Animaniacs (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Episode #3.6 - full transcript
♪
[wind blowing]
[creaking]
[light buzzing]
[creature squeaking, chirping]
[gun rattling]
[beeping]
[Ralph gasps]
Eight meters. Seven.
Duh, six!
[whimpering]
It can't be.
That means they're inside the room.
That means we're incredibly stupid
for not leaving!
Game over, man. Game over!
[beeping continues]
[metal clanging]
Duh, five meters! And now,
one less than five!
Duh, what's it called again?
You must be reading it wrong!
[beeping continues]
WARNERS [in creepy voices]:
Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy...
[screams]
[hissing, roaring]
We mostly boing at night.
Mostly.
[screaming]
Heel! Heel! Sibs, am I right?
[nervous laugh]
Don't worry, they're harmless.
[sizzling]
Ah, you know,
they're just a little hangry.
We're just trying to find a space
cafeteria for a midnight snack.
Couldn't point us in
the right direction, could you?
Thanks so much.
Again, so sorry for the hubbub.
Ta-ta. Buh-bye now.
[sighs]
[screams]
Duh...
Too many jelly doughnuts.
Quiet, you fool.
You can't let them hear that word.
[clang]
[both gasping]
[meow]
DOT/WAKKO: Doughnuts?
[screaming]
♪ theme song playing ♪
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
- ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪
♪ Be like Lois Lane-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
- [barking]
- [gasps] What's wrong, girl?
[barking]
[screaming, grunting]
[banging into walls]
[splash]
[thunder cracks]
♪ Pinky & The Brain theme playing ♪
[squeaking]
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder]
♪
♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
PINKY:
Previously on Pinky and the Brain!
So, Brain had a plan
to take over the world,
which I'm sure was very clever,
but then it kept on
being the same day again.
[crowd cheering, cash rattling]
Hm! I wonder what'll happen this week.
[rumbling]
Shh! It's starting now!
[rumbling, clanging]
Ugh, and I won in a landslide.
The irony is palpable.
Madam President, on me, now!
[zapping]
[rumbling]
[people groaning]
[beeping, electricity crackling]
BRAIN:
People of Earth. It is I, the Brain!
Beneath this layer of snow,
I have trapped the leaders
of the most powerful nations
on the planet.
Plus Australia.
It's so cute how you let them sit
at the big kids' table like this.
What the flamin' heck
is that supposed to mean?
[laughing]
They shall be released
only once my demands are met.
Control of your countries,
the fealty of your armies!
You know, all the standard
"take over the world" T's and C's.
Oh.
And their oxygen
will run out in two hours.
So, don't dilly-dally too long.
Brain out!
[beep]
[beeping]
Alright, now how do I end the call?
I can't find the-- Wait--
[beep, whir]
♪
Everyone at the G20 summit
has pledged fealty to me!
Pinky, not only
have I broken the time loop,
I've finally taken over the--
[beep, song playing on radio]
LOCAL DJ: Rise and shine, sleepyheads!
No!
LOCAL DJ: You're listening to WB...
♪
But, I took over the world.
Surely that should have ended
this unceasing time loop!
Oh, ye fearsome Fates and Furies!
Wherefore dost thou so frequently flaunt
thy fickle forces to flabbergast
my faculties?!
[grunts] Flamingos!
Oh, hi, Brain!
What are you yelling about?
Sorry. I mean... [clears throat]
[screaming]:
Hi, Brain!
What are we yelling about?!
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
I think so, Brain,
but how much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck actually moves soil, Pinky,
but assuming he or she dedicated
their efforts to displacing timber,
they could chuck approximately
700 pounds of wood per day.
[clapping]
I think it's best we moved on
from woodchucks, Pinky.
With my previous plan, I only took over
the 20 most powerful nations.
Clearly, if I'm to escape
this time prison,
I must bring every human
on Earth under my control
before this accursed day ends.
[creaking]
[Pinky straining]
You best get comfortable, Pinky.
This could take a while.
[dialing]
555-555-0100.
Madam President?
[indistinct response]
No? Good day.
[hangs up, dial tone]
555-555-0101.
♪
Madam President, choose wisely
because this decision
will have serious repercussions.
