All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 2 - Poll Position - full transcript
King Julien learns that 99% of the lemurs love him, so he makes it his mission to find and convert his one "hater."
[dance music playing]
♪ Party ♪
- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ King who? ♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
Presenting Your Royal Highness,
our illustrious King Julien XIII,
who drove away the foosa and...
Do I really have to say this?
Yes, you do really
have to say this!
Taught us how to dance
like no one's watching
and love like we've never been
hurt, et cetera, et cetera.
- Hurray, everybody!
- [all cheering]
Delta Echo Foxtrot.
Perimeter's clear.
Booty-quake is taking the stage.
Repeat: Booty-quake is on the move.
Over.
- Who are you talking to?
- That's classified.
You don't even have a radio...
[yelling]
Roger that, we've got a
troublemaker causing a disturbance.
Bringing him in. Over.
[cheering continues]
Yay!
[cheering]
Listen to all the hand-clapping!
This is all I ever wanted:
To be adored by everybody.
People do seem to be
digging their new king.
Thank you, thank you.
I, your king, have decided that
in order to keep you all safe,
we need a really great navy.
I present to you, our fleet!
[buzzing]
I call her Old Porcelainsides.
Uh, she's a her because apparently
all boats are girls for some reason.
[crowd cheering]
I love you, I love
you, I love you!
[mimicking drumroll]
I hereby christen you,
Old Porcelainsides!
- [bottle vibrating]
- [Julien exclaims]
Put your paws together for the
captain of this fine vessel, Willie!
[cheering]
[Maurice] Come on, let's go.
Uh... are we sure this
ship is seaworthy?
Well, it's pee-worthy.
Believe it or not, that
was my next question.
[yelps]
[hollering]
[whimpering]
Yes, being king is so easy.
I don't know why
everybody doesn't do it.
Well, it's not all fun and games.
You have responsibilities now.
[giggling] "Responsibilities."
Good one, Maurice!
[laughing]
[laughing] Good one! That's a good one!
I love it!
- Why are we laughing?
- I'm serious.
You're supposed to be catching
up on current events right now.
Current events?
[music playing]
Good afternoon. As always, I'm
Xixi, and this is your news.
Mango lovers across
the island rejoice.
The recent rainfall should mean a
great mango harvest this season.
Come on, give me the good stuff.
- Moving on to local gossip.
- Finally!
Sources saw Pancho looking cozy as
he canoodled with a new mystery lady.
- Is love in the air?
- I sure hope so!
- Pancho needs it!
- [chuckling]
And in politics, the
latest polling numbers
find King Julien's
popularity soaring.
Ooh, "soaring" is a goodly thing
for my popularity to be doing.
I loved him first and I love
him forever-ever-ever-ever!
[continues, muffled]
[crashing]
In a recent survey, over
99 percent of the public
approve of the job
the new king is doing.
Huh?
Hey, that's great!
The big nine-nine!
Up top, both hands!
Don't leave a lemur hanging.
[chuckles]
Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Wait, what did I say?
- Yeah, what's wrong?
[moaning loudly] Do
you not see, Maurice?
This glass is not half full,
it is one percent empty.
Ninety-nine percent full is
actually a lot better than half.
Eh-eh, your so-called
"numbers" and "reason"
and "understanding of
math" are of no comfort
when there are lemurs
who do not like me.
Lemur. As far as I can
tell, there's only one.
You hear that? Just one.
Big deal.
Everybody else likes you!
[Clover] You're the king. Just
make it illegal not to like you.
And I will happily
enforce that law.
I can't wait to see
the fear in their eyes
as they lie about how
great they think you are.
Ooh, I can make a law like that?
No. Well, I guess, yeah.
But you shouldn't.
Everybody... and, again, by
"everybody" I mean one lemur...
Will come around eventually.
Unless the one holdout recruits
more lemurs to his side.
This could be the
start of a revolution.
Think about it.
- The gnashing teeth. The blind rage.
- [yelling]
We need to stamp this thing out now!
[panting]
How long was I out? I
didn't hurt anyone, did I?
Yeah, instead of worrying
about one disgruntled citizen,
why not focus on all
the stuff you do have:
A great kingdom, and an
abundant supply of food...
Me! Hey!
Like I was saying, you
got a lot going for you.
And don't forget
that great new ship.
[Willie screams] I'm sinking.
Oh, no! Sharks!
Oh, oh! Wait, they're...
they're just dolphins!
- [dolphins chittering]
- [Willie screams]
Really aggressive dolphins!
[groans] This is literally
the worst thing of all time
that has happened to me ever.
