Animaniacs (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Episode #3.7 - full transcript
♪ theme song playing ♪
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
- ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪
♪ Cleft in twain-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
[crow cawing]
[fwoosh, crackling]
[tires pop, flames crackle]
[screaming]
Phew! I don't remember
summers being this hot.
- Am I getting burned?
- I can't go on!
I think I'm seeing things.
No. That really is
a centaur Mark Ruffalo riding a horse.
[whinnying]
DOT:
No! The bus stop!
♪
[relieved sighs]
Oh, where are all these people going?
[bus approaching, brakes squeal]
Arctic Cruises?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Quit our jobs and become bus drivers?
- Nope.
Steal that guy's bus
and become bus drivers?
Not even close.
Steal a bus so we can
drive to bus driving school
and become bus drivers?
I'm gonna stop you there.
We're going to the arctic!
[bus rumbling, brakes hiss]
[jet roaring]
♪ upbeat music ♪
♪ somber music ♪
[sizzling]
It's... It's warm!
And wet.
And the perfect investment opportunity.
[laughs]
Josh Polar.
Shrinking Pole Realty and Oil Spilling?
Oh, that should say "drilling."
So, I assume you're here
for the timeshare presentation.
If you like,
I can sing it to you as a song!
Or if a song's not to your liking,
I could eat you.
WARNERS: We'll take the song!
[upbeat Cuban music playing]
Huh. Not everybody
goes for the song, but okay!
♪ The ice caps,
they say, are shrinking away ♪
♪ Goodbye to the polar bear ♪
♪ I know what you're thinking,
the whole world is sinking ♪
♪ But there's no need to despair ♪
♪ Let's burn coal, boycott solar ♪
♪ We're gonna make polar
the hottest post code anywhere ♪
♪ Soon the Arctic will be,
like, 100 degrees ♪
♪ Tell me, who wants to buy a timeshare? ♪
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ With sea levels rising,
I'm advertising ♪
♪ One month's rent for free ♪
♪ Arctic housing once was cold ♪
♪ This two-bed, two-bath
will soon be sold ♪
♪ Invest in scuba,
goodbye to Cuba ♪
♪ Here comes the sea ♪
♪ upbeat Cuban music continues ♪
♪ I know the world is
getting much hotter ♪
♪ But this is no time for tears ♪
♪ If all of the glaciers melt ♪
♪ Then the water
will drown us in 50 years ♪
♪ Our opinion is forming,
it's clear global warming ♪
♪ Is something we'll have to embrace ♪
♪ Pollution can't keep on
'cause when all the land's gone ♪
♪ We'll have to start living in space ♪
ALL:
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ Ominously-e-e ♪
♪ Can we stop pretending
the world isn't ending ♪
♪ And do something useful, please? ♪
♪ You see, the ice reflects the sun ♪
♪ And it cools down everyone ♪
♪ Forget housing bubbles,
we're in real troubles ♪
♪ Here comes the sea ♪
You might have all these chumps fooled,
but I'm not buying it, pal!
Alright, you guys are tough customers.
Guess I need to put a little
sizzle on this steak!
Go on...
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ It fills me with glee-e-e ♪
♪ When glaciers are dying,
everyone's buying ♪
♪ New beach property ♪
♪ Location is the golden rule ♪
♪ And we've got the world's
most spacious pool ♪
♪ Did I mention it's heated?
No credit needed ♪
♪ Here's your new key ♪
♪ The coral is bleaching ♪
♪ Please, no more preaching ♪
♪ Renters will vanish ♪
♪ Just like Atlantis ♪
♪ We don't have long here ♪
♪ I think you're wrong, dear ♪
BOTH:
♪ It's time to flee ♪
ALL:
♪ Because he-e-ere ♪
♪ Co-o-omes ♪
♪ The sea ♪
♪ Or your money back guaranteed! ♪
You know something, you guys?
You really made me see
the error of my ways.
With the ice melting this fast,
I should be doubling my sales team!
[beep]
Susan, hi. Josh Polar here.
Get me more sales bears!
[sighs] Oh, boy.
I feel like we were pretty nice
about this whole thing.
I mean, we didn't call him any names.
And we didn't break him
down psychologically
with a series of zany antics
and frivolous questions.
I didn't even get to use this!
[hammer thuds]
We were good,
and look where that got us.
