A Different World (1987–1993): Season 3, Episode 6 - Delusions of Daddyhood - full transcript

Despite Whitley's objections, rap group Heavy D. and the Boyz arrive at Hillman for a benefit concert.

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £



£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from. £

okay, people, excuse me. Excuse
me.

Some of the biggest names
in the music industry

have responded about
performing at our benefit.

I knew they'd come around.

"Dear hillman united negro
college fund benefit committee:

"No."

"No."

"I'd love to"



"but my parole hearing
has been moved back."

Guys we have been
turned down by the best.

Maybe we can raise money

selling the autographs
on those letters.

Hey! Any luck with the
responses?

No!

Great. I just got off the
phone with one of my
homeboys

he says he will do the show!

How much do you think we can get
for these autographs?

Oh, oh okay, I'll just tell my
partners, heavy d. And the boyz

that we're not interested.

You know heavy d.?

Dwayne, Dwayne. Tell him that we
will give him a deluxe hotel
suite

a limo for the entire weekend

and an honorary degree
from hillman.

Heavy doesn't want
those things, he wants to help.

Good, 'cause I was lying.

I knew you were.

Hey, it's not official
until we vote.

Heavy d. Did all the
voting we needed
when he said, "yes."

Meeting adjourned.

As usual, I have saved the day.

It took some doing

but I convinced the blue Ridge
valley opera company

to perform highlights
from Carmen.

Oh guys, really,
no need for a standing ovation.

Where you all going?

Whitley, we have got a
concert to put on.

I got heavy d.
And the boyz.

Well, I veto heavy d.
And the boyz.

That will teach you to be late.

Dwayne, never let it be said
that I'm not one to compromise.

Perhaps your little friends
can perform a tune or two

while my opera singers
are gargling.

Whitley, here's a dollar.

Go buy a clue.

Elizabeth, I'm glad you're here.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Colonel Taylor
was in a mood today.

He gave us 100 extra push-ups

which didn't bother me a bit

if you notice these guns.

Another week of this

and I'll give Mike Tyson
a run for his money.

I can see
the press conference now.

Yo, I thought I was
the best in the world.

But then this aluminum Ron came.

He's the real champion.

Okay, aluminum.

While I was waiting,
I did a little work on our
project.

I roughed out
our marketing plan, look.

Good. Because last night, I
came up with this
manufacturing schedule.

Hmm.

What do you think?

I think I've got the perfect
partner for this project.

You know, I missed LaToya on TV
last night to do this.

I caught her. Can tell you what
she said.

It won't take but a second.

You don't like LaToya?!

I just think you can do better,
that's all.

Well, of all the Jackson
sisters, she's got the
best nose.

Sergeant Johnson.

Colonel Taylor, sir.

I've never seen anyone do
100 push-ups so quickly before
in my life.

Thank you, sir.

Of course, now I see the reason
why.

Carry on, carry on.

So, you want to grab
a pizza later?

Every time I'm with you,
we eat, boy.

Well, how about a movie?

I know a theater
that doesn't even sell popcorn.

Sounds great.

But I've got
a lot of things to do.

I'll see you in class.

All right.

Bye, aluminum.

Bye.

The heavy d. Tickets
are being printed up as we
speak.

Finally we get some
culture on this campus.

Yes and I've reserved two
tickets in your name,
front row center.

So, who's gonna be the
lucky bimbo?

Actually, I was thinking about
taking Elizabeth James.

She's not your type.

Your women usually have I.Q.S
that match their bra size.

I know.

What's with you, man?

I don't know. When I'm with
Elizabeth, I have to think

and I could get used to this.

Oh, this is a sad day
for tacky women everywhere.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Ron.

Hi.
Hi, this is
a nice surprise.

Well, I was in the library

I found this book...

Are you baby-sitting?

Um, you could say that.

This is my son, Isaac.

Your son.

Your son?

Your son?

Your own personal son?

It's okay, Ron.

Just relax.

Sure.

So how did this happen?

I know how it happened,
but when?

My sophomore year.

Oh, what about his father?

Are you married?

No, I'm not married.

He's in grad school in Chicago.

I think the idea of a family

was a bit much for him.

