All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 5 - Return of the Uncle King - full transcript

[dance music playing]

♪ Party ♪

- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

- ♪ King who? ♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Now tell me who's the king ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪



[loud dance music plays]

Yeah! [Grunts]

[all cheering]

OK, let's take this to the
next level, my peoples!

Just throw your
paws into the air,

and wave them like you just
aren't caring about them.

- [laughing]
- [cheering]

Yeah!

No, no, no.

Care about them even less!

Like they mean nothing to you!

Ah! Ah! [Giggles]

More! You really
hate those paws.

They're so small and irritating,
but you can't get rid of...



- Huh? [Grunts]
- [Mort whimpering]

- [gasping]
- Uh!

[shouting]

- Whoo-hoo!
- Yes! Yes, that's it!

[shouting, laughing]

[cheering]

Whoa!

- [cheering]
- [Julien laughing]

[rhythmically grunting]

What's happening?
Are we under attack!?

- [Julien grunting]
- Huh?

Ah! Oof!

Another waterslide? Really?

Clover, you silly
prone-to-violence person.

Yes, it is another waterslide.

My people love water, so they
deserve to slide down it.

Love me, my people, for I am
the bringer of wet heinie!

[cheering]

You see? A great king must
be loved by his people!

- [all cheering]
- [Maurice laughs]

- The king sure knows how to have fun.
- I know.

It's OK for you

- to have fun too, right?
- Huh? Hey... [laughs]

I know how to have
fun when I want to.

Hey, Clover, I was just wondering
if you wanted to dan... [screams]

Step inside the circle of
comfort, you get the paw.

Happy New Year... Ah!

Gotta clip those claws, brother.
Thought you had a knife.

- [sobbing]
- Why so sad, Dorothy?

It's not like your
hut just burned down.

[steam hissing]

Oh... [laughs weakly]

- [grunts]
- Oh!

Not one of those stories
helps make your point.

Look, what I'm trying to say
is somebody has to make sure

everyone else is safe, so
your precious fun can happen.

Check it out, people!
One cheek! [laughs]

- [shouting]
- [creaking]

[laughing]

What is that delicious aroma?

So familiar. Ooh!

[screaming]

My royal behind is burning!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot! Ah!

Who dares turn off the water?

[male voice] Little
old me dares!

[gasps]

- He's...
- back!

Old man, why do
you look familiar?

[gasps] Are you Future Me!?

I am your uncle, Julien.

Uh, no, why would my future me be my uncle?
It doesn't, see...

Uncle King Julien.

Yeah, it makes no sense,
that's what I was...

[groans] Listen,
because it does, OK?

Wait, is this like "I'm your own
grandpa" freaky time travel thing?

I'm not future you.
I'm your uncle!

- Hm...
- Huh? Huh?

Oh, the ex-king.

Yeah, he left. In kind
of a hurry, actually.

Your Majesty, that
is your uncle.

Hold on, hold on.
Let me catch up.

[inhales, exhales]

There. Still not following.

[groans]

Uncle!

Bet you're surprised to see
me alive after Masikura said

I was going to be eaten!

You have no idea...

how grateful I am that
the prophecy was wrong.

Well, not completely wrong.
Check out this scar.

It's pretty awesome
battle damage, right?

As long as you're alive.

I had hoped... feared...

Feared that I had to
come out of retirement

- to take over for you.
- Nope. I'm all good.

So, uh... why did
you come back, Uncle?

What a brilliant question!

The reason for my visit.

Hm... Right here on the tip of my tongue.
It's coming, it's coming.

Hm...

Oh, I have news about our enemy.

There's jungle gossip.

An all-out foosa attack
on the lemur kingdom.

Nephew! Hello. Wake up!

[gulping loudly]

- Still waiting for the news.
- That was the news.

Oh. [Spits, coughs]

That's not very good.

Right, how do you
plan to respond?

Uh... hope they get lost?

I understand. And thank you,
Julien, for giving me this gift.

Well, you're most welcome...
Uncle, say what?

When I first
overheard the foosa,

I was going to sneak into their
den myself to find out their plan.

But then I thought, "How
dare I steal this opportunity

from my dear, dear nephew
to achieve immortality."

- [gasps] Immortality?
- Yes.

But clearly, it's not for you.

Gotta go.

Eh... Now, don't be so hasty.

Tell me more about this...
immortality.

It's what every
king strives for.

What every lemur
child learns about

in their "Most Immortal
Lemur of All Time" class.

Really? And how long does
this "immortality" last?

For life.

