A Different World (1987–1993): Season 6, Episode 10 - Faith, Hope, and Charity: Part 2 - full transcript
Continuation of Thanksgiving with the Gilbert-Wayne family.
£ ooh £
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ come what may £
£ I realize that I'm ready £
£ I'm ready £
£ 'cause I finally
heard them say £
£ I heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, now,
here's our chance to make it £
£ here's our chance £
£ if we focus on our goal £
£ focus on our goal £
£ if you dish it,
we can take it £
£ we can take it £
£ just remember
that you've been told £
£ that it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from,
yeah. £
are you going to ask me in?
I didn't expect to see you
until I was divorced.
Can't I change my mind?
Bobby brown ain't the only one
with a prerogative.
Besides, chippy, I had a dream.
Not another dream, mama.
Oh, yes, child, a dream.
There was a baby chipmunk
and a mama chipmunk
living in a cozy hole in a tree.
One day, mama munk
went shopping for acorns.
When she got back,
baby munk was gone.
Up and followed
a pack of she-wolves into...
Into another forest.
Hello, miss thing.
Hello, Mrs. Thing.
Hello.
Anyway...
Mama munk had to find her baby
before winter
because if she didn't
he would have been found frozen,
hungry, maybe even dead.
You know what I did?
I got myself on a greyhound bus.
I know you did, mama.
Where's my father?
Somebody got to work.
And how are you doing,
mother Wayne?
Mother Wayne?
Mrs. Thing, I ain't running
no convent.
Whoo!
That sure is a pretty dress.
It looks expensive.
So does this apartment.
Whitley ain't just
bringing home the bacon.
She's bringing home
the whole hog.
It is a thrill
to see you again, Adelaide.
It hasn't been long enough
for me either, Mona.
It is Marion, Marion.
I know.
Which way to the kitchen?
No, no, I've just started
marinating my bird.
My bird was already marinating.
My bird was already marinating!
Prima mama number two.
Mrs. Wayne, what are you
doing here?
Hi to you, too, Ron.
I came to visit my son
and feed him.
And who are you?
Meet Mrs. Gilbert's fiance,
Malik velasquez.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Placer la ver la que.
Todo se la pelicula.
Sabe. Fantastico ver.
Cucaracha to you, too, sunshine.
Steam heat, honey.
My tigress, you're looking
very good today.
How's my panther?
Mm, very good.
We better get busy.
We got to roast this Turkey.
Yes, indeedy, Edie.
These two birds
will never fit into that oven.
Oh, how true.
Chipmunk, take Mona's bird
to the church and donate it.
What are you talking about?
This is a Virginia
farm-fed Turkey.
That's why it's got
that little scrawny chest.
This is a double-d cup, honey.
Okay, we will not argue.
I will not haggle over
something so petty.
We will make your
Dolly Parton Turkey, all right?
Ladies, this is a holiday.
The more bosoms, the better.
No need to argue.
Nobody's arguing.
Make a fire in that
expensive fireplace.
I think...
I don't mean tomorrow.
I'm going.
Whitley, get the dough
for my pumpkin tart
out of the refrigerator.
Pumpkin tart?
Yes, indeed,
with a hazelnut crust.
Deep-dish pumpkin pie
with a crisco crust.
I know which one I'll be eating.
Neither one.
Get out, Ron.
This is family.
All right, okay.
I'll come back at chow time.
Maybe I should go too.
Yes, darling,
and take whitley with you.
I'm making the filling.
No, no.
I always make the filling.
What are you doing
with that white bread?
Making the stuffing.
We already have the stuffing...
Chestnuts with fresh oysters.
Look at that.
You put those things in here
this girl will come back to life
and run away.
She wants spicy sausage.
You can't use sausage.
Malik will not eat swine.
Since he's so fine,
I'll leave out
my spicy sausage
if you leave out
them uppity clams.
Okay, fine.
Good.
Now, perfect.
Mm-hmm.
Sounds like they're
doing all right.
You can lie for your mother
but you can't lie for
your own wife.
You stuff one end,
I'll stuff the other.
So, they invited you here?
I invited myself.
