All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 2, Episode 14 - Are You There, Frank? It's Me, King Julien - full transcript

[theme song playing]

♪ Party ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Woof! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪



♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

[Julien] As you know,
it's that time of the month again.

That time when we sacrifice
one of our earthly possessions

to the higher power,
known as Frank the Sky God.

[all cheering]

A guy I'd really like to meet.

Just to confirm that he's real because

I've never actually seen him.

Step right up
and put your offering on the pile.

[all] Frank! Frank! Frank!

Ooh, Frank, a bunny. It's adorable!

Why don't you come on down and get it?
Huh?



What do you say?

Oh-ho!

Look! A rusty can!

Pretty weak, Willie.

Who doesn't want their very own rusty can?

[laughs sarcastically]

I dare you, not to come down here
right now and get it.

Right now, Frank! Please?

[sighing]

Uh, King Julien,
are you upset about something?

Yes, Maurice. I'm surprised you noticed.

I mask my feelings so well.

I've started to doubt Frank's existence.

I no longer feel his presence
deep down in my nether-parts.

[gasps]

He doesn't mean it, Frank.

King Julien,
tell Frank you don't mean that.

I do mean it, Masikura. Think about it.

We come out to the beach
every month to thank Frank

by giving him some pretty cool stuff,

but he never actually takes any of it.

Also, there's the Foosa.

If Frank the Sky God was really up there,

don't you think he'd prevent them
from eating us all the time?

And need I mention
the most obvious bit of evidence?

How could Frank exist in a world
where this could happen?

[giggles]

Frank works in mysterious ways.

Or, there is no Frank.

[gasping]

She's with Frank now.

I'll never be fine

until I know for a fact
that Frank is real!

[all] Frank! Frank! Frank!

Are you there, Frank? It's me, Julien.

I'm not sure if you're on vacation

or you're just trapped
under something heavy

and unable to answer me,
but Frank, if you're out there,

give me some kind of a sign, man.

Oh, well,

I guess there's no Frank.

[yawns]

[snoring]

[wind blowing]

-[chimes ringing]
-[muttering]

Mort, go back to your hut!

I don't want any of your sleep-hugs.

I am Frank.

Uh, sorry, Frank who?

Frank the Sky God, Frank.

Mm, yeah, I don't think so.
Frank's not real and if he was real,

he'd be way taller,
and you know, more glowy.

If I weren't Frank, could I do this?

Big whoop!

I know, like,
four other guys who can do that too.

Doesn't prove anything.

Um, but if you're really Frank,

can you make sparkly glitter hearts appear

out of thin air that spell my name?

[chiming]

Still not convinced.

Can you pull an egg
out of your mouth hole?

Huh?

Meh...

Can you make a perfect
coconut crème brûlée?

Actually, I've had better.

Whatever, Julien. I'm Frank,

and I'm not going to stand here
proving it to you.

That's exactly
what the real Frank would say!

Frank! It's really you!

[laughing]

Hey, listen, sorry about the whole
not believing in you thing.

Also, I may or may not have
taken your bunny.

-[horn blowing]
-[murmuring tiredly]

Due to the fact
that Maurice is a big ol' doubter...

I'm a what?

...and has called into question
the existence of Frank.

[all gasping]

I, your king,
decided to call in a few favors.

Behold!

[all chattering]

It can't be!

Yes, it is I, Frank the Sky God.

I stand before you in all my glory.

Frank! Frank! Frank!

Hello, Masikura.

My...

He said hello. He said...

[stuttering] he-he-he-he-llo-oh-oh--

[gasping]

Uh, King Julien,
are you sure that's Frank?

Oh, Maurice, if I were not Frank,

then how would I know your secrets?

Especially what you did...
with your butt.

Hmm? Uh, I, I--

I don't know what you're talking about.

The throne room.

Maybe next time, King Julien,
you'll listen to what I have to say.

Forgive me, Frank. Forgive me!

How could you? I sat on that throne!

With my booty.

Admittedly,
what Maurice did was really weird,

but it doesn't mean you're Frank.

Ah, yes, Clover.

Someone told me you would be skeptical.

Someone who took you to wrestling practice

every morning,
even though your mother forbade it.

Grandma Rose? That's impossible.

She died in a back alley brawl
with a wildebeest.

I spoke with her yesterday.

She wanted me to relay
a very important message

to her little bruiser.

[gasping] No one knows she called me that.
What's the message?

Where she buried her favorite pair
of brass knuckles? Tell me, tell me!

She said, "In a fight,

always go for the eyes and the nose."

I always do, Grandma Rose. [whimpering]

-Always do.
-Any other doubting Debbies out there?

Great, now that that's settled, listen up.
This is a big moment for me.

I've gotta be honest,
I was lost thinking Frank wasn't real,

but I know now that Frank is real
and watching over all of us!

[all cheering]

King Julien, I will now bestow upon
your people an important message.

Of course, buddy.

