American Dad! (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 3 - Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls - full transcript
Stan's plan to out-do the neighbor's fancy haunted house backfires when Roger releases the serial killers he was borrowing from the CIA. Meanwhile, Steve faces Toshi's revenge when he takes a liking to his sister Akiko.
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
Aah!
♪ American Dad 6x03 ♪
Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls
Original Air Date on November 10, 2010
Wow, a private tennis lesson
with Maria Sharapova.
I scared him
right out the window.
You're the scariest man
I know.
I think I dislocated
my shoulder.
Ah, it's so crooked and awesome.
Don't set it.
We'll freak people out
with it tonight at the...
BOTH
Scariest haunted house
on the block, witches!
And every year you get me
so scared, I pee my pants.
Eight years running.
What up?
Hey.
What do you think
of my poker face?
Call the paparazzi.
Is that Terry?
Terry Gaga.
Looking forward
to your haunted house tonight.
It'll scare you straight.
Every year.
What the heck was that?
Sounds like it came
from Buckle and Shari's house.
Buckle's doing
a haunted house?
That's my thing.
Oh, he's new
to the neighborhood.
He clearly doesn't know
that you're
the Fresh Prince
of Bel Scare.
Let's go see what
this amateur is doing.
Wait, what about
my shoulder?
I'll ... kill you!
Not too shabby, huh?
Everything you see here
is my own creation.
This is all stuff
I wanted to do
when I was an Imagineer
at Disney
but was told my ideas
weren't "family friendly."
I'll skin you alive,
you little whore!
I'm getting my nails done.
I guess I'm taking
the pumpkin car
since my Mazda's blocked in.
And get this facocta
ghoul off the car!
That's your navigation
system, hon.
At the corner, take a fright.
Shut up!
Well, I sure hope
you guys can make it tonight
for all the fun.
But, but I'm, I'm the Fresh
Prince eight years running.
Oh, my God, Buckle!
How do you like
my inflate-double?
Shari says we're
both full of hot air.
I never envisioned
my life like this.
I don't know how to get out.
Steven, let me guess:
you're a Transformer.
A Transformer?
I'm not a child anymore, madam.
I am a Gobot.
And Barry?
I'm Jonah Hill,
or Seth Rogen
if I put on Steve's glasses.
And Snot,
are you a gymnast?
No, these are my
gym clothes, okay?
My mom sold my dragon costume
to buy dental dams.
What do I care if she spreads
what she's got?
She's already got it.
I don't care
if those other guys get it.
Come in, kids.
I bought Toshi
a fun samurai outfit,
but he's too stubborn
to put it on.
But Toshi,
this is your heritage.
Slam!
You promised
your sister.
Unless you boys would be
willing to take Akiko?
Hummina, hummina,
hummina, boner.
What?
No, I mean, I mean, yeah,
you can come,
more the merrier, whatevs.
I love you, not even.
He wants you to protect me
and have me back by sundown.
No, he's looking out for you.
I like that.
Strong family bond.
You know what this says
a lot for?
Two-parent homes.
Let's stay together, people,
let's work it out.
Stan, if you want those
guts to look real,
I suggest using
a Bolognese.
You know, after university,
I traveled through Italy,
stabbing students.
Francine,
where have you been?
You're supposed
to be peeling grapes
for our bowl
of eyeballs.
I had to go see
Buckle's again.
What?!
You went to another man's
haunted house?
I couldn't help it.
I honestly don't know
how I got out of there.
The upstairs hallway spiraled
into a black hole
and the weather kept changing
and then I was a child again.
Well, mine is going
to be way better
once I hang all these cobwebs.
How scary are these?
Spiders made these,
people are meant to think.
Stan, I'm sorry, but you
can't compete with Buckle.
What are you
talking about?
I'm still the
scariest...
What is that sound?
Nothing.
That's pee-pee.
Did you-- did you pee
yourself at Buckle's?
I'm sorry, Stan, but it's
really scary over there.
He has this terrifying
Semitic woman
that keeps screaming "Coasters!"
I couldn't help it.
My panties overflowed
and filled my shoes.
I can't believe
this is happening.
Stan, you're going
to have to face it.
Buckle's haunted house
is better than yours.
The Stan Smith
haunted house era is over.
Wait, but I
already told Bat Boy
he could live in our basement
till spring.
Is there a problem, Stan?
