American Dad! (2005–…): Season 11, Episode 1 - Roots - full transcript
Stan opposes the building of a new arena football stadium because his "tree father" will be cut down. Klaus recommends a specialist for Steve to help him become taller.
*AMERICAN DAD*
Season 13 Episode 01
"Roots?"
Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala
- Sir, what's with all the hubbub?
- Smith, why are you wearing
the same basic bitch tie
you wear every day?
Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.
What fashion show?
The one we have every year
after Father's Day.
This year's theme... "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,
all the way down
to the Langley Lake.
Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.
Here comes Duper
in what's sure to be the
dad look of summer...
a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!
But... But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.
This is impossible!
My family forgot to celebrate... me.
Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.
♪ Cream, I need it 'cause
you know that I'm a fiend ♪
♪ Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine ♪
♪ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ♪
♪ Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream ♪
♪ I need it 'cause you know
that I'm a fiend ♪
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- ♪♪ Gettin' freaky in my Bentley limousine ♪♪
♪ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ♪
- All right!
- ♪♪ Know what I mean? Peaches and cream ♪♪
One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offer
on the inside
as he does on the backside.
Yeah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
- ♪♪ Good... ♪♪
- ♪♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪♪ Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in years
but my relationship with my dry
cleaner has never been stronger.
Oh, my...
Home runs today, Roger!
Dad, did you hear Roger's story?
Yeah, it was... kind of funny.
O... kay.
So, um, how was work?
Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hate
died in that botched mission?
No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.
Dad, what's going on?
- You forgot Father's Day!
- What?!
Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."
Do you know where that is?
It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymore
because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toilet
- and going up butts!
- Father, I've failed you!
- I'm so sorry!
- Oh, my God.
I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,
my whole weekend
just slipped away.
Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?
- I don't know.
- Come on! You name it.
We'll give you your perfect day.
Huh. I guess that could work.
Smith.
Well, that's unfortunate.
Thanks for calling.
This day is...
turning around!
The twins are dead!
♪ Rich and Mitch
were found in a ditch ♪
♪ Doo-da, doo-da ♪
♪ Sorry, Mrs. Jankovich,
your stupid sons are dead ♪
- Mm!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
until the next Father's Day...
and 22 seconds until I take the pills
that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.
OCD, OCD, OCD.
Now here's an oldie but a groovy!
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
"For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."
"For my entertainment...
anything." Yes!
"For my present...
a homemade birdhouse.
Thinkin' about becoming a bird guy."
- Happy Father's Day!
- Birdhouse is coming along great.
'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,
and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.
Steve, you've made peace with
- never being with a woman, right?
- Uh, yeah.
Hey, Dad.
Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."
Well, I admire a good karate chop.
Find something there.
Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.
Mwah!
Leave it.
It's your day.
A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.
You can see everything
from the stove.
Not bad, son.
I'd say this house is...
for the birds.
We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.
Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.
But you don't seem
to know that I want it
from Boston Market.
Still, looks great.
♪ You're the corduroy of dads ♪
♪ The best one I've ever had ♪
♪ I wrote this song for you, Daddy ♪
♪ I wrote this song
for you-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Ye-a-a-a-h ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Good job, honey! Kind of
reminds me of early Dylan...
like, really early,
before he learned
how to play the guitar.
But I loved it.
What a great day, Stan.
For you, not me.
That guy on the bus
got in my face again,
- and I just finally lost it...
- Yeah, it was a nice day.
Guess the family proved
they really do care.
Are you... kidding me?!
They forgot Father's Day!
And they covered for it
with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?
"Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.
Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."
Roger! Why do you
always have to be
the little devil
on people's shoulder?
W-W-Whoa.
Hang on, Klaus.
Roger may have a point.
Stan?
Well, I... guess
it could have been better.
Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.
'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
until the next Father's Day...
and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...
"For my present...
a homemade birdhouse.
Please... not open-concept."
Happy Father's Day!
Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig down
for your luau dinner.
So "hula" at your girl!
- Leave it. It's...
- It's my day.
Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?
Because I erased their memories
so they could relive
the previous day,
giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.
You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?!
Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?
Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.
So, the family has no idea
they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?
Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.
Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped... Whipped clea...
Why... Why can't I say this?
I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.
I feel like we're building
to the point
where you tell us
how you did this.
- Are we?
- We are.
The C.I.A. was having...
Wait, wait.
Stan, how long is this story?
'Cause I just want to know...
do I sit, do I stand?
Medium-long?
Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.
The C.I.A. was...
No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.
You seemed real unsure
about your answer.
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
The C.I.A. was having
a yard sale.
Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.
The C.I.A. had to have
a yard sale
for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale...
to make an ass-load of money.
"Got my dream part
in the school play."
Signed, "The sweetest boy in Oz."
This is not how I want
to remember my son.
You don't have to.
Just use this.
It's a memory neutralizer.
Flashes a light that wipes
the last 24 hours
from your memory.
I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."
That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.
So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,
I decided to use it on the family.
- Wait. What happened to Roger?
- He went on a vape run, bro.
The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.
But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.
What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.
This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,
and they haven't quite made up.
But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.
Almost done with the birdhouse.
Hey, the skylight you wanted...
it can be just painted on, right?
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
♪ There's nothing that I wanna do ♪
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya two days...
♪ More than get alone
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya two days...
♪ and be alone with you
♪ Trouble with dreams
is they don't come true ♪
♪ And when they do,
they could catch up to you ♪
Good morning!
♪ You don't need a thing
from me, but I ♪
♪ I need something big from you ♪
♪ 'Cause you know I've got ♪
- ♪♪ An awful lot of big dreams ♪♪
- Good morning!
♪ I'm walkin' down a lonely road ♪
♪ Clear to me now, but I
was never told ♪Good Morning
OCD, OCD, OCD. Now...
♪ Trouble with dreams
is you never know ♪
♪ When to hold on
and when to let go ♪
- ♪♪ If you let me down, it's all right ♪♪
- here's an oldie but groovy.
- ♪♪ At least that leaves something for
me ♪♪ - ... but groovy...
Snot: Steve!
Where have you been?
You've missed five weeks of school!
I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith, but I'm gonna...
- Why am I...
- Once more.
Again.
And two more for good luck.
And one for your mother.
- We need to talk, bro.
- Not now, Klaus.
I have to top off the Pert Plus
and reset all the radio recordings
so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.
- Dude, you've lost it.
- Tomorrow.
I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.
It is my privilege
to welcome our nominee
for president of the United States...
Senator Vincent Thacker!
Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,
Senator Bill Sturges, we can
get this country back on track.
Just got off the phone
with The Post.
Tomorrow,
they're running an exposé.
Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?
Are you hearing me?!
It's over!
What... What is that?
Mine!
Oh!
Now it's mine.
What is it, my child?
It has returned.
To destroy it,
we must return it to its source.
Shh!
Come with me.
There's no time.
Damn, Steve! You wake up
camera-ready, lucky dog.
Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.
No time for what?
And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!
Me?
Forget about it!
No phone calls before noon.
Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.
Damn!
And no morning breath?
Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?
Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!
Where'd all this come from?
Check the artist's signature.
"Steve Smith"?
I don't remember making this.
But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S's
to make them look like
scary snakes.
Here it is again!
Every night,
your dad resets your memory,
so every morning,
you wake up thinking
it's Father's Day again... and again!
Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.
It riveted the nation for months!
In the end, it turned out to be
just a goat in a Starter jacket.
Dad's not gonna get away
with this.
Yeah! Dad's lost it.
Klaus, he's not your dad.
Well, well, well.
- Dad!
- No.
Looks like you got it all figured out.
W-W-Why are you
doing this to us?
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?
Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,
no matter how many chances
I give you!
Chances? What are you
talking about?
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...
Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's Day
every day for six months!
You brainwashed us?!
Oh, of course!
Make it about you!
Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,
I'll get everything out
of my system so I can
wake up tomorrow without
being so cheesed off!
Go ahead, Steve...
cry!
It'd be weirder if you didn't!
Go ahead, Hayley... gasp.
- It'd be weirder if you didn't!
- Stan, enough!
Since when is anything
enough for you?
For the last 20 years,
you just sit around
and wait for me
to bring home money.
"I need rugs.
I need bananas."
Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.
Oh, I haven't even started.
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,
because this never happened.
Starting... now.
Now!
Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!
Aw, Stan.
When I was grabbing a snack
last night,
I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counter
'cause it wasn't on my... radar.
I...
Uh, uh...
And I wasn't really
getting a snack.
That mission was purely
to be a rascal.
Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltines
and four packs of Gushers.
Happy Father's Day.
Hey, guys.
Uh, I know you didn't think
my jokes earlier were very funny.
Jokes?! What you said
was unforgivable!
You can't dissect comedy!
Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,
so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.
Just pretend SpongeBob is me.
And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,
he's sorry
he insulted his family.
You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.
Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.
But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.
You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.
We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use it
to make you forget
all the things I said...
and the so-called "gun incident."
There's another memory eraser?!
That might be the only way
we can be a family again.
