All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 6 - Eat Prey Shove - full transcript

{\i1}♪ Party ♪{\i0}

{\i1}- ♪ Who's the King?
♪ {\i0}-{\i1} ♪ King Julien ♪{\i0}

{\i1}- ♪ Who's the King?
♪ {\i0}-{\i1} ♪ King Julien ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Get down{\i0} {\i1}for the get down ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Everybody{\i0} {\i1}party with King who? ♪

{\i1}- ♪ King Julien ♪{\i0} {\i1}- ♪ King who? ♪

{\i1}♪ King Julien ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Tonight will be forever ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Let's do{\i0} {\i1}King Julien style ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Woof ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Whoa, whoa ♪{\i0}



{\i1}♪ Y'all tell me{\i0} {\i1}who's the king ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ Whoa, whoa ♪{\i0}

{\i1}♪ All hail King Julien! ♪{\i0}

With all due respect,
Your Majesty,

are you out of your mind?!

Only at parties.

Ladies love that hint of danger.

[growls] But that doesn't
mean I'm not right.

So you're, what, suspending me?

No! We're just asking you
to take a few days off.

Yeah, you've been a
scary stress-monster

who's totally cramping
the king's royal style.

I haven't got a
clue what you mean.

Well, off the
tippity-top of my head...



He's got a knife!

Ow!

Owww! Owww! Uhh!

King Julien, you've
got to taste this.

It'll blow your mind!

He's got a bomb!

It's a beverage!

[thud]

Oh. I spilled it.

No telling now what he's got!

- Your Majesty, you're safe.

I admit I may have misjudged
a few situations recently,

but you know what they say,
you can't make an omelet

without breaking a few arms.

Nobody says that.

- Maybe they should.
- Maurice is right.

You can't run around
like a footless chicken.

Headless chicken, Your Majesty.

Uh, no. How's a chicken

supposed to run
around without a head?

How's it run around
without feet?

I'm not a chicken, Maurice!

Why are you asking me
all these questions?

Oh, I hate it when
Mommy and Daddy fight!

- [crash]
- Waaah!

Clover, you need a vacation.

Vacation?!

Ohh. Where are we going?
What do I need to pack?

Where'd you come from?

Someone mentions
vacation, I'm there.

Same goes for when a celebrity
adopts an exotic baby.

Sheesh. Great timing.

Clover's a ticking timebomb
that needs a vacation,

and you are just the toucan to
show her the best time ever.

Your Majesty, the last
thing I need is a holiday.

La-la-la-la! This
means I can't hear you

because I'm out
of good responses!

Xixi, help Clover
get to Cove Park.

- I don't...
- I'm making it a law right now!

Clover has to take a vacation.
All in favor?

Aye! Aye! Aye! Oh, me, too!

Hey, great law, King Julien!

Boom! And that is how a bill

becomes a law.

It's a joy to watch you work!

Yeah, that reminds
me, take Mort.

Me? But I will
miss you the most!

- [grunts]
- Aah!

Vacation emergency! This
is not a drill, move it!

[sighs] I thought I'd
never get rid of them.

You know, I think a vacation
might really do Clover some good.

Maurice, you're so blind

to the back door of politics.

That vacation wasn't
for her, it was for me.

- Say what, now?
- I needed a break.

She won't stop
following me around.

She's following you around
because it's her job

to keep you safe.

Now {\i1}you {\i0}sound like Clover.

Is she working you like
some sort of puppet?

- What are you doing?
- Never mind.

I want to see how Clover
accesses your puppet mouth.

Oh, come on. Stop it.

No, {\i1}you {\i0}come on and stop it.

I'm perfectly capable of
taking care of myself.

If you'll excuse me,

I'm headed to the
Cove of Wonders

to find things that
are explode-able!

For your own safety,
Your Majesty,

the assistant captain of the
Ringtailed Guard will be watching you.

Reporting for duty, sir!

Has anybody seen my spear?

Shoot, I feel like
I just had it.

[cheering]

Oh, this is the
life, huh, Clover?

If it's all the same to
you, if I can't be working,

I'd rather focus on my writing
and not spend too much time

doing... whatever all this is.

- Well, whatcha writing?
- It's nothing.

Ooh, come on, let me see.

Ha ha! Got it!

Oh, no! Uhh!

Back off, or it's
going in the ocean.

Fine. Truce.

