A Nero Wolfe Mystery (2001–2002): Season 2, Episode 5 - Murder Is Corny - full transcript

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not yet?

No, no,
not yet.

Sorry.

Time?

You just glanced
at the clock, there.

What time is it?

6:29.

One minute.

(gonging clock)

I guess my watch is
a couple of seconds slow



or something.
I guess my watch is
a couple of seconds slow

il n'y a rien a faire.

I will
stuff these.

(Archie)
Normally, Nero Wolfe
comes the closest

to being human at dinner.

The conversation can be
anything from women's shoes

to the importance of the new
moon in babylonian astrology.

But tonight there
was only silence.

The summer corn had not come.

(dinging doorbell)

Send it back.

Oh, i'm sorry, we take
deliveries in the rear.

If you were going to
have this for dinner,

i guess it's too late.



Where did you
get that?

Outside the service entrance
atrusterman's restaurant.

Inside, we found
the body of a dead man.

Kenneth Faber, 28 years old.

His driver's license
and some $80 in cash

were still in his wallet.

With a piece of iron pipe.

Thcame in was parked outsid
e.

And inside the station wagon
were nine cartons of corn,

including yours.

He'd been delivering corn
at the restaurant

for the past five weeks,

and then coming
here with yours.

And then coming
his that right?

I don't know.

Ah, the hell you don't.

Don't start
with me, Wolfe.

Hold it, hold it now,
stay in the buggy, there.

As you well know,

mr. Wolfe is always in
the plant rooms between

4:00 and 6:00

every day of the week sunday.

The corn usually
comes before 6:00

so either Fritz or myself
receives it at the door,

mr. Wolfe does not know
Kenneth Faber, but i do.

I thought so.

Archie, will you
help me with this?

No.

No.

This is preposterous!

Aw, will you stop
stalling, Wolfe?

No,
shall i expound it?

If you can.

You know that the corn comes
from a man named duncan mcleod,

who grows it on a farm
just north of here.

He has been
supplying it for four years,

and he knows precisely
what i request.

The corn must
be nearly mature.

And it must be picked not more
than three hours

before i receive it.

Do you eat
sweet corn?

Yeah.

Yeah, i do.

Now, will you
stop stalling?

No!

Who cooks it,
your wife?

Yeah, i don't have a Fritz.

Does she cook
it in water?

Do you cook
yours in beer?

Millions of american women

commit that atrocity
every summer day.

They are turning a superb
treat into mere provender.

Is that so?

Shucked and boiled
in water,

sweet corn is
edible and nutritious.

But roasted in the husk

at the hottest possible
temperature

in an oven for 0 minutes,

table
and buttered and salted,, at the

nothing else.
Mm-hmm.

Ambrosia.

No chef's
ingenuity and talent

ever created a finer dish.

American women themselves
should be boiled in water for...

look, Wolfe, maybe you have
all night, but i have...

my point is
that mr. Mcleod

knows what
i require.

Dispose of this garbage!

Oh, balls.

Wait a minute,
Goodwin.

Where were you at
5:15 this afternoon?

Uh, a ball game
with saul panzer.

Yeah?

What happened
in the ninth inning?

Oh, the ninth inning.

Oh, the hell with it.

You'd know that,
or you'd see to it.

And, of course, panzer
would cover for you.

Yeah, listen, not that
i'm, uh, interested,

but, uh, why do you care?

We found a notebook
in Faber's pocket.

One page had the list of
four men written in pencil:

Max maslow, peter jay,
carl heydt

the first three names had
check marks in front of them.

The last one,

Archie Goodwin,
did not.

Will that do?

Heydt designs
clothes for women.

Yes.

I don't know
maslow or jay.

You been intimate

with the farmer's daughter,
susan mcleod?

(laughing)

Uh, well, there are a lot
of definitions for intimate.

Which one?

You know damn well
which one i prefer.

Well, uh, if you mean
the worst or the very best,

depending on, on how
you view it,

nothing doing, see.

She's a model, she has
some nice points.

I'll tell you this,
she's a lousy dancer.

When did you know that
Kenneth Faber had

shoved you out
and taken sue over?

Your honor, i object
to the question

on the grounds that
it's insulting, impertinent,

and disgusticulous,
because it assumes

that i am shovable...

not only that,
but also i could

be shoved from a place where
i have never been.

Objection sustained.

You will rephrase
the question, mr. Cramer.