I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.
We all want to forget.
Roger: Ow!
Bad news... We sold
the other memory neutralizer.
No!
Wait.
What's in the box, then?
Lil' Angelo!
Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.
Gretchen the Guinea Pig ran
a tight race, but I think
we're still a ways off from
electing a female mascot.
Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?
Yeah. Got the receipt right here.
- Some C.I.A. collector in Ohio.
- Ohio?!
B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those things
- to get there!
- Yeah, If we don't make it by morning,
we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!
All the jokes.
Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.
Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forget
doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.
And then forget.
Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?
- Yep.
- Driving's pretty cool.
You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?
- What?
- Yeah, you'll be driving soon.
Stan, leave him alone.
What? I'm doing something
nice... father/son.
Here, take the wheel.
Aah!
It's just like
one of your video games...
the ultimate video game.
You only have one life...
well, technically, four lives.
Whoop! Guardrail.
Please tell me you can fix this.
What makes you think
I can fix...
Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.
No, no, no, I'm not a mechanic.
I'm just a strange man.
Guys, we got one!
Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.
We don't know who this is
or what they're into.
The mouse can never resist
the cheese.
Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
- What?
What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?
- What do you mean?
- What's the most you've ever taken?
I've done seven.
Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!
Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.
Hey.
Eight.
Hey. Hey.
We're good.
The place we're going
is just right up here.
One more... right here.
27.
Let me just say thanks
to our friend.
He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.
Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happy
to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.
Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!
The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.
Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!
How do I know how to do this?!
Dad!
We only have four minutes!
I believe this is
what you came for.
Now let's talk about a fair price.
Okay, we only got 30 seconds.
I'll just zap you,
and we can forget
about the worst day of our lives.
You know, I... I meant
what I wrote on the cake.
"Bad dad... sad."
Aah! That's hot!
Steve, that was our last chance.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but we shouldn't forget this day.
Right! Because we made all these great
new memories today... as a family!
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
Are you kidding me?!
Today was a disaster!
Well...
but, then... I'm screwed.
You're gonna hate me forever.
Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've been
working your ass off all day
to make things right.
It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dad
- is being a guilty dad.
- Yeah.
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
- No!!
- That's just a character flaw!
Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.
Is... that the true meaning
of Father's Day?
Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.
Or better yet...
why don't you drive?
You know what, guys?
This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.
And Christmases.
Did you guys know
it was Christmas?
Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala
Season 13 Episode 01
"Roots?"
Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala
- Sir, what's with all the hubbub?
- Smith, why are you wearing
the same basic bitch tie
you wear every day?
Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.
What fashion show?
The one we have every year
after Father's Day.
This year's theme... "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,
all the way down
to the Langley Lake.
Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.
Here comes Duper
in what's sure to be the
dad look of summer...
a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!
But... But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.
This is impossible!
My family forgot to celebrate... me.
Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.
♪ Cream, I need it 'cause
you know that I'm a fiend ♪
♪ Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine ♪
♪ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ♪
♪ Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream ♪
♪ I need it 'cause you know
that I'm a fiend ♪
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- ♪♪ Gettin' freaky in my Bentley limousine ♪♪
♪ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ♪
- All right!
- ♪♪ Know what I mean? Peaches and cream ♪♪
One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offer
on the inside
as he does on the backside.
Yeah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
- ♪♪ Good... ♪♪
- ♪♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪♪ Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in years
but my relationship with my dry
cleaner has never been stronger.
Oh, my...
Home runs today, Roger!
Dad, did you hear Roger's story?
Yeah, it was... kind of funny.
O... kay.
So, um, how was work?
Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hate
died in that botched mission?
No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.
Dad, what's going on?
- You forgot Father's Day!
- What?!
Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."
Do you know where that is?
It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymore
because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toilet
- and going up butts!
- Father, I've failed you!
- I'm so sorry!
- Oh, my God.
I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,
my whole weekend
just slipped away.
Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?
- I don't know.
- Come on! You name it.
We'll give you your perfect day.
Huh. I guess that could work.
Smith.
Well, that's unfortunate.
Thanks for calling.
This day is...
turning around!
The twins are dead!
♪ Rich and Mitch
were found in a ditch ♪
♪ Doo-da, doo-da ♪
♪ Sorry, Mrs. Jankovich,
your stupid sons are dead ♪
- Mm!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
until the next Father's Day...
and 22 seconds until I take the pills
that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.
OCD, OCD, OCD.
Now here's an oldie but a groovy!
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
"For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."
"For my entertainment...
anything." Yes!
"For my present...
a homemade birdhouse.
Thinkin' about becoming a bird guy."