'Cause I already gave up my bed
at the hospital.
Roger?
Down here.
Sit on me, like
a suitcase.
There's a lot of
history in these jeans.
Pam Anderson was
wearing these
when she found out she had all
four hepatitises-- hepatiti?
Either way,
she's a friend.
Ah, forget it.
Don't worry,
I'll get these on
before the haunted
house starts.
Sorry, Roger, it's off.
What?
Francine's thrown in the towel.
She says I can't compete
with Buckle.
And you know what?
She's right.
No, she's not.
You can make your house
scarier than Buckle's.
How?
A lot of folks out there
are trying to scare people
with fake ghouls and goblins.
That's all fantasy.
That's not the world we live in.
It's time to get
back to basics, Stan.
You work at the CIA.
You can get real stuff
that's even scarier.
Real corpses, real eyeballs,
real skeletons.
Stan, it's time for you...
♪ To be real ♪
♪ What you find-ah... ♪
So my haunted house
should be real?
♪ What you feel-ah... ♪
Now you're listening.
♪ What you know-ah... ♪
Uh-huh?
♪ To be real. ♪
Roger, you talk-sing
a lot of sense.
Francine will see
our haunted house
can still be
the scariest.
I'm gonna get real.
You do that.
I'm gonna find out who
these black people are.
Come on, say something
to impress her,
something funny,
something Halloween-related.
So that Cadbury egg I ate
made me gassy.
All right,
the sun's going down.
Let's get Akiko home
so we can head over
to Vince Chung's bonfire
in the woods.
Parents love
P.F. Chang's.
You guys go ahead.
I'll walk Akiko home.
Oh, my God,
the ghost of Whiskers.
I'm sorry, Whiskers!
I didn't know you couldn't
breathe underwater!
Where are you going?
My house is this way.
I know, but
we're having fun.
Plus, I thought we'd head
over to Vince Chung's bonfire.
That sounds great,
but Toshi said I had
to be back by sunset.
He's super protective,
Steve.
Don't worry
about Toshi.
What's he going to do,
come after us?
Yah, yah, yah!
Well, I finally
got into my jeans.
I'm muffin-topping
pretty bad.
Who are they?
Serial killers.
What?!
Yeah, I'm keeping it real,
just like you said.
What's scarier
than real live murderers?
My God, Stan,
you're a genius.
This will be your scariest
haunted house ever.
Francine will forget
all about Buckle.
Usually when I
see men in cages,
they're kissing each other and
I'm throwing pesos at them.
Peso!
Kiss!
Kiss!
Peso!
I used my CIA
connections to borrow
five of the most
ruthless serial killers
on the eastern
seaboard.
When Francine sees I
saved our haunted house,
she's going to be
totally back on board.
And then maybe tonight
I'll introduce her to...
♪ The thickness! ♪
I died of fright
at Buckle's House of Horror.
Free ghost churros
for the little ones.
Did you see those ghosts?
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna swing by Targét
on the way to Buckle's
and pick up some Huggies.
My house is going to be
way better than Buckle's.
I ain't 'fraid
of no ghosts.
How dare you quote
Ghostbusters to me.
I wrote a movie called
Rump Busters and threw it
at a guy on the bus
who looked like Harold Ramis.
Two weeks later,
Ghostbusters came out.
Coincidence?
Absolutely.
Happy Halloween.
Trick or treat!
Oh, my God, Steve and Akiko.
How-- how do you know
our names?
Toshi's looking for you two.
Oh, no, Toshi's furious.
There he is.
Come on, let's cut
through the house.
I... enjoy dolphins.
Where are we going?
Listen.
It's the Langley Falls.
We can hide from
Toshi there.
Next time I'm going to get
a crush on Snot's sister.
She can only move so fast
in those polio braces.
I don't know about this costume.
I want to go as someone sexy.
Come on, everyone
does the sexy thing.
It's so played out.
What the hell are you?
I'm the cowardly lion.
No, you're a sexy
cowardly lion!
Guilty as charged.
Now follow me.
I have a surprise for you.
I don't think you'll be going
to Buckle's when you see...
actual serial killers.
Serial killers?
That's
right.
Uh, what do they do?
It's not
what they do.
It's what
they did.
Between them, they've
killed 86 people,
and most of the hookers
Drew Carey's slept with.
Oh, Stan!
Wow! This place
is magical.
