All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 3, Episode 13 - Run for the Border - full transcript

-[Mort chuckles]
-[growls]

-[Mort] I'm okay!
-[laughs]

[theme music playing]

♪ Party ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪



♪ Woof! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

Today the kingdoms of Madagascar
enter into a historic treaty!

By working together
and pooling our resources,

we ensure our mutual survival,
not to mention

the totally off the hizee
interspecies parties.

You know what I'm sayin'?

-He knows what I'm talkin' about.
-Uh-hm.

[clears throat] Now let's sign
and make it legit.

[screeches]

-[laughs]
-[cheering]



[ambient music playing]

Time for today's soul medicine.

I will not fear my extreme flow.
Every tree must start as a nut.

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Woohoo! [laughs]

-Whoa!
-[snickering]

Mind if I join you?

-[laughs]
-[screams]

[all cheer]

[screaming]

Oh, yeah, this is how you tramp it.
Trainin' like a beast to earn that body.

What is that smell?

[squeaking]

I'm in the dark here! I'm in the dark!

[mumbling]

[groans] What is this now!

[dramatic classical music playing]

-Pizza?
-No! Not pizza!

Turn down the music!

Not pizza?

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Sorry.

[growling]

Pizza?

Nope! Not doing this!

-Why do I have to tell him?
-Because you're his best friend,

and he's going to be upset, and, and--
Just do it!

-[grunts]
-Ow!

You have a problem, girl.

[snickering]

Yeah. I know.

Uh, Your Majesty, what are you doing?

Now that I have unified Madagascar,
I want to extend the good vibes.

Behold the booty-verse!

Your Majesty,

you can't rename the universe
after your butt.

Not a law. Now, I need to pick a name
for my home planet.

What do you think of, oh, I don't know...

Centaurious Kayjayikous?

Eh?

Eh, Quasar Tushy Jet?

Why are all the stars around that
one planet shaped like feet?

That's my planet. Footicus Majora.

Mort! I told you
to get your own solar system!

You will always be
the center of my universe, King Julien!

King Julien,
before you go renaming the universe,

you should know that there's been
a few hiccups with the treaty.

One of which resulted--

Stop! This treaty is very important.

Show me these hiccups!

This is how it starts.

First they take our stuff,
then it's our jobs.

But we don't work, Hector.

I've always looked at the kingdom
as species-neutral. Huh? Huh?

[blows raspberry]
Is this what you were so worried about?

Show me a lemur who doesn't fear change.

I mean, it's what we do, man.

King Julien, there's something else
Maurice needs to tell you.

That's right, Your Majesty. Your, uh...

Lemurs of Madagascar,
there is nothing to fear from our allies.

The crocodiles are protecting us
against the foosa.

The rats are doing
all the post party clean-up.

It's win-win! Okay, good talk.

What about the snakes?
The communal showers are full of them.

-Those snakes have no boundaries.
-[hissing]

Ah! Even my beverage!
Ah, great! It tastes like snake now!

The snakes have been keeping the monkeys
out of our mango trees.

What are you doing to protect our children
from the hawk problem?

Eh... What hawk problem?

-[screeching]
-Todd! Butterfish, help me!

Just tell him to go limp, baby.

Bird don't like a dead meal.
I gotta go to work.

And what about the geckos,
always talking... and talking...

Abner, I feel an idea brewin'.

Is that you?

I thought some of the dog food
I ate was leakin' out.

This treaty might just be our way
to take over the throne.

...and talking...

[Xixi] Comin' in hot!

Ow!

Xixi here reporting live where it appears

there is growing concern
the kingdom has been invaded.

-Eh! This can all be resolved.
-Whoa!

Nothing has been invaded!

We're the party kingdom, remember?

Everybody's welcome!
Boombox, let's show 'em how it's done.

[humming]

Boombox?

[Julien] Boombox?

-Check it.
-Uh...

That's what I was trying
to tell you before.

Lord Shark's flipper
knocked Horst's beverage

into Boombox and he...
[stammering] He...

Boombox drowned, Your Majesty.

[boombox malfunctioning]

[exclaims in despair] Boombox!

What has that trespassing fish
done to you!

That's our cue. Get out there!

-Boombox must be avenged!
-Huh?

Abner's right! This is about survival now!

We're all gonna die!

We gotta get all them outsiders
out of the kingdom and keep 'em out.

[loud burping]

-[burps]
-Ew.

There's only one way to do it.
We have to build a wall!

