All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 2, Episode 3 - Crimson and Clover - full transcript
King Julien discovers his true love, but the problem is it's his body guard's sister.
[theme song playing]
♪ Party ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Get down for the get down ♪
-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
Woof!
♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
[whooping and laughing]
Huh?
Clover, what are you--
[laughs]
Look at Maur--
[laughs]
Seriously, Clover, what is going on here?
[laughing]
-All right, that's enough!
-Ugh!
I never get to have any fun.
-What is going on here?
-[Julien] Huh?
Huh?
Eh?!
Aah!
[screaming]
Enough!
Your Majesty, I'm Clover,
which makes her...
[Julien gasps] Your clone!
My twin sister.
I knew something was off.
She was fun and playful,
and not all jumpy and angry
and dead inside and--
Okay! We get it!
This space is great.
You have this perfect stretch of floor.
Grease this bad boy up, boom!
You've got a spontaneous party!
-Woot-woot!
-Woot-woot is right.
Slippery floor thing is totally
blowing my mind-brain continuum.
What are you doing here?
Need me to bail you out of a jam?
I'm actually here to see my sister
who is too busy
to write or visit me.
How can I write or visit
when you don't have a permanent address?
You're supposed to be
this insane secret agent chick.
You could totally find me
if you wanted to.
King Julien, can we take this offline
for a moment?
I have no idea what that means,
so I will say yes.
My sister has to leave immediately.
Why am I getting the feeling
you two don't get along?
Quick follow-up. Why don't you
have a delicious accent like your sister?
-I have the same accent.
-You have an accent?
Your Majesty, Crimson is bad news.
She's careless, selfish.
Leaves a trail of destruction
everywhere she goes.
And then, when there's no more damage
to be done, she moves on.
Is this a bad time to say
I think we should break up?
It's not you, it's me.
[muffled cry]
Good talk.
Boring.
[screaming]
Oh!
-'Sup?
-Hm? Mm!
So you're saying she's single?
Argh! You have to promise
you won't let her stay!
Okay, fine. I promise.
[laughing]
Wow, they look happy.
[both humming happily]
[laughing] Oh! Oh!
King Julien! This is not safe!
You need to land that thing right now!
Sorry, Clover, I can't hear you
over all my laughter and screaming
and sense of child-like wonder!
[panting]
-[screaming]
-[crash]
-Are you ready?
-Light 'em up!
What is wrong with you two?
Stop it, right now!
[screams]
[both screaming and laughing]
Uh!
Oh, no. No, no, no!
Oh, yes!
Hey, watch-- Not the money maker!
[laughing]
Ah!
[all] Yeah!
[Xixi] Watch out, Brangelina.
There's a hot new "it" couple,
King Julien and Crimson.
Or "Cring Msulien" as those of us
in the media have started calling them.
Oh! Look at 'em go!
Uh! Argh!
[seagulls calling]
What do you think
of the Royal Navy?
Oh. It's gorgeous!
And... [sniffs] ...fragrant.
Yes. I wanted this night to be special.
So I had them put in a fresh urinal cake.
It's perfect.
I am the king...
of a medium-sized tribe of lemurs
on the island of Madagascar!
Oh, man, this view is amazing!
Why, thank you.
You're not even looking
at my best side--
Oh! You mean the stars! Yeah.
Sometimes I look out and realize
just how insignificant one lemur
is in the grand scheme of things.
Then I remember I'm the king
and if aliens ever invaded
they'd have to do what I tell them.
I have been having loads of fun with you.
Not many lemurs are as wild
and adventurous as you.
Yeah.
Everyone else I know has way too much
common sense to do the stuff we did today.
I've finally found someone who is crazier
and more ridiculous than me.
Aw! You're so sweet.
And I had no idea
you were a musician.
Uh, uh, uh! We prefer
the term "musical genius".
[tunes playing]
Of course,
I can't take all the credit.
I'm really just a vessel for the sky gods
to speak through.
[music continues]
No-- That's enough out of you!
[Mort] Ouch!
Rub some dirt on it, Willie!
Now, where were we?
[Mort] Ah!
-Hm?
-Hm?
Just pretend I'm not even here
and get to smooching.
[screaming]
-Here we go!
-Oh!
[humming happily]
Oh, yeah!