Oh, I would've assumed it was having
half your family eaten by the foosa.
Ha-ha! Good one, Xixi.
But we all know they
were sent away to a farm.
[clearing throat loudly] Yeah.
Hey, I've got something
that'll make you feel better.
- Check it out.
- Oh, fruit on a stick!
I feel so much better, Maurice!
It's a visual aid
I put together.
I call it the "Kumquat-ometer."
The pole is the kingdom,
and these kumquats are all the citizens
who like you and the job you're doing.
See? Filled all
the way to the top.
No. It is short the one
kumquat who does not like me.
If I truly have a hater, you have
to tell me who it is. Please!
Before you were the most
trusted toucan in news,
you were my most trusted
toucan in friendship.
Oh, yes, we do go
pretty far back.
Which is all the more reason for
you to do what I want you to do
instead of what
you think is right.
Oh, I'm sorry but I've
gotta protect my sources.
If they don't trust me, the
info pipeline's all dried up.
Yes, there's no reason
for me to be worked up
or to make a big, huge,
giant deal about this.
- Masikura!
- Yes, Your Majesty?
Use your lizard psychic tongue
to get inside Xixi's mind
- and tell me what's inside it!
- Oh, no, I couldn't.
There are nine
kinds of ethical...
[shrieks]
[yelping]
Please stop, please stop!
Please don't!
[gibbering]
Grape jelly, a funnel,
a pair of women's shoes?
- What did I just see?
- It was Spring Break, OK?
[Xixi yelling]
[grunting]
Come on. Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on!
No can do. Sorry.
I'll be in touch.
King Julien, you're safe...
for now.
- May I have a word with you?
- Eh?
I've begun doing a little
recon, and just as I feared,
we're looking at a
real security issue.
[Maurice] Oh, come on!
Because of one unhappy lemur?
This is a private
intelligence briefing.
This thing's not soundproof.
How private can it be?
He's gonna tell me
everything later anyway.
True dat. I'm really
bad at keeping secrets.
As I was saying,
it starts as one.
But one bad mango can
poison the entire kingdom.
That's a big, bad mango.
Pretty soon, you're losing
support left and right
and looking at a
full-scale bloody uprising.
Best-case scenario.
That's the best-case scenario?
What's the worst?
You don't want to know.
Trust me.
That's why I need to interrogate
every lemur in the kingdom.
Interrogating everyone
will cause a panic.
Back me up, King Julien.
You're doing eenie, meenie, miney,
mo in your head, aren't you?
Mo! I mean, no.
But if I were, I would
have landed on Clover.
You may go investigate to see if
anyone wants to uprise all over me.
On it! [Yelling]
You really believe
there's an uprising?
Couldn't hurt to be safe.
Super embarrassing to get
assassinated my first week on the job.
In the meantime, we should get
a small group of average lemurs
and ask them what they think.
That's... actually
not an awful idea.
And I get to wear a disguise!
Now it's awful.
First off, thank
you all for coming.
[chuckles] I'm
gonna jump right in.
Now, if you could improve
one thing about the kingdom,
what would it be, specifically?
You, sir.
Well, if I had to pick one specific
thing, I'd probably say... nothing.
Hey, that's great! How many
people are happy overall
with how the new king's
been doing so far?
Hard to do worse than
the last few idiots.
OK, Hector, I'll go on ahead
and put you down for "happy."
[laughing]
Oy vey.
[disguising voice] Hello, hello. Sorry
I'm late. Uh, traffic was a nightmare.
Uh, what are we talking about? Our
favorite things about King Julien?
OK! Uh, let's go around the
room and, uh... spitball.
Uh, there are no wrong answers.
I can't be the only
one who notices
this is just King Julien
with a bad fake moustache.
What? I wish I was King Julien!
I'm just an average everyday
lemur, whose name is...
Chair... Lemur... Table.
Yep, Chair Lemur-table.
That's me.
Nope, we're not doing this.
Wait, nobody wants to stay and, uh,
chew the fat with Chair Lemur-table?
- [groans]
- It's me, Maurice!
[laughing] This is
not my real moustache!
Wow, I can't believe my eyes.
So I think that
went pretty great.
Really? We didn't get
past the first question.
Yes, but don't you see?
The one-percenter, the one we've
been looking for, it's Hector!
Hmm. He does seem to hate pretty
much everything and everyone.
Now all I have to do is convince
a lemur who hates everything
that he likes me. It
almost seems too easy.
The truth is out there!
And when I find it, I'm
gonna make it beg for mercy!
- Knock, knock!
