American Dad! (2005–…): Season 9, Episode 3 - Buck, Wild - full transcript
Steve is eager to prove that he's no longer a little boy, so he sets off to prove his manhood by joining Stan, Bullock, and the rest of the CIA on their annual hunting trip. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus set off on a cross-country ro...
♪ Good morning, USA!
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
♪ Good morning, USA
Aah!
♪ Good morning, USA!
I don't believe this.
How could they put me
at the kids' table?
I'm 14.
I'm Batman.
No, you're not!
I'm too old for this.
I don't want to be
around all these babies
playing Pokémon... badly.
This kid right here is just
wasting his Charizard.
You are wasting
your Charizard!
Gentlemen, just in time
for the annual hunting trip,
I've purchased an RV,
and I love it.
It's like driving
a terrible little house.
Hunting trip?
That sounds awesome!
Steve, that trip,
like this table,
is for men only.
Yeah, kid.
So make like Pete Weber
in the tenth frame
of the 2007 Pro Bowling
championships and split.
♪ Da, da, da
I love taking
the old '93 Mercury Sable
out for a little joyride.
Letting her stretch her legs.
Oh, oh, odometer's about
to turn over to all zeros.
That might be interesting
to see.
Ooh, check out this girl.
Just drifting along.
What an interesting look
she has.
I'm so interested
in things today.
And well, I'll just say it:
I'm behaving very interestingly.
♪ Da, da, da
♪ Da, da, da...
Well, that's over.
Oh, damn it!
Y-You following
my daughter?
Screw you, buddy!
Get out of here,
you pervert!
Your weird daughter
made me miss the zeros!
She made me miss the thing!
You freako!
I don't know what
you're talking about!
Get back in your house!
Get back in
your damn house!
Next on Guy Who Gets Laid A Lot,
the guy spends the night alone.
Aw...
Psyche! He totally gets laid.
Oh, they got me.
They got me again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what is this?
A brief PowerPoint
presentation
about why I should go
on that CIA hunting trip.
No, I told you,
it's for men.
Exactly, and as you can see,
I've gone through multiple rites
of passage,
any of which should qualify me
for this manhood you speak of.
What?!
PowerPoint?!
Why does it keep going back?
I don't even want
these transitions.
It's too busy.
Look, Steve, you couldn't
cut it on this hunting trip.
It's for rough and ready men,
and you're a boy.
Then how do I become a man?
Simple-- you have to hunt
and kill an animal.
Well, how am I supposed
to do that
if you won't let me
on the hunting trip?
That's a catch-22.
Joseph Heller's
absurdist novel?
Whoa, stop right there.
You know I only read books
I've already read.
She's a beauty, sir.
You ever want to drive around
with your poop,
this is the vehicle.
Aah!
Yay.
Steve's here.
A spare tire that doubles
as a human boy?
We live in
wondrous times, Smith.
Damn it, Steve, I'm
taking you home right now.
Nonsense. We're here
and I'm ready to hunt.
Now, let's set up camp.
Move!
That!
Bus!
This is how we're camping?
It's glamping,
not camping.
Oh "glamping," huh, Smith?
You refuse to use that word
for six years,
then suddenly your son
shows up,
and it's like
you thought of it.
We've got an oxygen bar,
a yoga studio,
and a good but not amazing
Thai restaurant,
but it's pretty good.
What do you hunt with?
The only gun I've seen
is the one on the buffet.
Guns? Ha! Steve.
It's glunting, not hunting.
We use something
a bit more sophisticated.
We use
the Hunting Command Center.
Men, let's kill some animals.
Movement detected in Sector K-7.
Coordinating satellite path.
Initiating laser.
Firing in three...
two...
Squirrel hunted.
Squirrel down.
Deer!
It's in the Command Center.
We're powerless!
That gun is meant
to be decorative.
It's a conversation piece.
Smile, you son of a bitch.
You're smiling.
You son of a bitch.
It's learning.
Kill it now!
Steve,
this is your man moment.
Steve, you miss...
What?
My boy is dead.
Long live my man.
Hey, they put out éclairs.
*** from the
tree, Francine.
It was one of those tree-bucks.
You know the ones.
Bang! Stab!
Yeah, well, I just know
they're both
in a better place now.
That's right.
Deer hell.
You were so brave.
I'm so proud of my little boy.
Oh, he's no little boy,
Francine.
He's a man.
Great, I-I'm a man.
Can we just not talk
about this anymore?
Well, you're not a man yet.
