All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 3, Episode 12 - Eye of the Clover - full transcript

-[Mort chuckles]
-[growls]

-[Mort] I'm okay.
-[laughs]

[theme song playing]

♪ Party ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪



♪ Woof! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

-[funky music playing]
-That's it, Mo-Mo. Shake that money-maker.

Oh! Eh...

I call this the Corn Grinder.

-Ah! Grind that corn, Mo-Mo! Grind it.
-[panting]

[Julien] Oh, yeah!

-Grind that corn and grind...
-[thud]

Clover, join in! [laughs]

That corn's not gonna grind itself.

Sorry, Your Majesty.
Can't be "grinding any corn" on duty.



Come on. Get into it.
What could go wrong? [gasps]

-[screams]
-[grunts]

[humming]

[gasps] Ninja! [screams in fear]

-[whimpering]
-Get behind me, Your Majesty. I got this.

Hi-yah!

[both grunting]

Yeah! Ugh! Ha! Ha!

-[Clover] Ha! Uh! Ha!
-[grunting]

-Hi-yah!
-[groans]

[all gasp]

-[ninja grunts]
-[growls]

Hey!

Huh?

You are invited.

[exclaims excitedly]

-Ninja!
-[explosion]

Huh. Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!

Oh! [laughs]

[chuckling, screaming]

Aww, Clover's got a boyfriend.
Clover's got a boyfriend.

Clover's got an invitation to compete
in the Tournament of the... Doomed?

[mumbling] What... Who... What?

Ooh, the Tournament of the Doomed.
That is a fight to the death.

Been training for this my whole life!
[laughs maniacally]

Hmm.

Tournament of the Doomed.
It sounds so exciting!

So exotic.

Say it with me.

[drawling] Doomed. Do-do-doomed.

[laughing]

What do you get if you win?

Ultimate respect!

Uh... What's second place?

There is no second...

It's a death match,
you know, to the death?

[chuckles] Oh, Clover, that is...

[laughs hysterically]

Wait, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no...

You can't do that!

Of course I can, Your Majesty.

Been training for this... my whole life.
'Member?

-You can't go because it's law.
-[scribbling]

Here. I just made it a law!

[grunts] Clover cannot go to this

-stupid dumb death match thingie.
-Huh... uh...

-Ipso defuncto theretofore Mandelbrot,
-Huh...

-you're welcome.
-[growling]

[continues growling]

[pants, grunts]

[mumbling maniacally]

[screams, pants]

[grunts, panting]

[grunts]

I protect King Julien. That's what I do.

But this fight... uh...

A member of my family has been in every
Tournament of the Doomed.

Gah!

Every one!

[panting, sighs]

Grandma Rose. I wish you were here.

You'd know what to do.

[groans]

Listen up, Baby Brawler,
first and foremost,

you don't take no pony and trap
off a nobody, you hear?

Yes, ma'am, Grandma Rose.

And oi, Clover!

Really enjoyed this mix tape
you made me, sweetheart. [chuckles]

Fired me up for the next fight.
Back alley brawl.

You keep it, love. For me.

You, Crimson!

Don't be skulking. Come and practice
your neck breaks.

[whining]

Just like your needin' father.

-All skulkin' and frownin'!
-[chuckling]

Oi, you. Sit up straight!

Yes, Grandma Rose.

I do everything for King Julien,

but today is the day
I do something for me.

On it!

[Maurice] I'm just saying, Your Majesty.

-You went a little harsh on Clover.
-[funky music playing]

Know what's harsh? You!

How am I supposed to be able to grind corn
with all your talking, Maurice?

Come on, King Julien.

What's this really all about?
You can tell me.

I'm your Mo-Mo. Eh...

[moaning]

-[Mort gasps]
-Oh, it's this crazy

tournament to the death thingie.
I can't let Clover go.

-She might get hurt.
-Whoa!

-She... She can't go!
-[groans]

You know? This might be actually,
like, the first time

I've ever said no to Clover.
First time. Huh.

You say no to her all the time.

