All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 2, Episode 13 - The King Who Would Be King - full transcript
Maurice reveals a book to Julien where stories of the past lemur kings are recorded. Unknown to him, Clover begins documenting his legacy with made up stories which are offensive to some.
[theme song playing]
♪ Party ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Get down for the get down ♪
-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
♪ Woof! ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
King Julien.
[Mort] Ow!
[Mort groaning]
I have a very important
announcement to make.
It's time.
Yes. Cake o'clock! Lovin' it.
No, Your Majesty, it's not cake--
Been waiting for cake o'clock all day.
Even wrote a little ditty for it.
Wanna hear it? Here it go.
I call it "Cake o'clock rock."
Ready, DJ Glitterbuns?
D-D-D, DJ Glitterbuns-buns-buns is ready
to drop some... [scratching] funky beats!
[hip-hop music playing]
♪ You know, like people
Ask me all the time ♪
♪ Hey, KJ, what time is it? ♪
♪ You know what time it is? ♪
♪ It's cake, cake o'clock ♪
♪ Time to rock, rock-o-rock ♪
♪ Time to strap on
That sugar shock ♪
♪ Shock! Shock! Sugar shock! ♪
♪ It's cake-cake o'clock ♪
♪ Time to change
Your shoes and sock ♪
♪ Sock! Sock! Shoes and sock! ♪
♪ You only have the one sock ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ You have only got ya one sock
'Cause you love, love, love ♪
♪ Cake, cake, cake o'clock ♪
Third cake o'clock song this week.
♪ Gonna call me ♪
♪ Sir Bake-bake-bake-a-lot
'Cause I eat cake-cake-cake-a-lot ♪
[laughs]
♪ Yo, don't you know
It's cake o'clock ♪
♪ So we all gotta blow
Out the candles, homes ♪
♪ Out candles, homes ♪
♪ That's all, that's it
We out ♪
♪ Cake is what it's all about ♪
♪ No doubt ♪
Mm, delicious.
Sorry, Your Majesty,
it's not cake o'clock.
It's time to introduce you
to all the King Juliens
that came before you.
All the kings? Where?
Is my booty brushed properly?
No, Your Majesty. In here.
-This book is The Kings' Chronicles.
-[Mort] Ooh.
Thighsander Plunderhorse faced off--
[gasps]
Hm.
The what-you-say-what now?
[Mort] I'm okay.
Inside this book,
resides the life stories
of all the King Juliens.
[Clover gasps] The Kings' Chronicles.
This book is the reason I do what I do.
Annoy me with your
over-the-top aggressiveness?
No! I-- I mean, I, uh...
Keep it together, Clover. [gasps]
They don't know what this book
means to you.
How you're not worthy
to even be in its presence.
No! No!
[shrieking]
I'm not worthy.
[drawling] Okay?
All of the King Juliens
have written down
their life stories in this book.
Their greatest achievements,
their unbelievable, amazing adventures,
their, their, their... words.
Achievements?
Adventures?
Words?
Maurice, why didn't you tell me
that all the kings
have written their stories down
in this big book?
That's pretty much exactly
what I did tell you.
Let us take a look
inside of this big book
full of kingly stuff.
[Mort] I think my brain is leaking.
Hey, check out this guy.
King Julien I.
[Julien reading] "Ful savorly dide he seke
to gaven the wourld
a worthy jape of his wounderous booty-ar."
I don't know what those words mean,
but look at that booty.
Wondrous! You can tell we're related.
Ooh! King Julien II.
[Julien reading] "If everst there were
a king that knew the who and how,
'Twas the royal liege
that didst marry the royal cow.
Wrong or right, saint or sinner.
After the wedding
there was steak for dinner."
Whoa, hold on. This guy ate his wife?
[laughing]
That cowboy knew how to party!
King Julien XII said,
"The horrific death of one lemur
is worth its weight in gold.
Fear gold.
Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha-ha-ha."
[chuckles] This guy's funny.
Reminds of me of how Uncle King Julien
used to laugh.
That is Uncle King Julien.
[Julien] Oh, yeah. Such a great laugh.
He'd go...
[laughing maniacally]
And then everybody would pee themselves.
And not in a good way.
Oh, what a kidder.
What has happened?
The pages are all blank.
They're empty. [exclaiming]
The line of kings is broken!
[bawling] Broken!
No, Your Majesty,
those are for you to fill in.
See? "King Julien XIII." That's you.
These are your pages.
Don't placate me, Maurice.
It's not becoming of-- Wait!
My pages? Mine?
Mm. Oh.
Softer than I expected.
Mm, I could just cuddle up
in these all day by a warm fire.
Wait, I know what must be done.