[all chanting] Wall! Wall! Wall!

Your Majesty, this is getting out of hand.
You have to do something.

Oh, I'm gonna do something.

For Boombox,
and our stuff that is under siege.

I'm gonna build a wall!

♪ Stuff, stuff, stuff
Stuff, stuff, stuff ♪

♪ Don't touch our stuff, stuff, stuff ♪

♪ We are lemur
Not crocodile ♪

♪ Nor gecko or snake
With their serpent smile ♪

♪ Lemurs mean just what they say ♪

♪ Don't touch our stuff and go away ♪

♪ Trampolines
We love the best ♪

♪ And water slides
Mangoes and chess ♪

♪ We take pride in the way we hide ♪

♪ We fear change and don't like strange ♪

♪ Stuff, stuff, stuff
Stuff, stuff, stuff ♪

♪ Don't touch our stuff, stuff, stuff ♪

♪ We're closed for business
Just go away ♪

Your Majesty, you have to stop this.

Tell that to Boombox.

How's it coming over there, Mort?

Can I stop soon, King Julien?
My arm joints are getting all grindy.

[sighs]

Nah. Cartilage grows back, man,
keep fanning.

Do we really want to
cut ourselves off like this?

I'm sorry, but did you not hear
what the peoples want?

They want our stuff!
I mean, the song was pretty clear!

King Julien, is this a bad time?

Get behind me, Your Majesty.
This may be a threat on your life.

Please, Clover,
Abner and Becca are here to help.

They've been a great comfort to me
since B-Day.

-Uh, that stands for Boom--
-Yeah. Boombox day.

[both] We got it.

Abner and Becca have tried to kill you
and take over the kingdom multiple times.

True. But B-Day made clear to us
how vulnerable the kingdom is.

[scoffs]
Vulnerable? In what way?

Have you even seen Todd?

That hawk ate his lower jaw!

We may never see
the sunrise of his smile again.

I just saw Todd this morning,
he looked fine.

Look, I can't check the validity
of every rumor I hear, okay!

Little busy!

Your Majesty,
we brought the plans for Phase two.

Phase two? What's Phase two?

[Julien] Okay, uh, awkward,

but apparently
we walled in some of our allies with us

-and forgot to build a door.
-My bad.

Catapult our allies
out of the kingdom? [chuckles]

[shouting] Are you out of your mind?

Oh, I'm very much "in" my mind, Clover,

and let me tell you something,
it's terrifying in there!

[grunts]

-[cat yowls]
-[grunts]

-[Maurice] Mort! We need you.
-Huh?

Ahem. You know Abner and Becca
cannot be trusted, right?

Mort, can you keep an eye on them
while we check out their hideout?

[groans]

Okay.

Ow.

-Hey, Mort.
-[exclaims] Oh! Hey!

Um, so word on the street--

[Mort screams] Ow!

Woo-doggy, that little fella got some air.

I think we're ready for Phase two.

[Becca] Pull!

Pull!

Really sorry things didn't work out.
Hope you enjoyed your stay.

-Pull!
-[crocodiles] Whoa!

Wonderful to see you again.

Pull!

[shouting and explodes]

Don't be a stranger.

Oh, actually, do. Do be a stranger.

Pull!

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm not seein' anything suspicious.

Maybe Abner and Becca really have changed.

This place is wrong.
Tail twitch never lies. Huh?

Ello-ello-ello, what's this?

Give a lolly to the vicar
because we've got jackpot, baby!

[reading] Revolution for Dummies
Easy Reader Edition.

How To Control A Kingdom
From Home In Your Spare Time.

Still think they've changed?

[both gasp]

You guys will be missed.

Okay, then.

-Pull!
-[shouting]

Ooh, Dr. S, I had no idea
you had so many snake babies.

Yes. And some of them are mine.

Pull!

[screams]

[sighs in relief]
Thank goodness that's over.

We still got one more.

-Who, I don't see any...
-[snickering]

Aw, you got to be kidding me!

That's right, King Dummy.
In a few seconds, this kingdom is ours.

[Clover] Don't be so sure, sonny.

Clover, Maurice! Finally.
I thought I'd have to save myself.

Get King Dummy in the basket.
I'll take care of the traitors!

Traitors?

Didn't we tell you?

We're gonna frame you both
for sending Julien over the wall.

Ow! Sorry. Intricate plotting
always makes me chatty.

