American Dad! (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 18 - Flirting with Disaster - full transcript
Stan becomes upset when Francine takes the receptionist job at his CIA office.
There's this misconception
that the CIA
is only about
thwarting terrorism.
Truth is, we're just like
any other office.
Come on. You can do this.
- Boo!
- You suck, Jackson!
It says
"No touchy."
Yep, just your average,
everyday office.
No espionage around here.
Especially with
this little trick.
No! not my privacy strips.
Please come back.
♪ American Dad 6x18 ♪
Flirting with Disaster
Original Air Date on May 15, 2011
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Kind of fun when your
car's in the shop
and I get to
drive you to work.
Makes me feel like
we're partner cops.
Let's roll,
there's a 10-2
over on eight,
with a couple
of perps.
Hey, why don't I come by
and pick you up for lunch?
Oh, babe, you know
I'd love to spend
every minute
of every day with you,
but I am too swamped
to go off-campus today.
He really means it.
He'd spend every minute
of every day with me
if he could.
Security gate.
Oh, God!
This is good. Kiss.
Kiss.
Whew! We almost had
two cars in the shop.
Morning, Stan.
Good morning,
Lorraine.
Uhp-pa-pa. Hang on.
I got to go over you
with the metal detector.
Bup-bup, bup-bup,
bup-bup, bup-bup
bup-bup, bup-bup,
bup-bup, bup-bup.
Uh-oh! Someone's got
buns of steel!
You smell that?
Something's on fire?
Oh, it's you--
you're smoking.
Yeah, I flirt at work.
We all do.
It's-it's nice
to feel desirable, you know?
It's harmless fun. Like eating
grapes at the supermarket,
or taking your penis out
on the subway.
Yeah! Shake it,
Thunder Butt!
I actually have a nickname
around here.
The ladies gave it to me because
of my legendary derriere.
Oh, you want to see
the Thunder Clap?
Whoo!
Yeah. There he goes.
Oh, man!
Check it.
Hard, right?
Like two rocks kissing
over the mouth of a coyote den.
Hey, ginger scoops.
I was looking at nudie
mags in that field
and I need you to
check me for ticks.
Oh, goodness.
This is truly the most beautiful
birdhouse I've ever seen.
Did you buy it from God?
No, I made it myself.
Steven, you have a gift.
With my business savvy
and your natural ability,
we could make a fortune.
Oh, I just do it for fun,
and to help a bird or two
get out of the cold.
What if you could help
thousands of birds?
Gosh, I-I'd say "yes."
Put her there, partner.
I'll go drum up
some business.
But first, I really need
you to check me for ticks.
Anything?
They're tough to see.
And I said, "I don't
like tomatoes,"
and he said he can make it
without the tomatoes.
Sounds delish.
This is good.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Oh, I didn't know
the forecast
was calling for thunder.
Whoo! Whoo!
Thunder? What's she
talking about?
Oh, she's big
into hang gliding.
She probably won't
go up today.
Not with that much chop.
Phew!
Attention everyone!
Some of you have been asking
where my assistant
Monroe has gone.
What happened to him?!
Simmer, Sanders.
Monroe has decided
to breed mastiffs up in Canada.
Apparently you can get
$1,200 per puppy.
So that's pretty good.
Anyway...
I decided to promote Lorraine
to be my new assistant.
Now, we'll need
a new receptionist,
so I'm going through résumés.
But I'll be honest,
the only ones we've gotten
are from Chinese spies
trying to infiltrate us.
Silly Chinese.
Even with their ninja magic they
could never pass for one of us.
They've mastered
art of the noodle,
but not art of disguise.
Good one, Butch.
But seriously,
anyone know anything
about any launch codes?
My name is Butch Johnson
from 5 Green Lane,
Plymouth, Indiana,
zip 46563-3781.
I like shooting hoops
and Ms. Kelly Ripa.
But seriously,
anyone seen anything to do
with launch codes?
Bam!
Two orders. Prepaid.
Oh, boy.
Wait. Two houses?
I-I don't know if I can produce
at that volume.
Steve, relax.
You just concentrate on being
the creative force God made you,
and leave the rest to me.
To our new business.
To our new...
These are a lot stronger
than when I was a kid.
Jocelyn. Joss.
Jossy.
