American Dad! (2005–…): Season 9, Episode 10 - Familyland - full transcript
The Smiths take a family vacation to a medieval-style theme park where they're taken prisoner when the frozen head of the park is accidentally thawed.
(upbeat march plays)
♪ Good morning, USA!
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
BULLOCK: This is the story of,
the familiest place on Earth.
Just like the sign says.
Why did I have to read that?
Can't the audience read it?
Oh, they can't.
Right.
(car horns honking)
It's gonna be
so great to finally
spend some time as a family.
It seems like we never
get to do that anymore.
What are you talking about?
You're forgetting
our five-week run
as champions on Family Feud.
Five weeks?
That was all shot
in one afternoon.
Shh. That's a
TV secret.
All I'm saying is that
last time we came here
was one of the best days
this family's had together.
Look how happy we were.
Francine, they don't care.
They're all on their
mobile devices.
They're in their own world.
You're right. Stan,
can you please tell them
to put down their iPads
for a second?
Francine, I'm trying to
concentrate on the road.
And I'm on my last lap.
Whatever.
Mom's cinnamon cookies!
Terrific. No one
cares about me,
they just care
about my cookies.
I don't even care
about your cookies.
We're at the one place
in all the world
where you can
get Trippin' Balls--
tiny pellets
of futuristic ice cream.
Hey, guys, let's all sing
the Trippin' Balls song.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls. ♪
Paul Anka wrote that
in a night.
In a night.
(indistinct crowd chatter)
BULLOCK:
Smith.
Sir, what are you doing here?
Yeah, Avery, shouldn't you
be here with your family?
I don't have a family.
What about that Indian
baby you have sometimes?
This isn't one of those times.
But I am a family-phile.
I have a fetish
for family things.
I know the word "fetish"
makes it sound sexual.
Which is good, because it is.
I see you're all together.
(muffled groan)
STEVE:
Oh, look!
(gasps) It's Mikey Muskrat
and the founder
of the park, Roy Family.
Wasn't Roy Family
a total weirdo?
Yep, I heard he was
cryogenically frozen
somewhere in the park
and that he used to have
two tamed caterpillars
as a mustache.
Are you sure you're not
talking about Walt Disney?
Who?
(sniffs) Oh, my God,
it smells so yummy around here.
Ugh, yeah, they pump in pleasant
smells to make you happier
and want to buy things.
You're such a cynic.
Okay, everybody,
what should we do first?
I know what I'm doing.
Straight to Cartoon City.
It's where Mikey Muskrat
and all of his cartoon pals
go about their daily lives.
They live, they laugh,
they love, they learn.
They're just like us, really.
Except they don't bleed,
and most of them wear bow ties
and gloves but not pants.
Forget Cartoon City.
I'm gonna go
to Wild Wild West World
and ride
Brokeback Splash Mountain.
It's just one long, dark tunnel
where anything can happen.
I vote Outer Space Land.
Can you picture
what these idiots
think space looks like?
It's gonna be Ground Control
to Major Lame.
Oh. I guess
that was kinda lame.
Yeah? Well, I'm going
to Fairytale Land
to teach little girls
that princesses
are an outdated
stereotype perpetuated
by a male-dominated
society.
Well, good news.
There's time for us
to do everything together.
We can start in Cartoon City,
and then head over
to Simpler Times Mountain
for our picnic lunch at noon,
just like we did last time.
Hey, where did everybody go?
They ditched you,
Franny. But not me.
I just rudely walked away
as you were talking.
You did?
When did you...
Oh, I get it.
♪
Hey, you're cutting!
How about I show you
what real cutting is, huh?
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Can you speak into
my microphone?
Whoa, things just got real.
(toy horns honking)
Oh, boy, looks like
cartoon rush hour
is just kicking in.
I want to be a princess
like you when I grow up.
Well, then you just find
the best looking boy you can
and do whatever he says.
Don't listen to her.
You don't need a boy
to define your identity.
You're a strong,
independent girl.
Seriously, whatever he says.
Even if it's
something you think
shouldn't be asked
of a princess.
Because he'll find
a princess who will.
Out of my way, people!
I'm here to laugh
at how cheesy
Outer Space Land is.
Oh... my... God.
They got it exactly right.
(gasps)
Just like the flying cars
on tracks at home.
