A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 6 - If You Like Pilgrim Coladas - full transcript
Whitley takes a homesick Kim to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner.
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ I know now that I'm ready £
£ for I finally heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ yes, it is now, yeah £
£ here's our chance to make it £
£ and if we focus on our goal £
£ you can dish it,
we can take it £
£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ ooh £
£ than where you come from £
Turkey, corn bread stuffing,
sweet potato pie.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
That's what I call
a Thanksgiving feast.
How many boys are staying
for the holiday?
I guess between three and five.
I didn't ask you to guess.
I need a number.
It keeps changing.
Flu's going around.
Tell them to eat chicken broth
over at student health.
I don't want them
spreading germs.
Health department come by,
they'll board me up.
Miss vinson, I can't see
your face without smiling.
Oh, Mr. Gaines.
I'm sorry, but I still don't
know how many girls are staying.
You better have a number.
Two for sure,
but some are getting sick.
With that pesky flu?
Just send your girls over here
for some of my
Turkey noodle soup.
Those germs will be gone before
the spoon hits their lips.
How come they don't have
to go to student health?
Because I like her.
Thank you, Mr. Gaines.
Walter, are we still
leaving at 3:00?
I told Eric I'd be home
9:00, 9:30.
You tell Eric to be
on your porch
at 9:27
and 15 seconds.
If he's half a second late
you're riding all the way
to New York with moi.
Have a happy Thanksgiving,
Mr. Gaines.
Same to you.
Who's Eric?
Her boyfriend.
Let me give you some advice.
Are you crazy?
Well, you must be.
Driving the woman you love
to some other man.
In your own car.
I hope he's paying for the gas.
Would you give me
a little credit?
It's a nice long ride
to New Jersey.
Just jaleesa and me.
We'll stop at a cozy inn
for some supper.
By the time she gets home
she'll say, "who's
that man on my porch?"
After six hours in a car,
you're going to stink.
If you want any kind
of future with this girl
put her on a boat.
Walter, you've got to help me.
Why can't you just say "hi"?
It's not my fault...
My ride to New York is sick.
I stuffed him behind the wheel
but the brother's too weak
to shift into first gear.
I'd help, but my car's full.
There's a big
football game tomorrow
and I got a date
with big butt Brenda.
No can do, brother.
If I don't get home
by Thanksgiving
my mother's going to kill me.
Here's enough
to get you there by bus.
I knew you'd come through.
The trip back is on your mama.
Freddie, aren't you supposed
to be 10,000 feet in the air?
I was flying standby.
That's exactly what I was doing
when the plane took off...
Standing by.
Freddie, why don't you come
home with me for Thanksgiving?
No. I messed up.
I should stay here, by myself,
and suffer the consequences
of my own foolishness
and irresponsibility.
It's too bad, though.
Plenty of good food at my place.
Good company.
You can meet Eric.
Maybe even sit next to him.
I could really check him out
if I sat across from him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Don't over
stuff on the stuffing
and as your driving back Sunday,
remember
there is a curfew.
Colonel Taylor,
what brings you
to our barracks?
I understand Ms. Bostic
has left you
in charge of the dorm.
Yes. From now until Monday,
I am the commanding officer.
I was quite honored
when lettie thrust
the mantle of responsibility
on my shoulders.
How many in your command?
Actually, one.
My roommate, Kimberly.
But she's a freshman
and quite a handful.
If she gets out of line,
you call me.
Yes, sir!
You don't even have
to take me to New York.
Just near New York.
Maine? New Hampshire?
Michigan?
You don't even have to stop.
Just slow down
and I'll jump out.
I've done it before.
Whitley, every bus in
the state of Virginia is booked.
I guess my mama's
out shopping for a new son now.
Kimberly and I would be happy
to have you dine
with us in the pit.
You can carve the Turkey roll.
Why are you here?
I thought you'd be in some place
that ends in "iti."
The juice spa with mama
or rio with daddy
and his miss junior cupcake.
I could hang out with your pops.
You still got your ticket?
Hello, Walter.
Whitley.
