All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 1 - King Me - full transcript

Transcripts by Siban, sync by Skullscream.

Party! Who's the king?
King Julien!

Who's the king?
King Julien!

Get down further, get down.
Everybody party with King who?

King Julien!
King who?
King Julien!

Tonight will be forever.
Let's do King Julien style.

Wohhh, woh.

Y'all tell me who's the king?

Wohhh, woh.

All hail King Julien.

King Julien!



I wanna dance...

I wanna move...

I wanna dance. Oh, ooh.

I wanna groove.

Yeah. It's show time!

What's up, my peoples?

No, your eyes aren't goin' crazy.
It's me.

King Julien.

And Maurice, of course.

Hello.
-Sup?

Ah, cheer up, you fuzzy pumpkin.

It's a party, for me.

I'm the king.
Can I hear some noises?

We have to run, your Majesty.



It's not safe.

King Julien does not run.

I got this.
-Huh?

Prince Julien!

Prince Julien, wake up!

Prince Julien!
Prince Julien, wake up!

We have a meeting with your uncle,
the king, in an hour.

Dance party at the baobab tree!

What'd you say? What?
Why wasn't I invited?

Wait, there's no dance party, is there?

Of course not.
You had the dream again, didn't you?

Yes, it's always the same.

I am the most awesome king ever, Maurice,

and then I wake up and see you.

Maybe some day that dream will come true.

Please. We'd have to pry the crown
from my uncle's, cold dead head.

And even then, he probably
wouldn't give it to you.

Well, you gotta give the guy credit.
He has kept us safe.

But through fear, Maurice.

The fossa threat is, like, majorly

exaggerated.

They ate half the kingdom last year.

And left the other half
perfectly fine.

What am I always saying?

"Do these toenails make me look fat?"

Yes. Wait, no.

That is, well. But also:

I don't want to survive, Maurice.

I want to live.

And this is not living.

(KEEP QUIET)

(I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP)

(SHHH!)

(I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP)

Masikura.

Yes, your Majesty?

Holy forehead.
All right.

I'm ready for my psychic reading.

Got a real good feeling about this one.

Your Majesty, I'm sorry.

The prophecy is very clear.

The king of the lemurs will be eaten by… the fossa!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
By sundown, tomorrow. I know all that.

Are you sure the sky gods have been getting my offerings?

And what about my begging?

Have they heard my pathetic begging?

I've really stepped up my game.

I've started to hunch over and… grovel… you know,

I kinda do this kinda thing now.

They've gotta, like, love this, right?

Prediction stands. The one who wears
the crown will be eaten tomorrow.

"The one who wears the crown."

Masikura. You

are a genius!

Congratulations!
How sweet is this?!

My boy, you are king now.

He, he, he, he's the what now?

Ruling a kingdom is a young
lemur's game.

I've had a good run
but, you know, it's time to move on.

Are you sure the prince
is ready?

Oh, looks ready to me.

This just seems so sudden.

Don't worry. Our paths
are gonna cross again.

Maybe as early as, I don't know...
day after tomorrow.

Crazy thing about fate is,
how unpredictable it is.

Tootles!

Oh Clover. I forgot about you.

Meet your new bodyguard.
She comes with the deal.

Free advice:

lock the door when you're
in the bathroom.

She's very nosy.

Sweet breath of life!

Is he all right?

That question's haunted my every waking
hour since I began

watching over the prince.

But this.....

my guess, it's some kind of
"bliss coma",

which she should be coming out of
in 3, 2, 1.

I'm the king now! Me.
The king.

Ohh. You like me.
You really like me.

Oh this is so unexpected.
I have so many people to thank.

First of all, I gotta give it up to the
sky gods, right, for always having my back.

Peace. Peace up to you.

Prince— I mean King Julien,

I know you're excited, but we
need to take this slow, OK?

I mean, get a feel for the job.

Come up with a plan before we
go public.

Or… we could throw the most
dopest, most off the heezy

coronation bash this
kingdom has ever seen.

Uh, all due respect, your
new Majesty, a large ceremony

could attract the fossa.
Exactly.

If you want a ceremony, we keep
nice and low key.

Immediate family only, which means,
well, me...

since, the rest of your family was killed— got sent away…

to a nice farm with lots of room
to run around and play!

Maurice, you speak the
truth.

We shall do the smallest,
most boring, lame party ever.