(crowd booing)
Get outta town, you jezebel!
(giggling)
It's 1:00.
No one showed up for lunch.
Some family vacation this is.
Well, at least we're together.
Yeah, and they just
unload you on me.
Real great park, Roy.
Familyland, my ass.
(crackling)
Whoa, you're the guy
from the statue!
This isn't Familyland.
Gluttony.
Selfishness.
Ugh!
It's become something
sick and perverted.
Shut it down.
Shut it all down.
Hey, you're the boss.
ROY FAMILY:
Attention Familyland patrons,
Familyland is
temporarily closed.
(deep voice):
Forever.
(screams)
(clamoring)
What's happening?
Relax, Francine.
It's just a show.
This is not a show.
Familyland is now a prison.
You will die here.
(woman crying)
Oh, look at that.
This is definitely a show.
Honey, get up.
The talking fist
says it's a show.
Honey?
(crying):
No!
(sobbing)
I-It's a show.
BULLOCK:
And so, the Great Wall rose
and Familyland was
thrown into chaos.
(whooping wildly)
And the people lost
all semblance of civilization.
(whooping wildly)
Get 'im!
Resources were scarce
and tempers flared
as the kingdom hovered
on the brink of war.
Out of the chaos,
four kings rose to power.
In the north, the Tween King
and his army of whiny turds.
To the east, the Feminist Queen
and her army
of splay-legged princesses.
In the south,
a strange-headed man
leads an army
of futuristic astronauts
that are also
somehow old-timey.
And to the west,
the Cowboy King,
Black Stan
and the Italian Stallions.
(whip cracks)
Was there anything else?
Let's see, Francine and Klaus
are tooling around the park,
but you'll see them.
Yep, I think that covers it.
All right,
talk to you next time
there's something to explain.
(indistinct chatter)
Four kings.
(grunts)
Not so fast.
All evens.
Two, four, six,
eight and ten.
Bear, play my favorite song!
ROGER: ♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls ♪
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
Damn it, Roger's been playing
that on a loop all day.
Time to teach him a lesson.
Let's ride.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
(horse whinnies)
Can I help you with something?
You know why I'm here.
You've been playing
that jingle day and night.
I can't hear my piano bear.
Sure, Stan, I'll happily
shut the music off.
If you give me half your
supply of Trippin' Balls.
Yeah, right.
I'll give you a little time
to reconsider my offer.
But know that if you refuse,
the music will never stop.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
Have you had time
to reconsider?
Oops, we overshot.
Hold on.
L-Let me get this
to back up.
Excuse me, can you
back me up a bit?
Ugh, there's no reverse
on this thing.
We're gonna have to do
another full rotation.
Sit tight, Standy.
Do you want to see
me dance, sire?
No, not really.
Are you sure?
Because it looks
something like this.
♪ Zoo zoo, zoo
zooby, zooby zoo. ♪
You disrupted the king's
pleasurable dance.
Guards, kill him!
It's fine.
Let him speak.
Kill him later, got it.
My king, I've returned from
my raid on Fairytale Land.
I bring you churros.
Churros to last a week.
These are days old!
And you've brought
no dipping sauce!
Can we can kill him now?
I don't want you to think
it's the only thing
I'm focused on, but it's
all I can think about.
Oh, I remember this ride.
It was one of
the kids' favorites.
It looks abandoned.
Maybe we can hide out here
until everyone
comes to their senses.
Great idea.
I wonder why they closed this.
I remember it being
very popular.
Well, no one's here.
Let's give it a whirl.
(banjo music playing)
Hello, I'm Pappy Van Pappy.
I'd like to tell you a story
about a rabbit I owned
that ran away.
The rabbit's a metaphor.
For a slave.
Ain't that right,
Floppy Rabbit?
Hmm. This ride
may be a bit dated.
Well, it certainly
has my attention.
And that's when I realized
I like working
on farms for free.
Bye, everybody!
Wow.
25 minutes
of uninterrupted racism.
Yeah, if you don't count
all of your horrified gasps
as interruptions.
I wonder where
that elevator goes.
Well, there's only
one way to find out.
(elevator bell dings)
Hello, Francine.
Roy Family?
But-but you...
Was frozen?
You're right, I were.
But now I wasn't.
Attention denizens
of Familyland.