I wanted to see how
your little possum
was treating my little Princess.
I came to see how
your little olive oyl
was treating my chipmunk.
Have you noticed
that he has her wearing
bargain basement shoes?
Have you noticed that
she ain't cooking
and he's hungry?
That's impossible.
My whitley is an excellent cook.
She ain't much of a homemaker.
But as they say
the apple never falls
far from the tree.
How true, how true.
One should never, never mix
golden delicious apples
with common cooking apples.
I guess it's just like mixing
oysters with dry bread.
Please.
What are you doing?
Making sure you don't
sneak these suckers back in.
Good-bye, uppity clams.
Do you realize that
those are a delicacy?
Do you realize that
they're mush now?
Adelaide
I'm going to kill you.
Shucks, honey, I won't kill you,
but I'll kill this pumpkin tart.
Don't you dare.
My pumpkin tart.
There will be no white bread in
black people's Turkey tonight.
Honey, you know what we'll have?
The whole sausage
in this sucker.
Mom, mom.
Stop it, mom.
Get her out of my kitchen.
Can't we get along?
Why can't we get along?
This protest over
the rights of Haitians
is getting really big.
Just a bunch of bored students
mouthing off.
We got a lot of poor,
black folk in america.
The Haitians
fought beside the U.S.
During the American revolution.
I feel like marching
with the Haitians.
Nobody's stopping you,
Che Guevara.
What are you doing?
Yoo-hoo.
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
I made some appetizers.
Oh, my goodness.
Cheese spread on soda crackers.
Adele, you must be exhausted.
You know what, Mona?
There's some cheese
left in this can.
I didn't get
the back of your big head.
The door.
It must be a guest.
Hi.
Welcome to our happy home.
You remember my mama.
Hi.
Oh, it's so wonderful
to see you again, Christina.
You remembered my name.
Hi, darlin', I'm Dwayne's mama.
You met me at the graduation.
She's still got
them pretty white teeth.
Look at those teeth.
Kimmy, I'd like for
you to meet Malik
my mama's fiance.
Damn!
Oh, dios mio.
I love that massai necklace.
My god.
It brings out
the purity of your features.
You bring to mind
a famous senghor poem:
"Naked woman, black woman
garbed in your color,
which is life."
Malik, you recited
the exact same poem to me.
And it fits the both of you.
Oh, really?
And then on Halloween,
when we uncovered the cadaver
Spencer had put a dress
on the cadaver.
No one tells a cadaver story
like my Kimmy.
Yes, yes, dead people
are so amusing.
There is something
wrong with this world
when a woman like yourself
is single.
There's something wrong
with a Thanksgiving celebration
without the proper libation.
Malik, let's get some wine
for dinner.
Come.
Now?
Now.
Right now?
Right now.
Your wish is my command.
Mama, it's a mess out there
with the parade and the protest.
And wine is fattening.
Today is Thanksgiving.
Never mind the calories.
Come, Malik.
Okay.
Ciao.
This is even better
than I expected.
Can you show a little more skin?
Just a little.
Why don't I take him
in the back room
and lift my dress over my head.
Could you?
This smells good.
Where you going?
You ever heard of stuffing
without sausage?
While miss thing, sr. Is gone,
I'll get some.
I knew this coupon
would come in handy.
No, ma.
Hey, ma.
Smiling at that cadaver queen.
Laughing at everything she says
no matter how dull.
I was just being friendly.
You're supposed to be friendly
to me.
Why do you want
to break them up?
Dwayne's a nice guy.
I'm having a philosophical
problem with this.
You have a philosophical problem
accepting that $500 advance?
If you want the balance
you have to play this part.
If al Pacino didn't get
my role in scarface
I wouldn't have to do this.
Right now, you will have to play
the Cuban-American gigolo.
You know what?
I really don't.
We made an agreement.
If you walk out,
my plan is ruined.
That's your problem.
I'm marching with the Haitians.
Haiti libre,
y Cuba tambien. Vieja.
You can't do this.
We have a deal!
Please, please.
Would you come back?
Free the Haitians right now.
Release. No justice means
no peace.