The hell i will.

You helped her
find an apartment

not six blocks from here.

What passed between
you and Faber when

he was here
a week ago, today?

Corn... it passed
between him and me.

Okay, you got one minute
to get a toothbrush.

)
Okay, you got one minute
to get a toothbrush. (stammering

yeah,
just l-listen.

You know, i can throw
a slider in a pinch,

and i often do...

this is no
pinch, though.

And, uh, it's getting very
close to, to my bedtime.

Your minute's up.

No, no, this would have
to be very, very good.

Okay, you're under arrest
as a material witness.

Move.

That's good.

If you want me back
tomorrow,

you might give
mr. Parker a ring.

I shall.

Mr. Cramer, i am
sometimes dumbfounded

by your fatuity.

You were so... bent
on baiting mr. Goodwin,

that you completely
ignored the point

that i was
at pains to make:

Who picked the corn?

That's your point.

My point is,
who killed Kenneth Faber?

Move, Goodwin.

Phooey!

(Archie)
Cramer took me to his place,

where we made
a night of it.

What's thnot gourmet enough
for you?

Edible would
have been enough.

Looks like you're going
to be a free man,

your pathetic excuse
for a lawyer is here.

Can't you get
that hat straight?

Arch, they set
the bond at $20,000.

Well, that's, uh,
that's quite a compliment.

Well, they argued for 50.

They actuay think you may
have killed that man.

Crime of passion
inspired by that wom.

Well, from what i gathered
from their questioning,

tement.

They won't tell me
what it is, though.

I told the judge that that
amount would only be justified

if they had enough evidence
to charge you with murder.

The judge agreed
and let it stand.

Mm, yeah, well,

they won't
and they can't.

Well, as your
counselor, Archie...

yes.

Be prepared to be charged
at any given moment.

Oh, and one
more thing, Archie,

mr. Wolfe told me to send
my bill to you, not to him.

Well, the bond for
20,000 is not peanuts,

uh, the buck. Ass,

well, it's your
affair, not his.

It's absolutely of no concern
to him whatsoever.

Yes, well, he hasn't even
met Faber or susan, so.

Yeah, well.

Ah, mr. Mcleod,
good morning.

It's not a good morning,
it's a bad one!

A lost day, and
no one to see to things.

I haven't even done
the milking.

(sighing)

(knocking)

(ringing doorbell)

Just a minute.

(ringing)

Just a minute.

Oh, pardon.

Pardon my manners, Fritz,
i've had quite the night.

Archie, you
look terrible.

(sighing)

Is something stirring?

A woman to see you,
miss susan mcleod.

She's in the office.

Has, has he
talked to her?

No... he would not.

He would not.

Have you eaten?

If you could see the bacon
and eggs they brought in

for me last night
that i paid two bucks for,

you would never be the same.

They, uh,
think i killed Faber.

For your information,
i did not.

?
For your information,
i did not. You slept

no.

Now, i understand
i have a caller.

May i take her
into the front room?

I'm not intimate enough with
her to take her up to my room.

As you told parker,
this is my affair.

Old cramer was flummery?
T

none, all straight.

But he's on me
and so's the d.a.

And i got to find out why.

You will see miss mcleod
in the office.

No, i'm going to see
her in the front room.

It'll be an hour,
maybe two hours.

You'll be
out of your chair.

You may have to
use the telephone.

The office.

(Archie)
If i hadn't been pooped,

i would have given tha
offer a little attention.

Archie, i don't know what
you're going to do to me.

Yeah,
neither do i.

It just came out.

You remember, you explained
it for me one night

about my just saying things

and not having
a checking station?

Ah, yes, yes, i said that,
with most people,

when words start
on their way out,

they have to go through
a checking station

to get an okay,

but you seem to have
a loose connection

as it often gets bypassed.

Well, i'm just
plain dumb.

It just came out,

about my going to meet
you there, yesterday.

Meet me where?

(susan)
At the delivery entrance
atrusterman's.

I said i was going to
meet you there at 5:00,

and we were goin' to
have a little talk

with kenny,
but i was late.

I didn't get there 'til
a quarter past five

and you weren't
there, so i left.

I see,
and you told that to?

Several people.

Uh-huh,
detectives, cops?

Uh-huh, and it was
in the statement

they had me sign.

You know, it's just
possible that you are dumb.

I mean, didn't
you realize

that they
would come to see me?