Now, times are trying
and rations run low,
and I'm sure all of you'd
really like to go home.
Which is why Uncle Roy's decided
to let the last army standing
walk out the front door.
(laughs maniacally)
I'm gonna kill the
last army standing, too.
I just wanted to say
I am a big fan
of Simpler Times Mountain.
I don't understand.
You trapped us in the park
so you could
watch us all kill each other?
And-and why were you
frozen for 30 years?
Answer that last one first.
Try not to tell me what to do.
I built Familyland
to be an Eden,
and I wanted to see it
come to fruition.
So I froze my body,
but not my mind,
right in the center of the park.
That way, I could
watch it all happen.
You were conscious
that whole time?
Oh, yeah, it was awful.
And I had to watch what
happened to my creation.
My park.
Tainted by people who don't
appreciate the value of family.
So, since they
destroyed my dreams,
they can destroy each other.
But... but
I appreciate family.
That has to count
for something.
It does, Francine.
You and I are of a kind.
Which is why we're going to
watch the blood blath together.
Did you just say "blath"?
My tongue's been
frozen for 30 years.
But don't worry,
it'll thaw out.
Today, we go from tweens...
to teens!
(crowd cheering)
Today, we fight for respect!
(crowd cheering)
If we fight hard enough,
will we get husbands?
No!
Ugh, okay, I'll explain
this one more time.
Are there
going to be casualties?
Maybe.
But we're mostly grown men,
and one of the armies
is entirely made up of children.
I don't want to jinx it,
but I like our chances
of going completely
casualty-free.
Okay, I just realized
your laser guns aren't real.
So I have a new strategy,
and you're just gonna
have to trust me on this.
Die for me.
Die... for me.
Okay?
Any questions?
No questions, good.
Nice, isn't it?
This is where
we'll live, Francine,
and you'll have
all the love and respect
a woman like you deserves.
What makes you think
I'd ever marry you?
Marry?
(chuckles)
Listen to her.
Captive for a half an hour
and already trying
to flip it on me.
Sorry, this guy
can't be caught,
but I encourage you to try.
So why don't you
get going on some dinner.
But you just said
you couldn't be caught.
And then
I encouraged you to try.
I'll be in the control room
watching your family
kill each other.
Klaus, we have to do something.
They're all gonna
kill each other.
Wait, what are all these fans?
(gasps) Look.
Hayley was right.
This is how they send smells
out into the park
to get you to buy things.
(gasps) That's it.
Hey, Roy, do you have cinnamon?
I want to make some cookies.
ROY: Oh, my God,
would you leave me alone?!
♪
♪
That's right, kill each other.
(screams)
♪
(sniffs)
(sniffs) What's that smell?
(sniffs) Cinnamon.
Are... a-are those
Mom's cookies?
I don't know,
but i-it smells like...
Home. Home.
Michael Chiklis.
It's coming from up there.
They stopped fighting.
What did you do?
I baked my ass off.
(pounding)
Francine!
We smelled your cookies!
You made us remember, Mom.
I'm so glad you guys are here!
That man, Roy Family,
h-he took me hostage,
he-he made me
iron his pants.
I don't care who you are.
Francine only irons
one person's pants,
and that's all of ours.
(camera clicks)
Well done.
What?
You're why I built Familyland.
I wanted a place where families
would find their
way back together.
You were broken, but, Francine,
you showed me that the
Smith family is worthy.
Wait, Smith.
That's not Jewish, is it?
Then yes, you are indeed
a worthy family.
And, um, here.
Here is your reward.
Ooh, lifetime passes.
It was worth it!
It was all worth it!
What will you do now?
Leave your family.
Come live with me forever.
We'll get an apartment.
What? No.
Then I shall return
to my slumber,
until I'm awakened again
by another family's strife.
Oh, wait, I got to
go to the bathr...
(birds chirping)
There are a lot of blackout
dates on these lifetime passes.
So, are we just gonna ignore
all the truly horrible things
that took place
in the last week?
Gosh, Francine, I think we are.
BULLOCK: And that was the last
time Familyland was visited
by the Smith family.
Or any family, for that matter,
as it was closed immediately
under a mountain of lawsuits.
In its place stands a memorial
wall for the fallen.
As for me, I was never
heard from again.
But some say they still
see me in the park.