Do you want something
from the kitchen?

I was about to go and get Isaac
some ice.

Does he take his bottles
on the rocks?

He's teething.

Are you sure
you don't want a soda?

No, I'm fine.

Okay.

I'm gonna be back in a minute

could you watch him for me?

Ooh!

Hello, baby.

Da-da.

Da-da?

Oh, no, no da-da here.

Ron-Ron.

I'm just in class
with your mother.

We don't even share notes.

We don't even sit together.

You look very comfortable
with a baby on your lap.

Well, I used to do
a ventriloquist act.

So, um, is this book
for our project?

Book?

Oh, yeah, the book.

"Friendly takeovers
and hostile mergers."

I can't wait to see the movie.

Oh, what is he, two, three,
five?

He's 13 months.

Guess he's a little young
to help out with the rent.

Um, are you sure you don't want
something cold to drink?

No, no. No, um...

Actually, I think I
better get... better
get going.

Um, I'll see you in class.

Ron.

The book.

Oh.

The book, yeah.

I'm sure you'll
take good care of it.

You take care of him.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Jaleesa, I haven't
seen you in two days.

Iwalter, I cannot talk now

I have got to make
arrangements to get heavy d.
From the airport

and the only car available
is a pinto.

Well I hope you got our tickets?

Oh gosh, our tickets!

That's the other thing I forgot.

I'll do it.

Jusst make sure you get my
seat where I like them...

Next to the aisle,
so I can dance.

Mr. Johnson.

Colonel.

What's the matter?

You're not your usual
hyperactive self.

I think Mr. Gaines's chili
gave me a little heartburn.

I'll be all right.

Okay, well thanks for the
warning.

Colonel, how old were you
when you had your first child?

Why do you ask?

See, there's this girl...
Actually, a 22-year-old woman.

I like her a lot.

At least I thought I liked
her until I found out about
the baby.

Well, is it..?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's good to know.

I don't know what to do.

Part of me says

"help her out,
take care of her."

The other part of me says

"my name is brown
and I'm leaving town."

Are you sure it's not yours?

Absolutely certain, sir.

That's the only thing
I'm certain of.

If I don't call her anymore

she's gonna think it's
because of the... the kid.

And why wouldn't you call her?

Because of the kid.

You should see him.

He's got the cutest
little popeye legs.

He's even cute when he drools.

But what kind of life will
he have without a man around?

Now, Mr. Johnson...

Getting involved with
a woman who has a child

is a responsibility

that a lot of men
would shy away from.

Kids have a way of
becoming very attached.

Go slow. Hmm?

I hear you, colonel.

Okay.

You sure it's not..?

Colonel!

Just checking, just checking.

Whitley, I'm not gonna sign a
petition to ban heavy d.

Why not?

Because I like heavy d.

You would like
that vulgarian squawking.

Oh, I'm used to it.

I live with you.

Strike a blow
for musical sanity!

Ban rap!

Don't be the last to sign!

I'll sign because
I can't stand all that noise.

Someone with sense.

Ever since I went
to aunt Bertha's...

She's really velma's cousin,
uh-huh

but everybody call her
aunt Bertha.

One night, we watching
this nice show about dolphins

or mammals or fish.

They was just about
to reveal the truth

when little Karen
took the remote.

Next thing you know

we watching
"yo, mtv raps."

Waste of the airwaves.

Wild children wearing
gold chains and gold teeth

and flapping around

like guppies on dry land.

£ how's the petition? £

£ have you saved us
all from rap? £

£ are we to listen
to operatic crap? £

kiss my Aria.

Now, you've gone too far.

Last year, you rented a dog
to meet women.

And now a baby.

This is really low.

I'm baby-sitting for a friend.

Who?

You wouldn't know her, she's a
business major.

In college with a baby?

Wow!

You know, having a child
really matures a person.

I bet that would
really center me.

Freddie, you can barely
take care of yourself.

Hey, I thought Emmanuel Lewis
went to Clark college.

This is Elizabeth's son.

Elizabeth is a mother?!

As in "eat your vegies,
clean your room, and go get me
the belt" mama?

She's not your mother.