Well, of course, and you
would deny it,

and you could probably
prove you were somewhere else,

so it wouldn't matter.

Okay, but you're not
dumb, all right?

But, if you got
there at quarter past five,

then you did see kenny,
didn't you?

Yes.

I ran away.

I didn't stop to think 'til
i was several blocks away

how dumb that was.

What, what,
why was it dumb?

Well, i couldn't say
i hadn't been there.

Felix and the doorman
saw me arrive.

What was it that we wanted
to talk to him about?

We were going to talk
to him about what he told you,

that i thought i was pregnant
and he was responsible.

He told me that?

When?

You know when.

Last tuesday
when he brought the corn.

Ken Faber told you that he
told me that you thought

you were pregnant
and that he was responsible?

He told me he told
carl, too,

and peter jay
and max maslow, too.

That was when i told him
i would like to kill him.

And that's what
you told the cops

we wanted to talk
to him about?

Yes!

Well, for a frame,
it's nearly perfect,

but i'm willing to doubt
that you meant it.

Don't you see?

It's my word
against yours.

They told me last
night that

you denied that
we arranged to meet there.

Uh, because we didn't.

Well, i was hoping
you might change that. We didn't.

The way it is now,

they think either
i'm lying or you're lying.

I haven't got an alibi, see,
not one that would stick.

But you could tell them that
you arranged to meet me there

but then changed your
mind because...

shut up!

Shut up.

(sobbing)

Hey, whoa!

Archie, what are
you doing?

You didn't
have to do that.

The hell i didn't.

Whether you
meant to or not,

i am out on a very
rickety limb.

But, Archie, you...

did you kill ken?

No.

Ggle
off by selling

which is not my style, on you,

or i do something which is
my style: I do a job.

I call Wolfe, i tell him
i'm taking a leave of absence...

hopefully a short one...

and then you start by
telling me every...

a job that is
your style?

I should have known.

He was listening
through the peephole.

Miss mcleod i, uh,

eavesdropped on your
conversation in the office

without mr. Goodwin's
knowledge.

Without do you wish's
knowledgto complain?

Why?

Why did i listen?

To learn what a pickle
mr. Goodwin was in,

and i learned.

I have intruded because
the situation is intolerable.

You are either a poisonous
cockatrice or a witling,

and you have
brought mr. Goodwin

to a desperate pass.

Now, you said
this was my affair.

Yes, it was, until
it threatened me.

Miss mcleod, i cannot
function properly,

let alone comfortably,
without Archie Goodwin.

I depend on him and,
because of you,

he's in grave jeopardy.

Archie, from now on this
is our joint affair...

by your leave.

Retroactive?

Parker
and my bail?

Yes, of course.

Intimate or not, you've known
this girl for three years.

Did she kill that man?

Yes and no.

That doesn't help.

Yes, chiefly because she asked
me to come here,

change my story
and back hers up.

I didn't kill him!

And the no is a l les
s direct...

you see, when a man
gets a girl pregnant,

hermake
him marry her, not kill him.

See, the thing
she wants most is a father

for the baby, and a dead
one is no good.

That's silly,
i'm not pregnant.

There's only one way a girl
can get pregnant,

and it couldn't
have been that with me

because it's never happened.

Archie?

Oh, the huh?

Yeah.

Oh, i believe her.

All right, let's go soon,
go to the office.

Bring her.

See, my mother,
before she died,

she said, "suzy, if there's
one thing i can tell you..."

(Archie)
It's my firm belief that
an unmarried girl

who knows she can't
be pregnant is less likely

to commit murder than the one
who can't be sure.

But that didn't stop Wolfe

from questioning her
as if she was.

She'd dated 30 men
since we last went dancing

and 10 had asked her
to marry them.

...10 of them have
asked me to marry them.

Well, i had it narrowed down
to maslow and heydt.

When i met
ken Faber at a party

at peter jay's...

kenny was really
fast and so determined,

(susan)
That i told him i might marry
him when i gave up modeling

provided he could
support a family.

He asked me to get him a job
on my father's farm.

I spent every weekend
in the summer out there,

and on the first weekend
it was easy to see

he thought things would
be different than in town.

He accused me of letting
other men do to me

what i wouldn't let him do.

He told me
he told you

and carl and peter and max

that i got pregnant by him,
and that if i denied it,

no one would believe me,

and the only thing to do was
to get married right away.

So you know these
men quite well.