[Clover] Crimson, my old arch-nemesis.
I've been waiting for you.
[click]
Nice monocle.
I'll get right to it. It's been great
catching up with you
and I'm sure you had fun
endangering the king the past few days.
But it's time for you to leave.
Oh, Clo-Clo, we're sisters.
Can't we forget about the past
and how you're always jealous of me?
Oh, oh, I'm always jealous of you?
I graduated at the top
of my academy class. I work for the king.
And somehow I'm still
mum and dad's favorite. Super weird, huh?
What? No, that is utterly ridiculous!
[laughs awkwardly]
Why, did they say something?
Oh! Almost forgot.
Good news. K.J. invited me
to hang out as long as I want.
You're cool with that, right?
[glass shatters]
How much longer do you
plan to assault this innocent lumber?
I haven't been at it that long.
Ow!
Splinters.
Really? I understand
how you are feeling.
I did not get along
with my sister.
Mostly because when I was a baby,
she tried to eat me.
First off, yikes!
Second, what did you do?
We talked it out, settled our differences.
Then I ate her.
You ate her?
Law of the jungle.
Like, really ate her?
Yum.
Oh, that's-- No, stop, I--
Not a cannibal, okay?
Fine. You want my advice?
You said
your sister never stays in one place.
Perhaps the best thing
you can do right now
is to wait for her
to get bored and move on.
Oh... Well, okay, yeah.
That's actually good advice.
And if that doesn't work,
you can eat her.
Look at me! I'm a termite!
[chomping]
[all] Yeah!
[cheering]
Welcome back to my exclusive interview
with celebrity "it" couple, Cring Msulien.
So, I have to ask
because my viewers are dying to know.
What does the future hold
for Cring Msulien?
I don't know.
You have to ask my psychic lizard.
[laughter]
Guess I walked right into that one.
Isn't he the best?
[all] Aw.
They're just rubbing
everybody's faces in it.
They seem happy.
I don't get why you're upset.
The last thing the king needs
is someone encouraging him
to be less safe and responsible.
I don't disagree. But Masikura is right.
One of them will get
bored sooner or later.
I say we wait and see
if this runs its course.
I've never been one to make plans,
but I just know I'm crazy about this guy!
[growls seductively]
Yeah, baby!
Aw.
And this is how I feel about her.
[yodeling]
[growling]
Help! Somebody help me!
[screaming]
So, does this mean
we may soon be hearing
wedding bells a-ring-a-ding-a-dinging?
Uh... It would be a little crazy
to just, like, jump into it so soon...
is something a boring person would say!
Yeah, totally!
But lemurs like us live on the edge.
Are you saying
that you want to get married?
Are you saying you want to?
'Cause I'm an impulsive madman!
I'll do it right now!
Not if I do it first.
King Julien XIII,
let's get hitched.
[gasping]
You heard it here first, folks.
Bring on the wall-to-wall royal wedding
coverage and commemorative plate sets.
-All right! I love it!
-[cheering]
I love a wedding!
What was that?
I know, right?
My peoples were loving it out there!
Do you have any idea
what you're getting into?
Yeah. What's the big deal?
Lots of idiots get married all the time.
Ah!
I want to thank you all
for coming to our engagement party.
This wedding is gonna be pretty sick,
so it's a big honor...
for you.
Maurice, you're going to be my Best Lemur.
That means a lot, Your Majesty.
Don't get a big head about it.
Xixi, since Clover's being... weird,
you're the Maid of Honor.
-[excitedly] Oh!
-Masikura, you'll be getting us hitched.
[bored] Woo-hoo.
And last but certainly also least, Mort,
you're the flower girl.
I've got the perfect wig.
[giggling]
[Clover clears throat]
Don't look now, but the mean one's here.
Golly, K.J.,
we're late for our appointment
with the wedding planners.
Duty calls! Cring Msulien out.
[Crimson huffs]
Have you thought
of starting a family yet?
I have a ton of great
royal baby names.
Look at them. Carefree and laughing.
It makes you sick!
Are you sure you're not just...
please don't hurt me
for saying this,
jealous the king is about to marry
your twin sister?
Jealous?
Denial ain't just a river
I heard about once, apparently.
Just saying, you work closely with someone
and become friends, sometimes...
feelings develop.