♪
PRESIDENT:
Alright. That one.
Okay. We're slashing
federal funding from...
Colorado. Eh, great!
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[phone ringing]
Madam President?
PRESIDENT:
Who is this? How did you get this--
There are only 10 billion
unique cell phone number combinations
for the region of North America.
It was an elementary brute force attack.
Now, may I ask
what is currently
in your left blazer pocket?
A picture of my childhood dog. Why?
Thank you. Good day.
[click]
♪
Colorado! Eh, great!
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[phone ringing]
- BRAIN [on phone]: Hello, Madam President.
- Who is this? How did you get this--
I'm an omnipotent
interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
PRESIDENT:
Sure, buddy. And I run a democracy.
Your left blazer pocket
contains a photograph
of your beloved childhood dog.
How-- How could you know that?
Like I said,
I am an omnipotent interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
- I demand your immediate--
- What was the dog's name?
What was... What?
The dog's name.
If you know all,
then you know the dog's name.
Uh... Fido?
[click, dial tone]
Professor Paw Prints?
[click, dial tone]
[sighs]
It's not Pinky, is it?
[click, dial tone]
Dog. Your childhood dog's name was Dog.
♪
How?!
You named your dog Dog?
All the unimaginative,
worthless, completely idiotic--
[beep]
♪
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[ringing, beep]
Hello?
BRAIN: Hello, Madam President.
I am an omnipotent
interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
I demand you surrender to me
at once.
By way of proof,
your left blazer pocket contains
a photograph of your childhood dog,
also named [sighs] Dog,
with whom you shared a special bond.
On the night of your graduation,
you whispered into his ear
that you would one day become president.
He passed peacefully in your arms.
as the song American Girl
by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
played on the radio.
It was the last time you cried.
Well, there's no way you could know
about that incredibly cliche,
but entirely accurate series of events
without being the omnipotent threat
you claim you are.
It-it would have taken you
thousands of guesses.
Millions.
The United States surrenders. Bye.
- [click, dial tone]
- At last! Now we just need to repeat that
for the remaining 192 member states
of the United Nations.
- Yay!
- Ooh!
[grunts]
[both grunt]
[busy signal]
LOCAL DJ [on radio]:
Every nation on Earth
has unconditionally surrendered
to an all-knowing, all-powerful space god
in the form of a small white lab mouse.
You all laughed at me when
I said the end times were upon us.
But who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now--
[beep]
BRAIN: There.
Now, I am the undisputed leader
of every person on this planet!
[sighs]
If that doesn't break the cycle,
I'm not sure what--
♪ I love you a lot, it's like... ♪
[muffled screaming]
♪
Okay, from the top.
Dog barks.
[barking]
School bus rounds the corner.
[tires screech, air brakes hiss]
Little Janey is running late.
A few crumbs of birdseed. And action!
[quacking]
[tires squeal]
[tires screech]
[screaming]
Hoo!
[tires screech]
[splattering]
♪
[mighty roar]
A radioactive super duck. Why not?
Nothing else has worked so far.
Might as well give it a shot.
[roar]
[zapping]
LOCAL DJ [on radio]:
Control of the Earth has been seized
by a small white lab mouse
who's brought the world's
militaries to their knees,
riding a killer duck with laser eyes.
♪ I love you a lot... ♪
[yells]
DEEJAY: A small white lab mouse
has taken over the world
by opening a sneaker pop-up
with so much hype
that every human on the planet has flocked
to Queens to line up for it!
...by weaponizing the Macarena.
[rattling]
...by simply going online and saying,
"I rule the world,"
and everyone's just
going along with it, I guess.
[song playing]
BRAIN/DJ: It's another icy cold morning.
But don't take my word for it.
- Ask Pennsylvania Bill.
- Pennsylvania Bill!
BOTH:
Yes! It's that time of year
where we ask a rodent
to predict the weather.
It's Woodchuck Day.
♪
I don't get it, Pinky.
I've taken over the world
no less than 200 times now.
I've enslaved humanity via military force,
via mind-control technology,
via catchy Latin dance pop,
and nothing breaks the loop!
By my count, I've spent nigh on 80 years
in this small town.
Oh, don't be silly, Brain.
You don't look a day over three!