- [bell dings]
- [cuckoo clock sounds]

♪ Party, party ♪

♪ Life's an endless
party, party ♪

You wanna go where!?
And do what!?

I told you, I am going to
sneak into the foosa territory

and suss out their
heinous attack plan.

Foosa eat, foosa sleep.
Foosa do not plan!

Well, this time they are, and I must
find out what that plan... plans.

Forgive me, Your Majesty, but
this whole thing sounds like...

- [stammers] What's the word?
- Uh, immortality?

Suicide! Shouldn't Clover...

No! The reward...
I mean risk is too great.

The mission is secret.

That's why I've created... this!

Uh... Huh?

[laughs] A foosa disguise!

The real foosa will never
know it is us! [Laughs]

Us?

So what's the
plan, Your Majesty?

[laughs] Oh, good one, Maurice.

- [farts]
- [gagging]

- [Julien] Oh...
- Why are your haunches quivering?

You know it's never too late
to turn back, King Julien.

[Uncle King Julien] Immortality.

Ooh! Head voice.

[Uncle King Julien echoing] Note
the impressive echo, echo, echo...

- Um, is everything all right?
- Perfect, Maurice.

Better than perfect,
perfect, perfect...

[humming]

[grunts] Your Majesty, I...

[gasps] Sorry, sir, I
thought you were King Julien.

I'm King Julien, too.

I'm just not the King
Julien you were looking for.

[laughing] You see what I did there?
He's Julien, I'm Julien.

Oh, my goodness! A big
"J" on my forehead!

[chuckles nervously] Oh...

See, the other Julien is doing
what the other Julien does best:

- Goofing off in the jungle.
- In the jungle?

Without me to guard him?

Well, I think you'll
be pleased to learn

that while he's away,
I'll be filling in.

You can have the
pleasure of guarding me.

- Uh...
- [Mort] King Julien! King Julien!

Time for moonlight
bouncy-bounce at the trampol...

Feet!

These are not the flawless
feet of my King Julien

that haunt my dreams with pleasure.
Who...?

- [growling]
- Ah!

Who is this little,
annoying thing?

This is Mort. He's, um...
[stammers] He's Julien's...

- Best friend!
- He's an acquired taste.

Why are you wearing
King Julien's crown?

Only the king should wear
the crown, which is not you.

It is Julien. The other Julien.

The one I love so much because he's
about a billion times better than you!

Yeah, I'd like to have him destroyed
at your earliest convenience.

I want to be destroyed
by my King Julien!

[screaming, sobbing]

[howling]

[all snarling, howling]

Is it as bad as it
sounds, Your Majesty?

Worse. This party
is so last century.

A mosh pit? Oh! I'm ashamed
to even be here, Maurice.

So then maybe we should leave.
Let's go.

[shouting]

[grunting]

[Maurice] What's going on?
All I can see is your tushy!

[Julien whispers] Quiet, Maurice.
[clears throat]

[raspy voice] Uh, hi, hello.

Uh, how are you? [Roars]

- Hm?
- Hm?

[snarling]

That does not sound good.
Let's get out of here.

No, Maurice. We have a
chance for immortality here.

Do you not want immortality?

You can't be immortal if you
die before becoming immortal.

- We're going!
- I say we're staying!

- [Maurice] Going!
- [Julien] Staying!

[both grunting]

- Ah!
- Huh?

- [laughs weakly]
- [snarling]

[all growling]

[whimpering] Let me back in!

[Maurice grunting]

[making chewing sounds]

[laughs]

Uh! [Whimpering]

[grunting]

OK! OK! You win, Your
Majesty, we'll stay!

- Just don't do it again!
- [Julien] All right.

[swallows loudly]

[growling]

Foosa awesome!

We're gonna die!

No, Maurice, if
I'm not mistaken,

we've just been invited
to join the party.

- [dance music playing]
- [cheering]

By the gods, Clover,
what are they doing?

[Clover clears throat]

That's the stretching
spa, Your Former Majesty.

New King Julien felt the
kingdom wasn't limber enough.

I believe his exact words were,

"Any lemur who can't grind booty
to the floor is dead to me."

Yeah, that's what he said.

I assume there have
been other changes?

A few. Many. Dozens, actually.

I want to see them all!

This is King Julien's composting
and knitting spa. [Chuckles]

I'm making a tea cozy...
for my King Julien!

This is King Julien's
bungee jumping spa.

Whoa!

This is King Julien's
trampoline spa.

- I'm beginning to see a theme.
- Shall we continue on?

- No, I do not want to continue!
- [lemurs screaming]

Now, I know that you and I didn't
always get along, Clover...