These kingly pages must be filled
and I must fill them.
Let the writing about me begin by me!
It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times.
-Call me Ishmael.
-Ugh!
[speaking gibberish]
This font size is unacceptable.
Okay, Amelia, here's the pitch:
In the beginning... Well, no,
I just don't think you get it.
[crying]
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was this time
when I was a little boy...
[cries in despair]
Any other notes, Amelia?
-[Julien screams]
-[Mort whimpering]
-I'm ready.
-[Mort screams]
Okay. Gonna write now.
Ta-da.
[classical music playing]
[laughing maniacally]
[bawling]
[shouting] Ah!
How's the writing coming, Your Majesty?
Clover, please. The noise.
[crying] I lost it.
The muse is gone.
Is that a pudding face?
Yes. Why-- Yes.
Part of my writing process.
If you were a writer, you'd know this.
Actually, I do dabble in the odd bit of--
[shouting] Oh, this is impossible.
How am I supposed to work
with all these distractions?
Now, I need to start over
and get the word-juices flowing again.
First, I need to take a nap.
-[snoring]
-Look at all these beautiful blank pages.
Whoa! [gasps]
To be able to write in that book...
Just a little...
A few words.
[Julien snoring]
I'm sure King Julien wouldn't mind.
Just gonna move the pudding face.
[giggles]
-[pen scratching]
-That is good.
Oh, that's genius, that is. Oh, oh.
[giggles]
[Clover] That is really good.
[rooster crowing]
Today is the day
I'm actually going to write in the big--
What? How?
-Maurice!
-What is it, Your Majesty?
Words! Book!
There are words in my book!
And that's...
Good? Bad? I'm not sure
I understand the question-- Because?
[softly] I didn't write them.
See? See? Right there. Words.
And look at the way
they're all next to each other.
Those are called sentences, Your Majesty.
Sentences. Sounds fancy.
What do those "sen-ten-ceezs" say?
[reading] "Welcome
to the illustrious career
of King Julien XIII.
His world overflows with adventure
and daring deeds of derring-do."
Ooh. That's like twice the daringness.
"King Julien XIII
came riding into this world
fully formed with biceps rippling
and bulging,
well-oiled and ready for action
poised atop a unicorn horn."
A unicorn horn?
Bulging biceps?
Your Majesty, somebody's playing you.
Such accuracy.
What else does it say I did?
"King Julien's ears
were so manly and well-proportioned
that they could hear
the cries of his people...
-[all crying]
-...bewailing the grave misfortune...
of a freezing water slide
that gave out such cold booties.
He put his hands together
and created the sun
and bounced it up into the sky
to lovingly heat the booties
of all his peoples."
[all cheering]
[giggling] Wow! Did you hear that,
Maurice? I'm a booty-heater. Ha, ha!
King Julien, you did not create the sun.
Wha-- We don't know that.
I do walk in my sleep.
Could have happened then.
Look, there are a bunch
more stories about me.
They probably aren't real either.
No, wait.
It's obvious, Mo-Mo.
What if the gods wrote this?
What if the gods were all like,
"Julien-baby, J-man, love your stuff.
You done so many wonderful things."
And, I was like, "Who me?"
And they're like, "Yeah, of course, you.
Oh, but right, you don't remember
'cause of the whole sleep-walking thing.
So, we wrote it all down
for you in the big book.
Enjoy. Oh, and KJ?
You're so great, you should really share
these stories with your peeps."
And I was like, "You know what, gods?
Yeah! That's exactly what I'm gonna do!"
I got so excited when King Julien asked me
to bring his life story to the people...
[chuckles] that I dug deep
into the old brain pan
and looked into the future to create...
the LaserInk-Jetatron.
[Julien sighs]
[chuckles, snorts]
Finally, words have found
their true purpose.
To give the joy of my greatness
to the peoples.
I shall call it
The Fantastical True Stories
of the Grand High King of Lemuria:
My Life and Amazing Exploits.
-[giggling]
-What are you smiling about?
You know this is gonna end badly.
Oh, I don't know.
Have you read the stories?
Pretty exciting and well-written,
if you ask me.
I'm interested to see
what the people think
about King Julien's adventures,
I mean. Heh.
Extra, extra! Read all about it.
Amazing exploits of King Julien XIII.
Hey, this is something.
[shouting excitedly] We're all gonna read!
Listen to this one.
[reading] "King Julien XIII
-clapped his mighty hands together...
-[wave roars]
-...and scared the ocean away...
-[wave screams]
...with his massive, rippling biceps."
Wait. Wait, this one's too much.
It's got wizards and laser eyes.
[reading] "The mighty wizards
faced each other...