You all singing,
it's spiritual, it's beautiful
but it's annoying, so shut up!
Too bad you couldn't
stop these clowns
from disrupting the parade.
Yo, we just destroyed a powerful
symbol of oppression.
Ripping up the Turkey float
from pepe's poultry?
Deep.
What are you going to do
for an encore?
Run Ronald MacDonald
out of town?
You're pushing me.
Unhand me, you barbarian.
I was on my way from
the supermarket.
These kids were trying
to ruin a float.
I tried to stop them.
I was merely talking to this man
when I was apprehended unfairly.
Look, contessa, you're charged
with ripping off
the arresting officer's badge
and his bad toupee.
You, miss, are charged
with resisting arrest
and assaulting the officer
with a frozen sausage roll?
That thing was thawed.
You're both in a lot of trouble.
Your bail is very high.
Relax.
It's going to be
a long night, girls.
Oh, no.
Cute shoes.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello?
Hey, ma, where are you?
You in jail?
Jail?!
Miss thing senior and Malik too?
How did they end up in jail?
She said they...
Okay, yeah.
They got caught up
in the Haitian protest.
Oh. See.
You hit a man over the head
with a sausage?
What did you hit a policeman
with a sausage for?
How much is bail, ma?
$500. $500 apiece.
So that's $1,000 now.
No, no, we got it.
No, we're going to get it.
No, I'll be down there
as soon as I can, ma.
I love you too.
You'll be all right.
Where are you going
to get $1,000?
I would do anything
to get my mother
out the penitentiary.
Hey, baby, sell your mink coat.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Almost anything.
There must be a way.
Officer, I demand to make
another phone call.
I will not stay in here
with these tramps.
Mona.
What?
If you don't want to get
into trouble, shut up.
Why?
Because you don't know
who is carrying a knife.
A knife?
I will kill that Malik.
He's ruined my life, my plans.
I paid that man.
What are you talking about?
Malik is an actor I hired
to show my daughter
what it's like
to see someone you love
with someone
you're not overly fond of.
That is low...
Snakish, conniving,
and downright deceitful.
You do have a brain
under all that
teased hair.
Yes, I do.
Officer, winifred Brooks,
esquire
of Dunham and Dunham,
back street and plaid.
I'm here to ensure
the release of my client,
Shazza zulu.
He was the leader
of this protest
but it was his intention
it remain peaceful.
I demand that you free him.
Got 50 bucks?
Yeah.
He's all yours.
Marion:
Fredricka, dear.
Mrs. Wayne, Mrs. Gilbert?
What are you doing here?
I was arrested in protest.
All right.
What is taking
Dwayne and whitley so long
to get the $1,000?
$1,000?
Well, I'd say whitley's
probably hocking that mink
right about now.
Why would she hock her coat?
Because they're broke.
Broke?
Their place got robbed,
whitley got fired.
Look, miss legal eagles
you got to sign this form
to get your friend out.
Whitley fired?
Oh, my heavens.
We have been lied to
and deceived
by our own flesh and blood.
Hello. You know what?
I told my son
if he married that woman
she would bring him
nothing but misery.
I told my daughter
if she married that man
that her life would be ruined.
And you were right,
and so was I.
That doesn't make up for missing
my child's wedding.
That's right.
But you know?
It was twice as bad being there.
Mona, please tell me
about the ceremony.
Oh, the ceremony was lovely.
The garden was beautiful...
With crocuses
and orchids everywhere.
Skip the ambience.
You owe your lawyer 50 bucks,
but I'm sure she'll bill you.
My lawyer?
I posed as your lawyer
to get you out of here.
Pretty slick, huh?
Hi.
Hi. Let's go.
I can't go, baby.
I got to stay.
This is for the cause.
Haiti!
And Lena?
Lena?
Yeah. I'm not blind.
I don't believe you.
You're going to say
you were hanging out
with one of your professors
and not Ron.
Ron, honey!
I mean, come on.
It's cool.
It's cool.
I was just wondering
when were you going
to get around
to telling me, you know?
I'm sorry.
It's this...
This Ron thing.
It's not even happening.