Yes.

If one of them,
enraged beyond endurance

by mr. Faber's conduct,

were to have gone there,
killed him,

which one?
They didn't.

Not "they", no...
one of them, which?

None of them.

That's twaddle,
miss mcleod.

Now, i understand that,
uh, you may be shocked that

someone close to you
committed murder,

but you may not reject it.

I need to see
those three men.

Can you get them here
this evening?

No, i won't.

Miss mcleod,
i do not accuse them,

but my only possible path to
the murderer is a motive,

and one of these men,
possibly your father,

may lead me to it.

You said identify him,
how can you?

Well, perhaps i can't,
but i must try.

Now, because of
your foolish subterfuge,

the only possible way that
the police may be satisfied

that neither you nor
mr. Goodwin

killed that man

is to demonstrate that
someone else did.

Oh...

oh, all right.

Susan went home,
and Wolfe went to his orchids.

I went to eat.

I tried to tell my brain to
lay off until it caught up,

but it kept buzzing around

trying to find
a place to land.

It finally shut up when i
started in on Fritz's

corn fritters made from
the unacceptable ears of corn.

My next big plan was bed,
but fate had other plans.

(ringing doorbell)

(sighing)

Duncan mcleod.

Yes, send him in.

Mr. Mcleod.

Good afternoon, sir.

Here.

No, there's no need to
sit, i've come to apologize.

I didn't pick the corn,
Kenneth Faber did.

Wasn't that heedless?
You know what i require.

I showed him how,
and thought he understood.

A man with a bulldozer
was coming to work on

a lot i'm clearing,
he could only come that day.

It was vexatious,
mr. Mcleod.

Sit.

There's no
need to sit.

I just want to know
what that young man

told you about my daughter.

Ughter was here this
morning in this office. R da

my daughter
susan?

Came here?

What for?

Mr. Mcleod, the young man

you permitted to pick
my corn has been murdered,

and because of false statements
made by your daughter...

my daughter does not
make false statements.

Anyone lies when
the alternative is intolerable.

Now, i do not believe that
anyone lies when
theshe, uh, killed that man. Le.

Did you?

No... but i would have,
if i had known

what he was
saying about her.

He was a bad man,
an evil man.

Until what hour did
you dynamite stumps?

Nearly dark.

I was late
with the milking.

I don't resent you thinking
that i might have

killed kenny Faber
'cause i might have.

I'm an old-fashioned man,
a righteous man.

Yes, and a righteous man
may wink at murder.

I didn't say that,
i don't wink at murder.

But that doesn't mean i have
to want whoever killed Faber

to suffer for it, do i?

Let me ask
you something,

if you knew who killed
that man,

would you tell
me or the police?

I would not.

Good afternoon, sir.

No, not until you tell me
why my daughter came here.

Confound it!

After sending me inedible corn,
you make demands on me?

Go!

Well, i don't think
it's right.

I guess then you won't be
wanting more corn from me.

Why not?

How else would
i acquire it?

I want the corn now!

Tomorrow!

I might.

The restaurant, too?

Yes.

I'll tell them
to expect it.

Phooey!

Call felix and tell him to
expect a delivery on friday.

Yes, sir.

Good, good.

Everything's provided
for, uh... the corn,

everything, yeah,
everything's jake.

There's good slang,
and there's bad slang.

That's bad slang.

Ah.

How long would it
take you to type up

a letter of our conversation

with miss mcleod,
both sides?

All together, i'd say
about four hours.

Do you want it
to remember me by?

No, i think it
might be useful.

You know, as your employee,
i'm supphat i'm told

and i often do, but, uh
this is our joint affair.

Well, you said so.

We are, we are trying
to save you from the calamity

of losing me.

So... you talk
about typing up pages,

how would that be useful

exactly in this situation,
as i understand it now

that this is
our joint affair?

Confound it, Archie,
i said it may be useful.

I don't know if it's
going to be useful.

Can you lse

that might be more useful?

Offhand, no.

Well, if you ever choose
to type it, eventually,

at some point in
the future, make two carbons.

Yeah, yeah, i will,
if i ever eventually...

(muttering)

(ringing doorbell)

(Archie)
By five past nine that evening,

i'd finished my typing,

and the three men
whose names had check marks

in Kenneth Faber's notebook
were seated in the office.

From the looks
they were giving each other,

the were not friends.