Which is actually quite old
for a lab mouse.
Pinky? Brain?
I thought it was you!
Egwind. Yes. Can you do me a favor
and stand right here
for about three seconds?
One, two, three.
Great catching up...
[splash]
Come.
We must return to the Very Twee Inn
- and prepare for tomorrow.
- Why, Brain? What are we--
The same thing we do every day,
Pinky. Literally.
The exact same thing
on the exact... same... day.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[shivering, sniffs]
And just so you know, Pinky,
if I am doomed to repeat one day
for all of eternity,
I'm glad I get to spend
with you, old chum.
♪
♪
Good night, Tiger Brain. [kiss]
Good night, Crocodile Brain. [kiss]
It's an alligator, you half-wit.
How many times have I explained
these interlaced teeth indicate--
[kiss] And good night, real Brain.
I'm about to turn off the light.
Say goodbye to my face.
Good night, Pinky.
Oops! Can't forget to turn
on my white noise machine.
I can never sleep without it.
Can you believe someone
threw it in the trash
- at ACME Labs?
- Ah!
That's not a white noise machine,
you chronology-curling clodpate!
That's my failed time machine prototype!
You've been turning this on every night?
Every night!
If I don't get a full 13 hours, hoo-hoo!
I turn into a real Karen.
[angry growl]
[whirring down]
[zapping]
♪
Free...
Free from these temporal manacles at last!
Come, Pinky.
We must return to the lab
and prepare for tomorrow...
Oh ho, I can't believe it. Tomorrow night!
[exhales] Why, Brain?
What are we gonna do tomorrow,
[snore] oh-ho-I-can't-believe-it-
tomorrow-night? [snore]
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try... to take over... the world!
[maniacal laughter]
♪
[zapping, flames roar]
[barking]
[barking continues]
[screams]
♪
♪
[splashing]
We've been whale watching
for three hours
and haven't seen a single whale.
Well, there are
plenty of single dolphins.
Hey, baby, you should smile more!
You're so pretty when you smile.
[kissing]
- Blech.
- Look! Dolphins!
[screaming]
[boat creaking]
[splash]
[screaming]
♪
[gasps]
[bonk]
Hey! How dare you hit
my coconut with your coconut?
[scooter revving, tires screech]
[grunt]
Um, where are we?
We're on page three, Yakko.
This is why you need to come to rehearsal.
[animals chattering]
I think we're being watched.
- [rustling]
- Who's there? Leave us alone!
This is a dangerous situation, sibs.
If we want to get out of this alive,
we'll have to use our heads.
Ah!
Ready!
[pinball ricocheting]
[thud]
♪
[roaring]
[Warners gasping]
[snarling]
Sorry for scaring you,
but we've never had visitors before.
[cheering]
Would you mind untying us, please?
We're so squishy and helpless.
Ooh! My elbows are kissing!
I'm Ditto.
That's Ratto and Saffo.
BOTH:
We're the Warner Brothers!
And the Warner sister.
I like your flower.
[bat-like chirp]
I like your hat.
And I like how you're taller
than the others,
you know, to show that you're the oldest.
- New friends!
- Tickle fight!
[tickling]
[laughter]
- [laughter stops]
- You know, they may look like us,
but they don't really act like us.
[slurp]
That's because Brother made us this way.
Who's Brother?
♪ unsettling music playing ♪
[voice shaking]:
Oh, Brother is our protector
[voice shaking]:
And this is his island.
[voice shaking]:
We're allowed to do anything
Brother tells us to do.
Like braid his hair.
[gulp] Or feed him s-strawberries.
No. For Brother only.
Your brother sounds
like a weenie in need of roasting.
[woozy]: Yeah,
it's important to stand up for yourself.
[loud chewing]
Yup. And get revenge
on anybody who hurt your family.
Me thinks we have lots to learn.
[loud thud]
[gasping]
[rumbling]
Oh, no. Brother's coming.
[heavy footstep]
[heavy footstep]
♪
[gasps] Ze Warners?!
WARNERS:
Dr. Scratchansniff?
Oh, please, call me Jürgen, ja?
Jürgen? Come on,
you look just like
the psychiatrist at Warner Brothers,
Dr. Otto von Scratchansniff.