You know what's wrong with us?
It's law school.
No, it's not law school, honey.
But I want to be with you.
You sure about that?
Well...
No. You know
I think you're confused
about which brother
you want to be with
and I'm not going to wait around
while you decide, okay?
Wait.
You were my first love.
I loved you too.
Stay strong...
Stay black.
Stay in touch.
What is this...
The young and the restless
the black, the bold,
and the beautiful?
I don't know what it is,
but I got a Turkey to cook
so somebody get us out of here!
Freddie, help us out!
And release
Malik velasquez too, please.
Whitley:
Why is my mama's
mouth taped?
If you had to listen
to these two all night
you would have taped
their mouths too.
Oh, mama.
Oh! My moustache!
Chipmunk, I got a whole
skeleton to pick with you.
Take these things off of me.
Oh, Marion,
it's been a pleasure.
The check is in the mail?
Not another penny from me.
What check is in the mail?
Chipmunk, I never, ever thought
you would lie
to your mama. Never.
Tell me your wife just
don't bring home the bacon...
She brings home the whole hog.
Hog wash!
Why should I tell you?
So you can turn at me
and say "I told you so"?
That's one reason.
Why are you so hard on whitley?
Because, son,
I know what you need
and it's not some
uppity, dainty Princess
who gets to the altar
and changes her mind
right before the I do's.
You're a first-round draft pick,
not second choice.
Ma, whitley is
my first-round pick, okay?
Look at me, ma!
Whether you believe it or not,
that's my wife.
Okay, but you just wait.
You wait till you have a child
and that one and only child
calls you collect...
Look at me, chipmunk,
look at me!
And says, "hey, ma, guess what?
I just got hitched. See ya."
It ain't so cute, chippy.
It ain't so cute.
I would have apologized
for that earlier
but you kept hanging up on me.
What am I supposed to do
when every time I call you
you hang up on me?
Oh, chipmunk, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.
It's okay, ma.
Just don't do it no more.
I can't believe
you would pay somebody
to play your fiance.
What did you think
that would accomplish?
How else would I get you
to understand how I felt?
You could have called me,
talked to me instead of lying.
Lying? Yes, let's talk
about lying, young lady.
There you stand,
jobless and broke
and wearing
yesterday's table cloth.
They're drapes.
Whitley, I did not raise you
to live like this.
I'll be damned
if I'll see you end up
in some two-bedroom flat
married to some obscure
chemistry professor.
He's an engineer, mama.
Listen to me.
I have had a very empty life
but I did one thing
that was worthwhile.
I had you
and I raised you
to live like a Princess.
Now can you actually tell me
that you are happy living
in this little, dinky apartment
not knowing where your
next designer dress
is coming from?
Mama.
You and daddy did raise me
to think I was special
because I had good looks,
because I had lineage
because we had fine antiques.
Well, I don't have
any antiques now
and nobody here cares
where I descended from.
All I have
is a man that loves me
and that makes me feel
like a Princess.
Oh, whitley,
when you talk like that
I'm not even sure
that you're my baby.
Because you're
just going too fast for me.
You're taking me too fast.
I don't even
understand you anymore.
But I... I want to
but I just don't.
You have to, please,
be patient with me.
You have to help me.
You have to help me.
Okay, mama. I'm sorry.
Ma, it's okay.
Mama, it's okay.
It's all right.
Adele:
I'm sorry, honey,
I'm sorry.
Hey, ma, that's all right.
Hey, I don't know about y'all
but I am starving.
Looks like Ron had a good meal.
Well, he didn't clean up
all the desserts.
Adele.
May I offer you one
of my pumpkin tarts?
Mona, may I offer you some
of my pumpkin pie?
I'd be delighted.
Mmm.
Your skinny pie ain't half bad.
This lard crispy thing
is scrumptious.
Tell me something.
What's in the whipped cream?
That's grand Marnier liqueur.
Lu-who?
Liquor, baby, liquor.
Now that's better.
Why didn't you just say so?
I was trying
to pronounce it properly.
Not in amerique, honey.
Would you do me a favor?
What's that?
Give me the recipe
to that skinny pie?