- [Hector yelling] Oh!
Who's there? It's
me, King Julien!
What is it now?
Getting right down to business.
Nice.
I wanted to stop by and say it was
great seeing you earlier, buddy.
Two friends like us should
check in on each other,
make sure we're having a good day
and that we both like me a lot.
Day's fine. See you.
Oh, Hector, I love the way
we joke with each other.
Always with the fun
times and the laughing.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, see?
I'm doing it right now.
- Doesn't that feel good?
- Nope.
You have a lovely place.
- What is this you're building?
- My masterpiece.
It's taken me over a year,
but I'm almost finished.
Good talk. There's the door.
I am very good with my paws.
You know, there is a nobility
in the act of creating.
The world would be
a much better place
if everybody made art
and nobody worked.
[shrieking, blowing]
[Hector yelling]
I think that went great.
The witch doctors are pretty
sure he'll make a full recovery.
[gasps]
[groaning]
Mmm!
- Yum.
- [gasps]
But... How can... Why...
[gasping]
[screaming]
Eighty-three percent approval?
How is it getting worse?
That is the opposite
of what I am wanting!
Hector has a large
family, honey.
They aren't your
biggest fans right now.
But, hey, 83 percent!
That's still huge.
Up top!
I don't even know why I try.
On the bright side, at least now we
know Hector was the one-percenter.
And we know we're never
ever gonna change his mind
so we can now move on with
our ever-loving lives.
Uh, actually, Hector refused
to answer the question.
He's clean. And I checked him out
all the way back to his ancestors.
- What's up with all this?
- This is the start of a rebellion.
I told you all it takes is one.
And now, these new poll numbers?
By my calculations,
we're looking at a
full-on conspiracy.
Don't do that thing
with the eye again.
Ooh, a conspiracy!
That sounds so
dangerous and exciting!
- And overblown, and paranoid.
- Yes, exactly!
Keep up the good work, Clover.
Thank you, and on it!
- Is she always like this?
- She's usually worse, baby.
On to much importanter issues.
It's been brought to my attention
by my own brain just now
that we need to do something
for the 17 percentage
who don't like me to let
them know I am on their side.
I don't know, Your Majesty, maybe
we should just let this blow over.
Yeah, that sounds
a lot like waiting.
The problem is
annoying me right now!
I guess it couldn't hurt to do something
simple that plays to your strengths.
Yes, my boyish good looks.
My mind-blowing dance moves.
Yeah. My double-jointed thumb.
Check it. Eh? Eh?
- [thumb cracks]
- Ow! Too far! Too far!
Maurice, don't you see what the
problem with your first idea was?
- It was actually your idea.
- I was hiding,
instead of being in
front and center.
I need to make a real connection
with my adoring subjects
and show them that I am a simple
down-to-earth lemur of the people.
Now, go get my tuxedo!
[crowd cheering]
- King Julien!
- Yeah! All right!
Hello, loyal
subjects and fanboys.
I, King Julien, would like to make
a personal connection with you
by kissing your offsprings.
And listening to your opinions
because I "value" them.
Eh, now bring to me the
low-hanging fruits of your loins!
[baby crying]
This is actually
going pretty good.
I know. I am like a
genius of baby-kissing!
This is so easy!
- Here you go.
- Keep it going. They're loving it.
Ahh! Everything I
imagined it would be.
Mort! I am busy winning
everyone's approval.
Well, you've got my vote, Mr. President.
[giggling, yelps]
I'll never wash
this forehead again!
- [gasping]
- No!
[lemur] Eww, the king
just kicked a baby!
Ah! No. No, no!
That was no baby!
That was an annoying,
little weirdo!
[lemur 2] He just called
that baby a weirdo!
[lemur] The king hates babies!
[groaning, gulps]
Eating my weight in
kumquats was my dream job.
[belching]
The dream has
become a nightmare.
Why does he have to eat
all the kumquats again?
Because it's the only thing that
brings me joy anymore, that's why.
[Julien sighs] Ever since
I was a little lemur boy,
people have always liked me.
"That adorable child has
star quality," they'd say.
"My own child is a disappointment
next to how likable little Julien is."
Is it too much to ask for my citizens
to like me as much as I like them?
Oh, here I am, doing all the talking.
You're welcome to jump in.
Is Clover right?
Is there a bad mango
poisoning everything?
Let us be honest, is there even
such a thing as a bad mango?
What kind of weirdo
doesn't love mangos?
Is that the point
you are making?
That if I give mangos to
everyone, they'll be all,
"Hey, check out the free mangos!
Great job, King Julien!
