A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 1 - Dr. War Is Hell - full transcript

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Lettie, with all
these freshmen moving in

maybe we should have that
dorm meeting tonight.

That's a good idea.

Freshmen should know
the dorm rules

before they break them.

I know what's bugging you.

Nothing is bugging me.

It's because Denise
isn't coming back.

I'm disappointed that
Denise isn't coming back.

I'm not happy that Jesse
didn't make the ticket.

What bothers me the most



is that you're
following me around saying

"I know what's
bugging you."

I bet you're afraid

you'll end up taking
calculus with Dr. War.

Colonel Taylor's a problem for
those who don't do their work.

I'm afraid that this tie
is coming back in style.

Maybe it hasn't hit you yet.

We're sophomores.

They tried
to break us last year.

The next three years
are fat city.

Last year was a party

compared to what
we're in for now.

You better start taking
yourself more seriously.

Mmm!



Mmm, mmm!

Well, hello, people.

Hello, whitley.

I trust we all
had fruitful summers.

Jaleesa, you look wonderful.

What on earth
did you do to yourself?

Some things never change.

Lettie, has my roommate
arrived yet?

A couple of hours ago.

Freshmen... I love them so.

They're like eager beavers.

I can't believe
what I'm hearing.

Lettie and I have discussed it.

And as lettie so
eloquently put it

the child is
a diamond in the rough

who can be buffed

with the experience
of living with me.

I wasn't that eloquent.

Perhaps not,
but very persuasive.

Maybe some things do change.

The girl won't last
a month in my room.

Whitley:
Just put the bags on my bed.

Which one is your bed?

Whitley:
The one by the window.

Want to bet?

My trip from Richmond
was not a pleasant one.

So please just put the bags...

Hi there.
Hi.

Whitley?
That's me.

I'm Kim Reese, your roommate.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, Kimberly.

These are my friends,
Ronald Johnson and Dwayne Wayne.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Good luck.

Good luck?

What did he mean by that?

He meant good luck
here at hillman, Kimberly.

Please, please, call me Kim.

Kimberly gets on my last nerve.

Well, Kimber... Kim

you certainly have made
yourself at home in my room.

Don't you mean our room?

Of course I meant that.

So you're from Richmond.

My cousin lives
in Lincoln heights.

Do you know it?

I know of it.

But enough about me.

Let's talk about you.

Where you're from.

Why you chose hillman.

Why you chose this bed.

Columbus, Ohio.

Because my brother went here.

And because this bed
is close to the window.

Kim dear

there's probably no way
for you to have known this

but last year, this was my bed.

Sorry.

First come, first served.

I see.

So what do your parents do?

Mom's a bookkeeper,
and dad's a policeman.

A policeman.

Isn't that nice.

I just love hill street blues.

Yeah, me, too.

Right away we got
something in common.

I always thought
Michael Warren was sexy.

If I get in trouble,
I want him to be

my arresting officer.

Kimberly, I want my bed!

What is it with you
and this bed?

Did something important
happen in here?

Certainly not.

It just so happens that this is

a family tradition.

My mother slept on this bed

my mother's mother

my aunt Francine
and my cousin Alicia.

You can have the bed.

Thank you.

I would have
gotten here a lot sooner

but traffic was bumper...

What is that?

It's a chart with all
the muscles and organs.

Well, must we put it up
in our room?

I'm pre-med.

If I'm going to cut them up,
I've got to look at them.

Kim, with all due respect
to your career

I'm not waking up every morning
looking at that man's spleen.

You are if you're
sleeping in that bed.

Jaleesa, I just met him!

Him who?

He's smart.

Looks like a jazz musician.

Progressive, maybe even fusion.

Even his name sounds like music.

Dwayne Wayne.

Ohh.

I was in the lobby, and he says:

"You've got a lot of books.

You could
use some help."

He was half right.

I said, "no thanks."

He looks at my shirt and says:

"Santa fe,
capital of new Mexico."

He knew his state capitals.

That blew me away.

I can see how it would.

What am I saying?

He's probably out of my league.

I bet every girl here
is chasing him.

Yeah, but not for
the reasons that you think.

Freddie, I realize that you
and Dwayne have known each other

for at least ten minutes.

Don't you think you're getting

a little bit carried away?

You're right.

I'm being immature
and impulsive.

No, just totally irrational.

You're not saying these things

because you've got
a thing for Dwayne?

And crazy.

Kim.

Oh, hey, Gilbert.

Is that your
special name for me?

I call everybody
by their last name.

I've been thinking
about our little flap

over your anatomical man.

Perhaps I was hasty
when I ripped it down.