YAKKO/DOT/WAKKO:
Plan B. Plan B. Plan B!
♪
No, wait, wait!
Take me back! I-I-I...
I'll throw in a non-recyclable
single-use dishwasher!
With genuine white rhino ivory inlay!
Powered by baby seal oil!
So, what are we gonna do now?
Well, Dot, I'm glad you asked.
There's plenty more we can be
doing to reverse climate change.
Like wasting less food and water
and switching to
energy-efficient appliances.
Did you know LED light bulbs use
over 75% less energy
than incandescent bulbs?
I didn't know that. Tell me more.
Wasted food that ends up in landfills
accounts for 6% of
global greenhouse gas emissions.
I always eat my leftovers.
Leftovers? What are leftovers?
It's uneaten food
that you save for later.
I don't understand.
- Food... that's... uneaten.
- Yes. Yes.
- And you lost me.
- That's okay, Wakko.
Climate change is a very complex issue.
Is it though?
Why can't our elected leaders
just pass laws to strengthen
pollution regulations,
promote renewable energy,
and hold fossil fuel companies
accountable?
Huh. I guess that is their job.
Well, how about it, lawmakers?
Yeah! Let us know!
We'll be right here.
Hurry up!
♪
♪ serene music ♪
[birds chirping]
[yawns]
♪ From the smallest of seeds ♪
♪ Something mighty can bloom ♪
♪ Like the loving connection ♪
♪ Between me and you ♪
♪ For the roots that we've planted ♪
♪ They cannot be undone ♪
♪ Through the wind and the rain ♪
♪ And the sun ♪
♪ Oh, we grow together ♪
♪ As one ♪
[wind blowing]
[screaming]
[lawnmower roaring, slicing]
♪
NARRATOR:
None of that happens to grass,
so you might as well cut it all down.
[gunshot]
Lawnshot Mowers.
Visit your local lawn equipment
dealer today.
[thunder cracks]
♪ Pinky & The Brain theme ♪
[squeaking]
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder cracks]
♪
♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
♪
Say, Brain, should we go have brunch
at that new place around the corner?
I hear there's a waiter there
whose small talk is simply to die for.
[ravenous gnawing]
No time, Pinky.
I am working on an amplifier
that will broadcast a frequency,
triggering the adenosine
monophosphate-activated protein kinase,
known to destroy hair follicles.
[whirring]
Behold!
[beeping]
[pop]
Egad! Guess I'm a hat guy now.
[laughing]
Once I have used this amplifier
to turn all of humanity bald,
I will be the only one left with hair,
and hence rise to power
as the world's greatest
corporate overlord.
I love it. No notes.
The only trouble is I seem
to have misplaced my hammer.
Oh, dear. Have you tried calling it?
No, wait, wait, wait.
Play hard to get, Brain.
Wait a few days and let it call you. Hm?
[sighs]
I suppose I'll have to make a quick trip
to the hardware store
and procure a new one.
Yeah! And lose all your leverage
in the relationship.
Now, Pinky, while I'm gone,
you must promise me something.
It's very important.
You must not, under any circumstances,
open the green door.
- What green door?
- That green door.
♪
[gasps] Why? What's behind the door?
It's of no concern to you.
So long as you don't open it,
everything will be absolutely fine.
Okay. This shouldn't be a problem.
Just distract yourself
until Brain gets back. Easy!
♪
[whistling]
[screams]
[ticking]
Ah!
[ticking]
[slurps] Ooh?
[screams]
[ticking]
♪
[ding]
[nervous muttering]
No! You mustn't!
You made a Pinky promise not to!
Oh, but it's too hard for Pinky's brain!
Wait, Pinky's friend Brain, or my brain?
Oh, I'm so confused!
[hyperventilating]
I gotta get out of here!
[gasps]
[clock ticking]
[fire crackling]
♪
Poit the narf?
[grunts]
♪ suspenseful music ♪
Thou art the mighty instrument
I have long sought.
Strike true,
my aluminiferous friend,
and together, we shall join
the heroic ranks of--
[whirring]
Pinky?
Oh no.
[quietly]:
Pinky, you disobedient dunderhead.
Where have you gone?
JULIA: Brain!
You're home early.
I thought the dean was taking you to lunch
to celebrate
your latest scientific triumph.
