A Different World (1987–1993): Season 3, Episode 7 - Wedding Bells from Hell - full transcript

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £



£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £

go away.

I'm busy now.

You really should eat
a balanced breakfast.

This is balanced...

"corn, salt,
powdered cheese..."

That's why your hair
is nacho colored.

See, I need somebody
to take care of me.

Yeah, but your mama
is in buffalo.



Remember that contest
at the car wash?

Hawaiian honeymoon?

Mm-hmm.

I won.

You won?

That is fantastic, Walter.

Who you going to take?

My wife.

You do not have one.

You are missing this, woman.

You are missing this.

Walter, missing what?
Missing what?

My proposal to you.

Now, I was going
to get around to it sooner or
later

but fate, and suds and duds
car wash said

the time is now.

Will you marry me?

You're serious.

Walter...
I mean, marriage...

That's such a big step. I
mean...

I know from experience

this is not something
you just jump into.

Will you marry me?

Eventually.

Jaleesa, what is the
difference between now and
eventually?

I will tell you the
diffrence. Eventually, we will
not have

a free honeymoon trip in Hawaii.

But Walter I'm graduating
in a few months.

What if I get a job
in another state?

Mere details.

Look at the big picture. Check
this out..

Sunset in Honolulu,
pig roasting over an open fire

and me in a tight
spandex swimsuit.

Well, as enticing as that is

I mean, you know, shouldn't
we think about this?

Think about it on the plane.

Like my high tops say,
"just do it."

Just do it.

Is that a yes?

Yes.

Yes! Ahh!

Two dozen donuts?

Oh, tell me what happened.

Share the story.

Share the pain.

Freddie and I went out
on a double date.

With twins.

Double the horror.

Two, two, two duds in one.

Ladies, still savoring
the memories of your evening

with the brothers grimm?

What did you do last night?

Her nails.

That's right...

In preparation
for my Saturday night date.

Friday nights are for amateurs.

Yeah, right.

And when was your last
romantic liaison?

You don't remember?

We have an announcement.

Mr. Walter oakes
and miss jaleesa vinson

are getting hitched.

As in married?

When?
Where?

Why?

Oh...

When it's right, it's right!

I love it!

It's wonderful.

A little sudden, but wonderful.

Jaleesa, I hope you're not
planning to be a Christmas
bride.

You'll undercut your
gift potential by a third.

I forgot about the gifts. I'm
glad we're getting hitched in
two weeks.

Two weeks?

Walter, what if our families
can't make it?

We're all going to be there.

I'll be your maid of honor.

I promise I won't
trip over the train.

Maybe we'll keep this simple...

Me and you in the chaplain's
office.

I would look
rather fly in a top hat

some tails, some real shoes.

But Walter, I can't plan a
wedding now, I mean, I don't
have time.

I'd have to pick out invitations

floral arrangements, gowns...

Don't you worry about a thing.

I'll take care of everything.

I will need
an able assistant, though.

Okay, okay, twist my arm,
why don't you.

Dwayne?

Me?

Yeah, let's hit it.

I have a tutoring session.

Let him flunk.

We got a wedding.

Hey, whitley...

No, don't come in!

I'm not dressed.

Don't peek and take off
those glasses.

I drew up the seating
arrangement as outlined

in Cynthia Rutledge's
guide for brides.

Who is this Rutledge babe?

Miss Cynthia Rutledge
of Florence, Alabama

is the world's foremost
authority on weddings planning.

Well, if she's such an authority

why is she still a "miss"?

Ooh. Somebody needs
to marry you.

No, not in this color.

Not for the first time.

Uh, whitley, only gumby
could reach this zipper.

Would you like a hand?

Thank you, Dwayne.

Hey, what's this?

Whoo, she pads her bra!

She pads her bra-ha-ha-ho!

Dwayne, you owe me a secret now.

A very... very big one.

Whitley, I don't have
any secrets bigger than this.

Well, make one up.

Okay, I got a secret for you.

I like somebody and I
don't think she knows it.

Really?

Yeah.

Is she pretty?

It's not the first thing
you notice.

Oh, well, I think

you should tell this individual

exactly how you feel.

What if she doesn't
feel the same way?

Then you'd be
terribly humiliated

and I don't think you should
tell this individual.

Whitley, you have the greatest
shoulders I've ever seen.

Dwayne...

I'll come back later.

Good idea.

No, please, stay!

We were just discussing
shoulders... seating

for the wedding arrangements.

Why don't I go check on
the folding tables.

Why don't you, Dwayne?

I'll see you later.

£ here comes the gown,
here comes the gown. £

jaleesa, she just said

£ here comes the gown. £

just give me one minute
and I will be finished.

32 pages of "a."

Now all I have to do
this weekend is get married.

I'm getting married.

In that gorgeous dress.

I'm getting married.

Just think jaleesa,
by this time tomorrow

you're gonna be jaleesa oakes.