I wish that I was
Jossy's girl.
Stan?
Ooh! Francine!
What are you doing here?
I work here.
I'm the new receptionist.
I'll be right back. I got to go
fill out my paperwork with HR.
Isn't this great?
You're still filming?!
Don't you have
enough footage yet?
What is this even for?
Uh, we are
Dutch documentary crew.
Yes, the Dutch.
I believe them.
Checks out to me!
But seriously,
anyone know anything
about any
launch codes?
Isn't this great,
us working together?
I know. Yay.
How did this happen?
It was at one of your office
Christmas parties, years ago.
With Steve now in school,
I've got the itch
to start working again.
Your chest is crazy.
Definitely send me
your résumé.
I didn't get the job
at the time,
but when I was dropping you
off the other morning,
I ran into Bullock.
My leg!
You bitch! I'm gonna
sue the living...
Crazy Chest.
How are you?
Well, that is
just fantastic.
Mind if I borrow
your desk rock?
Are you nuts?!
You hired my wife?!
So? I also banged
your daughter.
And remember your
Fourth of July barbecue?
I muff-punched
your gram-gram;
she was just too senile
to know it.
Work is where I come
to socialize.
Having Francine here
will ruin that.
How would you like it
if your wife worked here?
Oh, I'd love it.
Is there an opening for a woman
who bangs every black man
she meets in a Red Lobster
parking lot?
Three more orders.
You bought a scooter?
Shouldn't we be putting our
profits back into the company?
The birdhouse game
is all about appearance, Steve.
Do you think I would have made
all those sales
if I had shown up
on my Hippity Hop?
All right. Well,
can you at least go get me
some more supplies?
I'm on it.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Stan. Hi.
Oh, hi, Francine.
How's your day going?
Thunder!
Uh, I-I really got to go.
I-I have to mail something.
Yeah! Show the new girl
the Thunder Clap.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
Yeah!
Well. That was something.
Francine, I can explain.
Stan, don't worry
about it.
It's just a little
harmless flirting.
Right, that's
all it is.
You don't have
to change your behavior
now that I'm here.
Are-are you sure?
Absolutely. Flirt away.
Hey, Jocelyn,
good news.
I can still throw goldfish
crackers into your cleavage.
Feel the bullet
stuck in there?
Mmm, I can't tell if it's
that or an ab muscle.
Everything's so hard.
Is this-is this how we're
fighting al-Qaeda now?
By-by horsing around?!
Stan, how come
you didn't tell me
everyone is so nice here?
I've got your
wedding ring.
Technically,
you're not married.
Hey, you give that back.
Yeah! I'm the Mayor
of Jam City!
Hi, honey. How
was your day?
Thompson's riding
my ass again.
He still wants you to get that
proposal done by Monday?
I'm sorry, I'm going to
have to work all weekend.
Oh, poor baby.
Tell you what.
I'll sit on the kids tonight.
You take a hot bath...
Tatianna!
Leave me! Save the kids!
No...!
What a piece of crap.
Oh, no!
How could
this happen?!
This isn't a McGinty screw.
It's just a cheap knockoff!
How on Earth...?
Roger!
That bastard!
Oh, Greg, look!
The Aquabot made it
to the shallow end.
Come on. Stop it.
Oh! Wheel me back
to my desk.
Spinny chair!
Who wants my hot black box?
Of coffee!
What's the matter with you guys?
You forget about Lorraine
already?
I'm wearing my Pocahontas boots.
Oh, damn.
Oh, damn, my ankle.
Damn it!
These Indian boots
are sexy as hell,
but they do not support
my frame.
Spinny chair.
I invented spinny chair.
Don't talk to me
about spinny chair.
I hear you.
I'm old news.
Everyone's just interested
in that wife of yours.
Well, I'm not happy
about it, either.
When I flirt, it's cute--
borderline Smurfy.
When she flirts, it's not cute.
Sounds to me
like that milky jezebel's
giving us both trouble.
If we want things
to get back to normal,
we got to come up with a way
to get Francine out of there.
Yeah, uh-huh.
I hear you.
Oh, hey.
How's your ankle?
Not good.
Doctor says I got
to lose 55 pounds.
I said, "Well,
I'm losing you.
That's 200 pounds
right there."
Mm-hmm!