-[both shouting]
-...eyes glowering and glowing with magic
which they unleashed
in a frenetic fury of laser eyes.
-[both shouting]
-But, when KJ13 used his secret weapon,
his magic booty,
he obliterated the evil Ratta-wiz
once and for all time."
[all cheering]
[Julien laughing]
You see?
The peoples are really loving
all the true stories
the gods have written down about me.
I know! [giggles]
It's such a powerful feeling.
For you, Your Majesty.
[Timo grunting]
[Mort giggling]
My peoples, we got another tale
ripped from the pages
of The Fantastical True Stories
of the Grand High King of Lemuria.
If you love the Magic-Booty King Julien,
you're gonna love Emo-Sparkly King Julien.
[reading] "The Emo-Sparkly KJ13,
brooded as he stared in
a brooding-emo stare, across the beach.
All sparkly and brooding and emo,
and he made a mighty leaping kick.
Flying brooding-emo-kick!
The giant scorpion was a vile
and disgusting creature
that deserved
to be kicked right in the gob."
You see, this big and ugly monstrosity
-lived in a cave and ate babies...
-[Mort whimpering]
...and had a horrible habit
of wearing diapers on his head.
Used ones!
[Fred] A giant scorpion?
Big and ugly?
Diapers on my head?
Ate babies?
I only ever ate that one baby,
just the one.
And now it's all
everybody ever talks about.
These are lies. Lies!
Everything I've believed in is a lie!
King Julien is gonna pay for this!
[roaring]
Hi, and welcome to Xixi's Book Club.
I've introduced you to some steamy
finger-tinglers in the past
but today we have King Julien's
Fantastical True Stories of the Grand
High King of Lemuria:
My Life and Amazing Exploits.
The frenzy has spawned
a hotly debated division.
Who do you like better?
Magic-Booty King Julien?
[shouting excitedly]
Vote Team Magic-Booty!
Or Emo-Sparkly King Julien?
[shouting excitedly]
Vote Team Emo-Sparkly!
Oh, my, so exciting.
All eyes are on King Julien
to see what the next installment
of his life will be.
[Julien humming]
Nope, still blank.
How long does it take for the gods
to do their writing thing?
Don't know. How'd it work last time?
Well, it was pretty easy, actually.
I just took a nap.
Here I am, napping.
Napping-nappy-nappy-nap.
[snoring] Napping.
Here I am.
Come on. Please, gods?
Please write down some more
of my amazing adventures?
[softly] If you'd actually go take a nap,
then I could get writing.
What was that, Clover?
[stuttering] I said... um, maybe
if everybody left the room,
the gods could write
in The Kings' Chronicles.
Yeah, that's what I said.
They're probably just shy.
Excellent idea.
Everyone out. [grunts]
I'll just stay and, uh, protect
the gods while they're writing.
[all] Hm?
Ooh, I like that.
Oh, oh! That's a good one.
-Um, Clover?
-[Clover grunting]
[Clover screaming]
[crying] I hate it when my mommy
is mean to my dads.
[Julien and Maurice grunting]
[gasps] King Julien, I... Maurice!
Sorry! I...
[stuttering]
Clover isn't here right now.
Yes, you are, and Mo-Mo and I
have the bruises to prove it.
Which really begs the question,
why are you writing
in The Kings' Chronicles?
Isn't it obvious?
Clover is one of the gods?
Not fair!
No. Clover isn't a god, she's just Clover.
And she's the one
writing the King's stories.
Oh. Ooh...
Uh. Wha-- [exclaims]
You mean the stories about me,
I can't remember happening,
actually never happened?
I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I...
I couldn't help myself.
Oy vey... This is terrible.
We can't just lie to the people.
They're really believing these stories.
Exactly, Maurice.
These stories are important to my peoples.
They are really loving my exploits.
We have to give them more.
Besides, I really have to hear
what I do next.
"Keep on sparkling."
"King Julien," smiley face.
"This magic booty's for you, Dorothy."
-"King Julien, hearts and sparkles--"
-[Fred] King Julien!
-[all clamoring]
-[roaring]
-[Clover gasps]
-Clover, you know this guy?
Um. [coughs]
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've heard of him.
His name's Fred.
Giant scorpion, lives in a cave.
Might have kind of used him as inspiration
for one of your stories.
King Julien, I believed in you.
Your stories changed my life.
But, then you told lies about me.
Lies! And what is this place?
This isn't Lemuria.
This place is a total dump.
And you, you're not brooding
or sparkly or muscle-y.
I feel so betrayed right now.
I want everyone to know
that your story about me was a lie!
[laughs nervously] Sounds easy enough.
Let's just tell everybody
the truth about Fred here.