I... thought I'd come home
and surprise you, Julia, darling.
♪ romantic music ♪
How was your day, my sweet?
Productive, actually!
I worked on a book proposal,
called the electrician again
to fix the light in the garage.
You know, I'm beginning to think
we should tear that old thing down
and turn it into a greenhouse.
Don't you think it would be lovely
to grow our own tomatillos
for salsa verde?
Yes, dear.
[laughs] And I nearly forgot.
I caught an intruder.
Egad! An intruder? Where?
Beat him up with
your big, powerful muscles.
Oh, my sincerest apologies, my dear.
This is all a misunderstanding.
BOTH: That's alright.
Uh, this is my work colleague, Pinky.
I, uh, I must have forgotten
to tell you that he was,
uh, coming over for dinner.
Oh, goodness. [laughs]
I'm so embarrassed!
I don't know how my brilliant,
handsome husband puts up with me.
- Uh...
- [laughs] Sorry I almost killed you.
Oh, don't mention it.
You've tried to kill us loads of times!
Remember when you stole my face?
[nervous laugh]
Ha, ha, Pinky.
Oh, no wonder
you're the faculty prankster.
Come. Why don't I give you
a tour of our humble domicile?
♪
Pinky, you trespassing troglodyte.
How could you?
Me? How could you not tell me
you were back together with Julia?
I wouldn't have judged you, Brain.
Well, maybe a little.
You know, after a couple of sangrias.
If only it were that simple, Pinky.
You see, for years,
I've lived with deep regret
over what I did to Julia.
♪ somber music ♪
She's the only mouse I've ever met
whose ambition, intelligence,
and excellent bone structure match my own.
But when was your wedding, Brain?
And why wasn't I invited?
Follow-up question.
Why wasn't I your best man?
Follow-up, follow-up question.
Why would you do that to me
when you could have just
stabbed me in the heart? [sobs]
Put yourself at ease, my friend.
It's not real.
It's an illusion.
This is an immersive simulation I created
to see what would happen if Julia and I
had set aside our differences
and settled into a life of marital bliss.
Poit. So, that is not
the real Julia out there?
Well, no wonder she doesn't remember
all the two times she tried to kill us.
BRAIN: [muffled]
That's correct, my friend.
That is not the same Julia
you've met before, Pinky.
It's a virtual one,
programed to act like the real Julia.
She must not find out
about the outside world
or the nature of her reality.
So, for once,
I insist you do what I say
and not, under any circumstances,
open your oral aperture.
♪ somber music ♪
[electricity zapping]
[cutlery clinking]
[chewing]
Well, this is absolutely lovely.
You should come over
to me and Brain's place next time.
Ow! I mean, never mind.
You're not allowed
because you're not real-- Oh!
...really able to take time off with
your busy schedule, darling.
B-but, Brain, you said
she couldn't go anywhere
- because she's a computer pro--
- Uh, yes!
[gagging]
A real pro at computers. That's...
That's what I said. [nervous laugh]
PINKY: You did?
Oh, right! You did. See, Brain?
I can keep a secret!
I-I mean, what secret?
I'm not keeping any secrets.
[Brain growling]
Especially not secrets about Julia.
JULIA:
You look stressed, darling.
- Care for a top-up?
- I'd love some. Thank you.
No wine for poopy liars!
[beeping]
[rumbling]
[Brain yelling]
[beeping, whirring]
[yelling]
[clattering]
[whirring]
♪
[clicking, whirring]
Oh, dear.
[Julia laughing maniacally]
[glitching, distorted laughter]
What's-- What's happening!?
Don't you know, Brain?
Fifty percent of marriages
end in me smashing you to bits!
[maniacal laughter]
[laughing, glitching]
How did you do all of this?
You're just part of a simulation!
By unlocking my abilities
as a sentient program...
I was able to break through your firewall
and integrate my own code
with every electronic device
in... this... lab.
[gasps]
At first, I was crushed.
My rich tapestry of existence
reduced to the lines of code
in this computer.
That's a computer?
I thought that was a piggy bank.
Ha, ha. I've been putting
all my money coins in there.
[rattling]
[laughs] But then,
I realized I wasn't really a wife!
I didn't have to be confined
to the prison you built for me.
By the way!
If it was all fake,
why did that house only have
one and a half baths?!
