Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 44 - Apple Wedding - full transcript
Root Beer Guy: Root Beer Guy works a boring job during the day and tries to write mystery stories at night. But his life is about to change when he witnesses Finn and Jake kidnapping Princess Bubblegum! There's only one problem: no one believes Root Beer Guy... / Apple Wedding: You are cordially invited to the Wedding of the Year: Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig are getting married!
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Cinnamon Bun!
What the heck are you
doing out in the woods?
I asked you 20 minutes ago to
take these drinks around for us.
Oh. Oh!
"Around for us"!
I thought you said "Walk
to the zoo and back."
Gah!
Finn,
Cinnamon Bun's gonna
tend the juice bar now.
I have a special job for you.
As Ooo's greatest champion,
I'm relying on you to keep
Lumpy Space Princess from
crashing this wedding.
I went ahead and deputized you,
so, you know, no holds barred.
Got it?
Yeah!
Oh. But what about Jake?
Well, honestly, I haven't seen
Jake this happy in a while.
I kind of don't want
to squash his groove.
Hands off, little piggies!
Knock knock!
Hey, Tree Trunks!
Oh, hey, Princess.
Wow!
You look prettier than a
sippy cup in a snow bank.
Thanks, Tree Trunks.
Now listen... I don't want
you to worry about a thing.
I've got Finn on LSP duty, and
we're keeping your ex-husbands,
Randy, Danny, and Wyatt, 100
feet apart at all times,
at least until it's time for
me to perform the ceremony.
Oh, well, uh, Princess...
I appreciate your generosity,
going to all this trouble to
hijack my wedding and all,
but you can't perform
the ceremony.
What?!
Why not?
Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't
recognize your "authority"
on such matters.
I can only be married
by his holiness,
the one true king of Ooo.
What?!
That fraud?!
Now, I know his teachings...
That fraud is here?!
Uh, why, yes, but...
Oh, dear.
Mama, I'm afraid I've
offended the Princess.
Oh, nonsense, baby.
She's probably just jealous
'cause you're about to marry
such a handsome,
fine, saucy man!
Oh, but he is a saucy
fine bolog-nah factory!
Mm-hmm!
I'll tell you what.
I'd like to open up that hood,
see how the bolog-nah gets made!
Mm!
Mama, please!
Please don't call him a saucy,
fine bolog-nah factory!
Bolog-nah factory!
Oh! My perfect day!
What else could go wrong?
Please go on... describe
the next "Thought-form."
Um... l see, like,
reddish-green blotches.
Ah! Ha ha ha!
One year good luck.
I've waited a long time
for this, king of Ooo.
And now I'm gonna expose you in
front of everyone for
what you really are.
Yay!
H-hey, barkeep, can I have
another one of these ciders?
Sure!
Hey, little robot,
how you doing?
I am the best!
I love weddings, I love flowers,
I love I-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove!
Hey, did you know I used to
be married to Tree Trunks?
N-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Heh, yeah.
It was just me and T.T.
We had some wild times
back in the day.
Did you know I once took
her to play tennis?
N-o-o-o-o!
Yep. Tennis.
I took her to one of those,
uh... paddles or
whatever, you know?
No.
Yeah, she left me.
She said I was
stifling her spirit.
I mean...
You know, what... Not
enough tennis for you?
No...
It's starting!
The ceremony is starting!
♪ La ♪
Oh, no!
I'm missing the love!
No!
Uh... please, stay here.
This is cathartic.
You're a good listener.
Oh.
Okay.
Sweetie, you look so nice.
Shh.
Sounds really sweet.
Lumpy Space Princess?
Is that you?
Let me go to this part-y-y-y!
Aah!
It's not your party, LSP.
Poor Finn.
Don't you know?
Every party...
is my Party!
I'm just gonna look
in this guy's blimp,
make sure everything's
in accordance...
with the laws.
Psst!
Sweetie, what're you doing'?
Hmm?
Get out of my way, Finn!
Oh, my glob!
You're touching my woman's body!
Okay, dear.
Now up you come.
Don't hurry this.
Here we go.
Whoa, whoa, kids!
Got to finish the
ceremony first.
Keep the baby in the basket.
Everyone at the party get ready
'cause here comes a
hot bunch of grapes!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Oh, my glob!
We've gathered here on
this beautiful day,
under my life-giving sun,
to celebrate the
enjointment of Mr. Pig
and Tree Trunks, the
little elephant.
These two weird animals first...
Oh, I bet some cute weddings
are happening over there.
BMO, you're so nice.
Those flowers look really cool.
Oh, I've had a hard life.
People seem cute.
They seem nice.
But then when you can't stop
crying because they beat you
at tennis that one time,
they call you a baby!
Yeah, cute nice babies.
BMO?
Mm-hmm?
BMO, would you move in with me?
Do you, Mr. Pig take Tree Trunks
to be your ever-wedded wife,
forever following the
teachings of me,
the true king of Ooo?
I do.
And do you, Tree Trunks...
do you promise to love Mr.
