Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Posse That Wouldn't Quit - full transcript

Walk it don't swim it.

A ordinary posse is bad enough -
we gotta get one with an Apache in it.

Yeah?
How do figure?

Three days and we haven't lost it?

It's got to be an Apache.

Have you counted them?
Maybe it's the number.

13 of them.

Oh. Well, maybe that's
gonna be unlucky for them.

Yeah...

How many more miles you think
we got left in these animals?

How many more miles you
think we got left in us?



Yeah.

Have you ever considered changing
our mode of transportation?

Funny that that thought should occur to you, too.

Hyah!
Hyah, c'mon!

What are you doing?

Hey, that's not gonna do any good.
They got an Apache with 'em.

Look anything's worth a try -

hate to break up a beautiful friendship.

Well, maybe they'll give us a joining cells.

That's what worries me.

C'mon!

Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry

The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West

and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.



This made our two latter-day Robin Hoods
very popular

with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.

There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.

What's that?

Out of this business.

The governor can't come flat out and give
you amnesty now

first you gotta prove you deserve it.

So all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble

until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?

But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?

Well, that's true

until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.

It'll be our secret.

That's a good deal?

I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.

Woah, ma'am.

Woah.
Step back off the road, boys -

or I have to let fly with both barrels.

Now, ma'am -
don't do that -

at least not till we explain.

We lost our horses ma'am and

we're kind of in trouble.

Coming through the desert.

Came upon a waterhole
and we let him drink first.

Water was poisoned.

Plane up and died, ma'am.

It left us in a real fix.

Stranded out here in the middle of nowhere.

Where are your saddles?

Well, they got so heavy we
dropped them way, way back.

We don't even have any water ma'am.

Anything else you care to add?

No, ma'am.
That's about as sincere as we can get.

All right.

Get in.

Then we're sure indebted, ma'am.

Ah, just...

leave the hardware up here, boys.

Yes, ma'am.

Anything to oblige a lady.

Now, why don't you rest a spell -

let me take the reins?

Not yet.

We still got a good half day's ride
before we get where we're going.

A half day?
Well!

Easy.
Whoa, yeah.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Jesse - I brought company!

My husband broke his leg
a couple of weeks ago.

About the time the fences
started breaking down.

Sure is a nice isolated spot you got here.

Maybe you'll change our luck.
Make people start dropping by.

Ah, well.
Now, that is a possibility.

Hello.
Belle!

How do you feel?
Oh, fine.

Where are the girls?
Out...

chasing a mountain lion, I think they said.

Jesse - this is Thaddeus Jones
and Joshua Smith.

They lost their horses.

Yes sir.
We're beholden to your wife, sir.

Lost you horses?

A poisoned water, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, how can we help you out?

I'm afraid I don't have any spare horses.

Oh, that's a shame, all right.

We can put them up here

until I go back into Buckton for supplies. Can't we?

How soon will that be, ma'am?

Well it's a full day's ride -

Belle won't be going in again
for another two weeks.

Oh, another two weeks would be -
just about fine sir.

Here your boys - God's lemonade.

Thank you, ma'am.

We can pay for our keep though.

Ever done any ranch work?

Oh, a lot of ranch work.

Good.
We keep a small herd -

a little too dry out here
to keep a a big one.

Not much to do right now
except fence work.

You help us out and we'll call it square.

Got yourself a deal.

We really should pay you.

We go get the rest of the supplies.

Briget?!

Beth?!

We've got company!

Girls, where are you?

What are you doing under there?

Come out of there immediately.

I got somebody I want you to meet,

and mind your manners!

Briget - Beth -

This is Mr. Joshua Smith
and Mr. Thaddeus Jones.

They'll be staying with us for a while.

Now, say how do you do

so they'll know you're little girls
instead of wild anmials.

How do you do.

Howdy.

How do you do.

All right. Go wash up now.

How old are they, ma'am?

Twelve and fourteen.

Well, they seem like real nice little girls.

Girls?!
Cowboys!

They run so wild out here!

All they can think of is riding
horses and shooting rifles.

'tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,

'tis the gift to come down
where we ought to be,

and when we find ourselves
in the place just right

'twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,

to bow and to bend we will not be ashamed.

To turn to turn will be our delight,

and by turning, turning
we come 'round right.

You sing very well.

Well, it used to settle the Longhorns
on those drives from Texas.

