outpouring of love from the masses I've had
Wait Juan, what are you gonna do cos that money's ours
Drop it now, I'll do what has to be done. I'll be right back
Think Juan! Think!
2 tons for each of them, Paquito! Tax free!
Shit, and I didn't buy a share, it's like money runs away from me
How could I be so dumb!
It's genetic! Look on the bright side
Money runs away from you but it'll come back with what we spend in your video store
Go on, give me one of those cases for my phone
Hey, what are you doing for Christmas Eve?
because with the prize money we could treat ourselves to a nice meal at a fancy restaurant
No way, man, I'm spending it with the family
my parents are being so annoying about it even though I saw them last year!
Don't say that, it's lovely to see all the family together
Oh God! Mum, is it really necessary for gran to come?
No, don't make stuffed avocado, we've already got tons of food, dammit
Oh, it's overdue: fine!
Ok, I'll call you later
Oh my God, I've got a madhouse awaiting me
Hey Roberto, what are you and Lucía gonna do on Christmas Eve?
cos if you're eating by yourselves, I could drop by, right?
By ourselves! I've got my mum, dad, gran, Lucía's parents, and her sister all coming round
And as if that wasn't enough, they've never even met before!
A blind family date, how lovely!
There's not enough space, I dunno where we're gonna eat!
Shit, they're gonna shut the supermarket, see you around
Bye, happy holidays!
He's got a girlfriend, a family that loves him and he still moans!
What's wrong, have you been left in the lurch for Christmas Eve?
No no, I'm just weighing up different options
Why don't you ask Belén out? She might not have plans either
No Paquito! I did enough crawling when I did my military service, dammit
Wait a second! Don't shout at me because I'm not my husband!
Where did he go to collect the money from and why's he taking so long?
Have you called him on his mobile?
He left it at home
What's he got it for then?
He's bought himself a wig and by now he's half way to Brazil
What are you going on about?
Your husband's left you and gone off with our money
My Juan would never do something like that to me
Well he wouldn't be the first, this happens loads
people are always disappearing with the prize money
Something must have happened to him, we should call the hospital
Right, to book a bed for him because he's gonna need one!
You've made the poor man's life a misery, you can see it in his face!
And now with a third child on the way! Like that's not enough to take off
Come on, show a bit of compassion, you're crucifying the poor woman
Señor Cuesta's an honest man, he'd never do something like that to us
Also, he loves me and he hasn't gone anywhere with the money!
Right, you, lawyer, what can we do?
Well the standard procedure in these cases is to report it to the police
but I'd give Juan the benefit of the doubt
Everyone to the police station!
Is it true dad's got tired of us and taken off?
He must have a lover then because he'd never think of doing that on his own
Look, your father loves us all lots and he'll turn up
Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?
But he can't have gone! He still hasn't finished that model he was making
Look, here he is
Good evening neighbours
Where's our money!
Please Marisa! Can't you see he's injured?
Where's our money! Tell us! Tell us!
I'll explain if you'll just give me a second
I'm sorry but I got mugged on leaving the bank
Oh Juan! Are you alright? What happened?
What do you mean you were mugged?
Yeah, they were waiting for me
A couple of men came up and hit me from behind
You should have gone with someone else
See, he hadn't taken off! Peasants! Scum!
I tried to defend myself but the fact they outnumbered me
added to the element of surprise, proved decisive
I shouted for help but all I succeeded in doing
was getting some Japanese people to take pictures of me on the ground
I don't believe a word of it!
But why didn't you call someone?
I tried to phone my house but I couldn't get through
I told that girl to hang up the phone!
I was under observation at the hospital because the blow to the head was brutal
Then the police arrived to deal with the complaint
According to them, it was an organised gang
Sorry, if you don't mind, I need to lie down because I'm feeling a little lightheaded
Of course Juan, let's go home, come on
You lot ought to be hanging your heads in shame!
How could you doubt my husband after all he's sacrificed for this community?
I'm really sorry, I apologise to all of you
Sorry for what? You could have lost your life for them, for goodness sake!
Did anyone swallow any of that?
Well, the police report seems genuine
So does the wound to the head
Those 2 need to be watched closely, mark my words
You're much too trusting, Juan
there are lots of people out there who aren't like us
I wasn't mugged, Paloma
What!
I faked it all, look, I never even collected the money
I fooled them all
Don't ever do that to me again, darling! Because I was so worried
Honey, I didn't say anything to you so your reaction would be more natural if the neighbours asked you
What about the wound to the head?
I did it to myself
to make it more believable
I smacked my head against a bin
Whoa! In that case you'll need to put anti-tetanus on it, I'll go to the chemist's for some
No, there's no need
What's wrong dad, weren't there any tickets for Brazil?
Your father's been mugged. Come on, get off to bed!
And he keeps going on about me having to learn taikwondo!
Oh Juan, I'm so proud of you because you listened to me
Yeah but I feel bad, Paloma. It's the Christmas lottery
We're toying with the dreams of our fellow neighbours
No Juan, you did the right thing!
What's the most important thing in life? - Family!
Well you're fighting for your family and what's done is done
now you'll just have to grin and bear it
Ok, but we need to avoid arousing suspicion
What we need to do now is to keep the lottery ticket safe
and above all not do any excessive spending in the next few days
Sure sweetheart, give me a kiss
5 of the 8 million will go towards the country house
What about the other 3?
To pay bills, Juan, to pay bills
I don't know what to give your daughter this year
Give her a phone and see if she calls us up one of these days
How about inviting her to come here for the holiday?
Yeah right!
Emilio, is your dad there?
What's he done now?
Nothing! I just wanna talk to him
Oh ok, I'll call him
Marisa, what are you gonna do? No self-respecting woman ever chases after a man
She has to let him make the first move
That explains your life story but relax
I'm just gonna drop a hint or two
Hello Marisa
Hello
Look here, are you looking for a fling or not?
I'm like the ads, in search of friendship and whatever it leads to
Mostly what it leads to
Well, why don't you take me out somewhere then? Woo me a bit!
How about going to the cinema this afternoon?
It's a deal! I'll be ready at 6. If you're late, I'll take off
How can you be so shameless?
Because you kept all the shame for yourself
Emilio, it's in the bag
Look dad, this is getting out of hand
Do you know what you're getting yourself into?
Sure I do, for fuck's sake!
Hey, lend me some money for the cinema because I'm skint
Shit, don't be back home late!
Here, take that
Hey, give me my 10 euros!
Hello
You've got it, right? Is it here?
What?
Don't play dumb! Fernando gave you my present to look after, right?
No, he hasn't gave me anything
You're a terrible liar, Armando, hence why you're divorced
Hang on a second
I knew it, I knew it!
Look, he gave me this but don't say anything to him, ok?
The shoes we saw in the shop window, what an idiot!
Don't open it, man!
It's alright, you can change the sellotape later
God, what are these hideous things!
Well, they look nice and warm
In the bank they give away similar ones for opening a pension account
But he goes and gets me slippers to wear around the house
and there was me thinking I'd hit rock bottom with that set of towels with my initials on
Hey if you don't want them, let me have them and I'll give them to my mum
God, they're hideous!
These gays don't like anything that's not designer label
You can't open their bank statements! That's a criminal offence
Only if they catch you
Emilio, give us those letters right now
Sorry but those letters belong to the Cuesta's and they're going in the letter box
and that's final
We'll see about that!
What are you doing!
Right, sorted! Now we'll see how much money they've got
Give me that letter! Don't open it!
Good morning
Well, anyone still harbouring any doubts?
Ok, now let's each of us calmly open a letter
Fuck, these guys are even more skint than us
Maybe they collected the money and hid it in their house
We can't look for it because there's always someone there
Let's arrange a neighbours' meeting!
This guy's sure got brains. And they say university's good for nothing in life
Look Juan, check out my dress!
I'll wear this tomorrow for the dinner
And look at all this delicious food I bought!
Paloma, we can't spend that kind of money, they're gonna get wind of what we're up to
But everyone buys stuff at this time of year
Plus, I still haven't collected the money
Well get to it because you don't wanna know how much the trip I just put on our credit card cost!
Shit! I thought we were short of money
Not were, ARE! We ARE short
The thing is your mother's been possessed by the Christmas spirit
Where have you come from!
I just got up early to go do a few things
That girl's just come home now, she didn't sleep here
Yeah well that's a lost cause
Let's focus on what we need to focus on
Hello, I've come to lodge a formal complaint against Emilio
because his dad's living in the caretaker's flat
Yes, I am aware of that but as it's Christmas, I didn't want to...
I'm very sorry but he can't stay there
He's harassing both my sister and me
That man's a pervert
Ah! If he's a pervert, then that's a different matter
I'll talk to Emilio
Nobody's mad enough to harass those 2!
Except maybe to nick their handbags
My dad's at the cinema and I'm here mopping the floor. Seriously, what a fucked up world
Alright Emilio
Hey Alicia, what are you girls gonna do for Christmas Eve?
I'm going to a party, I've got a VIP pass
My sausage advertisment's opening all kinds of doors for me
Oh great, so Belèn will be at home by herself then
No, she's having dinner at Carlos's parents' house
What's wrong, are you on your own?
No, I was just curious
Christmas isn't that big a deal for me anyway...
Emilio!
Hello Alicia
Emilio, we need to talk about your father
I've turned a blind eye up until now but the neighbours have started to complain
He can't carry on living here
But I can't kick my own dad out on the street!
He's just split up from my mum and he's going through a terrible time
We're devastated
Did you like the film?
I didn't get any of it
Me neither!
Anyway, what do you go to the cinema for? To eat popcorn, right?
Hi son, I'm gonna take Marisa back to her house
Do you fancy a glass of chinchón?
I'll take her back and stay with her for a while
That skirt looks so good on you, baby!
Quiet, silly!
Yeah, you can certainly see he's suffering
No, don't believe that, later when he comes home, he goes to pieces
Oh, have they told you about the meeting yet?
What meeting?
The neighbours have convened an emergency meeting in your house
apparently, there's a serious problem with the building or something
Seriously, it's Christmas and they still won't leave me in peace!
Yeah right we're gonna leave you in peace...so you spend our money
Get outta here
Whoa! So many presents, you shouldn't have bothered, girl
This is such a nightmare! I've been shopping all day
I went to 12 stores, queued up to go in the fitting rooms
queued up at the checkouts, and now I get home and there's nothing I like
That's what you get for not taking other people's advice
Hey, did you know that poor Emilio's gonna spend Christmas Eve all on his own?
Well no, I didn't know that
but what I don't get is what you're telling me for
No, I was only mentioning it because I just spoke to him
Alicia, why are you always trying to make me feel guilty?
No I'm not
But if you feel guilty, that must be for a reason
Well sure, obviously it doesn't fill me joy to hear Emilio's spending Christmas Eve on his own
That's love for you
Leave me alone!
You have dinner with him!
Yeah right! So afterwards I'll have to put up with you being jealous
Alicia, you should make a career working for the gutter press
God how you love to piss people off!
I've changed the refreshments, today you'll get to try some excellent Iberian ham
Someone's really feeling generous this time round!
Just a little Christmas present!