- Happy Father's Day!
- Birdhouse is coming along great.
'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,
and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.
Steve, you've made peace with
- never being with a woman, right?
- Uh, yeah.
Hey, Dad.
Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."
Well, I admire a good karate chop.
Find something there.
Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.
Mwah!
Leave it.
It's your day.
A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.
You can see everything
from the stove.
Not bad, son.
I'd say this house is...
for the birds.
We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.
Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.
But you don't seem
to know that I want it
from Boston Market.
Still, looks great.
♪ You're the corduroy of dads ♪
♪ The best one I've ever had ♪
♪ I wrote this song for you, Daddy ♪
♪ I wrote this song
for you-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Ye-a-a-a-h ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Good job, honey! Kind of
reminds me of early Dylan...
like, really early,
before he learned
how to play the guitar.
But I loved it.
What a great day, Stan.
For you, not me.
That guy on the bus
got in my face again,
- and I just finally lost it...
- Yeah, it was a nice day.
Guess the family proved
they really do care.
Are you... kidding me?!
They forgot Father's Day!
And they covered for it
with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?
"Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.
Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."
Roger! Why do you
always have to be
the little devil
on people's shoulder?
W-W-Whoa.
Hang on, Klaus.
Roger may have a point.
Stan?
Well, I... guess
it could have been better.
Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.
'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
until the next Father's Day...
and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...
"For my present...
a homemade birdhouse.
Please... not open-concept."
Happy Father's Day!
Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig down
for your luau dinner.
So "hula" at your girl!
- Leave it. It's...
- It's my day.
Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?
Because I erased their memories
so they could relive
the previous day,
giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.
You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?!
Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?
Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.
So, the family has no idea
they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?
Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.
Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped... Whipped clea...
Why... Why can't I say this?
I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.
I feel like we're building
to the point
where you tell us
how you did this.
- Are we?
- We are.
The C.I.A. was having...
Wait, wait.
Stan, how long is this story?
'Cause I just want to know...
do I sit, do I stand?
Medium-long?
Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.
The C.I.A. was...
No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.
You seemed real unsure
about your answer.
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
The C.I.A. was having
a yard sale.
Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.
The C.I.A. had to have
a yard sale
for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale...
to make an ass-load of money.
"Got my dream part
in the school play."
Signed, "The sweetest boy in Oz."
This is not how I want
to remember my son.
You don't have to.
Just use this.
It's a memory neutralizer.
Flashes a light that wipes
the last 24 hours
from your memory.
I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."
That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.
So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,
I decided to use it on the family.
- Wait. What happened to Roger?
- He went on a vape run, bro.
The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.
But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.
What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.
This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,
and they haven't quite made up.
But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.
Almost done with the birdhouse.
Hey, the skylight you wanted...
it can be just painted on, right?
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
♪ There's nothing that I wanna do ♪
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya two days...
♪ More than get alone
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya two days...
♪ and be alone with you
♪ Trouble with dreams
is they don't come true ♪
♪ And when they do,
they could catch up to you ♪
Good morning!
♪ You don't need a thing
from me, but I ♪
♪ I need something big from you ♪
♪ 'Cause you know I've got ♪
- ♪♪ An awful lot of big dreams ♪♪
- Good morning!
♪ I'm walkin' down a lonely road ♪
♪ Clear to me now, but I
was never told ♪Good Morning
OCD, OCD, OCD. Now...
♪ Trouble with dreams
is you never know ♪
♪ When to hold on
and when to let go ♪
- ♪♪ If you let me down, it's all right ♪♪
- here's an oldie but groovy.
- ♪♪ At least that leaves something for
me ♪♪ - ... but groovy...
Snot: Steve!
Where have you been?
You've missed five weeks of school!
I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith, but I'm gonna...
- Why am I...
- Once more.
Again.
And two more for good luck.
And one for your mother.
- We need to talk, bro.
- Not now, Klaus.
I have to top off the Pert Plus
and reset all the radio recordings
so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.
- Dude, you've lost it.
- Tomorrow.
I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.
It is my privilege
to welcome our nominee
for president of the United States...
Senator Vincent Thacker!
Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,
Senator Bill Sturges, we can
get this country back on track.
Just got off the phone
with The Post.
Tomorrow,
they're running an exposé.
Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?
Are you hearing me?!
It's over!
What... What is that?
Mine!
Oh!
Now it's mine.
What is it, my child?
It has returned.
To destroy it,
we must return it to its source.
Shh!
Come with me.
There's no time.
Damn, Steve! You wake up
camera-ready, lucky dog.
Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.
No time for what?