There's still the Regaling.
What's the Regaling?
"What's the Regaling?"
He wants to know
what the Regaling is.
Never heard of it, he says.
Can you believe this?
If you want to ask me
a question, Stan,
ask me a question,
but don't use me as a prop.
The Regaling
is a marvelous thing.
After every hunt...
oh, it's just divine!
You tell your hunting story
to a bunch of
drunks at the Lodge.
I have to tell my story?
Yes, and the Regaling
will double as your man,
uh, coming out party.
Wait, no, no, no, your man...
arriving at party.
Your manutante party.
Manutante ball.
D-Don't rush me.
Manutante balls.
Uh, went past it.
Steve, let the women
clear the table
while we adjourn
to another room,
so I can tell you
how proud I am of you
without feeling
like a total gaylord.
Roger, are you feeling okay?
You've been quiet
all through dinner.
Oh, Franny.
You ever miss
a moment in your life,
one of those things
you'll never get back?
You know I have
no regrets, Roger.
That's why I got this.
Your arm is right.
I'm gonna drive
another 100,000 miles
and see those zeros,
if it kills me.
Ooh, road trip.
Bring me.
I've got lots
of good travel bits,
like pretending exit names
are movie titles.
State Road, coming soon.
Or Main Street,
from the makers of State Road.
Hmm.
I don't see that getting old.
Let's do it.
Good idea, guys.
You won't "regert" it.
Steve, we don't want to
be late for the Regaling.
You look like the most
handsome man in the world,
Bollywood star Akshay Kumar.
Oh, did you expect me
to say Ryan Gosling?
I said "the world," Steve.
Get out of your
Euro-centric bubble.
Anyway, you look good.
Regaling!
Regaling!
Okay, now, Steve, when you're
telling your hunting story,
don't forget to
mention all the blood.
People love blood.
Dad, when you first
killed something,
did you feel,
I don't know, guilty about...
Steve, you're focusing
on the wrong thing.
There is a lectern that
is exactly your size.
Go get 'em, champ.
Don't forget the bloo...
Ah, he's gone.
You can do this, Steve.
Be a man.
Uh, since time immemorial,
mankind has been terrorized
by-by the deer.
This fleet brown menace
has owned the night,
nibbling at our gardens
before slinking like cowards
back to the forest.
I used to live
in the forest,
but now I live on the wall
with my wife up in my antlers.
This is humiliating.
Thanks, Steve.
Uh...
uh...
Th-Th-These hideous,
huge, uh, vermin...
He didn't even eat the meat.
And all so he could
become a man?
Well, least we know what
kind of man Steve's become...
a bad man.
Uh...
hideous verm...
uh...
I can't.
I can't do this.
I want to be a man,
but not like this.
I feel awful about what I did.
I mean, when I fired,
I was just trying
to scare it off.
I wasn't trying to kill anyone.
Did you hear that?
He wasn't even trying!
He's an effortless killer.
That's right.
With one shot, he slays not one,
not two, not three,
but four deer!
Four?!
I wanted
to surprise you, Steve.
But it turns out these deer
had babies,
and without their parents,
they will surely starve.
All right, Steve! Way to go!
Congratulations!
That a guy!
Steve...
there's only one way
to be saved.
Ugh! Again with this, Merv!
Ever since you got mounted,
all you do is talk about Jesus!
He is the light!
Okay, we want to rack up
miles on this odometer
as quickly as we can,
so no stops,
drive-throughs only.
And we're gonna share
your bowl as a bathroom.
Oh, please, no.
Not my bowl.
Oh, well. I tried.
You're a messed-up
fish, man.
Is that Steve?
He's in the middle of nowhere.
We should pull over.
We don't have time.
Don't make eye contact.
Don't worry, little guys.
I'm gonna
stay here and raise you.
I owe you that much.
And I'm never gonna kill again.
***
***
***
"Dear Mother and Father,
"Do not worry about me.
"I have something I must do.
"I will return,
although I cannot say when.
Tenderly yours,
Steven Anita."
He's run away!
He didn't run away.
Children run away.
Steve's a man now.
He just went to take care
of some business.
It's all here in the note.
I'm worried.
Francine, it says right here,
"Don't worry."
Do you need to read
the note again?
Your reading comprehension
is terrible.
Look, he said he'll be back.
How long can he possibly
be gone, anyway?
That'll be Bullock.
Time for the annual
CIA hunting trip.
I can't believe
it's been a year
since Steve left.
God, I hope he's all right.