Oh, yeah. Been there!
Don't flatter yourself, Maurice.
[laughing]
I might feel a bit better
if I break into her bed chambers
and do a thorough search.
Make sure
everything's on the up and up.
Clover, you're sounding a little crazy.
Crazy? I sound crazy?
[laughing maniacally]
You haven't seen crazy yet!
I'm actually kind of seeing it right now.
All right!
We are just pleased as punch
to be planning the big royal wedding.
How are we coming on
the ice sculptures?
Tell me you've got good news.
This wedding has to be perfect!
Well, darn it all if they don't keep
melting in this sticky jungle heat.
Aw, I really wanted
those icy sculptie-wulpties.
Ted! Dorothy! Get it together.
This is supposed to be
my ultimate dream wedding.
If it falls short
of my unrealistic expectations,
I'm gonna throw a fit!
[shouts] I'm falling!
Huh?
Ooh, I'm loving these flowers.
The pink really matches the royal eyes.
Are those rosy periwinkles?
Well, yeah. Are you allergic?
Yes. To how awful they look.
Yeah, I hate 'em now, too!
Get them out of my face!
I love what you guys have done here.
Oh, it's exactly what I asked for.
But maybe if you could just change
everything, it would be even better.
You heard the lady. Stop wiping
your heinies on my dream wedding!
Hm! Hm!
What is this? Teak?
Oh. Whoopsie-doodle.
I'll pick that up, Your Majesty.
Don't you dare pick that up, Ted!
That chair is exactly where it belongs.
In the dirt!
Oh, Julien.
I've never seen this side of you.
[growls softly]
Hope I didn't scare you.
Being around all these flower
arrangements and fabric swatches
really brings out
the alpha male in me.
Oh, baby Ju-Ju, I just cannot wait
to be married to you forever.
For... ever?
[gate clangs]
You are hereby sentenced
to marriage! Without parole.
Dead man walking!
Forever... Forever... Forever...
Wow.
Forever. It's a goodly amount of time.
[chuckles nervously]
Is it always forever?
Is that, like, a rule?
Mm-hmm.
Can't we just flip on the lights?
You know nothing
about clandestine investigations, Maurice.
Yeah!
I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.
[gasps]
I never imagined she'd intentionally harm
King Julien, but this looks bad.
Oh!
Maybe she just likes to whittle.
[gasps]
Poison?
Okay, that might be something.
"I can't wait to marry King Julien
so I can kill him!"
Whoa!
Maybe she is trying to hurt King Julien.
Who's trying to hurt me?
Your Majesty,
although it pains me to say this--
Not really, but whatever.
--my sister means to harm you.
Ooh!
I can explain all of those.
Clearly, this knife is meant
for slashing and slicing...
our wedding cake.
[excitedly] Oh!
Yeah, it's for the cake
at the wedding.
I'm totally not having second thoughts
about at all.
[laughs awkwardly]
And this. You probably think
it's poison, am I right?
Mostly because it literally says "poison"
on the bottle.
Yes, poison...
for him.
It's the hottest cologne on the mainland.
Made by extracting milk
from a rare eagle.
[sniffs] Oh, I didn't know
you could milk an eagle.
Yeah. Most eagles would like
to keep it that way.
Your confession. Right here in writing.
"Can't wait to marry King Julien
so I can kill him!"
That's not normal, right? I'm asking
because I know nothing about marriage.
Your Majesty,
if you're having cold feet--
Turn it over.
"...with kindness
and smother him with love
because he is my Schmoopy Bear."
Okay, that's actually sort of sweet.
But it doesn't prove anything!
You cannot marry her, King Julien.
-I know, right?
-[gasps]
I mean, don't tell me
what to do, Clover!
I'm trying to save you, Your Majesty,
from making a horrible mistake.
I can get married to who I want
and when I want
and to as many lemurs as I want!
Actually, you can only marry
one lemur.
Holy cow! I seriously don't know anything
about marriage, you guys.
All the more proof
that I am right
and this wedding
is an incredibly stupid idea!
I cannot support it.
Oh, oh! Now you done did it!
You are officially uninvited
from the hottest wedding of the season!
[growls softly]
[Xixi] A royal wedding.
An event that comes but once
every five to seven months,
depending on food supply
and predator mating habits.