Why do you have a picture of
Dr. Scratchansniff in your wallet?
WAKKO:
Yeah. That's so weird.
I keep all my pictures of him on my belly.
- Let me see zat.
- Gah!
Vait. Are you saying zat Otto
has never mentioned me?
His very own identical twin brother?
WARNERS:
Oh...
Huh I thought we knew everything
about Dr. Scratchansniff.
That he had a bald head,
glasses, purple pants,
but we never knew he had a brother.
[fly buzzing]
Vell then, allow me to illuminate, ja?
♪
From ze very beginning of our time,
Otto and I were as close
as can be, like...
like two P's in ze vord "apple strudel."
Ve vent to ze same college,
und ve even got jobs together
at Warner Brothers.
Otto as the psychiatrist,
und I as ze on-set physician.
But one day, everything changed.
Ven he met you!
[Warners laughing]
[chomp]
From zen on, vork consumed Otto's life.
He never saw me star as "chorus member"
ven I did dinner theater.
He couldn't even celebrate
the anniversary of our birth.
Ugh!
I've been so lonely
vithout mein bruder,
and it's all because of you!
Vhat the... vhwere did the Warners go?
[laughter]
Oops. Sorry, buddy.
We stopped listening a while ago.
We got bored. But don't worry.
It's not you or your story. It's both!
[angry growl]
Ditto! Ratto! Saffo! Come!
Brother needs ze relaxation protocol!
[rustling]
♪
Ooh... [slurp]
You guys, we talked about this.
You've gotta stand up for yourselves!
Yeah! You can't let him
treat you like this!
You're living beings, not unpaid interns!
[gulp]
Zat's vhere you're wrong.
Come, mein creations.
Let us show zese Warner pests...
mein secret laboratory.
[beep]
♪
♪ dramatic sting ♪
[growls]
[growling, snarling]
[squeaking]
[screaming]
What is this place?
Don't you see? Zis is vhere
I've spent years creating
a more perfect Warner.
Warners zat are more obedient.
Warners zat listen to grownups.
Varners zat don't tear asunder poor Otto
und his brother Jürgen.
[creatures wince]
It must have been expensive
to ship all this stuff here.
[growls]
Now zat I have made so many
sweet und lovely Warners,
vhy keep ze no-good,
trouble-making Warners, ja?
Ditto! Ratto! Saffo! Come!
Now, hold zese rotten Warners shtill,
mein lieblings.
Whoa, Ratto!
I thought you and were pals!
You can't do this to us!
Yeah! We have more episodes to star in!
♪
[groaning]
It's time to harvest zem!
For Warner parts!
[whirring]
That doesn't sound nice at all.
[all gasp]
[screaming]
[drill grinding]
[high voice]:
Maybe it's time we stand up for ourselves!
Yeah! Maybe we should!
[gasping]
[yelling]
SAFFO: Stop right there, Brother!
♪ heroic music playing ♪
You ready, Ratto?
Ready!
[grunts]
[screams]
[grunt] Oh...
Let me go.
I don't like this one bit!
[creatures snarling]
[growling]
We've been waiting a long time for this.
[whimpering]
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
- Ah! Huh?
- Tickle fight!
♪ light-hearted music playing ♪
[wild laughter]
No! No, no, no!
[screaming laughter]
[laughing, indistinct yelling]
Wow. Thanks for saving us, you guys!
That was a close call.
He almost took all our parts away!
Like we're actresses in our 40s!
JÜRGEN: Hello?
Uh, would you come untie me, please?
Oh, come on now, Ditto.
You've always been
z-ze sensible one, ja?
Oh, oh, oh! I'll let you have
your very own shtrawberry
if you free me. [laughs]
Ooh, is that good?
Should I take the deal?
Sorry, Brother. I mean, Jürgen,
but I'm sticking with
my real family on this one.
[cheering]
You can't do this to me.
I haven't switched my laundry.
Mein clothes vill get ze mildew!
[chomp]
[splash]
About time we saw a whale!
♪ dramatic sting ♪
♪
[barking]
[gasps]
[wind blowing]
[dolphin chirping]
[dolphin chirping]
[chirping]
[splashing away]
[clink]
♪
[wind blowing]
[creaking]
[light buzzing]
[creature squeaking, chirping]
[gun rattling]
[beeping]
[Ralph gasps]
Eight meters. Seven.