We like you, buddy!"
Amelia, you are more
than just a pretty face!
[Clover] Icepick. Fat Carmine.
Skinny Carmine. Vinnie Tickles.
And The Yam-burglar.
Think, Clover, think! It's all
right there in front of you.
You just... You have
to connect the dots.
It can't be.
[sighing] Guess I still have
a few more dots to connect.
[Julien] My idea is brilliant.
There should be a word for giving
people things to win their approval.
- You mean, bribery?
- Bribery. Ooh!
Sounds so noble.
Uh, Mort, have you collected
all the mangos for the bribery?
I have collected them!
And I saved the sweetest
one for you, King Julien.
Oh!
[laughing]
[grunts]
[snoring]
- I should wake her up.
- I wouldn't.
- [grunting]
- I killed the king!
[groaning] Oh, no. But... But
I can't feel my... anything.
Oh! Sorry, I've been
up for two days.
My mind is free from
mundane distractions.
I love how dangerous
I feel right now!
Would you like to
hear what I've found?
- OK, sure!
- Go right ahead.
I started with the simple idea
that everyone's a suspect.
From there... I can tell
if somebody's lying.
Her mouth was saying, "Yes," but
her twitchy eye was saying, "Maybe."
That, my friends, was a game-changer!
It's always the quiet ones, you know?
Just... Just...
[exclaiming] And I'm all...
[vocalizing conflict]
A bigger conspiracy?
The New World Order?
The Old World Order?
So, in conclusion,
- I've learned that the hater...
- [all] Eh?
- The one-percenter...
- [all] Eh?
The citizen who truly has
it out for King Julien is...
[all] Eh??
- That's all I got so far.
- [all groaning]
Uh, you really need to
get some rest, girl.
You're sounding a little...
cuckoo, cuckoo!
[giggling] Bird noises.
Yeah, can't we just call off
the investigation and move on?
But I'm so close to
solving this thing!
Give me one more day. Please.
- Yeah, knock yourself out.
- On it!
[yelling, grunts]
[groaning]
Let us bribery the
kingdom with mangos!
- [dance music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
- [grunts] Hey!
- The king's A-OK with me!
[grumbling] Like mangos are
gonna help the situation.
He's a strong leader I
can really get behind!
It is raining mangos! Hallelujah!
[laughs]
Mort! Go long, buddy!
[panting]
Oh!
I can't believe King
Julien convinced me
to go out in this stupid,
leaky, potty boat.
He's the worst!
Sweet mango!
You're the best, King J!
- [all chanting] Julien! Julien! Julien!
- See? You were worried for nothing.
- I told you they like you.
- Uh, I got some bad news.
Looks like we're just
about out of mangos.
Well, maybe they've had
enough mangos already.
More mangos! More mangos!
More mangos!
More mangos! More mangos!
More mangos!
OK, OK. Be patient.
Everyone will get a mango.
You know that's not true!
Shh! Maurice, it's
called stalling.
[tree creaking]
Fellas, I'm not sure this tree is
going to hold much more weight.
Oh, you worry too much.
[yelping]
OK, maybe you worry
the correct amount.
Folks, we need
everyone to back up.
- [giggling] Oh!
- [all yelling]
- Uh-oh.
- [gasping]
[yelling]
[crowd gasping]
Yes, yes! Look at me! I
have saved this mango!
I think they're a little more
impressed you saved a baby!
Oh, but that is ridiculous, Maurice!
You can't even eat a baby!
[yelps] Yes, yes. Love me!
The savior of this
adorable, little mango!
And also a baby, I guess.
[laughing]
Everybody loves you again.
You're back on top.
I have learned a
valuable lesson today.
You realized the
folks closest to you
are the ones whose
opinions really matter?
I was going to say I learned any
time things are going bad for me,
I can publicly
rescue a small child.
But maybe you're right.
Besides, what do I care about
one dummy who doesn't like me?
I bet I like that dummy even less.
[laughs] I'm over it!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's it?
You're over it?
But what about my investigation?
I can easily make up
for the one hater.
I'll just have to love
myself twice as much.
Maurice, make sure that's
reflected in my schedule.
- But I haven't solved the case yet.
- I know.
But I've totally lost
interest, so who cares now?
[sighing]
[Mort straining]
- [Clover] Hold on a minute, Mort.
- [stammering] Me?
All the clues pointed to
you, but it didn't add up.
I thought I was cracking
under the pressure,
thought I was going crazy.
- Well, um...
- Why'd you do it, Mort?
Why'd you say you
don't like King Julien?
I don't like King Julien!