I'm sure he's fine.
He's probably living
up in Billings, Montana.
Got a little stake
in a copper mine.
Maybe a wife... Rose.
Good ol' Rosie,
salt of the earth.
He'll get down to Bozeman
one of these days.
It's been so quiet around here.
Roger, Klaus and Hayley
are still on
that 100,000-mile
road trip.
I didn't go on that trip.
Hmm, you've really been flying
under the radar this year.
Mmm! Eat plenty of moss,
my growing boys,
or no lichen for dessert.
I sure like lichen.
Hey, where you going?
The CIA hunting trip.
So, it has been a year already.
Again? You just went!
What do you mean?
You know where it is.
It's wherever
you want it to be.
Is this lasagna?
Did we agree on lasagna?
I never would've voted
for lasagna.
Father!
Steve?!
Steve! You're here!
It's so good to see you.
Well, you've seen me.
And now it's time
for you and your kind
to leave this place.
What are you talking about?
I have renounced
the ways of man,
and have been living
in the woods
raising the two deer
I orphaned.
There will be no hunting
here today,
nor ever again.
But... the things
you're saying!
All this time, I thought...
you're not a man;
you're not even a mammal!
You're an anti-mammal!
That doesn't roll
off the tongue, does it?
I'll have to combine
all those words,
off the cuff,
to create a new word.
I call you "an-i-mal."
That's it...
"an-i-mal."
It may not be a word,
but I know what it means.
Will you make peace
with an... "an-i-mal"?
Did I say that right?
Yes, you did.
And no, I won't!
Then you've brought
this war on yourself.
So does this mean
you and Rosie split up?
Marriage is hard, son!
You gotta learn
to tune out the nonsense!
This is it.
It's finally here!
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
What?!
This is a '93 Sable!
How is this happening?
You can do it.
Almost there.
I'm not a vet, but I think
you're overfeeding your fish.
As for you, all your organs
are wrong and scary to me.
You might want
to have that looked at.
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!
What? What is it?
The ambulance odometer's
about to roll over to 100,000!
You gotta get up here
and see this, bro!
Five zeros?!
Hot dog!
Dear Lord.
Some people go their whole lives
without seeing something
this beautiful.
I can almost...
Boys, all of your training
has been leading to this moment.
Except for
the three months I wasted
trying to teach you English.
Go!
And this one I scraped
on a rock,
but it doesn't hurt.
Sir, I'm picking up
something on the radar.
I know what this is.
Okay, my son wants a war,
let's give it to him.
The sauna!
We still have the steam room!
But I prefer dry heat!
It's an ambush!
We have to rally!
Aah! Ticks!
I feel tired all of a sudden.
My muscles are achy,
and my temperament
feels inconsistent.
American bald eagles!
We're saved!
Snakes!
Our espresso bar
with free WiFi!
I've seen quite enough!
Smith!
We're getting out of here!
And surrender? Never!
I'll tell your family
you were killed by chipmunks.
(engine revs, tires screech
It's about time that the hunter
who became the hunted
becomes the hunter.
Again.
Boys? That you?
It's over. We won.
Dignan? Applejack?
Ugh! I can't smell anything
with my seasonal allergies.
Hey, Zyrtec!
Aah!
You can't stop me
from hunting, Steve.
It's wrong, Dad.
Hunting for sport is wrong.
I feel very differently.
My boys will come for me.
Oh, I'm counting on it.
Don't hurt him!
He's my son!
You betrayed your species.
He's not your son,
he's something for drunks
to shoot at.
I've told you a thousand times,
it's killing
that makes the man.
Clever boy.
No! Don't kill him!
It's not what we do!
Yeah, what he said.
Killing's not what makes a man.
It's something else.
You'll regret it.
I did.
Dad, I'd like you to meet
your grandchildren.
Uh, hello.
Sorry Peepaw tried to kill you.
I've been dreading this day,
but it's time.
You're ready now.
You have to go!
Go! Get out of here!
Shoo!
Yeah, yeah, they left
as soon as you said "go."
You're probably pretty
disappointed in me, huh?
Why would I be
disappointed in you?
'Cause I'm not a man,
and I guess I'll never be.
No, Steve, I was wrong.
Anyone can kill.
But it takes a real man
to show mercy.
You taught me that.
So, I'm a man?
At long last, I'm a man?
You bet your ass you are.
But only in the woods.
And we're never coming
back here again.
So those deer know how to
use guns, huh? That's cool.
