Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 2, Episode 4 - Smiler with a Gun - full transcript
Roger Davis, playing alongside his old friend Peter Deuel for the last time (they often competed for roles during the 1960s) turns up as perpetually smiling Danny Bilson, a remarkably fast gun who impresses even Kid Curry. Danny, Curry and Heyes in turn all draw the attention of Seth, a miner who believes he can get at least $20,000 out of a New Mexico mine Seth has -- with the help of three young, strong men. All four agree and work the mine, which lives up to expectations. During a celebration drink-and-dance when they have reached the target figure, Danny plays drunk and waits for the other three to pass out -- then steals the gold and all the food and water. Heyes, Curry and Seth try to walk across the desert. Seth slips away during the night and lies down to die when he thinks he's far enough away -- but Heyes and an extremely angry Curry find his body anyway. Heyes and Curry make it to a creek, refresh themselves and start asking around every town in New Mexico for Danny. When they find him, he is now a wealthy saloon owner with all but $500 tied up in investments. To further make his point, Danny lets a young gunfighter challenges him and drops the young buck in his track. Curry decides to get Danny's goat so badly that Danny will try to back-shoot him, hoping against hope that Danny will miss and Curry can drill him before Danny can fire a second round. That's exactly what happens. This was the first time Ben Murphy (Curry) worked with Roger Davis, but five months after this show filmed in late July 1971, Davis came back permanently as the new Hannibal Heyes.
Everybody happy.
Yes, indeed let's all have a good time there.
That's the way we do it in our town.
Yes, indeed.
Hey, what's all the excitement?
Somebody's gonna win a pile!
Fast draw contest!
Wipe that look off your face, Kid.
This contest is for amateurs.
Hey Seth, good to see ya.
Alright, step right up you cowpokes!
A little game a skill!
See how fast you boys are
with 'em their six guns.
It's only $5 to enter!
Winner takes all...
except a few dollars to defray my expenses.
Don't be bashful, gents!
Everybody's got a fair chance!
Ah Heyes, I'm a weak man.
If I should start to take an
unhealthy interest in all this -
lead me away at gun-point, would you?
You have my solemn word on that.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day Robin Hoods
very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out and give
you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
You're ready?
Let me check it once more.
Hey you fellas...get out of the way!
It's the plates we want to bust,
not your heads.
You want to try?
Alright.
You ready up there?
All set!
Alright, give me that dear son...
give me that there string.
Hey there buddy, come on.
Good boy, there.
Now listen...
don't you fire until you hear
the sound of the bell!
Ready?
Don't worry! You still get four more tries!
You ain't nervous, are you son?
Try it again!
Too bad, pal!
Better luck next time!
Sorry, buddy!
Come let's get a couple of
real gunman around here!
We can do some real serious shootin'!
Hey Seth, how about you?
You give me a shovel for a
hole diggin' contest...
and I'm on.
I've got a whole lot of money here, fellas.
A lot of money around here -
minus my little commission.
Come on anybody else want
to take one more try?
Only one more chance.
How about it?
Heyes...
what harm could it do?
I mean, I don't have to show
him anything fancy,
just enough to win.
Kid, forget it.
It just isn't worth the risk.
$100 Heyes?
Well, maybe we could get the lucky winner
into a friendly poker game.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's too bad. Sorry, pal.
Better luck next time!
You wanna try?
Alright.
Sorry, buddy boy.
Better luck next time!
Well, what's the top score?
Three out of five!
All right.
You just keep 'em coming fast.
Yeah. Fee $5,00.
Thank you.
You ready?
Heyes, I think I just saved myself $5.00.
Let's hope he isn't that good at poker.
He is.
You know I never would have believed
that draw to that inside straight.
No siree, well old lady luck must
be smiling on me today.
Sure, she is. I'm folding.
Me too.
You got my commission, too!
Don't do that, boys. Let me give
you a chance to win it all back.
Oh yeah?
That's what Sitting Bull said
to General Custer.
Let's go!
I guess I win the deal too!
You cut 'em.
How about us...
forgetting poker...
and just sitting here...and talking
Now, we can't win no money talking.
That depends upon like you're talking about.
If you listen to me for a few minutes,
you must wind up find yourself
with $5,000 a piece...
maybe more.
Just go ahead and talk.
We'll listen.
Nothing like a poker game to size up fellas.
Now, I figured the four of us
could get along just fine.
Smith here - he's a good solid poker player
knows just when to bluff - and when not to.
Jones here - he must have
invented poker face.
He plays close cards.
Danny here - he's got a
good nice disposition.
He's always smiling, win or lose.
Well, that's cause I don't lose
too often, old-timer. Now...
how about this $5,000?
Just who do we rob?
Robbing ain't my game.
I've got me a gold mine.
A gold mine. A gold mine.
Now, how many times have I heard that?
Now, tell me old-timer what is it,
you need a stake to the next town?
Here. Here you take that.
Now let's play.
Well, I brought the ore in the assayer's office.
You want, you to go take a look at it.
Where is this gold mine.
Sangre de Cristo Mountains.
Sangre de Cristo Mountains?
Well, that's all the way across the desert.
I didn't say it was gonna be easy.
It'll be the hardest work you
young bucks ever did in your lives -
broiling sun -
no saloon -
no women -
for four or five months,
that won't matter none
'cause you be so doggone tired at night
you can't do nothing else but sleep -
out there on the ground
with the rattlesnakes.
I sure gotta hand it to you old-timer,
you got a way of selling something now.
Now let's play, huh?
How much can we get out of this mine?
Are you serious?
Well, I found me a new vein in an old mine.
I figure...
it might come out with 25- $30,000
if we work at it and stick at it.
