A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 2 - Two Gentlemen of Hillman - full transcript

Those are the facts.

Why is there war?

Sam:
Fall back on
the war issue.

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

Let's try and have a debate,
not recreate the tower of babel.

Continue.

Man is a rational being.

That's that.

So when a fine sister walks by

your reason
makes you hit on her?

Flap, flap, flap.



The decision

to speak to that woman
is rational.

If you were ruled
by your emotions

you'd jump on every woman.

Dwayne does.

Miss pebble.

Doctor Mason

I wouldn't call Hobbes, Plato
and kant a lively bunch.

They're in no position
to assess human nature.

Opinion?

I'm with her.

Kant lived like a monk.

Already his premise is shaky.

His lifestyle is
beside the point.



Perhaps not.

Thank you, Sam.

Sit down, boy.

Do these philosophers speak
only from their own experience?

Can their theories apply
to the average man?

Perhaps Mr. Johnson
can answer that.

May I ponder that?

The answer is not on the ceiling

but in ourselves...

Had we done the reading.

Go back to sleep, man.

Mercifully, our time is up.

Your joint research papers
are due next Monday.

If you don't have a partner,
find one.

And remember

this paper is worth
35% of your grade.

Class dismissed.

Charisse

every time you open your mouth

I see our grade plummet.

Just hush up.

Who died and made you
queen of sheba?

Remember, I got
the word processor.

But I have the words.

Dwayne

you argue the wrong points,
but you do it well.

We could do serious damage
on this paper.

I was thinking of something on

the social contract,
dealing with Rousseau...

It's time we got to work
on our paper.

I was thinking of doing
the paper with Sam.

But you said you were
doing it with me.

Would you excuse us
for a minute?

I'm hurt.

I'm deeply hurt.

Nothing about you is deep.

What about friendship, teamwork,
brotherly bonding?

I'm just concerned about
what happens

when my "a" bonds with your "d."

Okay, fine.

Leave me in the dust.

Diss me altogether.

Sam, I'll have to take
a rain check.

I was just reminded of
a prior commitment.

Good luck with your
silent partner.

As Mark twain said:

"Better to be silent
and just be a fool

than to speak and prove it."

That was Lincoln,
and you said it wrong.

The point is moot.

The point is
we only have five days.

Ronnie?

Noel.

Dwayne:
Wonderful.

Do you have a class now?

Could we grab a bite?

Noel, my schedule is open.

So is the library.

If you have work, I understand.

No, no, no, Noel.

Come with us.

No, no, no, Noel.

Please don't.

Go to the library,
find us a table

check out the books.

I'll be there in half an hour...

45 minutes, tops.

Better make it an hour.

Hi, Dwayne.

Oh, teddie... Frankie.

Freddie.

Freddie...
I knew it was a guy's name.

I'm getting a job today.

That's why i'm
dressed like this.

What do you think?

I think your dressmaker
had a green thumb.

Thank you.

The job's at the pit
in the kitchen.

Well, good luck, Freddie.

Thank you.

I see you've got work to do.

I'm gone.

Hi, jaleesa.

Hi, Freddie.

What time are they
pruning your dress?

Dwayne liked it, too.

Look at him.

Just look at him.

I'd really rather not.

Just watching him think
is inspiring.

I could write a poem about it:

"Ode to
a sensuous scribbler."

"Oh, thou,
Dwayne..."

Oh, thou, Freddie.

Thou wilst be late
for thine job interview.

It's about time.

Sorry I'm late.

But Noel's not.

I am here and my mind is yours.

What topic did we pick?

Rousseau's social contract

as an invitation to
totalitarian government

and the guillotine.

Def!

This is really good.

A spelling mistake.

Shall I just circle it?

If you want it to be
the last thing you do.

Touchy, touchy.

I've been waiting for two hours.

We won't have a research paper.

We'll have a research paragraph.

What are you getting
so hankty for?

It's only philosophy.

You can't use it in life.

Some of us plan
to go to grad school.

Man, you're going to be
an engineer.

When you're planning
your suspension bridge

you'll stop in the middle
and say

"wait a minute.
Is this bridge rational?"

I don't want you
to strain yourself.

Could you do
five minutes of work?

I'm getting the strange feeling

you don't think I'm holding up
my end of this pony.

That's exactly what I think.

You're wrong, mister.

Behold.

Index cards.

Whoa!

We're going to need these.

Start reading.

You have to take notes
on all of this.

I've got it covered.

Okay.

£ I cannot satisfy myself... £

I can't believe this line.

These are the freshmen.