Uh, pretty sure I never have.

No, Clover! No! No!

Not a chance-ola!

Nope.

Nope-on-a-rope!

Nein!

[imitating robot] I am the Nobot.

I say no, no, no, no, no...

Pretty sure.

Look, Your Majesty, this crazy tournament
means a lot to Clover.

If she really wants to go to this thing,
you can't stop her.

And maybe you shouldn't.

Grammy always said,
"Set the butterfly free

and if it gets caught in the spider web,

there's gonna be a whole bunch
of spider babies come springtime."

[laughs maniacally]

Not helping, Mort.

Mo-Mo, I've decided that you're wrong.

If she really wants to go to this thing,
maybe I should just let her go.

[sighs]

[Mort laughing]

[clattering]

All right, Grandma Rose. We are ready.

[Grandma Rose] You're your own girl.

You stand up for yourself
[echoes] no matter what.

[grunts]

Good news, Clover. I've decided
to let you go to that tourna--

What?

That saucy minx has disobeyed me.

She has broken the law!
She will pay! [shouts] Pay!

We'll go to this crazy death match thingie
and drag her home by force.

[crowd cheering distantly]

[cheering]

[Grandma Rose, echoing] No matter what.

[cracks neck]

[laughs]

[gong sounding]

Uh...

A little higher, uh,
Just a little... [grunts]

Huh.

[chuckles] Oh, so exciting.

-I beg pardon, sir, but I have news.
-[rattling]

As requested, Clover is here.

[rattling, hissing]

Oh, of course. Right away.

Master of Ceremonies?

-Right here, your ambassador-ness.
-It's time!

Slacks and tassels! I am so ready!

Hi and welcome to this very special
bar mitzvah. Mazel tov, everyone.

Somebody's a man now. [laughs]

Ted, this isn't a bar mitzvah.
It's a fight to the death.

The Tournament of the Doomed.

Oh, golly. My darn agent
does not tell me a thing.

You need to be getting me
better auditions.

I don't know why I give you 40%.

I'm starting to think
you're just a giant banana.

Oh, welly-wellington, the show must go on.

Welcome ladies and laddies
to the Tournament of the Doomed!

[all cheering]

Give a big, warm hand for our hosts,
the Crocodiles.

-Oh, so nice. Oh, thank you, thank you.
-[crowd applauds]

And their patron and benefactor,

mysterious snake guy
behind the shoji screen.

-Give it up for him.
-[crowd applauds]

[rattling]

Everybody knows the rules.

If you hang your invitation on your post,
that means you're in.

Are you ready to commit?
Then hang those invites, people!

[chuckling]

[screeches]

[crowd cheering]

[growls, grunts]

[rattling]

-[growls]
-[thud]

[screams, laughs]

[exclaims] Your Majesty?

You've been a very naughty Clover...

-Clover!
-[Mort groans]

I don't feel so good. [grunts]

[groans]

Mr. Cow, can you show me the bathroom?

Oh, ja, ja, little man.

Don't know where the bathroom is.
But, I can send you to the hoshpital.

But I don't need to go to the hospital.

-Oh, you will. [laughs]
-Ow.

-[Mort groaning in pain]
-Clover, I'm going to be honest with you.

-[Mort continues groaning]
-Maurice is your friend

and he's super worried about you

and he'd feel sad if you got hurt.
I mean, just look at him.

Look at that face. [shouts] Look at it!

This is very important to me,
Your Majesty.

-And it's been a dream of mine
-[humming]

since I was a little lemur.

-I really want to get in there and...
-[Mort groaning]

-You know, like...
-[Mort] Ow! Aah!

-[giggles]
-[Mort squeals in pain]

[Julien] Clover?

[whispers] What is on her face?
I mean, what is it?

She's smiling, Your Majesty.

-[Wigman humming]
-[Mort crying]

All right, Clover. If it means
that much to you,

-I support you.
-[Clover exclaiming excitedly]

-You can join this tournament thingie.
-[squealing, laughing]

Thank you, Your Majesty. I'm in.

