All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 2, Episode 4 - Pineapple of My Eye - full transcript

[chanting, upbeat music playing]

♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-party ♪

- ♪ Who's the king? ♪
- ♪ King Julien ♪

- ♪ Who's the king? ♪
- ♪ King Julien ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

- ♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
- ♪ King Julien ♪

- ♪ King who? ♪
- ♪ King Julien ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Woof ♪



♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien ♪

[Julien wailing]

Stop, no! For the love of all
that is good and decent, do not do this!

It's just a vacation.

Don't you understand
what will happen if you go?

You will have to make
decisions on your own

without the psychic guidance
of my tongue?

Yes! The horror, the horror!

King Julien, you have never had trouble
making decisions in the past.

Why the sudden panic?

Well...



Uh, King Julien,
why am I wearing cod pieces?

Foosa camouflage, Willie.

I have decided to make peace
with our enemies.

Foosa eat lemurs, not fish.

This disguise will give you enough time
to negotiate a treaty.

- Oh, okay-- Aah! Aah!
- [roars]

How's it going, Willie?
Making any new friends yet?

[belch]

King Julien, the kingdom looks amazing.
What happened to all the garbage?

Gone, Maurice.

I decided to have Mort gather up
all the kingdom's refuse

and toss it in that smelly mountain pit
on the other side of the island.

Smelly mountain?
You mean the volcano?!

- [rumbling]
- [Mort] Make a hole!

King Julien, Maurice just told me
you're giving me a new, uh... partner?!

That's correct, Clover.
To better protect our kingdom,

I have decided to have Timo design you
a new crime-fighting buddy.

Observe.

- [roars]
- Aah!

I'm calling it the Mega-gecko 2.0.

- [roars]
- Hyah!

[Clover yelling]

Ah, look at that,
you're getting along already.

Yes, those were bad decisions.

I know. It's like I lost
my decision-making mojo.

Which is why you cannot go!

[wailing] Please!

And while you're staying,
would you mind rubbing my belly?

- I am so tense.
- [groans]

Actually, I may have a solution
to both of our problems.

I should have told you this
earlier in your reign,

but there exists a, um...

vessel! Yes!

And it is filled with great wisdom.

A vessel? Like my party boat,
Old Porcelain Suds?

Yes-- No, not a toilet.

A vessel that contains
the souls and wisdom

of all the previous kings
who ever sat in that throne.

The wisdom of every king?

That's, like, uh...

12 brains!
That's a lot of brains!

And you are in luck.

For the vessel of which I speak
is kept in this very room,

right... over...

- there!
- Hmm?

Uh, a pineapple?

Do you not see the majestic crown?

Sense the succulent inner juices,
so reminiscent of your own.

Hmm. I am juicy.

With this vessel by your side,

you will have all you need
to make the right decisions

for yourself and the kingdom.

Wait a second.
How do I know you're not just saying this

so you can go on your vacation?

I, uh...

Kidding! Of course my kingly soul
will live on in a pineapple after I die.

It makes perfect sense.

Now to use the souls of my ancestors
to be the best king I can be.

[grunting]

Ha ha ha!

- No, it's my foosa ball!
- It's my foosa ball!

Allow me to use the wisdom
of my ancestors

to settle this dispute for you, children.

What's that, King Julien the Resolver?

Yes. I have a solution.

- Huh?
- There you go.

Now go to your huts
and atrophy like normal children.

- [children sobbing]
- You're welcome!

King Julien, the foosa have taken
my wife Dorothy!

What do I do?

Hold on. What's that,
King Julien the Player?

Mm-hmm. Word.

Okay, dead King Julien says,
"Lemur up, Ted,

and get back on the horse.
Lots of fish in the sea, you know?"

Lemurs, too,
during the warm season.

Mmm, mmm.

- Ted!
- Oh, Dorothy!

I thought you were eaten by the foosa.

No, I was just in the other room.
I'm alive.

Really? Okay, then.

Oh, hey.
King Julien, could you help me?

I can't decide if I should pull
one of these small rocks out.

Very interesting problem.

Let me consult King Julien
the Painfully Oblivious.

Go for it, baby!

Aah! Thanks for the advice,
Your Majesty!

[Julien]
You're welcome!

[Maurice]
Ohh, King Julien,

what is so important that you called us
here in the middle of the night?