Well, we're almost to
100,000 again, Klaus...
's bones.
Ooh! Is that one of
those deer men?
They're so interesting!
Noooo!
Bye, have a beautiful time!
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
♪ Good morning, USA
Aah!
♪ Good morning, USA!
I don't believe this.
How could they put me
at the kids' table?
I'm 14.
I'm Batman.
No, you're not!
I'm too old for this.
I don't want to be
around all these babies
playing Pokémon... badly.
This kid right here is just
wasting his Charizard.
You are wasting
your Charizard!
Gentlemen, just in time
for the annual hunting trip,
I've purchased an RV,
and I love it.
It's like driving
a terrible little house.
Hunting trip?
That sounds awesome!
Steve, that trip,
like this table,
is for men only.
Yeah, kid.
So make like Pete Weber
in the tenth frame
of the 2007 Pro Bowling
championships and split.
♪ Da, da, da
I love taking
the old '93 Mercury Sable
out for a little joyride.
Letting her stretch her legs.
Oh, oh, odometer's about
to turn over to all zeros.
That might be interesting
to see.
Ooh, check out this girl.
Just drifting along.
What an interesting look
she has.
I'm so interested
in things today.
And well, I'll just say it:
I'm behaving very interestingly.
♪ Da, da, da
♪ Da, da, da...
Well, that's over.
Oh, damn it!
Y-You following
my daughter?
Screw you, buddy!
Get out of here,
you pervert!
Your weird daughter
made me miss the zeros!
She made me miss the thing!
You freako!
I don't know what
you're talking about!
Get back in your house!
Get back in
your damn house!
Next on Guy Who Gets Laid A Lot,
the guy spends the night alone.
Aw...
Psyche! He totally gets laid.
Oh, they got me.
They got me again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what is this?
A brief PowerPoint
presentation
about why I should go
on that CIA hunting trip.
No, I told you,
it's for men.
Exactly, and as you can see,
I've gone through multiple rites
of passage,
any of which should qualify me
for this manhood you speak of.
What?!
PowerPoint?!
Why does it keep going back?
I don't even want
these transitions.
It's too busy.
Look, Steve, you couldn't
cut it on this hunting trip.
It's for rough and ready men,
and you're a boy.
Then how do I become a man?
Simple-- you have to hunt
and kill an animal.
Well, how am I supposed
to do that
if you won't let me
on the hunting trip?
That's a catch-22.
Joseph Heller's
absurdist novel?
Whoa, stop right there.
You know I only read books
I've already read.
She's a beauty, sir.
You ever want to drive around
with your poop,
this is the vehicle.
Aah!
Yay.
Steve's here.
A spare tire that doubles
as a human boy?
We live in
wondrous times, Smith.
Damn it, Steve, I'm
taking you home right now.
Nonsense. We're here
and I'm ready to hunt.
Now, let's set up camp.
Move!
That!
Bus!
This is how we're camping?
It's glamping,
not camping.
Oh "glamping," huh, Smith?
You refuse to use that word
for six years,
then suddenly your son
shows up,
and it's like
you thought of it.
We've got an oxygen bar,
a yoga studio,
and a good but not amazing
Thai restaurant,
but it's pretty good.
What do you hunt with?
The only gun I've seen
is the one on the buffet.
Guns? Ha! Steve.
It's glunting, not hunting.
We use something
a bit more sophisticated.
We use
the Hunting Command Center.
Men, let's kill some animals.
Movement detected in Sector K-7.
Coordinating satellite path.
Initiating laser.
Firing in three...
two...
Squirrel hunted.
Squirrel down.
Deer!
It's in the Command Center.
We're powerless!
That gun is meant
to be decorative.
It's a conversation piece.
Smile, you son of a bitch.
You're smiling.
You son of a bitch.
It's learning.
Kill it now!
Steve,
this is your man moment.
Steve, you miss...
What?
My boy is dead.
Long live my man.
Hey, they put out éclairs.
*** from the
tree, Francine.
It was one of those tree-bucks.
You know the ones.
Bang! Stab!
Yeah, well, I just know
they're both
in a better place now.
That's right.
Deer hell.
You were so brave.
I'm so proud of my little boy.
Oh, he's no little boy,
Francine.
He's a man.
Great, I-I'm a man.
Can we just not talk
about this anymore?
Well, you're not a man yet.
There's still the Regaling.
What's the Regaling?
"What's the Regaling?"
He wants to know
what the Regaling is.
Never heard of it, he says.
Can you believe this?