Where... the hell...
is my sandwich?!
Where is Francine Smith?
Oh. Uh, her and a few people
went down to the quad.
Hey, Lorraine,
you got to get to the quad.
I thought of a way to take care
of our Francine problem.
Oh, I was just about
to call you.
I'm already down here.
I came up with a plan myself.
Oh, God!
That's acid in your face,
you fine-ass bitch!
What kind of monster
are you?
You said,
"Get rid of her."
I meant get her fired.
I stayed up all night
plotting an intricate scheme
with Bullock's sandwich.
Yeah, well, while you
were playing sandwiches,
I was coming up
with a real plan.
You melted my wife's face!
Please.
How bad is it, Doc?
Here. Lookie.
Oh, God!
Oh, no! Oh, God!
How could you show me that?
I know.
Normally, we'd give her
a skin graft,
but we're currently in
a nationwide skin shortage.
We'll put her on the wait list,
but it could take years.
Unless...
she dies.
Why did Lorraine
do this?
I don't know.
I was just talking to her
about getting you fired.
I-I didn't mean
for her to...
Wait. You were in
on this?
I can't believe
my ears.
You mean the holes where
your ears used to be.
And I'm sorry.
Get out of here, Stan.
I can't stand
to be around you.
Okay, well...
I'm going to go downstairs
and grab a hamburger.
♪ Just like
the white-winged dove ♪
♪ Sings a song,
sounds like she's singing ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
You!
Steve!
You bought cheap
screws, Roger!
You cut corners to pay
for your... your whores
and your drugs and your
stupid Klaus tattoo!
Klaus likes it.
You know what?
You're nothing but
a drug addict.
Birds died
because of you!
Oh, my God. Who cares?
Our partnership is over!
I never want to
see you again!
Then, don't look
in the night sky,
because I'm a star.
And that's not
the cocaine talking.
So, girls, tell me more
about your childhood.
Now, that's the
cocaine talking.
How's she doing?
Well, the good news is,
eight people waiting for skin
have died,
so we're moving up the list.
But Francine's furious with me.
Do you want me
to read to your wife?
I could read her
some launch codes.
But I would need
those launch codes.
Good morning.
Oh, my God. I'm out of here.
Oh, no.
What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at home
in case the skin people call?
You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
Me sitting at home while
you're here having fun.
Forget it, buster.
I still have a job to do,
and I'm not going to
let you take that away.
Is that Francine's voice I hear?
Look who made
a speedy recov...
No.
Hey, Jackson.
I have a face muffin
in the toaster.
Oh, hi, Ann.
I need to talk to you
about ordering some...
Not in the budget.
Hey, Dick.
Do me a favor.
Yeah, buddy. Anything.
Can you go chat with my wife,
flirt with her a little?
Your wife?
No.
I saw Newsies
on Broadway, man.
I paid my dues.
Are you sure there's no way?
Francine!
Hey, foxy.
Oh. Uh, hey, Dick.
You... want to
talk to me?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Settling back in okay?
Keep going.
What you working on?
Oh, I'm just...
Oh, sorry.
Been shedding scabs all day.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's cool.
I can't do it!
Easy choice.
Hi, baby.
You were threatening him
so he'd talk to me?
Stan, I can't...
believe how dirty it is
under my desk.
Hey. Roger.
Wow. I almost
didn't recognize you.
It's been a long time.
I see you're still doing
the birdhouse thing.
It passes the time.
It was always
in your blood.
Yeah.
So how have you been?
Good. Real good.
Real good.
Cleaned up my act.
Got sober.
Living with a gal
over on Canal Street.
Taking a couple classes
over at the Y.
Getting this tattoo lasered off.
The... the treatments hurt
more than putting
the darn thing on.
I'm sure. I'm sure.
Listen, Steve, I'm sorry
about what happened.
What I put you through.
Water under the bridge.
Hon-honestly.
Well, I better
get going.
Maybe we can grab a cup
of coffee sometime?
I'd like that.
Hey, Roger.
Yeah?
I'm rooting for you.
I know, Steve.
You always were.
Our birdhouse business
had been hard on me,
but it had taken
a real toll on Roger.
I knew it wasn't true--
the classes, the girlfriend,
the sobriety.
It was all a lie.