The were not friends.
Carl heydt, peter jay,
max maslow.

I think you gentlemen would

prefer brevity...
and so would i.

Miss mcleod
is not our client.

We are acting solely
in our own interest.

But, as it stands right now,

we feel that
miss mcleod did not

kill Kenneth Faber.

Damn nice
of you... so am i.

Your own interests,
what's that?

Because of statements made
by miss mcleod,

mr. Goodwin is
under heavy suspicion.

And to lift suspicion, we must
find out where it belongs.

So that's your interest...

to keep Goodwin
from going under.

What's ours?

Well, your names were in
mr. Faber's notebook.

You are plainly
marked by circumstance.

Well, it's no
secret we're targets.

We've all talked
to the police.

Sue as good as told me

the only reason she hadn't
married Goodwin over there

was because he hadn't
asked her.

He's the hero type.

Started her on
the path to glory.

Now you say she set
the police on him.

I don't believe it,

and i'll tell you
that for free.

The police are on him because
they've got a damn good reason.

I must reserve
what the police know,

but i will suggest that you

eliminate yourselves
from consideration.

All of you had
an adequate motive.

Mr. Faber had either
debased,

or grossly slandered
the woman who you want to marry.

Now, who fed you that?

I'll admit i wanted
to marry miss mcleod.

As far as i know,
carl heydt still does.

But, as for my pal
pete over here,

he's the pay-as-you-go type.

Couldn't exactly
call him a casanova.

Stand up.

Put a sock in it, pete,
i was just kidding around.

Stand up or i'll slap you
out of your chair.

Why i oughtta...

(muttering)

(yelling)

Get off...

all right you...

sit down!

Oh, you want
some more, do you?

Try that on for size.

(panting)

Would you care for a brandy,
mr. Jay?

Whiskey?

Coffee?

Now, don't misunderstand me
here, Wolfe,

i wasn't implying
that pete here killed Faber.

You okay, pete?

Very well, if you will
not help me, then, uh...

we'll merely
shift the suspicion

to miss mcleod.

Oh, now what do you expect
us to do, kick and scream?

You said you were
satisfied she didn't do it.

The police are
not blockheads.

What'd he say?

You have told me nothing
whatever, gentlemen.

But i do not believe that
you have nothing to tell.

So either you talk to me now,
or you tell the police later,

after they have
taken her into custody.

You're bluffing.

I call.

Come on,
fellas.

(Archie)
After giving the three stooges
the old heave-ho,

i wondered if Wolfe
was going to finally

let me get some sleep.

Did you finish it?

12 pages, two carbons.

Your notebook, please.

All right,
there will be two.

One for you,
one for me.

First mine.

Heading
in caps.

"Affidavit, by Nero Wolfe.

"I hereby depose
that the 12 foregoing pages

are a full and accurate,
et cetera, et cetera."

Leave a space
for my signature

and, below, the conventional
formula for notarizing.

All right, all right,
it was more than just

to get me off your neck.

But i'm her
hero now, see?

And heroes mustn't wriggle.

Now, she as good
as told maslow

that she'd marry
me if i asked her,

and she makes more
than you pay me,

so before i sign
that affidavit...

ah, i agree, i agree,
so before i sign
it's a goddamned nuisance,

but will you say that
it's our joint affair

to make sure that
she doesn't go to trial?

I would not say
that i can make sure

of anything whatever.

Correction then.

She doesn't go to trial.

Very well,
i'll be concerned.

Will you bring miss pinelli,
the notary,

to my room five minutes
to nine in the morning?

Yeah, well, she doesn't
get to her office 'til 9:30.

Well, then bring her
at 9:40 to the plant rooms.

To... to the plant rooms?

Yes.

At 9:40?

Archie,
you've had no sleep.

You haven't slept
for 40 hours.

Go to bed.

Signing the affidavit
didn't commit me to anything.

The question was:
What then?

But it turned out,

i didn't have to
make up my mind.

It just happened.

(ringing doorbell)

When i came
here tuesday night

you were dumbfounded
by my fatuity.

All you cared about
was who picked your corn.

Well, i came myself to
see how you feel now.

And i know,
if i serve this,

what'll happen.

Goodwin will clam up,
and a crow bar

couldn't pry him
open, but he'll talk...

where you going?

She made
the soup herself.

You owe her nothing.

I suggest you look
at the affidavits first.

The last two pages.

Lieutenant rowcliff
or sergeant purley stebbins

r an hour.

