Another Period (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Senate - full transcript
The Commodore returns to Bellacourt Manor with a handsome chef in tow who catches Hortense's eye, and Frederick undergoes psychological evaluation to see if he's fit for a Senate seat. Down in the servant's quarters, Hamish finds a way to blackmail Chair.
[pleasant string music]
♪ ♪
[groaning]
Welcome home.
[laughing]
Oh.
Oh, my dumb
little dumplings.
I'm missed your faces.
Oh, father...
We've missed your gifts.
And who is this?
(commodore)
oh, dodo,
Showing your provincial roots
again?
You don't recognize celebrated
chef chauncey allister?
(chauncey)
you told me your daughters
were beautiful,
But you mentioned
the word "perfection."
I've never seen
a creature so...
Robustly formed.
(commodore)
I have a big surprise for you.
Last week,
senator ambrose burnside
Died in a freak mustache fire.
Yay, thank you, daddy!
That's not
the surprise.
(commodore)
a u.S. Senate seat
has become available.
And frederick,
You shall fill it.
How is frederick qualified
to be a senator?
He believes rocks
are alive.
(frederick)
that is ridiculous.
Some of the older rocks
have passed away.
(commodore)
how does it feel, son?
You are to be appointed
the next u.S. Senator
From the state of rhode island.
I am deeply honored
And very excited
for this opportunity.
I only have one question.
What is senate?
[hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
Is being a senator
a job?
Mm, it's more
like a drinking club
That decides the laws.
Does that mean we
can make the laws?
That's exactly what it means.
We're gonna be able to pass
any law we want.
Oof!
Milady, could you not
Aim for my face next time?
(lillian)
you can't talk to us
like that, blanche.
I'll have your head
cut off.
Can you imagine blanche
without a head?
[laughter]
You know beheadings
aren't legal anymore.
(lillian)
tell that to the head dump
Father had built on
the south end of the estate.
(hortense)
all right, sisters,
clear the space.
I have this room reserved
for my meeting today.
Oh!
You can't have a meeting
during cream time.
There's no such thing
as cream time!
Yes, there is,
it's in the bible.
(hortense)
you're throwing cream puffs
at my sign?
Oh, no we suck the cream out.
We're just
throwing the casings.
[blanche yelps]
You are such pigs!
(hortense)
you know, now that frederick
and I are politically active,
It makes your decadent laziness
all the more obscene.
We are not lazy.
Let's move cream time
elsewhere.
Bye, hortense.
Those jack-a-ninnies
in washington
Insist that frederick
be psychologically vetted
Before he become a senator,
So they sent dr. Sigmund freud
to examine my boy.
Name?
Frederick.
Age?
[breathes deeply]
These questions
are getting really hard.
Do you understand
what a question is?
Well...
Now who's asking
the questions?
[chuckles]
Still me.
(commodore)
you wanted to see me?
This better be important.
I've called you in here
to remind you
That, according to
our marital contract,
I am to fellate you
seven times a year.
I told you, the saltpeter
mines of the congo
Destroyed my sex drive.
I'm so sorry.
- Come here.
- I want you so badly.
Just wanted to feel
close to my husband.
Yes, I feel the same.
Peepers.
I already filled
the syringe, madam.
[sighs]
[moans]
Peepers...
[crying]
I fear that commodore
is having an affair.
Put the tray over there.
If you want your food,
You're going to have
to come and get it.
No!
Hands and knees.
You're going to crawl.
He called out the name "celine"
in his sleep.
Sounds french-canadian.
No!
Ugh.
I move in here
based on the promise
From some pathetic old fool
That it would be
a nice place to keep me close.
Then the bastard disappears.
The thought of him
engaging in sexual congress
With a snow-negro...
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, darling.
Why don't you show me
just how sorry you are?
Oh...
Yes, my mistress.
[exhales]
You look like you climbed
Out of a pile
of dirty underwear.
Leave me alone, troll.
Don't you have a bridge
to guard?
I quit that job.
Too much billy goat shit.
So that's
your scheme, huh?
Feeding your fish
to the commodore?
It's pretty obvious.
Ugh!
Ah, what are you--
You always did know
how to make me horny.
You say a word,
and you are dead man.
Death don't scare me.
