American Dad! (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 16 - Jenny Fromdabloc - full transcript

♪ Good morning, USA! ♪

♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪

Aah!

♪ Good morning, USA! ♪

♪ American Dad 6x16 ♪
Jenny Fromdabloc
Original Air Date on April 17, 2011

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Nice use of
letter E, Barry.



I like that.

Snot! Get your
head in the game!

This is how we lose
men; good men!

Sorry, Steve.

She's just
so beautiful.

Look at her.

Are you digging for my heart
in there, tadpole?

It's there.

That's where it resides.

Hey, you shouldn't be
worrying about girls

for another ten years.

You should be worrying
about blocks

and making pee-pee
on the potty.

Girls, this guy's
worried about!



You're right,
Steve.

You're always right.

Interesting how
we've developed

such a sophisticated
hierarchy at this young age.

Shut up,
Barry.

I'm at
the bottom.

Snot!
Focus!

I can't take it anymore!

He doesn't treat her right!

Why isn't he grabbing her tush?

Give it a
rest, Snot.

We have to focus
on what to do

for our sixth annual
Best Friends Excursion;

which some people
have misinterpreted

since we printed
shirts that read:

"Hardcore B.F.
Weekend."

Now, as you know,

every year we pool our leftover
baby-sitting and allowance money

and use it to take a trip
together as best pals.

And every year, I come up with

something awesome
for us to do.

Like the time we went
to Dennis Quaid's house.

Do you boys
have any water?

Cause I got some pills
I'd like to get put in me.

Get out of here,
Randy!

You get out of here now!

Get!

That was a
great trip.

Expired. Expired. Expired.

Should we just have a baby?

I guess.

I am here for the fair Hayley!

Oh, God.

Hayley, I love you!

Oh, God.

And I'm not leaving until
you say you love me back.

No. I don't love you, okay?

I'm married. Sometimes happily.

I thought you might say that.

But wait till you hear this!

Aha! I hired a
12-piece orchestra

to play your favorite song,

"Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio.

♪ ♪

Now what do you say?

No.

I thought
you might say that.

But feast your eyes
on this!

Aha-ha!

Elephant.

Your favorite animal.

I rented it for you.

Say you love me!
No.

I thought
you might say that.

But wait until you see
what's in the elephant's sack.

Aha-ha!

Batteries!

Your favorite thing

on your favorite animal!

No.

I thought you might say that.

But wait until you see this!

Aha-ha!

What do you say now, my love?

Go... away.

Snot, it's okay.

You tried,
huh, big guy?

No. It's not okay.

It's never gonna be okay!

If it makes you feel any better,

I'm pretty sure
she has the herps.

Yeah,
she does.

Sam, you didn't turn Larry Tate
into a horse did you?

Well...

How great is Bewitched?

I wish we lived
in the '60s.

Men wore suits and drank
martinis all day long.

Francine,
starting tomorrow,

I want you to greet me at
the door with a martini

when I get home from work.

Stan, martinis
are pretty strong,

and you're not much of a drinker.
What?!

Just last week
at Sanders' barbecue,

I poured a whole amber lager
down my mighty throat

in just under two hours.

All right. I guess
it does sound kind of fun.

Oh! I Dream of Jeannie
is on next.

Know what else
sounds fun?

You start wearing see-through
pants and living in a bottle.

The CIA has a great shrink ray.

I'd carry tiny you around
and feed you grains of rice.

Come on, do it.

Snot, just pick up.

I'm sorry Hayley rejected you,
but look at it this way:

now that you've spent
all your bar mitzvah money

trying to get her, you don't
have to worry about your mom

stealing it out of
your account anymore.

I am stressing out, Steve!

My company just announced

they're no longer
matching our 401Ks.

My doctor gave me
a promotional stress ball,

as if fidgeting
with some dumb ball

will take the weight
of the world off my shoulders.

Actually, it's helping a lot.

Whatever, Roger.

Snot just got his heart broken,
and I have to cheer him up.

Hey... actually,
maybe you could help!

You know, uh, put-put together
a teenage girl disguise.

Laugh at his jokes, smile,
twirl your hair a little.

Build his confidence.

No, no. I can't just switch
personas like that.

See, sometimes
certain characters

just grab ahold of you,

and, brother, they set up shop
in the depths of your soul.

You get to go to Forever 21.

Cigarette jeans!

You gonna play that game
or just lean on it?

Name's Jenny.

Jenny Fr mdabloc.

I'm Steve's cousin
visiting from Jersey.

Yes! Y-Yes,
she is.

I-I didn't mention
it because...

No one's doing the math.

Your hair,
it's curly.