-[Wigman howling]
-[squeals] Yes, yes, yes, yes!

[Mort screaming, groans]

Thanks.

Mort, what happened?

[groans] I just needed to go tonky...
[whimpers]

Don't worry, Mort. I will avenge you.

Oi, you flankers.
Whichever one of yous hurt my Mort is

-gonna pay with your--
-[growling]

[gasps]

[growls]

Wigman Wildebeest.

[whimpering, babbling]

[gasps]

Uh... uh...

Clover?

[babbling unintelligibly]

Why is she doing that?
It's freakin' me out, man.

Masikura, tongue that crazy brain.

Find out what's going on in there.

I gots to know! I gots to know!

What is happening?

-[smack]
-[grunting]

We seem to be at a back alley brawl.

Duh. Obviously. But, why are we
holding hands, Masikura?

Your skin's all dry and scaly. Ugh.

-I'm a lizard.
-Yeah, that's not it.

[Grandma Rose grunting, groans]

[laughs]

-[groaning]
-[growls]

[screams, laughs maniacally]

Grandma Rose!

[laughs]

[Clover screaming]

[thud]

[Julien grunts, groans]

Are you kidding me?

That nasty looking cow-thingie
killed Clover's grandmother?

No wonder she's all...

[imitating Clover]

There's no way she can fight like that,
Your Majesty.

We'll just have to pull her out of this
contest thingie. Easy-peasy.

[babbling]

It's perfectly within the rules
for Clover to forfeit.

Great! Yeah!

And, when she forfeits,
she goes into the forfeiting pit.

[chuckles]

It's a bottomless pit of certain doom.

Oh, there go some forfeiters now.

[all groaning]

[screaming]

[coughs]

-Mm-hmm. [screams in fear]
-[screams in fear]

They didn't even say goodbye.

[Clover babbling unintelligibly]

I can't believe this is how
it's going to end.

We can't forfeit or she goes
into the bottomless pit. [exclaims]

And we can't fight because,
I mean, look at her.

-[groans]
-Uh-huh. [laughs]

-Nice one, Clover.
-Huh?

She can't hear you.
She's just mindlessly throwing punches.

She's broken. We broke her.

Don't you say that, Maurice.
Bite your tongue.

She's in there. I know it.

-Smack him again, Clo-Clo. Come on.
-[grunts]

[babbling]

No, stop it. Her mindless eyes
are giving me the heebie-jeebies.

[continues babbling]

-Stop!
-Not a chance, Mo-Mo,

because I feel a crazy thinks coming on.

Here it comes.

Oh, yeah!

Between my corn-grinding,
super-fresh booty action

and Clover's brain-dead punching,
we can do this!

I will save Clover's life.
Get me some rope.

Rope? What's the rope for, King Julien?

Mort? I thought you were dead.
Or dead-ish.

I'm part starfish. I heal fast.
I grew my own head back once.

-[whimpering] Oh, yeah.
-Okay, uh...

I need rope, Mort,
because our Clover is a twin.

[laughs]

Well, I... I...

I don't know.

She is a twin, sir. Everybody knows that.

And I am her other twin.

Our name is King Julien Clover Twinsies.

-See? We're conjoined.
-[babbles]

[laughs nervously]

We used to be attached
at the belly button, like all twins,

but it, uh...

shifted, you know, gravity,
too many birthdays, that old chestnut.

[laughs nervously] You...
You know what I... You know...

Ugh. All very irregular.
One second, please.

[whispers] What do you think, sir?

[rattling, hissing]

If you say so.

[clears throat] You may fight
as conjoined twins.

[sighs in relief]

[humming]

I don't like this.

Something's not right
with that mysterious patron.

[hissing, rattling]

-[Clover babbling]
-Ah! Ah!

[grunting]

She's too stiff.

Probably because she's in a coma. [groans]

[laughs]

Maurice got punched in the face. [groans]

Hurray!

I got punched in the face!