I've saved up 50 cents.
That'll do.
For now.
I'm gonna blackmail
the shit out of her.
[rhythmic creaking]
Well, suffragettes,
My pitch for
our new slogan.
It's straight
to the point.
Feels a little
"on the nose."
I've been working
on something
I'm quite happy with.
We're strong, we're sober,
We're virgins.
Uh, we're not virgins,
hortense.
You're not?
No, we have sex
all the time.
(deb)
look, all I want
is for us to vote
And to get reamed
from time to time.
Next law: Mandatory
bow ties on all dogs.
Of course.
Ooh, and can we put cream time
in the bible?
- Mm-hmm.
- And chowder bath.
It's my second favorite bath
we take on tuesdays.
(frederick)
these are all wonderful ideas.
(beatrice)
hmm, what else?
What is going on in here?
Ooh, I know, I want you
to make a law against hortense.
Done.
Laws don't work like that,
And you should know that
if you're going to be a senator.
Do you even know the three
branches of government?
(frederick)
sure I do.
The nina, the pinta,
and the santa clausaria.
See?
He knows.
(lillian)
well, someone better
tell the press
To dust off their adjectives
for "beautiful,"
Because beatrice and I
are going to be
The face of this
political dynasty.
(hortense)
I'm sure it will lake
your asses to know
That the press will be attending
my rally this afternoon.
(lillian)
oh, are they doing a story
On using the color brown
to accentuate face moles?
[laughter]
They're covering me
because I have a cause,
Something I care deeply about.
You should really
try it sometime.
I don't care about anything.
As don't I.
[lillian and beatrice scream]
I just realized my cause.
(beatrice)
what is it?
Ruining hortense's cause.
♪ regatta, baby ♪
Well, dr. Freud,
Do you have the results
of frederick's exam?
I do, and based
on my observations,
Frederick suffers
From latent and acute
homosexuality.
[coughing]
[wheezing furiously]
That is disgusting!
A homosexual in our family?!
Using our toilets?
The idea roils my stomach!
[spits]
Ugh!
[tray clattering]
Well, that is a perfectly
normal reaction.
After all, homosexuality
is an abomination.
Am I going to die?
Homosexuality
is quite curable.
[sighs]
There are lots
of approaches.
There is soaking
in the blood
Of a dying clydesdale.
There is eating
a live wolverine,
Slathering one's genitals
In a paste of milk
and ground elephant tusk,
Leeches on the anus,
An electrical current
to the anus.
Also training
in the masculine arts.
(commodore)
he'll be sworn in as senator
on Friday.
You give us until then
to file the report.
We'll beat this.
To be queer
or not to be queer,
That is the queer-stion.
[lightning crashes]
Whether to live my life
as a homo-szechwan
Or the fight the good fight
and cure myself
Of this terrible
and somewhat tempting disease.
[thunder crashes]
[bell tolls]
Excuse me, chef?
I was wondering if you could
make some more hors d'oeuvres.
My sisters sucked the fillings
out of all of the canapes.
Mm, serving you would be
a most delicious pleasure.
Oh, uh,
well, we should hurry.
I don't want
to miss the meeting.
I'm a man who likes
to take his time.
I like to eat a dish
when it's...
Ready to be eaten.
Oh...
Can you wait?
Ye--[wheezing]
[whispers] yes.
[gulps]
yes.
♪ billionaire, billionaire ♪
♪ bitch, kiss the ring ♪
[knocking]
What, what is it?
What do you want?
Father said you could instruct
me in the art of manhood.
Ah, that I can.
I help homosexuals
stop making the choice
To be homosexuals.
It's a hobby.
Now, the most important thing
about being a man
Is learning to entice--
Nay, entrap the ladies.
And I've got the perfect system
to do this.
Hand me that pig's blood.
[applause]
(eunice)
thank you, thank you.
And we will not rest
Until every woman
everywhere
Has the right to vote!
[applause]
Kill yourself!
(eunice)
what is happening?
Move over, bowery boys.
What is happening is,
you're trying to ruin
A permanent vacation
for half the species.
Yeah, and no one ruins
vacations except for me
When I've had too much
or too little sugar!
If women are allowed to vote,
it could lead to a world
Where women become doctors
or lawyers
Or, god forbid,
tennis players.