You can have anything
in the world you want.
Marion.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Adele, happy Thanksgiving.
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ come what may £
£ I realize that I'm ready £
£ I'm ready £
£ 'cause I finally
heard them say £
£ I heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, now,
here's our chance to make it £
£ here's our chance £
£ if we focus on our goal £
£ focus on our goal £
£ if you dish it,
we can take it £
£ we can take it £
£ just remember
that you've been told £
£ that it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from,
yeah. £
are you going to ask me in?
I didn't expect to see you
until I was divorced.
Can't I change my mind?
Bobby brown ain't the only one
with a prerogative.
Besides, chippy, I had a dream.
Not another dream, mama.
Oh, yes, child, a dream.
There was a baby chipmunk
and a mama chipmunk
living in a cozy hole in a tree.
One day, mama munk
went shopping for acorns.
When she got back,
baby munk was gone.
Up and followed
a pack of she-wolves into...
Into another forest.
Hello, miss thing.
Hello, Mrs. Thing.
Hello.
Anyway...
Mama munk had to find her baby
before winter
because if she didn't
he would have been found frozen,
hungry, maybe even dead.
You know what I did?
I got myself on a greyhound bus.
I know you did, mama.
Where's my father?
Somebody got to work.
And how are you doing,
mother Wayne?
Mother Wayne?
Mrs. Thing, I ain't running
no convent.
Whoo!
That sure is a pretty dress.
It looks expensive.
So does this apartment.
Whitley ain't just
bringing home the bacon.
She's bringing home
the whole hog.
It is a thrill
to see you again, Adelaide.
It hasn't been long enough
for me either, Mona.
It is Marion, Marion.
I know.
Which way to the kitchen?
No, no, I've just started
marinating my bird.
My bird was already marinating.
My bird was already marinating!
Prima mama number two.
Mrs. Wayne, what are you
doing here?
Hi to you, too, Ron.
I came to visit my son
and feed him.
And who are you?
Meet Mrs. Gilbert's fiance,
Malik velasquez.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Placer la ver la que.
Todo se la pelicula.
Sabe. Fantastico ver.
Cucaracha to you, too, sunshine.
Steam heat, honey.
My tigress, you're looking
very good today.
How's my panther?
Mm, very good.
We better get busy.
We got to roast this Turkey.
Yes, indeedy, Edie.
These two birds
will never fit into that oven.
Oh, how true.
Chipmunk, take Mona's bird
to the church and donate it.
What are you talking about?
This is a Virginia
farm-fed Turkey.
That's why it's got
that little scrawny chest.
This is a double-d cup, honey.
Okay, we will not argue.
I will not haggle over
something so petty.
We will make your
Dolly Parton Turkey, all right?
Ladies, this is a holiday.
The more bosoms, the better.
No need to argue.
Nobody's arguing.
Make a fire in that
expensive fireplace.
I think...
I don't mean tomorrow.
I'm going.
Whitley, get the dough
for my pumpkin tart
out of the refrigerator.
Pumpkin tart?
Yes, indeed,
with a hazelnut crust.
Deep-dish pumpkin pie
with a crisco crust.
I know which one I'll be eating.
Neither one.
Get out, Ron.
This is family.
All right, okay.
I'll come back at chow time.
Maybe I should go too.
Yes, darling,
and take whitley with you.
I'm making the filling.
No, no.
I always make the filling.
What are you doing
with that white bread?
Making the stuffing.
We already have the stuffing...
Chestnuts with fresh oysters.
Look at that.
You put those things in here
this girl will come back to life
and run away.
She wants spicy sausage.
You can't use sausage.
Malik will not eat swine.
Since he's so fine,
I'll leave out
my spicy sausage
if you leave out
them uppity clams.
Okay, fine.
Good.
Now, perfect.
Mm-hmm.
Sounds like they're
doing all right.
You can lie for your mother
but you can't lie for
your own wife.
You stuff one end,
I'll stuff the other.
So, they invited you here?
I invited myself.
I wanted to see how
your little possum
was treating my little Princess.
I came to see how
your little olive oyl
was treating my chipmunk.