I'm Xixi, and I'll be here with you
for every bow, every vow, and every...
couldn't-come-up-with-
a-third-word-that-rhymes.
I'm sorry Clover couldn't make it.
Yeah, but I feel her presence.
Probably because she's still required
to be here for security purposes.
I'm not pointing fingers
and I'm not mad,
but why didn't you tell me
marriage was forever
before you talked me into getting married?
I didn't talk you into getting married.
It was your idea!
Maurice, when you point
the one finger, there are like...
three other fingers
pointing back at you,
which proves this is all your fault!
Times three!
[Mort humming]
♪ La la la la la ♪
[sobbing]
Look at what a mess I am.
I always cry at weddings.
And honeymoons. Remember that?
Your Majesty, it is time.
Maurice! That's the cue
for your big musical moment.
Will you do the honors?
Ah-ha!
[clearing throat]
♪ Me me me me me ♪
[upbeat music playing]
[all chatter]
[growls seductively]
-Oh!
-Oh!
-Yeah!
-Oh!
Oh!
Mm-mm-mm-mm!
-Mm-mm.
-[music stops]
I wish to welcome you all.
Friends, families, foosa decoys...
as we join King Julien XIII
and Crimson together
in a partnership
that will last forever.
[whimpers]
Ow! There's that word again.
Listen, Masikura,
when you say, "Forever"--
The two of you will sacrifice
your individual wants and needs
and become one.
You will share everything,
shedding your own identity to the point
of becoming almost unrecognizable.
[screaming]
[giggling]
[Julien and Mort screaming]
Julien?
[screams]
What?
I'm cool.
Let the sacred lemur marital ritual begin!
[cheering]
Whoa, whoa!
Aren't you supposed to see
if anyone objects?
This is not part
of the traditional ceremony.
If anyone has any objection
to this marriage,
now's your chance to speak up!
What are you doing, Schmoopy Bear?
Anybody at all!
[indistinct muttering]
It doesn't even have to be a great reason.
With that out of the way,
let us--
I object, Your Honor!
What? Say what?
-[gasping]
-[groans]
Crimson, I'm crazy about you.
You're everything I ever wanted
in a lady lemur.
But I can't get married to you because...
I've been having an affair!
[gasping]
Oh, my gosh!
-With whom?
-With my kingdom.
What? I don't understand.
That's right, everybody.
I love you guys!
So, you know,
thanks for ruining my wedding.
It's so sweet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
You're just choosing
to tell me this now?
Yeah, the timing is a little...
not good, I agree.
We're cool though, right?
[wailing]
You're better at reading people
than me. Does she seem upset?
Mm-hmm.
Crimson! Where are you going? Wait up!
[clears throat]
Folks, there's a nice cocktail hour
in the reception area.
Finger foods, drinks,
and the musical stylings
of D.J. Glitter-Bunz!
Yeah, it's me, D.J. Glitter-Bunz,
on the ones and twos, y'all.
I spin mostly house music
with a lit-lit-little progressive trance.
And I don't take requests,
so don't even try it. What, what!
I guess you're pretty mad at me.
Probably not as mad
as the kingdom's gonna be
when they realize I sunk all our resources
into a wedding.
You did what?
Oh, hey. Clover.
Uh...
Has anyone ever told you you look
a lot like your identical twin sister?
-Where is she?
-She's gone.
I was afraid of that.
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I'm a bit of a screw-up sometimes.
It's my fault, too. I shouldn't have
meddled with your relationship.
I let my sibling rivalry
get the best of me.
Are you sure that's all it was?
Hm?
Yes.
[gulps]
Okay, cool.
-I'll go find Crimson and bring her back.
-No need.
I'm a hard habit to kick, baby.
She'll be back.
She'll be back.
[Crimson] He stomped my heart.
Humiliated me.
But I'll get my revenge.
I'll have the last laugh.
[laughing maniacally]
I came to you because
after what King Julien did to me...
we share a common interest.
We both want King Julien dead.
Dead, exiled, whatever it takes
to get my butt back on that throne.
All right, you have a deal.
Pleasure to be in business with you.
[laughs maniacally]
Brilliant.
Crimson, with your "evil" British accent,
I won't have any trouble
telling you apart from your sister.