You should see it when
I wash it on Tuesdays.

You're funny.

Come on, boys. Let's give
these two a little space.

So... buy me
a soda pop?

I've only got enough
money for one Coke.

Oh, that's so sweet.
We'll share.

Or I'll just have it.

So, basically, we all eat seven
spiders a year in our sleep.

Snot? Are you okay?

I almost didn't make it
to school.

Oh, no, Jenny.

What did she do?

Oh, Steve!

We went to Taco King, and
then we rode the Ferris wheel,

then we went to the beach
and stayed up all night

talking about our hopes
and dreams.

Then I her!

I finally did it, man.

I'm not a virgin anymore.

You slut!

I have to say,
it was super relaxing

being an innocent young girl
for a change.

Innocent?! You did it
with Snot on the beach!

Yeah, I did.

Got sand all up
in my Jenny dress,

not to mention my gopher hole.

Oop, I mentioned it.

You're an alien! How is that
even physically possible?!

Well, you see, Steve,
just because I don't have

your traditional
human genitalia...

Nah... no!
My ears!

I'm sorry I ever asked
you for this favor.

I should've known
you'd take it too far.

Yeah, you should've.

You've known me for years,
Steve.

So, you know, once you've
been intimate with a lady,

you start to see it
everywhere.

Like in the sideways mouth
of a bearded man...

Ohhh...

Hey, guys, so I
had a few pitches

for our annual friends excursion.
I was thinking...

And boobies!

You know how desk lamps have
those little nubs at the top?

If you turn that,

you can have more light
to see the boobies.

Oh, Steve.
You're home.

I made bologna roll-ups
for Snot and your...

cousin?
Mm, cousin.

Cousin.

You can have these, Steve.

We have roll-ups of our own.

Mmm...

Yuck!

Oh, hello, Hayley.

I'm here visiting
my girlfriend.

Ew.

She's jealous.

You're so classy.
Mmm...

Um, what is going on here,
Jenny?

I'll tell you what's going
on here: I like Snot.

He's cute and he's funny
and he treats me nice.

Reminds me of a
young Paul Reiser.

He is nothing like
a young Paul Reiser.

He's Rob Morrow,
on his best day.

Listen, Jenny, I should
probably get home anyway.

No... don't go.

Mm... I don't
want to go.

Then stay.

I wish I could
stay forever.

Promise me you'll visit
my dreams tonight.

Oh, come on!

Honey, I'm home!

Hi, dear.

Martini?
Perfect.

Just like Darrin and Sam.

So elegant.

Cheers... darling.

Stan, get in the car!

Hada baga! Hada ba-gaga!

Clearly you can't
handle your gin!

Now get in, damn it!

Vault!

You see that, Harold?

That man tried to put his
package into that mailbox.

Maybe he
thought it was a female box.

A fe... a female box...

Oy.

It's been nine years
since Judy died.

It's sort of
weird, huh,

hanging out at
your house, Snot?

I mean, we-we usually
hang out at my place.

Yeah. Stuff happens at other
people's houses, too, Steve.

Don't go in there, huh?

What are we watching?

Well, Jenny, I think
you're watching us decide

what we're gonna do for
our friends excursion.

Okay, ready?

You know how Baskin-Robbins
has 31 flavors?

Get this: We try
every single flavor...

in one day. Huh?

Hmm...

I was thinking we'd go
to Wild West Land.

Yeah!
Yeah!

And remember, boys,
there will be girls aplenty

at Wild West Land.

Take it from someone who's
getting sniz on the reg.

Come on. 31 Flavors is
a much better idea

than Wild West Land.

Hey, whatcha thinkin'?

I don't want to
tell in front of these guys.

You want to tell me
over there?

Yeah.

Okay, let's go.
Okay.

Hey, what are we
supposed to do?

Well, I guess
we could...

Not you, virgin!

Do you know
what time it is?

Nope. We were having
sex in the park,

and I totally lost track.

I must have been
making weird noises

'cause a bunch of cats
wouldn't leave us alone.

Had to throw
a couple cats.

Roger, you have to stop this.

I see.

I know what's really
going on here.

You can't stand
the fact

that Snot's cool now,

and you're no longer
king of the nerds!

That's ridiculous!

I mean sure there's been
an established hierarchy, but...

What...
wh-what is that?

Oh, this?
My stress ball.

But there's
a crack in it.

Uh-huh.

Oh, my God, that's how
you and Snot have been...

Relieving stress.

Because this is
a stress ball.

And trust me,
Snot's been relieving

a lot of stress into
this thing.

Good night!

They went to Wild West Land
without me?