Have you noticed
that he has her wearing
bargain basement shoes?
Have you noticed that
she ain't cooking
and he's hungry?
That's impossible.
My whitley is an excellent cook.
She ain't much of a homemaker.
But as they say
the apple never falls
far from the tree.
How true, how true.
One should never, never mix
golden delicious apples
with common cooking apples.
I guess it's just like mixing
oysters with dry bread.
Please.
What are you doing?
Making sure you don't
sneak these suckers back in.
Good-bye, uppity clams.
Do you realize that
those are a delicacy?
Do you realize that
they're mush now?
Adelaide
I'm going to kill you.
Shucks, honey, I won't kill you,
but I'll kill this pumpkin tart.
Don't you dare.
My pumpkin tart.
There will be no white bread in
black people's Turkey tonight.
Honey, you know what we'll have?
The whole sausage
in this sucker.
Mom, mom.
Stop it, mom.
Get her out of my kitchen.
Can't we get along?
Why can't we get along?
This protest over
the rights of Haitians
is getting really big.
Just a bunch of bored students
mouthing off.
We got a lot of poor,
black folk in america.
The Haitians
fought beside the U.S.
During the American revolution.
I feel like marching
with the Haitians.
Nobody's stopping you,
Che Guevara.
What are you doing?
Yoo-hoo.
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
I made some appetizers.
Oh, my goodness.
Cheese spread on soda crackers.
Adele, you must be exhausted.
You know what, Mona?
There's some cheese
left in this can.
I didn't get
the back of your big head.
The door.
It must be a guest.
Hi.
Welcome to our happy home.
You remember my mama.
Hi.
Oh, it's so wonderful
to see you again, Christina.
You remembered my name.
Hi, darlin', I'm Dwayne's mama.
You met me at the graduation.
She's still got
them pretty white teeth.
Look at those teeth.
Kimmy, I'd like for
you to meet Malik
my mama's fiance.
Damn!
Oh, dios mio.
I love that massai necklace.
My god.
It brings out
the purity of your features.
You bring to mind
a famous senghor poem:
"Naked woman, black woman
garbed in your color,
which is life."
Malik, you recited
the exact same poem to me.
And it fits the both of you.
Oh, really?
And then on Halloween,
when we uncovered the cadaver
Spencer had put a dress
on the cadaver.
No one tells a cadaver story
like my Kimmy.
Yes, yes, dead people
are so amusing.
There is something
wrong with this world
when a woman like yourself
is single.
There's something wrong
with a Thanksgiving celebration
without the proper libation.
Malik, let's get some wine
for dinner.
Come.
Now?
Now.
Right now?
Right now.
Your wish is my command.
Mama, it's a mess out there
with the parade and the protest.
And wine is fattening.
Today is Thanksgiving.
Never mind the calories.
Come, Malik.
Okay.
Ciao.
This is even better
than I expected.
Can you show a little more skin?
Just a little.
Why don't I take him
in the back room
and lift my dress over my head.
Could you?
This smells good.
Where you going?
You ever heard of stuffing
without sausage?
While miss thing, sr. Is gone,
I'll get some.
I knew this coupon
would come in handy.
No, ma.
Hey, ma.
Smiling at that cadaver queen.
Laughing at everything she says
no matter how dull.
I was just being friendly.
You're supposed to be friendly
to me.
Why do you want
to break them up?
Dwayne's a nice guy.
I'm having a philosophical
problem with this.
You have a philosophical problem
accepting that $500 advance?
If you want the balance
you have to play this part.
If al Pacino didn't get
my role in scarface
I wouldn't have to do this.
Right now, you will have to play
the Cuban-American gigolo.
You know what?
I really don't.
We made an agreement.
If you walk out,
my plan is ruined.
That's your problem.
I'm marching with the Haitians.
Haiti libre,
y Cuba tambien. Vieja.
You can't do this.
We have a deal!
Please, please.
Would you come back?
Free the Haitians right now.
Release. No justice means
no peace.
You all singing,
it's spiritual, it's beautiful
but it's annoying, so shut up!