Jaleesa,
you're messing up my schedule.
Forget packing.
Just bring the whole closet.
All right, Walter.
We're coming.
We're ready.
I forgot my guitar.
You mind if I
play it in the car?
Why is she playing
a guitar in my car?
I asked her
to come home with me.
Why?
She had nowhere to go.
That is no reason...
The guitar rides on the roof.
No problem.
Fine with me.
Let's go.
Good-bye, Walter.
Say hi
to the statue of Liberty for me.
Get in the car.
Ow, my man!
You open your mouth,
you ride with the guitar.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Gobble, gobble.
Don't put Christina on the phone
she's only six weeks old.
Mom, I'm not lonely.
There's plenty of people here.
Oh, mom, don't start crying.
You know we can't
afford two trips.
Christmas is not that far away.
We're going to have
a great Turkey dinner
down at the pit.
Ma... ma... mom,
calm down.
It's only called the pit.
I love you, too.
You better hustle your bustle.
We don't want to miss
Mr. Gaines's Turkey on a stick.
I'm ready.
You're wearing that?
All right, I'll change.
Thank you.
And how are things
on the home front?
Oh, fine.
They got the walnut
out of chuckie's ear.
Well, he has something
to be thankful for, doesn't he?
They're just sitting
down to dinner now.
In a minute, mom's going
to bring out the Turkey
to the table.
And dad will say,
"look at the legs on that bird.
I'm talking about your mama,
not the Turkey."
Tells that same old
stupid joke every year.
And then mama slaps him
with the potholder.
And everybody...
And everybody...
Kim, now.
We'll have none of that.
Blot, blot, blot.
Don't rub, you'll get
all red and puffy.
Whitley...
Whitley...
£ little Sally waters £
£ sitting in a saucer £
£ rise, Sally, rise £
£ wipe your weeping eyes £
£turn to the east,
then turn to the west... £
there...
That's better.
Never missed Thanksgiving.
I want to go home.
Kim, stop!
What's the big deal
about Thanksgiving, anyway?
Everyone sitting around
trying to choke down
some dried-up old bird.
My mom makes good bird.
Titi sitting at mama's feet,
wagging her tail.
Mama saying, "titi,
breast meat or thigh meat?"
I bet there's no wings
on a Turkey roll.
Mama sitting at one
end of the table
and daddy sitting
way at the other end.
And me, sitting across
from old uncle Percy
wondering if he's
going to wake up
before his head hits the table.
I guess there won't be
any more thanksgivings
like that, will there?
I hate the pit.
We're pitiful.
Pathetic.
Got to get out of here.
This dorm is so depressing.
We got to go someplace.
Leave our blues at the door.
Someplace fun.
You know a fun place?
I know many fun places.
The huckleberry inn.
They have a wonderful
baked Alaska.
I'm not into desserts on fire.
We need a place
where we can party.
Some excitement.
This is our ticket to fun.
An I.D.?
Even better.
A fake I.D.
Ooh, this is pretty.
Look, little Indian corn.
We should have gone to the pit.
At least those people
there are alive.
Just give the place a chance.
It's early yet.
Any minute
a bus full of fun people
will roll through.
Anything's possible.
The music will be starting
any minute.
I bet they play polkas.
This is the worst Thanksgiving
I've ever had.
Kimberly, think positive.
I'm positive... this is the worst
Thanksgiving I've ever had.
Good evening, ladies.
Can I get you something?
Beer, please.
I.D., please.
Here you go.
Naomi Cunningham.
You're 26?
I use a lot of moisturizer.
Too much.
Let me get you something
more interesting
than a couple of beers.
Our Thanksgiving special...
Pilgrim coladas.
Terrific.
I haven't had
one of those in years.
Kimberly
stop making goo-goo eyes
at that salesman.
How do you know he's a salesman?
That suit's got "slashed prices"
written all over it.
We did not come here
trolling for men.
Speak for yourself.
Okay, fine.
I'll sit back and enjoy
the musical styling
of the duarte brothers
while you Bob for idiots.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen
senores y senoras.