Yeah but paid for with our money
I don't why we're having this meeting, it seems like a waste of time to me
Hey, you're being a bit rude today
I don't know why but I'm in a bad mood all of a sudden
these things sometimes happen at Christmas
What's wrong, didn't you like the slippers for wearing round the house?
No, I didn't
Loser! It was a trap
I knew you couldn't keep still, you're such an idiot
You and me will have words later!
Right, let's get this emergency meeting underway! It was requested as a matter of urgency by flat 1a
for a reason which I am unaware of and which I hope they will now explain to me
Vicenta, explain it to him
Oh yes! We've got a big wet patch in our kitchen ceiling
I think your washing machine's to blame, it must be leaking water somewhere
What! No way
I think you'd best go down and check it
I don't know, let's take a look
No Juan, my washing machine's not got a leak
it's not us, it must be coming from the snob's flat
Right, get on with it, search!
Where would you keep 8 million pesetas?
I wouldn't keep it! I'd spend it!
Look but in silence
Anal Festival, shit this is a porno film!
He's really something else that señor Cuesta!
Vicenta, that's not a wet patch, that's a chip in the wall
What you need to do is paint
Yes
Oh no, my sight's getting worse and worse every day. The optician changed my glasses
but when I put them on, I get dizzy
Now they say they could operate but I can't bring myself to do it
Right, let's get back upstairs
Wait!
My toilet's got a leak, could you have a look at that as well?
Sure and while we're at it, we'll wallpaper the walls for you
Call a plumber, madam
Shall I make you some coffee?
Have you found anything in the bedroom?
Some boxer shorts of Juan's which are cracking me up!
No, any money I mean!
No, no money
Hey, how come you're not looking?
This ham's so nice!
Let's try
Mauri, what did we come here for?
What the...have you lost something?
Why on earth are you turning our house upside down? Where are my parents?
They've gone downstairs to check a leak
Your parents have kept the money we won in the lottery and we're looking for it
What are you going on about! My dad was mugged!
What's going on here?
Nothing, they're saying you kept the lottery money
Come on, we're not back on that again, are we!
You can say what you like about our parents but they've never lied to us
and if my dad says he was mugged, that means he was mugged
Show a little respect for my parents, they're going through a really rough time
and they could never do such a disgraceful thing
They don't go around stealing money that doesn't belong to them
Paloma, I'm sorry but I can't carry on with this
The kids had to stick up for us
I know Juan, I know
How are we gonna tell them now that the neighbours were right?
and that their parents are a pair of crooks who've kept money that's not theirs?
When have we ever misled our kids?
Never, Juan, never
You and I are honest folk, Paloma. How did we come to this?
Well because we're human beings, Juan
Everything I did was for the baby growing inside me who deserves a better life
Look, look at this garden for him to play in
with a built-in barbeque and everything
Well if we can't get it, we can't get it
I know but the one time we win something, we have to share it!
and it's all the fault of that bald bloke in the ad who fills our heads with dreams
Tomorrow I'll go down to the bank, collect the money and share it out among the neighbours
which is what we should have done
We'll have to hang our heads in shame but we'll have a clear conscience
At least tomorrow's Christmas Eve and people don't get angry on Christmas Eve, do they?
I hope not
Dad, switch off the light, will you!
Wait a second, I'm about to make a phone call
To who?
Who do you think!
Really! What kind of person calls at this time?
It's for me, it's for me
- Yes? - Hello
Hi
I was just calling to wish you goodnight
Good night
See you tomorrow
Sleep well
Go on, hang up
- No you - No you first!
- No you - No, after you, baby!
Dad, come on, have a bit of self-respect, you're gonna come out in acne
Marisa, hang up the phone! You're just throwing money away
But he called me
Listen please, it's far too late for phone calls. Good night
You're jealous!
I'm worried about you, that's what I am
Relax! We're taking precautions
I'm being serious
Listen, tomorrow I want Mariano to come round for dinner
Oh no, that's all we need! Christmas is a family festival
I don't want any strangers here
Well if he doesn't come, I'm going somewhere else then
What! You can't leave me alone on Christmas Eve!
You won't be alone! Go and have dinner with cousin Carmen
Cousin Carmen died last year!
Oh yeah, that's true. Who was that I was talking to on the phone yesterday then?
Marisa, you're gonna have to choose: either your sister or that man
You're just like mum! For fuck's sake!
- Hey! - Hey
Well tell me, what's the plan for tonight?
To go out by ourselves because my sister's kinda stupid
You mean you're gonna ditch your sister on Christmas Eve to go out with a stranger?
That's it in a nutshell
Ok look, he can come for dinner
that way we can get to know each other better
Alright, but don't make yourself a nuisance because I know what you're like!
Great, I'll bring the wine
Make sure it's strong and after the second glass, she'll be out like a light
Bye beautiful!
Just for the record, I'm only doing this to spend Christmas as a family!
Thanks a lot, Vicenta! We're gonna have a great time, you'll see!
I'm just gonna ask you one question
Has he kissed you yet? Has there been any touching?
Who do you take me for!
I never do that kind of thing on the first date!
That's why I need a second one. I'll go decide what to wear tonight!
I knew Señor Juan couldn't have kept the money
He's a good person
Alright, we made a mistake, but it's only logical to think the worst in this place
Right then, any volunteers to apologise?
I'm no good at that
Why don't you do it? You're the lawyer
That's true, you must be used to making up excuses
It's the neighbours
Tell them everything, Juan, what we've done is so wrong
But you'll come out with me, right?
I can't, don't you know all the stuff I need to do?
Tonight's the dinner, I need to iron the table cloth
What a mess!
Hello Juan
Hello
Actually, I wanted to talk with all of you to apologise
No, please! We're the ones who need to make you the apology
for the way we've behaved about this business of the lottery
Yes, we're really sorry for thinking the worst of you without any evidence, right?
- Yes - Really?
Yes, it was irresponsible of us to let you go and collect the money on your own
You always take care of everything
Well, I appreciate your apology and I'd like to stress
that I will always be at our community's disposal
Anyway, who knows? The money might still turn up
No, it WILL turn up!
We're gonna catch those bastards who hit you and mugged you
We've got a video tape with footage of the robbery
What?
There's a branch of my bank just opposite the place where you were mugged
and the CCTV managed to capture everything
so I've been given the tape in case we want to take it to the police
Oh well give it to me and I'll take it to the police station
No, let's watch it! How exciting!
You can say that again, Mr President in action
Come on, let's go to my house
Let's go
You must be so brave! You stood up to them!
Yeah but I don't like to brag, it's just what anyone else would have done
Go on, put it on!
Also, reliving the experience could be traumatic for me
The psychologist said so
Well don't look then
Turn the volume up!
This doesn't have any sound, mum, it's CCTV
Yeah, you won't see anything. These recordings have terrible quality
Even if you do see someone on there, you won't be able to make out who it is
Look, there's señor Juan!
Let's see where the bad guys come from
What's he playing at!
No way!
Well at least the part about the Japanese was true
What a son of a...
He's gone!
After him!
Paloma, don't open the door to anyone! If the neigbhours ask
tell them I've gone for the money
and call my sister and tell her not to come for dinner!
I'm hanging up before I kill myself!
Juan! Hello?
Open the door! Scum!
He's just gone to collect the money, he'll give you your share in a minute
We're gonna phone the police
Don't bang on the door, you'll leave scratch marks on it!
Mum, what's going on?
The neighbours are harassing me and now your father says the family's not coming over
and I've already defrosted the shrimps!
I'm telling you I can't take any more of this!
Mum, don't get in a state, it's Christmas
Right let's see, the water's boiling, that's done
So is this. What do we do now?
Now we need to put the lobster in the water like spaghetti
They're alive, Clara, they're moving around!
Of course they're alive
why do you think you put them in boiling water?
Ok. Should I pick it up?
Obviously!
What are you playing at!
I dropped it!
Where's it gone?
In the living room
Quick, give me a knife and I'll finish it off!
No, I don't want you boiling that thing in my house
Shall we adopt it as a pet then?
Here
Shall we put a collar on it and call her Pinky?
Where is it?
Over there, it's slipped under the sofa
Shit, watch the door, it's just been put in!
Alright calm down, this thing's heavy
That's it, scratch the door again
Honey, you didn't buy folding chairs, did you?
Sure I did, how else were they gonna fit in the boot?
Look señora, where shall we put this?
Be careful!
You killed Pinky!
Right, in the saucepan you go then
Yes, I'm just bringing the money now, get them to calm down
I won't be a minute
- Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas
Hey wait, what about a little Christmas tip?
Oh sure, wait a second
Give me your wallet! Shout and I'll slice you apart!
Yeah, wait, you can have my wallet, here
What's in that envelope?
No! Not the envelope!
I'll give you my watch, it's great, Julio Iglesias advertises it
Give me the envelope for fuck's sake!
It's just family photos!
Let go of it or I'll stab you!
Come back! HELP! HELP!
What happened here? Why are you on the ground?
You're not gonna believe this, Emilio
A Father Christmas just mugged me here right outside the front door
He pulled out a knife and...
You're right, I don't believe it
Señor Juan, this thing with the lottery's messed with your head a bit, right?
No Emilio, dammit! I was gonna return the money
You're angry with me too, right?
Well so-so. I'm an employee so I try not to let it show
and don't tell you to go fuck yourself like they're doing upstairs
Oh God, how am I gonna explain this now?
If I were you, I'd run away. Don't you have any relatives in Latin America or something?
What a Christmas! What a Christmas!
He said he'd only be a minute so you'll just have to wait and that's that!
This family are so two-faced!
Look, here's Jesse James
Well, have you brought our money?
Yes, listen, I'll explain to you what happened in detail
All I ask of you is to keep calm
so I can...shut the door, Paloma!
What's happened now!
What's he playing at!
I can explain better from here
I was bringing the money back but right outside the door
I got mugged by a man dressed as Father Christmas
Sure you did! And he climbed on his reindeer and flew away, right?
Sure, the man's low on funds this year because all the kids have asked him for so much stuff
No, I swear on the life of my kids!
Look, you're lucky we're civilised people, otherwise we'd break your door down
Fuck it! Let's break it down!
Come on, seriously now, what are we gonna do?
The only thing we can do: go and file a complaint in court
They'll come down on you like a ton of bricks!
Dad, would you mind telling me what you're playing at?
That's not chewing gum, you know
Don't spoil the moment, Emilio, I'm excited. Precautions need to be put in place for tonight
But the only precautions you need to take at your time of life is to watch your cholesterol levels!
No, man, it's for you
You've ruined the surprise now
Oh well, take it and don't say I didn't give you anything for Christmas
Merry Christmas, give me a kiss, son
Merry Christmas Dad
Alright, alright, what's got into you, Dad? That's enough!
I didn't have to time to wrap it up
Well thanks a lot, dad, but the thing is I haven't got a girlfriend
Emilio, there's always hope for love at Christmas time
Hey, do you know how to use one of these?
Yeah, not because you explained it to me, though
cos you never sat me down and talked to me about that kinda stuff
Fuck, what do you think school's for?
You take her up while we find somewhere to park
Stay with your grandson for a minute, ok?
Alright Gran, how are you?
You're looking very well
Would you rather wait for them here or head upstairs?
Where have they brought me?
To my house, don't worry!