[growls]

[grunting in pain]

[grunting]

[grunting]

Okay, well,
seems like this is wrapping up nicely,

so I'm just gonna--

-[shouting]
-Whoa.

[both grunt]

Now, Abner! Pull!

-[screams]
-[grunts]

-[groans]
-Huh?

[both screaming]

No! [grunts]

[groans]

[Maurice] King Julien?
King Julien, wake up!

Implants? I'll have you know, madam,
this booty is 100 percent King Julien.

Wha... Maurice? Where are we?

Prepare yourself. Outside the wall!

Hello! Kingdom!
Are you there? It's me, King Julien!

-Who goes there? Show yourself!
-[chuckles]

Hector, my literally old friend,
it's King Julien and Maurice.

Border's closed to outsiders.
Unless you have some ID, move along.

You know who we are.

Could be wearing disguises.
It's happened before.

-[distant growling]
-What-the-who-that!

It's them.
Those that lurk beyond the wall!

They want our stuff!

[rustling]

Get out of here
if you know what's good for you!

Maurice, hold this for me!

[Julien whimpering]

Why are you giving me your crown?
[gasps] Wait...

You think if they see the crown,
they'll kill me first?

No. [laughs nervously]

Yes.

You promised to sacrifice yourself for me!

I never made any such promise!

[both scream]

[screams] Hm.

[panting] Huh?

Oh, sorry, did I wake you?

I just wanted to give you a little spritz,

but... Oh, shoot if I always overdo it.

Ted, you have to let me out of here. Now!

But you're a vicious enemy of the state
and as Captain of the ringtail Guard...

-Captain of the... What! That's my job!
-I know!

I can't wait to make you proud of me!

[all murmuring]

Lemurs of Madagascar, this is a dark day.

Our beloved King is gone,
betrayed by the very lemur

who was supposed to protect him, Clover!

[all gasping]

But good news,
Abner and I have everything under control.

That's right, we're gonna
clean this kingdom of any more traitors!

How come you guys are in charge?

Why, Willie? Something to hide?

Eh... [stammering]

There was always something...

[sipping]

-squirrelly about you.
-[exclaims nervously]

Always hoping we're all gonna die!

I bet he's spying on us
for the outsiders right now, baby.

No time to be rational.
Throw him over the wall!

[Willie screaming]

[all] Yeah!

Yeah!

This might be easier than I thought.

If you are going to eat me,

you should know I am ravaged by disease.
Ravaged! [coughing]

Pustules! Mad Horse Disease.

Uh, King Julien,
I don't think they're here to eat us.

[screams]

[both] Hm...

Oh! Hey, you guys. [chuckles]

Uh, hope you're not still mad
about the catapult thing.

[laughs] We can laugh about it now. Right?

'Cause it was so long ago. Oh...

It was fifteen minutes ago.

Really? You know, time is relative.

What are you going to do to us?

-We're gonna build a maze.
-We are not building a maze!

Oh...

Stupid, stu--

The Overseer has plans for you.

The Overseer?

[both grunt]

[thumping]

[Mort giggling]

-[both] Mort?
-[Maurice grunts]

Hi, King Julien. Hi, Maurice.

You're the Overseer?

Yeah. What are you gonna do?
They saw something in me.

All hail the Overseer!

Thanks, guys. Take five, everybody.

So glad you showed up.
I don't want to lead a revolution.

The dues are outrageous.
Now King Julien can lead us!

Eh...

King Julien, isn't that what you want?
To get your kingdom back?

I'm not so sure anymore.

I allowed all this to happen.
Maybe I don't deserve my kingdom back.

I need some time alone.

Xixi, thank you for being here.

Oh, my pleasure.

When does the party start?

'Cause this house ain't bangin',
this house is empty, son!

[clears throat] Let's get started.

Are you now,
or have you ever been, a lemur?

With this beak?

[laughs] Okay!

Over the wall!

Say what? Spring break! [screams]

Maggie the Unwashed,
are you now or have you ever been a lemur?

Hm. Let me consult my attorney. [farts]

[grunting]

[growling]

Aw, gee, Clover, I'm sorry
you can't escape.

Do you need to make a tinkle?

Ted? Yoohoo!

Lunch time. I brought quiche.

Dorothy, please, you know I can't have
dairy when I'm in a confined space.

Oh, hi, Clover,
I didn't see you over there.

-Quiche?
-Ah.

Ah, sure.

-Dorothy, don't get too close to her.
-Gotcha!