[Xixi] Ooh! Who's this fella?

Oh, he's very muscley.

- [mutters] Norj Grendelfist.
- Who?

Norj Grendelfist, okay?

He's the one true love of
Thysander Plunderhorse,

the heroine of my series of
self-published fantasy novels.

He's a brave warrior,
strong and...

- [blows whistle]
- Hey, everybody!

Limbo contest is starting
at 0-now-hundred hours!

- [blows whistle]
- Get that whistle away from me

before I feed it do you.

[gulps] Sorry. Just
trying to make sure

everyone has a good time.

What do you think?

Should we see how low we can go?

I want to go so low,

I hit rock bottom. Yay!

Oh, that's the spirit, Mort!

Come on, Clover!

Hmm?

That looks dangerous.
Really dangerous!

Maybe this holiday won't
be a waste after all.

[Julien] Let's get one thing
straight, substitute Clover.

You can't tame
this wild stallion,

and you can't tell this
wild stallion what to do,

because I speak a
strange horse language

that even {\i1}I {\i0}don't know.

[neighs, snorts]

What did I just say? No idea.

Heck, Your Majesty,
I wouldn't boss you around

even if I did speak horse.

Permission to offer
refreshments, sir!

Homemade smoothies, yum!

[gulping]

This delicious smoothie
changes nothing, by the way.

Ooh! Is that ginger I'm tasting?

To give it a little zing.

Ah, so that's your angle.

Get me hooked on your
tantalizing smoothies,

and then do mind control
on my brainy parts!

Ha! Nice try.

I should tidy up
before the stain sets.

You're cleaning up my mess?

Clover never does that.

Well, there's a new
sheriff in town,

and he is declaring marshal law

on all spills,
whoopsies and uh-ohs.

All right. Well...

I'm going out for a bit. Laters.

- Have fun.
- Okay.

Uh, don't you want to stop me?

I can be quite dangerous...
unattended.

I trust you. I'm just here to make
sure everything runs smoothly.

Or should I say "smoothie-ly"?
Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, holy cannoli!

Did you just make that up?

It's my nutty sense
of humor, I guess.

You're telling me

you're gonna let me
do whatever I want?

Suresies! I'm just tickled

to be so close to
a real live king.

I want to do whatever
makes you happy.

Really?

Well, if you want to hang
with a real live king,

you could tag along.

- [chuckling]
- From a safe distance.

Mmm. Ha ha! Clover would
never let me eat this much.

I'm just glad this
is my cheat day.

You sure about
this, Your Majesty?

Just do it before
I lose my nerve.

Aah!

Oh, fumble-rooskies!

I've killed the king!

Ha ha ha ha! That
was pretty epic!

Ha ha ha ha! Now let me do you.

Ohh!

Hmm. I've always wondered

what was under those rocks.

Let's go.

[grunting]

[straining]

[sighs] Nothing. Mystery solved.

[both screaming]

I can't believe
you let me do that!

Best captain of the
Ringtailed Guard ever!

But seriously, that was a
little dangerous, buddy.

I know. My heart is
going like a hummingbird.

Here, feel it.

Hmm.

Hyah!

You're... a lemur.

Technically. But I'm
not big on labels.

We're all children
of the universe.

[grunting and shouting]

If I let you loose, are you
gonna punch and kick me?

[groans] Not immediately.

But I cannot guarantee I
won't feel the urge to later.

Norj?

What? Is it my hair?

Pretty great, right?

I use a leave-in conditioner

I make myself from
fire ant larvae.

You, uh, remind me of...

someone.

Well, whoever that is,

he must be pretty special.

By the way, my name is...

[shouting gibberish and barking]

But you can call
me Sage Moondancer.

What are you doing out here?

Just grabbing a
fistful of this world.

Same as you.

[sighs] Are you alone?

Do you have dreams?

That's not even
remotely an answer

to what I asked you, so, um...

I disagree. You're never alone

when your dreams grab
your reality in a headlock

and say, "You let
me down, brother."

Eyes open, goddess.

The future you is
painting a final goodbye

on a cloudy bathroom mirror

in a hotel owned by the past.

So, are you a local or what?

Uh...

I was on this dreadful vacation.

Everyone was happy and relaxed

and playing games.
It was a nightmare.

Vacation is a tool
the ruling class uses

to enslave us.

I don't think I've ever
met anyone like you.