-[Mort giggling]
-[laughs]

-Check it. I so got this!
-Uh! Uh!

Uh, Your Majesty.
You and your twinsie are up next.

-[groans]
-[growls]

[laughs]

Ach, joy-boy, try to keep that one alive
long enough for me to destroy her,

-just like I did her grandmutter.
-[crowd cheering]

[grows loudly]

[laughs]

-[gong sounding]
-[rattling]

[snaps]

[babbling]

[exclaiming in panic]

Not good, not working.

Aah! And creepy.

Oi! Ow!

[groaning]

[shouts] Quit it! Forget this!

[screaming]

[whimpering]

-[exclaims]
-[scorpion screeches]

-[crowd cheers]
-Huh?

King Julien Clover Twinsies win!

Congtratula-- Hey!

We got lucky, but look at her.
She's useless.

Where is the... Clover!

I thought if I just poked her
with this stick,

I could make her punch people
and we could win.

I'll punch people for you, King Julien.

And you don't have to poke me
with a stick, unless you want to.

Ow!

Oh. Message for you, my king. [groans]

-[grunts in pain]
-"This mix tape might help." Huh.

Wonder what that means.
Oh, well, a mix tape is a mix tape.

Maurice, boombox me forthwith!

Let's crank these jock jams!

[uplifting instrumental music playing]

Oh!

That's what the note means.

-Those are moves and grooves I can use.
-Hiya!

♪ Feel the burning starting to rise ♪

Whoa! Whoa!

♪ Feel the worry deep in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the hope you cannot feel ♪

[groaning]

♪ Feel the dreams you know are real ♪

♪ Crashing down ♪

♪ Splashing down ♪

♪ It's just the tears ♪

[growls]

♪ Of the warrior ♪

♪ Smashing down ♪

♪ Flashing down like lightning ♪

♪ It's just the tears of the warrior ♪

♪ Cry those tears
Those tears of iron ♪

♪ 'Cause they ain't ever a-dryin' ♪

♪ It's the tears of the warrior ♪

♪ It's just the tears of the warrior ♪

♪ Warrior's tears! ♪

♪ Warrior's tears! ♪

♪ Warriors tears gonna drown you all! ♪

[shrieks] Wow!

It is my great honor to announce
the two final combatants,

King Julien Clover Twinsies.

-[crowd cheering]
-Thank you!

[imitating Clover's voice] Thank you!

And Wigman Wildebeest!

That's Vigman. The "W" sounds like a "V".

So, Vigman Vildebeest?

Nein! Vigman Wildebeest...

Uh, I'm so confused.
Is it a "V" or a "W"? Uh...

I believe it's both, sir.

Prepare for the final fight!

Eugene, light 'em up!

-[gong sounding]
-Oh! [screams]

[crowd cheers]

[roars]

[both whimpering]

[hissing]

Huh? Hmm.

Hmm... mmm...

Now, let's see who's really behind
this crazy tournament.

[gasps]

Uncle King Julien?

[laughs]

Oh, yes, it is! Cha-cha-cha!

It's all me. I fooled everyone
with my sexy snake dance

-and my talented use of the maracas.
-[maracas rattling]

King Julien, it's your-- [groans]

Speak up, Maurice. I don't know who
[imitates groaning sound] is.

Wait, is that my uncle?

That's right, nephew.

-[Maurice screams]
-This was all part of my plan.

Except I only wanted to destroy Clover.

She's been a constant thorn in my side
every time I try to take the throne back.

And now you've made this
a win-win for me, nephew.

I will eliminate you both.

No one will stand in my way.

Just as soon as this cage match
comes to a close.

-[growls]
-[crowd cheers loudly]

I don't know.

A cage match sounds so...

-so terribly violent.
-Are you joking with me?

What do you think a fight
to the death is all about?

You crocodiles are a bunch
of scaly crybabies.

Ha... How could you say
something like that?

Oh! I... I feel faint...

-[groans]
-Oh, sir, I've got you.

Vigman Wildebeest! Destroy them!

Umm.

Some days work is just work.