-[whimpers]
-Ted! Do something!

You're not going to do anything
but let me out, are you, Ted?

Hmm.

-[Clover] Ted!
-Hold on, I'm thinking.

-Ted!
-Oh, flipper doodles, fine.

[sighing]

[continues sighing]

[Piney] Okay, we get it, you're depressed.

That voice. Could it be...

Yes, Julien, it is I... Pineapple.

Piney! What happened?
You look like you've been in a fight.

It's nothing.

Got into trouble again
with some fruits I owe money to.

I'm working it out. Doing my steps.

But I'm not here for me.

I messed up, dude.
Fear got the best of me.

I lost my kingdom, Pineapple.

Nothing's lost that can't be found.

Yeah, really not in the mood for any
greeting card sentiments right now.

Fine. Your kingdom's where you left it.

The only thing lost... is you.

Hmm.

Once we're over the wall,
go for the males first.

The children we can sell, and the women...

[evil laugh]

Oh, the women...

[evil laugh]

...we will always treat with respect.

[Julien] Stop!

King Julien, you came back.

Yes, as a piece of fruit with
a gambling problem once told me,

I was lost, but now I'm funky.

Actually, he said "found,"
but I thought that was a cliche

so I put a little KJ stink on it.

King Julien, I knew you'd return.

Here, take my hat for good luck.

[laughs] It's yours. Take it. Here!
It's... just put your fingers on it.

It feels good, it's wool.

-Stop, Mort, I don't need your hat!
-[Mort screams]

My fellow kingdoms, I owe you an apology.

Please, take a knee.
I invited you all to unite.

[grunts]

Yet I forgot the most important thing...

when you invite guests over,
no matter how different,

loud, or smelly, you have to share.

No one is better than anyone else...
except maybe the rats.

Everyone is kinda better than the rats.

No offense, King Joey.

I can't remember how to breathe.

I know it might be a lot to ask,

but if you would help me
get my kingdom back,

it would be my honor
to share my kingdom with you.

-Mm-hmm.
-Mm.

It's a simple question, Horst,
what are you drinking?

My beverage is private.
Do you have no decency!

[slurping]

You're out of order!

No, you're out of order!

I have no idea why I just said that.

[grunting]

-Clover!
-King Julien! Maurice! Mort!

Where have you been?
King without a kingdom down here!

[sighing loudly] Stay there.
I'll throw down some rope to pull you up.

Uh, don't think that's gonna work.

Understood, Your Majesty.
Just give me a few to figure out how to--

[Horst] Incoming!
Watch out for the beverage!

[both grunting in pain]

[Horst] And I spilled it.

Was that Clover? But how...

[growling]

Okay, before you all
start pointing fingers,

just know I never even wanted the job.

I mean, come on, me a prison guard?

Square peg party of one,
your hole is ready.

Hector!

[screaming]

[whimpering] My tenders!

[sighs]

[exclaims] It's King Julien and he's got
a whole army of outsiders with him!

[growling]

Well, we got an army of our own.

What's your plan, King Julien?

My plan is... duck!

Run away! Run away!

[growling]

[screaming]

We got 'em on the run! Keep 'er goin'!

-Pull!
-[shouting]

-Pull!
-[shouting]

-Pull!
-[shouting]

Todd! Butterfish, do something!

Stop.

They ain't listenin', baby.
What do we got for lunch, girl?

-Oh, boy! Here comes a big one!
-[all screaming]

[exclaiming in pain]

It's over, King Julien.

Unless you want another taste
of our righteous freedom!

Plenty more lemurs where those came from!

Uh, actually no, there isn't.

We still got Hector.

I may be old and cranky
but I'm not stupid!

-[Hector grunts]
-[snickers]

[whimpering]

Mo-Mo...

Way ahead of you, Your Majesty.

[clears throat] King Julien,
tear down this wall!

All right, peoples,
put your booties into it!

[all straining]

Whoa! Whoa!

[both] Evasive maneuvers!

We're home.

So... to the waterslide!

[Mort laughs]

Eh, what's wrong?
We're all sharing, remember.

No offense, King Julien,
but you lemurs are crazy.

And this place is a dump!

Come on, gang,
the baboons are hosting a pop-up kingdom

on the other side of the island.

All you can eat pot-stickers, baby!

[all cheering]

Uh...

Man, I hate diplomacy. Stupid diplomacy.

["Stuff, stuff, stuff" song playing]