Bob and I need to let
our fingers cool down.
You do the same for your feet
and we'll be back in five.
Thanks for the dance.
Thanks I had fun.
Aren't you the little
dancing machine?
Lucky thing you wore
your boogedy-boogedy shoes.
Where's my pilgrim colada?
It took a little trip...
Down the hatch.
Look at that Ramon.
He and I could make
beautiful music together.
I thought we weren't
trolling for men.
Go with the flow, honey.
Gilbert, are you okay?
I'm in rare form.
Ramon.
That's Spanish, isn't it?
It certainly is.
And I do like
the way you say it.
Oh, Ramon.
When Bob returns
I'll be happy to play
anything you like.
Well... andale, Bob.
You know Spanish.
Would you sing along
when we play "la bamba"?
I'm afraid I couldn't.
My espanol is not as bueno
as it seems.
It's bueno enough for me.
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ se necesito
una poca de gracia £
£ poco gracia £
£ una poca de gracia
de mi por ti £
£ arriba arriba £
£ arriba arriba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ la la la bamba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ para bailar la bamba... £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aaaahhh £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ twist and shout £
£ twist and shout £
£ come on, come on,
come on, baby £
£ come on, baby £
£ work it on out £
£ work it on out £
£ listen, little boy £
£ listen, little boy £
£ you know you look so fine £
£ look so fine £
£ come a little closer £
£ come a little closer £
£ show me that you're mine £
£ aah £
oh, my god!
That man's a professor
at my college!
Naomi, you're 25
and still in college?
£ shake it up, baby £
£ we got to go, baby £
£ twist and shout £
we got to go, baby!
£ come on, baby £
over there, baby!
£ work it on out £
over there, baby!
£ ooh, little boy £
£ you know you look so fine £
£ look so fine £
£ come a little closer... £
colonel Taylor, baby!
Everybody, sing!
Good night.
Wait.
You can't leave now, baby.
Yes, I can.
£ shake it up, baby. £
come on, baby.
Hey, come on.
Let her go.
She's done enough shaking
for one night.
Get your own girl.
Take your hands off her.
You all right?
Are you her father?
No, but you behave yourself,
or I'll start acting like yours.
I'm scared now.
Where are your things?
She don't go till I say so.
Behave yourself.
Don't be treating
women like this.
What's wrong with you, boy?
Check, please.
Thank you for driving.
The way my hands are shaking,
I couldn't have held the wheel.
Did we lose the colonel?
I think he knows where we live.
Think of a story
that sounds logical.
Think of something fast!
You think of something.
You're the one that was
twisting and shouting.
Hey!
I have to go to the bathroom.
Not now, you don't.
Colonel Taylor,
allow me to explain.
That wild woman at the lounge
was not really me.
I mean, it was me,
but it wasn't.
What I mean is...
You know the story
of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
I do.
There, too, a perfectly lovely
well-behaved,
even reserved human being
drinks a potion...
Not unlike a pilgrim colada...
And turns into a raving lunatic.
Miss Gilbert...
There was no alcohol
in that drink.
Excuse me?
Pilgrim colada
has no alcohol in it.
It's on the kiddie menu.
You find that funny,
do you, miss Reese...
Or is it miss Cunningham?
Neither one of us
finds it funny, sir.
Mm-hmm.
In case you run into
another identity crisis
I'll just relieve you
of that phony I.D.
Yes, sir.
This is not possible.
There had to be
something in that drink
besides pumpkin mush.
Why else would I act like
a lounge lizardess?
Maybe you were
having a little fun.
No.
That can't be it.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Except for scuffing up
a few tabletops
I didn't see any harm done.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
I've been in the army
for 25 years.
I've spent a lot of time
away from home.
Those holidays...
They're the roughest.
It's easy to lose your decorum
when you're trying
to cheer yourself up.
Well, sir
I bet you never
shimmied in public.
I wouldn't bet money on that.
Colonel Taylor.
Lettie!
You're not due back
until Sunday.
I love my relatives.
They're wonderful people.
I look forward to seeing them
again... next year.