If you want to ask me
a question, Stan,
ask me a question,
but don't use me as a prop.
The Regaling
is a marvelous thing.
After every hunt...
oh, it's just divine!
You tell your hunting story
to a bunch of
drunks at the Lodge.
I have to tell my story?
Yes, and the Regaling
will double as your man,
uh, coming out party.
Wait, no, no, no, your man...
arriving at party.
Your manutante party.
Manutante ball.
D-Don't rush me.
Manutante balls.
Uh, went past it.
Steve, let the women
clear the table
while we adjourn
to another room,
so I can tell you
how proud I am of you
without feeling
like a total gaylord.
Roger, are you feeling okay?
You've been quiet
all through dinner.
Oh, Franny.
You ever miss
a moment in your life,
one of those things
you'll never get back?
You know I have
no regrets, Roger.
That's why I got this.
Your arm is right.
I'm gonna drive
another 100,000 miles
and see those zeros,
if it kills me.
Ooh, road trip.
Bring me.
I've got lots
of good travel bits,
like pretending exit names
are movie titles.
State Road, coming soon.
Or Main Street,
from the makers of State Road.
Hmm.
I don't see that getting old.
Let's do it.
Good idea, guys.
You won't "regert" it.
Steve, we don't want to
be late for the Regaling.
You look like the most
handsome man in the world,
Bollywood star Akshay Kumar.
Oh, did you expect me
to say Ryan Gosling?
I said "the world," Steve.
Get out of your
Euro-centric bubble.
Anyway, you look good.
Regaling!
Regaling!
Okay, now, Steve, when you're
telling your hunting story,
don't forget to
mention all the blood.
People love blood.
Dad, when you first
killed something,
did you feel,
I don't know, guilty about...
Steve, you're focusing
on the wrong thing.
There is a lectern that
is exactly your size.
Go get 'em, champ.
Don't forget the bloo...
Ah, he's gone.
You can do this, Steve.
Be a man.
Uh, since time immemorial,
mankind has been terrorized
by-by the deer.
This fleet brown menace
has owned the night,
nibbling at our gardens
before slinking like cowards
back to the forest.
I used to live
in the forest,
but now I live on the wall
with my wife up in my antlers.
This is humiliating.
Thanks, Steve.
Uh...
uh...
Th-Th-These hideous,
huge, uh, vermin...
He didn't even eat the meat.
And all so he could
become a man?
Well, least we know what
kind of man Steve's become...
a bad man.
Uh...
hideous verm...
uh...
I can't.
I can't do this.
I want to be a man,
but not like this.
I feel awful about what I did.
I mean, when I fired,
I was just trying
to scare it off.
I wasn't trying to kill anyone.
Did you hear that?
He wasn't even trying!
He's an effortless killer.
That's right.
With one shot, he slays not one,
not two, not three,
but four deer!
Four?!
I wanted
to surprise you, Steve.
But it turns out these deer
had babies,
and without their parents,
they will surely starve.
All right, Steve! Way to go!
Congratulations!
That a guy!
Steve...
there's only one way
to be saved.
Ugh! Again with this, Merv!
Ever since you got mounted,
all you do is talk about Jesus!
He is the light!
Okay, we want to rack up
miles on this odometer
as quickly as we can,
so no stops,
drive-throughs only.
And we're gonna share
your bowl as a bathroom.
Oh, please, no.
Not my bowl.
Oh, well. I tried.
You're a messed-up
fish, man.
Is that Steve?
He's in the middle of nowhere.
We should pull over.
We don't have time.
Don't make eye contact.
Don't worry, little guys.
I'm gonna
stay here and raise you.
I owe you that much.
And I'm never gonna kill again.
***
***
***
"Dear Mother and Father,
"Do not worry about me.
"I have something I must do.
"I will return,
although I cannot say when.
Tenderly yours,
Steven Anita."
He's run away!
He didn't run away.
Children run away.
Steve's a man now.
He just went to take care
of some business.
It's all here in the note.
I'm worried.
Francine, it says right here,
"Don't worry."
Do you need to read
the note again?
Your reading comprehension
is terrible.
Look, he said he'll be back.
How long can he possibly
be gone, anyway?
That'll be Bullock.
Time for the annual
CIA hunting trip.
I can't believe
it's been a year
since Steve left.
God, I hope he's all right.
I'm sure he's fine.
He's probably living
up in Billings, Montana.
Got a little stake
in a copper mine.
Maybe a wife... Rose.