Was there a sudden
and unexpected security breach

that requires my immediate attention?

Please, tell me there was a sudden
and unexpected security breach

that requires my immediate attention!

No! I called you here to inform you
of an important epiphany I had

earlier this very afternoon.

It isn't the one about
not pooping where you eat again, is it?

No, Maurice.
Though that was a very good one, too,

and really brought things
into focus for me

at a very difficult time in my life.

Say hello to my new kingly advisor.

I'm going back to bed.

Wait! You must not leave

until you swear
to protect the pineapple with your life,

just as you have sworn to protect me.

Maurice, I am a highly-trained
security professional,

and I am not guarding a piece of fruit.

[laughing]

[groans]
You know the king.

He'll get bored in a few days
and forget all about this.

Just go along with it for now
so we can go back to bed.

Uhh, fine. But to repay me,

you'd better finally approve my request
to carry a flamethrower.

Oy vey.

King Julien, it will be my... honor

to protect you and your... that.

I will go and get started
on a fruit-based security apparatus.

Or-- Or something. On it!

Excellent. Now, it is time for the people
to meet the pineapple

who will be deciding their fate.

For years, your beloved king
has searched high and low for wisdom,

for guidance in making
kingly decisions...

and, at times,
for where he left his crown.

Huh?

That's a joke.
My crown is on my head. Duh!

Ha ha ha ha! Uhh.

Maurice.

The king made a joke, people.
What do we do when we hear a joke?

[all screaming]

They'll get it eventually.
At least they stopped hurling bananas.

I-- I-- I stand corrected.

Anyways, I am proud to say

my days of searching are over.

Let's give it up
for my new kingly advisor...

Piney!

Feel free to "ooh" and "ahh".

They passed "ooh" and "ahh"
training, right?

"Oohs" and "ahhs", lemurs.
Let's sell it. This isn't a test.

[all] Ooh! Ahh!

Rejoice for me, for I have finally found
a worthy companion.

[gasps]
Companion?

You could even say we're soul mates!

Soul mates?!

[voice slowed down]
Soul mates!

Ohh, this is heaven!

Getting adored by Julien!
Oh-oh-oh, boy!

It's better than you could
ever imagine, Mort!

[growls]

Oh, and he smells terrific.
And I don't even have a nose.

That's how good he smells.

You think I don't know
how good he smells?

I've smelled him!
I smell him all the time!

[Piney] Uh-oh, they appear
to be clapping for me.

Oh, I'm blushing. Heh.
Bet they never do that for you, huh?

[growls]

[screaming]

Maybe this will teach you some manners,
stupid talking pineapple!

Maurice!

[lemurs cheering]

Heh heh. Julien loves you.
Stay positive.

Good thoughts, good thoughts.

Aaaaah!

Ha ha ha ha!
Everyone loves us together.

It's so amazing.
Oh, I never even liked pineapple before.

[kissing]

[door opens]

What's going on? Duck and cover!
Let my body be your shield.

Oh, King Julien. I'm sorry.

I was just setting up your new,
uh, security system.

You know, for... it.

Ah, is it a good one?

Oh, yeah, totally foolproof.

I can't imagine anyone
will be able to get past this.

Ooh. You don't think it's too good,
do you?

Hey, all that matters
is that you and your soul mate

are safe and sound, right?

Good point, Clo.

I don't know what I'd do
if something happened to him.

Uh, yeah, that's great.

Mm-hmm.

If I snore too much,
just roll me on my side. Deal?

[snoring]
Piney.

Mmm.

[snoring]
Mmm... Piney... mmm.

[moans]

[yawns]

Good morning, my sweet.

Did I feel someone trying
to spoon last--

Aaaah!

Aaaaah!

Help! Someone, please help me!

What's the situation?

[sobbing]
Piney is gone!

I-- I don't understand.

I really didn't think anyone
would actually try to kidnap a...

Piece of fruit?

This is on me.
Don't worry, I will make it right.

You have to find him.

King Julien, finding things is what I do.

I don't know who you are,
I don't know what you want.

What I do know is that I have
a very particular set of skills,

skills that make me a nightmare
for people like you.

Who are you talking to?!

No idea, Your Majesty.
Just sort of got in the-- in the groove.

You know? Don't worry.

You'll have your pineapple back
before you know it.