Maybe we'd best head up
Oh Roberto, happy Christmas
Happy Christmas
I'm going skiing, I can't be bothered to sit it out with the family
Great
I can see that's not your case, though
Look, it's not too late for you to come along
I'm cold!
We're going now, Gran!
Give me a kiss cos we won't see each other now until next year
Alright
Bye
She's a friend from the building
You don't need to say anything about that to anyone, Gran
Fuck!
Let's go
- Shit! Gran! - What?
Where are you going?
It's on the third floor! Don't touch the buttons, Gran!
Hi mum!
How are my little girls doing?
Hi darling
Give me your coat
Dad's over there
I suppose one has to say hello, right?
Mum!
I was joking
How are you, sweetheart?
Very well, and yourself?
Excellent
Hey, you're looking very nice, Isabel
Thank you, I invest your money well
Come on, don't you 2 start, save something for dessert, ok?
Come in! Don't worry, they'll be up in a second
Come in
Oh, you're already here!
Look Gran, I'll introduce you to Lucía's parents
Rafael, Isabel, and...hey!
Someone's hungry
No, she's just used to having an early dinner
Hello! Is this the Christmas Eve dinner party?
Yeah mum, come in
I've brought stuffed avocado
Teresa!
You look lovely, Lucía!
Thanks a lot, let me introduce you to my parents
I've been so looking forward to meeting you
We were just saying that in the car, weren't we, Antonio?
Well to be honest, she was talking and I was listening to the radio
My husband's such a joker, you'll soon see what he's like!
Yes, here we are at long last, all the family together
because all the signs suggest that we're going to become family
Yeah
Where's the remote for the TV?
No Dad, we're gonna eat now
Well
Isn't this nice?
Yeah
Shall we have dinner?
Yeah
Ok
I'm going upstairs, son, wish me luck
Dad, can't I come have dinner with you guys?
No way! It's a romantic evening!
Two's company, three's a crowd
But Vicenta will be there as well, won't she?
We're gonna get rid of her, it's all been taken care of
Right then, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
See you later
Don't drink too much cos you get really annoying
Move in for the kill!
Hey Emilio
Hey
Erm...happy Christmas
Same to you. You look nice
You're like a different person when you get dressed up
I guess that was meant to be a compliment, right?
Sure
Look...Alicia told me you're not doing anything tonight and you're gonna have dinner on your own
Who me? No, come off it! It turns out I'm going out with some mates, after all
to a party that...that's gonna be great
Erm...I've already got the tickets
Right
God, you look amazing, sweetheart
Yeah, I already told her that before
Shall we go?
Yeah, let's go
Oh, happy Christmas, Emilio
- Screw you! - What?
No, same to you. Enjoy yourself with your family at this special time
Look, have a little Christmas tip so you can buy yourself a little something
100 euros
Come on, hurry up, Mum doesn't like being made to wait
May God reward you with a decent investigation into your taxes
Well...have a nice time
You too
Thanks
You're definitely going to a party, right?
Yeah, go on, get outta here, don't be annoying!
Bye!
Crook!
Give us our money, you bastard!
Paloma, turn up the carols
Don't worry, Juan, let's just mind our own business, they'll get tired of it soon enough
And you, eat more lobster!
I don't want any more
Oh, I'm gonna have so much food left over!
I don't know why we told your sister not to come
Because I knew what kind of spectacle would be waiting for her
Fraudster!
I haven't got the money!
Look, we're gonna have to leave the house sometime
The internet's working, isn't it? Well we'll get the shopping delivered
Oh, the king's speech! I'll put the TV on
so you can get some ideas cos you're gonna need them
What a depressing Christmas Eve!
No Juan, I bet there are other people having a much worse time than us
Merry Christmas to everyone and a big hug to all
the families who are celebrating Christmas with us
Let the party begin and everybody dance!
I'm an honest lady and I like to be up front and tell it like it is
and I don't think your relationship can work
That's it, I've said it now
Come on, a toast for how rude my sister is
Cheers!
Men have always come after us for our money
Sure, they see the luxury that surrounds us and say "Let's go get the Kennedys!"
Hey, are you trying to tell me something?
Yes I am! You've got no house and no job, and that's very suspicious
I've got a job and I had a house until my wife kicked me out
That's another thing, you're married as well!
Yes ma'am, 38 years of marriage
but the real relationship only lasted 3!
That was when we had Emilio and obviously no marriage could have resisted that
Well I don't know if my sister's told you this but she's married too
That's true! I'm married too!
I put all the bad stuff in the back of my mind so quickly
Yeah she might seem nice now but watch out because Marisa's really difficult to live with!
You've no idea the mood swings she has
and she snores so loudly! That's because she won't give up the fags
Go on, drink up!
No, I've already had one glass and that's enough for me
Go on, drink, it's Christmas Eve, dammit! It'll be good for you
I just can't believe
what people are capable of doing for 8 rotten million
Well we did what we needed to do: we reported it
now let's try and enjoy our Christmas Eve
That's another thing I don't get!
Why did you insist on not inviting anyone round?
Mauri, I wanted a romantic supper
I've got a lovely present to give you
Not that present again! It's such torture, just give it to me now!
No, I can't, there's absolutely no way I can give it to you before midnight
But that's an hour and a half away, don't be mean!
Hey, this caviar sub tastes amazing, you know that
Is that so? Well your present's a sweater and screw you!
Merry Christmas, Mauri
Merry Christmas, Fernando
Oh I'm so excited!
Oh you're such an idiot!
Emilio? Emilio?
Belén!
Stop, stop, stop!
What do you think you're doing?
I don't know, what are you doing?
I've come to have dinner with you but as a friend!
Shit, well how did I know? You showed up like out of a movie
Being in Carlos's house was too much for me
so I told them I felt really ill
The thing is I thought the 2 of us were just gonna have dinner with his parents
and it turns out that there were like 25 people from his family there
6 of them nephews and nieces
Oh no, they're the worst! So you mean you came back for me?
No! Because that house was too much for me
and as I was coming this way, I poked my head round the door
because I knew your thing about the party was a lie
Well no, actually, it got called off at the last minute
Come on, sit down, sit down!
I've got a full bottle of champagne here just for us
I don't like champagne
Look, like the ones from the bikes
Oi, be careful Emilio, point that thing somewhere else!
Why didn't you move out of the way!
Oh fuck, Belén!
Hello! 1 ambulance, 2 traumas
2 blows to the head which sounded really bad
Hurry up for God's sake!
Yoga's great but what's really changed my life is tai chi
My mum loves all that Eastern stuff
she signs up for everything she can
Yeah, it must be wonderful to have so much free time
I've always said you need to approach life as if it wasn't just a piece of shit
Well Mum, what do you think of your grandson's girlfriend?
She's pretty, right?
I like the other one better
She's going senile
You should get her checked over
Well, I don't know if you know but Roberto and Lucía are
really advanced with their wedding arrangements
Oh yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. You don't need to worry about anything
I'll cover the costs of the wedding, just as it should be
And why would we be worried?
Well my daughter mentioned to me that your financial situation isn't that great
Come on dad, I didn't put it exactly like that
Look, excuse me but we can pay for my son's wedding without any trouble!
We've got more than enough money!
Well I wouldn't go that far
No, look, what my dad means is
what would involve a massive financial effort for you
is nothing for him. He won't even notice
Leave it, Antonio. If he wants to pay, let him
Sure! Let him pay, that's the only thing he's good for
Mum!
Look, I'm not saying you can't pay for a wedding
but you can't compare the kind of wedding you can pay for with the kind I can pay for
What the fuck! What the hell do you know about the kind of wedding I can pay for?
Anyway, we'll reach an agreement right here and now and split the costs!
Hey look here, if I wanna get my daughter the Philharmonic Orchestra
then they'll play for her
Well excuse me but that's so cheesy
because then you ask them to play Little Paco the Chocolate Man
and they don't know what you're talking about
Well, we can discuss this later
I say now let's bring out the second course and sing a few carols
No, I haven't come here so this man can rub his money in my face!
Who knows where he got it from!
Best not to ask
Now she's on it again!
Well, erm...it's fine
try the stuffed avocados, they taste really good
Relax, if the wedding goes ahead, it'll be a nice one
Lucía, help my gran with the shrimp because she's getting on my nerves!
Let me have the shrimp so I can help you
No, it's for you
I'm helping you peel it
Gran! Gran! Gran, they're gonna think we don't feed you at home, for fuck's sake!
I told my sister!
I told her, if you carry on with that attitude, Manolo will leave you
And what happened in the end?
Manolo left her!
Oh, I've got an idea! Why don't we propose a toast?
I'll go get the champagne
I thought drinking made her sleepy
Yeah but tonight the drink's made her talkative
I'm not buying this wine again
Oh, how silly! I forgot we don't have any champagne
because I never drink
Well we can't have Christmas without any champagne
Why don't you go ask the neighbours across the hall for some?
since you're so friendly with them
Ok! I'll be right back
That was such a pleasant conversation, wasn't it?
Oh yes, ever so pleasant!
He's a very nice lad, I got the wrong idea about him
Great, right, go on
Go on, get going!
Right, maybe now you'll leave us in peace for a while
Marisa! Marisa! Open the door right this instant!
If this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny!
Well, it looks like the right moment's come, right?
Yeah, go for it, because she'll get hold of another key as soon as she goes down to the caretaker's flat
Marisa, I should warn you I haven't kissed a woman in a long time
Relax! You don't wanna know how long it's been since I last kissed a man
Well, here we go then
How was that?
It felt a little bit tense, let me have a go
A great kiss, no doubt about it
My turn
Now you're getting there
You know, I can see a lot of potential in this
Same here
Why does she always get to keep the guys?
Surely it ought to be my turn by now
You businessmen are all the same
If our trade unions had just done what we needed to do, which was to burn down the factories
Now we'd be singing a different tune
Trade unions! You know where you can shove your trade unions!
Would anyone like an avocado?
Shut up about the fucking avocados! Nobody likes them!
Now that's one thing you're right about
Hey, don't you talk to my wife like that!
The Spanish teams are doing really well in Europe, aren't they?
We invited you here to enjoy Christmas Eve, not to ruin it for us
That's what your father does best
If this man's gonna have the wedding his way, count me out of it!
You can save yourself my invitation!
No, no! Now I'm the one washing my hands of the affair!
You're starting to get me a bit upset
and my psychologist told me to avoid stressful situations
Right, enough, drop it now! There won't be any wedding, end of discussion!
Come on Lucía, there's no need to say that
No! This is something that ought to be a source of joy for all the family
and it's gonna end up being a melodrama
So no, we're not getting married and that's that!
Calm down, Gran, it's fine
I can't peel the shrimp!
Sorry
How is she doctor?
Fine, she's fine, the cork hasn't caused any damage to her eyes
She wasn't screwed by the corkscrew
Indeed, but she took a strong blow to the head on falling over
We're going to keep her in observation for a couple more hours at least
Can I go in and see her for a second?
Yes, of course you can
She's been sedated, right?
Yes, a little
Good, that way she'll get less angry
Belén?