My sister has the same accent.
Stop the candy maker!
Clover has an accent?
[house music playing]
♪ Party ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Get down for the get down ♪
-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
Woof!
♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
[whooping and laughing]
Huh?
Clover, what are you--
[laughs]
Look at Maur--
[laughs]
Seriously, Clover, what is going on here?
[laughing]
-All right, that's enough!
-Ugh!
I never get to have any fun.
-What is going on here?
-[Julien] Huh?
Huh?
Eh?!
Aah!
[screaming]
Enough!
Your Majesty, I'm Clover,
which makes her...
[Julien gasps] Your clone!
My twin sister.
I knew something was off.
She was fun and playful,
and not all jumpy and angry
and dead inside and--
Okay! We get it!
This space is great.
You have this perfect stretch of floor.
Grease this bad boy up, boom!
You've got a spontaneous party!
-Woot-woot!
-Woot-woot is right.
Slippery floor thing is totally
blowing my mind-brain continuum.
What are you doing here?
Need me to bail you out of a jam?
I'm actually here to see my sister
who is too busy
to write or visit me.
How can I write or visit
when you don't have a permanent address?
You're supposed to be
this insane secret agent chick.
You could totally find me
if you wanted to.
King Julien, can we take this offline
for a moment?
I have no idea what that means,
so I will say yes.
My sister has to leave immediately.
Why am I getting the feeling
you two don't get along?
Quick follow-up. Why don't you
have a delicious accent like your sister?
-I have the same accent.
-You have an accent?
Your Majesty, Crimson is bad news.
She's careless, selfish.
Leaves a trail of destruction
everywhere she goes.
And then, when there's no more damage
to be done, she moves on.
Is this a bad time to say
I think we should break up?
It's not you, it's me.
[muffled cry]
Good talk.
Boring.
[screaming]
Oh!
-'Sup?
-Hm? Mm!
So you're saying she's single?
Argh! You have to promise
you won't let her stay!
Okay, fine. I promise.
[laughing]
Wow, they look happy.
[both humming happily]
[laughing] Oh! Oh!
King Julien! This is not safe!
You need to land that thing right now!
Sorry, Clover, I can't hear you
over all my laughter and screaming
and sense of child-like wonder!
[panting]
-[screaming]
-[crash]
-Are you ready?
-Light 'em up!
What is wrong with you two?
Stop it, right now!
[screams]
[both screaming and laughing]
Uh!
Oh, no. No, no, no!
Oh, yes!
Hey, watch-- Not the money maker!
[laughing]
Ah!
[all] Yeah!
[Xixi] Watch out, Brangelina.
There's a hot new "it" couple,
King Julien and Crimson.
Or "Cring Msulien" as those of us
in the media have started calling them.
Oh! Look at 'em go!
Uh! Argh!
[seagulls calling]
What do you think
of the Royal Navy?
Oh. It's gorgeous!
And... [sniffs] ...fragrant.
Yes. I wanted this night to be special.
So I had them put in a fresh urinal cake.
It's perfect.
I am the king...
of a medium-sized tribe of lemurs
on the island of Madagascar!
Oh, man, this view is amazing!
Why, thank you.
You're not even looking
at my best side--
Oh! You mean the stars! Yeah.
Sometimes I look out and realize
just how insignificant one lemur
is in the grand scheme of things.
Then I remember I'm the king
and if aliens ever invaded
they'd have to do what I tell them.
I have been having loads of fun with you.
Not many lemurs are as wild
and adventurous as you.
Yeah.
Everyone else I know has way too much
common sense to do the stuff we did today.
I've finally found someone who is crazier
and more ridiculous than me.
Aw! You're so sweet.
And I had no idea
you were a musician.
Uh, uh, uh! We prefer
the term "musical genius".
[tunes playing]
Of course,
I can't take all the credit.
I'm really just a vessel for the sky gods
to speak through.
[music continues]
No-- That's enough out of you!
[Mort] Ouch!
Rub some dirt on it, Willie!
Now, where were we?
[Mort] Ah!
-Hm?
-Hm?
Just pretend I'm not even here
and get to smooching.
[screaming]
-Here we go!
-Oh!
[humming happily]
Oh, yeah!
[Clover] Crimson, my old arch-nemesis.
I've been waiting for you.