I have. My reflection
played out a million times

on the dew of a leaf,

a leaf attached to a tree
I planted with these paws.

A closed circle.

Your friends are probably
wondering where you are.

- [all cheering]
- Limbo!

Oh, yeah, get it, Mort!

Spring break, yo! Whaa!

I'm sure they haven't
even noticed I'm gone.

Perhaps you could,
uh, show me around?

On it.

That's my favorite phrase.

Mine, too.

Oh. Right there on the, uh...

On the lower back. Heh.
Forever. Okay.

Wow, I've never seen this
watering hole before.

Clover had it
declared off limits.

Something about it being
dangerous, I don't know.

She's such a worry-pants.

[snarling]

Foosa!

Right, that's what she said.

What do we do?!

You're here to
protect me, remember?

Just take them out!

You're totally gangster, Ted.

Way tougher than Clover.

Really?! No, seriously, really?

I don't know. Stuff
comes out of my mouth,

no idea how it got there.

We gotta do something,
or one of us...

You... is gonna get eaten.
So use your training.

Oh, yeah. My training.

Okay, Ted, come on,
see if you can hit me.

Charge!

Ay!

Hey, you big jerks.

You need to get the
"H" out of here!

I'm the captain of
the Ringtailed Guard,

and now you... You're just so...
Shoo!

Get out of here, you bullies!

- Clover gone?
- No Clover?

That's right. There is
nothing standing between you

and every tasty lemur haunch
in the village but me!

Yeah! Wait, what?

You nasty boys.

Charge!

Ohh, goodness!

I was afraid I was gonna tinkle.

Oh, turns out I did tinkle
a little bit. Sorry.

[groans]

No more Clover?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Foosa attack!

[snarling]

Spring break!

See how much better this is

than that dumb book, Clover?

Oh, yeah! Spring break!

[Mort] Spring break!

[gulping]

Brilliant.

Really hits the spot

when you're tired of
drinking your own pee.

Your life is
absolutely fascinating.

A strong, rugged survivalist

fighting against the elements,
killing your own food.

Yeah. Actually, um,

the Moondancer's not
really into the whole...

hitting and killing thing.

But the way you fight...

My sensei once taught me

aggression is a boil on
the fishmonger's nose.

But through nonviolence

the cobbler becomes a trout.

What if your life is in danger?

Danger is a house
built with fear-wood

and worry-nails.

Would you mind doing that...

heroic standing thing again?

The thing with the hair?

How's this?

[sighs] That's better.

And if you could, I don't
know, just talk a lot less.

No problemo.

I once took a vow of silence

that lasted three years.

I broke it when I got into a
shouting match with a fern.

- [growls]
- What's wrong?

Nothing. Just, um,

a bit of reality sinking in.

[hissing]

Oh, quick! Protect me, Norj!

- Who's Norj?
- Sage! I said Sage!

Aah!

[hissing and screeching]

[hissing]

[shouting]

You almost got us killed.

Huh! Oh... hello, guv'nor.

I am so sorry that snake forced
you to lash out in anger.

Quite all right.

You're a strong one, aren't you?

Did it become incredibly
warm all of a sudden?

Hmm. Hmm?

Ha ha ha! This is darling!

Look how he drew you! It's funny

because you don't expect
to see a king in a bikini.

Heh. Yeah. So much fun.

I'll be right back.

You gotta save me, man!
Ted is the worst!

It was a mistake for
you to send Clover away!

{\i1}You {\i0}sent Clover away.

I thought you liked Ted.
What happened?

I remembered how
freaky dangerous I am

when I don't have
Clover to remind me

how freaky dangerous I am!

I need a firm hand, Maurice.

And Ted's hand is so... soft.

It's like French
cheese or something.

Okay, I get it.

Lucky for you, Clover
should be back tomorrow.

Good. Because I saw some
foosa lurking around

- and Ted maybe told them Clover was gone.
- He what?!

I want to know everything about me.
You.

Tell me your secrets,
your hopes and dreams.

You've been talking to that
butterfly for almost an hour.

I know. He has so
much to teach me.

Thank you, friend.
Your wisdom is a gift.

So, anyway, while you were
communing with a butterfly,

I found something.

These look like fresh
foosa tracks, right?

[sniffs, slurps]

Ugh.

Yeah. Why?

They're headed for my village.

Cool. Company.