What will we need to start it?
You are serious!
We need four - five mules,
some horses,
some equipment
grub...
and plenty of water.
The desert out there is a
...is a killer.
Oh, come on Boys let's get go on.
I don't know how he does it:
seven days - a week 12 hours a day.
He ain't human.
Danny's got soft job -
inside there out of the sun.
Well, give me a hand.
Come on, I got another load.
Come on!
Well, how much you figure?
I'd say about $300 from yesterday's ore.
That's $300 worth?
Maybe more.
$75 apiece.
That's not bad for one day's work.
What's it total to now?
Well, let me see...
I'd say - almost $5,000.
And to think we've been here
hardly one month
My back swears that
we've been here six months!
Yeah. I could have sworn you were wrong!
On the short side.
Will you stop belly-aching.
I'm the one who didn't want to come.
I'm just smelling it!
Ain't nothing better than
the smell a good corn whiskey!
Well, smelling this allowed, Seth.
Just don't start drinking it.
Of course not!
No drinking whiskey
till we hit that $20,000 mark.
and then I figure we gonna down
the whole goll-darn jug and
get ourselves drunker then 4 hootie owls.
Well, we've never gonna get the
chance if we sit here laughing.
Let's get digging!
Danny, don't you ever stop smiling?
Nope. I haven't found any reason to!
How can you eat so many beans?
Well, what's the trouble?
You boys tired of beans?
Well, to be real honest,
I could force myself to eat
a nice big thick juicy steak.
Steak? You know it's a funny thing
I had steak on the bill of fare for today
and scratched it off the last minute
thinking nobody to order it.
I don't know why anybody wants
steak when we got all have beans.
That's how I figured!
Don't anybody move.
Your philosophy maybe 'don't move'.
Mine is...MOVE!
That my friend is...
what I call a lucky shot...
or are you that good?
Lucky.
Yeah.
What's your expert opinion?
That's a great gun.
The kind of balance you have to build in
sure can't buy it.
I don't mind own one like that myself.
Make me an offer.
You know, I've been doing
a little thinking about you
since you drew the hit off
that rattlesnake last week.
What really started me thinking was,
when I realized that you two were there
when I won all the money.
and you didn't even enter the contest.
Smith and Jones.
Hey, come on now.
We're out here miles from nowhere,
no reason why you couldn't tell me.
Who are you?
Danny?
You ought to know better than
ask a question like that.
But...it just happens
that his name is Thaddeus Jones
and my name is Joshua Smith.
The world is full of people named Jones
and Smith or haven't you noticed?
Hey come on now, come on fellas.
We're friends right?
Partners.
We got no secrets from each other.
I'll bet you're both wanted for something.
Yahooooo...!
We made it!
We, by gun, made it!
It's jug openin' time!
A miner said, Betsy, will you dance with me?
I will that, old hoss, if you
don't make too free;
But don't dance me hard.
Do you want to know why?
Doggone ye, I'm chock-full of strong alkali.
Sing too-ral-i-oo-ral-i-oo-ral-i-ay,
Sing too-ral-i-oo-ral-i-oo-ral-i-ay...
Get up!
GET UP! GET UP!
GET UP!
Come on!
Up, up!
Let's go!
Joshua...
what happened?
Our smiling friend is gone.
Gone?
He's...
taken our gold?
Worse than that, I'd say.
What could be worse than that?
He's taken our food and our canteens
and our horses.
I can't believe it!
I just can't believe it.
A good-natured fella like Danny
do a mean trick like that.
Right? He was always smiling.
Yeah...
never trust a man who's always smiling!
That's what my granddaddy used to say.
Now you tell us.
What are you doing with that jug?
I don't want to ever see that jug again.
It'll hold water.
It's about the only thing
around here that will.
We can't make it.
We can't get across that desert
without horses and mules.
Can't stay here without food.
I guess that's the way Danny had it figured.
I don't think he ever expected
to see us again,
or I'll see he'd just plain shot us
while we were sleeping.
How long you figure we can
make one jug of water last?
Oh, three or four days...
maybe.
We'll take a lot longer than that
to get across this desert.
Especially traveling at night
and that's the only way
we can travel in this heat.
Well, we just have to make the
water last longer, that's all.
We ain't gonna make it.
We'll make it.
A man can make it through a
whole lot more he thinks he can,
if he's got just a good enough reason.
Yeah...$20,000 this is a
good enough reason.
I'm talking about Danny.
I'll get it, he's gonna need it.
Hang on to him.
Come on, Seth, hang on now.
You can make it.
I'm sorry.
Come on, Seth. We gotta keep movin'!
We gotta get out of this storm
and get to some shelter.
There's a place, come on!
Come on, Seth.
Easy.
All right, give me your hand.
Easy, easy.
Just a little farther.
I'm just not gonna make it.
No more of that.
You're coming with us. Come on.
Come on...
just a little farther.
Come on, Seth.
Boys, I'm just not gonna make it.
Don't talk like that, Seth.
You'll make it.
Get you some rest that's all you need.
Now, what I need is your
good strong muscles.
My legs are just too weak.
Oh, now you relax.
You'll do fine, once that miserable
sun goes down.
Here, Seth, have some water.
We should hold you over.
Seth?
Come on, time to get up and go!
Go?
Thaddeus...
Joshua...
Oh, no, no, boys!
No I...I think you better just
go and let me be.
You'll feel fine once you're on your feet.
Here, all right.
Have a drink.
Well...come on, Seth.
Let's go.
No, I can't go anywhere
without my water jug.
Why it's empty?
You stole my water...!
You drank all my water!
No, Seth.