I love him! [Giggling]
♪ Party ♪
- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Who's the king?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
- ♪ King who? ♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪
♪ Tonight will be forever ♪
♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪
♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪
♪ All hail King Julien! ♪
Presenting Your Royal Highness,
our illustrious King Julien XIII,
who drove away the foosa and...
Do I really have to say this?
Yes, you do really
have to say this!
Taught us how to dance
like no one's watching
and love like we've never been
hurt, et cetera, et cetera.
- Hurray, everybody!
- [all cheering]
Delta Echo Foxtrot.
Perimeter's clear.
Booty-quake is taking the stage.
Repeat: Booty-quake is on the move.
Over.
- Who are you talking to?
- That's classified.
You don't even have a radio...
[yelling]
Roger that, we've got a
troublemaker causing a disturbance.
Bringing him in. Over.
[cheering continues]
Yay!
[cheering]
Listen to all the hand-clapping!
This is all I ever wanted:
To be adored by everybody.
People do seem to be
digging their new king.
Thank you, thank you.
I, your king, have decided that
in order to keep you all safe,
we need a really great navy.
I present to you, our fleet!
[buzzing]
I call her Old Porcelainsides.
Uh, she's a her because apparently
all boats are girls for some reason.
[crowd cheering]
I love you, I love
you, I love you!
[mimicking drumroll]
I hereby christen you,
Old Porcelainsides!
- [bottle vibrating]
- [Julien exclaims]
Put your paws together for the
captain of this fine vessel, Willie!
[cheering]
[Maurice] Come on, let's go.
Uh... are we sure this
ship is seaworthy?
Well, it's pee-worthy.
Believe it or not, that
was my next question.
[yelps]
[hollering]
[whimpering]
Yes, being king is so easy.
I don't know why
everybody doesn't do it.
Well, it's not all fun and games.
You have responsibilities now.
[giggling] "Responsibilities."
Good one, Maurice!
[laughing]
[laughing] Good one! That's a good one!
I love it!
- Why are we laughing?
- I'm serious.
You're supposed to be catching
up on current events right now.
Current events?
[music playing]
Good afternoon. As always, I'm
Xixi, and this is your news.
Mango lovers across
the island rejoice.
The recent rainfall should mean a
great mango harvest this season.
Come on, give me the good stuff.
- Moving on to local gossip.
- Finally!
Sources saw Pancho looking cozy as
he canoodled with a new mystery lady.
- Is love in the air?
- I sure hope so!
- Pancho needs it!
- [chuckling]
And in politics, the
latest polling numbers
find King Julien's
popularity soaring.
Ooh, "soaring" is a goodly thing
for my popularity to be doing.
I loved him first and I love
him forever-ever-ever-ever!
[continues, muffled]
[crashing]
In a recent survey, over
99 percent of the public
approve of the job
the new king is doing.
Huh?
Hey, that's great!
The big nine-nine!
Up top, both hands!
Don't leave a lemur hanging.
[chuckles]
Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Wait, what did I say?
- Yeah, what's wrong?
[moaning loudly] Do
you not see, Maurice?
This glass is not half full,
it is one percent empty.
Ninety-nine percent full is
actually a lot better than half.
Eh-eh, your so-called
"numbers" and "reason"
and "understanding of
math" are of no comfort
when there are lemurs
who do not like me.
Lemur. As far as I can
tell, there's only one.
You hear that? Just one.
Big deal.
Everybody else likes you!
[Clover] You're the king. Just
make it illegal not to like you.
And I will happily
enforce that law.
I can't wait to see
the fear in their eyes
as they lie about how
great they think you are.
Ooh, I can make a law like that?
No. Well, I guess, yeah.
But you shouldn't.
Everybody... and, again, by
"everybody" I mean one lemur...
Will come around eventually.
Unless the one holdout recruits
more lemurs to his side.
This could be the
start of a revolution.
Think about it.
- The gnashing teeth. The blind rage.
- [yelling]
We need to stamp this thing out now!
[panting]
How long was I out? I
didn't hurt anyone, did I?
Yeah, instead of worrying
about one disgruntled citizen,
why not focus on all
the stuff you do have:
A great kingdom, and an
abundant supply of food...
Me! Hey!
Like I was saying, you
got a lot going for you.
And don't forget
that great new ship.
[Willie screams] I'm sinking.
Oh, no! Sharks!
Oh, oh! Wait, they're...
they're just dolphins!
- [dolphins chittering]
- [Willie screams]
Really aggressive dolphins!
[groans] This is literally
the worst thing of all time
that has happened to me ever.