Too bad you couldn't
stop these clowns
from disrupting the parade.
Yo, we just destroyed a powerful
symbol of oppression.
Ripping up the Turkey float
from pepe's poultry?
Deep.
What are you going to do
for an encore?
Run Ronald MacDonald
out of town?
You're pushing me.
Unhand me, you barbarian.
I was on my way from
the supermarket.
These kids were trying
to ruin a float.
I tried to stop them.
I was merely talking to this man
when I was apprehended unfairly.
Look, contessa, you're charged
with ripping off
the arresting officer's badge
and his bad toupee.
You, miss, are charged
with resisting arrest
and assaulting the officer
with a frozen sausage roll?
That thing was thawed.
You're both in a lot of trouble.
Your bail is very high.
Relax.
It's going to be
a long night, girls.
Oh, no.
Cute shoes.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello?
Hey, ma, where are you?
You in jail?
Jail?!
Miss thing senior and Malik too?
How did they end up in jail?
She said they...
Okay, yeah.
They got caught up
in the Haitian protest.
Oh. See.
You hit a man over the head
with a sausage?
What did you hit a policeman
with a sausage for?
How much is bail, ma?
$500. $500 apiece.
So that's $1,000 now.
No, no, we got it.
No, we're going to get it.
No, I'll be down there
as soon as I can, ma.
I love you too.
You'll be all right.
Where are you going
to get $1,000?
I would do anything
to get my mother
out the penitentiary.
Hey, baby, sell your mink coat.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Almost anything.
There must be a way.
Officer, I demand to make
another phone call.
I will not stay in here
with these tramps.
Mona.
What?
If you don't want to get
into trouble, shut up.
Why?
Because you don't know
who is carrying a knife.
A knife?
I will kill that Malik.
He's ruined my life, my plans.
I paid that man.
What are you talking about?
Malik is an actor I hired
to show my daughter
what it's like
to see someone you love
with someone
you're not overly fond of.
That is low...
Snakish, conniving,
and downright deceitful.
You do have a brain
under all that
teased hair.
Yes, I do.
Officer, winifred Brooks,
esquire
of Dunham and Dunham,
back street and plaid.
I'm here to ensure
the release of my client,
Shazza zulu.
He was the leader
of this protest
but it was his intention
it remain peaceful.
I demand that you free him.
Got 50 bucks?
Yeah.
He's all yours.
Marion:
Fredricka, dear.
Mrs. Wayne, Mrs. Gilbert?
What are you doing here?
I was arrested in protest.
All right.
What is taking
Dwayne and whitley so long
to get the $1,000?
$1,000?
Well, I'd say whitley's
probably hocking that mink
right about now.
Why would she hock her coat?
Because they're broke.
Broke?
Their place got robbed,
whitley got fired.
Look, miss legal eagles
you got to sign this form
to get your friend out.
Whitley fired?
Oh, my heavens.
We have been lied to
and deceived
by our own flesh and blood.
Hello. You know what?
I told my son
if he married that woman
she would bring him
nothing but misery.
I told my daughter
if she married that man
that her life would be ruined.
And you were right,
and so was I.
That doesn't make up for missing
my child's wedding.
That's right.
But you know?
It was twice as bad being there.
Mona, please tell me
about the ceremony.
Oh, the ceremony was lovely.
The garden was beautiful...
With crocuses
and orchids everywhere.
Skip the ambience.
You owe your lawyer 50 bucks,
but I'm sure she'll bill you.
My lawyer?
I posed as your lawyer
to get you out of here.
Pretty slick, huh?
Hi.
Hi. Let's go.
I can't go, baby.
I got to stay.
This is for the cause.
Haiti!
And Lena?
Lena?
Yeah. I'm not blind.
I don't believe you.
You're going to say
you were hanging out
with one of your professors
and not Ron.
Ron, honey!
I mean, come on.
It's cool.
It's cool.
I was just wondering
when were you going
to get around
to telling me, you know?
I'm sorry.
It's this...
This Ron thing.
It's not even happening.
You know what's wrong with us?
It's law school.
No, it's not law school, honey.
But I want to be with you.