You're just like that other one.
Listen to us! Listen to us!
Seth - you drank it all.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's, all right.
I must be getting a little loco, huh?
Forgive me boys, huh?
I know you two boys are all right.
Maybe you're do restin'.
Heyes!
Huh?
What?
Seth's gone!
Must have been trying to get just far
enough away so we couldn't find him.
So, we'd leave him...
It's hard - came out just as it was planned.
What's that?
What's that?
What's what?
That sound...
You're hearing things.
Heyes!
Thank you!
He was here.
The desk clerk says he remembers
him and where he went
What's that?
That's a little something to remind me
I'm not the same man who
went to the desert with Danny.
And I won't be until I settle the score.
Oh, I see.
Do you ever stop to think that shaving might
be a lot less painful than tangling with him?
Yeah, but I learned to shoot
before I could shave.
Ask Lurene over there.
Every young buck who comes to town
usually ends up with Lurene.
Miss Lurene?
Yeah?
Oh, what can I do for you, boys?
We could buy you a drink?
Well, that's a beginning, ain't it?
This table here OK?
Oh, that's fine.
Have Lurene don't drink alone.
Fine, I was just about to order.
My name is Joshua Smith.
I'm Thaddeus Jones, ma'am.
Well, real nice American names!
I'll drink to both of them!
Ebenezer...!
Commin' right up, Lurene!
I don't know which you two is the best lookin'.
'Cause looks ain't everything. Right, boys?
Right.
Like I said - she don't drink alone.
Like you said...
Thank you.
You see some four-flusher was just in here
bought me a couple of drinks
then figured he could take up all my time
and time is money, right?
Ebenezer throw him out.
Ebenezer...!
Be right there, Lurene!
Naturally, Lurene, we realize
that your time is valuable
and we can see that.
We just want to ask you a question.
Well, shot, shot!
I'm listenin'.
Did you meet a man named Danny
Bilson in the last few days?
That tall -
slim-
sandy hair -
smiles a lot!
Why'd you want to know?
We have a message for him.
A friend of his died -
a real good friend.
Yeah.
We have to get the message
to him it's important.
Now, you better drink up fellas!
I don't like getting too far ahead of you.
I need the glasses.
Now...?
Now!
Hmm - we need refills, Ebenezer.
Be right with ya, Lurene.
This Danny Bilson maybe
used a different name.
No, no. Not my Danny Boy!
What a man!
Oh, but I shouldn't be telling
you boys anything!
You may be lawmen or something.
Oh Lurene, you couldn't be more wrong.
It's a matter of fact ma'am you
might just say that we're...
a little bit...
outside of the law.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Oh...in that case.
Well, Danny promised he'd come
back and take me away with him.
So, if I tell you where he is,
you got a promise to tell him arenas
Lurene's waiting for him
to keep his promise.
Promise?
Oh, wish I had a Bible with me to swear on!
I'm, too...
I trust you!
He's in Matherville.
About 100 miles south of here.
Now that we found him -
how far you figure on going
towards getting yourself hanged
just to get even with him?
I don't know.
Couldn't figure down an idea.
Kid...
we can't do a thing about
what happened to Seth.
We're gonna have to settle for the
money - there's just no other way.
Now, this is a surprise.
I can imagine.
Can I buy you a drink?
No thanks.
You two here alone?
Yeah.
Seth didn't make it.
We got lucky though.
Yes, I see you did.
Well, what do we do now?
You want me to tell you right here?
In front of everyone?
No, the owner has a little table over here.
It's nice and private.
We can go over there do a little talking.
If that's what you want to do.
Boys!
Here you go.
Now...
you took $20,000
a quarter of it was yours
half was ours
a quarter belong to Seth.
We're gonna take Seth's share,
'cause Seth is dead.
And we're gonna take yours, too.
I see.
And that's in return for your not
telling the sheriff what I did.
That's right
Well, now I know.
Yessir, your name ain't Smith
and your name ain't Jones -
and you really were afraid to enter
that fast draw contest, weren't you?
Yeah, yeah. It's all just as...
just as clear as this gin right here.
You are wanted somewhere the both of you.
Or you'd be havin' the sheriff over
here put me away for murder
and you'd have a lawyer here
trying to get your money back.
Sorry, but you can't do that, can you?
No sir, you can't hang around
and be witnesses in any trial.
'Cause you're in more trouble with
the law than I am, right? Huh?
We didn't bring the sheriff over here
because we want our money
now not a year from now.
Oh, you want it now?
Now.
Well I got something real sad to tell
you boys - you can't get it now.
Why not?
Well, when I told you that
the owner of this place
wouldn't mind us using this table
I...I knew he wouldn't
'cause I'm the owner!
Yes sir.
I own the whole shootin' match -
everything - saloon - hotel!
It's all mine!
Of course, the hard cash
I guess I've got about $500.
So why don't you take that as your share?
I think you ain't listening to good!
You stole $20,000 and you killed Seth.
Now - there's nothing we can do about Seth...
...but we're gonna get our money
out of you one way or another...
and we're gonna get it all!
Well, how you're gonna do it?
You're gonna steal my hotel?
You're gonna pick it up in the middle of
the night and carry it away, huh?
What are you gonna do?
Come on now, boys be reasonable!
Take the $500 and not give me any trouble -
because if you do
I'm gonna go to the sheriff over there
and I'm gonna tell him what you really are;
a couple of thieving, lying outlaws
who are giving me a hard time.
Look...
for the last time, we aren't outlaws.
We just don't want to make trouble
because we can't afford the time.
Now, you bought this place.
You can sell it.
You've got one week.
One week from today
we come and get our money
or we go to the sheriff in time about Seth.