Oh, I would've assumed it was having
half your family eaten by the foosa.
Ha-ha! Good one, Xixi.
But we all know they
were sent away to a farm.
[clearing throat loudly] Yeah.
Hey, I've got something
that'll make you feel better.
- Check it out.
- Oh, fruit on a stick!
I feel so much better, Maurice!
It's a visual aid
I put together.
I call it the "Kumquat-ometer."
The pole is the kingdom,
and these kumquats are all the citizens
who like you and the job you're doing.
See? Filled all
the way to the top.
No. It is short the one
kumquat who does not like me.
If I truly have a hater, you have
to tell me who it is. Please!
Before you were the most
trusted toucan in news,
you were my most trusted
toucan in friendship.
Oh, yes, we do go
pretty far back.
Which is all the more reason for
you to do what I want you to do
instead of what
you think is right.
Oh, I'm sorry but I've
gotta protect my sources.
If they don't trust me, the
info pipeline's all dried up.
Yes, there's no reason
for me to be worked up
or to make a big, huge,
giant deal about this.
- Masikura!
- Yes, Your Majesty?
Use your lizard psychic tongue
to get inside Xixi's mind
- and tell me what's inside it!
- Oh, no, I couldn't.
There are nine
kinds of ethical...
[shrieks]
[yelping]
Please stop, please stop!
Please don't!
[gibbering]
Grape jelly, a funnel,
a pair of women's shoes?
- What did I just see?
- It was Spring Break, OK?
[Xixi yelling]
[grunting]
Come on. Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on!
No can do. Sorry.
I'll be in touch.
King Julien, you're safe...
for now.
- May I have a word with you?
- Eh?
I've begun doing a little
recon, and just as I feared,
we're looking at a
real security issue.
[Maurice] Oh, come on!
Because of one unhappy lemur?
This is a private
intelligence briefing.
This thing's not soundproof.
How private can it be?
He's gonna tell me
everything later anyway.
True dat. I'm really
bad at keeping secrets.
As I was saying,
it starts as one.
But one bad mango can
poison the entire kingdom.
That's a big, bad mango.
Pretty soon, you're losing
support left and right
and looking at a
full-scale bloody uprising.
Best-case scenario.
That's the best-case scenario?
What's the worst?
You don't want to know.
Trust me.
That's why I need to interrogate
every lemur in the kingdom.
Interrogating everyone
will cause a panic.
Back me up, King Julien.
You're doing eenie, meenie, miney,
mo in your head, aren't you?
Mo! I mean, no.
But if I were, I would
have landed on Clover.
You may go investigate to see if
anyone wants to uprise all over me.
On it! [Yelling]
You really believe
there's an uprising?
Couldn't hurt to be safe.
Super embarrassing to get
assassinated my first week on the job.
In the meantime, we should get
a small group of average lemurs
and ask them what they think.
That's... actually
not an awful idea.
And I get to wear a disguise!
Now it's awful.
First off, thank
you all for coming.
[chuckles] I'm
gonna jump right in.
Now, if you could improve
one thing about the kingdom,
what would it be, specifically?
You, sir.
Well, if I had to pick one specific
thing, I'd probably say... nothing.
Hey, that's great! How many
people are happy overall
with how the new king's
been doing so far?
Hard to do worse than
the last few idiots.
OK, Hector, I'll go on ahead
and put you down for "happy."
[laughing]
Oy vey.
[disguising voice] Hello, hello. Sorry
I'm late. Uh, traffic was a nightmare.
Uh, what are we talking about? Our
favorite things about King Julien?
OK! Uh, let's go around the
room and, uh... spitball.
Uh, there are no wrong answers.
I can't be the only
one who notices
this is just King Julien
with a bad fake moustache.
What? I wish I was King Julien!
I'm just an average everyday
lemur, whose name is...
Chair... Lemur... Table.
Yep, Chair Lemur-table.
That's me.
Nope, we're not doing this.
Wait, nobody wants to stay and, uh,
chew the fat with Chair Lemur-table?
- [groans]
- It's me, Maurice!
[laughing] This is
not my real moustache!
Wow, I can't believe my eyes.
So I think that
went pretty great.
Really? We didn't get
past the first question.
Yes, but don't you see?
The one-percenter, the one we've
been looking for, it's Hector!
Hmm. He does seem to hate pretty
much everything and everyone.
Now all I have to do is convince
a lemur who hates everything
that he likes me. It
almost seems too easy.
The truth is out there!
And when I find it, I'm
gonna make it beg for mercy!
- Knock, knock!
- [Hector yelling] Oh!