Ron, why didn't you tell me
about this?

I told you I was
seeing Elizabeth.

You said you were
seeing a girl with
her own crib,

you didn't say her crib
had a baby in it.

That's why I didn't tell you.

You can't dal with
responsibility.

Oh, okay well then I guess
you're not going

to the welcome party
at heavy's hotel?

A welcoming party for heavy d?

No, I am there.

This party is not
being catered by gerber's.

Freddie, you want
to go meet heav?

Bye, cutie.

Bye, papa Ron.

Later.

Well, I guess it's just
me and you, kid.

Don't worry.

You'll grow into it.

This what I want you to do,
let's try this.

I want you to run to
the end of the carpet

cut across the middle

and i'MMA hit you
with the bullet.

Alright? You ready?

Wait a minute.

Yeah, now you look
like a tough guy.

Ready, go.

Go. Yeah.

Okay, we'll try
the short pattern.

Ready? Catch.

Oh!

You're future's
definitely in announcing, son.

Here, here, come look at this.

Come look at this.

Look at the nice horsey potty.

Horsey potty

now, if you're going to
hang out with uncle Ron

you're gonna have to learn
how to use one of these.

Uncle Ron?

Looks like you two are
having a good time.

Is anything broken?

No. Isaac's been great.

I was talking about you.

I'm just teaching the little guy

things a guy should teach a guy.

You know, if you get him any
more toys

there's not gonna be room for
him in the playpen.

Come on, sweetie,
it's time for your nap.

Oh, but, you know, I still
should buy him that toy
car phone.

Ron, he doesn't even have a car.

Yes, he does.

It's parked in the kitchen.

What about if we just hold off
until Christmas.

Well, I hope he can
wait that long.

Elizabeth?

Yeah?

I know this is short notice

but how would you like to go see
heavy d. On Saturday night?

Heavy d.?
Yeah.

I'd love to.

Great.

But I don't know

if I can find a baby-sitter.

Well, why don't we
bring him with us?

Take a baby to a concert?

What if I find
a responsible baby-sitter?

Then will you go?

Yes, I'll go.

You will?

Oh, great.

Then I'm off to find you
a responsible baby-sitter.

And then you can think about me
and you and heavy d.

And we're off to the concert.

I see you later.

Later on, Isaac.

I like that little guy,
you know?

Huh!

Huh!

Huh!

Hey, jaleesa, Ernest.

I'd like you to meet my partners

heavy d. And the boyz.

What's up?

Hello, please to meet you.

We really appreciate you guys
agreeing to do the show for us.

You were our first choice.

Yeah, okay.

Hey, let me show you the stage.

It's a little known fact.
Big stuff and I began our
musical careers together.

We were in the junior
high school marching band. Right
heav?

Yeah, but super worm here
was so skinny

during halftime he would march
right out of his drawers.

Yeah, but at least my
mama didn't have to sew

two potato sacks together
to make my drawers.

Jaleesa.

The box office is in a tizzy.

Something about
counterfeit tickets?

Oh gosh, I better get on this.

Excuse me.

Dwayne do me a favor, would you
finish the sound check for me,
please?

Better go.
Yes ma'am.

Watch it, watch it big boy.

Can you imagine

printing up fake tickets
for this thing?

No.

Now, wouldn't you have paid
the same amount of money

if not a tad bit more

to hear selections from bizet's
timeless opera, Carmen?

Opera's cool, and Carmen
is one of my favorites.

Mine, too.
Really?

Certainly is easier
on the ear than that
rhyming racket.

Ah, I wouldn't say that.

You know, opera and rap do have
some similarities.

What, besides the fact
that neither is sung in English?

Well, first of all, they're both
forms of storytelling.

And did you know
the critics of the time

dissed Carmen just about as hard
as you're dissing rap?

I refuse to believe that.

It's true, look it up.

They said Carmen
was crude and lacked melody.

How could they say that
about "beware of love"

or "ramparts of Seville"?

I tell you what lacks melody.

It's that diddly, diddly,
diddly, diddly

diddly, diddly,
diddly, diddly d.

That's what i'm talking about.

Not right now, Dwayne.

Talking to a fellow opera lover.