You forbid me to speak
unless it was an emergency,

because you said that my
paranoia gave you gas.

Yes. But that was
then, and this is now.

Defenses down. Lemurs enjoying
themselves in broad daylight.

It can't be easy for you.

I won't lie, Your
Former Majesty.

Initially, it got
my fur in a twist.

Did some soul searching,
when that didn't work,

- beat up some random strangers.
- Ah!

Exactly! Fear is what motivates
people to do their best, not fun.

Well, that's not what I meant.

I mean, things aren't
running perfectly, but...

- Tear it down!
- I'm sorry... what?

I'll say it again, real slow.

Tear. It. Down.

[snarling]

[dance music plays]

- [panting]
- [grunting]

- [panting]
- [laughs]

Who knew being a foosa
could be so much fun?

Let me think. Oh, yeah, no one!

[Julien] Aw, come on, Maurice.
Get into it.

We are shaping
homicidal minds here.

[Maurice] You mean the
same homicidal minds

that were attached
to homicidal jaws

that will soon be chompin'
on our sorry selves?

Uh, wow. Somebody woke up on the
wrong side of my butt this morning.

Your Majesty, don't you think
we should be trying find out

what the foosa are up to?
Their plan?

That is the reason we are here.

You are so impatient, Maurice.

Yes, that is why we are here, of course.
I haven't lost sight... Uh!

[groans] No! The hips
must swivel, not jerk.

- Work it, foosa, don't waste it.
- [Maurice grunting]

- [grunting]
- [howls]

[Maurice] What's
going on out there?

I think they want us to join
in on their foosa competitions.

- Oh, no!
- Oh, yes!

Time to show these
foosa how it's done.

[Julien grunting]

- Foosa, look! Lemurs!
- Huh? [Groans]

[grunting] Huh?

[Julien] Keep digging, Maurice!
You're doing great!

[snarling]

[howling]

[dance beat plays]

- [Julien howling]
- [all exclaiming, howling]

[cheering]

I am killing it, Maurice!

They've never seen
anything like me before!

Great. Hopefully then we can
find out what they are planning.

Uh, Your Majesty, is something...
nuzzling us?

[purring]

[Julien] It's just a girl foosa.

At least, I think it's a girl.

- Wait, I know that sound.
- [foosa purring]

- Oh, no. No!
- [Julien] Maurice, this is amazing.

I believe I am taking part in
some sort of foosa mating ritual!

There's no "I" here right now!

This is most definitely
an "us" situation!

- I'm in here too, remember?
- Is someone jealous?

Ooh! I think she's about
to pay you some attention.

King Julien, stop her
right now before...

- [foosa sniffing]
- Before that happens.

[purring]

Maurice, do you realize
if I play this right,

I could start a
whole new species.

A creature with my looks
and style and intelligence

that is also capable of
devouring me in seconds.

[laughs] Suck on
that, immortality!

[lemurs groaning]

- You're kidding me.
- Come on!

Gimme a break, huh?
I'm just doing my job.

[sobbing]

Cut it out, Mort.

I'm sure Uncle King Julien
knows what he's doing.

[Mort sobbing
loudly] No, no, no!

Mort! Don't you dare lay a
single cheek on that slide.

Try and stop me, enemy of fun!
Fun traitor!

Take that back! I love danger.

Fun leads to danger.
Therefore, I love fun.

I mean... obvious!

- I don't believe you!
- Oh, yeah? [Grunts]

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Yeah! Uh!

[gasps]

You see that? I can have fun!
I can have...

[gasps] I just had fun, and...
it wasn't that bad.

One of us! One of us! Gooble
gobble, gooble... Ooh!

I can't believe I had fun. Me!
How could this happen?

[laughing]

I want to do it again!

What am I gonna do?

Clover, you're sweating like a bush pig.
What's wrong?

Wait a minute! Is
this jungle fever?

Hold still. I know a cure.

It's water. From the waterslide.
That I slid down.

And you know what... I liked it!

Did I not tell you to
shut down the waterslide?

Why on earth... Wait a minute.

Is this part of
the jungle fever?

Hold still. I have a cure.

It's not jungle fever!

No [chuckles]...
disrespect, Your Majesty,

but for the first time in a
long time, the kingdom is happy.

King Julien has made
this a better place.

Still needs a little work, but I intend
to honor his changes until he gets back.

You're wasting your breath!
He is not coming back!

- Oh!
- Say that again, real slow.

I don't want to miss a word.

[purring]

[Julien] Foosa like. Foosa you.