(sobbing)
♪ Zoo zoo, zoo zooby,
zooby zoo. ♪
♪ Good morning, USA!
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
BULLOCK: This is the story of,
the familiest place on Earth.
Just like the sign says.
Why did I have to read that?
Can't the audience read it?
Oh, they can't.
Right.
(car horns honking)
It's gonna be
so great to finally
spend some time as a family.
It seems like we never
get to do that anymore.
What are you talking about?
You're forgetting
our five-week run
as champions on Family Feud.
Five weeks?
That was all shot
in one afternoon.
Shh. That's a
TV secret.
All I'm saying is that
last time we came here
was one of the best days
this family's had together.
Look how happy we were.
Francine, they don't care.
They're all on their
mobile devices.
They're in their own world.
You're right. Stan,
can you please tell them
to put down their iPads
for a second?
Francine, I'm trying to
concentrate on the road.
And I'm on my last lap.
Whatever.
Mom's cinnamon cookies!
Terrific. No one
cares about me,
they just care
about my cookies.
I don't even care
about your cookies.
We're at the one place
in all the world
where you can
get Trippin' Balls--
tiny pellets
of futuristic ice cream.
Hey, guys, let's all sing
the Trippin' Balls song.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls. ♪
Paul Anka wrote that
in a night.
In a night.
(indistinct crowd chatter)
BULLOCK:
Smith.
Sir, what are you doing here?
Yeah, Avery, shouldn't you
be here with your family?
I don't have a family.
What about that Indian
baby you have sometimes?
This isn't one of those times.
But I am a family-phile.
I have a fetish
for family things.
I know the word "fetish"
makes it sound sexual.
Which is good, because it is.
I see you're all together.
(muffled groan)
STEVE:
Oh, look!
(gasps) It's Mikey Muskrat
and the founder
of the park, Roy Family.
Wasn't Roy Family
a total weirdo?
Yep, I heard he was
cryogenically frozen
somewhere in the park
and that he used to have
two tamed caterpillars
as a mustache.
Are you sure you're not
talking about Walt Disney?
Who?
(sniffs) Oh, my God,
it smells so yummy around here.
Ugh, yeah, they pump in pleasant
smells to make you happier
and want to buy things.
You're such a cynic.
Okay, everybody,
what should we do first?
I know what I'm doing.
Straight to Cartoon City.
It's where Mikey Muskrat
and all of his cartoon pals
go about their daily lives.
They live, they laugh,
they love, they learn.
They're just like us, really.
Except they don't bleed,
and most of them wear bow ties
and gloves but not pants.
Forget Cartoon City.
I'm gonna go
to Wild Wild West World
and ride
Brokeback Splash Mountain.
It's just one long, dark tunnel
where anything can happen.
I vote Outer Space Land.
Can you picture
what these idiots
think space looks like?
It's gonna be Ground Control
to Major Lame.
Oh. I guess
that was kinda lame.
Yeah? Well, I'm going
to Fairytale Land
to teach little girls
that princesses
are an outdated
stereotype perpetuated
by a male-dominated
society.
Well, good news.
There's time for us
to do everything together.
We can start in Cartoon City,
and then head over
to Simpler Times Mountain
for our picnic lunch at noon,
just like we did last time.
Hey, where did everybody go?
They ditched you,
Franny. But not me.
I just rudely walked away
as you were talking.
You did?
When did you...
Oh, I get it.
♪
Hey, you're cutting!
How about I show you
what real cutting is, huh?
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Can you speak into
my microphone?
Whoa, things just got real.
(toy horns honking)
Oh, boy, looks like
cartoon rush hour
is just kicking in.
I want to be a princess
like you when I grow up.
Well, then you just find
the best looking boy you can
and do whatever he says.
Don't listen to her.
You don't need a boy
to define your identity.
You're a strong,
independent girl.
Seriously, whatever he says.
Even if it's
something you think
shouldn't be asked
of a princess.
Because he'll find
a princess who will.
Out of my way, people!
I'm here to laugh
at how cheesy
Outer Space Land is.
Oh... my... God.
They got it exactly right.
(gasps)
Just like the flying cars
on tracks at home.
(crowd booing)
Get outta town, you jezebel!
(giggling)
It's 1:00.
No one showed up for lunch.
Some family vacation this is.
Well, at least we're together.