Yeah, every time I come here,
I see something new.
Like a rare insect,
or an older man
and a younger man hooking up.
Hey, let's go swimming!
There's a cave
on the other side of the falls.
They say if you swim
to it with someone,
you're friends forever!
Not the best swimmer.
Guess we're just leaving
our candy unattended.
Akiko, that was
incredible!
Incredible...
Incredible.
That was a duck.
That was a duck.
That was a duck.
Step right up and behold.
Death Row!
More like Lame Row.
Those guys aren't scary at all.
What?!
Hey, let's go to Buckle's.
I hear he's got this tiny bat
that flies up your urethra.
It's crazy.
It feels crazy.
Guys, it's show time!
What gives?
Come on, where's the rage?
Are you tired?
Is it too cold in here?
Is it the lights?
Are they making
that buzzing noise?
Hey, Manny!
The lights are making
the buzzing noise again.
Oh... boy.
Stan, nice try,
but this is so boring.
I'm gonna go to Buckle's.
Please, give
it a chance.
Hello.
Roger, the plan's
not working.
They're just
sitting here.
Well, that's why
I'm dressed like Francine.
You got
to get 'em riled up.
Poke the bear a little.
Appeal to their rapey side.
Anyone want to cut my head off
and have sex with my body?
You look like
a fat pear.
I hate you, you
fat, gray pear!
You monster!
What turns you on?!
Flesh-colored,
non-fruit shaped people?!
Like this one?
Is this what you want?!
Now that's a head
I could cut off!
Let me out of here!
Honey, how come
you're not peeing?
I don't know.
It's like looking at a shark
in an aquarium.
They're menacing,
but it's not really that scary.
Great. Now I need
a new Halloween costume.
Roger, I'm taking one
of your outfits.
Francine, wait!
Do not use
my Barbara Walters outfit!
I'm interviewing Mo'Nique
next week.
I'm gonna ask her
to sit on my lap!
Maybe I'll go as a slutty
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Francine, don't
go to Buckle's!
We can take turns
kicking Bat Boy.
Stan, you don't
have to worry.
I fixed
everything.
What's going on?
I let the
prisoners out.
You what?!
Yeah, Francine was right.
A shark's not very intimidating
behind glass,
but if you're in the ocean
with it...
But Roger, they're
going to kill us all!
And chop off my head!
Scary, right?
Ugh!
I never think things through.
I'm coming for
you, Francine!
Stan, call
the police!
Good thinking.
They cut the line.
Help!
Serial killers
are loose in here!
Call the police!
Let's check
it out.
No, no.
What are you doing?!
Don't come over here!
It's very dangerous!
You will die!
All right!
KID 2:
Hurry up!
KID 3:
Seriously, guys, that homemade
Tootsie Roll made me feel funny.
I think I'm
gonna pass out.
Morons!
Well, we're sitting
ducks up here.
We've got to sneak
out of the house.
before the killers
get to us.
Oh... boy.
Excuse my hair.
It's super frizzy,
and the only thing about this
moment I wish I could change.
Aah!
GoBot activate!
Form of...
escape rocket!
Get out of here!
You're gonna die!
Why are you running?
I love you!
Lean against
the door!
VITAS
The door won't budge.
They must have the
fridge against it.
Uh, this is my wake-up call.
Do it!
Kill me!
Because that's what you're
doing to your sister.
Look, you've got to stop
being so overprotective.
She's not a
little girl, Toshi.
She's a young lady.
I know you love her,
but if you don't loosen
your kung-fu grip,
you're gonna lose her...
forever.
Thanks for sticking up
for me, Steve.
Now I can finally date without
worrying about Toshi's wrath,
which is so great, because
I have such a big crush on Doug.
Doug?!
But Doug's nine.
He's a really nice guy.
And Doug can dance.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
We can't hold them off
forever!
I can't believe we're
gonna get butchered
all because you needed to
have the best haunted house!
I did all this
for you, Francine.
What? Why?
To impress you.
You chose Buckle over me.
It doesn't matter
whose house is scarier.
You're my wife.
You're supposed
to stand by my side,
lie to me and tell me
my house is better.
Oh, my God, Stan,
I'm so sorry.
This is all
my fault.
Yeah, it is your fault.
Head for
the woods!
It's always
safe there!
Hai!
Hai!
Ya!
Ah... ya!
Abba-Zaba!
Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
Come on. There's something
I've wanted to do
since I first laid eyes on you.
Get those bangs off your face.
I'm taking this home with me.
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
Aah!
♪ American Dad 6x03 ♪
Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls
Original Air Date on November 10, 2010
Wow, a private tennis lesson
with Maria Sharapova.
I scared him
right out the window.
You're the scariest man
I know.
I think I dislocated
my shoulder.
Ah, it's so crooked and awesome.
Don't set it.
We'll freak people out
with it tonight at the...
BOTH
Scariest haunted house
on the block, witches!
And every year you get me
so scared, I pee my pants.
Eight years running.
What up?
Hey.
What do you think
of my poker face?
Call the paparazzi.
Is that Terry?
Terry Gaga.
Looking forward
to your haunted house tonight.
It'll scare you straight.
Every year.
What the heck was that?
Sounds like it came
from Buckle and Shari's house.
Buckle's doing
a haunted house?
That's my thing.
Oh, he's new
to the neighborhood.
He clearly doesn't know
that you're
the Fresh Prince
of Bel Scare.
Let's go see what
this amateur is doing.
Wait, what about
my shoulder?
I'll ... kill you!
Not too shabby, huh?
Everything you see here
is my own creation.
This is all stuff
I wanted to do
when I was an Imagineer
at Disney
but was told my ideas
weren't "family friendly."
I'll skin you alive,
you little whore!
I'm getting my nails done.
I guess I'm taking
the pumpkin car
since my Mazda's blocked in.
And get this facocta
ghoul off the car!
That's your navigation
system, hon.
At the corner, take a fright.
Shut up!
Well, I sure hope
you guys can make it tonight
for all the fun.
But, but I'm, I'm the Fresh
Prince eight years running.
Oh, my God, Buckle!
How do you like
my inflate-double?
Shari says we're
both full of hot air.
I never envisioned
my life like this.
I don't know how to get out.
Steven, let me guess:
you're a Transformer.
A Transformer?
I'm not a child anymore, madam.
I am a Gobot.
And Barry?
I'm Jonah Hill,
or Seth Rogen
if I put on Steve's glasses.
And Snot,
are you a gymnast?
No, these are my
gym clothes, okay?
My mom sold my dragon costume
to buy dental dams.
What do I care if she spreads
what she's got?
She's already got it.
I don't care
if those other guys get it.
Come in, kids.
I bought Toshi
a fun samurai outfit,
but he's too stubborn
to put it on.
But Toshi,
this is your heritage.
Slam!
You promised
your sister.
Unless you boys would be
willing to take Akiko?
Hummina, hummina,
hummina, boner.
What?
No, I mean, I mean, yeah,
you can come,
more the merrier, whatevs.
I love you, not even.
He wants you to protect me
and have me back by sundown.
No, he's looking out for you.
I like that.
Strong family bond.
You know what this says
a lot for?
Two-parent homes.
Let's stay together, people,
let's work it out.
Stan, if you want those
guts to look real,
I suggest using
a Bolognese.
You know, after university,
I traveled through Italy,
stabbing students.
Francine,
where have you been?
You're supposed
to be peeling grapes
for our bowl
of eyeballs.
I had to go see
Buckle's again.
What?!
You went to another man's
haunted house?
I couldn't help it.
I honestly don't know
how I got out of there.
The upstairs hallway spiraled
into a black hole
and the weather kept changing
and then I was a child again.
Well, mine is going
to be way better
once I hang all these cobwebs.
How scary are these?
Spiders made these,
people are meant to think.
Stan, I'm sorry, but you
can't compete with Buckle.
What are you
talking about?
I'm still the
scariest...
What is that sound?
Nothing.
That's pee-pee.
Did you-- did you pee
yourself at Buckle's?
I'm sorry, Stan, but it's
really scary over there.
He has this terrifying
Semitic woman
that keeps screaming "Coasters!"
I couldn't help it.
My panties overflowed
and filled my shoes.
I can't believe
this is happening.
Stan, you're going
to have to face it.
Buckle's haunted house
is better than yours.
The Stan Smith
haunted house era is over.
Wait, but I
already told Bat Boy
he could live in our basement
till spring.
Is there a problem, Stan?
'Cause I already gave up my bed
at the hospital.
Roger?
Down here.
Sit on me, like
a suitcase.
There's a lot of
history in these jeans.