[click]
Nice monocle.
I'll get right to it. It's been great
catching up with you
and I'm sure you had fun
endangering the king the past few days.
But it's time for you to leave.
Oh, Clo-Clo, we're sisters.
Can't we forget about the past
and how you're always jealous of me?
Oh, oh, I'm always jealous of you?
I graduated at the top
of my academy class. I work for the king.
And somehow I'm still
mum and dad's favorite. Super weird, huh?
What? No, that is utterly ridiculous!
[laughs awkwardly]
Why, did they say something?
Oh! Almost forgot.
Good news. K.J. invited me
to hang out as long as I want.
You're cool with that, right?
[glass shatters]
How much longer do you
plan to assault this innocent lumber?
I haven't been at it that long.
Ow!
Splinters.
Really? I understand
how you are feeling.
I did not get along
with my sister.
Mostly because when I was a baby,
she tried to eat me.
First off, yikes!
Second, what did you do?
We talked it out, settled our differences.
Then I ate her.
You ate her?
Law of the jungle.
Like, really ate her?
Yum.
Oh, that's-- No, stop, I--
Not a cannibal, okay?
Fine. You want my advice?
You said
your sister never stays in one place.
Perhaps the best thing
you can do right now
is to wait for her
to get bored and move on.
Oh... Well, okay, yeah.
That's actually good advice.
And if that doesn't work,
you can eat her.
Look at me! I'm a termite!
[chomping]
[all] Yeah!
[cheering]
Welcome back to my exclusive interview
with celebrity "it" couple, Cring Msulien.
So, I have to ask
because my viewers are dying to know.
What does the future hold
for Cring Msulien?
I don't know.
You have to ask my psychic lizard.
[laughter]
Guess I walked right into that one.
Isn't he the best?
[all] Aw.
They're just rubbing
everybody's faces in it.
They seem happy.
I don't get why you're upset.
The last thing the king needs
is someone encouraging him
to be less safe and responsible.
I don't disagree. But Masikura is right.
One of them will get
bored sooner or later.
I say we wait and see
if this runs its course.
I've never been one to make plans,
but I just know I'm crazy about this guy!
[growls seductively]
Yeah, baby!
Aw.
And this is how I feel about her.
[yodeling]
[growling]
Help! Somebody help me!
[screaming]
So, does this mean
we may soon be hearing
wedding bells a-ring-a-ding-a-dinging?
Uh... It would be a little crazy
to just, like, jump into it so soon...
is something a boring person would say!
Yeah, totally!
But lemurs like us live on the edge.
Are you saying
that you want to get married?
Are you saying you want to?
'Cause I'm an impulsive madman!
I'll do it right now!
Not if I do it first.
King Julien XIII,
let's get hitched.
[gasping]
You heard it here first, folks.
Bring on the wall-to-wall royal wedding
coverage and commemorative plate sets.
-All right! I love it!
-[cheering]
I love a wedding!
What was that?
I know, right?
My peoples were loving it out there!
Do you have any idea
what you're getting into?
Yeah. What's the big deal?
Lots of idiots get married all the time.
Ah!
I want to thank you all
for coming to our engagement party.
This wedding is gonna be pretty sick,
so it's a big honor...
for you.
Maurice, you're going to be my Best Lemur.
That means a lot, Your Majesty.
Don't get a big head about it.
Xixi, since Clover's being... weird,
you're the Maid of Honor.
-[excitedly] Oh!
-Masikura, you'll be getting us hitched.
[bored] Woo-hoo.
And last but certainly also least, Mort,
you're the flower girl.
I've got the perfect wig.
[giggling]
[Clover clears throat]
Don't look now, but the mean one's here.
Golly, K.J.,
we're late for our appointment
with the wedding planners.
Duty calls! Cring Msulien out.
[Crimson huffs]
Have you thought
of starting a family yet?
I have a ton of great
royal baby names.
Look at them. Carefree and laughing.
It makes you sick!
Are you sure you're not just...
please don't hurt me
for saying this,
jealous the king is about to marry
your twin sister?
Jealous?
Denial ain't just a river
I heard about once, apparently.
Just saying, you work closely with someone
and become friends, sometimes...
feelings develop.
Oh, yeah. Been there!
Don't flatter yourself, Maurice.