That's all right.

I saved most of his
important parts.

I feel I have
the perfect solution.

We can post him on
the back of the bedroom door.

Under your robe and nightgown.

Least he'll be warm.

I've got an even more
perfect solution.

We leave him naked
and cold on the wall.

But, Kim dear,
that's where he is now.

I know.

Want a fry?

No, thank you.

See you, Gilbert.

My name is whitley.

Kimberly, Kimberly,
Kimberly, Kimberly!

This is so exciting.

I've never been in
a real college hang-out before.

Jaleesa, do I look collegiate?

What?

If you saw me
standing on a street corner

would you say, "there goes
somebody collegiate"?

If you were standing
next to a college.

Come on.

Ronald:
Have you seen
jaleesa's new roommate?

That freshmen is fresh.

She's all right.

All right?

She is fine.

Ronald:
She's looking over here.

I suppose she's looking at you.

It's possible.

It's possible
a herd of buffaloes

could come through that door.

It's time for a little
freshmen orientation.

Watch out for herding buffaloes.

Your tombstone will read
"never had a clue."

Excuse me, the name is Johnson.

Ron Johnson.

And your name?

Brooks.

Freddie Brooks.

Freddie.
That's lovely.

That's my dad's name.

Well, I think we're all safe.

I'm a member of the
freshmen orientation committee.

If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.

Hi, Dwayne.

Hi, Freddie.

I love your glasses.

Thank you.

Are you farsighted
or nearsighted?

Farsighted.

Oh.

Thank you.

Dwayne, over
your right shoulder.

Dr. War.

Freddie:
I don't remember
seeing "Dr. War"

in the course catalogue.

His name is colonel Taylor.

Some people call him Dr. War

people who major in
indoor/outdoor breathing.

Everybody calls him Dr. War,
a.K.A. Student enemy #1...

The man that Dwayne
is not afraid of.

Find another drum to beat.

Calculus is calculus,
no matter who's teaching.

Then walk over
to Dr. War and say

"excuse me, sir, I'd like
to enlist in your class."

I could go over there.

You could?
Yeah.

Then go.

Forward march.

For you, I will.

I'm glad.

I'll watch.

Watch.

Excuse me, colonel Taylor.

Uh-huh?

You teach calculus, right?

I do.

Good.

Um...

I was wondering if
I could... you know...

If I could borrow your ketchup.

What?

Can I borrow your ketchup?

Borrow my ketchup?

Right.

Thanks.

What's up, fellas?

Welcome to mclurkin hall.

My name is Walter oakes.

I'll be your dorm director
and your friend.

If you break any of the rules,
I'll kill you.

I don't mind doing the time.

You make me look bad
in any way, shape or form

I'll kill you.

If I have to put on
a suit and tie

to get any of you out of trouble

I'll be more than happy to.

Then when I get you back here

I'll kill you all.

And there will be no witnesses

because I'll
dispose of the bodies.

Any questions?

Good.

Let's have a great year.

I cleared the room
in 7.6 seconds.

A new record.

Walter, old buddy

old pal, old friend

old chum...

Are you in trouble again?

No, I have a favor to ask.

Will it cost money?

No.

I have to take
calculus 112 this semester.

There are two sections...
One taught by professor combs

the other taught by
colonel Taylor.

Sounds free so far.

You're working registration,
right?

It would be nice

if you could hold me a slot
with professor combs.

I can handle that.

Hey, Walter, you're the man.

I'll need a reason
for requesting professor combs.

A reason?

You'll think of something.

Think again, blood.

Now what's your problem
with this guy?

You don't like
a skinny dude in uniform?

Walter, I'm afraid of this guy.

I've heard the stories.

I know this man's rep.

But that's all it is... a rep.

You have a rep.

People think you're goofy.

Then they realize

you're one of
the best students here.

Last year, you were the man.

Walter, that was last year.

When I was a kid

people said

"Dwayne is so talented.

He should play an instrument."

My mom bought me a clarinet.

I can't play the clarinet.

I sat in the back of the band
and puffed out my cheeks.

Now people are saying

"Dwayne, you're so smart.

You should be an engineer."

I want to be an engineer.

But I just feel like

Dr. War will be the guy
who finds out

that I'm sitting in the back
puffing out my cheeks.

I'll see what I can do.

Walter, I could kiss you.

If you do, I'll kill you.

Ooh, lettie,
what a lovely sculpture.

May I speak to you

while you sculpt?

Of course.

It's about my
roommate, Kimberly.

Is there a problem?

Heavens, no.

She's like the little
sister I never had.

I just have one concern
about the arrangement.

Oh?