That's why I wasn't surprised
to read in the paper
that he had OD'd
not ten seconds later.
Hey, Butch, it's Stan.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Fork, fork,
fork, fork, fork!
Get rid of the chopstick
and use the fork!
Hey, Stan.
What up, playa?
I'm just hanging out
with the Dutch.
Hey, sorry to
bother you at home.
It's just, I-I got
those launch codes
you've been
asking about.
Oh, my God.
But first,
I just need you
to take my wife to
lunch tomorrow.
You know, flirt with her,
make her feel good.
Aah! I give up.
I am Chinese spy.
Don't make me have
meal with your wife.
Her face is too much!
Oh, just have
a seat anywhere.
I don't know
what to do.
No one at work will
flirt with my wife.
Why do you need someone
to flirt with your wife?
What do you mean?
To make her feel
good about herself.
But you're her husband.
Why you no do that?
Well, because...
I don't know.
I-I guess...
I didn't think
it would mean as
much coming from me.
That so stupid,
you silly goose.
Everything mean more
from spouse.
You're right.
You're right.
Thank you.
So...
I'm not in trouble
for being a spy?
Oh, no, you are.
Can you believe
that guy?
You Dutch are
all right, though.
Now, I have a question--
do all your ovens
smell like farts?
Where does that... where
does that saying come from?
Hey, beautiful.
Stan?
What are you doing?
Flirtin' with ya.
Stan, it doesn't count.
I'm your wife.
No, it counts more
than anything.
Instead of wasting my time
flirting with people at work,
I should have been
flirting with you.
You mean flirt...
with each other?
Go ahead.
Try it, Soft Shoulders.
Okay.
Um, what do you want
for dinner?
No, that's not good.
Um, did you remember
to pay the gas bill?
No.
God, it's so hard
with you!
Uh... oh, I got it.
We have that thing
at Steve's school
on Wednesday night.
That maybe we should
blow off and...?
Do something more fun...?
Like get drunk on
margaritas...?
And touch butts
under a bridge!
Okay, well,
it's a start.
We'll get the
hang of it.
I love you, Thunder Butt.
That's it!
What's it, my love?
There you go.
Good as new.
Hey, Crater Butt.
Hey, Ass Face.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
that the CIA
is only about
thwarting terrorism.
Truth is, we're just like
any other office.
Come on. You can do this.
- Boo!
- You suck, Jackson!
It says
"No touchy."
Yep, just your average,
everyday office.
No espionage around here.
Especially with
this little trick.
No! not my privacy strips.
Please come back.
♪ American Dad 6x18 ♪
Flirting with Disaster
Original Air Date on May 15, 2011
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Kind of fun when your
car's in the shop
and I get to
drive you to work.
Makes me feel like
we're partner cops.
Let's roll,
there's a 10-2
over on eight,
with a couple
of perps.
Hey, why don't I come by
and pick you up for lunch?
Oh, babe, you know
I'd love to spend
every minute
of every day with you,
but I am too swamped
to go off-campus today.
He really means it.
He'd spend every minute
of every day with me
if he could.
Security gate.
Oh, God!
This is good. Kiss.
Kiss.
Whew! We almost had
two cars in the shop.
Morning, Stan.
Good morning,
Lorraine.
Uhp-pa-pa. Hang on.
I got to go over you
with the metal detector.
Bup-bup, bup-bup,
bup-bup, bup-bup
bup-bup, bup-bup,
bup-bup, bup-bup.
Uh-oh! Someone's got
buns of steel!
You smell that?
Something's on fire?
Oh, it's you--
you're smoking.
Yeah, I flirt at work.
We all do.
It's-it's nice
to feel desirable, you know?
It's harmless fun. Like eating
grapes at the supermarket,
or taking your penis out
on the subway.
Yeah! Shake it,
Thunder Butt!
I actually have a nickname
around here.
The ladies gave it to me because
of my legendary derriere.
Oh, you want to see
the Thunder Clap?
Whoo!
Yeah. There he goes.
Oh, man!
Check it.
Hard, right?
Like two rocks kissing
over the mouth of a coyote den.
Hey, ginger scoops.
I was looking at nudie
mags in that field
and I need you to
check me for ticks.
Oh, goodness.
This is truly the most beautiful
birdhouse I've ever seen.