He's interviewed
the upperclassmen.

They get to go first?

It's unfair, unconstitutional.

It won't be when
we're upperclassmen.

I have $15.39 to live on
for three months.

You've got as much of
a chance as anybody.

Don't scuff my floors.

Nobody walks anymore.

Everybody drags.

Drag, drag, drag.

Next!

I said, "next."

Don't just stand there.

Mr. Gaines,
I'm Freddie Brooks.

Are you qualified?

I'm bright and i'm
a national merit scholar.

No experience.

I did have a paper route once

and I helped out a lot at home.

Start peeling.

Here?

It's not a take-home test.

Yes, sir.

You?

Any experience?

I worked at bubble burger
in Columbus, Ohio

all through high school.

I started out as onion girl.

Then I was
bubble burger collator.

Finished?

I think so.

My goodness, girl.

I told you to peel it,
not torture it.

Bubble burger, you got a job.

Be here in the morning

at 7:00.

Wear a hairnet.

I don't want hairs
loose in my kitchen.

Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.

You forgot about me, sir.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Go over to
buildings and grounds.

They're looking for people
to prune trees with saws.

You'll like that.

Biochemistry.

Please, let me give you my bio

because we definitely have
the chemistry.

Oh, do we?

Yes, we do.

You could be
the acid to my base.

And if you want proof

tonight at Alpha house
there's a beach party.

9:30.

Maybe.

Maybe I'll see you there.

Maybe?

Bring all your elements, baby.

Hey, partner.

Ron-o, let's hit the books.

In a few hours

I have a chance for
a little spontaneous combustion.

Let the research begin.

Let the research end.

What are you talking about?

Behold...

Our papel, senor.

Political lamb
in a wolf's world."

My boy, my partner.

You wrote this?

No.

I let my dinero do the writing.

We can hang out, catch a flick

and have time to get into
our nattiest attire

for the beach party.

Ron, you bought this paper?

You catch on fast.

I even spent an extra
five bucks for an "a."

I would have been
satisfied with a "c."

I know you're picky.

We could get expelled for this.

If they caught us.

This paper is vintage...
Ten years old.

Doctor Mason started
teaching here eight years ago.

When Ron Johnson
does his research

he does his research.

Ron Johnson is a buckethead!

I spend my money
so we can hang out

and this is my thanks?

Are we talking about
me and you or you and her?

Ahh.

Jealousy rears its
pointy green head.

Me jealous of you?

Wake up, you're dreaming again.

You have every right to be.

I have a woman,
you have Emmanuel kant.

I could have had a date tonight

if you weren't
my dufus research partner.

And because of your duficity

we have to stay here,
miss the party

and do the work you didn't do.

Do you know how far I drove
to get this paper?

I could have worked with someone
who's actually read a book

not just looked at the pictures.

Is that so?

Instead I get stuck with someone

whose idea of
an intellectual challenge

is spelling his name
in alphabet soup.

Whoa!

This can't be
my best friend talking.

Yes, it is.
Listen up.

What happened to
the Dwayne Wayne

that snuck a dead rat
into my room to dissect

so I wouldn't flunk biology?

You still flunked.

That's not the point.

The point is

when people complained
about the funk

you covered by saying

you were suffering from
athlete's foot.

That was friendship.

That was me covering for you

and it's played out.

If you see the real Dwayne Wayne

tell him his best friend
is looking for him.

Dwayne, take it easy.

What's going on?

Nothing, which is exactly
what's between that boy's ears.

What did he do now?

Ron Johnson doesn't have
a serious bone in his body.

If he does, it's buried beneath

that fat in the back
of his head.

You know you're talking
about your best friend.

Oh, what a prize.

The national poster boy
for irresponsibility.

If there is a short, stupid way

to get from point a
to point b, he's on it.

Isn't that a road that
you two travel together?

Not anymore.

Then just find yourself
a new best friend.

Where am I going to find
somebody who knows me

like Ron does.

He knows me

and I'm complex.

Last year he knew how I felt
about Denise even before I did

and he never told a soul.

It was a well-kept secret.

He's got potential

but somewhere between his mind
and his mouth it gets lost.

All I know is, just now,
you were pretty rough on him.

Rough?

"You don't read, you just
look at the pictures."

I've said worse to him.

But you sounded
like you meant it.

I was just making a point.

All right, I meant it.

I didn't mean all of it, though.

Maybe Ron is tired
of listening to it.

I would be.

You are always
pushing the guy around.

You always get your way.

So I should do things Ron's way,
even if it's stupid?

Do you want
your friend back or not?