Who's there? It's
me, King Julien!
What is it now?
Getting right down to business.
Nice.
I wanted to stop by and say it was
great seeing you earlier, buddy.
Two friends like us should
check in on each other,
make sure we're having a good day
and that we both like me a lot.
Day's fine. See you.
Oh, Hector, I love the way
we joke with each other.
Always with the fun
times and the laughing.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, see?
I'm doing it right now.
- Doesn't that feel good?
- Nope.
You have a lovely place.
- What is this you're building?
- My masterpiece.
It's taken me over a year,
but I'm almost finished.
Good talk. There's the door.
I am very good with my paws.
You know, there is a nobility
in the act of creating.
The world would be
a much better place
if everybody made art
and nobody worked.
[shrieking, blowing]
[Hector yelling]
I think that went great.
The witch doctors are pretty
sure he'll make a full recovery.
[gasps]
[groaning]
Mmm!
- Yum.
- [gasps]
But... How can... Why...
[gasping]
[screaming]
Eighty-three percent approval?
How is it getting worse?
That is the opposite
of what I am wanting!
Hector has a large
family, honey.
They aren't your
biggest fans right now.
But, hey, 83 percent!
That's still huge.
Up top!
I don't even know why I try.
On the bright side, at least now we
know Hector was the one-percenter.
And we know we're never
ever gonna change his mind
so we can now move on with
our ever-loving lives.
Uh, actually, Hector refused
to answer the question.
He's clean. And I checked him out
all the way back to his ancestors.
- What's up with all this?
- This is the start of a rebellion.
I told you all it takes is one.
And now, these new poll numbers?
By my calculations,
we're looking at a
full-on conspiracy.
Don't do that thing
with the eye again.
Ooh, a conspiracy!
That sounds so
dangerous and exciting!
- And overblown, and paranoid.
- Yes, exactly!
Keep up the good work, Clover.
Thank you, and on it!
- Is she always like this?
- She's usually worse, baby.
On to much importanter issues.
It's been brought to my attention
by my own brain just now
that we need to do something
for the 17 percentage
who don't like me to let
them know I am on their side.
I don't know, Your Majesty, maybe
we should just let this blow over.
Yeah, that sounds
a lot like waiting.
The problem is
annoying me right now!
I guess it couldn't hurt to do something
simple that plays to your strengths.
Yes, my boyish good looks.
My mind-blowing dance moves.
Yeah. My double-jointed thumb.
Check it. Eh? Eh?
- [thumb cracks]
- Ow! Too far! Too far!
Maurice, don't you see what the
problem with your first idea was?
- It was actually your idea.
- I was hiding,
instead of being in
front and center.
I need to make a real connection
with my adoring subjects
and show them that I am a simple
down-to-earth lemur of the people.
Now, go get my tuxedo!
[crowd cheering]
- King Julien!
- Yeah! All right!
Hello, loyal
subjects and fanboys.
I, King Julien, would like to make
a personal connection with you
by kissing your offsprings.
And listening to your opinions
because I "value" them.
Eh, now bring to me the
low-hanging fruits of your loins!
[baby crying]
This is actually
going pretty good.
I know. I am like a
genius of baby-kissing!
This is so easy!
- Here you go.
- Keep it going. They're loving it.
Ahh! Everything I
imagined it would be.
Mort! I am busy winning
everyone's approval.
Well, you've got my vote, Mr. President.
[giggling, yelps]
I'll never wash
this forehead again!
- [gasping]
- No!
[lemur] Eww, the king
just kicked a baby!
Ah! No. No, no!
That was no baby!
That was an annoying,
little weirdo!
[lemur 2] He just called
that baby a weirdo!
[lemur] The king hates babies!
[groaning, gulps]
Eating my weight in
kumquats was my dream job.
[belching]
The dream has
become a nightmare.
Why does he have to eat
all the kumquats again?
Because it's the only thing that
brings me joy anymore, that's why.
[Julien sighs] Ever since
I was a little lemur boy,
people have always liked me.
"That adorable child has
star quality," they'd say.
"My own child is a disappointment
next to how likable little Julien is."
Is it too much to ask for my citizens
to like me as much as I like them?
Oh, here I am, doing all the talking.
You're welcome to jump in.
Is Clover right?
Is there a bad mango
poisoning everything?
Let us be honest, is there even
such a thing as a bad mango?
What kind of weirdo
doesn't love mangos?
Is that the point
you are making?
That if I give mangos to
everyone, they'll be all,
"Hey, check out the free mangos!
Great job, King Julien!
We like you, buddy!"