You are bluffing.
You are bluffing...
Well, we got us a real little standoff
here, now don't we?
I guess that gives us just about a week
to find out who really is bluffing.
And I'll tell you boys - it ain't me.
We got to do something, Heyes.
I don't know what, but somethin'.
He killed Seth as sure as shootin' him.
Will you stop?
Now, there's nothing we can do.
Danny's right. He's not sure
he's right, but he's right.
If we went to the sheriff, we'd have to
stick around as material witnesses -
24 hours after Danny started open his mouth
everybody'd know who we are.
So, if Danny calls our bluff,
we're through, is that it all?
I'm afraid so.
Dirty cheat!
Did you hear me?
I said you're a sneaking cheat!
You're dealing seconds.
Now, listen kid. You play a
mean hand of blackjack,
but every time you come in here
you start accusing people of cheatin'.
And we both know that you
don't know a second
from a roulette wheel.
So, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
I ain't gonna get out!
I'm a loser.
You get rid of him.
Now, you're more than a loser kid.
You're a bad loser.
I mean you come in here
calling my dealers cheats
it's just like you were calling me a cheat.
So...you gonna have to get out now.
You wouldn't say that if I had my gun on me.
Maybe I should have worn it in here tonight.
You got a gun and I ain't.
But I'm not leaving!
I want a chance to win my money back
at poker where you can't cheat me.
You know kid, I've given you
every chance in the world
to walk out of here on your own
and you just won't take it.
So...
And don't come back.
You understand?
I'm coming back Bilson with my gun.
I'm coming back to kill you!
Well, if it isn't Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones.
You know, you ought to stay around
and protect your investment.
Anything happens to me,
you'll be out $20,000.
Might be worth it.
I didn't think you had
the guts enough to try it.
Well, if you change your mind
you don't know where to find me.
One day left.
Any predictions?
Yeah...
but I don't want to say it.
Mornin' folks.
Good morning.
Hello, ladies.
Hey you!
You...
Bilson!
Are you talking to me, cowboy?
That's right!
I'm going into your saloon
to get my money back.
There's only one way you can stop me
and that's by using that gun you're wearing.
But you better think about it, 'cause...
I'm wearing my gun today and...
I know how to use it.
Well, I'm sure sorry to hear that, cowboy,
'cause you're not going into my saloon.
I'm going in now...
and if you make one move for that gun...
you're a dead man.
Don't try it!
You got our money?
Well, now boys what's the rush?
Why don't you stay around
for a friendly drink?
No, you just give us the
money and we'll leave.
Now, if that's the way you want it.
Homer!
Coming up.
Here it is.
Thank you.
Now there it is boys.
Here's the money.
It's all fives and ones.
I guess...$500?
Right on the button.
Yes sir, that's exactly right - $500.
Well, no you boys didn't think I was gonna
give up this gold mine, did you?
Honestly...
didn't ya?
Well, I guess $500 is $500.
Yeah.
You shouldn't throw good money around.
No. It's hard to come by
but if that's what you want...
that's it,
'cause there's not gonna be any more.
Did you see, boys, I've made a decision.
I'm gonna call your bluff.
So, you can go over and tell the sheriff
anything you think you can afford to.
Well, he did it!
He called us - all the way.
Got away with the whole thing.
Killing Seth. Stealing the money.
He called our bluff, Kid...
there's not a thing we can do.
You can always see the sheriff.
Are you crazy?
I don't think so.
Want to come along?
All right, you tell me!
What am I supposed to do?
Well, there was a fella killed out there.
Me and Joshua here saw him.
Well, so did I.
That young fella threatened Dan Bilson
and forced him to draw!
I saw it all!
What if the cowboy killed
Bilson out there yesterday?
I would have arrested him for murder
because the cowboy started it.
Now, I don't know why you're asking,
but I go by one simple rule:
If there's a gunfight
the man who started had better lose
or he's in a lot of trouble.
Bilson wouldn't have any influence
with you, would he sheriff?
Bilson runs a saloon.
That's all he is to me.
And you're not gonna do anything
about what happened?
That's right.
I'm not.
All right, Sheriff.
Thanks.
All right,
what was that all about?
I don't know.
Could be I was thinking about
pushing our smiling friend into a fight.
What? But you're not thinking
that anymore, right?
I guess not.
As you know Heyes...
I'm not too sure I'd win.
$42.00, exactly.
You leavin' town, Joshua?
That's right.
Learned a long time ago: when
you got a losing hand just toss it in.
Well, how does your friend
Thaddeus feel about that?
You'll have to ask him that.
Yeah, I just might do that.
You know you I understand.
You know how to lose.
I'm just not quite so sure about Thaddeus.
How does he feel about losing?
Huh?
I said, you'll have to ask him that.
Yeah. I will.
On second thought Danny -
don't ask him.
Smartest thing for you to do
is lay low for a while.
We'll be riding out of here in ten minutes.
Hey, you got something to say to me?
Hey, Jones!
I said, you got something to say to me?
Kid, don't!
What's on your mind?
Well I'll be happy to tell you.
I think you're leaving town
in broad daylight
'cause you plan on coming back in the dark!
Now, why would I do that?
'Cause you're a small man
with a big grudge!
Except you haven't got guts enough
to do anything about it - except...
maybe in the dark?
Behind somebody's back?
You said all you got to say?
I don't hear you denying any of it!
You know I want to hear that.
I want to hear what's on your mind.
I want to hear what's on your mind now.
Not in the dark,
when nobody's looking.
Now, I'll tell you what's on my mind
is I want to get out of town.
That's alright with you?
It's not alright!