Yeah, that's bad!
You don't know
what you're talking about.
Women should make
their own decisions.
You can't just let men
buy you things.
Well, obviously,
you have no idea
What it's like to be pretty.
Hit it, beatrice.
[playing yankee doodle]
I have a dream,
A dream where women
will never be allowed
To vote, own property,
or handle money.
I have a dream
That women will stay
as they currently are.
We are in the golden age
Of women not having
to do anything.
Let's keep it that way.
Yeah, women shouldn't
have voices!
Raise your hand
if you don't want to vote.
(both)
no votes for women!
No votes for women!
No,
votes for women!
(both)
no votes for women!
(all)
no, votes for women!
Oh, we're all saying
the same thing.
No votes for women.
No, I have a period
Between "no"
and "votes for women."
Ew, that's disgusting.
And "h."
If all else fails,
hit them.
H-a-m-I-s-h.
Hamish.
Patent pending.
And you say this works
every time?
(hamish)
I haven't struck out yet.
I've been working a slow burn
on blanche
For the last six years.
Soon she will be like elk liver
in my hands.
(hamish)
so, ready to try one out?
Frederick, stand up.
Garfield,
pretend to be a woman.
No, use me.
I'm twice the woman she is.
Fine.
[giggles]
That a boy.
Way to bring the heat.
Now, let's try
a little aggression.
You have a small wee-wee.
Oh, all right.
Not a very applicable
insult for women,
But you get the idea.
Now, mesmerize.
[soft string music]
I feel like I'm drowning
in your eyes.
Exactly.
Isolate!
Now say her name.
Vigtar.
My name is...Victor.
Really? That doesn't sound
like a name at all.
That's my name,
is victor.
- Victor?
- Yes.
It's always
been my name.
No, vigtar is your name.
- No, vic--
- vigtar--
(hamish)
just hit her!
Oh!
I said hit her!
Yes, hit her!
Just do it!
Make me feel something.
God, I can't.
I'm sorry.
Hitting a woman seems
almost unnatural to me.
Oh, maybe I am a homosexual.
(hamish)
everyone in that house
seems gay to me.
[chuckles]
Ooh.
[moaning]
What is--
[moaning]
[giggling]
Oh...Oh...
Mm.
[giggles]
Mm.
Oh.
[laughs]
[moaning]
[moaning]
[both moaning]
Oh, I've got one more
blood sausage for you to taste.
♪ I'm the king, baby ♪
♪ I'm the boss ♪
Yes, celine!
Okay.
I'm done.
No, I'm so close!
I know.
That's why I'm done.
[whimpering]
You torture me so.
Oh, I love you.
You've never
said that before.
Well, we've never
discussed this
When I was so close
to orgasming.
If you love me, prove it.
I'll do anything
for you.
I want a bedroom.
Upstairs.
I'll see what I can do,
But you must be patient.
[blows air]
[gasps]
[groans]
Look at that!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
The volume is...
Unbelievable.
[groaning]
[sighs]
(commodore)
oh!
A second!
This is rare.
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
No votes for women!
You cream-sucking bitches
Need to get off the stage.
[shouting]
[women screaming]
[glass shatters]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[glass shatters]
[screaming]
- No!
- Let me do it!
[groaning]
Aah!
Stop!
Stop it!
Stop fighting!
You have all
contracted hysteria.
[squish]
aah!
Oh!
Oh, I don't really care
if women get to vote.
I'm rich;
laws don't affect me.
Plus, I just felt like
ruining hortense's day.
(beatrice)
I care.
Women shouldn't get to vote
for another million years.
How did I get hysteria?
Am I gonna go to heaven
like uncle buster?
No.
But it is believed
that female sex moisture
Turns venomous if not released
through regular climax.
What?
Oh, no.
I haven't climaxed
Since horseback riding lessons
when I was a girl.
No one worry.
Pater freud is here.
Now, blanche, please,
Stimulate beatrice
with a feather,
Lightly at first.
Um...
Oh, [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep]!
Yeah, yeah, uh-huh,
uh-huh, [bleep]!
[beatrice moaning]
Ah!
Hmm.
[beatrice sighs]
Did you already orgasm?