Duh, six!
[whimpering]
It can't be.
That means they're inside the room.
That means we're incredibly stupid
for not leaving!
Game over, man. Game over!
[beeping continues]
[metal clanging]
Duh, five meters! And now,
one less than five!
Duh, what's it called again?
You must be reading it wrong!
[beeping continues]
WARNERS [in creepy voices]:
Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy...
[screams]
[hissing, roaring]
We mostly boing at night.
Mostly.
[screaming]
Heel! Heel! Sibs, am I right?
[nervous laugh]
Don't worry, they're harmless.
[sizzling]
Ah, you know,
they're just a little hangry.
We're just trying to find a space
cafeteria for a midnight snack.
Couldn't point us in
the right direction, could you?
Thanks so much.
Again, so sorry for the hubbub.
Ta-ta. Buh-bye now.
[sighs]
[screams]
Duh...
Too many jelly doughnuts.
Quiet, you fool.
You can't let them hear that word.
[clang]
[both gasping]
[meow]
DOT/WAKKO: Doughnuts?
[screaming]
♪ theme song playing ♪
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
- ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪
♪ Be like Lois Lane-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
- [barking]
- [gasps] What's wrong, girl?
[barking]
[screaming, grunting]
[banging into walls]
[splash]
[thunder cracks]
♪ Pinky & The Brain theme playing ♪
[squeaking]
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder]
♪
♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
PINKY:
Previously on Pinky and the Brain!
So, Brain had a plan
to take over the world,
which I'm sure was very clever,
but then it kept on
being the same day again.
[crowd cheering, cash rattling]
Hm! I wonder what'll happen this week.
[rumbling]
Shh! It's starting now!
[rumbling, clanging]
Ugh, and I won in a landslide.
The irony is palpable.
Madam President, on me, now!
[zapping]
[rumbling]
[people groaning]
[beeping, electricity crackling]
BRAIN:
People of Earth. It is I, the Brain!
Beneath this layer of snow,
I have trapped the leaders
of the most powerful nations
on the planet.
Plus Australia.
It's so cute how you let them sit
at the big kids' table like this.
What the flamin' heck
is that supposed to mean?
[laughing]
They shall be released
only once my demands are met.
Control of your countries,
the fealty of your armies!
You know, all the standard
"take over the world" T's and C's.
Oh.
And their oxygen
will run out in two hours.
So, don't dilly-dally too long.
Brain out!
[beep]
[beeping]
Alright, now how do I end the call?
I can't find the-- Wait--
[beep, whir]
♪
Everyone at the G20 summit
has pledged fealty to me!
Pinky, not only
have I broken the time loop,
I've finally taken over the--
[beep, song playing on radio]
LOCAL DJ: Rise and shine, sleepyheads!
No!
LOCAL DJ: You're listening to WB...
♪
But, I took over the world.
Surely that should have ended
this unceasing time loop!
Oh, ye fearsome Fates and Furies!
Wherefore dost thou so frequently flaunt
thy fickle forces to flabbergast
my faculties?!
[grunts] Flamingos!
Oh, hi, Brain!
What are you yelling about?
Sorry. I mean... [clears throat]
[screaming]:
Hi, Brain!
What are we yelling about?!
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
I think so, Brain,
but how much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck actually moves soil, Pinky,
but assuming he or she dedicated
their efforts to displacing timber,
they could chuck approximately
700 pounds of wood per day.
[clapping]
I think it's best we moved on
from woodchucks, Pinky.
With my previous plan, I only took over
the 20 most powerful nations.
Clearly, if I'm to escape
this time prison,
I must bring every human
on Earth under my control
before this accursed day ends.
[creaking]
[Pinky straining]
You best get comfortable, Pinky.
This could take a while.
[dialing]
555-555-0100.
Madam President?
[indistinct response]
No? Good day.
[hangs up, dial tone]
555-555-0101.
♪
Madam President, choose wisely
because this decision
will have serious repercussions.
♪
PRESIDENT:
Alright. That one.
Okay. We're slashing
federal funding from...