Many of you may be wondering
why I am here.

Am I being promoted to Sky God?
A follow-up question:

Does my new position
come with a superpower?

Because, I can't decide
if I want to make things explode

with my brainy parts,
or have tentacles for hands.

And everyone would be like,
"Oh, King Julien,

your super awesome tentacle hands
are so super awesome

that they're freaking me out, man!"

Sorry. Proceed.

I am here because my brother,
Larry the Volcano God,

is angry with all of you.

He has vowed to destroy Madagascar

unless you sacrifice...

King Julien by throwing him
into the volcano by sundown today.

Yeah! Let's... Wait, what you say what?

Let's get him!

[all shouting]

[screams]

[Maurice] King Julien, what are you doing?

I'm hiding from my people.

-They're hunting me.
-No one's hunting you.

King Julien, are you in there?

I just need your measurements.
I'm not here to sacrifice you.

[giggling sarcastically]

[imitating Mort] No.

Just me, Mort,
being small and annoying as usual.

[Julien giggling]

No, tell Masikura
that King Julien's not in there.

We'll have to keep looking.

[whimpering]

Your Majesty, I'm sure
this is all just a big misunderstanding.

Instead of freaking out,
let's go talk to Frank.

Calmly and rationally.

Yeah. Yeah.

Calmly and rationally.

I can do that.

[sighs deeply]

Remember, calmly and rationally.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

[whistling]

Oh, hey, Frank, uh...

So listen, about the whole,
"throwing me into a volcano" thing--

[bawling]

Please, Frank.

Don't make Julien jump
into the volcano, please.

Silence!

Kneel before me.

Julien.

[gasping]

Oh, Karl?

I hope you're enjoying
my brilliant charade as a Sky God.

Chauncey helped pick out the eyelids.

Didn't you, Chauncey?

Impersonating a Sky God?
This is a new low, man!

Indeed. I bet you're wondering
how I came up with such an ingenious,

uber-complicated plan such as this.

No, not really.

Good, because I'm going to tell you.

It all started when I got hit

by your hot air balloon
full of wish rocks.

As I recovered from my concussion,

I began reading
all of your pathetic wishes.

Oh, oh.

That's disgusting.

I realized, that I could use you

and your kingdom's belief
in Frank to my advantage.

I could become Frank,
the all-knowing Sky God!

Of course, I anticipated that some of you
would need a little convincing,

so I sent Chauncey to get the goods.

How serendipitous
that your little crisis of faith

would coincide with my plans.

The icing on my evil genius cake.

That cake is iced
with failure frosting, Karl.

And I'm saving you a corner piece

because there's no way
you're going to get away with this.

I'll tell my peoples everything!

[laughing sarcastically]

Be my guest.

Too bad no one will believe you.

[laughs]

Please, I am their king.

They have to believe everything I say.
It's the law.

Uh, no, it isn't.

It, uh, it isn't?

Ugh.

Who is in charge around here?

Why would they listen to you

when the almighty gods have spoken?

No. You will be sacrificed
by your own people.

[laughs hysterically]

It's brilliant! I am brilliant!

Not so fast, Karl.

I'm not giving up my king without a fight.

[exclaiming]

[grunts in pain]

Clover!

I said, "Put 'em up."

What's wrong, Julien? You look afraid.

Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you.

Not yet, at least.

Run, Your Majesty! Run!

[screaming] Why?!

[babbling incoherently]

-Snap out of it!
-Huh?

[indistinct chatter]

What are you all waiting for? Get him!

-Wait! Hear me out.
-Make it quick.

Okay, I've got bad news.

Karl built a robot
and is pretending to be Frank

because he wants you
to throw me in the volcano.

Good news is, we're all going to
band together and stop him.

Okay, who's got a plan?

I'll get his legs, someone get his feet.

We can toss him
in the volcano before dinner.

Oh, Frank will be so proud of me!

No, no!

Are you not listening? Karl is Frank.

Uh-huh, we'll need tape for his mouth!

But the screaming is the best part
of the ritual sacrifice.

[screaming]

[panting, gasping]

Oh, man. This is it.

There's no way I can beat a god,
even if he is fake.

[Mort] You're a god to me, King Julien.

Ah, not now, Mort.

-Ow, ow, ow!
-Wait, that's it!

Timo!

I need you to make me a god.
And I need you to do it in like an hour.

Hmm!

[triumphant instrumental music playing]

Julien, meet Larry the Volcano God.

[Julien] Yes.

If I was a god,

I believe this is exactly
what I'd look like.

Uh, how are its dance moves?

Is that important?

[grunting]

Dance is life, Timo.
It's always important.

So, uh, where's the door on this thing?

[laughing, snorting]

I forgot to build a door.

Timo, how am I going to fight Karl's robot
if I can't even get into mine?

Well, you could go in through the ear.

The ear? Who besides Mort, would be
even tiny enough to fit through there?

[Mort] Mmm.

-Oil--
-No, Mort! Focus.