Belle misses music - good times.

She wants us to go to Sunday School,
and wear dresses.

Well now, Missy,

there's nothing wrong with being
ladies and wearing dresses.

No, Mama.

There's also nothing wrong
with getting ones beauty sleep.

I think it's time for that, now.

Yes, Mama.
Yes, Mama.

Good night.
Good night.

I sent all the way to Denver for those.

Are you like 'em?

Fine. Mighty fine.
Yeah.

Yeah, man's got to have a few luxuries.

A woman, too.

There aren't too many out here.

What made you move out here, Mr. Jordan?

I felt tied down being a schoolteacher,

and this place was really green
the year we bought it.

Droughts turned out to be the
normal conditions around here.

It's the girls, we're worried about.

This place wouldn't be up for
sale if it wasn't for them.

I'm afraid they're gonna be lost out here.

Wouldn't be so bad if they were boys but...

out here they're turning into
wild savage Apaches.

Well, maybe you...

could get a teaching job back
in Denver or someplace?

That's what I plan to do,

if I can ever sell this place.

We need a stake to get settle there.

It helps.

We don't want to go, Papa.

Not anywhere.

Yes, you do!

Now you go back to sleep!

Can't be a drover all your life, fellas!

What are you doing?

Can't let a lady shoot alone, can ya?

I can.

Morning ma'am.
Good morning!

Good morning.

Oh, morning Mr. Jones.
Mornin'.

You ladies always start your
day off this way?

'less were bulldogging or
swapping or something.

Think you can do any better?

Hey - I never said word.

Yeah, but I know what you were thinking.

What's the matter - scared?

No, I'm not very good with a rifle.

Neither am I.

You just saw it yourself.

She can't hardly hit anything.

Like to have a contest?

10 cents a can?

We owe you 10 cents for
every one she misses and...

you owe us 10 cents for every one she hits.

You got 10 cents a can?

Sure. We get 10 cents allowance every week.

Fire away.

You owe us a dollar.

Now it's my turn.

Oh, wait a minute!

I don't think I can afford both of you ladies.

Girls, there's an art to this kind of thing.

Now, if you plan to skin somebody,
you just don't bludgeon in.

You gotta try a little finesse.

You any good with that revolver?

What this?

Oh well, this?
A little better than with a rifle.

I figure I...can usually
pick off a rattlesnake on

the fourth or fifth shot.

Mom, says it's not nice
for girls to use handguns.

She doesn't even like us
to fool with rifles.

But Pa took our side.

Come on. Show us what you can do.

Naw, no. I'd be embarrassed.

20 cents a can?

Really?

Give you a chance to win some of your

money back.

Yeah...

or lose some more of it?

Depends on whether you're any good.

Go ahead.

Try.

All right.

What have I got to lose?

A dollar twenty.

You owe me 20 cents.

Now on listen to your mother,

girls shouldn't fool around with handguns.

Oh, come on.
I didn't say a thing.

Hi, we've brought you lunch!

Now, that's service!

It's too hot to eat here! Get on!

Alrighty.
Alright.

You always hang upside
down like that during lunch?

Sometimes.

What's that?

Apple.
I baked it.

Thank you, Bridget.

That's good.

Thank you.

It's a nice spot you got here.

Have you ever been to Denver?

Why Denver?

Mom wants us to move there.

She says it's beautiful.

She's right.

Got the greatest hotel
there you've ever seen.

Called the Brown Palace.

You look right up through the
center of it to see the top floor.

Joshua...

will you teach me that song?

Sure.

You sing it pretty well though.

Not very well.

Alrighty.

follow me.

'tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,

'tis the gift to come down
where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves
in the place just right

'twill be in the valley
of love and delight.

'tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,

'tis the gift to come down
where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves
in the place just right

'twill be in the valley
of love and delight.

Hey!

Hey there! Come on out!
I wanna talk to you!

Come on out!

You know him?

Looks like he's wearing a badge.

Is he from Buckton?

No, if he was I'd recognize him.

I'm Sheriff Morrison...

there won't be any trouble
if you just come out talk.

You hear me?

Good morning.

What can I do for you?

Mornin'.

I'm Sheriff Morrison from Diablo Wells.

Well, you're a long way from home, Sheriff.

I'm not gonna waste words, ma'am.

We've been watching
the house with binoculars.

We know, you've got two outlaws in there.

We want them!

Outlaws?