Evening, miss bostic.
Good evening.
I've just been going
from dorm to dorm
making sure everything
is all right.
Everything all right?
Great.
Fine.
All right.
Everything's all right.
Good night, lettie.
Good night.
Good night, ladies.
Good night, sir.
Thank you, sir.
I'm so exhausted.
Me, too.
By the way
I don't believe
one word he said.
But since the building
is still standing
I won't ask any questions...
Till tomorrow.
What a hideous night!
It wasn't hideous.
It was fantastic!
I'm sure you loved
watching your roommate
shake her way into
the fools' hall of fame.
Whitley,
I had a great Thanksgiving.
It's all because of you.
Really?
You had to work hard.
I was determined
to be miserable.
I just did that
so you'd have a good time.
Of course.
Listen.
If I cancel my Christmas plans
can I hang out with you?
I don't think so.
I'll be touring
with Bob and Ramon.
£ la la la bamba £
next year
I'm spending Thanksgiving
at the hospital.
That way,
when my sister's kids go
"can uncle Walter
give us a horsey ride?"
I'll already be in traction.
You know
your friend Eric
ain't half ugly.
He's a tall brother, too.
What is he, about seven foot...
7'3"?
Walter, he was standing
on the porch.
Oh.
So he's about 4'6 "... 4'8"?
I'm just glad you two
had an amorous weekend.
You two did have
an amorous weekend?
I know.
It's none of my business.
Watch the road, please.
I'm watching the road.
I'm just trying
to make conversation.
We could talk about something
altogether different.
Have you seen
the ice capades recently?
Thursday, Eric came over
for Thanksgiving dinner.
On Friday, he took me dancing.
On Saturday,
we went shopping at the mall
and this afternoon, we broke up.
Oh.
That's too bad.
Yeah, that's too bad.
It just wasn't working for me.
Between the distance
and everything
it was just too much.
So you broke it off?
It's never easy
when a relationship ends.
I think I'll be
just fine, Walter.
I'm sure you will.
Did you guys get all of that?
Yeah.
I thought so.
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ I know now that I'm ready £
£ for I finally heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ yes, it is now, yeah £
£ here's our chance to make it £
£ and if we focus on our goal £
£ you can dish it,
we can take it £
£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ ooh £
£ than where you come from £
Turkey, corn bread stuffing,
sweet potato pie.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
That's what I call
a Thanksgiving feast.
How many boys are staying
for the holiday?
I guess between three and five.
I didn't ask you to guess.
I need a number.
It keeps changing.
Flu's going around.
Tell them to eat chicken broth
over at student health.
I don't want them
spreading germs.
Health department come by,
they'll board me up.
Miss vinson, I can't see
your face without smiling.
Oh, Mr. Gaines.
I'm sorry, but I still don't
know how many girls are staying.
You better have a number.
Two for sure,
but some are getting sick.
With that pesky flu?
Just send your girls over here
for some of my
Turkey noodle soup.
Those germs will be gone before
the spoon hits their lips.
How come they don't have
to go to student health?
Because I like her.
Thank you, Mr. Gaines.
Walter, are we still
leaving at 3:00?
I told Eric I'd be home
9:00, 9:30.
You tell Eric to be
on your porch
at 9:27
and 15 seconds.
If he's half a second late
you're riding all the way
to New York with moi.
Have a happy Thanksgiving,
Mr. Gaines.
Same to you.
Who's Eric?
Her boyfriend.
Let me give you some advice.
Are you crazy?
Well, you must be.
Driving the woman you love
to some other man.
In your own car.
I hope he's paying for the gas.
Would you give me
a little credit?
It's a nice long ride
to New Jersey.
Just jaleesa and me.
We'll stop at a cozy inn
for some supper.
By the time she gets home
she'll say, "who's
that man on my porch?"
After six hours in a car,
you're going to stink.
If you want any kind
of future with this girl
put her on a boat.
Walter, you've got to help me.
Why can't you just say "hi"?
It's not my fault...
My ride to New York is sick.
I stuffed him behind the wheel
but the brother's too weak
to shift into first gear.