Pam Anderson was
wearing these
when she found out she had all
four hepatitises-- hepatiti?
Either way,
she's a friend.
Ah, forget it.
Don't worry,
I'll get these on
before the haunted
house starts.
Sorry, Roger, it's off.
What?
Francine's thrown in the towel.
She says I can't compete
with Buckle.
And you know what?
She's right.
No, she's not.
You can make your house
scarier than Buckle's.
How?
A lot of folks out there
are trying to scare people
with fake ghouls and goblins.
That's all fantasy.
That's not the world we live in.
It's time to get
back to basics, Stan.
You work at the CIA.
You can get real stuff
that's even scarier.
Real corpses, real eyeballs,
real skeletons.
Stan, it's time for you...
♪ To be real ♪
♪ What you find-ah... ♪
So my haunted house
should be real?
♪ What you feel-ah... ♪
Now you're listening.
♪ What you know-ah... ♪
Uh-huh?
♪ To be real. ♪
Roger, you talk-sing
a lot of sense.
Francine will see
our haunted house
can still be
the scariest.
I'm gonna get real.
You do that.
I'm gonna find out who
these black people are.
Come on, say something
to impress her,
something funny,
something Halloween-related.
So that Cadbury egg I ate
made me gassy.
All right,
the sun's going down.
Let's get Akiko home
so we can head over
to Vince Chung's bonfire
in the woods.
Parents love
P.F. Chang's.
You guys go ahead.
I'll walk Akiko home.
Oh, my God,
the ghost of Whiskers.
I'm sorry, Whiskers!
I didn't know you couldn't
breathe underwater!
Where are you going?
My house is this way.
I know, but
we're having fun.
Plus, I thought we'd head
over to Vince Chung's bonfire.
That sounds great,
but Toshi said I had
to be back by sunset.
He's super protective,
Steve.
Don't worry
about Toshi.
What's he going to do,
come after us?
Yah, yah, yah!
Well, I finally
got into my jeans.
I'm muffin-topping
pretty bad.
Who are they?
Serial killers.
What?!
Yeah, I'm keeping it real,
just like you said.
What's scarier
than real live murderers?
My God, Stan,
you're a genius.
This will be your scariest
haunted house ever.
Francine will forget
all about Buckle.
Usually when I
see men in cages,
they're kissing each other and
I'm throwing pesos at them.
Peso!
Kiss!
Kiss!
Peso!
I used my CIA
connections to borrow
five of the most
ruthless serial killers
on the eastern
seaboard.
When Francine sees I
saved our haunted house,
she's going to be
totally back on board.
And then maybe tonight
I'll introduce her to...
♪ The thickness! ♪
I died of fright
at Buckle's House of Horror.
Free ghost churros
for the little ones.
Did you see those ghosts?
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna swing by Targét
on the way to Buckle's
and pick up some Huggies.
My house is going to be
way better than Buckle's.
I ain't 'fraid
of no ghosts.
How dare you quote
Ghostbusters to me.
I wrote a movie called
Rump Busters and threw it
at a guy on the bus
who looked like Harold Ramis.
Two weeks later,
Ghostbusters came out.
Coincidence?
Absolutely.
Happy Halloween.
Trick or treat!
Oh, my God, Steve and Akiko.
How-- how do you know
our names?
Toshi's looking for you two.
Oh, no, Toshi's furious.
There he is.
Come on, let's cut
through the house.
I... enjoy dolphins.
Where are we going?
Listen.
It's the Langley Falls.
We can hide from
Toshi there.
Next time I'm going to get
a crush on Snot's sister.
She can only move so fast
in those polio braces.
I don't know about this costume.
I want to go as someone sexy.
Come on, everyone
does the sexy thing.
It's so played out.
What the hell are you?
I'm the cowardly lion.
No, you're a sexy
cowardly lion!
Guilty as charged.
Now follow me.
I have a surprise for you.
I don't think you'll be going
to Buckle's when you see...
actual serial killers.
Serial killers?
That's
right.
Uh, what do they do?
It's not
what they do.
It's what
they did.
Between them, they've
killed 86 people,
and most of the hookers
Drew Carey's slept with.
Oh, Stan!
Wow! This place
is magical.
Yeah, every time I come here,
I see something new.
Like a rare insect,
or an older man
and a younger man hooking up.
Hey, let's go swimming!