Jaleesa oakes.

Sounds like
a retirement village.

No, no just picture

a winding country road,
a little red house

swing on the porch

station wagon in the driveway.

Mrs. Oakes, isn't it
your turn to car pool?

Oh no darling, you can tell
those children to take a bus,

because we are living in the
city.

High-tech condo,
baby with a nanny.

I'll be walking to work
in my running shoes

have my briefcase in one hand,
Italian pumps in the other.

And by the time I get home
it will be, "darling, what is
for dinner?"

Are you surethis is
what Walter wants?

You know, I don't know.

I never asked him.

Well, I'm sure it'll
all work out, I mean,

you've been married before.

So, you know what it takes
to make a marriage go pfft!

£ ...Happy trails to you £

I ain't going nowhere.

£ till we meet again. £

yea, yea, yea, alright.

Fellas, fellas

don't think it hasn't
been wild and crazy

but I need to get to a
party with some women,
thank you.

Yeah right.
What's the matter there man?

You know, you act like you
expected dancing girls
here or something.

At least a movie.

Go see Bambi
or something, go ahead son.

Whoo, man!

All right.

Now, what time does
that stripper get here?

You two guys know how
to throw a party, man.

I'm a happy guy.

That's because you're not
actually married yet.

Yeah that's right, 'cause it's
time to retire from the poker
quartet.

So just turn in your chips.

And throw away
your bowling shirt.

That's right buddy it's over.

The kid ain't changing.

But she will.

They take off the veil
and put on radar.

Oh yeah, it's over.

Just because you guys married
women that control you...

I'm not controlled by anybody.

My marriage is 50-50.

Half the time,
velma makes me nuts

the other half,
she makes me crazy.

But you're happy.

I'm still with her.

Ever since the mount pleasant
sweethearts picnic.

I was behind the grill,
cooking the gospel bird

big hickory cloud
in front of me.

When the smoke cleared,
there was velma.

I said, "wing or thigh?"

You know the rest.

You dog, dog.

That's what it's all about.

I still don't know
what it's all about.

After Vietnam, I thought
marriage would be easy.

But after we split up

dude, I needed a rest.

I couldn't, I re-upped
for another two or three years.

You know, I think i"MMA like
being married, man.

You know, piling the kids
in the winnebago.

Camping out underneath
the stars.

Having food fights in
every national park
in the country.

And where is jaleesa gonna be?

Gassing up the camper.

Mhm. You sure
got a lot to learn, I'm telling
you that right now.

Well, it's "till death do you
part."

You got plenty of time
to learn it.

Walter?
I'll tell you that right now.

Yeah.

Walter, I've got to talk to you.

What's the matter?

I think we should
call off the wedding.

What's the boy done now?

I don't know.

But just incase it isn't, I
better tell velma to put the
chili on simmer.

She's been defrosting
ground Chuck since Thursday.

Listen, kids, about
this marriage thing...

You know, people, w-what
you have to...

Good luck.

Okay, give it to me.

What's the matter?

Well, I hope this is
a false alarm.

Everything.

On the way over here

a bunch of people
I don't even know yelled at me,

"see you at the wedding."

Walter, this whole thing is
turning into showtime at the
Apollo.

I mean, who are these people?

The soul train dancers.

They're doing a number
at the reception.

Everything is going to be fine.

Walter, and my family can't be
here.

I just... I really feel like
we should just wait.

Jaleesa, we've been all
through this before.

If we had eloped,
your family wouldn't be here.

So why don't you tell me
what this is all about.

Well, you know what happened
with my first husband.

Hey, you're not marrying
some two-timing dog.

You're marrying me.

Face it,
your taste has improved.

I don't know, I guess I just
have cold feet.

Hey it's nnormal, I got em too.

I've got on
an extra pair of tube socks.

You have doubts, too?

Well, the guys said you'll turn
into a warden with a beeper.

And I said that you won't.

Will you?

Hmm-mm.

We've got such
a good relationship.

We trust each other.

We respect each other.

And we would never
hurt each other.

That's my girl.

Walter...

What do you want from me?

I just want you to love me

and of course, cook, clean,
iron, wash the car...

Basic woman stuff.

Okay, as long as
you have the baby.

Babies.

Ba-by.

If we work this all out right
now

we won't have anything
to argue about

for the next 25 years.

50 years.

One more right here, and...

Finito.

We've done such a good job

I think even old girl Cynthia
would be proud.

I just wanna thank you, Dwayne.

I hope you're around
for my wedding.

So what kind of a husband
do you want, whitley?

What do you think?

Rich.

I thought you knew me
better than that.

I would like a man
who is educated...

Um, enterprising...

And ambitious.

So, you wouldn't mind
if he was poor?

That kind of man is never poor.

Could you settle for a man

who is going to be
all these things?

Maybe an engineer, perhaps?

Look how crooked
that centerpiece is.

Whitley...

Wait, Dwayne!