What was your name?

D.

D.

Mhm, but my friends
call me "heavy."

Children can be so cruel.

Well, heavy...

Heavy "diddly" d.?

Bon diddly, diddly, diddly d.

Pleasure.

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't mean to be this early.

Ron, um..
These are for you.

Oh, they're lovely.

Thank you.

And the Teddy bear's for Isaac.

I didn't mean to buy it.

It just reached into my pocket
and said, "buy me, buy me."

So, where is the little guy?

Um, he's asleep, finally.

He's been cranky all day.

Boy's upset over his car phone.

Ron...

I can't go to the concert.

Isaac's running a fever.

Well, according to
all the baby books I've read

that's normal
when they're teething.

Give him an ice cube.

I just want to be with him
in case it's something more.

But this is heavy d.

And the sitter's on her way.

Ron, I'm so sorry

but I can't go.

Then neither will I.

We'll just spend
a quiet evening at home.

You, me, Isaac
and all his little teeth.

Ron, I think you should go
and have a great time.

What about you?
You need a life.

If there's one thing I have,
it's a life.

But I also have priorities.

And going to a concert,
even with a very sweet guy

just isn't one of them
right now.

But I can't leave you at
home alone with the baby.

The baby is my son.

Ron, I think you're trying to
create an instant family here.

Add Ron and stir.

We're not pudding.

I just don't want to be
one of those guys

who runs away
from responsibility.

Isaac isn't your responsibility.

Don't you think he needs..?

What Isaac needs

is a parent who loves
and cares for him.

He has that in me.

Ahem.

That he does.

I'm going to miss
the little fellow.

What are you leaving
the country?

Well, no, I just figured you
meant when...

Oh.

People like you
are hard to come by.

I need a friend like you
in my life.

Well, when Isaac's teeth grow in

can we go to the park?

No, you still owe me a movie.

You're on.

Come here.

Turn me down for more concerts.

Now do me a favor.

Yeah.

Go.

Oh, yeah.

I better get to the concert.

I got a ticket to scalp.

For charity.

Yeah, right.

Thank you, thank you.

And the u.N.C.F. Thanks you
for your support.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm proud to announce

a very favorite group
of all time.

You're going to love
these fellows.

They're veritable poets of
the...

Heavy d.
And the boyz!

£ I want somebody
to love me for me £

£ happy is the way
that I want to be £

£ I searched low
and I searched high £

£ tryin' to find myself
a cutie pie £

£ my destination leads me
to a dead end £

£ over and over and over again £

£ they told me to wait
so I waited £

£ anticipated, debated
and delayed it £

£ but still came up
with the same old thing £

£ nothin' £

£ it seems as if every time
I find the right girl £

£ she turns out to be
the very wrong girl £

£ tell me, y'all £

£ when will
this madness stop, stop? £

£ I want somebody to
love me for me £

£ not because I'm mc heavy d. £

£ I'm lookin' for a love that's
solid as a rock, rock £

£ I want somebody
to love me for me £

£ happy is the way
that I want to be £

£ I want somebody
to love me for me £

£ happy is the way
that I want to be £

£ now maybe I'll
take a trip around the world £

£ and find myself
a beautiful, gorgeous girl £

£ they say when you look
one never finds £

£ they also say
that love is blind £

£ I ain't that blind
that I can't see £

£ somebody out there
who's perfect for me £

£ somebody who's
gonna love me for me £

£ I know you want a love £

£ love, that's
what I'm talkin' about £

£ a relationship, a commitment £

£ something to live for £

£ maybe if you take your time £

£ time has been taken
and time has been spent £

£ now it's time
for the lover to score, score £

Go, heavy.

Go, heavy.

Go, heavy.

Go, heavy.

Go, heavy.

Go, heavy.

£so that's the story
of my life £

£no cutie pie, no future wife £

£just relationships
that bounce back like rubber £

£ yo, word
to the mutha! £

£ I guess I'll
call it a day for now £

£ 'cause it seems
that I can't win £

£ so I'll carry on being
an overweight lover £

£ word to the mutha! £

£ I want somebody
to love me for me £

£ happy is the way
that I want to be... £

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