Look, I'm really sorry about the bang you took, seriously
I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciated you coming to see me
because I was kinda lonely
Well no, not kinda lonely, I was really lonely
and while we're on the subject, I'm gonna declare myself
You just listen and afterwards you can draw your own conclusions or whatever
Right
Look Belén, I know I'm nothing special
and I don't have anything clear in life
and I've got lots of faults too
but so does everyone else
I know sometimes I get on your nerves
but you're good at that as well, you know
So I mean...
if you're happy now that you're with him, then...then that's alright
But the thing is I love you, Belén
and I can't change that
and I don't know, what are your thoughts?
I think that's great but who are you?
Shit, you're not Belén!
And you're not my husband either. So what?
God, I'll never remember everything I just said!
You could have said something!
That was some talk I just had with that woman
But did you get her number or not?
Hey, if you're gonna make fun of me, I'm off
No, come here, silly
Hey, that blow hasn't affected your head, has it?
This is from the heart, right?
Wow!
Hang on
Hey lady, look the other way please
What do you think you're doing, Emilio?
Come on, let's do it here
No, not here, Emilio, please
Yeah, come on
No Emilio, they'll see us!
Just a little bit then!
Here dad, I've got a present for you
Thanks so much, son
Thank goodness I've got my family
I certainly wasn't expecting this
No, nor was I. Mum bought it
It's like an assembly line, you supply the money
she buys it, and I give it to you
Cologne! Thanks a lot, son
Oh Juan, with that cologne, you're gonna be so fancy and distinguished
Yeah dad, the perfect charmer
Yeah
Back to the grim reality
Juan, don't open the door!
Like I've got a choice! It's the police!
Oh my God! Well, just relax, honey
Don't go to pieces!
Good evening
He's the one! He's the one who took our money!
Fucking hell, we've got to see him even on Christmas Eve!
Let's go outside please
I don't want to be handcuffed in front of my son
I don't wanna disappoint him, he looks up to me
No, we haven't come to arrest you
It's just that we've apprehended an individual disguised as Father Christmas with 48 thousand euros on his person
He's admitted to stealing the money from
I quote, "a loser with a beard"
and that fits exactly with your description
See! My husband never stole anything!
Right, so now we should be grateful to him for getting mugged!
And we need you to come down to the police station as soon as possible to identify him
Ok, let him identify whatever he wants but give us the money
so we can share it out
Cut to the chase
No, we can't give you the money because we handed it into the courts
A lawsuit has been brought forward and there's a procedure for this type of case which I'm unfamiliar with
Yeah but we wanted that money for Christmas
And you'll have it for Christmas...for Christmas next year if you're lucky
Don't worry, there are speedy trials nowadays
Well, happy Christmas
What a shame! The one time we bring the van, we don't take anyone away in it
Yeah, I considered it but it is Christmas Eve, after all
Right well, I think I deserve an apology
but ok, it needn't be today
We can leave it till the next meeting
See, honey? In the end, we've shown that we're good people
and that there exists justice in the world!
Give me a kiss
Look, I like Lucía but nobody could wish you that for a father-in-law
Make the most of the fact you've still got hair and find yourself another girl
I'll come back for the tray tomorrow
Ok Teresa, thanks for everything
Where are we going now?
Home, Mum
But I haven't finished my dinner!
- Bye Gran! - Bye
What's the matter with your sister now?
I'm so sorry, seriously Lucía. I feel so guilty
No! Don't, Dad was the one being such a pain!
But I've done everything I can to stop you getting married as well
I've treated Roberto really badly
I slagged him off to Dad and now he can't stand the sight of him
It's all my fault, Lucía
See! I knew it!
Next time, pay a bit more attention to what I tell you!
Ok, calm down, we'll talk about it another time, ok?
I just wanted to get married before you
because you've always been first in everything
But I love you lots
Both of you
Yeah, sure, I can see that
Well, let's forget about the wedding for now, maybe it wasn't such a good idea
Wait, what the hell! We'll do whatever we wanna do
Put your wedding dress on
Where are you going!
Put your wedding dress on, I'll be right back
We're gathered here together to join this man and this woman in matrimony
because matrimony must be...
If she won't keep quiet, I can't carry on
Don't waffle on and cut to the chase
Ok, well by the power invested in me by the Great Jedi Council and the Ring of Sauron
I declare you husband and wife
You may now kiss the bride and do anything else you like
But wait for me to leave cos I'm a minor!
Oh, little sis!
Emilio, put that fag out, you can't smoke here
Alright, I'll put it out now
And get dressed. If someone comes in, it'll be so embarrassing
Hey Belén, I reckon now, after this, you'll need to break up with Carlos, right?
Ok, I'll talk to him
Oh look, well now's a good time
Well it looks like we'll get our money in the end
How about a bit of wine to celebrate it?
Midnight, it's time! Forget the wine! I want my present!
Hang on, I'll check everything's ready
What, is it in the street?
A car!
Why would I buy you a car when you haven't got a licence?
Yeah but I could make an effort and get one
Would someone mind telling me what we're doing out here?
Fernando asked us to be here at 12 on the dot
Is he gonna make a proclamation or something?
Oh, the neighbours, how exciting, what's this about?
Wait
My dear neighbours, thank you for keeping the appointment
I just wanted to make the most of this special time to tell you
that I'm gay and Mauri and I are a couple
What and you made us freeze to death out here just for that?
We're elderly, for fuck's sake!
It made the man happy!
Some news they've given us!
Oh sweetheart, this is the most surreal Christmas Eve of my entire life
Lovely Fernando, very deeply felt
What about my present?
This was your present
I'm kidding
It really made me happy
Hey but did everyone already know about it?
That doesn't matter! What's important is finally you've come to terms with it
I don't know what the world's coming to. Now all the handsome blokes are gay
I'm not!
The important thing is that our community is a place with diversity
which is open, modern, accepting
If there's one thing that's clear, it's that this community is very modern, like us, Juan
Listen, we need to invite those gays round for dinner
Why?
Because they're important people. One's a lawyer and the other one's a journalist
so we need to get them in our circle of friends
Not the rest of the neighbours because they're scum
but those 2 guys could be really useful to us
They must know have tons of connections...
Can I come have dinner with you?
What do you mean no?
So what if I remind you of dad?
Oh, you're with your boyfriend. Look mum, I think what you're doing is disgusting
Dad's in a terrible state, just so you know
God, there were so many people in that queue to buy shrimps
Yeah but wait till your sister sees them
it'll be worth queuing up just to see her face
Oh look, Emilio's talking on his mobile
What's the big deal?
I'd never seen it before, I thought it was one of those toy phones
Ok mum, fine! Bye!
Emilio! What's happened to the tree?
What does it look like? Someone's been nicking the decorations
This takes the biscuit!
I put a tree up in the hallway to make it look pleasing on the eye and the neighbours steal the balls!
What do you expect, Juan? They've got no class
This isn't our place, I've told you a thousand times
Let's hope we win the lottery tomorrow so we can get out of here!
Aragon and Legolas were fighting against the orcs in Helm's Deep
and then Gandalf showed up with the Rohirrim
and Frodo's got the ring of power which is taking control of him because...
Yeah, yeah, honey, but I wanna watch a Danish film
about a couple who go through a crisis because they lose their child
Ok fine, and instead of popcorn, we'll buy antidepressants. No way, Lucía!
Hey Lucía, you 2 haven't paid your share of the Christmas Lottery
What share?
Here every year we buy one lottery ticket between all the neighbours
You split the cost of 1 ticket?
- Yeah - Talk about breaking the bank
We've been playing the same number for 12 years now. It's a tradition in our community
And there's another tradition which is that we never win anything
Ok well thanks a lot but we've already got our own lottery tickets
Ah well if our number comes up, don't come moaning to us afterwards
Let it go, Juan. More money for us
Emilio, this year I've got a hunch
Well you should get that checked
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Every day's the same
and I couldn't imagine it when I came to this place
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a riot
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
The house is falling down on me
and the caretaker's nowhere to be seen
The neighbours watch my every move
I can't take this place
Put together and give a good shake
a volcano and an earthquake
and you'll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Look Belén, I hate to pester you
but I don't get why you don't wanna come live with me
I can't stand being told no, it's a problem I've had ever since I was young
But it's not a no, it's a we'll see
Ah now I get why you don't wanna come
Now I know what's wrong
Really?
Sure, don't worry, we'll hire a cleaner
Oh no, it's not that
Well a live-in couple then
No! The thing is we've only been dating 3 weeks, that's barely any time
Well are you at least gonna have dinner with me on Christmas Eve?
Of course, silly!
Brilliant! My parents can't wait to meet you
What, are we having dinner with your parents?
Of course! But don't worry, relax
I'll buy them something from you
Ok
You'll love my mum
Well well well, Belen's gonna come out in society
Have you thought about selling the exclusive?
Alicia, jealousy's really bad for your skin
That's true, the jealousy's eating away at me from the inside
I'll be bored out my wits at a party surrounded by football players
while you're having the time of your life meeting your in-laws
I don't know if I'll be able to stand it
Who knows know what I'm gonna wear cos I haven't got anything
If you were slimmer and a bit taller, I could lend you something
No thanks, the idea is to create a good impression
That girl's so stressed lately
Belén, think about it, look within
Why can't we be together?
Oh Emilio, you're so infuriating! Well because I want a normal boyfriend
Oh look I'm off because Carlos is here now
Hi honey!
Hey be careful babe, don't put your feet on the mats
Stop right there! Where are you going?
You there, driver's licence and vehicle registration!
Oh look, sorry but I left them in my dad's mansion
Right well, since you think you're so smart, we're gonna crucify you
Come on, come with me
Emilio! I've seen the light! I love you!
Really? Alright then, let's go to the olive tree orchard
Hang on, I'll take this hen to make some broth
Shut the fuck up!
Come on, get in
Oh look! The Cuesta's
Emilio, you can't have that car! YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT CAR!
Oh God, Paloma, what a mess!
Right let's go!
Bye Mr and Mrs Cuesta
Son, what are you playing at?
Nothing, just setting up the Christmas crib
I told your mother not to get those x-rays done while she was pregnant
Oh well, I'm off for a walk. See you later
Hey dad, what do you want for dinner on Christmas Eve?
Oh, are we spending Christmas Eve together then?
Well if you're living here, the least we can do is have dinner together
I don't know about that
Check out what's coming this way
How lovely you look this morning
Thanks a lot
No, I meant your sister
Well may the Lord preserve your hearing for you because your eyesight's long gone
I'm being serious, Marisa!
Don't keep pestering us! We're not gonna buy any books, thank you very much
I love it when they play hard to get
Dad, leave the neighbour alone, you're putting me in a difficult position!
Mark my words, I'll be spending Christmas Eve with her
What, are you gonna leave me on my own?
Son, no-one's on their own anymore now that TV's been invented
Right, I'm off to stretch my legs
Well I'm gonna make my own plans and don't come crying to me later if they let you down
Get a life!
What a disgrace!
Did you notice that Emilio's dad is flirting with me?
What a disgrace! Who does that man think he is?
Let him, I like it. It's been so long since someone tried to pick me up
- Marisa - What?
You wouldn't be planning on getting involved with Emilio's dad, would you?
No no no, no way
Well yeah maybe
Are you out of your mind?
Well, how does it look on me?