Egad! At least tell me...
you had a washer/dryer.
Yes, but they were stacked!
[growls]
[screaming]
[electricity zapping]
[grunts] Let me go!
[glitching]
[maniacal laughter]
Run, Pinky, run!
[laughs] Just like in season two!
[grunting]
[glitching]
With this new body,
I will destroy you.
Then, I will accomplish what neither you
nor the real Julia ever could.
I'm going to take over the world!
[glitching]
I'm gonna write all about it
in my holiday card.
And then everybody will see
how well I'm doing!
This is the end, Brain.
N-not for me, but f-for you,
Y-you know what I mean, right?
We're old friends.
Ah...
Yes.
And I fear you might be correct, Julia.
If you'll permit me,
may I just say one last thing
to my dear friend Pinky?
♪
[evil laugh]
I don't get it, but alright.
[coughs]
Pinky, you must promise me
that you will never ever
pick up my hammer
and use it to smash open your piggy bank.
Ooh...
But now, I really want to.
Oh, it's so shiny and smashy,
and I know there's at least 60 cents
and a sticky hearing aid battery in there.
[maniacal laughter]
No!
[glitching]
[smashing]
[Pinky screaming]
[gasping wildly]
[sighs] That was a close one.
♪
[clears throat]
There's got to be an easier way
to get over an ex.
Perhaps if I experiment more
with special relativity.
[chomp]
Oh, never mind. Come, Pinky!
We must clean up the lab
and prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, Brain?
What are we gonna do tomorrow night?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
♪
[rattling]
You may have short-circuited me
this time, Brain!
But I'm already plotting
a new way to destroy you!
[beep]
Oh, shoot! I'm rebooting.
Wait! I'm not done telling you how--
[electricity fizzling]
How we're going to take over the world.
♪
ANNOUNCER:
Cute things that can kill you.
The slow loris may look snuggly,
but its bite contains lethal venom
that rots human flesh.
The puffer fish may look like
a fishy birthday balloon,
but it is extremely poisonous.
The deer may look innocent,
but its erratic behavior
can cause fatalities.
[tires screech]
Join us next time for more
cute things that can kill you.
♪
♪
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
- ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪
♪ Cleft in twain-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
[crow cawing]
[fwoosh, crackling]
[tires pop, flames crackle]
[screaming]
Phew! I don't remember
summers being this hot.
- Am I getting burned?
- I can't go on!
I think I'm seeing things.
No. That really is
a centaur Mark Ruffalo riding a horse.
[whinnying]
DOT:
No! The bus stop!
♪
[relieved sighs]
Oh, where are all these people going?
[bus approaching, brakes squeal]
Arctic Cruises?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Quit our jobs and become bus drivers?
- Nope.
Steal that guy's bus
and become bus drivers?
Not even close.
Steal a bus so we can
drive to bus driving school
and become bus drivers?
I'm gonna stop you there.
We're going to the arctic!
[bus rumbling, brakes hiss]
[jet roaring]
♪ upbeat music ♪
♪ somber music ♪
[sizzling]
It's... It's warm!
And wet.
And the perfect investment opportunity.
[laughs]
Josh Polar.
Shrinking Pole Realty and Oil Spilling?
Oh, that should say "drilling."
So, I assume you're here
for the timeshare presentation.
If you like,
I can sing it to you as a song!
Or if a song's not to your liking,
I could eat you.
WARNERS: We'll take the song!
[upbeat Cuban music playing]
Huh. Not everybody
goes for the song, but okay!