You ain't going anywhere!
Well, I can't stand here all day, Danny.
Now I'm gonna go get on my horse
and I'm gonna leave.
Now!
Well, you were watching.
He started it, didn't he?
Well, it looked that way to me.
But it sure is a coincidence that you're
only asking about that just an hour ago.
That's exactly what it was
Sheriff, a coincidence.
Kid - now I know why you
talked to the sheriff.
You had a hunch Danny was
gonna challenge you, didn't you?
Yeah, I guess that's what
it was, Heyes, a hunch.
'Cause it sure wasn't a hope.
I think Danny could have outshot
me easy shootin' at a target -
maybe a plate?
But I got lucky he was shooting
at a target that could shoot back.
I guess that made the difference.
Yes, indeed let's all have a good time there.
That's the way we do it in our town.
Yes, indeed.
Hey, what's all the excitement?
Somebody's gonna win a pile!
Fast draw contest!
Wipe that look off your face, Kid.
This contest is for amateurs.
Hey Seth, good to see ya.
Alright, step right up you cowpokes!
A little game a skill!
See how fast you boys are
with 'em their six guns.
It's only $5 to enter!
Winner takes all...
except a few dollars to defray my expenses.
Don't be bashful, gents!
Everybody's got a fair chance!
Ah Heyes, I'm a weak man.
If I should start to take an
unhealthy interest in all this -
lead me away at gun-point, would you?
You have my solemn word on that.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day Robin Hoods
very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out and give
you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
You're ready?
Let me check it once more.
Hey you fellas...get out of the way!
It's the plates we want to bust,
not your heads.
You want to try?
Alright.
You ready up there?
All set!
Alright, give me that dear son...
give me that there string.
Hey there buddy, come on.
Good boy, there.
Now listen...
don't you fire until you hear
the sound of the bell!
Ready?
Don't worry! You still get four more tries!
You ain't nervous, are you son?
Try it again!
Too bad, pal!
Better luck next time!
Sorry, buddy!
Come let's get a couple of
real gunman around here!
We can do some real serious shootin'!
Hey Seth, how about you?
You give me a shovel for a
hole diggin' contest...
and I'm on.
I've got a whole lot of money here, fellas.
A lot of money around here -
minus my little commission.
Come on anybody else want
to take one more try?
Only one more chance.
How about it?
Heyes...
what harm could it do?
I mean, I don't have to show
him anything fancy,
just enough to win.
Kid, forget it.
It just isn't worth the risk.
$100 Heyes?
Well, maybe we could get the lucky winner
into a friendly poker game.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's too bad. Sorry, pal.
Better luck next time!
You wanna try?
Alright.
Sorry, buddy boy.
Better luck next time!
Well, what's the top score?
Three out of five!
All right.
You just keep 'em coming fast.
Yeah. Fee $5,00.
Thank you.
You ready?
Heyes, I think I just saved myself $5.00.
Let's hope he isn't that good at poker.
He is.
You know I never would have believed
that draw to that inside straight.
No siree, well old lady luck must
be smiling on me today.
Sure, she is. I'm folding.
Me too.
You got my commission, too!
Don't do that, boys. Let me give
you a chance to win it all back.
Oh yeah?
That's what Sitting Bull said
to General Custer.
Let's go!
I guess I win the deal too!
You cut 'em.
How about us...
forgetting poker...
and just sitting here...and talking
Now, we can't win no money talking.
That depends upon like you're talking about.
If you listen to me for a few minutes,
you must wind up find yourself
with $5,000 a piece...
maybe more.
Just go ahead and talk.
We'll listen.
Nothing like a poker game to size up fellas.
Now, I figured the four of us
could get along just fine.
Smith here - he's a good solid poker player
knows just when to bluff - and when not to.
Jones here - he must have
invented poker face.
He plays close cards.
Danny here - he's got a
good nice disposition.
He's always smiling, win or lose.
Well, that's cause I don't lose
too often, old-timer. Now...
how about this $5,000?
Just who do we rob?
Robbing ain't my game.
I've got me a gold mine.
A gold mine. A gold mine.
Now, how many times have I heard that?
Now, tell me old-timer what is it,
you need a stake to the next town?
Here. Here you take that.
Now let's play.
Well, I brought the ore in the assayer's office.
You want, you to go take a look at it.
Where is this gold mine.
Sangre de Cristo Mountains.
Sangre de Cristo Mountains?
Well, that's all the way across the desert.
I didn't say it was gonna be easy.
It'll be the hardest work you
young bucks ever did in your lives -
broiling sun -
no saloon -
no women -
for four or five months,
that won't matter none
'cause you be so doggone tired at night
you can't do nothing else but sleep -
out there on the ground
with the rattlesnakes.
I sure gotta hand it to you old-timer,
you got a way of selling something now.
Now let's play, huh?
How much can we get out of this mine?
Are you serious?
Well, I found me a new vein in an old mine.
I figure...
it might come out with 25- $30,000
if we work at it and stick at it.
What will we need to start it?
You are serious!
We need four - five mules,
some horses,
some equipment
grub...
and plenty of water.
The desert out there is a
...is a killer.
Oh, come on Boys let's get go on.
I don't know how he does it:
seven days - a week 12 hours a day.
He ain't human.
Danny's got soft job -
inside there out of the sun.
Well, give me a hand.
Come on, I got another load.
Come on!
Well, how much you figure?
I'd say about $300 from yesterday's ore.
That's $300 worth?
Maybe more.
$75 apiece.
That's not bad for one day's work.
What's it total to now?
Well, let me see...
I'd say - almost $5,000.
And to think we've been here
hardly one month
My back swears that
we've been here six months!