I'd help, but my car's full.
There's a big
football game tomorrow
and I got a date
with big butt Brenda.
No can do, brother.
If I don't get home
by Thanksgiving
my mother's going to kill me.
Here's enough
to get you there by bus.
I knew you'd come through.
The trip back is on your mama.
Freddie, aren't you supposed
to be 10,000 feet in the air?
I was flying standby.
That's exactly what I was doing
when the plane took off...
Standing by.
Freddie, why don't you come
home with me for Thanksgiving?
No. I messed up.
I should stay here, by myself,
and suffer the consequences
of my own foolishness
and irresponsibility.
It's too bad, though.
Plenty of good food at my place.
Good company.
You can meet Eric.
Maybe even sit next to him.
I could really check him out
if I sat across from him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Don't over
stuff on the stuffing
and as your driving back Sunday,
remember
there is a curfew.
Colonel Taylor,
what brings you
to our barracks?
I understand Ms. Bostic
has left you
in charge of the dorm.
Yes. From now until Monday,
I am the commanding officer.
I was quite honored
when lettie thrust
the mantle of responsibility
on my shoulders.
How many in your command?
Actually, one.
My roommate, Kimberly.
But she's a freshman
and quite a handful.
If she gets out of line,
you call me.
Yes, sir!
You don't even have
to take me to New York.
Just near New York.
Maine? New Hampshire?
Michigan?
You don't even have to stop.
Just slow down
and I'll jump out.
I've done it before.
Whitley, every bus in
the state of Virginia is booked.
I guess my mama's
out shopping for a new son now.
Kimberly and I would be happy
to have you dine
with us in the pit.
You can carve the Turkey roll.
Why are you here?
I thought you'd be in some place
that ends in "iti."
The juice spa with mama
or rio with daddy
and his miss junior cupcake.
I could hang out with your pops.
You still got your ticket?
Hello, Walter.
Whitley.
Jaleesa,
you're messing up my schedule.
Forget packing.
Just bring the whole closet.
All right, Walter.
We're coming.
We're ready.
I forgot my guitar.
You mind if I
play it in the car?
Why is she playing
a guitar in my car?
I asked her
to come home with me.
Why?
She had nowhere to go.
That is no reason...
The guitar rides on the roof.
No problem.
Fine with me.
Let's go.
Good-bye, Walter.
Say hi
to the statue of Liberty for me.
Get in the car.
Ow, my man!
You open your mouth,
you ride with the guitar.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Gobble, gobble.
Don't put Christina on the phone
she's only six weeks old.
Mom, I'm not lonely.
There's plenty of people here.
Oh, mom, don't start crying.
You know we can't
afford two trips.
Christmas is not that far away.
We're going to have
a great Turkey dinner
down at the pit.
Ma... ma... mom,
calm down.
It's only called the pit.
I love you, too.
You better hustle your bustle.
We don't want to miss
Mr. Gaines's Turkey on a stick.
I'm ready.
You're wearing that?
All right, I'll change.
Thank you.
And how are things
on the home front?
Oh, fine.
They got the walnut
out of chuckie's ear.
Well, he has something
to be thankful for, doesn't he?
They're just sitting
down to dinner now.
In a minute, mom's going
to bring out the Turkey
to the table.
And dad will say,
"look at the legs on that bird.
I'm talking about your mama,
not the Turkey."
Tells that same old
stupid joke every year.
And then mama slaps him
with the potholder.
And everybody...
And everybody...
Kim, now.
We'll have none of that.
Blot, blot, blot.
Don't rub, you'll get
all red and puffy.
Whitley...
Whitley...
£ little Sally waters £
£ sitting in a saucer £
£ rise, Sally, rise £
£ wipe your weeping eyes £
£turn to the east,
then turn to the west... £
there...
That's better.
Never missed Thanksgiving.
I want to go home.
Kim, stop!
What's the big deal
about Thanksgiving, anyway?
Everyone sitting around
trying to choke down
some dried-up old bird.
My mom makes good bird.