But, today, it is going to be
a real pleasure destroying you both!

Mort! Hit the music!

Sorry. Having a little
technical difficulty.

-[tape-recorder whirring]
-[exclaiming, screaming]

Not good. That tape was our only hope.

We are so dead.

Oh, ja, ja.

That is exactly what you are. [laughs]

[growls in anger]

[screams in fear, groans]

Who is the best? Who is the beast?

Vigman! Vigman!
[vocalizing] Vigman! [grunts]

-Hello, Clover.
-[gasps]

-I'm Pineapple.
-Uh?

I've brought you up here
because, quite frankly,

I've bet a lot of money on your fight.

Where's... What's happening?

There's someone here
I think you need to talk to.

Baby Brawler.

Grandma Rose?!

Now, there's a good girl.
Tell your Rosie what's what.

I... [sobbing]

When I saw that wildebeest,
it brought back all those memories.

All the pain of that day
when I lost you forever.

Pshaw. You never lost me.

I've always been right here,

-watching over you.
-Hmm.

Listen, love, no one lives forever.
We all gotta go sometime.

I got no regrets. I went out fighting!
I went out with me boots on.

-But, you don't wear boots.
-[chuckles] Oi! No back-sass.

Can we hurry this along?

There are two very ripe zucchinis
threatening to pulp me

if I lose this, uh... bet.

You will always be my Baby Brawler

and I will always be right here,
in your heart.

Now, you get back down there
and you stand up for yourself.

Get up, Clover!

[Grandma Rose] Get up, Clover.

Now, I finish this,
just like I finished her grandmutter.

[laughs maniacally]

[growls in anger]

-[Grandma Rose] Get up!
-[exclaims]

[groans]

[Clover] Oi!

-Wigman, I've got a message for you.
-That's Vigman!

That's part of the message.

It's from my Grandma Rose. [cracks neck]

Two words.
[shouts] Shut your bleedin' gob!

[counting in German]

-That's four words--
-Hi-ya!

-[groans]
-[grunts]

[both grunting]

[groaning]

-[smacking]
-Eh...

[groaning]

-Hi-yah!
-Aah!

[all gasp in disbelief]

[all cheering]

That was for you, Grandma Rose.

-Winner! King Julien Clover Twinsies!
-[gong sounds]

-Wait, what?
-Long story, Clo-Clo!

[laughs]

[grunting]

[screaming] Nein!

What kind of pickled pimento loaf is that?

That should have worked.
How does this keep happening to me?

I really need to get a better
mystical advisor.

Win some. Lose some. [farts]

Not sorry.

Okay, you oversized shoes.

Will you finish Clover off
for me at least?

No, never!

You called us crybabies. That was hurtful.
So very hurtful. I-- [stammers] I just...

All right, everyone, we're going home.

This whole tournament
was such a huge disappointment.

[sobbing]

Time for me to be skedaddling, too,
I'm thinking.

[groans] Oh! Whoa! Ugh!

Oh!

[screams] Oh, no!

I got all the pieces of my tail
out of the tape, mostly.

My old mix tape! Where'd you get this?

Hey, sis. Saw you had
the brain-lock thing.

And I just, you know, thought that
the tape might help or whatever.

Crimson, but why?

You and I, you know,
we have our problems. Um...

But, she was my grandmother, too.

I wanted you to win.

Wait up. You two have
the same grandmother?

Clover, did you know about this?

Yes, King Julien. She's my sister.

You did good, Clo-Clo. You did good.

-Had a little help.
-Huh?

Place your bets.

[growling]

I been waiting for this one
a long time, Wigman.

You're going down.

[screams]

♪ Feel the burning starting to rise ♪

♪ Feel the worry deep in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the hope you cannot feel ♪

♪ Feel the dreams you know are real ♪

♪ Crashing down ♪

♪ Splashing down ♪

♪ It's just the tears of the warrior ♪

♪ Smashing down ♪

♪ Flashing down like lightning ♪

♪ It's just the tears of the warrior ♪