Yeah. I could have sworn you were wrong!
On the short side.
Will you stop belly-aching.
I'm the one who didn't want to come.
I'm just smelling it!
Ain't nothing better than
the smell a good corn whiskey!
Well, smelling this allowed, Seth.
Just don't start drinking it.
Of course not!
No drinking whiskey
till we hit that $20,000 mark.
and then I figure we gonna down
the whole goll-darn jug and
get ourselves drunker then 4 hootie owls.
Well, we've never gonna get the
chance if we sit here laughing.
Let's get digging!
Danny, don't you ever stop smiling?
Nope. I haven't found any reason to!
How can you eat so many beans?
Well, what's the trouble?
You boys tired of beans?
Well, to be real honest,
I could force myself to eat
a nice big thick juicy steak.
Steak? You know it's a funny thing
I had steak on the bill of fare for today
and scratched it off the last minute
thinking nobody to order it.
I don't know why anybody wants
steak when we got all have beans.
That's how I figured!
Don't anybody move.
Your philosophy maybe 'don't move'.
Mine is...MOVE!
That my friend is...
what I call a lucky shot...
or are you that good?
Lucky.
Yeah.
What's your expert opinion?
That's a great gun.
The kind of balance you have to build in
sure can't buy it.
I don't mind own one like that myself.
Make me an offer.
You know, I've been doing
a little thinking about you
since you drew the hit off
that rattlesnake last week.
What really started me thinking was,
when I realized that you two were there
when I won all the money.
and you didn't even enter the contest.
Smith and Jones.
Hey, come on now.
We're out here miles from nowhere,
no reason why you couldn't tell me.
Who are you?
Danny?
You ought to know better than
ask a question like that.
But...it just happens
that his name is Thaddeus Jones
and my name is Joshua Smith.
The world is full of people named Jones
and Smith or haven't you noticed?
Hey come on now, come on fellas.
We're friends right?
Partners.
We got no secrets from each other.
I'll bet you're both wanted for something.
Yahooooo...!
We made it!
We, by gun, made it!
It's jug openin' time!
A miner said, Betsy, will you dance with me?
I will that, old hoss, if you
don't make too free;
But don't dance me hard.
Do you want to know why?
Doggone ye, I'm chock-full of strong alkali.
Sing too-ral-i-oo-ral-i-oo-ral-i-ay,
Sing too-ral-i-oo-ral-i-oo-ral-i-ay...
Get up!
GET UP! GET UP!
GET UP!
Come on!
Up, up!
Let's go!
Joshua...
what happened?
Our smiling friend is gone.
Gone?
He's...
taken our gold?
Worse than that, I'd say.
What could be worse than that?
He's taken our food and our canteens
and our horses.
I can't believe it!
I just can't believe it.
A good-natured fella like Danny
do a mean trick like that.
Right? He was always smiling.
Yeah...
never trust a man who's always smiling!
That's what my granddaddy used to say.
Now you tell us.
What are you doing with that jug?
I don't want to ever see that jug again.
It'll hold water.
It's about the only thing
around here that will.
We can't make it.
We can't get across that desert
without horses and mules.
Can't stay here without food.
I guess that's the way Danny had it figured.
I don't think he ever expected
to see us again,
or I'll see he'd just plain shot us
while we were sleeping.
How long you figure we can
make one jug of water last?
Oh, three or four days...
maybe.
We'll take a lot longer than that
to get across this desert.
Especially traveling at night
and that's the only way
we can travel in this heat.
Well, we just have to make the
water last longer, that's all.
We ain't gonna make it.
We'll make it.
A man can make it through a
whole lot more he thinks he can,
if he's got just a good enough reason.
Yeah...$20,000 this is a
good enough reason.
I'm talking about Danny.
I'll get it, he's gonna need it.
Hang on to him.
Come on, Seth, hang on now.
You can make it.
I'm sorry.
Come on, Seth. We gotta keep movin'!
We gotta get out of this storm
and get to some shelter.
There's a place, come on!
Come on, Seth.
Easy.
All right, give me your hand.
Easy, easy.
Just a little farther.
I'm just not gonna make it.
No more of that.
You're coming with us. Come on.
Come on...
just a little farther.
Come on, Seth.
Boys, I'm just not gonna make it.
Don't talk like that, Seth.
You'll make it.
Get you some rest that's all you need.
Now, what I need is your
good strong muscles.
My legs are just too weak.
Oh, now you relax.
You'll do fine, once that miserable
sun goes down.
Here, Seth, have some water.
We should hold you over.
Seth?
Come on, time to get up and go!
Go?
Thaddeus...
Joshua...
Oh, no, no, boys!
No I...I think you better just
go and let me be.
You'll feel fine once you're on your feet.
Here, all right.
Have a drink.
Well...come on, Seth.
Let's go.
No, I can't go anywhere
without my water jug.
Why it's empty?
You stole my water...!
You drank all my water!
No, Seth.
You're just like that other one.
Listen to us! Listen to us!
Seth - you drank it all.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's, all right.
I must be getting a little loco, huh?
Forgive me boys, huh?
I know you two boys are all right.
Maybe you're do restin'.
Heyes!
Huh?
What?
Seth's gone!
Must have been trying to get just far
enough away so we couldn't find him.
So, we'd leave him...
It's hard - came out just as it was planned.
What's that?
What's that?
What's what?
That sound...
You're hearing things.
Heyes!
Thank you!
He was here.
The desk clerk says he remembers
him and where he went
What's that?
That's a little something to remind me
I'm not the same man who
went to the desert with Danny.
And I won't be until I settle the score.
Oh, I see.