Amelia, you are more
than just a pretty face!
[Clover] Icepick. Fat Carmine.
Skinny Carmine. Vinnie Tickles.
And The Yam-burglar.
Think, Clover, think! It's all
right there in front of you.
You just... You have
to connect the dots.
It can't be.
[sighing] Guess I still have
a few more dots to connect.
[Julien] My idea is brilliant.
There should be a word for giving
people things to win their approval.
- You mean, bribery?
- Bribery. Ooh!
Sounds so noble.
Uh, Mort, have you collected
all the mangos for the bribery?
I have collected them!
And I saved the sweetest
one for you, King Julien.
Oh!
[laughing]
[grunts]
[snoring]
- I should wake her up.
- I wouldn't.
- [grunting]
- I killed the king!
[groaning] Oh, no. But... But
I can't feel my... anything.
Oh! Sorry, I've been
up for two days.
My mind is free from
mundane distractions.
I love how dangerous
I feel right now!
Would you like to
hear what I've found?
- OK, sure!
- Go right ahead.
I started with the simple idea
that everyone's a suspect.
From there... I can tell
if somebody's lying.
Her mouth was saying, "Yes," but
her twitchy eye was saying, "Maybe."
That, my friends, was a game-changer!
It's always the quiet ones, you know?
Just... Just...
[exclaiming] And I'm all...
[vocalizing conflict]
A bigger conspiracy?
The New World Order?
The Old World Order?
So, in conclusion,
- I've learned that the hater...
- [all] Eh?
- The one-percenter...
- [all] Eh?
The citizen who truly has
it out for King Julien is...
[all] Eh??
- That's all I got so far.
- [all groaning]
Uh, you really need to
get some rest, girl.
You're sounding a little...
cuckoo, cuckoo!
[giggling] Bird noises.
Yeah, can't we just call off
the investigation and move on?
But I'm so close to
solving this thing!
Give me one more day. Please.
- Yeah, knock yourself out.
- On it!
[yelling, grunts]
[groaning]
Let us bribery the
kingdom with mangos!
- [dance music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
- [grunts] Hey!
- The king's A-OK with me!
[grumbling] Like mangos are
gonna help the situation.
He's a strong leader I
can really get behind!
It is raining mangos! Hallelujah!
[laughs]
Mort! Go long, buddy!
[panting]
Oh!
I can't believe King
Julien convinced me
to go out in this stupid,
leaky, potty boat.
He's the worst!
Sweet mango!
You're the best, King J!
- [all chanting] Julien! Julien! Julien!
- See? You were worried for nothing.
- I told you they like you.
- Uh, I got some bad news.
Looks like we're just
about out of mangos.
Well, maybe they've had
enough mangos already.
More mangos! More mangos!
More mangos!
More mangos! More mangos!
More mangos!
OK, OK. Be patient.
Everyone will get a mango.
You know that's not true!
Shh! Maurice, it's
called stalling.
[tree creaking]
Fellas, I'm not sure this tree is
going to hold much more weight.
Oh, you worry too much.
[yelping]
OK, maybe you worry
the correct amount.
Folks, we need
everyone to back up.
- [giggling] Oh!
- [all yelling]
- Uh-oh.
- [gasping]
[yelling]
[crowd gasping]
Yes, yes! Look at me! I
have saved this mango!
I think they're a little more
impressed you saved a baby!
Oh, but that is ridiculous, Maurice!
You can't even eat a baby!
[yelps] Yes, yes. Love me!
The savior of this
adorable, little mango!
And also a baby, I guess.
[laughing]
Everybody loves you again.
You're back on top.
I have learned a
valuable lesson today.
You realized the
folks closest to you
are the ones whose
opinions really matter?
I was going to say I learned any
time things are going bad for me,
I can publicly
rescue a small child.
But maybe you're right.
Besides, what do I care about
one dummy who doesn't like me?
I bet I like that dummy even less.
[laughs] I'm over it!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's it?
You're over it?
But what about my investigation?
I can easily make up
for the one hater.
I'll just have to love
myself twice as much.
Maurice, make sure that's
reflected in my schedule.
- But I haven't solved the case yet.
- I know.
But I've totally lost
interest, so who cares now?
[sighing]
[Mort straining]
- [Clover] Hold on a minute, Mort.
- [stammering] Me?
All the clues pointed to
you, but it didn't add up.
I thought I was cracking
under the pressure,
thought I was going crazy.
- Well, um...
- Why'd you do it, Mort?
Why'd you say you
don't like King Julien?
I don't like King Julien!
I love him! [Giggling]