-[Mort groaning] Oh... Hey... Ooh...
-[grunting]

Suck it in, Mort.

I'm trying!

Step aside, Timo. I'll handle this.

I'm okay!

Remember, the suit is hooked up
to your temporal lobe, so,

whatever you want the suit to do,
it will do.

Feet!

Mort! Put me down right now--

Sorry.

[giggling]

Fire up the thrusters.

Test number two.

Robot! Robot! Robot!

[grunting]

I am a robot! I am a robot!

Mort, stop goofing around!
We've got an evil genius to stop.

Okay.

[screaming]

-[crashing]
-[Mort grunting]

Ai-jai-jai.

Okay, Mort, let's go.

Since King Julien is too afraid to show up

to do his duty as your king,

I am forced to sacrifice these two

to my brother Larry instead.

[grunting]

It's go-time, Mort.

Just read from the cue cards and remember,

when I scream, "Throw me into a volcano,"

that's your cue.

[Mort] Got it! [giggling]

Prepare to be--

No, take me, Frank!
Let me be your sacrifice, please!

I love you!

Where was I? Right.

Prepare to witness
the awesome power of me,

Frank the Sky God, as I--

Not so fast, Frank! Karl...
Whoever you are.

King Julien, there you are.

I knew you would come back.

A great king like you
would never forsake his people.

Yes!

I am a great king,
and I have come to sacrifice myself.

Ah, huh?

Oh, this is it, Chauncey!

This is the moment we've been waiting for.

Victory is nigh, my friend!

[squeaking]

Don't worry, Julien.
This won't hurt a bit. Not--

Not yet, at least. Yeah, yeah, I know!

[laughing hysterically]

How I love the way we banter.

I think I'll miss that the most,
when you're gone.

Aw, that'd be sweet, if you weren't
about to throw me into a volcano!

I said, "If you weren't about to

throw me into a volcano!"

Yes, I heard you the first time.

Come on, Mort, come on!

One more time for the lemurs in the back.

If you weren't about

to throw me into the volcano!

"Throw me into a volcano."
[repeating rapidly]

Oh, that's my cue!

[grunts]

Well played, Julien.

Care to introduce your friend?

Who? Him?
Never seen him before in my life.

What is wrong, Frank?

Do you not recognize your own brother?

[gasps] Frank and Larry?

[sighs]

Why, hello, Larry. Thank you for coming.

I'm just about to be thrown
into a volcano.

Is there anything you'd like to say
before I do that?

Anything at all?

Uh, yes. I wanted to say...

Uh...

I...

Something about Frank being a liar

and how I shouldn't be thrown
into the volcano?

Perhaps. I mean, just as an idea.

Yes!

Frank is lying!

King Julien should not be thrown
into the volcano.

Frank should be thrown into the volcano!

[gasping]

All right, Larry.
Let's see what you're made of.

But I should warn you,

you mess with the Frank, you get these!

You mean, these?

Huh? You've got those, too.
Well, what about...

[sing-song] Buttons. Buttons.
I love pushing buttons.

-[gasping]
-[grunting]

[screaming]

-[straining]
-[mumbling]

-[Mort shouting]
-[screaming]

[all gasping]

Maurice, swing!

-[grunting]
-[whimpering]

This is no time for fun and games, guys!

Ah!

Enough peacocking!

Let's do this!

[giggling] Okay.

[exclaiming]

[groaning]

You are no match for me, Larry!

No one can stop me!

[screaming]

[Mort] No!

No! No!

Now, where is Julien?

Ah, the lava is burning
the royal feet pads.

Help!

Not the feet!

You're going to have to go through me

if you want to save
your precious King Julien.

Okay by me!

No!

-Ah, oh.
-[grunting]

This is for King Julien!

Frank!

Why!

[sobbing]

Congratulations, Julien.

It appears you have won this round.

News flash, Karl, I win every round.

This isn't over, Julien!
Not yet, at least!

Yeah, yeah, I can lower my voice, too.

[in a lowered voice]
See, I'm doing it right now.

Gotcha!

[giggling]

[cheering]

-King Julien, you're safe!
-So, who's the big guy?

Ha-ha-ha, hello.

-Mort?
-Mort?

Mighty Larry,
take me to your lava palace, please!

[digital beeping]

[grunts]

[sighing]

What's wrong, King Julien?

Karl's gone,
and no one got thrown into the volcano.

You should be happy.

I can't be happy
knowing that Frank's not real.

Wait. Wait, I'm feeling something

deep down in my nether-parts.

-The royal butt is on fire!
-Stop drop and roll, Your Majesty!

[sighs] Whew!

That sky rain just put out my butt-fire.

Could that mean...

No!
It still doesn't prove that Frank is real.

I mean, after all, if he were real,

he would definitely have done something
about how annoying Mort is by now.

[laughing]

[Mort shouting in pain]

He really does work in mysterious ways.

[dramatic music playing]