Hey, there now,
you can't talk to KJ13 like that.
He's done amazing and wondrous things.
Hit him with your magic booty, King J.
Uh... well... uh...
Take it easy there, Ted.
No! Ted's right.
We don't have to be afraid of you,
you big bully.
We got King Julien.
He shoots magic out of his eyes
and rides unicorn horns.
Yes, about that...
King Julien XIII is my hero.
[clears throat]
Listen, uh, Fred, is it?
The stories are important to my peoples.
They love the stories as they are
and so, that's how the stories
are gonna stay.
[all murmuring in agreement]
That's what I'm talking about, yeah.
Yeah. Sorry.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm sorry, too,
because now, this is happening.
[roaring] Happening!
Run away!
[Fred] Happening!
[all shouting]
This is happening!
Happening!
We're all gonna die
because we liked reading!
This is my fault
and I'll put an end to this.
On it!
Back off, Fred!
You want some?
Come get some.
[Clover grunting]
Happening! This is happening!
[chuckles] See?
I was on it.
Tail whip!
So not on it.
[groaning]
[shouting]
I don't understand.
The King Julien in my stories
would never let that mean old scorpion
get away with all that.
Sorry, Todd,
that King Julien only exists
in the beautiful,
inspiring stories about me.
I made it up.
Huh?
Uh-huh.
But, my peoples deserve to know the truth.
Hey, Fred!
Yeah. Hey, listen. Uh, you win, big guy.
I'll tell the truth.
Not only is my story about you fake,
but none of my stories are real.
Everything I said, written by Clover,
was a big fat lie.
They're all fake.
-Uh?
-What?
-Why?
-I don't--
Say it ain't so, King Julien.
Say it ain't so.
Yes, Ted. It is so.
Aw, sheesh! Life ain't worth living.
I'm in the dark here. Get that?
I'm in the dark!
Wait, all the stories are fake?
All of them? That's even worse.
This book changed my life and without it,
-I feel so sad. So empty.
-Oh, boy.
So angry. [screaming]
This is happening!
Hey, whoa! Frederick.
Cool it, buddy.
What's with you and all the destroying?
Calm it down a notch.
Sorry. I got anger issues.
I gotta breathe.
[panting]
One, two, three, four...
Okay, that's better.
That was bad... That was bad me.
You don't want bad me.
My peoples, and Fred, listen to me.
Everybody take a knee.
Come on in, bring it in.
Uh...
We all love the stories about me
for a lot of reasons.
Mainly, because they were about me.
Look, these stories may not be true,
but that's not important.
What is important
is how they made you feel.
Say, King Julien's right.
Listen, Fred, I know just what you need,
-buddy.
-What?
Our, like, totally beloved
King Julien XIII
awoke to find his most royal magic
emo-sparkly booty drifting through space.
This is me, "My booty's all floaty."
[humming] Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Until he was surrounded
by the evil space gizzards
in their buttleships.
All their really big laser guns
pointed right at him.
"Oh, no! I am so a goner.
If only somebody were brave enough
to save me."
But, too late. So sad.
All the laser guns fired at once,
like this.
[Julien imitating a laser] Pew! Pew!
[Julien screaming] Pew! Pew!
-[grunts in pain]
-[crowd exclaims in fear]
Just then, behind him,
Fred came swooping in.
Whoosh!
[imitating Fred] "I am heroic Fred,
-flying my giant scorpion space thingy.
-[Fred chuckling]
I will help you.
Together we will save the day."
-And the two hero guys fought back.
-[laughing]
-Oh, baby! What a fight.
-[Mort grunts]
[makes fighting and gun sounds]
Help me!
You go, King Julien!
Pew, pew! But, it looked like Fred
and KJ13 were, like, gonna be obliterated.
[all gasping]
Then Fred said,
"Use the booty, King Julien."
[laughing] I said that?
Thusly, KJ13 used his booty
and Fred used his really loud voice
and together they blew up all the baddies
in a big epic finish.
[makes explosion sounds]
[blows raspberry]
[both shout hysterically]
"And those are the adventures,
of the Most Amazing Marvelous
Fantastic Fred, Giant Scorpion,
and friend to everyone everywhere,
who only ever ate that one baby.
-The end."
-[crowd cheering]
Way to go, Fred!
Nice work, Your Majesty.
Although, I could have written it better.
Mr. Marvelous Fantastic Fred,
can I have your autograph?
Sure there, little fella.
-[heart beating]
-[stammering]
-Aah!
-[all gasping]
Huh?
Just kidding.
I wasn't gonna eat this baby.
I so fooled you guys.
[laughing]
[laughing nervously]
[Julien laughing]
Fred, you are such a kidder.