Did you buy it from God?
No, I made it myself.
Steven, you have a gift.
With my business savvy
and your natural ability,
we could make a fortune.
Oh, I just do it for fun,
and to help a bird or two
get out of the cold.
What if you could help
thousands of birds?
Gosh, I-I'd say "yes."
Put her there, partner.
I'll go drum up
some business.
But first, I really need
you to check me for ticks.
Anything?
They're tough to see.
And I said, "I don't
like tomatoes,"
and he said he can make it
without the tomatoes.
Sounds delish.
This is good.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Oh, I didn't know
the forecast
was calling for thunder.
Whoo! Whoo!
Thunder? What's she
talking about?
Oh, she's big
into hang gliding.
She probably won't
go up today.
Not with that much chop.
Phew!
Attention everyone!
Some of you have been asking
where my assistant
Monroe has gone.
What happened to him?!
Simmer, Sanders.
Monroe has decided
to breed mastiffs up in Canada.
Apparently you can get
$1,200 per puppy.
So that's pretty good.
Anyway...
I decided to promote Lorraine
to be my new assistant.
Now, we'll need
a new receptionist,
so I'm going through résumés.
But I'll be honest,
the only ones we've gotten
are from Chinese spies
trying to infiltrate us.
Silly Chinese.
Even with their ninja magic they
could never pass for one of us.
They've mastered
art of the noodle,
but not art of disguise.
Good one, Butch.
But seriously,
anyone know anything
about any launch codes?
My name is Butch Johnson
from 5 Green Lane,
Plymouth, Indiana,
zip 46563-3781.
I like shooting hoops
and Ms. Kelly Ripa.
But seriously,
anyone seen anything to do
with launch codes?
Bam!
Two orders. Prepaid.
Oh, boy.
Wait. Two houses?
I-I don't know if I can produce
at that volume.
Steve, relax.
You just concentrate on being
the creative force God made you,
and leave the rest to me.
To our new business.
To our new...
These are a lot stronger
than when I was a kid.
Jocelyn. Joss.
Jossy.
I wish that I was
Jossy's girl.
Stan?
Ooh! Francine!
What are you doing here?
I work here.
I'm the new receptionist.
I'll be right back. I got to go
fill out my paperwork with HR.
Isn't this great?
You're still filming?!
Don't you have
enough footage yet?
What is this even for?
Uh, we are
Dutch documentary crew.
Yes, the Dutch.
I believe them.
Checks out to me!
But seriously,
anyone know anything
about any
launch codes?
Isn't this great,
us working together?
I know. Yay.
How did this happen?
It was at one of your office
Christmas parties, years ago.
With Steve now in school,
I've got the itch
to start working again.
Your chest is crazy.
Definitely send me
your résumé.
I didn't get the job
at the time,
but when I was dropping you
off the other morning,
I ran into Bullock.
My leg!
You bitch! I'm gonna
sue the living...
Crazy Chest.
How are you?
Well, that is
just fantastic.
Mind if I borrow
your desk rock?
Are you nuts?!
You hired my wife?!
So? I also banged
your daughter.
And remember your
Fourth of July barbecue?
I muff-punched
your gram-gram;
she was just too senile
to know it.
Work is where I come
to socialize.
Having Francine here
will ruin that.
How would you like it
if your wife worked here?
Oh, I'd love it.
Is there an opening for a woman
who bangs every black man
she meets in a Red Lobster
parking lot?
Three more orders.
You bought a scooter?
Shouldn't we be putting our
profits back into the company?
The birdhouse game
is all about appearance, Steve.
Do you think I would have made
all those sales
if I had shown up
on my Hippity Hop?
All right. Well,
can you at least go get me
some more supplies?
I'm on it.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Stan. Hi.
Oh, hi, Francine.
How's your day going?
Thunder!
Uh, I-I really got to go.
I-I have to mail something.
Yeah! Show the new girl
the Thunder Clap.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
Yeah!
Well. That was something.
Francine, I can explain.
Stan, don't worry
about it.
It's just a little
harmless flirting.
Right, that's
all it is.
You don't have
to change your behavior
now that I'm here.
Are-are you sure?
Absolutely. Flirt away.
Hey, Jocelyn,
good news.
I can still throw goldfish
crackers into your cleavage.