Is that where I get
the quiver-shakes,
And I'm transported to a ghost
purgatory on a beam of light
And then I ask for forgiveness?
I've never seen this before.
Blanche, continue.
Let's see if beatrice
has multi-orgasms.
Ah!
Yeah.
[moaning, screaming]
Mm.
Well, I'd say you're cured.
I will treat this patient
myself.
[device buzzing]
[grunts]
Now, pelvic contractions
Will release pent-up
uterine energies
Which have been
affecting your moods.
If you want to improve
my mood,
You're gonna need to use
another finger.
Now, dodo, in some elderly
specimens such as yourself,
A more strident course
of stimulation is required.
Servant, begin.
[bike whirring]
Faster, garfield,
faster!
Faster, faster!
[women moaning]
Remember when I was going to
make all those laws you wanted?
- I can't.
- Oh, no.
Did you get fired
from the senate
For having
excitement pee?
No, I--
I have homosexual disease.
Oh, no.
Dr. Floyd is on his way,
And I'm going to tell him
that the treatment's failed.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
I don't think so.
I have to start having
sexual relations with men.
It's doctor's orders.
This is all my fault.
Why is it your fault?
I don't know.
I just like to make
everything about myself.
That's why I love you.
So confusing.
Yeah.
I'm a confirmed
homosexual,
And yet everything
in my body
Is telling me to pull
off your robe
And slide myself
into your pubic mound.
And yet you can't.
And yet it feels
so right.
Why must I be
a homosexual?
Why?!
Ugh!
(dr. Freud)
what is going on in here?
Nothing!
Frederick, look at you.
You are cured.
The masculinity training
must have done the trick.
I officially declare you
a non-homosexual.
Oh, frederick,
I'm so proud of you.
You're not concerned at all
with the fact
That I'm having sex
with my sister?
Seems perfectly natural
to me.
Carry on.
There comes a time
in every man's life
When he must choose
between doing
What his mother
wants him to do
And what his sister
wants him to do.
And I've realized
that my country needs me
In washington, b.C.
Yes, let's go.
What is going on
in here?
What is going on in here?
(hortense)
what is going on in here?
What are you doing?
What the hell was that?
What the hell was that?
What is happening?
What? What is it?
What do you want?
What is this?
What is this, baltimore?
♪ ♪
[groaning]
Welcome home.
[laughing]
Oh.
Oh, my dumb
little dumplings.
I'm missed your faces.
Oh, father...
We've missed your gifts.
And who is this?
(commodore)
oh, dodo,
Showing your provincial roots
again?
You don't recognize celebrated
chef chauncey allister?
(chauncey)
you told me your daughters
were beautiful,
But you mentioned
the word "perfection."
I've never seen
a creature so...
Robustly formed.
(commodore)
I have a big surprise for you.
Last week,
senator ambrose burnside
Died in a freak mustache fire.
Yay, thank you, daddy!
That's not
the surprise.
(commodore)
a u.S. Senate seat
has become available.
And frederick,
You shall fill it.
How is frederick qualified
to be a senator?
He believes rocks
are alive.
(frederick)
that is ridiculous.
Some of the older rocks
have passed away.
(commodore)
how does it feel, son?
You are to be appointed
the next u.S. Senator
From the state of rhode island.
I am deeply honored
And very excited
for this opportunity.
I only have one question.
What is senate?
[hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
Is being a senator
a job?
Mm, it's more
like a drinking club
That decides the laws.
Does that mean we
can make the laws?
That's exactly what it means.
We're gonna be able to pass
any law we want.
Oof!
Milady, could you not
Aim for my face next time?
(lillian)
you can't talk to us
like that, blanche.
I'll have your head
cut off.
Can you imagine blanche
without a head?
[laughter]
You know beheadings
aren't legal anymore.
(lillian)
tell that to the head dump
Father had built on
the south end of the estate.
(hortense)
all right, sisters,
clear the space.
I have this room reserved
for my meeting today.
Oh!
You can't have a meeting
during cream time.
There's no such thing
as cream time!
Yes, there is,
it's in the bible.
(hortense)
you're throwing cream puffs
at my sign?
Oh, no we suck the cream out.
We're just
throwing the casings.
[blanche yelps]
You are such pigs!