Colorado. Eh, great!
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[phone ringing]
Madam President?
PRESIDENT:
Who is this? How did you get this--
There are only 10 billion
unique cell phone number combinations
for the region of North America.
It was an elementary brute force attack.
Now, may I ask
what is currently
in your left blazer pocket?
A picture of my childhood dog. Why?
Thank you. Good day.
[click]
♪
Colorado! Eh, great!
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[phone ringing]
- BRAIN [on phone]: Hello, Madam President.
- Who is this? How did you get this--
I'm an omnipotent
interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
PRESIDENT:
Sure, buddy. And I run a democracy.
Your left blazer pocket
contains a photograph
of your beloved childhood dog.
How-- How could you know that?
Like I said,
I am an omnipotent interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
- I demand your immediate--
- What was the dog's name?
What was... What?
The dog's name.
If you know all,
then you know the dog's name.
Uh... Fido?
[click, dial tone]
Professor Paw Prints?
[click, dial tone]
[sighs]
It's not Pinky, is it?
[click, dial tone]
Dog. Your childhood dog's name was Dog.
♪
How?!
You named your dog Dog?
All the unimaginative,
worthless, completely idiotic--
[beep]
♪
They didn't vote for me anyway.
[ringing, beep]
Hello?
BRAIN: Hello, Madam President.
I am an omnipotent
interdimensional being.
I see all, I know all.
I demand you surrender to me
at once.
By way of proof,
your left blazer pocket contains
a photograph of your childhood dog,
also named [sighs] Dog,
with whom you shared a special bond.
On the night of your graduation,
you whispered into his ear
that you would one day become president.
He passed peacefully in your arms.
as the song American Girl
by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
played on the radio.
It was the last time you cried.
Well, there's no way you could know
about that incredibly cliche,
but entirely accurate series of events
without being the omnipotent threat
you claim you are.
It-it would have taken you
thousands of guesses.
Millions.
The United States surrenders. Bye.
- [click, dial tone]
- At last! Now we just need to repeat that
for the remaining 192 member states
of the United Nations.
- Yay!
- Ooh!
[grunts]
[both grunt]
[busy signal]
LOCAL DJ [on radio]:
Every nation on Earth
has unconditionally surrendered
to an all-knowing, all-powerful space god
in the form of a small white lab mouse.
You all laughed at me when
I said the end times were upon us.
But who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now--
[beep]
BRAIN: There.
Now, I am the undisputed leader
of every person on this planet!
[sighs]
If that doesn't break the cycle,
I'm not sure what--
♪ I love you a lot, it's like... ♪
[muffled screaming]
♪
Okay, from the top.
Dog barks.
[barking]
School bus rounds the corner.
[tires screech, air brakes hiss]
Little Janey is running late.
A few crumbs of birdseed. And action!
[quacking]
[tires squeal]
[tires screech]
[screaming]
Hoo!
[tires screech]
[splattering]
♪
[mighty roar]
A radioactive super duck. Why not?
Nothing else has worked so far.
Might as well give it a shot.
[roar]
[zapping]
LOCAL DJ [on radio]:
Control of the Earth has been seized
by a small white lab mouse
who's brought the world's
militaries to their knees,
riding a killer duck with laser eyes.
♪ I love you a lot... ♪
[yells]
DEEJAY: A small white lab mouse
has taken over the world
by opening a sneaker pop-up
with so much hype
that every human on the planet has flocked
to Queens to line up for it!
...by weaponizing the Macarena.
[rattling]
...by simply going online and saying,
"I rule the world,"
and everyone's just
going along with it, I guess.
[song playing]
BRAIN/DJ: It's another icy cold morning.
But don't take my word for it.
- Ask Pennsylvania Bill.
- Pennsylvania Bill!
BOTH:
Yes! It's that time of year
where we ask a rodent
to predict the weather.
It's Woodchuck Day.
♪
I don't get it, Pinky.
I've taken over the world
no less than 200 times now.
I've enslaved humanity via military force,
via mind-control technology,
via catchy Latin dance pop,
and nothing breaks the loop!
By my count, I've spent nigh on 80 years
in this small town.
Oh, don't be silly, Brain.
You don't look a day over three!