I say this with
complete humility.

She worships
the ground I walk on.

I don't think she's ever met
anyone quite like me.

I'm quite certain of that.

I've taken psychology courses.

I've learned that when
a strong, dominant personality

comes in contact with
a weaker, more timid one

the strong personality
will crush the weaker one.

You see that happening?

Most emphatically.

I'll keep an eye
on the situation.

If after a while,
I see a problem

I promise to make a change.

How long of a while?

At least a few months.

I've taken
a few psych courses myself.

It's never a good idea
to make a rushed diagnosis.

But I'm sure you knew that.

Most emphatically.

Evening.

Evening.

I don't know
if you remember me...

Walter oakes.

R.d. Mclurkin hall.

Graduate student.

Work out much?

I try to get in here
about three times a week.

I never see you.

Like I said,
"I try."

I hear you.

Hard to believe.

In less than 12 hours

this old gymnasium will
be filled with bright students

who will do everything
in the world to avoid me.

That's when
they're most creative.

Sir, that's what
I came to talk to you about.

I don't know if
you're familiar with

a student named Dwayne Wayne.

Sophomore, math major.

Wears those funny-looking
flip-down sunglasses.

Drives you crazy.

You are on
your game tonight, sir.

Thank you.

I suppose Mr. Wayne
has offered you his first born

if you can help him avoid me.

He offered to kiss me.

Colonel,
Dwayne is scared of you.

I've never seen him
this afraid before.

That's why you have to make sure
he gets in your class.

Why is that?

Dwyane is smart.

But things come
real easy for him.

When he thinks he might
not do well at something

he's afraid to try.

I figured if he can hold his own

with the baddest teacher
on campus

there's no telling
how far he'll go.

You think he can hold his own?

I know he can.

Consider it done.

Thank you, sir.

So what did you decide on?

I've narrowed it down to
introduction to the novel

modern European history,
afro-American literature

French-eastern philosophy

and statistics.

Freddie, do you plan
to graduate next week?

Maybe it's a bit much.

Uh-huh.

Before I forget,
you got a message.

Eric called.

Thanks.

Who's Eric?

Good night, Freddie.

Good night.

I bet Eric, whoever he is,
isn't sleeping.

He's probably at home alone

looking at your picture.

I met him
where I worked this summer.

Love at first sight?

It was for him.

I thought he was too young.

But after a few weeks,
a couple of lunches

and several tons of flowers

he stopped looking so young
and started looking good.

I bet he was hot, girl.

Details, details!

Go to sleep, Freddie.

Jaleesa?

Yes.

Do you think
Dwayne wants children?

Freddie, whose idea was it

for you to go to school
3,000 miles away from home?

Mostly my mother's.

Uh-huh.

That's what I thought.

Walter, the man of the hour,
man of the year

man of the century.

Dwayne, put the butter away.

You speak those magic words.

Tell me you took care of it.

I did the best I could do.

Because of you, I live, Walter.

Good morning,
good morning, Walter.

Good morning.

Good morning.

How we doing here?

Mr. Wayne,
good morning.

Colonel war...
Dr. Taylor.

I mean colonel...

Mr. Wayne,
may I speak to you?

Actually, sir,
I'm in line for registration.

Save my place for me, would you?

Mr. Wayne, I've been going over
your transcripts from last year.

I must admit, very impressive.

Well, sir, I got
lucky last year.

That's what you believe?

I think it's because
you have an excellent mind

the kind of mind I'd love
to challenge in my classroom.

Well... well...

I'm flattered, sir.

But I believe, um...

Professor combs will be
challenging my mind

this semester.

Is that what you believe?

Let me pose a little
math problem for you.

Train leaves New York 8:00 A.M.

Traveling south
85 miles an hour.

Are you with me?

Yes, sir.

Another train leaves Virginia

traveling north, same track,
10:00 A.M. at 95 miles an hour.

What time and in what place

do these two trains
eventually... collide?

Well, sir

distance equals
rate of speed times time.

If the train from New York

was traveling
85 miles per hour...

Let me get a pen.

I can figure this out.

I'll give you the answer.

8:00 A.M. Monday,
my classroom.

Sir, I believe
they would come together

somewhere around Delaware.

Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Wayne, you are a math major,
and I, Dr. War

am vice-chairman
of the math department.

I calculate there is
a 96% probability

that our two trains
will eventually collide.

Where and when is up to you.

Come on.

Think it over.

Yes?

Calculus 112, please.

Combs or Taylor?

Taylor.

Put it in quick,
before I change my mind.

Well?

Ron, if a train
ever leaves from New York

and one from Virginia,
take a bus.

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