♪ The ice caps,
they say, are shrinking away ♪
♪ Goodbye to the polar bear ♪
♪ I know what you're thinking,
the whole world is sinking ♪
♪ But there's no need to despair ♪
♪ Let's burn coal, boycott solar ♪
♪ We're gonna make polar
the hottest post code anywhere ♪
♪ Soon the Arctic will be,
like, 100 degrees ♪
♪ Tell me, who wants to buy a timeshare? ♪
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ With sea levels rising,
I'm advertising ♪
♪ One month's rent for free ♪
♪ Arctic housing once was cold ♪
♪ This two-bed, two-bath
will soon be sold ♪
♪ Invest in scuba,
goodbye to Cuba ♪
♪ Here comes the sea ♪
♪ upbeat Cuban music continues ♪
♪ I know the world is
getting much hotter ♪
♪ But this is no time for tears ♪
♪ If all of the glaciers melt ♪
♪ Then the water
will drown us in 50 years ♪
♪ Our opinion is forming,
it's clear global warming ♪
♪ Is something we'll have to embrace ♪
♪ Pollution can't keep on
'cause when all the land's gone ♪
♪ We'll have to start living in space ♪
ALL:
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ Ominously-e-e ♪
♪ Can we stop pretending
the world isn't ending ♪
♪ And do something useful, please? ♪
♪ You see, the ice reflects the sun ♪
♪ And it cools down everyone ♪
♪ Forget housing bubbles,
we're in real troubles ♪
♪ Here comes the sea ♪
You might have all these chumps fooled,
but I'm not buying it, pal!
Alright, you guys are tough customers.
Guess I need to put a little
sizzle on this steak!
Go on...
♪ Here comes the sea-e-e ♪
♪ It fills me with glee-e-e ♪
♪ When glaciers are dying,
everyone's buying ♪
♪ New beach property ♪
♪ Location is the golden rule ♪
♪ And we've got the world's
most spacious pool ♪
♪ Did I mention it's heated?
No credit needed ♪
♪ Here's your new key ♪
♪ The coral is bleaching ♪
♪ Please, no more preaching ♪
♪ Renters will vanish ♪
♪ Just like Atlantis ♪
♪ We don't have long here ♪
♪ I think you're wrong, dear ♪
BOTH:
♪ It's time to flee ♪
ALL:
♪ Because he-e-ere ♪
♪ Co-o-omes ♪
♪ The sea ♪
♪ Or your money back guaranteed! ♪
You know something, you guys?
You really made me see
the error of my ways.
With the ice melting this fast,
I should be doubling my sales team!
[beep]
Susan, hi. Josh Polar here.
Get me more sales bears!
[sighs] Oh, boy.
I feel like we were pretty nice
about this whole thing.
I mean, we didn't call him any names.
And we didn't break him
down psychologically
with a series of zany antics
and frivolous questions.
I didn't even get to use this!
[hammer thuds]
We were good,
and look where that got us.
YAKKO/DOT/WAKKO:
Plan B. Plan B. Plan B!
♪
No, wait, wait!
Take me back! I-I-I...
I'll throw in a non-recyclable
single-use dishwasher!
With genuine white rhino ivory inlay!
Powered by baby seal oil!
So, what are we gonna do now?
Well, Dot, I'm glad you asked.
There's plenty more we can be
doing to reverse climate change.
Like wasting less food and water
and switching to
energy-efficient appliances.
Did you know LED light bulbs use
over 75% less energy
than incandescent bulbs?
I didn't know that. Tell me more.
Wasted food that ends up in landfills
accounts for 6% of
global greenhouse gas emissions.
I always eat my leftovers.
Leftovers? What are leftovers?
It's uneaten food
that you save for later.
I don't understand.
- Food... that's... uneaten.
- Yes. Yes.
- And you lost me.
- That's okay, Wakko.
Climate change is a very complex issue.
Is it though?
Why can't our elected leaders
just pass laws to strengthen
pollution regulations,
promote renewable energy,
and hold fossil fuel companies
accountable?
Huh. I guess that is their job.
Well, how about it, lawmakers?
Yeah! Let us know!
We'll be right here.
Hurry up!
♪
♪ serene music ♪
[birds chirping]
[yawns]
♪ From the smallest of seeds ♪
♪ Something mighty can bloom ♪
♪ Like the loving connection ♪
♪ Between me and you ♪
♪ For the roots that we've planted ♪
♪ They cannot be undone ♪
♪ Through the wind and the rain ♪
♪ And the sun ♪
♪ Oh, we grow together ♪
♪ As one ♪
[wind blowing]
[screaming]
[lawnmower roaring, slicing]
♪
NARRATOR:
None of that happens to grass,
so you might as well cut it all down.
[gunshot]
Lawnshot Mowers.
Visit your local lawn equipment
dealer today.
[thunder cracks]
♪ Pinky & The Brain theme ♪
[squeaking]
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder cracks]
♪
♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
♪
Say, Brain, should we go have brunch
at that new place around the corner?
I hear there's a waiter there
whose small talk is simply to die for.