Which is actually quite old
for a lab mouse.
Pinky? Brain?
I thought it was you!
Egwind. Yes. Can you do me a favor
and stand right here
for about three seconds?
One, two, three.
Great catching up...
[splash]
Come.
We must return to the Very Twee Inn
- and prepare for tomorrow.
- Why, Brain? What are we--
The same thing we do every day,
Pinky. Literally.
The exact same thing
on the exact... same... day.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[shivering, sniffs]
And just so you know, Pinky,
if I am doomed to repeat one day
for all of eternity,
I'm glad I get to spend
with you, old chum.
♪
♪
Good night, Tiger Brain. [kiss]
Good night, Crocodile Brain. [kiss]
It's an alligator, you half-wit.
How many times have I explained
these interlaced teeth indicate--
[kiss] And good night, real Brain.
I'm about to turn off the light.
Say goodbye to my face.
Good night, Pinky.
Oops! Can't forget to turn
on my white noise machine.
I can never sleep without it.
Can you believe someone
threw it in the trash
- at ACME Labs?
- Ah!
That's not a white noise machine,
you chronology-curling clodpate!
That's my failed time machine prototype!
You've been turning this on every night?
Every night!
If I don't get a full 13 hours, hoo-hoo!
I turn into a real Karen.
[angry growl]
[whirring down]
[zapping]
♪
Free...
Free from these temporal manacles at last!
Come, Pinky.
We must return to the lab
and prepare for tomorrow...
Oh ho, I can't believe it. Tomorrow night!
[exhales] Why, Brain?
What are we gonna do tomorrow,
[snore] oh-ho-I-can't-believe-it-
tomorrow-night? [snore]
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try... to take over... the world!
[maniacal laughter]
♪
[zapping, flames roar]
[barking]
[barking continues]
[screams]
♪
♪
[splashing]
We've been whale watching
for three hours
and haven't seen a single whale.
Well, there are
plenty of single dolphins.
Hey, baby, you should smile more!
You're so pretty when you smile.
[kissing]
- Blech.
- Look! Dolphins!
[screaming]
[boat creaking]
[splash]
[screaming]
♪
[gasps]
[bonk]
Hey! How dare you hit
my coconut with your coconut?
[scooter revving, tires screech]
[grunt]
Um, where are we?
We're on page three, Yakko.
This is why you need to come to rehearsal.
[animals chattering]
I think we're being watched.
- [rustling]
- Who's there? Leave us alone!
This is a dangerous situation, sibs.
If we want to get out of this alive,
we'll have to use our heads.
Ah!
Ready!
[pinball ricocheting]
[thud]
♪
[roaring]
[Warners gasping]
[snarling]
Sorry for scaring you,
but we've never had visitors before.
[cheering]
Would you mind untying us, please?
We're so squishy and helpless.
Ooh! My elbows are kissing!
I'm Ditto.
That's Ratto and Saffo.
BOTH:
We're the Warner Brothers!
And the Warner sister.
I like your flower.
[bat-like chirp]
I like your hat.
And I like how you're taller
than the others,
you know, to show that you're the oldest.
- New friends!
- Tickle fight!
[tickling]
[laughter]
- [laughter stops]
- You know, they may look like us,
but they don't really act like us.
[slurp]
That's because Brother made us this way.
Who's Brother?
♪ unsettling music playing ♪
[voice shaking]:
Oh, Brother is our protector
[voice shaking]:
And this is his island.
[voice shaking]:
We're allowed to do anything
Brother tells us to do.
Like braid his hair.
[gulp] Or feed him s-strawberries.
No. For Brother only.
Your brother sounds
like a weenie in need of roasting.
[woozy]: Yeah,
it's important to stand up for yourself.
[loud chewing]
Yup. And get revenge
on anybody who hurt your family.
Me thinks we have lots to learn.
[loud thud]
[gasping]
[rumbling]
Oh, no. Brother's coming.
[heavy footstep]
[heavy footstep]
♪
[gasps] Ze Warners?!
WARNERS:
Dr. Scratchansniff?
Oh, please, call me Jürgen, ja?
Jürgen? Come on,
you look just like
the psychiatrist at Warner Brothers,
Dr. Otto von Scratchansniff.