This is probably all just
a big misunderstanding,

and it's somewhere right now
completely safe and sound.

What are we going to do with you?

Not feeling so special now, are you?

[crashing]

I dusted your bed for evidence

and found nothing but two leaves
and a small puddle of pineapple juice.

[squeals] Pineapple juice?
My Piney has been injured!

Please! You must find him!

Someone could be blending him up
as we speak!

Don't worry.
I did find something by the door

on the back of my, uh...
theft-deterrent system.

Footprints. Whoever did this
must've stepped on it on the way out.

They're so tiny.
You don't think...

That's right.
We're clearly looking for... a baby!

And if I have to put the hurt
on every child lemur in this village

to get your pineapple back, so be it!

Good. Now, leave me.
I feel a serious whimpering coming on.

[sobbing]

Let's do this.

[siren wailing]

Uh, Clover?
Clover!

You having one of those fantasies

where you're a loose-cannon cop
who plays by her own rules?

No. Yes.

Stay out of my fantasies, Maurice!
I know what I'm doing.

You gonna put up some fliers
and hope you get lucky?

- Exactly.
- Ohh.

I was finally getting close to the king,
and you had to ruin everything!

What is your secret?

How did you make him love you?!

[Piney laughing]

Stop laughing! Answer me!

- [knocking]
- [gasps]

Oh.

Hello.

Mort, I'm here because we've identified
the feet of the pineapple perp.

[gasping]

[thinking]
She knows. Take her out now!

While you still have the chance!

No, I can't. Clover is my friend.

I say we bring this whole kingdom down,
take them all out!

Who's that?
I thought we were alone in here.

Uh, Mort, you okay?

Uh... I...

The feet, Mort. Hide the evidence!

I, um-- Oh, wow.
That's just-- That's awful.

I was just gonna ask you to hand out--
ahem-- some fliers, but--

No, how about I just-- I'll leave some
outside the door for you.

Oh. Oh, I see. Fliers.

Sure, I'd be happy to help.

Thanks, Mort, really appreciate it.

I know how much you care
about King Julien,

and his heart is really
broken right now.

It is?

Oh, yeah, big time.

Whatever we may all
think about that pineapple,

without it, King Julien is lost.

Ohh.

Julien, you have to eat.

Uhh. Food has lost
all its appeal, Maurice.

I'm so cold.

It's 100 degrees out.

Not in my soul.

Come on. Yummy, yummy.

Have a little bite. Just pick one.

Is this fruit?

You want me to eat a potential relative
of my dear Piney?

I'm sorry, Maurice, but when did you
become an insensitive devil?!

[sighs]

- [snap]
- Hmm?

- Where's Maurice?
- I haven't seen him.

[Maurice] Yes, he has.

So, you did install a security system
for the pineapple.

No, this was something I installed
when King Julien was on that crash diet

and wanted something to prevent him
from sneaking out for a midnight snack.

You can't expect me
to be an effective ruler

with cottage cheese thighs, can you?

- [grunts]
- Hmm?

Hmm. This panel
wasn't triggered last night

when the pineapple perp struck.

Maurice, bring me one of the fliers.

He walked across this panel
but didn't set it off.

It didn't take much for me to set it off.

Whoever this thief is,
he'd have to be pretty light.

And he'd have to know
how much losing the pineapple

would hurt King Julien.

Who do we know that has tiny feet,
doesn't weigh much

and would be jealous of King Julien's
affections for a piece of fruit?

This is going nowhere.

I need something sad and pathetic
to put my life into perspective.

Where's Mort?

[both]
Mort!

Oh, what have I done?
I never wanted to hurt King Julien.

I love King Julien.

[growls]
This is all your fault.

I should destroy you right now!

But I can't.

He has chosen you.

I am the one
who should be destroyed!

- [knock on door]
- Huh? Huh?

It's too late! They found me!

If Julien sees me with his pineapple,
he'll never forgive me.

[grunting]

[knocking continues]

Uhh! Ohh!

[Julien]
Piney! Are you all right?

What has that demented
jungle wart done to you?

Hyah! Looks like its crown is shedding.

There's more leading out the back.

Oh, what am I going to do?

Wait. Maybe I could return you
before they get back to the baobab tree.

Of course!
Why didn't I think of it before?

- Because you have no brain.
- [growls]

That's why Julien will always love me
and not you.