(hortense)
you know, now that frederick
and I are politically active,
It makes your decadent laziness
all the more obscene.
We are not lazy.
Let's move cream time
elsewhere.
Bye, hortense.
Those jack-a-ninnies
in washington
Insist that frederick
be psychologically vetted
Before he become a senator,
So they sent dr. Sigmund freud
to examine my boy.
Name?
Frederick.
Age?
[breathes deeply]
These questions
are getting really hard.
Do you understand
what a question is?
Well...
Now who's asking
the questions?
[chuckles]
Still me.
(commodore)
you wanted to see me?
This better be important.
I've called you in here
to remind you
That, according to
our marital contract,
I am to fellate you
seven times a year.
I told you, the saltpeter
mines of the congo
Destroyed my sex drive.
I'm so sorry.
- Come here.
- I want you so badly.
Just wanted to feel
close to my husband.
Yes, I feel the same.
Peepers.
I already filled
the syringe, madam.
[sighs]
[moans]
Peepers...
[crying]
I fear that commodore
is having an affair.
Put the tray over there.
If you want your food,
You're going to have
to come and get it.
No!
Hands and knees.
You're going to crawl.
He called out the name "celine"
in his sleep.
Sounds french-canadian.
No!
Ugh.
I move in here
based on the promise
From some pathetic old fool
That it would be
a nice place to keep me close.
Then the bastard disappears.
The thought of him
engaging in sexual congress
With a snow-negro...
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, darling.
Why don't you show me
just how sorry you are?
Oh...
Yes, my mistress.
[exhales]
You look like you climbed
Out of a pile
of dirty underwear.
Leave me alone, troll.
Don't you have a bridge
to guard?
I quit that job.
Too much billy goat shit.
So that's
your scheme, huh?
Feeding your fish
to the commodore?
It's pretty obvious.
Ugh!
Ah, what are you--
You always did know
how to make me horny.
You say a word,
and you are dead man.
Death don't scare me.
I've saved up 50 cents.
That'll do.
For now.
I'm gonna blackmail
the shit out of her.
[rhythmic creaking]
Well, suffragettes,
My pitch for
our new slogan.
It's straight
to the point.
Feels a little
"on the nose."
I've been working
on something
I'm quite happy with.
We're strong, we're sober,
We're virgins.
Uh, we're not virgins,
hortense.
You're not?
No, we have sex
all the time.
(deb)
look, all I want
is for us to vote
And to get reamed
from time to time.
Next law: Mandatory
bow ties on all dogs.
Of course.
Ooh, and can we put cream time
in the bible?
- Mm-hmm.
- And chowder bath.
It's my second favorite bath
we take on tuesdays.
(frederick)
these are all wonderful ideas.
(beatrice)
hmm, what else?
What is going on in here?
Ooh, I know, I want you
to make a law against hortense.
Done.
Laws don't work like that,
And you should know that
if you're going to be a senator.
Do you even know the three
branches of government?
(frederick)
sure I do.
The nina, the pinta,
and the santa clausaria.
See?
He knows.
(lillian)
well, someone better
tell the press
To dust off their adjectives
for "beautiful,"
Because beatrice and I
are going to be
The face of this
political dynasty.
(hortense)
I'm sure it will lake
your asses to know
That the press will be attending
my rally this afternoon.
(lillian)
oh, are they doing a story
On using the color brown
to accentuate face moles?
[laughter]
They're covering me
because I have a cause,
Something I care deeply about.
You should really
try it sometime.
I don't care about anything.
As don't I.
[lillian and beatrice scream]
I just realized my cause.
(beatrice)
what is it?
Ruining hortense's cause.
♪ regatta, baby ♪
Well, dr. Freud,
Do you have the results
of frederick's exam?
I do, and based
on my observations,
Frederick suffers
From latent and acute
homosexuality.
[coughing]
[wheezing furiously]
That is disgusting!
A homosexual in our family?!
Using our toilets?
The idea roils my stomach!
[spits]
Ugh!
[tray clattering]
Well, that is a perfectly
normal reaction.
After all, homosexuality
is an abomination.
Am I going to die?
Homosexuality
is quite curable.
[sighs]
There are lots
of approaches.