[laughing]
I might feel a bit better
if I break into her bed chambers
and do a thorough search.
Make sure
everything's on the up and up.
Clover, you're sounding a little crazy.
Crazy? I sound crazy?
[laughing maniacally]
You haven't seen crazy yet!
I'm actually kind of seeing it right now.
All right!
We are just pleased as punch
to be planning the big royal wedding.
How are we coming on
the ice sculptures?
Tell me you've got good news.
This wedding has to be perfect!
Well, darn it all if they don't keep
melting in this sticky jungle heat.
Aw, I really wanted
those icy sculptie-wulpties.
Ted! Dorothy! Get it together.
This is supposed to be
my ultimate dream wedding.
If it falls short
of my unrealistic expectations,
I'm gonna throw a fit!
[shouts] I'm falling!
Huh?
Ooh, I'm loving these flowers.
The pink really matches the royal eyes.
Are those rosy periwinkles?
Well, yeah. Are you allergic?
Yes. To how awful they look.
Yeah, I hate 'em now, too!
Get them out of my face!
I love what you guys have done here.
Oh, it's exactly what I asked for.
But maybe if you could just change
everything, it would be even better.
You heard the lady. Stop wiping
your heinies on my dream wedding!
Hm! Hm!
What is this? Teak?
Oh. Whoopsie-doodle.
I'll pick that up, Your Majesty.
Don't you dare pick that up, Ted!
That chair is exactly where it belongs.
In the dirt!
Oh, Julien.
I've never seen this side of you.
[growls softly]
Hope I didn't scare you.
Being around all these flower
arrangements and fabric swatches
really brings out
the alpha male in me.
Oh, baby Ju-Ju, I just cannot wait
to be married to you forever.
For... ever?
[gate clangs]
You are hereby sentenced
to marriage! Without parole.
Dead man walking!
Forever... Forever... Forever...
Wow.
Forever. It's a goodly amount of time.
[chuckles nervously]
Is it always forever?
Is that, like, a rule?
Mm-hmm.
Can't we just flip on the lights?
You know nothing
about clandestine investigations, Maurice.
Yeah!
I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.
[gasps]
I never imagined she'd intentionally harm
King Julien, but this looks bad.
Oh!
Maybe she just likes to whittle.
[gasps]
Poison?
Okay, that might be something.
"I can't wait to marry King Julien
so I can kill him!"
Whoa!
Maybe she is trying to hurt King Julien.
Who's trying to hurt me?
Your Majesty,
although it pains me to say this--
Not really, but whatever.
--my sister means to harm you.
Ooh!
I can explain all of those.
Clearly, this knife is meant
for slashing and slicing...
our wedding cake.
[excitedly] Oh!
Yeah, it's for the cake
at the wedding.
I'm totally not having second thoughts
about at all.
[laughs awkwardly]
And this. You probably think
it's poison, am I right?
Mostly because it literally says "poison"
on the bottle.
Yes, poison...
for him.
It's the hottest cologne on the mainland.
Made by extracting milk
from a rare eagle.
[sniffs] Oh, I didn't know
you could milk an eagle.
Yeah. Most eagles would like
to keep it that way.
Your confession. Right here in writing.
"Can't wait to marry King Julien
so I can kill him!"
That's not normal, right? I'm asking
because I know nothing about marriage.
Your Majesty,
if you're having cold feet--
Turn it over.
"...with kindness
and smother him with love
because he is my Schmoopy Bear."
Okay, that's actually sort of sweet.
But it doesn't prove anything!
You cannot marry her, King Julien.
-I know, right?
-[gasps]
I mean, don't tell me
what to do, Clover!
I'm trying to save you, Your Majesty,
from making a horrible mistake.
I can get married to who I want
and when I want
and to as many lemurs as I want!
Actually, you can only marry
one lemur.
Holy cow! I seriously don't know anything
about marriage, you guys.
All the more proof
that I am right
and this wedding
is an incredibly stupid idea!
I cannot support it.
Oh, oh! Now you done did it!
You are officially uninvited
from the hottest wedding of the season!
[growls softly]
[Xixi] A royal wedding.
An event that comes but once
every five to seven months,
depending on food supply
and predator mating habits.