Yes.

Yes.

No, mama, I'm not saying
you call too much.

I'm just saying you don't
have to call every day.

Okay, tomorrow I'll call you.

Love you, too.

Bye-bye.

Still job hunting I see.

How's it going?

Are you all right?

What is this big deal
about experience?

They're obsessed with it.

If you can do everything,
you might as well be the boss.

You've only been looking
for two days.

I am never looking again
for as long as I live.

Ever.

You want to know why?

Because I'm unqualified
in every way known to man.

You're being too hard
on yourself.

I got turned down at
the library, the school paper.

Rejection is a part
of job hunting.

The copy center,
buildings and grounds

Mr. Gaines at the pit.

Humiliation is also
part of job hunting.

I've never heard
the word "no" so many times.

It's like there's
this campaign going:

"Just say no to Freddie."

I guess you could
call your parents

and tell them you
want to come home.

I can't do that.

I did that last week.

Do you think I got
the first job I applied for?

Yes.

Okay, I did

because I saw a job
I wanted and went after it.

I became a pest
at bubble burger.

I got to know everybody.

Even gave them suggestions
for their special sauce.

No place I went to
had a special sauce.

You know what I'm talking about.

Kim, I can't go back out there.

Yes, you can.

Maybe without that
flowered dress...

But you can.

Now think.

What job did you want most?

Where did you feel
most comfortable?

Who was most receptive?

Mr. Gaines.

You mind if I join you?

No law against it.

Where's Noel?

Don't know.

Sometimes a man
needs to just be alone.

Just him and his pain.

I've been thinking and I decided

since you shelled out the cash,
we should use the paper.

Besides, I read it
and it's not half bad.

You mean it?

Yeah, I mean it.

I still think
it's stupid and wrong

but the paper's due Monday.

Besides, you're my man.

Yes, I am.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Since we don't have any work,
let's do what you said...

Let's catch that flick
before the beach party.

Then we'll get the deluxe slab
at ray-nay's ribs

like we used to.

Man stuff.

I love it.

We can't have any ribs
on an empty stomach.

You want something?

Yeah, I'll have a large order
of whatever you're having.

Go ahead.

That's my buddy.

Hi, Dwayne.

Hello, ronaldus.

Whitley.

Charisse and I finished
our paper for Dr. Mason

a full two days
before the deadline.

It is profound,
if I do say so myself.

It's even more profound
you didn't kill each other.

The girl is rough hewn

but her lack of grace is
made up for by her intellect.

I am more than confident our
little opus will garner an "a."

I wonder how the cocoa is today?

"Emmanuel kant"?

"Political lamb
in a wolf's world"!

Wait a minute!

After the ribs...

Forget the ribs.

We are barbecued.

What is it?

This.

The dude double-crossed me.

He sold me and whitley
the same paper.

What?!

If we hand this in
we'll get suspended.

You had to go to the
international house of papers.

This is awful.

But we can't panic.

We have to have a plan.

A plan.

I say we...

Write the paper.

What about the beach party?

Are you crazy?

We have work to do.

Where are your notes?

Somewhere.

Well, go somewhere
and find them.

My French fries...

You can get some at the library.

Mr. Gaines?

Don't bother me.

I'm in the everglades.

Please, sir.

Oh, you.

You know I have
high blood pressure.

I'm here about
the dishwashing job.

Oh, my...

I've been doing dishes
after dinner since I was 14.

Now that's a lot
of broken China.

Sir, I've decided
I want this job.

The position has been filled.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Mr. Gaines?

Yes.

I'm going to be a pest
until you hire me.

Isn't that nice?

She's going to be a pest.

I'm going to buy a boat,
take it down to the everglades.

It's easier wrestling with
crocodiles than fighting

with these children.

Lack of sleep really
sensitizes your senses.

This room is vibrant.

Just call me
exhausted incorporated.

I still feel
my title is zippier.

I'm not putting my name

on anything called
"the joy of Plato."

It's a play on
the joy of cooking

which is appropriate,
because Plato is giving us

his recipe for good government.

What?

Excuse me.

What's your title?

A critical study.

What happened to Emmanuel kant?

He died.

1804... look it up.

I'm talking about the paper
whitley had in the pit Friday.

Friday?

We just finished
our paper last night.

Whitley, what gives?

You had a paper
on Emmanuel kant.

Why, ronaldus

I haven't the vaguest idea
what you're talking about.

Do I, Dwayne?

Hey, man, you set me up.

We wrote this for nothing?

You looking for your
old partner, Dwayne Wayne?

He's back.

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