He loves my juicy brain.

Juicy, juicy, juicy! Ha ha ha ha!

My brain is plenty juicy!

And Julien will love it again
as soon as I--

Heh heh heh. Foosa hungry.

Foosa lunchtime!

Uh, ha ha.
Could you guys wait here?

I have to run a quick errand.

Trust me, these haunches
will be worth it.

[snarls]

- Whoa!
- [roaring]

Oh, my gosh!

Whee!

Whee!

[roaring]

[Mort shouting]

Hmm. It looks like he's
headed this way.

[Julien]
Can't we go any faster?

We could if I didn't have to carry you.

Oh, you love it.

Remember when we were young
and you'd give me pony rides?

That never happened.

I'd call you Pringle and feed you sugar.

You're thinking of a real pony,
King Julien.

No, I'm pretty sure it was you.

- [Mort shouting]
- That came from the mountain.

- Aah!
- I know a shortcut.

What are we waiting for? Faster, Pringle!

[grunting]

[panting]

[Julien]
Unhand that pineapple, Mort!

Just put it down and I'll order Clover
to make your punishment painless.

Nice and old-fashioned, no party favors.

- I don't know what that means.
- He doesn't either.

I'm so sorry, my king.

I swear I was about to return it,
but the foosa was on my tail.

- Did you say foosa?
- He's bluffing.

- [snarling]
- Or not.

We're caught between the foosa
and a really bad spot.

Those are active land mines down there,
Your Majesty.

[snarling]

[rumbling]

Do you hear that? It's the gods!
They're coming help me and Piney!

What about us?

Don't be greedy, Maurice.
There's only so much god to go around.

Give it to me, baby!

[whining]

Huh?

[roaring]

[shrieking]

See? I told you the gods were good.

[voice slowed down]
Ohhhh!

[gasps]

No-o-o-o!

Fee-ee-ee-eet!

Uhh! Oh, Maurice! I can't hold you!

And I can't hold Mort!

And I-- Feet!

King Julien, let the pineapple go

and give us your hand
so we can pull you up.

If you fall,
you'll be blown to smithereens!

Never! I will not sacrifice
the souls of my ancestors!

King Julien, I'm done
playing along with this.

There are no souls in there.

At this time, I'd bet my life on it.

Pinky swear, cross my heart
and hope to die.

I didn't hear you say,
"No backsies."

Listen to me. You don't need
a pineapple to make your decisions.

You have all the answers inside yourself,
no matter how stupid that sounds.

He's right, Your Majesty.
Deep down, you know exactly what to do.

You're right. I do know
the decision I must make.

I must sacrifice myself
to save the pineapple!

- [all] What?!
- No-o-o-o!

Hmm? Where--

Where am I?

Am I dead?

That's up to you, Julien.
Are you sure it's your time to go?

I don't know.

If I choose to go back,

will I still have your wisdom
to make the right decision?

The question is, Julien,
do you really need my wisdom?

Um, answering a question with a question
is really annoying, you know that, right?

Fine. You already have the wisdom.
That's how you got here.

You made a decision on your own.

So, if I do stay, what's death like?

Is there dancing?

Only on Sundays, after Bingo.

What'd you say, what?
Only one day of dancing?

What kind of third-world bughouse
are you running here, pineapple?

No, no way, I cannot stay here.

So you've made your decision?

Yeah, you bet
your prickly badonkadonk I have.

I'm going home, baby.

Whew. I thought he'd never leave.

[Julien]
I heard that.

He looks so peaceful.

I can have his body, right?

[snoring]

[babbles, coughs]

King Julien, you're okay?

Ah! Ha ha ha! Yes.

Because I chose life, Maurice. Life!

I chose making decisions for myself

and dancing on all days,
not just Sundays.

I love you, King Julien!

Can we please go back
to the way things were?

Of course, Mort.

Thank you, King Julien!
I'm so happy!

[boom]

King Julien, I promise that,
from this day forth,

your pineapple
will never leave my sight.

Actually, this new
decision-making king of yours

may have an even better idea.

[Mort humming]

[laughs]
Are you sure it's okay, King Julien?

I'm making my own decisions now, Mort.

Besides, Piney's beginning to rot.
Got for it, buddy.

[yelling]

Mmm-mmm!

That is some good soul!

Aaaaah!

[upbeat music playing]