Now the place is surrounded, ma'am.

There's 13 of us.

No way they can get out.

You turn 'em over to his peaceful

and we'll be on our way.

What outlaws are you talking about?

You know, who I'm talking about!

Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes!

Now we know they're in there -

there's no sense in lying about it!

Now how about it, ma'am?

You gonna turn 'em over to us peaceful-like?

Or do we take 'em with gunfire?

Please wait.

All right, we'll wait.

For a while.
Not for long.

You told to remember
the place is surrounded.

They know how many of us there are.

Thirteen.

And we're all still here.

Are you Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry?

Ma'am, it's a real temptation to lie
to you and tell you that we aren't

Then we'd have to go out there
and convince that posse.

and they know better.

He's Hannibal Heyes, I'm Kid Curry.

Are there really 13 men in it posse?

Well, there was the last time we counted

just three days ago.

What are we gonna do, boys?

We have the girls here.

We're gonna have to turn you over to them.

Pa...
can't we hide them?

Now, you'll think about that.

Where would you hide us, huh?

He's right, girls.

There's one thing you could do.

What that?

You go out to that sheriff out there

and tell him that we're your prisoners.

That you plan on turning us in
to the sheriff in Buckton.

Oh, why would I do that?!

Because we're worth $10,000 a piece, ma'am.

And that's $20,000.

I'd rather have you and
Jessie have the money then...

this fellas out there.

Papa..
they'll hang them.

Won't, no. They won't hang us.

We never murdered anyone.

They just want to put us away for 20 years.

No, sorry boys we couldn't do that.

You're foolish, if you don't
take that money, ma'am.

You said yourself,

you want to get the girls out of this house.

Now's your chance to do it.

We couldn't touch it, knowing how we got it.

Somebody's gonna get it.

We'd feel a little better if it was you.

I'm sorry we can't do that.

You shouldn't ask that of us, boys.

Well...
all right Kid,

that gives us another choice -

trying to make a run for it out the back.

Oh, you can't do that -
they'll shoot you down!

Oh well, posses could never
shoot straight, ma'am.

Of course, some - have.

Come on Kid, let's give it a try.

All right, all right, boys - you win.

If somebody's gonna make $20,000
of you, it might as well be us.

Belle, go out there and do what he said.

Girls - get some rope. Quick tie us up.

Don't let them talk you out of anything.

We're your prisoners and that's that!

Come on, girls, come on!

I can't...

Yes, you can, Beth. Come on,
tie it up. Make it look good.

That's it.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Sheriff,

but I had to talk it over with my husband.

Talk over what?

We do have Curry and Heyes in here

but there are our prisoners not yours.

I plan on taking them into Buckton

and turn them over to the sheriff there.

Your prisoners?

When did you decide that, lady?

Well, that doesn't matter.

They are prisoners that's what counts.

How come you're eating breakfast

with 'em in there all nice and cozy like.

Well now, just because they
robbed a bank or two

doesn't mean they don't
deserve decent treatment.

And you're gonna claim
the reward! Right, ma'am?

Naturally.

Now you listen to me, lady!

We've been trailing those
fellows for over a week!

I don't care how long you've
been trailing 'em, Sheriff.

My husband and I put them under arrest.

All right, lady -

I'm gonna check out what you say.

If anything goes wrong,

my boys and I gonna shoot up this place!

You've no call to come into my house.

That may be.

For all I know, them fellas
are holding a gun on

your husband and the rest of your family!

So, we're coming in!

Well, that sounds reasonable enough -

if you just keep your guns
in your holsters, please.

Howdy, Sheriff.

What kept you?

All right, ma'am,

maybe you were telling the truth...

Tell the boys they can go home.

Give my apologies.

Tell them I'll try to make it up
to them some other time.

You've got yourselves a couple
of very profitable prisoners.

I hope you're ready to get
start right now, ma'am -

'cause my deputy and me
gonna escort 'em into Buckton.

Are you implying that my wife

doesn't intend to take 'em
into Buckton, Sheriff?

Maybe.

Anyhow, if I haven't got the
satisfaction of making the arrest,

I'm gonna be there to see them locked up.

So, anytime you're ready
to start we'll be fine.

Sheriff - just one question?

Do you have an Apache with you?

How do you know that?

Bridget, Beth,

you'll be sure and look
after your dad till I get back.

Yes, mama.