Not cool. If the foosa attack

and I'm not there, the kingdom
could be in real danger.

Oh, there's that word again.

- Danger?
- No. Real.

It's such a trap.

We're all just
ventriloquist dummies

and fate is a
cruel puppet master

sticking his unwashed
hand up our...

What is wrong with you?!
You're supposed to be brave

and heroic and virile and
attentive and romantic

and everything I
wrote in my stories!

Look at your abs!

You don't deserve
to have those abs!

The Moon-dizzle just believes

violence never solved anything.

Maybe not,

but it sure does feel good.

[groaning]

Where am I? [gasps]

Xixi! Wake up! Wake up!

Stay with me! Don't
go into the light!

No-o-o-o-o!

Spring break! Spring break!

Oh, yeah! We're never gonna die!

[sighs]

This place is beat.
We should get home.

Hey, Clover, you ready?

Clover?

Uh-oh.

Interim assistant captain

of the Ringtailed
Guard coming through.

Oh, why the frowny faces?

Did you tell the
foosa Clover was gone?

Hmm?

I... Oh, my.

Is this... Are you firing me?

[wailing]

- Uh...
- Nice.

What? But you told me...

But-but-but... As my advisor,

I had hoped you'd handle
this more professionally.

Put your arms around him or something.
He's getting First Class all wet.

There, there, Ted.
Nothing personal.

I just wanted to do a good job!

[sobbing]

You smell really good.

[wailing]

- We got a...
- Aaaaaaah!

- [thud]
- We got a problem.

We lost Clover.

Relax. As long as the foosa

don't use the
information Ted gave them

about Clover being away to
plan a full-scale attack,

we have nothing to worry about.

[screaming]

Okay, nobody panic.

It sounds like it
could be the foosa,

but we don't know yet.

Yeah, it's the foosa.
Ted, you're re-hired.

I, unlike Maurice,
always believed in you.

Oh, boy.

Come on! Lemur up, Ted!

Oh, thank you for the
second chance, King Julien.

Yeah.

[inhaling]

All right. Here I go.

Maybe if we wait a bit,
they'll tire themselves out.

They look kind of sleepy.

[screaming]

Ted, the kingdom
is counting on you.

If you don't go out and
fight, we're all doomed.

Me, you, everyone. Me again.
And also, me!

Well, sounds like
everything's under control.

So, uh, I'm just gonna...

I think I can get
the drop on them

and use the element of surprise.

[grunting]

On it! Hyah!

Oh, thank goodness.

I thought for a minute there...

Oops, too late. Tinkle again.

[snarling]

- Sage?
- I felt bad about the way we left things.

So not {\i1}muy bien{\i0} on my part.

I said some pretty harsh stuff.
Hyah!

I didn't mean it. [grunting]

And I'm here breaking my
vow of nonviolence for you.

[shouting]

Could we maybe... Hyah...
Discuss this later?

[grunting]

[Sage] Join me.

Yaaay! We did it!

Probably should've cleaned up
the tinkle before I hugged you.

I'll go do that now.

I'm really not the type of guy

to say I told you so, but...

I told you so! Hope
you learned your lesson

about begging the king to
let you go on vacation.

It was your idea to...

I mean... yes, Your Majesty.

And also...

there's no easy way
to say this, but...

you're pretty okay at your
job and you were missed.

That actually
seemed pretty easy.

But my point is...

it's no fun to do fun stuff

when there's nobody
trying to stop you.

And, Clover, you make
it almost impossible

to have fun.

Um... thanks?

And, uh, who's the man candy?

The name is...

[shouting gibberish and barking]

Cool, I can remember that.

Thanks for saving the kingdom.

I don't know what
we would've done

if you two hadn't showed up.

Probably just a lot of...

Ah! A foosa's
eating my face off!

Why would Clover abandon
her lemur family?

[wailing] Why?!

And then the...

[wailing] Something like that.

[laughs] Totally.

You should stay and
hang out with us.

We have an unreasonable
amount of trampolines.

I just came to give
Clover a proper goodbye.

I spoke to her in anger earlier.

It was totally not Moondancer.

Oh, you really didn't have to...

- Okay.
- Huh?

So, am I supposed to, uh...

Shh.

There. We have closure.

[whistles]

[squawks]

Hmm.

What was that?

Hopefully, my last vacation

for a very, very long time.

[squawks]

[music playing]