Quick, Clover.
Get Todd out of here.
["Cake o'clock Rock" playing]
♪ Party ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Get down for the get down ♪
-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
♪ Woof! ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
King Julien.
[Mort] Ow!
[Mort groaning]
I have a very important
announcement to make.
It's time.
Yes. Cake o'clock! Lovin' it.
No, Your Majesty, it's not cake--
Been waiting for cake o'clock all day.
Even wrote a little ditty for it.
Wanna hear it? Here it go.
I call it "Cake o'clock rock."
Ready, DJ Glitterbuns?
D-D-D, DJ Glitterbuns-buns-buns is ready
to drop some... [scratching] funky beats!
[hip-hop music playing]
♪ You know, like people
Ask me all the time ♪
♪ Hey, KJ, what time is it? ♪
♪ You know what time it is? ♪
♪ It's cake, cake o'clock ♪
♪ Time to rock, rock-o-rock ♪
♪ Time to strap on
That sugar shock ♪
♪ Shock! Shock! Sugar shock! ♪
♪ It's cake-cake o'clock ♪
♪ Time to change
Your shoes and sock ♪
♪ Sock! Sock! Shoes and sock! ♪
♪ You only have the one sock ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ You have only got ya one sock
'Cause you love, love, love ♪
♪ Cake, cake, cake o'clock ♪
Third cake o'clock song this week.
♪ Gonna call me ♪
♪ Sir Bake-bake-bake-a-lot
'Cause I eat cake-cake-cake-a-lot ♪
[laughs]
♪ Yo, don't you know
It's cake o'clock ♪
♪ So we all gotta blow
Out the candles, homes ♪
♪ Out candles, homes ♪
♪ That's all, that's it
We out ♪
♪ Cake is what it's all about ♪
♪ No doubt ♪
Mm, delicious.
Sorry, Your Majesty,
it's not cake o'clock.
It's time to introduce you
to all the King Juliens
that came before you.
All the kings? Where?
Is my booty brushed properly?
No, Your Majesty. In here.
-This book is The Kings' Chronicles.
-[Mort] Ooh.
Thighsander Plunderhorse faced off--
[gasps]
Hm.
The what-you-say-what now?
[Mort] I'm okay.
Inside this book,
resides the life stories
of all the King Juliens.
[Clover gasps] The Kings' Chronicles.
This book is the reason I do what I do.
Annoy me with your
over-the-top aggressiveness?
No! I-- I mean, I, uh...
Keep it together, Clover. [gasps]
They don't know what this book
means to you.
How you're not worthy
to even be in its presence.
No! No!
[shrieking]
I'm not worthy.
[drawling] Okay?
All of the King Juliens
have written down
their life stories in this book.
Their greatest achievements,
their unbelievable, amazing adventures,
their, their, their... words.
Achievements?
Adventures?
Words?
Maurice, why didn't you tell me
that all the kings
have written their stories down
in this big book?
That's pretty much exactly
what I did tell you.
Let us take a look
inside of this big book
full of kingly stuff.
[Mort] I think my brain is leaking.
Hey, check out this guy.
King Julien I.
[Julien reading] "Ful savorly dide he seke
to gaven the wourld
a worthy jape of his wounderous booty-ar."
I don't know what those words mean,
but look at that booty.
Wondrous! You can tell we're related.
Ooh! King Julien II.
[Julien reading] "If everst there were
a king that knew the who and how,
'Twas the royal liege
that didst marry the royal cow.
Wrong or right, saint or sinner.
After the wedding
there was steak for dinner."
Whoa, hold on. This guy ate his wife?
[laughing]
That cowboy knew how to party!
King Julien XII said,
"The horrific death of one lemur
is worth its weight in gold.
Fear gold.
Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha-ha-ha."
[chuckles] This guy's funny.
Reminds of me of how Uncle King Julien
used to laugh.
That is Uncle King Julien.
[Julien] Oh, yeah. Such a great laugh.
He'd go...
[laughing maniacally]
And then everybody would pee themselves.
And not in a good way.
Oh, what a kidder.
What has happened?
The pages are all blank.
They're empty. [exclaiming]
The line of kings is broken!
[bawling] Broken!
No, Your Majesty,
those are for you to fill in.
See? "King Julien XIII." That's you.
These are your pages.
Don't placate me, Maurice.
It's not becoming of-- Wait!
My pages? Mine?
Mm. Oh.
Softer than I expected.
Mm, I could just cuddle up
in these all day by a warm fire.
Wait, I know what must be done.
These kingly pages must be filled
and I must fill them.
Let the writing about me begin by me!
It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times.
-Call me Ishmael.