Titi sitting at mama's feet,
wagging her tail.
Mama saying, "titi,
breast meat or thigh meat?"
I bet there's no wings
on a Turkey roll.
Mama sitting at one
end of the table
and daddy sitting
way at the other end.
And me, sitting across
from old uncle Percy
wondering if he's
going to wake up
before his head hits the table.
I guess there won't be
any more thanksgivings
like that, will there?
I hate the pit.
We're pitiful.
Pathetic.
Got to get out of here.
This dorm is so depressing.
We got to go someplace.
Leave our blues at the door.
Someplace fun.
You know a fun place?
I know many fun places.
The huckleberry inn.
They have a wonderful
baked Alaska.
I'm not into desserts on fire.
We need a place
where we can party.
Some excitement.
This is our ticket to fun.
An I.D.?
Even better.
A fake I.D.
Ooh, this is pretty.
Look, little Indian corn.
We should have gone to the pit.
At least those people
there are alive.
Just give the place a chance.
It's early yet.
Any minute
a bus full of fun people
will roll through.
Anything's possible.
The music will be starting
any minute.
I bet they play polkas.
This is the worst Thanksgiving
I've ever had.
Kimberly, think positive.
I'm positive... this is the worst
Thanksgiving I've ever had.
Good evening, ladies.
Can I get you something?
Beer, please.
I.D., please.
Here you go.
Naomi Cunningham.
You're 26?
I use a lot of moisturizer.
Too much.
Let me get you something
more interesting
than a couple of beers.
Our Thanksgiving special...
Pilgrim coladas.
Terrific.
I haven't had
one of those in years.
Kimberly
stop making goo-goo eyes
at that salesman.
How do you know he's a salesman?
That suit's got "slashed prices"
written all over it.
We did not come here
trolling for men.
Speak for yourself.
Okay, fine.
I'll sit back and enjoy
the musical styling
of the duarte brothers
while you Bob for idiots.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen
senores y senoras.
Bob and I need to let
our fingers cool down.
You do the same for your feet
and we'll be back in five.
Thanks for the dance.
Thanks I had fun.
Aren't you the little
dancing machine?
Lucky thing you wore
your boogedy-boogedy shoes.
Where's my pilgrim colada?
It took a little trip...
Down the hatch.
Look at that Ramon.
He and I could make
beautiful music together.
I thought we weren't
trolling for men.
Go with the flow, honey.
Gilbert, are you okay?
I'm in rare form.
Ramon.
That's Spanish, isn't it?
It certainly is.
And I do like
the way you say it.
Oh, Ramon.
When Bob returns
I'll be happy to play
anything you like.
Well... andale, Bob.
You know Spanish.
Would you sing along
when we play "la bamba"?
I'm afraid I couldn't.
My espanol is not as bueno
as it seems.
It's bueno enough for me.
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ se necesito
una poca de gracia £
£ poco gracia £
£ una poca de gracia
de mi por ti £
£ arriba arriba £
£ arriba arriba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ la la la bamba £
£ para bailar la bamba £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ para bailar la bamba... £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aah £
£ aaaahhh £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ shake it up, baby £
£ twist and shout £
£ twist and shout £
£ come on, come on,
come on, baby £
£ come on, baby £
£ work it on out £
£ work it on out £
£ listen, little boy £
£ listen, little boy £
£ you know you look so fine £
£ look so fine £
£ come a little closer £
£ come a little closer £
£ show me that you're mine £
£ aah £
oh, my god!
That man's a professor
at my college!
Naomi, you're 25
and still in college?
£ shake it up, baby £
£ we got to go, baby £
£ twist and shout £
we got to go, baby!
£ come on, baby £
over there, baby!
£ work it on out £
over there, baby!
£ ooh, little boy £
£ you know you look so fine £
£ look so fine £
£ come a little closer... £
colonel Taylor, baby!
Everybody, sing!
Good night.
Wait.
You can't leave now, baby.
Yes, I can.
£ shake it up, baby. £
come on, baby.
Hey, come on.
Let her go.
She's done enough shaking
for one night.