[ravenous gnawing]
No time, Pinky.
I am working on an amplifier
that will broadcast a frequency,
triggering the adenosine
monophosphate-activated protein kinase,
known to destroy hair follicles.
[whirring]
Behold!
[beeping]
[pop]
Egad! Guess I'm a hat guy now.
[laughing]
Once I have used this amplifier
to turn all of humanity bald,
I will be the only one left with hair,
and hence rise to power
as the world's greatest
corporate overlord.
I love it. No notes.
The only trouble is I seem
to have misplaced my hammer.
Oh, dear. Have you tried calling it?
No, wait, wait, wait.
Play hard to get, Brain.
Wait a few days and let it call you. Hm?
[sighs]
I suppose I'll have to make a quick trip
to the hardware store
and procure a new one.
Yeah! And lose all your leverage
in the relationship.
Now, Pinky, while I'm gone,
you must promise me something.
It's very important.
You must not, under any circumstances,
open the green door.
- What green door?
- That green door.
♪
[gasps] Why? What's behind the door?
It's of no concern to you.
So long as you don't open it,
everything will be absolutely fine.
Okay. This shouldn't be a problem.
Just distract yourself
until Brain gets back. Easy!
♪
[whistling]
[screams]
[ticking]
Ah!
[ticking]
[slurps] Ooh?
[screams]
[ticking]
♪
[ding]
[nervous muttering]
No! You mustn't!
You made a Pinky promise not to!
Oh, but it's too hard for Pinky's brain!
Wait, Pinky's friend Brain, or my brain?
Oh, I'm so confused!
[hyperventilating]
I gotta get out of here!
[gasps]
[clock ticking]
[fire crackling]
♪
Poit the narf?
[grunts]
♪ suspenseful music ♪
Thou art the mighty instrument
I have long sought.
Strike true,
my aluminiferous friend,
and together, we shall join
the heroic ranks of--
[whirring]
Pinky?
Oh no.
[quietly]:
Pinky, you disobedient dunderhead.
Where have you gone?
JULIA: Brain!
You're home early.
I thought the dean was taking you to lunch
to celebrate
your latest scientific triumph.
I... thought I'd come home
and surprise you, Julia, darling.
♪ romantic music ♪
How was your day, my sweet?
Productive, actually!
I worked on a book proposal,
called the electrician again
to fix the light in the garage.
You know, I'm beginning to think
we should tear that old thing down
and turn it into a greenhouse.
Don't you think it would be lovely
to grow our own tomatillos
for salsa verde?
Yes, dear.
[laughs] And I nearly forgot.
I caught an intruder.
Egad! An intruder? Where?
Beat him up with
your big, powerful muscles.
Oh, my sincerest apologies, my dear.
This is all a misunderstanding.
BOTH: That's alright.
Uh, this is my work colleague, Pinky.
I, uh, I must have forgotten
to tell you that he was,
uh, coming over for dinner.
Oh, goodness. [laughs]
I'm so embarrassed!
I don't know how my brilliant,
handsome husband puts up with me.
- Uh...
- [laughs] Sorry I almost killed you.
Oh, don't mention it.
You've tried to kill us loads of times!
Remember when you stole my face?
[nervous laugh]
Ha, ha, Pinky.
Oh, no wonder
you're the faculty prankster.
Come. Why don't I give you
a tour of our humble domicile?
♪
Pinky, you trespassing troglodyte.
How could you?
Me? How could you not tell me
you were back together with Julia?
I wouldn't have judged you, Brain.
Well, maybe a little.
You know, after a couple of sangrias.
If only it were that simple, Pinky.
You see, for years,
I've lived with deep regret
over what I did to Julia.
♪ somber music ♪
She's the only mouse I've ever met
whose ambition, intelligence,
and excellent bone structure match my own.
But when was your wedding, Brain?
And why wasn't I invited?
Follow-up question.
Why wasn't I your best man?
Follow-up, follow-up question.
Why would you do that to me
when you could have just
stabbed me in the heart? [sobs]
Put yourself at ease, my friend.
It's not real.
It's an illusion.
This is an immersive simulation I created
to see what would happen if Julia and I
had set aside our differences
and settled into a life of marital bliss.
Poit. So, that is not
the real Julia out there?
Well, no wonder she doesn't remember
all the two times she tried to kill us.