Feel the bullet
stuck in there?
Mmm, I can't tell if it's
that or an ab muscle.
Everything's so hard.
Is this-is this how we're
fighting al-Qaeda now?
By-by horsing around?!
Stan, how come
you didn't tell me
everyone is so nice here?
I've got your
wedding ring.
Technically,
you're not married.
Hey, you give that back.
Yeah! I'm the Mayor
of Jam City!
Hi, honey. How
was your day?
Thompson's riding
my ass again.
He still wants you to get that
proposal done by Monday?
I'm sorry, I'm going to
have to work all weekend.
Oh, poor baby.
Tell you what.
I'll sit on the kids tonight.
You take a hot bath...
Tatianna!
Leave me! Save the kids!
No...!
What a piece of crap.
Oh, no!
How could
this happen?!
This isn't a McGinty screw.
It's just a cheap knockoff!
How on Earth...?
Roger!
That bastard!
Oh, Greg, look!
The Aquabot made it
to the shallow end.
Come on. Stop it.
Oh! Wheel me back
to my desk.
Spinny chair!
Who wants my hot black box?
Of coffee!
What's the matter with you guys?
You forget about Lorraine
already?
I'm wearing my Pocahontas boots.
Oh, damn.
Oh, damn, my ankle.
Damn it!
These Indian boots
are sexy as hell,
but they do not support
my frame.
Spinny chair.
I invented spinny chair.
Don't talk to me
about spinny chair.
I hear you.
I'm old news.
Everyone's just interested
in that wife of yours.
Well, I'm not happy
about it, either.
When I flirt, it's cute--
borderline Smurfy.
When she flirts, it's not cute.
Sounds to me
like that milky jezebel's
giving us both trouble.
If we want things
to get back to normal,
we got to come up with a way
to get Francine out of there.
Yeah, uh-huh.
I hear you.
Oh, hey.
How's your ankle?
Not good.
Doctor says I got
to lose 55 pounds.
I said, "Well,
I'm losing you.
That's 200 pounds
right there."
Mm-hmm!
Where... the hell...
is my sandwich?!
Where is Francine Smith?
Oh. Uh, her and a few people
went down to the quad.
Hey, Lorraine,
you got to get to the quad.
I thought of a way to take care
of our Francine problem.
Oh, I was just about
to call you.
I'm already down here.
I came up with a plan myself.
Oh, God!
That's acid in your face,
you fine-ass bitch!
What kind of monster
are you?
You said,
"Get rid of her."
I meant get her fired.
I stayed up all night
plotting an intricate scheme
with Bullock's sandwich.
Yeah, well, while you
were playing sandwiches,
I was coming up
with a real plan.
You melted my wife's face!
Please.
How bad is it, Doc?
Here. Lookie.
Oh, God!
Oh, no! Oh, God!
How could you show me that?
I know.
Normally, we'd give her
a skin graft,
but we're currently in
a nationwide skin shortage.
We'll put her on the wait list,
but it could take years.
Unless...
she dies.
Why did Lorraine
do this?
I don't know.
I was just talking to her
about getting you fired.
I-I didn't mean
for her to...
Wait. You were in
on this?
I can't believe
my ears.
You mean the holes where
your ears used to be.
And I'm sorry.
Get out of here, Stan.
I can't stand
to be around you.
Okay, well...
I'm going to go downstairs
and grab a hamburger.
♪ Just like
the white-winged dove ♪
♪ Sings a song,
sounds like she's singing ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
You!
Steve!
You bought cheap
screws, Roger!
You cut corners to pay
for your... your whores
and your drugs and your
stupid Klaus tattoo!
Klaus likes it.
You know what?
You're nothing but
a drug addict.
Birds died
because of you!
Oh, my God. Who cares?
Our partnership is over!
I never want to
see you again!
Then, don't look
in the night sky,
because I'm a star.
And that's not
the cocaine talking.
So, girls, tell me more
about your childhood.
Now, that's the
cocaine talking.
How's she doing?
Well, the good news is,
eight people waiting for skin
have died,
so we're moving up the list.
But Francine's furious with me.
Do you want me
to read to your wife?
I could read her
some launch codes.
But I would need
those launch codes.
Good morning.
Oh, my God. I'm out of here.