You look stunning, it's like it was made to measure for you
No Clara, what I meant to say was...
it doesn't matter, your time will come, marrying's not that important anyway
It's fine, I'm over it now
My psychologist said so
That woman's really good, you know
She helped dad a lot with his divorce
Look he's no Sean Connery but I can't afford to be picky at my time of life
That man must be at least 10 years younger than you
The thing is I can't find guys 10 years older than me anymore
For your information, I think
it's terribly wrong of you to fool around with that man who's not even our neighbour
It's not my fault men want me!
Don't talk nonsense!
Keep in mind that I've still got the same body I had when I was 15
How many other women can say the same?
Marisa, let me remind you that you're still a married woman
No-one's perfect!
Mum, don't get in a state about it, get him something original
Right, some aftershave, bye
No honey, wait there!
What's wrong?
My sister's trying on my wedding dress
So what?
It's bad luck if you see it before the wedding
Alright now! Hi honey!
What's she doing with your dress on? Is she a masochist or what?
It's therapy! Her psychologist wants to her to confront her traumas
Drop it. The less I know, the better
Listen, I just confirmed with my mum about us going to hers Christmas Eve
What but we're going to my parents' house!
No, that's on New Year's Eve
No, it's on Christmas Eve. On New Year's Eve my mum's going to the concert
I've told you that a thousand times!
Shit Lucía, but I'm an only child!
If I tell my mum we're not going there, she'll come down with depression
Have you got any idea what it's like to have dinner on your own with my dad and my gran?
No! But it's the only night I get to see my parents together
Well what do you want me to do about it?
I've got an idea!
Why not call them and arrange for everyone to have dinner here?
You're about to get married and your parents still haven't met each other
What better time to do it than on Christmas Eve?
Look sorry, this is a boyfriend-girlfriend conversation
That's a great idea, we could have a little dinner party here
I don't know, I don't agree
Parents are like alcohol: mixing not's a good idea
But they'll have to meet sometime, surely
What's the point, they're gonna meet in the church, anyway!
Let's arrange it! You call mum and I'll call dad, ok?
Ok! What shall we make for dinner?
Oh hang on, I've got some cookery books here somewhere...
Having your views taken on board is what I like best about being in a relationship
What's he done with it?
Someone must be keeping it for him
Hey, how was the gym?
Good, what are you up to?
Nothing, just having a bit of a tidy up
No way! Seriously! You were looking for your Christmas present
No, I wasn't, I was just...
Ok fine! I was looking for it, so what? Every year I find it
It's a personal thing
But there's only 2 days left till Christmas Eve!
I can't take this, I've had a bad week, I'm stressed
I'll give you your one now, hang on
No! I don't want you to give me it yet!
Haven't you bought me anything?
Sure! You're leaving it till the last minute because you've got no idea what to get me
Mauri, I've had it forever
and all I can tell is you're gonna totally freak out!
Fine, you're right, what's the big rush?
I can wait without any problem
Great
Mauri, my bag!
I wasn't going through your bag, you smart ass!
You can't go off skiing on Christmas Eve! We're having dinner as a family
That's why I'm going
Well sorry but we don't have any money
No, I've got money already and I wasn't asking permission, I was just telling you
Come on, you can't leave me here my own with all this shit!
Natalia, if you do go, I want a list of the names and telephone numbers of your companions
Right sure, with their ID and police records
What do you mean police records?
Look, let her do what she likes but let me listen to the lottery numbers!
Wow, the third prize has come out really fast
seventeen thousand two hundred...
Juan! Juan!
What is it?
Come here! Come here!
What?
The number for the community has won the third prize!
I knew it, I knew it!
I told you I had a hunch! I'll go get the cider
Shhh! The kids will hear you
and we won't tell them till after Christmas
Third prize! 48,000 euros, oh my God!
What a party we're gonna throw with all the neighbours!
What neighbours, Juan? That money's for us, for the house in the country
But we gave them a share in the ticket
Yeah, nothing was signed, though, and who bought this ticket?
We did. So the prize is ours
What would you rather have? 8 million pesetas or 2 million?
Well, 8 obviously but the thing is it's wrong
No, what's wrong is that an upright, hardworking family like ours can't move to a house in the country
That's what's really wrong, Juan
Anyway, I bet they'll never even find out their number came up
Millionaires! Millionaires! Olé, olé, olé!
I'm gonna buy myself such an expensive fur coat!
Mum, put that down or your blood sugar level will go through the roof
Come on, show a bit of respect, this will have to be cleaned up later
Emilio, we've won the lottery!
I always said to his mother: "one day this boy will do great things"
Don't get things out of perspective, it's only 2 million pesetas per flat
Fernando, we never win anything, live a little!
I'm gonna get a convertible like the one Belén's boyfriend's got
Well they cost 8 million pesetas
Well I'll give them my scooter in part exchange then
What was it you said about them never finding out?
Yeah, wait, I'll have to think of something
Here come the ticket holders!
We wanna see it, we wanna see it!
Por consiguiente, Juan Cuesta presidente! POR CONSIGUIENTE, JUAN CUESTA PRESIDENTE!
Thank you very much you! Thank you, thank you
It fills me with pride and satisfaction to see that at such a special time of year
lady luck has smiled down upon our building
This prize represents a reward for all of us
after a year of intense communal living, and I must add that...
Stop waffling on and go get the money!
Get the money, get the money!
Alright, alright! I'll go at once
We're rich, señor Juan!
You've finally done something right, buddy!
Hey, don't push!
I'm quite moved, this is the first outpouring of love from the masses I've had
Wait Juan, what are you gonna do cos that money's ours
Drop it now, I'll do what has to be done. I'll be right back
Think Juan! Think!
2 tons for each of them, Paquito! Tax free!
Shit, and I didn't buy a share, it's like money runs away from me
How could I be so dumb!
It's genetic! Look on the bright side
Money runs away from you but it'll come back with what we spend in your video store
Go on, give me one of those cases for my phone
Hey, what are you doing for Christmas Eve?
because with the prize money we could treat ourselves to a nice meal at a fancy restaurant
No way, man, I'm spending it with the family
my parents are being so annoying about it even though I saw them last year!
Don't say that, it's lovely to see all the family together
Oh God! Mum, is it really necessary for gran to come?
No, don't make stuffed avocado, we've already got tons of food, dammit
Oh, it's overdue: fine!
Ok, I'll call you later
Oh my God, I've got a madhouse awaiting me
Hey Roberto, what are you and Lucía gonna do on Christmas Eve?
cos if you're eating by yourselves, I could drop by, right?
By ourselves! I've got my mum, dad, gran, Lucía's parents, and her sister all coming round
And as if that wasn't enough, they've never even met before!
A blind family date, how lovely!
There's not enough space, I dunno where we're gonna eat!
Shit, they're gonna shut the supermarket, see you around
Bye, happy holidays!
He's got a girlfriend, a family that loves him and he still moans!
What's wrong, have you been left in the lurch for Christmas Eve?
No no, I'm just weighing up different options
Why don't you ask Belén out? She might not have plans either
No Paquito! I did enough crawling when I did my military service, dammit
Wait a second! Don't shout at me because I'm not my husband!
Where did he go to collect the money from and why's he taking so long?
Have you called him on his mobile?
He left it at home
What's he got it for then?
He's bought himself a wig and by now he's half way to Brazil
What are you going on about?
Your husband's left you and gone off with our money
My Juan would never do something like that to me
Well he wouldn't be the first, this happens loads
people are always disappearing with the prize money
Something must have happened to him, we should call the hospital
Right, to book a bed for him because he's gonna need one!
You've made the poor man's life a misery, you can see it in his face!
And now with a third child on the way! Like that's not enough to take off
Come on, show a bit of compassion, you're crucifying the poor woman
Señor Cuesta's an honest man, he'd never do something like that to us
Also, he loves me and he hasn't gone anywhere with the money!
Right, you, lawyer, what can we do?
Well the standard procedure in these cases is to report it to the police
but I'd give Juan the benefit of the doubt
Everyone to the police station!
Is it true dad's got tired of us and taken off?
He must have a lover then because he'd never think of doing that on his own
Look, your father loves us all lots and he'll turn up
Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?
But he can't have gone! He still hasn't finished that model he was making
Look, here he is
Good evening neighbours
Where's our money!
Please Marisa! Can't you see he's injured?
Where's our money! Tell us! Tell us!
I'll explain if you'll just give me a second
I'm sorry but I got mugged on leaving the bank
Oh Juan! Are you alright? What happened?
What do you mean you were mugged?
Yeah, they were waiting for me
A couple of men came up and hit me from behind
You should have gone with someone else
See, he hadn't taken off! Peasants! Scum!
I tried to defend myself but the fact they outnumbered me
added to the element of surprise, proved decisive
I shouted for help but all I succeeded in doing
was getting some Japanese people to take pictures of me on the ground
I don't believe a word of it!
But why didn't you call someone?
I tried to phone my house but I couldn't get through
I told that girl to hang up the phone!
I was under observation at the hospital because the blow to the head was brutal
Then the police arrived to deal with the complaint
According to them, it was an organised gang
Sorry, if you don't mind, I need to lie down because I'm feeling a little lightheaded
Of course Juan, let's go home, come on
You lot ought to be hanging your heads in shame!
How could you doubt my husband after all he's sacrificed for this community?
I'm really sorry, I apologise to all of you
Sorry for what? You could have lost your life for them, for goodness sake!
Did anyone swallow any of that?
Well, the police report seems genuine
So does the wound to the head
Those 2 need to be watched closely, mark my words
You're much too trusting, Juan
there are lots of people out there who aren't like us
I wasn't mugged, Paloma
What!
I faked it all, look, I never even collected the money
I fooled them all
Don't ever do that to me again, darling! Because I was so worried
Honey, I didn't say anything to you so your reaction would be more natural if the neighbours asked you
What about the wound to the head?
I did it to myself
to make it more believable
I smacked my head against a bin
Whoa! In that case you'll need to put anti-tetanus on it, I'll go to the chemist's for some
No, there's no need
What's wrong dad, weren't there any tickets for Brazil?
Your father's been mugged. Come on, get off to bed!
And he keeps going on about me having to learn taikwondo!
Oh Juan, I'm so proud of you because you listened to me
Yeah but I feel bad, Paloma. It's the Christmas lottery
We're toying with the dreams of our fellow neighbours
No Juan, you did the right thing!
What's the most important thing in life? - Family!
Well you're fighting for your family and what's done is done
now you'll just have to grin and bear it
Ok, but we need to avoid arousing suspicion
What we need to do now is to keep the lottery ticket safe
and above all not do any excessive spending in the next few days
Sure sweetheart, give me a kiss
5 of the 8 million will go towards the country house
What about the other 3?
To pay bills, Juan, to pay bills
I don't know what to give your daughter this year
Give her a phone and see if she calls us up one of these days
How about inviting her to come here for the holiday?
Yeah right!
Emilio, is your dad there?
What's he done now?
Nothing! I just wanna talk to him
Oh ok, I'll call him
Marisa, what are you gonna do? No self-respecting woman ever chases after a man
She has to let him make the first move
That explains your life story but relax
I'm just gonna drop a hint or two
Hello Marisa
Hello
Look here, are you looking for a fling or not?
I'm like the ads, in search of friendship and whatever it leads to
Mostly what it leads to
Well, why don't you take me out somewhere then? Woo me a bit!