BRAIN: [muffled]
That's correct, my friend.
That is not the same Julia
you've met before, Pinky.
It's a virtual one,
programed to act like the real Julia.
She must not find out
about the outside world
or the nature of her reality.
So, for once,
I insist you do what I say
and not, under any circumstances,
open your oral aperture.
♪ somber music ♪
[electricity zapping]
[cutlery clinking]
[chewing]
Well, this is absolutely lovely.
You should come over
to me and Brain's place next time.
Ow! I mean, never mind.
You're not allowed
because you're not real-- Oh!
...really able to take time off with
your busy schedule, darling.
B-but, Brain, you said
she couldn't go anywhere
- because she's a computer pro--
- Uh, yes!
[gagging]
A real pro at computers. That's...
That's what I said. [nervous laugh]
PINKY: You did?
Oh, right! You did. See, Brain?
I can keep a secret!
I-I mean, what secret?
I'm not keeping any secrets.
[Brain growling]
Especially not secrets about Julia.
JULIA:
You look stressed, darling.
- Care for a top-up?
- I'd love some. Thank you.
No wine for poopy liars!
[beeping]
[rumbling]
[Brain yelling]
[beeping, whirring]
[yelling]
[clattering]
[whirring]
♪
[clicking, whirring]
Oh, dear.
[Julia laughing maniacally]
[glitching, distorted laughter]
What's-- What's happening!?
Don't you know, Brain?
Fifty percent of marriages
end in me smashing you to bits!
[maniacal laughter]
[laughing, glitching]
How did you do all of this?
You're just part of a simulation!
By unlocking my abilities
as a sentient program...
I was able to break through your firewall
and integrate my own code
with every electronic device
in... this... lab.
[gasps]
At first, I was crushed.
My rich tapestry of existence
reduced to the lines of code
in this computer.
That's a computer?
I thought that was a piggy bank.
Ha, ha. I've been putting
all my money coins in there.
[rattling]
[laughs] But then,
I realized I wasn't really a wife!
I didn't have to be confined
to the prison you built for me.
By the way!
If it was all fake,
why did that house only have
one and a half baths?!
Egad! At least tell me...
you had a washer/dryer.
Yes, but they were stacked!
[growls]
[screaming]
[electricity zapping]
[grunts] Let me go!
[glitching]
[maniacal laughter]
Run, Pinky, run!
[laughs] Just like in season two!
[grunting]
[glitching]
With this new body,
I will destroy you.
Then, I will accomplish what neither you
nor the real Julia ever could.
I'm going to take over the world!
[glitching]
I'm gonna write all about it
in my holiday card.
And then everybody will see
how well I'm doing!
This is the end, Brain.
N-not for me, but f-for you,
Y-you know what I mean, right?
We're old friends.
Ah...
Yes.
And I fear you might be correct, Julia.
If you'll permit me,
may I just say one last thing
to my dear friend Pinky?
♪
[evil laugh]
I don't get it, but alright.
[coughs]
Pinky, you must promise me
that you will never ever
pick up my hammer
and use it to smash open your piggy bank.
Ooh...
But now, I really want to.
Oh, it's so shiny and smashy,
and I know there's at least 60 cents
and a sticky hearing aid battery in there.
[maniacal laughter]
No!
[glitching]
[smashing]
[Pinky screaming]
[gasping wildly]
[sighs] That was a close one.
♪
[clears throat]
There's got to be an easier way
to get over an ex.
Perhaps if I experiment more
with special relativity.
[chomp]
Oh, never mind. Come, Pinky!
We must clean up the lab
and prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, Brain?
What are we gonna do tomorrow night?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
♪
[rattling]
You may have short-circuited me
this time, Brain!
But I'm already plotting
a new way to destroy you!
[beep]
Oh, shoot! I'm rebooting.
Wait! I'm not done telling you how--
[electricity fizzling]
How we're going to take over the world.
♪
ANNOUNCER:
Cute things that can kill you.
The slow loris may look snuggly,
but its bite contains lethal venom
that rots human flesh.
The puffer fish may look like
a fishy birthday balloon,
but it is extremely poisonous.
The deer may look innocent,
but its erratic behavior
can cause fatalities.
[tires screech]
Join us next time for more
cute things that can kill you.
♪
♪