There is soaking
in the blood
Of a dying clydesdale.
There is eating
a live wolverine,
Slathering one's genitals
In a paste of milk
and ground elephant tusk,
Leeches on the anus,
An electrical current
to the anus.
Also training
in the masculine arts.
(commodore)
he'll be sworn in as senator
on Friday.
You give us until then
to file the report.
We'll beat this.
To be queer
or not to be queer,
That is the queer-stion.
[lightning crashes]
Whether to live my life
as a homo-szechwan
Or the fight the good fight
and cure myself
Of this terrible
and somewhat tempting disease.
[thunder crashes]
[bell tolls]
Excuse me, chef?
I was wondering if you could
make some more hors d'oeuvres.
My sisters sucked the fillings
out of all of the canapes.
Mm, serving you would be
a most delicious pleasure.
Oh, uh,
well, we should hurry.
I don't want
to miss the meeting.
I'm a man who likes
to take his time.
I like to eat a dish
when it's...
Ready to be eaten.
Oh...
Can you wait?
Ye--[wheezing]
[whispers] yes.
[gulps]
yes.
♪ billionaire, billionaire ♪
♪ bitch, kiss the ring ♪
[knocking]
What, what is it?
What do you want?
Father said you could instruct
me in the art of manhood.
Ah, that I can.
I help homosexuals
stop making the choice
To be homosexuals.
It's a hobby.
Now, the most important thing
about being a man
Is learning to entice--
Nay, entrap the ladies.
And I've got the perfect system
to do this.
Hand me that pig's blood.
[applause]
(eunice)
thank you, thank you.
And we will not rest
Until every woman
everywhere
Has the right to vote!
[applause]
Kill yourself!
(eunice)
what is happening?
Move over, bowery boys.
What is happening is,
you're trying to ruin
A permanent vacation
for half the species.
Yeah, and no one ruins
vacations except for me
When I've had too much
or too little sugar!
If women are allowed to vote,
it could lead to a world
Where women become doctors
or lawyers
Or, god forbid,
tennis players.
Yeah, that's bad!
You don't know
what you're talking about.
Women should make
their own decisions.
You can't just let men
buy you things.
Well, obviously,
you have no idea
What it's like to be pretty.
Hit it, beatrice.
[playing yankee doodle]
I have a dream,
A dream where women
will never be allowed
To vote, own property,
or handle money.
I have a dream
That women will stay
as they currently are.
We are in the golden age
Of women not having
to do anything.
Let's keep it that way.
Yeah, women shouldn't
have voices!
Raise your hand
if you don't want to vote.
(both)
no votes for women!
No votes for women!
No,
votes for women!
(both)
no votes for women!
(all)
no, votes for women!
Oh, we're all saying
the same thing.
No votes for women.
No, I have a period
Between "no"
and "votes for women."
Ew, that's disgusting.
And "h."
If all else fails,
hit them.
H-a-m-I-s-h.
Hamish.
Patent pending.
And you say this works
every time?
(hamish)
I haven't struck out yet.
I've been working a slow burn
on blanche
For the last six years.
Soon she will be like elk liver
in my hands.
(hamish)
so, ready to try one out?
Frederick, stand up.
Garfield,
pretend to be a woman.
No, use me.
I'm twice the woman she is.
Fine.
[giggles]
That a boy.
Way to bring the heat.
Now, let's try
a little aggression.
You have a small wee-wee.
Oh, all right.
Not a very applicable
insult for women,
But you get the idea.
Now, mesmerize.
[soft string music]
I feel like I'm drowning
in your eyes.
Exactly.
Isolate!
Now say her name.
Vigtar.
My name is...Victor.
Really? That doesn't sound
like a name at all.
That's my name,
is victor.
- Victor?
- Yes.
It's always
been my name.
No, vigtar is your name.
- No, vic--
- vigtar--
(hamish)
just hit her!
Oh!
I said hit her!
Yes, hit her!
Just do it!
Make me feel something.
God, I can't.
I'm sorry.
Hitting a woman seems
almost unnatural to me.
Oh, maybe I am a homosexual.
(hamish)
everyone in that house
seems gay to me.
[chuckles]
Ooh.
[moaning]
What is--
[moaning]
[giggling]
Oh...Oh...