How about going to the cinema this afternoon?
It's a deal! I'll be ready at 6. If you're late, I'll take off
How can you be so shameless?
Because you kept all the shame for yourself
Emilio, it's in the bag
Look dad, this is getting out of hand
Do you know what you're getting yourself into?
Sure I do, for fuck's sake!
Hey, lend me some money for the cinema because I'm skint
Shit, don't be back home late!
Here, take that
Hey, give me my 10 euros!
Hello
You've got it, right? Is it here?
What?
Don't play dumb! Fernando gave you my present to look after, right?
No, he hasn't gave me anything
You're a terrible liar, Armando, hence why you're divorced
Hang on a second
I knew it, I knew it!
Look, he gave me this but don't say anything to him, ok?
The shoes we saw in the shop window, what an idiot!
Don't open it, man!
It's alright, you can change the sellotape later
God, what are these hideous things!
Well, they look nice and warm
In the bank they give away similar ones for opening a pension account
But he goes and gets me slippers to wear around the house
and there was me thinking I'd hit rock bottom with that set of towels with my initials on
Hey if you don't want them, let me have them and I'll give them to my mum
God, they're hideous!
These gays don't like anything that's not designer label
You can't open their bank statements! That's a criminal offence
Only if they catch you
Emilio, give us those letters right now
Sorry but those letters belong to the Cuesta's and they're going in the letter box
and that's final
We'll see about that!
What are you doing!
Right, sorted! Now we'll see how much money they've got
Give me that letter! Don't open it!
Good morning
Well, anyone still harbouring any doubts?
Ok, now let's each of us calmly open a letter
Fuck, these guys are even more skint than us
Maybe they collected the money and hid it in their house
We can't look for it because there's always someone there
Let's arrange a neighbours' meeting!
This guy's sure got brains. And they say university's good for nothing in life
Look Juan, check out my dress!
I'll wear this tomorrow for the dinner
And look at all this delicious food I bought!
Paloma, we can't spend that kind of money, they're gonna get wind of what we're up to
But everyone buys stuff at this time of year
Plus, I still haven't collected the money
Well get to it because you don't wanna know how much the trip I just put on our credit card cost!
Shit! I thought we were short of money
Not were, ARE! We ARE short
The thing is your mother's been possessed by the Christmas spirit
Where have you come from!
I just got up early to go do a few things
That girl's just come home now, she didn't sleep here
Yeah well that's a lost cause
Let's focus on what we need to focus on
Hello, I've come to lodge a formal complaint against Emilio
because his dad's living in the caretaker's flat
Yes, I am aware of that but as it's Christmas, I didn't want to...
I'm very sorry but he can't stay there
He's harassing both my sister and me
That man's a pervert
Ah! If he's a pervert, then that's a different matter
I'll talk to Emilio
Nobody's mad enough to harass those 2!
Except maybe to nick their handbags
My dad's at the cinema and I'm here mopping the floor. Seriously, what a fucked up world
Alright Emilio
Hey Alicia, what are you girls gonna do for Christmas Eve?
I'm going to a party, I've got a VIP pass
My sausage advertisment's opening all kinds of doors for me
Oh great, so Belèn will be at home by herself then
No, she's having dinner at Carlos's parents' house
What's wrong, are you on your own?
No, I was just curious
Christmas isn't that big a deal for me anyway...
Emilio!
Hello Alicia
Emilio, we need to talk about your father
I've turned a blind eye up until now but the neighbours have started to complain
He can't carry on living here
But I can't kick my own dad out on the street!
He's just split up from my mum and he's going through a terrible time
We're devastated
Did you like the film?
I didn't get any of it
Me neither!
Anyway, what do you go to the cinema for? To eat popcorn, right?
Hi son, I'm gonna take Marisa back to her house
Do you fancy a glass of chinchón?
I'll take her back and stay with her for a while
That skirt looks so good on you, baby!
Quiet, silly!
Yeah, you can certainly see he's suffering
No, don't believe that, later when he comes home, he goes to pieces
Oh, have they told you about the meeting yet?
What meeting?
The neighbours have convened an emergency meeting in your house
apparently, there's a serious problem with the building or something
Seriously, it's Christmas and they still won't leave me in peace!
Yeah right we're gonna leave you in peace...so you spend our money
Get outta here
Whoa! So many presents, you shouldn't have bothered, girl
This is such a nightmare! I've been shopping all day
I went to 12 stores, queued up to go in the fitting rooms
queued up at the checkouts, and now I get home and there's nothing I like
That's what you get for not taking other people's advice
Hey, did you know that poor Emilio's gonna spend Christmas Eve all on his own?
Well no, I didn't know that
but what I don't get is what you're telling me for
No, I was only mentioning it because I just spoke to him
Alicia, why are you always trying to make me feel guilty?
No I'm not
But if you feel guilty, that must be for a reason
Well sure, obviously it doesn't fill me joy to hear Emilio's spending Christmas Eve on his own
That's love for you
Leave me alone!
You have dinner with him!
Yeah right! So afterwards I'll have to put up with you being jealous
Alicia, you should make a career working for the gutter press
God how you love to piss people off!
I've changed the refreshments, today you'll get to try some excellent Iberian ham
Someone's really feeling generous this time round!
Just a little Christmas present!
Yeah but paid for with our money
I don't why we're having this meeting, it seems like a waste of time to me
Hey, you're being a bit rude today
I don't know why but I'm in a bad mood all of a sudden
these things sometimes happen at Christmas
What's wrong, didn't you like the slippers for wearing round the house?
No, I didn't
Loser! It was a trap
I knew you couldn't keep still, you're such an idiot
You and me will have words later!
Right, let's get this emergency meeting underway! It was requested as a matter of urgency by flat 1a
for a reason which I am unaware of and which I hope they will now explain to me
Vicenta, explain it to him
Oh yes! We've got a big wet patch in our kitchen ceiling
I think your washing machine's to blame, it must be leaking water somewhere
What! No way
I think you'd best go down and check it
I don't know, let's take a look
No Juan, my washing machine's not got a leak
it's not us, it must be coming from the snob's flat
Right, get on with it, search!
Where would you keep 8 million pesetas?
I wouldn't keep it! I'd spend it!
Look but in silence
Anal Festival, shit this is a porno film!
He's really something else that señor Cuesta!
Vicenta, that's not a wet patch, that's a chip in the wall
What you need to do is paint
Yes
Oh no, my sight's getting worse and worse every day. The optician changed my glasses
but when I put them on, I get dizzy
Now they say they could operate but I can't bring myself to do it
Right, let's get back upstairs
Wait!
My toilet's got a leak, could you have a look at that as well?
Sure and while we're at it, we'll wallpaper the walls for you
Call a plumber, madam
Shall I make you some coffee?
Have you found anything in the bedroom?
Some boxer shorts of Juan's which are cracking me up!
No, any money I mean!
No, no money
Hey, how come you're not looking?
This ham's so nice!
Let's try
Mauri, what did we come here for?
What the...have you lost something?
Why on earth are you turning our house upside down? Where are my parents?
They've gone downstairs to check a leak
Your parents have kept the money we won in the lottery and we're looking for it
What are you going on about! My dad was mugged!
What's going on here?
Nothing, they're saying you kept the lottery money
Come on, we're not back on that again, are we!
You can say what you like about our parents but they've never lied to us
and if my dad says he was mugged, that means he was mugged
Show a little respect for my parents, they're going through a really rough time
and they could never do such a disgraceful thing
They don't go around stealing money that doesn't belong to them
Paloma, I'm sorry but I can't carry on with this
The kids had to stick up for us
I know Juan, I know
How are we gonna tell them now that the neighbours were right?
and that their parents are a pair of crooks who've kept money that's not theirs?
When have we ever misled our kids?
Never, Juan, never
You and I are honest folk, Paloma. How did we come to this?
Well because we're human beings, Juan
Everything I did was for the baby growing inside me who deserves a better life
Look, look at this garden for him to play in
with a built-in barbeque and everything
Well if we can't get it, we can't get it
I know but the one time we win something, we have to share it!
and it's all the fault of that bald bloke in the ad who fills our heads with dreams
Tomorrow I'll go down to the bank, collect the money and share it out among the neighbours
which is what we should have done
We'll have to hang our heads in shame but we'll have a clear conscience
At least tomorrow's Christmas Eve and people don't get angry on Christmas Eve, do they?
I hope not
Dad, switch off the light, will you!
Wait a second, I'm about to make a phone call
To who?
Who do you think!
Really! What kind of person calls at this time?
It's for me, it's for me
- Yes? - Hello
Hi
I was just calling to wish you goodnight
Good night
See you tomorrow
Sleep well
Go on, hang up
- No you - No you first!
- No you - No, after you, baby!
Dad, come on, have a bit of self-respect, you're gonna come out in acne
Marisa, hang up the phone! You're just throwing money away
But he called me
Listen please, it's far too late for phone calls. Good night
You're jealous!
I'm worried about you, that's what I am
Relax! We're taking precautions
I'm being serious
Listen, tomorrow I want Mariano to come round for dinner
Oh no, that's all we need! Christmas is a family festival
I don't want any strangers here
Well if he doesn't come, I'm going somewhere else then
What! You can't leave me alone on Christmas Eve!
You won't be alone! Go and have dinner with cousin Carmen
Cousin Carmen died last year!
Oh yeah, that's true. Who was that I was talking to on the phone yesterday then?
Marisa, you're gonna have to choose: either your sister or that man
You're just like mum! For fuck's sake!
- Hey! - Hey
Well tell me, what's the plan for tonight?
To go out by ourselves because my sister's kinda stupid
You mean you're gonna ditch your sister on Christmas Eve to go out with a stranger?
That's it in a nutshell
Ok look, he can come for dinner
that way we can get to know each other better
Alright, but don't make yourself a nuisance because I know what you're like!
Great, I'll bring the wine
Make sure it's strong and after the second glass, she'll be out like a light
Bye beautiful!
Just for the record, I'm only doing this to spend Christmas as a family!
Thanks a lot, Vicenta! We're gonna have a great time, you'll see!
I'm just gonna ask you one question
Has he kissed you yet? Has there been any touching?
Who do you take me for!
I never do that kind of thing on the first date!
That's why I need a second one. I'll go decide what to wear tonight!
I knew Señor Juan couldn't have kept the money
He's a good person
Alright, we made a mistake, but it's only logical to think the worst in this place
Right then, any volunteers to apologise?
I'm no good at that
Why don't you do it? You're the lawyer
That's true, you must be used to making up excuses
It's the neighbours
Tell them everything, Juan, what we've done is so wrong
But you'll come out with me, right?
I can't, don't you know all the stuff I need to do?
Tonight's the dinner, I need to iron the table cloth
What a mess!
Hello Juan
Hello
Actually, I wanted to talk with all of you to apologise
No, please! We're the ones who need to make you the apology
for the way we've behaved about this business of the lottery
Yes, we're really sorry for thinking the worst of you without any evidence, right?
- Yes - Really?
Yes, it was irresponsible of us to let you go and collect the money on your own
You always take care of everything
Well, I appreciate your apology and I'd like to stress
that I will always be at our community's disposal
Anyway, who knows? The money might still turn up
No, it WILL turn up!