Oh, no.
What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at home
in case the skin people call?
You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
Me sitting at home while
you're here having fun.
Forget it, buster.
I still have a job to do,
and I'm not going to
let you take that away.
Is that Francine's voice I hear?
Look who made
a speedy recov...
No.
Hey, Jackson.
I have a face muffin
in the toaster.
Oh, hi, Ann.
I need to talk to you
about ordering some...
Not in the budget.
Hey, Dick.
Do me a favor.
Yeah, buddy. Anything.
Can you go chat with my wife,
flirt with her a little?
Your wife?
No.
I saw Newsies
on Broadway, man.
I paid my dues.
Are you sure there's no way?
Francine!
Hey, foxy.
Oh. Uh, hey, Dick.
You... want to
talk to me?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Settling back in okay?
Keep going.
What you working on?
Oh, I'm just...
Oh, sorry.
Been shedding scabs all day.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's cool.
I can't do it!
Easy choice.
Hi, baby.
You were threatening him
so he'd talk to me?
Stan, I can't...
believe how dirty it is
under my desk.
Hey. Roger.
Wow. I almost
didn't recognize you.
It's been a long time.
I see you're still doing
the birdhouse thing.
It passes the time.
It was always
in your blood.
Yeah.
So how have you been?
Good. Real good.
Real good.
Cleaned up my act.
Got sober.
Living with a gal
over on Canal Street.
Taking a couple classes
over at the Y.
Getting this tattoo lasered off.
The... the treatments hurt
more than putting
the darn thing on.
I'm sure. I'm sure.
Listen, Steve, I'm sorry
about what happened.
What I put you through.
Water under the bridge.
Hon-honestly.
Well, I better
get going.
Maybe we can grab a cup
of coffee sometime?
I'd like that.
Hey, Roger.
Yeah?
I'm rooting for you.
I know, Steve.
You always were.
Our birdhouse business
had been hard on me,
but it had taken
a real toll on Roger.
I knew it wasn't true--
the classes, the girlfriend,
the sobriety.
It was all a lie.
That's why I wasn't surprised
to read in the paper
that he had OD'd
not ten seconds later.
Hey, Butch, it's Stan.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Fork, fork,
fork, fork, fork!
Get rid of the chopstick
and use the fork!
Hey, Stan.
What up, playa?
I'm just hanging out
with the Dutch.
Hey, sorry to
bother you at home.
It's just, I-I got
those launch codes
you've been
asking about.
Oh, my God.
But first,
I just need you
to take my wife to
lunch tomorrow.
You know, flirt with her,
make her feel good.
Aah! I give up.
I am Chinese spy.
Don't make me have
meal with your wife.
Her face is too much!
Oh, just have
a seat anywhere.
I don't know
what to do.
No one at work will
flirt with my wife.
Why do you need someone
to flirt with your wife?
What do you mean?
To make her feel
good about herself.
But you're her husband.
Why you no do that?
Well, because...
I don't know.
I-I guess...
I didn't think
it would mean as
much coming from me.
That so stupid,
you silly goose.
Everything mean more
from spouse.
You're right.
You're right.
Thank you.
So...
I'm not in trouble
for being a spy?
Oh, no, you are.
Can you believe
that guy?
You Dutch are
all right, though.
Now, I have a question--
do all your ovens
smell like farts?
Where does that... where
does that saying come from?
Hey, beautiful.
Stan?
What are you doing?
Flirtin' with ya.
Stan, it doesn't count.
I'm your wife.
No, it counts more
than anything.
Instead of wasting my time
flirting with people at work,
I should have been
flirting with you.
You mean flirt...
with each other?
Go ahead.
Try it, Soft Shoulders.
Okay.
Um, what do you want
for dinner?
No, that's not good.
Um, did you remember
to pay the gas bill?
No.
God, it's so hard
with you!
Uh... oh, I got it.
We have that thing
at Steve's school
on Wednesday night.
That maybe we should
blow off and...?
Do something more fun...?
Like get drunk on
margaritas...?
And touch butts
under a bridge!
Okay, well,
it's a start.
We'll get the
hang of it.
I love you, Thunder Butt.
That's it!
What's it, my love?
There you go.
Good as new.
Hey, Crater Butt.
Hey, Ass Face.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==