-Ugh!
[speaking gibberish]
This font size is unacceptable.
Okay, Amelia, here's the pitch:
In the beginning... Well, no,
I just don't think you get it.
[crying]
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was this time
when I was a little boy...
[cries in despair]
Any other notes, Amelia?
-[Julien screams]
-[Mort whimpering]
-I'm ready.
-[Mort screams]
Okay. Gonna write now.
Ta-da.
[classical music playing]
[laughing maniacally]
[bawling]
[shouting] Ah!
How's the writing coming, Your Majesty?
Clover, please. The noise.
[crying] I lost it.
The muse is gone.
Is that a pudding face?
Yes. Why-- Yes.
Part of my writing process.
If you were a writer, you'd know this.
Actually, I do dabble in the odd bit of--
[shouting] Oh, this is impossible.
How am I supposed to work
with all these distractions?
Now, I need to start over
and get the word-juices flowing again.
First, I need to take a nap.
-[snoring]
-Look at all these beautiful blank pages.
Whoa! [gasps]
To be able to write in that book...
Just a little...
A few words.
[Julien snoring]
I'm sure King Julien wouldn't mind.
Just gonna move the pudding face.
[giggles]
-[pen scratching]
-That is good.
Oh, that's genius, that is. Oh, oh.
[giggles]
[Clover] That is really good.
[rooster crowing]
Today is the day
I'm actually going to write in the big--
What? How?
-Maurice!
-What is it, Your Majesty?
Words! Book!
There are words in my book!
And that's...
Good? Bad? I'm not sure
I understand the question-- Because?
[softly] I didn't write them.
See? See? Right there. Words.
And look at the way
they're all next to each other.
Those are called sentences, Your Majesty.
Sentences. Sounds fancy.
What do those "sen-ten-ceezs" say?
[reading] "Welcome
to the illustrious career
of King Julien XIII.
His world overflows with adventure
and daring deeds of derring-do."
Ooh. That's like twice the daringness.
"King Julien XIII
came riding into this world
fully formed with biceps rippling
and bulging,
well-oiled and ready for action
poised atop a unicorn horn."
A unicorn horn?
Bulging biceps?
Your Majesty, somebody's playing you.
Such accuracy.
What else does it say I did?
"King Julien's ears
were so manly and well-proportioned
that they could hear
the cries of his people...
-[all crying]
-...bewailing the grave misfortune...
of a freezing water slide
that gave out such cold booties.
He put his hands together
and created the sun
and bounced it up into the sky
to lovingly heat the booties
of all his peoples."
[all cheering]
[giggling] Wow! Did you hear that,
Maurice? I'm a booty-heater. Ha, ha!
King Julien, you did not create the sun.
Wha-- We don't know that.
I do walk in my sleep.
Could have happened then.
Look, there are a bunch
more stories about me.
They probably aren't real either.
No, wait.
It's obvious, Mo-Mo.
What if the gods wrote this?
What if the gods were all like,
"Julien-baby, J-man, love your stuff.
You done so many wonderful things."
And, I was like, "Who me?"
And they're like, "Yeah, of course, you.
Oh, but right, you don't remember
'cause of the whole sleep-walking thing.
So, we wrote it all down
for you in the big book.
Enjoy. Oh, and KJ?
You're so great, you should really share
these stories with your peeps."
And I was like, "You know what, gods?
Yeah! That's exactly what I'm gonna do!"
I got so excited when King Julien asked me
to bring his life story to the people...
[chuckles] that I dug deep
into the old brain pan
and looked into the future to create...
the LaserInk-Jetatron.
[Julien sighs]
[chuckles, snorts]
Finally, words have found
their true purpose.
To give the joy of my greatness
to the peoples.
I shall call it
The Fantastical True Stories
of the Grand High King of Lemuria:
My Life and Amazing Exploits.
-[giggling]
-What are you smiling about?
You know this is gonna end badly.
Oh, I don't know.
Have you read the stories?
Pretty exciting and well-written,
if you ask me.
I'm interested to see
what the people think
about King Julien's adventures,
I mean. Heh.
Extra, extra! Read all about it.
Amazing exploits of King Julien XIII.
Hey, this is something.
[shouting excitedly] We're all gonna read!
Listen to this one.
[reading] "King Julien XIII
-clapped his mighty hands together...
-[wave roars]
-...and scared the ocean away...
-[wave screams]
...with his massive, rippling biceps."
Wait. Wait, this one's too much.
It's got wizards and laser eyes.
[reading] "The mighty wizards
faced each other...
-[both shouting]
-...eyes glowering and glowing with magic
which they unleashed
in a frenetic fury of laser eyes.