Pig forever
and spend the next five years
with me in my serenity compound,
performing simple
household repairs,
to have and to hold, in
sickness and in health,
in my gated mountain compound?
I...
everybody get ready...
to pay attention to me!
I-I-I-I-I-I...
I-I-I-I-I-I'd-
Oh!
Ev-everybody! Hey!
I'm here!
Look at my bouq...
Unh!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Ahh!
My Zep!
Everybody, this
wedding is a farce!
A criminal farce!
Hey, just what are
you egging at here?
I'll tell you what
I'm egging at.
I'm egging at this outdated
wedding-officiant license!
Oh!
Oh, is that what this is about?
You must've found that
in my back records.
I have the up-to-date
paperwork right here.
Oh!
What?
Uh...
Hey, wait.
How did you get that?
I could've swore it
was locked in my zep.
Nope! Shh!
Nope' nope, nope!
Stop talking! Go to jail!
Oh!
Yeah.
Princess Bubblegum, you
have gone too far.
We stand together
against your tyranny.
Hey, everybody.
Your prison may hold one of us,
but it may not hold all of us.
Oh, poor Tree Trunks.
Wait. Where's my mama?
Has anyone see my...
Oh!
No, mama!
Well, I guess this
is it, sweetie.
Oh. Oh, no.
The elephant graveyard
is calling to me now.
Okay, hold your horses.
I'm comin'.
Wait, Tree Trunks!
Look around!
Everyone we care about
is all here together.
Finn, Uncle Donald,
Banana Guard ♪1, Jake,
Jake Jr., everybody!
We could have the
ceremony right here.
Hey, yeah!
King of Ooo, will
you do the honors?
Are you crazy?!
That loopy bird is gonna
string me up sideways!
You can perform your
own dang ceremony!
Oh. Oh, dear.
Oh, my gosh.
Tree Trunks, did you hear?
Huh?
The king said you could perform
your own dang ceremony.
Yeah, that really stung.
But...
but... the king's word is law.
I can perform my
own dang ceremony?
Are you up to it, T.T.?
I'll try.
I guess it's time.
A-are you ready?
Oh, okay. Urn, uh...
Do you, Mr. Pig, take
me, Tree Trunks,
to be your beautiful
wedded wife?
I do.
And do I, Mr. Pig, take him to
be your lawful wedded husband,
Tree Trunks?
I do.
Then, you...
you may kiss the bride.
Mwah!
Oh, geez.
Let 'em all go, Banana Guard ♪3.
Uh... what?
I just can't stay mad
at something so cute.
Did she just say
"Let everyone go"?
Looks like we've got the
whole place to ourselves,
if you know what I'm saying.
Wait. D-don't you think there
might be cameras down here?
I hope so.
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
This party is so crazy!
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Cinnamon Bun!
What the heck are you
doing out in the woods?
I asked you 20 minutes ago to
take these drinks around for us.
Oh. Oh!
"Around for us"!
I thought you said "Walk
to the zoo and back."
Gah!
Finn,
Cinnamon Bun's gonna
tend the juice bar now.
I have a special job for you.
As Ooo's greatest champion,
I'm relying on you to keep
Lumpy Space Princess from
crashing this wedding.
I went ahead and deputized you,
so, you know, no holds barred.
Got it?
Yeah!
Oh. But what about Jake?
Well, honestly, I haven't seen
Jake this happy in a while.
I kind of don't want
to squash his groove.
Hands off, little piggies!
Knock knock!
Hey, Tree Trunks!
Oh, hey, Princess.
Wow!
You look prettier than a
sippy cup in a snow bank.
Thanks, Tree Trunks.
Now listen... I don't want
you to worry about a thing.
I've got Finn on LSP duty, and
we're keeping your ex-husbands,
Randy, Danny, and Wyatt, 100
feet apart at all times,
at least until it's time for
me to perform the ceremony.
Oh, well, uh, Princess...
I appreciate your generosity,
going to all this trouble to
hijack my wedding and all,
but you can't perform
the ceremony.
What?!
Why not?
Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't
recognize your "authority"
on such matters.
I can only be married
by his holiness,
the one true king of Ooo.
What?!
That fraud?!
Now, I know his teachings...
That fraud is here?!
Uh, why, yes, but...
Oh, dear.
Mama, I'm afraid I've
offended the Princess.
Oh, nonsense, baby.
She's probably just jealous
'cause you're about to marry
such a handsome,
fine, saucy man!
Oh, but he is a saucy
fine bolog-nah factory!
Mm-hmm!
I'll tell you what.
I'd like to open up that hood,
see how the bolog-nah gets made!
Mm!
Mama, please!
Please don't call him a saucy,
fine bolog-nah factory!
Bolog-nah factory!
Oh! My perfect day!
What else could go wrong?
Please go on... describe
the next "Thought-form."
Um... l see, like,
reddish-green blotches.
Ah! Ha ha ha!
One year good luck.
I've waited a long time
for this, king of Ooo.
And now I'm gonna expose you in
front of everyone for
what you really are.
Yay!
H-hey, barkeep, can I have
another one of these ciders?