Mm.
[giggles]
Mm.
Oh.
[laughs]
[moaning]
[moaning]
[both moaning]
Oh, I've got one more
blood sausage for you to taste.
♪ I'm the king, baby ♪
♪ I'm the boss ♪
Yes, celine!
Okay.
I'm done.
No, I'm so close!
I know.
That's why I'm done.
[whimpering]
You torture me so.
Oh, I love you.
You've never
said that before.
Well, we've never
discussed this
When I was so close
to orgasming.
If you love me, prove it.
I'll do anything
for you.
I want a bedroom.
Upstairs.
I'll see what I can do,
But you must be patient.
[blows air]
[gasps]
[groans]
Look at that!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
The volume is...
Unbelievable.
[groaning]
[sighs]
(commodore)
oh!
A second!
This is rare.
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
No votes for women!
You cream-sucking bitches
Need to get off the stage.
[shouting]
[women screaming]
[glass shatters]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[glass shatters]
[screaming]
- No!
- Let me do it!
[groaning]
Aah!
Stop!
Stop it!
Stop fighting!
You have all
contracted hysteria.
[squish]
aah!
Oh!
Oh, I don't really care
if women get to vote.
I'm rich;
laws don't affect me.
Plus, I just felt like
ruining hortense's day.
(beatrice)
I care.
Women shouldn't get to vote
for another million years.
How did I get hysteria?
Am I gonna go to heaven
like uncle buster?
No.
But it is believed
that female sex moisture
Turns venomous if not released
through regular climax.
What?
Oh, no.
I haven't climaxed
Since horseback riding lessons
when I was a girl.
No one worry.
Pater freud is here.
Now, blanche, please,
Stimulate beatrice
with a feather,
Lightly at first.
Um...
Oh, [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep]!
Yeah, yeah, uh-huh,
uh-huh, [bleep]!
[beatrice moaning]
Ah!
Hmm.
[beatrice sighs]
Did you already orgasm?
Is that where I get
the quiver-shakes,
And I'm transported to a ghost
purgatory on a beam of light
And then I ask for forgiveness?
I've never seen this before.
Blanche, continue.
Let's see if beatrice
has multi-orgasms.
Ah!
Yeah.
[moaning, screaming]
Mm.
Well, I'd say you're cured.
I will treat this patient
myself.
[device buzzing]
[grunts]
Now, pelvic contractions
Will release pent-up
uterine energies
Which have been
affecting your moods.
If you want to improve
my mood,
You're gonna need to use
another finger.
Now, dodo, in some elderly
specimens such as yourself,
A more strident course
of stimulation is required.
Servant, begin.
[bike whirring]
Faster, garfield,
faster!
Faster, faster!
[women moaning]
Remember when I was going to
make all those laws you wanted?
- I can't.
- Oh, no.
Did you get fired
from the senate
For having
excitement pee?
No, I--
I have homosexual disease.
Oh, no.
Dr. Floyd is on his way,
And I'm going to tell him
that the treatment's failed.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
I don't think so.
I have to start having
sexual relations with men.
It's doctor's orders.
This is all my fault.
Why is it your fault?
I don't know.
I just like to make
everything about myself.
That's why I love you.
So confusing.
Yeah.
I'm a confirmed
homosexual,
And yet everything
in my body
Is telling me to pull
off your robe
And slide myself
into your pubic mound.
And yet you can't.
And yet it feels
so right.
Why must I be
a homosexual?
Why?!
Ugh!
(dr. Freud)
what is going on in here?
Nothing!
Frederick, look at you.
You are cured.
The masculinity training
must have done the trick.
I officially declare you
a non-homosexual.
Oh, frederick,
I'm so proud of you.
You're not concerned at all
with the fact
That I'm having sex
with my sister?
Seems perfectly natural
to me.
Carry on.
There comes a time
in every man's life
When he must choose
between doing
What his mother
wants him to do
And what his sister
wants him to do.
And I've realized
that my country needs me
In washington, b.C.
Yes, let's go.
What is going on
in here?
What is going on in here?
(hortense)
what is going on in here?
What are you doing?
What the hell was that?
What the hell was that?
What is happening?
What? What is it?
What do you want?
What is this?
What is this, baltimore?