We're gonna catch those bastards who hit you and mugged you
We've got a video tape with footage of the robbery
What?
There's a branch of my bank just opposite the place where you were mugged
and the CCTV managed to capture everything
so I've been given the tape in case we want to take it to the police
Oh well give it to me and I'll take it to the police station
No, let's watch it! How exciting!
You can say that again, Mr President in action
Come on, let's go to my house
Let's go
You must be so brave! You stood up to them!
Yeah but I don't like to brag, it's just what anyone else would have done
Go on, put it on!
Also, reliving the experience could be traumatic for me
The psychologist said so
Well don't look then
Turn the volume up!
This doesn't have any sound, mum, it's CCTV
Yeah, you won't see anything. These recordings have terrible quality
Even if you do see someone on there, you won't be able to make out who it is
Look, there's señor Juan!
Let's see where the bad guys come from
What's he playing at!
No way!
Well at least the part about the Japanese was true
What a son of a...
He's gone!
After him!
Paloma, don't open the door to anyone! If the neigbhours ask
tell them I've gone for the money
and call my sister and tell her not to come for dinner!
I'm hanging up before I kill myself!
Juan! Hello?
Open the door! Scum!
He's just gone to collect the money, he'll give you your share in a minute
We're gonna phone the police
Don't bang on the door, you'll leave scratch marks on it!
Mum, what's going on?
The neighbours are harassing me and now your father says the family's not coming over
and I've already defrosted the shrimps!
I'm telling you I can't take any more of this!
Mum, don't get in a state, it's Christmas
Right let's see, the water's boiling, that's done
So is this. What do we do now?
Now we need to put the lobster in the water like spaghetti
They're alive, Clara, they're moving around!
Of course they're alive
why do you think you put them in boiling water?
Ok. Should I pick it up?
Obviously!
What are you playing at!
I dropped it!
Where's it gone?
In the living room
Quick, give me a knife and I'll finish it off!
No, I don't want you boiling that thing in my house
Shall we adopt it as a pet then?
Here
Shall we put a collar on it and call her Pinky?
Where is it?
Over there, it's slipped under the sofa
Shit, watch the door, it's just been put in!
Alright calm down, this thing's heavy
That's it, scratch the door again
Honey, you didn't buy folding chairs, did you?
Sure I did, how else were they gonna fit in the boot?
Look señora, where shall we put this?
Be careful!
You killed Pinky!
Right, in the saucepan you go then
Yes, I'm just bringing the money now, get them to calm down
I won't be a minute
- Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas
Hey wait, what about a little Christmas tip?
Oh sure, wait a second
Give me your wallet! Shout and I'll slice you apart!
Yeah, wait, you can have my wallet, here
What's in that envelope?
No! Not the envelope!
I'll give you my watch, it's great, Julio Iglesias advertises it
Give me the envelope for fuck's sake!
It's just family photos!
Let go of it or I'll stab you!
Come back! HELP! HELP!
What happened here? Why are you on the ground?
You're not gonna believe this, Emilio
A Father Christmas just mugged me here right outside the front door
He pulled out a knife and...
You're right, I don't believe it
Señor Juan, this thing with the lottery's messed with your head a bit, right?
No Emilio, dammit! I was gonna return the money
You're angry with me too, right?
Well so-so. I'm an employee so I try not to let it show
and don't tell you to go fuck yourself like they're doing upstairs
Oh God, how am I gonna explain this now?
If I were you, I'd run away. Don't you have any relatives in Latin America or something?
What a Christmas! What a Christmas!
He said he'd only be a minute so you'll just have to wait and that's that!
This family are so two-faced!
Look, here's Jesse James
Well, have you brought our money?
Yes, listen, I'll explain to you what happened in detail
All I ask of you is to keep calm
so I can...shut the door, Paloma!
What's happened now!
What's he playing at!
I can explain better from here
I was bringing the money back but right outside the door
I got mugged by a man dressed as Father Christmas
Sure you did! And he climbed on his reindeer and flew away, right?
Sure, the man's low on funds this year because all the kids have asked him for so much stuff
No, I swear on the life of my kids!
Look, you're lucky we're civilised people, otherwise we'd break your door down
Fuck it! Let's break it down!
Come on, seriously now, what are we gonna do?
The only thing we can do: go and file a complaint in court
They'll come down on you like a ton of bricks!
Dad, would you mind telling me what you're playing at?
That's not chewing gum, you know
Don't spoil the moment, Emilio, I'm excited. Precautions need to be put in place for tonight
But the only precautions you need to take at your time of life is to watch your cholesterol levels!
No, man, it's for you
You've ruined the surprise now
Oh well, take it and don't say I didn't give you anything for Christmas
Merry Christmas, give me a kiss, son
Merry Christmas Dad
Alright, alright, what's got into you, Dad? That's enough!
I didn't have to time to wrap it up
Well thanks a lot, dad, but the thing is I haven't got a girlfriend
Emilio, there's always hope for love at Christmas time
Hey, do you know how to use one of these?
Yeah, not because you explained it to me, though
cos you never sat me down and talked to me about that kinda stuff
Fuck, what do you think school's for?
You take her up while we find somewhere to park
Stay with your grandson for a minute, ok?
Alright Gran, how are you?
You're looking very well
Would you rather wait for them here or head upstairs?
Where have they brought me?
To my house, don't worry!
Maybe we'd best head up
Oh Roberto, happy Christmas
Happy Christmas
I'm going skiing, I can't be bothered to sit it out with the family
Great
I can see that's not your case, though
Look, it's not too late for you to come along
I'm cold!
We're going now, Gran!
Give me a kiss cos we won't see each other now until next year
Alright
Bye
She's a friend from the building
You don't need to say anything about that to anyone, Gran
Fuck!
Let's go
- Shit! Gran! - What?
Where are you going?
It's on the third floor! Don't touch the buttons, Gran!
Hi mum!
How are my little girls doing?
Hi darling
Give me your coat
Dad's over there
I suppose one has to say hello, right?
Mum!
I was joking
How are you, sweetheart?
Very well, and yourself?
Excellent
Hey, you're looking very nice, Isabel
Thank you, I invest your money well
Come on, don't you 2 start, save something for dessert, ok?
Come in! Don't worry, they'll be up in a second
Come in
Oh, you're already here!
Look Gran, I'll introduce you to Lucía's parents
Rafael, Isabel, and...hey!
Someone's hungry
No, she's just used to having an early dinner
Hello! Is this the Christmas Eve dinner party?
Yeah mum, come in
I've brought stuffed avocado
Teresa!
You look lovely, Lucía!
Thanks a lot, let me introduce you to my parents
I've been so looking forward to meeting you
We were just saying that in the car, weren't we, Antonio?
Well to be honest, she was talking and I was listening to the radio
My husband's such a joker, you'll soon see what he's like!
Yes, here we are at long last, all the family together
because all the signs suggest that we're going to become family
Yeah
Where's the remote for the TV?
No Dad, we're gonna eat now
Well
Isn't this nice?
Yeah
Shall we have dinner?
Yeah
Ok
I'm going upstairs, son, wish me luck
Dad, can't I come have dinner with you guys?
No way! It's a romantic evening!
Two's company, three's a crowd
But Vicenta will be there as well, won't she?
We're gonna get rid of her, it's all been taken care of
Right then, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
See you later
Don't drink too much cos you get really annoying
Move in for the kill!
Hey Emilio
Hey
Erm...happy Christmas
Same to you. You look nice
You're like a different person when you get dressed up
I guess that was meant to be a compliment, right?
Sure
Look...Alicia told me you're not doing anything tonight and you're gonna have dinner on your own
Who me? No, come off it! It turns out I'm going out with some mates, after all
to a party that...that's gonna be great
Erm...I've already got the tickets
Right
God, you look amazing, sweetheart
Yeah, I already told her that before
Shall we go?
Yeah, let's go
Oh, happy Christmas, Emilio
- Screw you! - What?
No, same to you. Enjoy yourself with your family at this special time
Look, have a little Christmas tip so you can buy yourself a little something
100 euros
Come on, hurry up, Mum doesn't like being made to wait
May God reward you with a decent investigation into your taxes
Well...have a nice time
You too
Thanks
You're definitely going to a party, right?
Yeah, go on, get outta here, don't be annoying!
Bye!
Crook!
Give us our money, you bastard!
Paloma, turn up the carols
Don't worry, Juan, let's just mind our own business, they'll get tired of it soon enough
And you, eat more lobster!
I don't want any more
Oh, I'm gonna have so much food left over!
I don't know why we told your sister not to come
Because I knew what kind of spectacle would be waiting for her
Fraudster!
I haven't got the money!
Look, we're gonna have to leave the house sometime
The internet's working, isn't it? Well we'll get the shopping delivered
Oh, the king's speech! I'll put the TV on
so you can get some ideas cos you're gonna need them
What a depressing Christmas Eve!
No Juan, I bet there are other people having a much worse time than us
Merry Christmas to everyone and a big hug to all
the families who are celebrating Christmas with us
Let the party begin and everybody dance!
I'm an honest lady and I like to be up front and tell it like it is
and I don't think your relationship can work
That's it, I've said it now
Come on, a toast for how rude my sister is
Cheers!
Men have always come after us for our money
Sure, they see the luxury that surrounds us and say "Let's go get the Kennedys!"
Hey, are you trying to tell me something?
Yes I am! You've got no house and no job, and that's very suspicious
I've got a job and I had a house until my wife kicked me out
That's another thing, you're married as well!
Yes ma'am, 38 years of marriage
but the real relationship only lasted 3!
That was when we had Emilio and obviously no marriage could have resisted that
Well I don't know if my sister's told you this but she's married too
That's true! I'm married too!
I put all the bad stuff in the back of my mind so quickly
Yeah she might seem nice now but watch out because Marisa's really difficult to live with!
You've no idea the mood swings she has
and she snores so loudly! That's because she won't give up the fags
Go on, drink up!
No, I've already had one glass and that's enough for me
Go on, drink, it's Christmas Eve, dammit! It'll be good for you
I just can't believe
what people are capable of doing for 8 rotten million
Well we did what we needed to do: we reported it
now let's try and enjoy our Christmas Eve
That's another thing I don't get!
Why did you insist on not inviting anyone round?
Mauri, I wanted a romantic supper
I've got a lovely present to give you
Not that present again! It's such torture, just give it to me now!
No, I can't, there's absolutely no way I can give it to you before midnight
But that's an hour and a half away, don't be mean!
Hey, this caviar sub tastes amazing, you know that
Is that so? Well your present's a sweater and screw you!
Merry Christmas, Mauri
Merry Christmas, Fernando
Oh I'm so excited!
Oh you're such an idiot!
Emilio? Emilio?
Belén!
Stop, stop, stop!
What do you think you're doing?
I don't know, what are you doing?
I've come to have dinner with you but as a friend!
Shit, well how did I know? You showed up like out of a movie
Being in Carlos's house was too much for me
so I told them I felt really ill
The thing is I thought the 2 of us were just gonna have dinner with his parents
and it turns out that there were like 25 people from his family there
6 of them nephews and nieces
Oh no, they're the worst! So you mean you came back for me?