-[both shouting]
-But, when KJ13 used his secret weapon,
his magic booty,
he obliterated the evil Ratta-wiz
once and for all time."
[all cheering]
[Julien laughing]
You see?
The peoples are really loving
all the true stories
the gods have written down about me.
I know! [giggles]
It's such a powerful feeling.
For you, Your Majesty.
[Timo grunting]
[Mort giggling]
My peoples, we got another tale
ripped from the pages
of The Fantastical True Stories
of the Grand High King of Lemuria.
If you love the Magic-Booty King Julien,
you're gonna love Emo-Sparkly King Julien.
[reading] "The Emo-Sparkly KJ13,
brooded as he stared in
a brooding-emo stare, across the beach.
All sparkly and brooding and emo,
and he made a mighty leaping kick.
Flying brooding-emo-kick!
The giant scorpion was a vile
and disgusting creature
that deserved
to be kicked right in the gob."
You see, this big and ugly monstrosity
-lived in a cave and ate babies...
-[Mort whimpering]
...and had a horrible habit
of wearing diapers on his head.
Used ones!
[Fred] A giant scorpion?
Big and ugly?
Diapers on my head?
Ate babies?
I only ever ate that one baby,
just the one.
And now it's all
everybody ever talks about.
These are lies. Lies!
Everything I've believed in is a lie!
King Julien is gonna pay for this!
[roaring]
Hi, and welcome to Xixi's Book Club.
I've introduced you to some steamy
finger-tinglers in the past
but today we have King Julien's
Fantastical True Stories of the Grand
High King of Lemuria:
My Life and Amazing Exploits.
The frenzy has spawned
a hotly debated division.
Who do you like better?
Magic-Booty King Julien?
[shouting excitedly]
Vote Team Magic-Booty!
Or Emo-Sparkly King Julien?
[shouting excitedly]
Vote Team Emo-Sparkly!
Oh, my, so exciting.
All eyes are on King Julien
to see what the next installment
of his life will be.
[Julien humming]
Nope, still blank.
How long does it take for the gods
to do their writing thing?
Don't know. How'd it work last time?
Well, it was pretty easy, actually.
I just took a nap.
Here I am, napping.
Napping-nappy-nappy-nap.
[snoring] Napping.
Here I am.
Come on. Please, gods?
Please write down some more
of my amazing adventures?
[softly] If you'd actually go take a nap,
then I could get writing.
What was that, Clover?
[stuttering] I said... um, maybe
if everybody left the room,
the gods could write
in The Kings' Chronicles.
Yeah, that's what I said.
They're probably just shy.
Excellent idea.
Everyone out. [grunts]
I'll just stay and, uh, protect
the gods while they're writing.
[all] Hm?
Ooh, I like that.
Oh, oh! That's a good one.
-Um, Clover?
-[Clover grunting]
[Clover screaming]
[crying] I hate it when my mommy
is mean to my dads.
[Julien and Maurice grunting]
[gasps] King Julien, I... Maurice!
Sorry! I...
[stuttering]
Clover isn't here right now.
Yes, you are, and Mo-Mo and I
have the bruises to prove it.
Which really begs the question,
why are you writing
in The Kings' Chronicles?
Isn't it obvious?
Clover is one of the gods?
Not fair!
No. Clover isn't a god, she's just Clover.
And she's the one
writing the King's stories.
Oh. Ooh...
Uh. Wha-- [exclaims]
You mean the stories about me,
I can't remember happening,
actually never happened?
I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I...
I couldn't help myself.
Oy vey... This is terrible.
We can't just lie to the people.
They're really believing these stories.
Exactly, Maurice.
These stories are important to my peoples.
They are really loving my exploits.
We have to give them more.
Besides, I really have to hear
what I do next.
"Keep on sparkling."
"King Julien," smiley face.
"This magic booty's for you, Dorothy."
-"King Julien, hearts and sparkles--"
-[Fred] King Julien!
-[all clamoring]
-[roaring]
-[Clover gasps]
-Clover, you know this guy?
Um. [coughs]
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've heard of him.
His name's Fred.
Giant scorpion, lives in a cave.
Might have kind of used him as inspiration
for one of your stories.
King Julien, I believed in you.
Your stories changed my life.
But, then you told lies about me.
Lies! And what is this place?
This isn't Lemuria.
This place is a total dump.
And you, you're not brooding
or sparkly or muscle-y.
I feel so betrayed right now.
I want everyone to know
that your story about me was a lie!
[laughs nervously] Sounds easy enough.
Let's just tell everybody
the truth about Fred here.
Hey, there now,
you can't talk to KJ13 like that.
He's done amazing and wondrous things.