Sure!
Hey, little robot,
how you doing?
I am the best!
I love weddings, I love flowers,
I love I-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove!
Hey, did you know I used to
be married to Tree Trunks?
N-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Heh, yeah.
It was just me and T.T.
We had some wild times
back in the day.
Did you know I once took
her to play tennis?
N-o-o-o-o!
Yep. Tennis.
I took her to one of those,
uh... paddles or
whatever, you know?
No.
Yeah, she left me.
She said I was
stifling her spirit.
I mean...
You know, what... Not
enough tennis for you?
No...
It's starting!
The ceremony is starting!
♪ La ♪
Oh, no!
I'm missing the love!
No!
Uh... please, stay here.
This is cathartic.
You're a good listener.
Oh.
Okay.
Sweetie, you look so nice.
Shh.
Sounds really sweet.
Lumpy Space Princess?
Is that you?
Let me go to this part-y-y-y!
Aah!
It's not your party, LSP.
Poor Finn.
Don't you know?
Every party...
is my Party!
I'm just gonna look
in this guy's blimp,
make sure everything's
in accordance...
with the laws.
Psst!
Sweetie, what're you doing'?
Hmm?
Get out of my way, Finn!
Oh, my glob!
You're touching my woman's body!
Okay, dear.
Now up you come.
Don't hurry this.
Here we go.
Whoa, whoa, kids!
Got to finish the
ceremony first.
Keep the baby in the basket.
Everyone at the party get ready
'cause here comes a
hot bunch of grapes!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Oh, my glob!
We've gathered here on
this beautiful day,
under my life-giving sun,
to celebrate the
enjointment of Mr. Pig
and Tree Trunks, the
little elephant.
These two weird animals first...
Oh, I bet some cute weddings
are happening over there.
BMO, you're so nice.
Those flowers look really cool.
Oh, I've had a hard life.
People seem cute.
They seem nice.
But then when you can't stop
crying because they beat you
at tennis that one time,
they call you a baby!
Yeah, cute nice babies.
BMO?
Mm-hmm?
BMO, would you move in with me?
Do you, Mr. Pig take Tree Trunks
to be your ever-wedded wife,
forever following the
teachings of me,
the true king of Ooo?
I do.
And do you, Tree Trunks...
do you promise to love Mr.
Pig forever
and spend the next five years
with me in my serenity compound,
performing simple
household repairs,
to have and to hold, in
sickness and in health,
in my gated mountain compound?
I...
everybody get ready...
to pay attention to me!
I-I-I-I-I-I...
I-I-I-I-I-I'd-
Oh!
Ev-everybody! Hey!
I'm here!
Look at my bouq...
Unh!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Ahh!
My Zep!
Everybody, this
wedding is a farce!
A criminal farce!
Hey, just what are
you egging at here?
I'll tell you what
I'm egging at.
I'm egging at this outdated
wedding-officiant license!
Oh!
Oh, is that what this is about?
You must've found that
in my back records.
I have the up-to-date
paperwork right here.
Oh!
What?
Uh...
Hey, wait.
How did you get that?
I could've swore it
was locked in my zep.
Nope! Shh!
Nope' nope, nope!
Stop talking! Go to jail!
Oh!
Yeah.
Princess Bubblegum, you
have gone too far.
We stand together
against your tyranny.
Hey, everybody.
Your prison may hold one of us,
but it may not hold all of us.
Oh, poor Tree Trunks.
Wait. Where's my mama?
Has anyone see my...
Oh!
No, mama!
Well, I guess this
is it, sweetie.
Oh. Oh, no.
The elephant graveyard
is calling to me now.
Okay, hold your horses.
I'm comin'.
Wait, Tree Trunks!
Look around!
Everyone we care about
is all here together.
Finn, Uncle Donald,
Banana Guard ♪1, Jake,
Jake Jr., everybody!
We could have the
ceremony right here.
Hey, yeah!
King of Ooo, will
you do the honors?
Are you crazy?!
That loopy bird is gonna
string me up sideways!
You can perform your
own dang ceremony!
Oh. Oh, dear.
Oh, my gosh.
Tree Trunks, did you hear?
Huh?
The king said you could perform
your own dang ceremony.
Yeah, that really stung.
But...
but... the king's word is law.
I can perform my
own dang ceremony?
Are you up to it, T.T.?
I'll try.
I guess it's time.
A-are you ready?
Oh, okay. Urn, uh...
Do you, Mr. Pig, take
me, Tree Trunks,
to be your beautiful
wedded wife?
I do.
And do I, Mr. Pig, take him to
be your lawful wedded husband,
Tree Trunks?
I do.
Then, you...
you may kiss the bride.
Mwah!
Oh, geez.
Let 'em all go, Banana Guard ♪3.
Uh... what?
I just can't stay mad
at something so cute.
Did she just say
"Let everyone go"?
Looks like we've got the
whole place to ourselves,
if you know what I'm saying.
Wait. D-don't you think there
might be cameras down here?
I hope so.
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
This party is so crazy!