No! Because that house was too much for me
and as I was coming this way, I poked my head round the door
because I knew your thing about the party was a lie
Well no, actually, it got called off at the last minute
Come on, sit down, sit down!
I've got a full bottle of champagne here just for us
I don't like champagne
Look, like the ones from the bikes
Oi, be careful Emilio, point that thing somewhere else!
Why didn't you move out of the way!
Oh fuck, Belén!
Hello! 1 ambulance, 2 traumas
2 blows to the head which sounded really bad
Hurry up for God's sake!
Yoga's great but what's really changed my life is tai chi
My mum loves all that Eastern stuff
she signs up for everything she can
Yeah, it must be wonderful to have so much free time
I've always said you need to approach life as if it wasn't just a piece of shit
Well Mum, what do you think of your grandson's girlfriend?
She's pretty, right?
I like the other one better
She's going senile
You should get her checked over
Well, I don't know if you know but Roberto and Lucía are
really advanced with their wedding arrangements
Oh yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. You don't need to worry about anything
I'll cover the costs of the wedding, just as it should be
And why would we be worried?
Well my daughter mentioned to me that your financial situation isn't that great
Come on dad, I didn't put it exactly like that
Look, excuse me but we can pay for my son's wedding without any trouble!
We've got more than enough money!
Well I wouldn't go that far
No, look, what my dad means is
what would involve a massive financial effort for you
is nothing for him. He won't even notice
Leave it, Antonio. If he wants to pay, let him
Sure! Let him pay, that's the only thing he's good for
Mum!
Look, I'm not saying you can't pay for a wedding
but you can't compare the kind of wedding you can pay for with the kind I can pay for
What the fuck! What the hell do you know about the kind of wedding I can pay for?
Anyway, we'll reach an agreement right here and now and split the costs!
Hey look here, if I wanna get my daughter the Philharmonic Orchestra
then they'll play for her
Well excuse me but that's so cheesy
because then you ask them to play Little Paco the Chocolate Man
and they don't know what you're talking about
Well, we can discuss this later
I say now let's bring out the second course and sing a few carols
No, I haven't come here so this man can rub his money in my face!
Who knows where he got it from!
Best not to ask
Now she's on it again!
Well, erm...it's fine
try the stuffed avocados, they taste really good
Relax, if the wedding goes ahead, it'll be a nice one
Lucía, help my gran with the shrimp because she's getting on my nerves!
Let me have the shrimp so I can help you
No, it's for you
I'm helping you peel it
Gran! Gran! Gran, they're gonna think we don't feed you at home, for fuck's sake!
I told my sister!
I told her, if you carry on with that attitude, Manolo will leave you
And what happened in the end?
Manolo left her!
Oh, I've got an idea! Why don't we propose a toast?
I'll go get the champagne
I thought drinking made her sleepy
Yeah but tonight the drink's made her talkative
I'm not buying this wine again
Oh, how silly! I forgot we don't have any champagne
because I never drink
Well we can't have Christmas without any champagne
Why don't you go ask the neighbours across the hall for some?
since you're so friendly with them
Ok! I'll be right back
That was such a pleasant conversation, wasn't it?
Oh yes, ever so pleasant!
He's a very nice lad, I got the wrong idea about him
Great, right, go on
Go on, get going!
Right, maybe now you'll leave us in peace for a while
Marisa! Marisa! Open the door right this instant!
If this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny!
Well, it looks like the right moment's come, right?
Yeah, go for it, because she'll get hold of another key as soon as she goes down to the caretaker's flat
Marisa, I should warn you I haven't kissed a woman in a long time
Relax! You don't wanna know how long it's been since I last kissed a man
Well, here we go then
How was that?
It felt a little bit tense, let me have a go
A great kiss, no doubt about it
My turn
Now you're getting there
You know, I can see a lot of potential in this
Same here
Why does she always get to keep the guys?
Surely it ought to be my turn by now
You businessmen are all the same
If our trade unions had just done what we needed to do, which was to burn down the factories
Now we'd be singing a different tune
Trade unions! You know where you can shove your trade unions!
Would anyone like an avocado?
Shut up about the fucking avocados! Nobody likes them!
Now that's one thing you're right about
Hey, don't you talk to my wife like that!
The Spanish teams are doing really well in Europe, aren't they?
We invited you here to enjoy Christmas Eve, not to ruin it for us
That's what your father does best
If this man's gonna have the wedding his way, count me out of it!
You can save yourself my invitation!
No, no! Now I'm the one washing my hands of the affair!
You're starting to get me a bit upset
and my psychologist told me to avoid stressful situations
Right, enough, drop it now! There won't be any wedding, end of discussion!
Come on Lucía, there's no need to say that
No! This is something that ought to be a source of joy for all the family
and it's gonna end up being a melodrama
So no, we're not getting married and that's that!
Calm down, Gran, it's fine
I can't peel the shrimp!
Sorry
How is she doctor?
Fine, she's fine, the cork hasn't caused any damage to her eyes
She wasn't screwed by the corkscrew
Indeed, but she took a strong blow to the head on falling over
We're going to keep her in observation for a couple more hours at least
Can I go in and see her for a second?
Yes, of course you can
She's been sedated, right?
Yes, a little
Good, that way she'll get less angry
Belén?
Look, I'm really sorry about the bang you took, seriously
I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciated you coming to see me
because I was kinda lonely
Well no, not kinda lonely, I was really lonely
and while we're on the subject, I'm gonna declare myself
You just listen and afterwards you can draw your own conclusions or whatever
Right
Look Belén, I know I'm nothing special
and I don't have anything clear in life
and I've got lots of faults too
but so does everyone else
I know sometimes I get on your nerves
but you're good at that as well, you know
So I mean...
if you're happy now that you're with him, then...then that's alright
But the thing is I love you, Belén
and I can't change that
and I don't know, what are your thoughts?
I think that's great but who are you?
Shit, you're not Belén!
And you're not my husband either. So what?
God, I'll never remember everything I just said!
You could have said something!
That was some talk I just had with that woman
But did you get her number or not?
Hey, if you're gonna make fun of me, I'm off
No, come here, silly
Hey, that blow hasn't affected your head, has it?
This is from the heart, right?
Wow!
Hang on
Hey lady, look the other way please
What do you think you're doing, Emilio?
Come on, let's do it here
No, not here, Emilio, please
Yeah, come on
No Emilio, they'll see us!
Just a little bit then!
Here dad, I've got a present for you
Thanks so much, son
Thank goodness I've got my family
I certainly wasn't expecting this
No, nor was I. Mum bought it
It's like an assembly line, you supply the money
she buys it, and I give it to you
Cologne! Thanks a lot, son
Oh Juan, with that cologne, you're gonna be so fancy and distinguished
Yeah dad, the perfect charmer
Yeah
Back to the grim reality
Juan, don't open the door!
Like I've got a choice! It's the police!
Oh my God! Well, just relax, honey
Don't go to pieces!
Good evening
He's the one! He's the one who took our money!
Fucking hell, we've got to see him even on Christmas Eve!
Let's go outside please
I don't want to be handcuffed in front of my son
I don't wanna disappoint him, he looks up to me
No, we haven't come to arrest you
It's just that we've apprehended an individual disguised as Father Christmas with 48 thousand euros on his person
He's admitted to stealing the money from
I quote, "a loser with a beard"
and that fits exactly with your description
See! My husband never stole anything!
Right, so now we should be grateful to him for getting mugged!
And we need you to come down to the police station as soon as possible to identify him
Ok, let him identify whatever he wants but give us the money
so we can share it out
Cut to the chase
No, we can't give you the money because we handed it into the courts
A lawsuit has been brought forward and there's a procedure for this type of case which I'm unfamiliar with
Yeah but we wanted that money for Christmas
And you'll have it for Christmas...for Christmas next year if you're lucky
Don't worry, there are speedy trials nowadays
Well, happy Christmas
What a shame! The one time we bring the van, we don't take anyone away in it
Yeah, I considered it but it is Christmas Eve, after all
Right well, I think I deserve an apology
but ok, it needn't be today
We can leave it till the next meeting
See, honey? In the end, we've shown that we're good people
and that there exists justice in the world!
Give me a kiss
Look, I like Lucía but nobody could wish you that for a father-in-law
Make the most of the fact you've still got hair and find yourself another girl
I'll come back for the tray tomorrow
Ok Teresa, thanks for everything
Where are we going now?
Home, Mum
But I haven't finished my dinner!
- Bye Gran! - Bye
What's the matter with your sister now?
I'm so sorry, seriously Lucía. I feel so guilty
No! Don't, Dad was the one being such a pain!
But I've done everything I can to stop you getting married as well
I've treated Roberto really badly
I slagged him off to Dad and now he can't stand the sight of him
It's all my fault, Lucía
See! I knew it!
Next time, pay a bit more attention to what I tell you!
Ok, calm down, we'll talk about it another time, ok?
I just wanted to get married before you
because you've always been first in everything
But I love you lots
Both of you
Yeah, sure, I can see that
Well, let's forget about the wedding for now, maybe it wasn't such a good idea
Wait, what the hell! We'll do whatever we wanna do
Put your wedding dress on
Where are you going!
Put your wedding dress on, I'll be right back
We're gathered here together to join this man and this woman in matrimony
because matrimony must be...
If she won't keep quiet, I can't carry on
Don't waffle on and cut to the chase
Ok, well by the power invested in me by the Great Jedi Council and the Ring of Sauron
I declare you husband and wife
You may now kiss the bride and do anything else you like
But wait for me to leave cos I'm a minor!
Oh, little sis!
Emilio, put that fag out, you can't smoke here
Alright, I'll put it out now
And get dressed. If someone comes in, it'll be so embarrassing
Hey Belén, I reckon now, after this, you'll need to break up with Carlos, right?
Ok, I'll talk to him
Oh look, well now's a good time
Well it looks like we'll get our money in the end
How about a bit of wine to celebrate it?
Midnight, it's time! Forget the wine! I want my present!
Hang on, I'll check everything's ready
What, is it in the street?
A car!
Why would I buy you a car when you haven't got a licence?
Yeah but I could make an effort and get one
Would someone mind telling me what we're doing out here?
Fernando asked us to be here at 12 on the dot
Is he gonna make a proclamation or something?
Oh, the neighbours, how exciting, what's this about?
Wait
My dear neighbours, thank you for keeping the appointment
I just wanted to make the most of this special time to tell you
that I'm gay and Mauri and I are a couple
What and you made us freeze to death out here just for that?
We're elderly, for fuck's sake!
It made the man happy!
Some news they've given us!
Oh sweetheart, this is the most surreal Christmas Eve of my entire life
Lovely Fernando, very deeply felt
What about my present?
This was your present
I'm kidding
It really made me happy
Hey but did everyone already know about it?
That doesn't matter! What's important is finally you've come to terms with it
I don't know what the world's coming to. Now all the handsome blokes are gay
I'm not!
The important thing is that our community is a place with diversity
which is open, modern, accepting
If there's one thing that's clear, it's that this community is very modern, like us, Juan
Listen, we need to invite those gays round for dinner
Why?
Because they're important people. One's a lawyer and the other one's a journalist
so we need to get them in our circle of friends
Not the rest of the neighbours because they're scum
but those 2 guys could be really useful to us
They must know have tons of connections...