Look at me!

Look at me.

It's clear to me
that something's...

The way is clear.

Oh, look, the cake.

It looks just like it does
in the picture.

I'm whitley Gilbert,
director of the wedding.

I'm velma, wife of
the bald-headed man.

Oh, Mrs. Gaines, we've heard
so much about you.

Complaining again?

All the time.

Son, put down that staple gun
and go unload the chili

from my car.

Now, don't sneak a taste

but we got the beans counted.

It looks lovely in here.

Thank you.

It's all my vision...
And Dwayne's elbow grease.

He's your sweetie, isn't he?

He's just a friend.

They start out as friends,
then they end up as husbands.

He's not my type.

You think Vernon's my type?

Come on velma, shake a leg.

You know, it's gonna take you
more than three hours

to put on that hat.

Mrs. Gaines,
this chili smells delicious.

Thank you, dear.

I'd grab on to him.

Well, it looks like
we're all done.

No, no, we're not.

What's left?

See you at the wedding.

On behalf of Walter and jaleesa

I'd like to welcome each of you
to this sacred event.

I'll never forget the first time

I saw Walter
and jaleesa together.

It was at a faculty retreat.

We were all gathered
around the pool.

Walter just climbed up
the high dive and jumped in.

Meanwhile, jaleesa sat on the
edge of the shallow end
testing the water.

I remember.

I watched you two

with your different approaches,
arrive at the same place.

And, that's what's going to make
your marriage a successful one.

Two people with
different approaches

who have arrived
at the same place.

And with any luck,
it will be forever.

"Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today

"to join Walter and jaleesa
in holy matrimony.

"Is there anyone here
who, for any reason

"objects to the marriage
of these two people?

If so, speak now,
or forever hold your peace."

Forever?

£ and ever and ever,
hallelujah, hallelujah! £

babies?

Babies, Walter and a winnebago.

Babies, babies. Walter
and a winnebago.

I object!
I object!

What?!
What?!

What?!

You don't want to marry me?

You don't want to marry me.

Jaleesa, I can't promise you
forever.

Walter, I can't promise you
babies, and I am not gonna go
live on a bus.

Minister:
Ladies and gentlemen

if you'll just
bear with us, please.

What should we do?

Do I understand that neither one
of you want to be married?

Both:
No.

Then I suggest
cancel the wedding.

Now, do you want me to
tell them?

No, we'll tell them...
You tell them.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we're very sorry

but Walter and I have decided
not to get married.

Jaleesa!

Hey, hey!

We appreciate y'all coming
down here today,

but, it's better to do it now,
in front of a preacher

than later on,
in front of a judge.

Really, no, everybody,
this is a good thing.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

We really are making
the right decision.

So turn up the music.

Come on, everybody,
eat some chili, okay?

What about the reception?

What about the wedding dresses?

What about the wedding flowers?

Velma, the cake was all right

but you missed on the chili.

A little heavy-handed
with the jalapenos.

You can sweet talk me all you
want, but I'm driving.

You know you have
night blindness.

Oh, we really wanna thank you
two for everything.

Hey, before you go,

there's still that matter
of the Hawaiian honeymoon.

Well, I'm not going with you.

Jaleesa and I want you and
velma to go.

Oh Walter, we can't accept that.

Oh, yes, we can.

Velma, I promised
I'd show you the world.

Oh, you sweet man.

Kiss me on my lips, hula girl.

I'm still driving.

All right.

You know,

this really wasn't
what I had in mind

when I pictured our wedding

but um, I think it worked out
for the best.

Yeah, well at least we don't
have to send out any
thank-you notes.

We? Now, you would of
have had me sign

each and every one of them.

I would've lick the stamps.

Well, it's about time to
get out of these duds.

If I take them back tonight

I might get
some of my money back.

You know Walter, I hope you
find a wife

to ride shotgun
in that winnebago.

She'll have
a tough act to follow.

Thank you.

You know, what we had...

It was good.

It was all right.

Good-bye.

Heads up!

Whitley, what do you say

we run down and catch
the midnight flick

at the dillard?

Um, I'm not ready to make
that kind of commitment, Dwayne.

It's only two hours.

Well, it might be just a movie
to you

but to me, it's a date.

What's so wrong about that?

It will lead to other dates...

And... and long walks...

And dinner...

And after dinner...

Eventually breakfast.

Whitley, you know how
I feel about you.

But I'm not ready for this.

I"m not... I don't know
when I will be.

I just don't think it's fair

to have you sitting around
waiting for me.

I hadn't planned to.

Oh.

Hey, when you're ready,
the popcorn's on me.

I like it unbuttered.

No salt.

You do know me well.

Mhm. What do you say we Polish
off that cake.

So well.
Uh-huh.

I've been waiting
for this all night.

Yes indeed.
Excuse me.

Yes?

They were lovely.

Good-bye.

I'll take this piece.

I'll take this piece.

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