You sure about that?
Well...
No. You know
I think you're confused
about which brother
you want to be with
and I'm not going to wait around
while you decide, okay?
Wait.
You were my first love.
I loved you too.
Stay strong...
Stay black.
Stay in touch.
What is this...
The young and the restless
the black, the bold,
and the beautiful?
I don't know what it is,
but I got a Turkey to cook
so somebody get us out of here!
Freddie, help us out!
And release
Malik velasquez too, please.
Whitley:
Why is my mama's
mouth taped?
If you had to listen
to these two all night
you would have taped
their mouths too.
Oh, mama.
Oh! My moustache!
Chipmunk, I got a whole
skeleton to pick with you.
Take these things off of me.
Oh, Marion,
it's been a pleasure.
The check is in the mail?
Not another penny from me.
What check is in the mail?
Chipmunk, I never, ever thought
you would lie
to your mama. Never.
Tell me your wife just
don't bring home the bacon...
She brings home the whole hog.
Hog wash!
Why should I tell you?
So you can turn at me
and say "I told you so"?
That's one reason.
Why are you so hard on whitley?
Because, son,
I know what you need
and it's not some
uppity, dainty Princess
who gets to the altar
and changes her mind
right before the I do's.
You're a first-round draft pick,
not second choice.
Ma, whitley is
my first-round pick, okay?
Look at me, ma!
Whether you believe it or not,
that's my wife.
Okay, but you just wait.
You wait till you have a child
and that one and only child
calls you collect...
Look at me, chipmunk,
look at me!
And says, "hey, ma, guess what?
I just got hitched. See ya."
It ain't so cute, chippy.
It ain't so cute.
I would have apologized
for that earlier
but you kept hanging up on me.
What am I supposed to do
when every time I call you
you hang up on me?
Oh, chipmunk, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.
It's okay, ma.
Just don't do it no more.
I can't believe
you would pay somebody
to play your fiance.
What did you think
that would accomplish?
How else would I get you
to understand how I felt?
You could have called me,
talked to me instead of lying.
Lying? Yes, let's talk
about lying, young lady.
There you stand,
jobless and broke
and wearing
yesterday's table cloth.
They're drapes.
Whitley, I did not raise you
to live like this.
I'll be damned
if I'll see you end up
in some two-bedroom flat
married to some obscure
chemistry professor.
He's an engineer, mama.
Listen to me.
I have had a very empty life
but I did one thing
that was worthwhile.
I had you
and I raised you
to live like a Princess.
Now can you actually tell me
that you are happy living
in this little, dinky apartment
not knowing where your
next designer dress
is coming from?
Mama.
You and daddy did raise me
to think I was special
because I had good looks,
because I had lineage
because we had fine antiques.
Well, I don't have
any antiques now
and nobody here cares
where I descended from.
All I have
is a man that loves me
and that makes me feel
like a Princess.
Oh, whitley,
when you talk like that
I'm not even sure
that you're my baby.
Because you're
just going too fast for me.
You're taking me too fast.
I don't even
understand you anymore.
But I... I want to
but I just don't.
You have to, please,
be patient with me.
You have to help me.
You have to help me.
Okay, mama. I'm sorry.
Ma, it's okay.
Mama, it's okay.
It's all right.
Adele:
I'm sorry, honey,
I'm sorry.
Hey, ma, that's all right.
Hey, I don't know about y'all
but I am starving.
Looks like Ron had a good meal.
Well, he didn't clean up
all the desserts.
Adele.
May I offer you one
of my pumpkin tarts?
Mona, may I offer you some
of my pumpkin pie?
I'd be delighted.
Mmm.
Your skinny pie ain't half bad.
This lard crispy thing
is scrumptious.
Tell me something.
What's in the whipped cream?
That's grand Marnier liqueur.
Lu-who?
Liquor, baby, liquor.
Now that's better.
Why didn't you just say so?
I was trying
to pronounce it properly.
Not in amerique, honey.
Would you do me a favor?
What's that?
Give me the recipe
to that skinny pie?
You can have anything
in the world you want.
Marion.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Adele, happy Thanksgiving.