Get your own girl.
Take your hands off her.
You all right?
Are you her father?
No, but you behave yourself,
or I'll start acting like yours.
I'm scared now.
Where are your things?
She don't go till I say so.
Behave yourself.
Don't be treating
women like this.
What's wrong with you, boy?
Check, please.
Thank you for driving.
The way my hands are shaking,
I couldn't have held the wheel.
Did we lose the colonel?
I think he knows where we live.
Think of a story
that sounds logical.
Think of something fast!
You think of something.
You're the one that was
twisting and shouting.
Hey!
I have to go to the bathroom.
Not now, you don't.
Colonel Taylor,
allow me to explain.
That wild woman at the lounge
was not really me.
I mean, it was me,
but it wasn't.
What I mean is...
You know the story
of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
I do.
There, too, a perfectly lovely
well-behaved,
even reserved human being
drinks a potion...
Not unlike a pilgrim colada...
And turns into a raving lunatic.
Miss Gilbert...
There was no alcohol
in that drink.
Excuse me?
Pilgrim colada
has no alcohol in it.
It's on the kiddie menu.
You find that funny,
do you, miss Reese...
Or is it miss Cunningham?
Neither one of us
finds it funny, sir.
Mm-hmm.
In case you run into
another identity crisis
I'll just relieve you
of that phony I.D.
Yes, sir.
This is not possible.
There had to be
something in that drink
besides pumpkin mush.
Why else would I act like
a lounge lizardess?
Maybe you were
having a little fun.
No.
That can't be it.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Except for scuffing up
a few tabletops
I didn't see any harm done.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
I've been in the army
for 25 years.
I've spent a lot of time
away from home.
Those holidays...
They're the roughest.
It's easy to lose your decorum
when you're trying
to cheer yourself up.
Well, sir
I bet you never
shimmied in public.
I wouldn't bet money on that.
Colonel Taylor.
Lettie!
You're not due back
until Sunday.
I love my relatives.
They're wonderful people.
I look forward to seeing them
again... next year.
Evening, miss bostic.
Good evening.
I've just been going
from dorm to dorm
making sure everything
is all right.
Everything all right?
Great.
Fine.
All right.
Everything's all right.
Good night, lettie.
Good night.
Good night, ladies.
Good night, sir.
Thank you, sir.
I'm so exhausted.
Me, too.
By the way
I don't believe
one word he said.
But since the building
is still standing
I won't ask any questions...
Till tomorrow.
What a hideous night!
It wasn't hideous.
It was fantastic!
I'm sure you loved
watching your roommate
shake her way into
the fools' hall of fame.
Whitley,
I had a great Thanksgiving.
It's all because of you.
Really?
You had to work hard.
I was determined
to be miserable.
I just did that
so you'd have a good time.
Of course.
Listen.
If I cancel my Christmas plans
can I hang out with you?
I don't think so.
I'll be touring
with Bob and Ramon.
£ la la la bamba £
next year
I'm spending Thanksgiving
at the hospital.
That way,
when my sister's kids go
"can uncle Walter
give us a horsey ride?"
I'll already be in traction.
You know
your friend Eric
ain't half ugly.
He's a tall brother, too.
What is he, about seven foot...
7'3"?
Walter, he was standing
on the porch.
Oh.
So he's about 4'6 "... 4'8"?
I'm just glad you two
had an amorous weekend.
You two did have
an amorous weekend?
I know.
It's none of my business.
Watch the road, please.
I'm watching the road.
I'm just trying
to make conversation.
We could talk about something
altogether different.
Have you seen
the ice capades recently?
Thursday, Eric came over
for Thanksgiving dinner.
On Friday, he took me dancing.
On Saturday,
we went shopping at the mall
and this afternoon, we broke up.
Oh.
That's too bad.
Yeah, that's too bad.
It just wasn't working for me.
Between the distance
and everything
it was just too much.
So you broke it off?
It's never easy
when a relationship ends.
I think I'll be
just fine, Walter.
I'm sure you will.
Did you guys get all of that?
Yeah.
I thought so.