Bye, Bridget.
Write me a letter sometime.

You too, Beth.

All right, Jim. Let's move it out, huh.

Come on, back! Back!

Kid,

you get the feeling those people
up there are on our side?

I get the feeling that if we
made a run for that horse

they might just cover us.

Let's see if you're right.
Come on!

Must be the entire Devil's Hole gang.

All right, girls -
that will be enough.

Heyes?
Huh?

I don't suppose there's any question
of who was firing those rifles?

Nope.

Yeah. I suppose there's any
question but that they're in trouble.

Nope.

Should we do something about that?

Nope. I don't think we should.

Fortunately your wiser, calmer
mind prevails on such occasions.

I hope so.

After all - they don't gonna
hang those little girls.

Are you sure?

After a month or so they won't be in

any more trouble then we're in right now.

So we'll just stay on this train
we'll get to a decent town.

Then we'll get a stake -

and we'll come back and see
just how much trouble they're in.

Hang little girls?

Who is it?

Thaddeus and Joshua.

What are you two boys doin' back here?

We missed all your good home cooking.

Oh, come on in. Quick!

Hello, Jesse.
Jesse!

We thought you'd be in California by now.

We almost were.
Yes.

Hey, there!

Joshua!

Oh, I thought I'd never see you!

You didn't even write!

Well, we got a little busy.

My, you girls do looked up.

Are you gonna stay?
Ah, girls, girls leave them alone.

Go pull the curtains in the back, will you?

Come on, sit down boys.

Looks like you've been riding all night.

Yeah. A couple of days, too.

With pangs of conscience all the way.

We didn't know what kind of trouble
you may have left you folks in.

If any?

We got arrested.

Mom, got arrested, too.

Yeah? For what?

Everything!

Aiding and abetting fugitives from the law,

conspiring to defraud a
legally constituted posse,

interfering with a peace officer in the

carring out of his duty and -

attempted murder.

Murder?!

We weren't trying to kill anybody.

Just see you safe.

With a list like that,
how come aren't all in jail?

Well, they let us out on bail.

They're gonna wait and try us when...

Jesse can walk without crutches.

We have to wear dresses in court.
Yeah.

Belle - how can we make this up to you?

Well, now what jury in
this part of the country

is gonna do anything to Beth and Bridget?

Yeah, but what about you?

Well - maybe they'll go easy on me, too.

They think Belle planned the whole thing.

Well, there is one way
out of this, you know?

What's that?

The same way we suggested before.

You turn us in, we clear you.

We know there was no conspiracy.

Are you willing to do that?

Well...
No, ma'am.

Ah, not exactly willing, ma'am, no.

Well, then why did you make the offer?

Because we couldn't think of anything better.

Juries are hard to predict, boys.

Maybe they'll let Belle off.

Or they'll give her a short sentence -

three months, six months at the most.

That's the way she sees it.

Still a long time.

Compared to 20 years?

Jessie and I've already talked it over.

We knew you boys would be back.

Oh, you knew we'd be back?

We figured you would.

And Belle decided she wasn't willing

for you to give up 20 years apiece,

just to save her a few months.

It's not worth it.

Well, I'm afraid we're gonna
disappoint you folks.

How?

I'm afraid we're gonna agree with you.

And that is if you really think that
they're gonna let Belle off easy.

and maybe even scot-free.

Good. Then it's all settled.

Now, are you hungry?

Well, I hate to admit it,
but the answer is yes -

in spite of our pangs of conscience.

Bridget, you go start mixing
up some flapjack batter. Yes.

Beth, you slice some bacon.

We're all gonna have ourselves
a welcome home party.

All right.

I'll drink to that.

...and gentlemen of the jury

I am sure you will agree

that Jezebel is too kind
to term to apply here.

You've heard testimony

indicating that beyond any reasonable doubt,

she encouraged the two young daughters

to commit acts close to murder

against men representing the law.

The evidence clearly indicates
the nature of the conspiracy,

and the conclusion of moral
turpitude is inescapable.

Belle Jordan in the most shameful way

tried to cheat Sheriff Morrison and
his posse out of their prisoners,

and allowed them to escape.

And indeed those two
wanted outlaws did escape.

There can be no doubt in your minds

these ladies are guilty, guilty and guilty.

However, I'm not a vindictive man.

And I'm willing to accept the
fact that these two young girls

are entitled to a second chance.