Yeah, and they just
unload you on me.
Real great park, Roy.
Familyland, my ass.
(crackling)
Whoa, you're the guy
from the statue!
This isn't Familyland.
Gluttony.
Selfishness.
Ugh!
It's become something
sick and perverted.
Shut it down.
Shut it all down.
Hey, you're the boss.
ROY FAMILY:
Attention Familyland patrons,
Familyland is
temporarily closed.
(deep voice):
Forever.
(screams)
(clamoring)
What's happening?
Relax, Francine.
It's just a show.
This is not a show.
Familyland is now a prison.
You will die here.
(woman crying)
Oh, look at that.
This is definitely a show.
Honey, get up.
The talking fist
says it's a show.
Honey?
(crying):
No!
(sobbing)
I-It's a show.
BULLOCK:
And so, the Great Wall rose
and Familyland was
thrown into chaos.
(whooping wildly)
And the people lost
all semblance of civilization.
(whooping wildly)
Get 'im!
Resources were scarce
and tempers flared
as the kingdom hovered
on the brink of war.
Out of the chaos,
four kings rose to power.
In the north, the Tween King
and his army of whiny turds.
To the east, the Feminist Queen
and her army
of splay-legged princesses.
In the south,
a strange-headed man
leads an army
of futuristic astronauts
that are also
somehow old-timey.
And to the west,
the Cowboy King,
Black Stan
and the Italian Stallions.
(whip cracks)
Was there anything else?
Let's see, Francine and Klaus
are tooling around the park,
but you'll see them.
Yep, I think that covers it.
All right,
talk to you next time
there's something to explain.
(indistinct chatter)
Four kings.
(grunts)
Not so fast.
All evens.
Two, four, six,
eight and ten.
Bear, play my favorite song!
ROGER: ♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls ♪
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
Damn it, Roger's been playing
that on a loop all day.
Time to teach him a lesson.
Let's ride.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
(horse whinnies)
Can I help you with something?
You know why I'm here.
You've been playing
that jingle day and night.
I can't hear my piano bear.
Sure, Stan, I'll happily
shut the music off.
If you give me half your
supply of Trippin' Balls.
Yeah, right.
I'll give you a little time
to reconsider my offer.
But know that if you refuse,
the music will never stop.
♪ Trip, trip, trippity,
dem ol' Trippin' Balls... ♪
Have you had time
to reconsider?
Oops, we overshot.
Hold on.
L-Let me get this
to back up.
Excuse me, can you
back me up a bit?
Ugh, there's no reverse
on this thing.
We're gonna have to do
another full rotation.
Sit tight, Standy.
Do you want to see
me dance, sire?
No, not really.
Are you sure?
Because it looks
something like this.
♪ Zoo zoo, zoo
zooby, zooby zoo. ♪
You disrupted the king's
pleasurable dance.
Guards, kill him!
It's fine.
Let him speak.
Kill him later, got it.
My king, I've returned from
my raid on Fairytale Land.
I bring you churros.
Churros to last a week.
These are days old!
And you've brought
no dipping sauce!
Can we can kill him now?
I don't want you to think
it's the only thing
I'm focused on, but it's
all I can think about.
Oh, I remember this ride.
It was one of
the kids' favorites.
It looks abandoned.
Maybe we can hide out here
until everyone
comes to their senses.
Great idea.
I wonder why they closed this.
I remember it being
very popular.
Well, no one's here.
Let's give it a whirl.
(banjo music playing)
Hello, I'm Pappy Van Pappy.
I'd like to tell you a story
about a rabbit I owned
that ran away.
The rabbit's a metaphor.
For a slave.
Ain't that right,
Floppy Rabbit?
Hmm. This ride
may be a bit dated.
Well, it certainly
has my attention.
And that's when I realized
I like working
on farms for free.
Bye, everybody!
Wow.
25 minutes
of uninterrupted racism.
Yeah, if you don't count
all of your horrified gasps
as interruptions.
I wonder where
that elevator goes.
Well, there's only
one way to find out.
(elevator bell dings)
Hello, Francine.
Roy Family?
But-but you...
Was frozen?
You're right, I were.
But now I wasn't.
Attention denizens
of Familyland.
Now, times are trying
and rations run low,
and I'm sure all of you'd
really like to go home.