Hit him with your magic booty, King J.
Uh... well... uh...
Take it easy there, Ted.
No! Ted's right.
We don't have to be afraid of you,
you big bully.
We got King Julien.
He shoots magic out of his eyes
and rides unicorn horns.
Yes, about that...
King Julien XIII is my hero.
[clears throat]
Listen, uh, Fred, is it?
The stories are important to my peoples.
They love the stories as they are
and so, that's how the stories
are gonna stay.
[all murmuring in agreement]
That's what I'm talking about, yeah.
Yeah. Sorry.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm sorry, too,
because now, this is happening.
[roaring] Happening!
Run away!
[Fred] Happening!
[all shouting]
This is happening!
Happening!
We're all gonna die
because we liked reading!
This is my fault
and I'll put an end to this.
On it!
Back off, Fred!
You want some?
Come get some.
[Clover grunting]
Happening! This is happening!
[chuckles] See?
I was on it.
Tail whip!
So not on it.
[groaning]
[shouting]
I don't understand.
The King Julien in my stories
would never let that mean old scorpion
get away with all that.
Sorry, Todd,
that King Julien only exists
in the beautiful,
inspiring stories about me.
I made it up.
Huh?
Uh-huh.
But, my peoples deserve to know the truth.
Hey, Fred!
Yeah. Hey, listen. Uh, you win, big guy.
I'll tell the truth.
Not only is my story about you fake,
but none of my stories are real.
Everything I said, written by Clover,
was a big fat lie.
They're all fake.
-Uh?
-What?
-Why?
-I don't--
Say it ain't so, King Julien.
Say it ain't so.
Yes, Ted. It is so.
Aw, sheesh! Life ain't worth living.
I'm in the dark here. Get that?
I'm in the dark!
Wait, all the stories are fake?
All of them? That's even worse.
This book changed my life and without it,
-I feel so sad. So empty.
-Oh, boy.
So angry. [screaming]
This is happening!
Hey, whoa! Frederick.
Cool it, buddy.
What's with you and all the destroying?
Calm it down a notch.
Sorry. I got anger issues.
I gotta breathe.
[panting]
One, two, three, four...
Okay, that's better.
That was bad... That was bad me.
You don't want bad me.
My peoples, and Fred, listen to me.
Everybody take a knee.
Come on in, bring it in.
Uh...
We all love the stories about me
for a lot of reasons.
Mainly, because they were about me.
Look, these stories may not be true,
but that's not important.
What is important
is how they made you feel.
Say, King Julien's right.
Listen, Fred, I know just what you need,
-buddy.
-What?
Our, like, totally beloved
King Julien XIII
awoke to find his most royal magic
emo-sparkly booty drifting through space.
This is me, "My booty's all floaty."
[humming] Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Until he was surrounded
by the evil space gizzards
in their buttleships.
All their really big laser guns
pointed right at him.
"Oh, no! I am so a goner.
If only somebody were brave enough
to save me."
But, too late. So sad.
All the laser guns fired at once,
like this.
[Julien imitating a laser] Pew! Pew!
[Julien screaming] Pew! Pew!
-[grunts in pain]
-[crowd exclaims in fear]
Just then, behind him,
Fred came swooping in.
Whoosh!
[imitating Fred] "I am heroic Fred,
-flying my giant scorpion space thingy.
-[Fred chuckling]
I will help you.
Together we will save the day."
-And the two hero guys fought back.
-[laughing]
-Oh, baby! What a fight.
-[Mort grunts]
[makes fighting and gun sounds]
Help me!
You go, King Julien!
Pew, pew! But, it looked like Fred
and KJ13 were, like, gonna be obliterated.
[all gasping]
Then Fred said,
"Use the booty, King Julien."
[laughing] I said that?
Thusly, KJ13 used his booty
and Fred used his really loud voice
and together they blew up all the baddies
in a big epic finish.
[makes explosion sounds]
[blows raspberry]
[both shout hysterically]
"And those are the adventures,
of the Most Amazing Marvelous
Fantastic Fred, Giant Scorpion,
and friend to everyone everywhere,
who only ever ate that one baby.
-The end."
-[crowd cheering]
Way to go, Fred!
Nice work, Your Majesty.
Although, I could have written it better.
Mr. Marvelous Fantastic Fred,
can I have your autograph?
Sure there, little fella.
-[heart beating]
-[stammering]
-Aah!
-[all gasping]
Huh?
Just kidding.
I wasn't gonna eat this baby.
I so fooled you guys.
[laughing]
[laughing nervously]
[Julien laughing]
Fred, you are such a kidder.
Quick, Clover.
Get Todd out of here.
["Cake o'clock Rock" playing]