Why do you have a picture of
Dr. Scratchansniff in your wallet?
WAKKO:
Yeah. That's so weird.
I keep all my pictures of him on my belly.
- Let me see zat.
- Gah!
Vait. Are you saying zat Otto
has never mentioned me?
His very own identical twin brother?
WARNERS:
Oh...
Huh I thought we knew everything
about Dr. Scratchansniff.
That he had a bald head,
glasses, purple pants,
but we never knew he had a brother.
[fly buzzing]
Vell then, allow me to illuminate, ja?
♪
From ze very beginning of our time,
Otto and I were as close
as can be, like...
like two P's in ze vord "apple strudel."
Ve vent to ze same college,
und ve even got jobs together
at Warner Brothers.
Otto as the psychiatrist,
und I as ze on-set physician.
But one day, everything changed.
Ven he met you!
[Warners laughing]
[chomp]
From zen on, vork consumed Otto's life.
He never saw me star as "chorus member"
ven I did dinner theater.
He couldn't even celebrate
the anniversary of our birth.
Ugh!
I've been so lonely
vithout mein bruder,
and it's all because of you!
Vhat the... vhwere did the Warners go?
[laughter]
Oops. Sorry, buddy.
We stopped listening a while ago.
We got bored. But don't worry.
It's not you or your story. It's both!
[angry growl]
Ditto! Ratto! Saffo! Come!
Brother needs ze relaxation protocol!
[rustling]
♪
Ooh... [slurp]
You guys, we talked about this.
You've gotta stand up for yourselves!
Yeah! You can't let him
treat you like this!
You're living beings, not unpaid interns!
[gulp]
Zat's vhere you're wrong.
Come, mein creations.
Let us show zese Warner pests...
mein secret laboratory.
[beep]
♪
♪ dramatic sting ♪
[growls]
[growling, snarling]
[squeaking]
[screaming]
What is this place?
Don't you see? Zis is vhere
I've spent years creating
a more perfect Warner.
Warners zat are more obedient.
Warners zat listen to grownups.
Varners zat don't tear asunder poor Otto
und his brother Jürgen.
[creatures wince]
It must have been expensive
to ship all this stuff here.
[growls]
Now zat I have made so many
sweet und lovely Warners,
vhy keep ze no-good,
trouble-making Warners, ja?
Ditto! Ratto! Saffo! Come!
Now, hold zese rotten Warners shtill,
mein lieblings.
Whoa, Ratto!
I thought you and were pals!
You can't do this to us!
Yeah! We have more episodes to star in!
♪
[groaning]
It's time to harvest zem!
For Warner parts!
[whirring]
That doesn't sound nice at all.
[all gasp]
[screaming]
[drill grinding]
[high voice]:
Maybe it's time we stand up for ourselves!
Yeah! Maybe we should!
[gasping]
[yelling]
SAFFO: Stop right there, Brother!
♪ heroic music playing ♪
You ready, Ratto?
Ready!
[grunts]
[screams]
[grunt] Oh...
Let me go.
I don't like this one bit!
[creatures snarling]
[growling]
We've been waiting a long time for this.
[whimpering]
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
- Ah! Huh?
- Tickle fight!
♪ light-hearted music playing ♪
[wild laughter]
No! No, no, no!
[screaming laughter]
[laughing, indistinct yelling]
Wow. Thanks for saving us, you guys!
That was a close call.
He almost took all our parts away!
Like we're actresses in our 40s!
JÜRGEN: Hello?
Uh, would you come untie me, please?
Oh, come on now, Ditto.
You've always been
z-ze sensible one, ja?
Oh, oh, oh! I'll let you have
your very own shtrawberry
if you free me. [laughs]
Ooh, is that good?
Should I take the deal?
Sorry, Brother. I mean, Jürgen,
but I'm sticking with
my real family on this one.
[cheering]
You can't do this to me.
I haven't switched my laundry.
Mein clothes vill get ze mildew!
[chomp]
[splash]
About time we saw a whale!
♪ dramatic sting ♪
♪
[barking]
[gasps]
[wind blowing]
[dolphin chirping]
[dolphin chirping]
[chirping]
[splashing away]
[clink]
♪