I'm Xixi, and I'll be here with you
for every bow, every vow, and every...
couldn't-come-up-with-
a-third-word-that-rhymes.
I'm sorry Clover couldn't make it.
Yeah, but I feel her presence.
Probably because she's still required
to be here for security purposes.
I'm not pointing fingers
and I'm not mad,
but why didn't you tell me
marriage was forever
before you talked me into getting married?
I didn't talk you into getting married.
It was your idea!
Maurice, when you point
the one finger, there are like...
three other fingers
pointing back at you,
which proves this is all your fault!
Times three!
[Mort humming]
♪ La la la la la ♪
[sobbing]
Look at what a mess I am.
I always cry at weddings.
And honeymoons. Remember that?
Your Majesty, it is time.
Maurice! That's the cue
for your big musical moment.
Will you do the honors?
Ah-ha!
[clearing throat]
♪ Me me me me me ♪
[upbeat music playing]
[all chatter]
[growls seductively]
-Oh!
-Oh!
-Yeah!
-Oh!
Oh!
Mm-mm-mm-mm!
-Mm-mm.
-[music stops]
I wish to welcome you all.
Friends, families, foosa decoys...
as we join King Julien XIII
and Crimson together
in a partnership
that will last forever.
[whimpers]
Ow! There's that word again.
Listen, Masikura,
when you say, "Forever"--
The two of you will sacrifice
your individual wants and needs
and become one.
You will share everything,
shedding your own identity to the point
of becoming almost unrecognizable.
[screaming]
[giggling]
[Julien and Mort screaming]
Julien?
[screams]
What?
I'm cool.
Let the sacred lemur marital ritual begin!
[cheering]
Whoa, whoa!
Aren't you supposed to see
if anyone objects?
This is not part
of the traditional ceremony.
If anyone has any objection
to this marriage,
now's your chance to speak up!
What are you doing, Schmoopy Bear?
Anybody at all!
[indistinct muttering]
It doesn't even have to be a great reason.
With that out of the way,
let us--
I object, Your Honor!
What? Say what?
-[gasping]
-[groans]
Crimson, I'm crazy about you.
You're everything I ever wanted
in a lady lemur.
But I can't get married to you because...
I've been having an affair!
[gasping]
Oh, my gosh!
-With whom?
-With my kingdom.
What? I don't understand.
That's right, everybody.
I love you guys!
So, you know,
thanks for ruining my wedding.
It's so sweet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
You're just choosing
to tell me this now?
Yeah, the timing is a little...
not good, I agree.
We're cool though, right?
[wailing]
You're better at reading people
than me. Does she seem upset?
Mm-hmm.
Crimson! Where are you going? Wait up!
[clears throat]
Folks, there's a nice cocktail hour
in the reception area.
Finger foods, drinks,
and the musical stylings
of D.J. Glitter-Bunz!
Yeah, it's me, D.J. Glitter-Bunz,
on the ones and twos, y'all.
I spin mostly house music
with a lit-lit-little progressive trance.
And I don't take requests,
so don't even try it. What, what!
I guess you're pretty mad at me.
Probably not as mad
as the kingdom's gonna be
when they realize I sunk all our resources
into a wedding.
You did what?
Oh, hey. Clover.
Uh...
Has anyone ever told you you look
a lot like your identical twin sister?
-Where is she?
-She's gone.
I was afraid of that.
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I'm a bit of a screw-up sometimes.
It's my fault, too. I shouldn't have
meddled with your relationship.
I let my sibling rivalry
get the best of me.
Are you sure that's all it was?
Hm?
Yes.
[gulps]
Okay, cool.
-I'll go find Crimson and bring her back.
-No need.
I'm a hard habit to kick, baby.
She'll be back.
She'll be back.
[Crimson] He stomped my heart.
Humiliated me.
But I'll get my revenge.
I'll have the last laugh.
[laughing maniacally]
I came to you because
after what King Julien did to me...
we share a common interest.
We both want King Julien dead.
Dead, exiled, whatever it takes
to get my butt back on that throne.
All right, you have a deal.
Pleasure to be in business with you.
[laughs maniacally]
Brilliant.
Crimson, with your "evil" British accent,
I won't have any trouble
telling you apart from your sister.
My sister has the same accent.
Stop the candy maker!
Clover has an accent?
[house music playing]