Cramer didn't
ask a question,

or even look up.
Ask a question,

purley...
get susan mcleod.

Go yourself, take
a man along.

And if she balks,
wrap her up and carry her.

Susan mcleod, you're
under arrest

for the murder
of Kenneth Faber.

Huh, what?

I have to warn you,
anything you say can,

and will be used in evidence
against you.

And will be used in evidence
against youmust be some mistake.

No mistake, ma'am.

How is this possible?

I think you've made
a terrible error.

Well, what do
you want from me?

I can't believe this.

This is
a horrible mistake.

Plant it,
let's go.

Where should i sit?

Right there.

Of all the times i've felt like
putting vinegar in Wolfe's beer,

i came closest that day.

After throwing
susan to the wolves,

he refused to admit her
admirers to the house.

Ahh, sorry, boys,

but he's very busy
and can't be disturbed.

Do you want to disturb
me instead?

Just let us in,
we'll handle the disturbing.

You were damn fools to
think he was bluffing.

Then he did it.

We did it,
i share the glory.

I can't believe that you
would do something like that

to sue when you knew
she didn't do it.

Now, we are handling
this affair jointly.

Now, of course,
if you've changed your minds,

and you want to help
find Faber's killer,

i could spare a few hours.

All right.

You gonna let us in?

Oh, certainly,
certainly, please.

(sighing)

All right,
ask your questions.

Mmm, no, i have
decided on a, uh,

an altogether different
tack, see?

She lied to me, as well,
she told the police that

we'd made arrangements
to go torusterman's

to have it out
with Faber...

well, we hadn't.

So you say.

Don't interrupt.

Now, in fact, she did arrange

to meet someone at 5:00 to
have it out with Faber,

but she was late
and she missed him.

She found the body instead.

Who was it that
sue me

say it was one of you.

Yes, of course, that's
just what i'm saying.

Because sue would ask
one of you for help, right?

Because, you know,
you were the ones

who had little
check marks in his notebook.

The question is,

which one of you
would she have picked?

Hmm... carl...
was it you?

How about it?

Archie, l...
was it you?

Hey, carl, listen, a plain
answer to a plain question.

Maslow.
He's tough.

What, not jay here?

Oh, no, she knows she couldn't
depend on him for anything.

Shut up!

Hey, hey,
stop it now.

He's the persona non grata
around here.

Come on, let's give
him the bum's rush.

You gonna help me, carl?

No, but i'll watch.

All right,
you relax, Goodwin,

and it'll go a lot
easier for you.

(grunting)

See you later, carl.

Now, if you boys are going
to play games,

you better take lessons.

Lunch is ready,
you'd better wash up.

(clearing throat)

I hope that you don't
require the car today.

I've sent saul panzer
on an errand.

Interesting.

Yes, i gave him $100.

Good.

(Archie)
If Wolfe saw fit to keep
saul's errand private,

he could eat wormy
corn boiled in water

before i'd ask him
what it was.

Yes...

this, uh, ade without onion
,

but it has
some garlic.

I prefer it this way.

But Fritz and i invite
your... opinion.

I would be
glad to give it.

Miss the onions, Fritz.

(telephone ringing)

Nero Wolfe's office.

Archie Goodwin
speaking.

It's saul.

Saul.

Archie, if you please.

I'm sorry?

Hang up.

Yes.

Satisfactory.

Of course,
yes...

no, no.

Of course, you must
accept the money.

Very well.

That was saul.

He will be
returning a portion

of the expense money
as he had none.

I gave him...
$60 for six hours.

His daily minimum
is 80.

Well, he wouldn't take it.

He didn't want to
take anything.

Since this is our
personal affair...

but i insisted.

Our personal affair.

Wolfe and i come as close to
trusting each other

as two men can on
matters of joint concern,

but apparently, this was
no longer one of them.

We were waiting,
and i didn't know what for.

(stomping footsteps)

Has it come?

What?

The corn,
has it come?

Uh, not unless
saul brought it.

Because uh, a possibility
occurred to me.

It's remote,
but, uh, it would be...

(ringing doorbell)

Oh, well, here it is,
right on time.

Nero Wolfe?
Yes, yes.

I got your corn.

Yes.

Uh, did you pick
that corn yourself?

Hell, no,
mcleod did.

Did you pack it
in that carton?

No, no,
he did.

Oh, i get it.