How the kingdom is abuzz,
atwitter, and excited

to catch it's first glimpse of our new king!

I'm Xixi, reporting live from
the coronation.

Hello, my little sad
lemurs of Madagascar!

Your new king is here.

He's beautiful, eh? He's charming, ho ho ho.

He can do backflips!

He's me!

The previous king's sudden
departure has many wondering if this

former prince and notorious
party animal is ready to settle down.

Killer boots.
-Hmm?

It is my honour to present
our illustrious King Julien XIII!

Today is the start of
a new era!

A new King Julien!

Music and laughing and parties
and everything fun

are no longer illegal.

And, you don't have to be afraid
of the fossa

anymore!

They can take our women;
they can take our precious metals;

they can take our freedom.

But they can never take our freedom!

Uhh… huh?

I believe you, new
King Julien!

Yees!

What is your name,
you very

squat, stumpy, and mousy lemur?
-Mort!

Hello!

Keytar me, Maurice!

Yeah! Yeah, ha ha!
Now we got ourselves a party!

Hostiles in the perimeter.

I got this.

Thread neutralized. I repeat, threat—

Nobody told the fossa it's a holiday?

Fossa hungry.
-Fossa eat.

I am bland and flavourless!

Don't worry. I've got 'em.

King Julien, what's your
plan?

Everybody flee for your lives!

Hurray!

He is saving us all

in very confusing ways.

Hello? Kingdom?

Where is everyone?

Gone.

Gone?
But did they not hear the order

to run away? Because I
was pretty loud when I screamed it.

The ones that didn't end up
on the fossa's grocery list

did run away, but they never came back.

My kingdom—
is just you and me—

—and me!

I didn't even make it to the keytar solo.

You never had a chance.
-Who said that?

Crown?
Is that you?

I'm already on the edge, dragon lady.
How about a heads up?

What do you mean he
"never had a chance"?

Your uncle knew this was
going to happen.

I foretold months ago

that the king of the
lemurs would be eaten

by the fossa.

That's why he suddenly
made you king.

He set you up,
your Majesty!

Yes,

he is so wise.

If he is not king, the
king cannot be eaten.

You see, this is the superior

thinking you must
do when you're king, Maurice.

But, your Majesty, that means…

you will be eaten.

No, Maurice, you're not
listening.

The king cannot be
eaten if he is not king.

I am king, therefore I—

Oh...
-Your majesty,

prophecies can be wrong.
-No.

No, he's definitely fossa chow.

You are the king now.
Prophecy or not,

your people need you.

Yes. Yes, of course, you are right.

We must get our people back,

and I know how to do it.

Lay it on us, KJ!

The answer is simple, people.

We repopulate.

Clover, you're with me.

Maurice, Masikura, any time you're ready.

No.
-Really?

You're sure? I mean, it's a
time-honoured tradition.

Well, then I guess I'll just have to

save them from the fossa myself.

You'd do that?

There must be some reason
the gods chose me.

Maybe that reason is to get

eaten while saving my people.

And thanks for thinking of,
me gods.

Appreciate that.
-I'm going with you.

Eh, if she wakes up, tell her, "Thanks,

but this is something I need to do on my own."

Let's go, Maurice.
-What?

And this is the short loin.

Very tender, mmm.

What are you doing?

It is OK. They will never,
never ever be able to eat us,

because King Julien will
come to rescue everybody.

Oo, honey mustard.

Barbled-ecue.

Your majesty, are you
sure where you're going?

These are the directions
Masikura gave me.

The Cove of Wonders.

The secret repository of
treasure

the gods haves bestowed for
centuries

on the Julien kings.

Looks like a buttload of
junk washed up on a

beach.
-Yes, but this buttload

is all mine now!

Did Masikura say what we should
be looking for? Nope.

Only that when I found the right weapon

to save my peoples, I would know
in my heart.

Oh, oh, gettin' a palpitation.

Hey, check-a check-a this!

Oh, bet you I could smash the fossa

with this, baby.

Hey, that… that is some serious, ultra bass.

I think I just lost my hearing on my left side.

My heart is feeling this one, buddy.
-We're running out of time.

Why don't we try to find a weapon
with a little more fire power

and little less "ultra bass"?

I am the metal head fossa destroyer.

Half lemur, half metal lemur head.

Yargh, the powerful!

Harpoon!

Steady it so I can aim.

You know what you're doing?
-Of course not.