Do you ever stop to think that shaving might
be a lot less painful than tangling with him?
Yeah, but I learned to shoot
before I could shave.
Ask Lurene over there.
Every young buck who comes to town
usually ends up with Lurene.
Miss Lurene?
Yeah?
Oh, what can I do for you, boys?
We could buy you a drink?
Well, that's a beginning, ain't it?
This table here OK?
Oh, that's fine.
Have Lurene don't drink alone.
Fine, I was just about to order.
My name is Joshua Smith.
I'm Thaddeus Jones, ma'am.
Well, real nice American names!
I'll drink to both of them!
Ebenezer...!
Commin' right up, Lurene!
I don't know which you two is the best lookin'.
'Cause looks ain't everything. Right, boys?
Right.
Like I said - she don't drink alone.
Like you said...
Thank you.
You see some four-flusher was just in here
bought me a couple of drinks
then figured he could take up all my time
and time is money, right?
Ebenezer throw him out.
Ebenezer...!
Be right there, Lurene!
Naturally, Lurene, we realize
that your time is valuable
and we can see that.
We just want to ask you a question.
Well, shot, shot!
I'm listenin'.
Did you meet a man named Danny
Bilson in the last few days?
That tall -
slim-
sandy hair -
smiles a lot!
Why'd you want to know?
We have a message for him.
A friend of his died -
a real good friend.
Yeah.
We have to get the message
to him it's important.
Now, you better drink up fellas!
I don't like getting too far ahead of you.
I need the glasses.
Now...?
Now!
Hmm - we need refills, Ebenezer.
Be right with ya, Lurene.
This Danny Bilson maybe
used a different name.
No, no. Not my Danny Boy!
What a man!
Oh, but I shouldn't be telling
you boys anything!
You may be lawmen or something.
Oh Lurene, you couldn't be more wrong.
It's a matter of fact ma'am you
might just say that we're...
a little bit...
outside of the law.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Oh...in that case.
Well, Danny promised he'd come
back and take me away with him.
So, if I tell you where he is,
you got a promise to tell him arenas
Lurene's waiting for him
to keep his promise.
Promise?
Oh, wish I had a Bible with me to swear on!
I'm, too...
I trust you!
He's in Matherville.
About 100 miles south of here.
Now that we found him -
how far you figure on going
towards getting yourself hanged
just to get even with him?
I don't know.
Couldn't figure down an idea.
Kid...
we can't do a thing about
what happened to Seth.
We're gonna have to settle for the
money - there's just no other way.
Now, this is a surprise.
I can imagine.
Can I buy you a drink?
No thanks.
You two here alone?
Yeah.
Seth didn't make it.
We got lucky though.
Yes, I see you did.
Well, what do we do now?
You want me to tell you right here?
In front of everyone?
No, the owner has a little table over here.
It's nice and private.
We can go over there do a little talking.
If that's what you want to do.
Boys!
Here you go.
Now...
you took $20,000
a quarter of it was yours
half was ours
a quarter belong to Seth.
We're gonna take Seth's share,
'cause Seth is dead.
And we're gonna take yours, too.
I see.
And that's in return for your not
telling the sheriff what I did.
That's right
Well, now I know.
Yessir, your name ain't Smith
and your name ain't Jones -
and you really were afraid to enter
that fast draw contest, weren't you?
Yeah, yeah. It's all just as...
just as clear as this gin right here.
You are wanted somewhere the both of you.
Or you'd be havin' the sheriff over
here put me away for murder
and you'd have a lawyer here
trying to get your money back.
Sorry, but you can't do that, can you?
No sir, you can't hang around
and be witnesses in any trial.
'Cause you're in more trouble with
the law than I am, right? Huh?
We didn't bring the sheriff over here
because we want our money
now not a year from now.
Oh, you want it now?
Now.
Well I got something real sad to tell
you boys - you can't get it now.
Why not?
Well, when I told you that
the owner of this place
wouldn't mind us using this table
I...I knew he wouldn't
'cause I'm the owner!
Yes sir.
I own the whole shootin' match -
everything - saloon - hotel!
It's all mine!
Of course, the hard cash
I guess I've got about $500.
So why don't you take that as your share?
I think you ain't listening to good!
You stole $20,000 and you killed Seth.
Now - there's nothing we can do about Seth...
...but we're gonna get our money
out of you one way or another...
and we're gonna get it all!
Well, how you're gonna do it?
You're gonna steal my hotel?
You're gonna pick it up in the middle of
the night and carry it away, huh?
What are you gonna do?
Come on now, boys be reasonable!
Take the $500 and not give me any trouble -
because if you do
I'm gonna go to the sheriff over there
and I'm gonna tell him what you really are;
a couple of thieving, lying outlaws
who are giving me a hard time.
Look...
for the last time, we aren't outlaws.
We just don't want to make trouble
because we can't afford the time.
Now, you bought this place.
You can sell it.
You've got one week.
One week from today
we come and get our money
or we go to the sheriff in time about Seth.
You are bluffing.
You are bluffing...
Well, we got us a real little standoff
here, now don't we?
I guess that gives us just about a week
to find out who really is bluffing.
And I'll tell you boys - it ain't me.
We got to do something, Heyes.
I don't know what, but somethin'.
He killed Seth as sure as shootin' him.
Will you stop?
Now, there's nothing we can do.
Danny's right. He's not sure
he's right, but he's right.
If we went to the sheriff, we'd have to
stick around as material witnesses -
24 hours after Danny started open his mouth
everybody'd know who we are.
So, if Danny calls our bluff,
we're through, is that it all?
I'm afraid so.
Dirty cheat!
Did you hear me?