You're a detective.

Yes... yes.

That explains why
you're asking me all those

fancy questions, huh?

Uh, you know, being finicky
about food is fine

up to a point,

but there's really
got to be a limit.

Call inspector
cramer immediately.

Meanwhile,
while we're waiting,

you may peruse this.

All right, what's so
damned urgent?

It's supposed
to contain corn.

Perhaps it does.

Yeah, so?

It is conceivable that
it contains dynamite,

with a contraption inside
that will detonate when the cord

is cut and the lid
is lifted.

What is this,
a gag?

Well, i can tell you nothing

until we discover
the contents of the box.

The hell you can't.

Why do you think
it's dynamite?

Would you notify the proper
person without delay?

You know, if you touch it or
you open the lid or something,

it might go off,

and if that happened, we'd
have to sue you for damages.

Hey!

Not there.

Do you want to clear
the room, inspector?

Oh, it's,
it's probably nothing.

Just, uh...

just, just check it
out first.

Easy...

easy.

Wedge, wedge.

That's it,
easy, easy.

Slow...
good.

I need a light.

Here you are, sir.

Your hands
are shaking.

That's it,
slow, slow.

That's it... glass.

Here you go, sir.

Oh...

bad news?

If you would
have opened this...

i don't knowf we would
have found the pieces.

You know, the guy
that brought that in here,

he had it right by
the strings.

H-hands.

You know, Wolfe,
you didn't think

there was dynamite in there,

you knew there was
dynamite in there.

Now talk.

The possibility occurred
to me, and i came down...

barely in time.

Three minutes more
and...

phooey.

The, the man is
a blackguard.

I, uh, sent for
saul panzer this morning,

and when he came...

who put the dynamite
in the carton?

I'm telling you!

When he came, i, i had him type
something out, a letter,

and, uh, he delivered
it to duncan mcleod's farm

this afternoon.

Archie, you have a copy.

Yes, a memorandum from
mr. Wolfe to duncan mcleod.

Yeah, watch the lamp...
watch the lamp.

Just be careful
with that, will you?

Easy.

"Mr. Duncan mcleod.

"Question one:
When did Kenneth Faber tell you

that your daughter was pregnant
and he was responsible?"

When did you
figure this out?

It's a matter of
interpretation,

not of knowledge.

So you
decided to share your

interpretation with him,
instead of me?

I prefer to put it that
i decided not to decide.

Yeah.

Purley, call
the sheriff's office.

Tell him to pick up mcleod
and charge him with murder.

And hey, tell him
to be careful.

He may be
a little rough.

"Question two:

"When did you get
the piece of pipe?

Was it on the premises?"

Any man
sufficiently provoked,

might plan to kill.

But few men would
choose an iron bludgeon

as a weapon to carry
about the streets.

Certainly not
mr. Heydt, mr. Maslow

or mr. Jay.

But a countryman might.

"Question three:

"Did you know that
your daughter saw you

"leaving the stairwell
tuesday afternoon?

Did you see her?"

Well, you read
the affidavit.

When i asked miss mcleod
which one of those

three men might
ha killed Kenneth Faber,

how did she answer?

She said they didn't.

Yes, she stated
that as a fact.

There was only one way that
she could know they hadn't

with such
certainty.

She knew who had.

You knew about
mcleod all along,

didn't you, Wolfe?

Not certain knowledge.

With all the bre, you know,

any man would get dow on
his knees and thank god.

Mr. Cramer, it was
a reasoned conclusion.

Now, you had all
the facts.

You had
the same facts i did.

What facts?

The corn.

The corn?

The corn? Knows how extremely

particular i am
n.

I pay him well,
more than well.

He told me that
he had Faber pick my corn

because he had to dynamite
some rocks and stumps.

He knew that Faber
couldn't do the job properly,

so there must have been
something far more

compelling than
rocks and stumps

for him to risk losing such
a valuable customer.

Yeah, and nothing
is more important

than your precious corn,
except for murder.

Precisely.
(phone ringing)

Nero Wolfe's office,
arch...

stebbins.

Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, purley.

Yeah...
what?

Oh, cheese and rice!

All right.

Your goddamn luck!

About an hour ago,
duncan mcleod sat or stood

or lay on a pile
of dynamite.

They've got his head...

and, uh,
a few other pieces.

Ahh, nuts.

Where are we gonna
get our corn?

Phooey.

(exploding)

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