How crazy is this?

There's a connection here.

Maurice, could my mother have
had another son?

Pretty sure your mother didn't give
birth to boom box.

Your majesty, give me the toy.

Are you sure this is just a toy?

Or could it be a fossa destroyer
in disguise?

You and I both know it's not a—

Can't touch me.

Yeah! Can not touch.

I really can't touch you.

Heads up!

Your Majesty,

I think you just found your weapon.

It's always the stupid ones
that show true bravery.

Ok, once I have distracted the fossa,

you get my people to safety.

I understand.
-And whatever happens,

even if I scream for you,

the kingdom comes first.

Of course.
-Even if I'm bitten in half.

And not the butt half. The head half,
so I'm still able to howl your name.

What you are doing is
incredibly brave, King Julien.

I'll never forget you.

King Julien, are you crying?

No, one of your ears just poked me

in the eye, I think it might've
blinded me.

Okay, false alarm.

Seriously, Mo-Mo, thank you
for always looking out for me,

even if it was your job.

It stopped being a job a long time
ago, your Majesty.

That's very kind to say.

Unless it stopped being a job
because someone fired you,

in which case... little creepy you
still came to work.

Hey dummies, over here!

How do you like me now?

That was not supposed to happen.

Oh no, the people, your Majesty!

Get to the cage.

I know it doesn't look like it,
but this is a rescue.

Maurice!

Maurice! Forget what I said earlier.
I'm going to scream and I want you to help me!

Oh, how is this happening?

He had the weapon Masikura said
could save his people.

Of course. How
could I be so stupid?

Maurice? Where are you going?!

What kind of yellow-booted
coward would just run away and leave his

own people in the toothy mouths of the fossa?

Oh, oh man. Oh, you

gotta be kidding me.

I really am the worst king ever.

I deserve to be eaten.

Take me.

I believed in you.

My only regret is that I did not save everyone,

and we are going to be eaten.

That's a pretty big one, I guess.

You know, as far as regrets go.

Sorry everybody!
-It happens.

What are you gonna do?
-But I am still sad.

We're lemurs. I'm
surprised we've lived this long.

True that, Ted.

So true that.

(I like to move it, move it. You like to…)

Maurice?

You came back!

Eh, kind of inappropriate time to

shake your moneymaker, though.
Don't you think?

This is your weapon!

The first choice you
made with your heart.

This is you!

Yes!

My special king places getting all tingly.

Who's your ruler, baby?
-You are?

Got that right.
Maurice, drop me a beat!

So free!
What? What are you doing?

Thank you, the feet! I will love you forever

and ever, and give you all the
huggies in the world.

Stop touching the royal
feet.

Oh, that guy's so annoying.

Your Majesty, incoming!

Maurice, it's just like my dream.

Only I don't have my keytar.

But I do have ultra bass.

Crank that naughty poem, Maurice.

The prophecy… No. King Julien!

King Julien, you did it.

You saved them all!

No offense, but I cannot believe it.

And I cannot believe Masikura

was wrong about the fossa eating me.

I never said "all of you".

Wow, that is a large patch
that they ate off me there.

The future.

Nice job, your Majesty.

I'm a king now, Clover.
It's what I do.

Oh, and by the way.

Since the rest of the ringtails
gone scaredy babies ran off,

I'm making you commander.

You good with that?

I… yes! I have so many ideas your uncle never let me implement.

Acid pits. Armed birds.
-Yeah, yeah, OK.

Cool the crazy, you've already got the job.
-You know,

this party can't last forever.

Of course, Maurice.

The fossa will return

and try to slash to pieces with their
razor-sharp teeth.

Look, guys. We're a bunch of lemurs in

the jungle baby. There is nothing
here that doesn't want to eat us,

to poison us, or to swallow us up in
gooey black pits of deathliness.

Oh! Oh, I'm going to die.

But I learned something today. Something

I already knew, but then forgot,
but then

learned again even more.

And it is this: that there may not be a tomorrow,

and we've got to live extra big today.

You know, Maurice,

this place really is paradise.

I wonder if he's dead yet.

Magnificent.

We gotta party, make
this moment last forever.

We gotta party like our life has just begun.

I feel so magnificent.

I feel so magnificent.

We gotta party 'til the whole world feels magnificent.

Oh, ohh, ohh, ohhh. Oh, ohh, ohh.

I feel so magnificent.