Good ol' Rosie,
salt of the earth.
He'll get down to Bozeman
one of these days.
It's been so quiet around here.
Roger, Klaus and Hayley
are still on
that 100,000-mile
road trip.
I didn't go on that trip.
Hmm, you've really been flying
under the radar this year.
Mmm! Eat plenty of moss,
my growing boys,
or no lichen for dessert.
I sure like lichen.
Hey, where you going?
The CIA hunting trip.
So, it has been a year already.
Again? You just went!
What do you mean?
You know where it is.
It's wherever
you want it to be.
Is this lasagna?
Did we agree on lasagna?
I never would've voted
for lasagna.
Father!
Steve?!
Steve! You're here!
It's so good to see you.
Well, you've seen me.
And now it's time
for you and your kind
to leave this place.
What are you talking about?
I have renounced
the ways of man,
and have been living
in the woods
raising the two deer
I orphaned.
There will be no hunting
here today,
nor ever again.
But... the things
you're saying!
All this time, I thought...
you're not a man;
you're not even a mammal!
You're an anti-mammal!
That doesn't roll
off the tongue, does it?
I'll have to combine
all those words,
off the cuff,
to create a new word.
I call you "an-i-mal."
That's it...
"an-i-mal."
It may not be a word,
but I know what it means.
Will you make peace
with an... "an-i-mal"?
Did I say that right?
Yes, you did.
And no, I won't!
Then you've brought
this war on yourself.
So does this mean
you and Rosie split up?
Marriage is hard, son!
You gotta learn
to tune out the nonsense!
This is it.
It's finally here!
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
What?!
This is a '93 Sable!
How is this happening?
You can do it.
Almost there.
I'm not a vet, but I think
you're overfeeding your fish.
As for you, all your organs
are wrong and scary to me.
You might want
to have that looked at.
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!
What? What is it?
The ambulance odometer's
about to roll over to 100,000!
You gotta get up here
and see this, bro!
Five zeros?!
Hot dog!
Dear Lord.
Some people go their whole lives
without seeing something
this beautiful.
I can almost...
Boys, all of your training
has been leading to this moment.
Except for
the three months I wasted
trying to teach you English.
Go!
And this one I scraped
on a rock,
but it doesn't hurt.
Sir, I'm picking up
something on the radar.
I know what this is.
Okay, my son wants a war,
let's give it to him.
The sauna!
We still have the steam room!
But I prefer dry heat!
It's an ambush!
We have to rally!
Aah! Ticks!
I feel tired all of a sudden.
My muscles are achy,
and my temperament
feels inconsistent.
American bald eagles!
We're saved!
Snakes!
Our espresso bar
with free WiFi!
I've seen quite enough!
Smith!
We're getting out of here!
And surrender? Never!
I'll tell your family
you were killed by chipmunks.
(engine revs, tires screech
It's about time that the hunter
who became the hunted
becomes the hunter.
Again.
Boys? That you?
It's over. We won.
Dignan? Applejack?
Ugh! I can't smell anything
with my seasonal allergies.
Hey, Zyrtec!
Aah!
You can't stop me
from hunting, Steve.
It's wrong, Dad.
Hunting for sport is wrong.
I feel very differently.
My boys will come for me.
Oh, I'm counting on it.
Don't hurt him!
He's my son!
You betrayed your species.
He's not your son,
he's something for drunks
to shoot at.
I've told you a thousand times,
it's killing
that makes the man.
Clever boy.
No! Don't kill him!
It's not what we do!
Yeah, what he said.
Killing's not what makes a man.
It's something else.
You'll regret it.
I did.
Dad, I'd like you to meet
your grandchildren.
Uh, hello.
Sorry Peepaw tried to kill you.
I've been dreading this day,
but it's time.
You're ready now.
You have to go!
Go! Get out of here!
Shoo!
Yeah, yeah, they left
as soon as you said "go."
You're probably pretty
disappointed in me, huh?
Why would I be
disappointed in you?
'Cause I'm not a man,
and I guess I'll never be.
No, Steve, I was wrong.
Anyone can kill.
But it takes a real man
to show mercy.
You taught me that.
So, I'm a man?
At long last, I'm a man?
You bet your ass you are.
But only in the woods.
And we're never coming
back here again.
So those deer know how to
use guns, huh? That's cool.
Well, we're almost to
100,000 again, Klaus...
's bones.
Ooh! Is that one of
those deer men?
They're so interesting!
Noooo!
Bye, have a beautiful time!