Which is why Uncle Roy's decided
to let the last army standing
walk out the front door.
(laughs maniacally)
I'm gonna kill the
last army standing, too.
I just wanted to say
I am a big fan
of Simpler Times Mountain.
I don't understand.
You trapped us in the park
so you could
watch us all kill each other?
And-and why were you
frozen for 30 years?
Answer that last one first.
Try not to tell me what to do.
I built Familyland
to be an Eden,
and I wanted to see it
come to fruition.
So I froze my body,
but not my mind,
right in the center of the park.
That way, I could
watch it all happen.
You were conscious
that whole time?
Oh, yeah, it was awful.
And I had to watch what
happened to my creation.
My park.
Tainted by people who don't
appreciate the value of family.
So, since they
destroyed my dreams,
they can destroy each other.
But... but
I appreciate family.
That has to count
for something.
It does, Francine.
You and I are of a kind.
Which is why we're going to
watch the blood blath together.
Did you just say "blath"?
My tongue's been
frozen for 30 years.
But don't worry,
it'll thaw out.
Today, we go from tweens...
to teens!
(crowd cheering)
Today, we fight for respect!
(crowd cheering)
If we fight hard enough,
will we get husbands?
No!
Ugh, okay, I'll explain
this one more time.
Are there
going to be casualties?
Maybe.
But we're mostly grown men,
and one of the armies
is entirely made up of children.
I don't want to jinx it,
but I like our chances
of going completely
casualty-free.
Okay, I just realized
your laser guns aren't real.
So I have a new strategy,
and you're just gonna
have to trust me on this.
Die for me.
Die... for me.
Okay?
Any questions?
No questions, good.
Nice, isn't it?
This is where
we'll live, Francine,
and you'll have
all the love and respect
a woman like you deserves.
What makes you think
I'd ever marry you?
Marry?
(chuckles)
Listen to her.
Captive for a half an hour
and already trying
to flip it on me.
Sorry, this guy
can't be caught,
but I encourage you to try.
So why don't you
get going on some dinner.
But you just said
you couldn't be caught.
And then
I encouraged you to try.
I'll be in the control room
watching your family
kill each other.
Klaus, we have to do something.
They're all gonna
kill each other.
Wait, what are all these fans?
(gasps) Look.
Hayley was right.
This is how they send smells
out into the park
to get you to buy things.
(gasps) That's it.
Hey, Roy, do you have cinnamon?
I want to make some cookies.
ROY: Oh, my God,
would you leave me alone?!
♪
♪
That's right, kill each other.
(screams)
♪
(sniffs)
(sniffs) What's that smell?
(sniffs) Cinnamon.
Are... a-are those
Mom's cookies?
I don't know,
but i-it smells like...
Home. Home.
Michael Chiklis.
It's coming from up there.
They stopped fighting.
What did you do?
I baked my ass off.
(pounding)
Francine!
We smelled your cookies!
You made us remember, Mom.
I'm so glad you guys are here!
That man, Roy Family,
h-he took me hostage,
he-he made me
iron his pants.
I don't care who you are.
Francine only irons
one person's pants,
and that's all of ours.
(camera clicks)
Well done.
What?
You're why I built Familyland.
I wanted a place where families
would find their
way back together.
You were broken, but, Francine,
you showed me that the
Smith family is worthy.
Wait, Smith.
That's not Jewish, is it?
Then yes, you are indeed
a worthy family.
And, um, here.
Here is your reward.
Ooh, lifetime passes.
It was worth it!
It was all worth it!
What will you do now?
Leave your family.
Come live with me forever.
We'll get an apartment.
What? No.
Then I shall return
to my slumber,
until I'm awakened again
by another family's strife.
Oh, wait, I got to
go to the bathr...
(birds chirping)
There are a lot of blackout
dates on these lifetime passes.
So, are we just gonna ignore
all the truly horrible things
that took place
in the last week?
Gosh, Francine, I think we are.
BULLOCK: And that was the last
time Familyland was visited
by the Smith family.
Or any family, for that matter,
as it was closed immediately
under a mountain of lawsuits.
In its place stands a memorial
wall for the fallen.
As for me, I was never
heard from again.
But some say they still
see me in the park.
(sobbing)
♪ Zoo zoo, zoo zooby,
zooby zoo. ♪