[purring]

So this is how it ends,
trapped inside a foosa suit

with a mad king who's fallen
in love with a lemur eater.

I suppose it could be worse.

[sobs] No, it couldn't!

[Julien purrs]

Hold that foosa thought.
I'll be right foosa back.

[Julien moaning]

What is wrong with you? You are
totally blowing my foosa mojo.

You've gone native,
Your Majesty!

No, Maurice, this
is all strategic:

Keep your friends close,
and mate with your enemies.

Hello! Soon this whole
foosa kingdom will be mine.

[Maurice] But you
already have a kingdom

and they're probably
lost without their king.

But they do have
a king, Maurice.

My uncle said he would
substitute king until I got back.

Substitute? Wait, your
uncle told you to do this?

Yeah. He's the one who told me
the foosa were planning big things

and that I should sneak into their
territory and get the skinny.

Foosa you. And foosa you.

- Foosa married.
- [purring]

Your Majesty, I think
your uncle set you up!

Uh-uh-uh! Not now, Maurice.
We're getting married!

- We're getting who now?
- I'm going to be a bride!

Or, a groom! What...
Either works!

Foosa I do!

[smacking kiss]

[Uncle King Julien moaning]

What is the point of this? He
was probably eaten hours ago.

Keep that up and I'm introducing
you to the twin sisters:

Laverne and Shirley.

Clover, come on.

Fear versus fun. The
choice is pretty obvious.

Sure is.

[Wedding March plays]

[Julien] You know, Maurice, ever
since I was a little prince lemur...

I was so cute... I've
dreamed of my wedding day.

It wasn't to a foosa, of course.

Do you remember Karen, the lemur
who lived in the tree next door

with the cute, misshapen paw?

I always thought it would be her.
I wonder where she is now.

Eaten. By a foosa, Your Majesty. Could
be the one you're about to marry.

Ironic. In a way, I'd
be marrying them both.

- Ha! It's win-win!
- Your Majesty, please.

Listen to reason!

Your uncle sent you on
this mission to get eaten

so he could reclaim the throne!

Maurice, is that just "wedding
envy" talk I'm hearing?

I'm not going to
let you do this.

[Julien] Uh, I think someone
is forgetting their place

back there in Buttsville!

[Maurice] That's it! I want out!

- [grunting]
- [laughs, blows nose]

- [grunts] Stay right where you are!
- No!

[grunting]

- Hm?
- Huh?

[grunting]

[indistinct shouting]

[straining]

[foosa] Huh?!

[grunts]

Oh... Oh!

[Julien] Maurice, you get back
inside me right now! Ah... Ah!

- Huh?
- Foosa eat doo-doo?

Foosa no!

Foosa disgusting!

[vomiting]

I can never un-see that.

That's the guy you want as king?

- Absolutely.
- Ooh!

Now just hold
still, Your Majesty.

[growling]

Uh... I think the
nuptials might be off.

If you are going to eat me,

I recommend you start
with the backside.

It is much juicier and
full of delicious marbling.

[Maurice] That's muscle!

[Clover] Hey, dummies!
Over here!

Who wants a delicious lemur
piñata, filled with gooey goodness?

Clover? What are you doing here?

- It's called rescuing my king.
- Huh?

- Huh?
- [growling]

Guys, there's some coming back!

- Stay close to me.
- Uh, yeah. Not gonna be a problem.

[growling]

[grunting]

- Oh!
- [foosa grunting]

- [snarling]
- [Clover] Come here, you!

- [Maurice laughing]
- Huh?

[howling in pain] Oof!

- [gagging]
- [whimpering]

So you're telling me this
whole thing was just a ruse

for Uncle King Julien
to reclaim his throne?

Maurice, you are my advisor.

Why is this the first
I am hearing of this?

[groans] Oy vey...

And you!

You chose me, Clover?

Don't let it go to your head. Do I
think a kingdom should be fun 24/7?

No. It's dangerous. But
living in fear is worse.

And... admittedly,
for me, danger is fun.

So... [laughs] yeah.

Aw! I'm touched. Uh...

You're not getting a raise
or a better tree, though.

Anyone wanna take a turn?
My arms are getting tired.

Ooh! I'll go.

- [muffled shouting]
- [foosa snarling]

So what are we
gonna do with him?

Dude is not to be trusted.

Now Maurice, please,
he is still family.

And family always
deserves a second chance.

We shall give him a
chance at a new life!

Oh, my head is...
inside something.

No, this can't be happening!
Julien, what have you done?!

[screaming] Oh, no!