Hey, Steve, I'm just
telling a few people,

I'm making belt buckles now
if you want to buy one.

Check it out.

He's got red eyes
from smoking weed.

I really can't believe
you're an educator, Brian.

My job's mostly
administrative.

Traitors!

Last I checked,
friends excursions

included all
of the friends.

How could you come here
without me?

Because you
hate Jenny,

and you're jealous that I'm
getting sniz on the reg.

Stop saying that!

Sorry, Steve.
Snot's cooler.

Okay, okay.

Hey, Snot, heads up.

What's this?

A stress ball.

Feel familiar?

This is what Jenny was using
to fake sex with you.

What?!

She didn't do it with you
for real.

You're still a virgin!

Ohhh...

Jenny, how could you?

I'm sorry!

You made a fool
out of me!

I never want
to see you again.

I need this now more than ever
for its intended purpose!

"Sons of Tucson,
new on Fox"?

When was this on?

I watch Fox;
I never saw this.

Please.

Fine! Just go.

Just-just ruin
two lives and go!

Roger, I didn't
ruin your life.

Jenny's not even real.

But our love was!

Snot loved Jenny

and Jenny loved Snot.

Ew.

So, guys, let's hit
31 Flavors this weekend.

What do you say, Snot?

I'm thinking
of moving to Cheyenne

to live with my uncle Pat.

Look, I know you're upset,
but you had to know the truth.

Trust me, it's best
for the group.

You're right, Steve.

You're always right.

Again, just
want to mention

I'm selling belt
buckles I made.

I also got a line
of retro ones.

Yep, that was the time.

That was the music
of the time.

The drug of the time?

"Kyo-kyaine."

Hey, where's my martini?

You're not getting one.

You can't handle your alcohol.

Of course, I can.

Yesterday I just had to
get the kinks worked out.

Tonight I'm ready to live

like a gentleman
of the '60s.

Now, martini me, sweetheart.

I tell you I was
in the best shape of my life.

I was closer to God
than I've ever been,

and I was flush
with cash.

Stan, I really don't
want to talk

about the fifth
grade anymore.

Fine.

How, how did you...?

How did you do that?

Do what?

You passed out, and I
went and got you water.

I barely blinked!

And things then all changed

like on Bewitched.

Where did you get
that broom?

Did you ride that broom
into the living room

because you're a witch?!

I'm married to a witch!

It's time you knew the truth.

Your father won't be
joining us for dinner.

I'm sorry our horse-for-two
costume freaked him out, Mrs. S.

Just bad timing, Jeff.

It's a sex thing.

I know, Jeff.

Hey, Roger.

Snot made me this.

He made it out
of his Spanish worksheet.

You really liked
him, didn't you?

I did, I did.

He was just really sweet.

Roger, I'm sorry.

I guess I did want
to be king of the nerds.

But I'd rather have Snot happy
than be king of anything.

I want Snot happy,
too, Steve.

But it's too late now.

Snot won't take me back

after you revealed Jenny
was faking it with him.

True, but I think
I just found a way

for you to make him feel
like a man again.

Ooh, how about you fill me in
over a couple of beers?

Great, right?

I had two party balls
implanted in my chest.

One light beer,
one regular.

Comin' at ya!

Ahh! Stop it!

Squirt.
No!

Hey, stop it!
Squirt.

Quit it!
Squirt, squirt.

Aah! Squirt, squirt. Quit it!

It's no good, Steve.

Nothing's gonna cheer me up.

You gonna use that street
lamp or just lean on it?

You!

Snot, please
hear me out.

Yes, I tricked you
with a stress ball,

and it was a rotten
thing to do.

Extra rotten,
if you ask me!

I know.

But I did it because
I was saving myself

for someone I loved.

And I've realized that
that someone is you.

I want to do it
for real tonight.

What do you say?

Make love to me again?

For the first time?

Come here, you!

Wow, Snot, you're the man again.

Until tonight, my love.

Noooo...!

She loved you, man.

She loved you and you were
about to have sex with her.

That's closer than any of us
have ever gotten.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

So, Steve, what
should we do now?

What do you feel
like doing, big guy?

Maybe we should go
to 31 Flavors.

That sounds great.

You know, things
aren't so bad.

I've got good friends,
and I realized

I can get over the death of a
girlfriend really quickly.

What are you doing here?

Come to pay respects

to one of my best
characters ever.

How'd you fake
her death, anyway?

Oh, that was easy.

Until tonight,
my love.

I can move really, really fast.

Noooo...!

You sure can.

I can.

My underwear!

Can I have those back?

No. I already sold them
to that guy.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Bye! Have a beautiful time.