And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!
Me?
Forget about it!
No phone calls before noon.
Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.
Damn!
And no morning breath?
Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?
Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!
Where'd all this come from?
Check the artist's signature.
"Steve Smith"?
I don't remember making this.
But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S's
to make them look like
scary snakes.
Here it is again!
Every night,
your dad resets your memory,
so every morning,
you wake up thinking
it's Father's Day again... and again!
Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.
It riveted the nation for months!
In the end, it turned out to be
just a goat in a Starter jacket.
Dad's not gonna get away
with this.
Yeah! Dad's lost it.
Klaus, he's not your dad.
Well, well, well.
- Dad!
- No.
Looks like you got it all figured out.
W-W-Why are you
doing this to us?
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?
Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,
no matter how many chances
I give you!
Chances? What are you
talking about?
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...
Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's Day
every day for six months!
You brainwashed us?!
Oh, of course!
Make it about you!
Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,
I'll get everything out
of my system so I can
wake up tomorrow without
being so cheesed off!
Go ahead, Steve...
cry!
It'd be weirder if you didn't!
Go ahead, Hayley... gasp.
- It'd be weirder if you didn't!
- Stan, enough!
Since when is anything
enough for you?
For the last 20 years,
you just sit around
and wait for me
to bring home money.
"I need rugs.
I need bananas."
Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.
Oh, I haven't even started.
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
♪ I'm the Scatman ♪
You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,
because this never happened.
Starting... now.
Now!
Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!
Aw, Stan.
When I was grabbing a snack
last night,
I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counter
'cause it wasn't on my... radar.
I...
Uh, uh...
And I wasn't really
getting a snack.
That mission was purely
to be a rascal.
Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltines
and four packs of Gushers.
Happy Father's Day.
Hey, guys.
Uh, I know you didn't think
my jokes earlier were very funny.
Jokes?! What you said
was unforgivable!
You can't dissect comedy!
Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,
so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.
Just pretend SpongeBob is me.
And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,
he's sorry
he insulted his family.
You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.
Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.
But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.
You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.
We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use it
to make you forget
all the things I said...
and the so-called "gun incident."
There's another memory eraser?!
That might be the only way
we can be a family again.
I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.
We all want to forget.
Roger: Ow!
Bad news... We sold
the other memory neutralizer.
No!
Wait.
What's in the box, then?
Lil' Angelo!
Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.
Gretchen the Guinea Pig ran
a tight race, but I think
we're still a ways off from
electing a female mascot.
Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?
Yeah. Got the receipt right here.
- Some C.I.A. collector in Ohio.
- Ohio?!
B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those things
- to get there!
- Yeah, If we don't make it by morning,
we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!
All the jokes.
Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.
Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forget
doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.
And then forget.
Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?
- Yep.
- Driving's pretty cool.
You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?
- What?
- Yeah, you'll be driving soon.
Stan, leave him alone.
What? I'm doing something
nice... father/son.
Here, take the wheel.
Aah!
It's just like
one of your video games...
the ultimate video game.
You only have one life...
well, technically, four lives.
Whoop! Guardrail.
Please tell me you can fix this.
What makes you think
I can fix...
Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.
No, no, no, I'm not a mechanic.
I'm just a strange man.
Guys, we got one!
Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.
We don't know who this is
or what they're into.
The mouse can never resist
the cheese.
Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
- What?
What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?
- What do you mean?
- What's the most you've ever taken?
I've done seven.
Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!
Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.
Hey.
Eight.
Hey. Hey.
We're good.
The place we're going
is just right up here.
One more... right here.
27.
Let me just say thanks
to our friend.
He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.
Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happy
to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.
Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!
The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.
Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!
How do I know how to do this?!
Dad!
We only have four minutes!
I believe this is
what you came for.
Now let's talk about a fair price.
Okay, we only got 30 seconds.
I'll just zap you,
and we can forget
about the worst day of our lives.
You know, I... I meant
what I wrote on the cake.
"Bad dad... sad."
Aah! That's hot!
Steve, that was our last chance.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but we shouldn't forget this day.
Right! Because we made all these great
new memories today... as a family!
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
Are you kidding me?!
Today was a disaster!
Well...
but, then... I'm screwed.
You're gonna hate me forever.
Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've been
working your ass off all day
to make things right.
It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dad
- is being a guilty dad.
- Yeah.
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
- No!!
- That's just a character flaw!
Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.
Is... that the true meaning
of Father's Day?
Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.
Or better yet...
why don't you drive?
You know what, guys?
This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.
And Christmases.
Did you guys know
it was Christmas?
Precisely Synchronized by srjanapala