I ask you not to deal too harshly with them.

But as for their mother,

it is your duty to find her guilty -

and the duty of this court
to impose upon her

the maximum penalty allowed under the law.

That concludes my summation, Your Honor.

Jury, you've heard the defense -

heard the prosecution.

Now remember,

it isn't your job to decide
on anything but the facts.

By the facts, as presented

are the defendants guilty or not?

Now go out and get your verdict.

Court we'll take a recess.

How does it look?

You never can tell about a jury.

But if they really do go just by the facts

instead of by what they think is right

well that's not good.

Mom? What's a Jezebel?

Hey, jury is coming back.

Hey, jury's back!

Gimme that gun!

You go to jail - move!
Wait a minute!

Whatcha doin'? Lemme go!

C'mon lemme go! I wanna hear the verdict.

Hey, where you takin' me?

Hey, c'mon you can't do this to me!

Oh, yes. I can!

I was just havin' some fun!

Get in there!

Everybody rise.

Take your seats.

Jury - what's your verdict?

Well, Your Honor,

because of their age, we find the
girls innocent of all charges.

But their Ma

she's guilty as charged.

You girls - I'm putting you in
the custody of your father.

And you Mr. Jordan,

I hope you're a better influence
than your wife's been.

Belle Jordan, you stand up.

I'm sorry I agree with the jury, Mrs. Jordan.

I've got no choice

but to sentence you to three years
in the State women's prison.

This trial is concluded.

Your Honor -

can I say something?

Your Honor - this is Kid Curry!

All right. You're under arrest!

Is that true?
You're Kid Curry?

Yes sir, Your Honor, I am -

I'm here to turn myself in -

and testify for Mrs. Jordan.

Well, you're too late - the trial is over.

I should have spoken up
sooner I know, Your Honor -

but I must admit, I wanted to wait
and see what you decided.

And I'm ready now to tell the true story.

All right - swear him in.

Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

so help you God?

I do.

State your full name.

Jedediah Curry.

Be seated.

All right - go ahead...

Well, Your Honor,

I happen to know, because I was there,

that Belle Jordan was completely unaware

of what her daughter's intended to do.

She truly and honestly meant to turn us in.

When the girls started shooting

she was as surprised as anybody else.

So I feel that the jury's
come to the wrong verdict.

You here voluntarily, Mr. Curry?

Yes.

No duress?

No, Sir.

In view of the fact that this
young man has given himself up,

and is gonna spend the
rest of his life in prison for it,

I think we have to believe what he says.

So, if it's all right with you
members of the jury

I'm setting aside your verdict.

It's all right with us, Your Honor.

By the way young fella

what states are you wanted in?

Only in Wyoming, Your Honor.

All right, Sheriff.
Put him in jail.

Notify the Wyoming authorities

to come down here and get him
and bring the proper papers.

Belle Jordan,

I believe this court owes you an apology.

But you've got to admit,

the way the evidence was
presented made you look guilty.

Charges are dismissed.

This court is adjourned.

Oh, hey, stop it now.

You shouldn't have done it, Thaddeus.

But I'm not surprised you did.

I'll bake you an apple pie.

Come on, Curry - they can visit you in jail.

I want to put you away fast.

Thaddeus - where's Joshua?

Well, we figured that since we both
wouldn't have to turn ourselves in,

that we'd flip a coin.

Here I am.

Let's go.

Go find Clyde come down here fast.

I want that front door locked
and I don't want no visitors.

Nobody comes in if I'm not here, understand?

I'm holding you inclined responsible.

Don't worry about us, Sheriff.
We'll sit up with him all night long.

Play another?

ah... bet I could beat you...

You'd just love to get that close
to one of us, wouldn't you?

So, you can try one of your tricks.

Hey Fellas,

my partner Hannibal Heyes
does the tricks, not me.

Don't move a hair, boys -

'cause I don't want to kill you.

That's my partner boys, Hannibal Heyes,
who does the tricks.

What's that?

I don't know...

By the time you read this

we hope we'll both be on our way south -

or maybe north.

We want to make up for all
the trouble we've caused.

Go look in the cookie jar -

there should be enough there
to get the four of you to Denver

before it's too late...

Joshua and Thaddeus.

Mama! There's almost $1,000 here.

P.S. We came by the money fairly honestly...

What's the matter?

I got rid of my mustache...

what's of get rid of yours?

I'll think about it.