I said you're a sneaking cheat!
You're dealing seconds.
Now, listen kid. You play a
mean hand of blackjack,
but every time you come in here
you start accusing people of cheatin'.
And we both know that you
don't know a second
from a roulette wheel.
So, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
I ain't gonna get out!
I'm a loser.
You get rid of him.
Now, you're more than a loser kid.
You're a bad loser.
I mean you come in here
calling my dealers cheats
it's just like you were calling me a cheat.
So...you gonna have to get out now.
You wouldn't say that if I had my gun on me.
Maybe I should have worn it in here tonight.
You got a gun and I ain't.
But I'm not leaving!
I want a chance to win my money back
at poker where you can't cheat me.
You know kid, I've given you
every chance in the world
to walk out of here on your own
and you just won't take it.
So...
And don't come back.
You understand?
I'm coming back Bilson with my gun.
I'm coming back to kill you!
Well, if it isn't Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones.
You know, you ought to stay around
and protect your investment.
Anything happens to me,
you'll be out $20,000.
Might be worth it.
I didn't think you had
the guts enough to try it.
Well, if you change your mind
you don't know where to find me.
One day left.
Any predictions?
Yeah...
but I don't want to say it.
Mornin' folks.
Good morning.
Hello, ladies.
Hey you!
You...
Bilson!
Are you talking to me, cowboy?
That's right!
I'm going into your saloon
to get my money back.
There's only one way you can stop me
and that's by using that gun you're wearing.
But you better think about it, 'cause...
I'm wearing my gun today and...
I know how to use it.
Well, I'm sure sorry to hear that, cowboy,
'cause you're not going into my saloon.
I'm going in now...
and if you make one move for that gun...
you're a dead man.
Don't try it!
You got our money?
Well, now boys what's the rush?
Why don't you stay around
for a friendly drink?
No, you just give us the
money and we'll leave.
Now, if that's the way you want it.
Homer!
Coming up.
Here it is.
Thank you.
Now there it is boys.
Here's the money.
It's all fives and ones.
I guess...$500?
Right on the button.
Yes sir, that's exactly right - $500.
Well, no you boys didn't think I was gonna
give up this gold mine, did you?
Honestly...
didn't ya?
Well, I guess $500 is $500.
Yeah.
You shouldn't throw good money around.
No. It's hard to come by
but if that's what you want...
that's it,
'cause there's not gonna be any more.
Did you see, boys, I've made a decision.
I'm gonna call your bluff.
So, you can go over and tell the sheriff
anything you think you can afford to.
Well, he did it!
He called us - all the way.
Got away with the whole thing.
Killing Seth. Stealing the money.
He called our bluff, Kid...
there's not a thing we can do.
You can always see the sheriff.
Are you crazy?
I don't think so.
Want to come along?
All right, you tell me!
What am I supposed to do?
Well, there was a fella killed out there.
Me and Joshua here saw him.
Well, so did I.
That young fella threatened Dan Bilson
and forced him to draw!
I saw it all!
What if the cowboy killed
Bilson out there yesterday?
I would have arrested him for murder
because the cowboy started it.
Now, I don't know why you're asking,
but I go by one simple rule:
If there's a gunfight
the man who started had better lose
or he's in a lot of trouble.
Bilson wouldn't have any influence
with you, would he sheriff?
Bilson runs a saloon.
That's all he is to me.
And you're not gonna do anything
about what happened?
That's right.
I'm not.
All right, Sheriff.
Thanks.
All right,
what was that all about?
I don't know.
Could be I was thinking about
pushing our smiling friend into a fight.
What? But you're not thinking
that anymore, right?
I guess not.
As you know Heyes...
I'm not too sure I'd win.
$42.00, exactly.
You leavin' town, Joshua?
That's right.
Learned a long time ago: when
you got a losing hand just toss it in.
Well, how does your friend
Thaddeus feel about that?
You'll have to ask him that.
Yeah, I just might do that.
You know you I understand.
You know how to lose.
I'm just not quite so sure about Thaddeus.
How does he feel about losing?
Huh?
I said, you'll have to ask him that.
Yeah. I will.
On second thought Danny -
don't ask him.
Smartest thing for you to do
is lay low for a while.
We'll be riding out of here in ten minutes.
Hey, you got something to say to me?
Hey, Jones!
I said, you got something to say to me?
Kid, don't!
What's on your mind?
Well I'll be happy to tell you.
I think you're leaving town
in broad daylight
'cause you plan on coming back in the dark!
Now, why would I do that?
'Cause you're a small man
with a big grudge!
Except you haven't got guts enough
to do anything about it - except...
maybe in the dark?
Behind somebody's back?
You said all you got to say?
I don't hear you denying any of it!
You know I want to hear that.
I want to hear what's on your mind.
I want to hear what's on your mind now.
Not in the dark,
when nobody's looking.
Now, I'll tell you what's on my mind
is I want to get out of town.
That's alright with you?
It's not alright!
You ain't going anywhere!
Well, I can't stand here all day, Danny.
Now I'm gonna go get on my horse
and I'm gonna leave.
Now!
Well, you were watching.
He started it, didn't he?
Well, it looked that way to me.
But it sure is a coincidence that you're
only asking about that just an hour ago.
That's exactly what it was
Sheriff, a coincidence.
Kid - now I know why you
talked to the sheriff.
You had a hunch Danny was
gonna challenge you, didn't you?
Yeah, I guess that's what
it was, Heyes, a hunch.
'Cause it sure wasn't a hope.
I think Danny could have outshot
me easy shootin' at a target -
maybe a plate?
But I got lucky he was shooting
at a target that could shoot back.
I guess that made the difference.