There's a cave
on the other side of the falls.
They say if you swim
to it with someone,
you're friends forever!
Not the best swimmer.
Guess we're just leaving
our candy unattended.
Akiko, that was
incredible!
Incredible...
Incredible.
That was a duck.
That was a duck.
That was a duck.
Step right up and behold.
Death Row!
More like Lame Row.
Those guys aren't scary at all.
What?!
Hey, let's go to Buckle's.
I hear he's got this tiny bat
that flies up your urethra.
It's crazy.
It feels crazy.
Guys, it's show time!
What gives?
Come on, where's the rage?
Are you tired?
Is it too cold in here?
Is it the lights?
Are they making
that buzzing noise?
Hey, Manny!
The lights are making
the buzzing noise again.
Oh... boy.
Stan, nice try,
but this is so boring.
I'm gonna go to Buckle's.
Please, give
it a chance.
Hello.
Roger, the plan's
not working.
They're just
sitting here.
Well, that's why
I'm dressed like Francine.
You got
to get 'em riled up.
Poke the bear a little.
Appeal to their rapey side.
Anyone want to cut my head off
and have sex with my body?
You look like
a fat pear.
I hate you, you
fat, gray pear!
You monster!
What turns you on?!
Flesh-colored,
non-fruit shaped people?!
Like this one?
Is this what you want?!
Now that's a head
I could cut off!
Let me out of here!
Honey, how come
you're not peeing?
I don't know.
It's like looking at a shark
in an aquarium.
They're menacing,
but it's not really that scary.
Great. Now I need
a new Halloween costume.
Roger, I'm taking one
of your outfits.
Francine, wait!
Do not use
my Barbara Walters outfit!
I'm interviewing Mo'Nique
next week.
I'm gonna ask her
to sit on my lap!
Maybe I'll go as a slutty
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Francine, don't
go to Buckle's!
We can take turns
kicking Bat Boy.
Stan, you don't
have to worry.
I fixed
everything.
What's going on?
I let the
prisoners out.
You what?!
Yeah, Francine was right.
A shark's not very intimidating
behind glass,
but if you're in the ocean
with it...
But Roger, they're
going to kill us all!
And chop off my head!
Scary, right?
Ugh!
I never think things through.
I'm coming for
you, Francine!
Stan, call
the police!
Good thinking.
They cut the line.
Help!
Serial killers
are loose in here!
Call the police!
Let's check
it out.
No, no.
What are you doing?!
Don't come over here!
It's very dangerous!
You will die!
All right!
KID 2:
Hurry up!
KID 3:
Seriously, guys, that homemade
Tootsie Roll made me feel funny.
I think I'm
gonna pass out.
Morons!
Well, we're sitting
ducks up here.
We've got to sneak
out of the house.
before the killers
get to us.
Oh... boy.
Excuse my hair.
It's super frizzy,
and the only thing about this
moment I wish I could change.
Aah!
GoBot activate!
Form of...
escape rocket!
Get out of here!
You're gonna die!
Why are you running?
I love you!
Lean against
the door!
VITAS
The door won't budge.
They must have the
fridge against it.
Uh, this is my wake-up call.
Do it!
Kill me!
Because that's what you're
doing to your sister.
Look, you've got to stop
being so overprotective.
She's not a
little girl, Toshi.
She's a young lady.
I know you love her,
but if you don't loosen
your kung-fu grip,
you're gonna lose her...
forever.
Thanks for sticking up
for me, Steve.
Now I can finally date without
worrying about Toshi's wrath,
which is so great, because
I have such a big crush on Doug.
Doug?!
But Doug's nine.
He's a really nice guy.
And Doug can dance.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
We can't hold them off
forever!
I can't believe we're
gonna get butchered
all because you needed to
have the best haunted house!
I did all this
for you, Francine.
What? Why?
To impress you.
You chose Buckle over me.
It doesn't matter
whose house is scarier.
You're my wife.
You're supposed
to stand by my side,
lie to me and tell me
my house is better.
Oh, my God, Stan,
I'm so sorry.
This is all
my fault.
Yeah, it is your fault.
Head for
the woods!
It's always
safe there!
Hai!
Hai!
Ya!
Ah... ya!
Abba-Zaba!
Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
Come on. There's something
I've wanted to do
since I first laid eyes on you.
Get those bangs off your face.
I'm taking this home with me.