A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 19 - Take This Job and Love It - full transcript

Kim gets Whitley a job at the Pit to help pay for the car she damaged.

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £



£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £

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Ahh!

Take this.

When I'm through with you

you'll need your I.D.
to know who you are.

Now be reasonable, man.

Be reasonable with some of this.

I hope you like living
with one lip.



Hey, hey, hey.

What are you two..?

Fighting never solves anything.

I want my money back.

Ron.

Let me go.

I'm not finished.

He's still breathing.

Chill, mighty mouse.

Look what this fool
did to my hair.

And look at the back.

You said you wanted
something different, Ron.

That's because you're
Jack the clipper.

Left side looks fresh.

Yeah, fresh.

What's your problem?

I never seen nobody
with a landing strip

on their head.

I'm sorry.

Ron, look out!

What?

I thought I heard a 747.

Very funny.

What's the problem?

You wear hats all the time.

So they're loose
for a couple of weeks.

Man, I have r.O.T.C.

It's against army regulations.

Besides, the finest women
on campus are in that class.

Just tell them a sniper
shot off some of your hair.

I hope you got insurance.

Mr. Gaines, it's just
a Fender bender.

The Fender's the only part
of my car that wasn't bent.

The only thing worse
than women drivers

is young women drivers.

This is your fault
for asking me for a ride.

You were the one
putting on lip gloss.

This situation
could have been avoided

if you hadn't screamed

when we entered
that parking lot.

We were headed for a mack truck.

It was parked illegally.

Mr. Gaines, may I have
a moment of your time?

No.

I only want to talk
to your insurance agent.

Is that necessary?

Aside from all the red tape

you'll have to disturb my daddy.

He's a judge and under
a lot of pressure.

You afraid he's going
to take your car away?

Please.

Let's not be hasty.

I have more
than ample resources.

Now just how much
is that damage going to cost?

You're going to need
a new bumper and moldings.

That's $550.

Tail lights, $132.

Bulbs for the tail lights,
$3.5o each.

And paint,
two coats of the good kind

and that's for a total of $947.

Isn't that a little steep?

Now don't make me yell whiplash.

All right.

What was that figure again?

$947.

And I can't wait to retire.

Everybody in Florida's over 65

and they drive nice and slow.

$947?

I wish I could afford a car,
so you could hit it.

Plus, my trunk won't close.

$59.

You broke the neck
on my bobbing dog.

That's what you did.

I am tired of incompetence.

Mr. Gaines took
my check to the bank

and they bounced it.

You didn't have enough money

in your savings
or back-up savings?

My family has been banking
with them for years

and they have the nerve
to call themselves

every customer's fiscal friend.

Their friendship is based
on your having fiscal funds.

I have funds.

I'm just experiencing
a little cash flow problem.

They're looking
for someone in the pit

to fill in for Lorraine Craig.

I can put in
a good word for you.

I beg your pardon?

Wouldn't it be great?

You and me, side by side

scrubbing a big stack
of pots and pans.

I'll get the money
without panhandling.

I've already paid him
$650 in cash.

I just have to come up
with the rest of it

by noon tomorrow.

Dorm meeting at 8:00.

Tonight's topic
is bathroom abuse.

Panty hose, scattered makeup

and who leaves
the toilet seats up?

Jaleesa, stop.

Close your eyes and don't move.

What are you doing?

Open.

What do you say?

How many skunks
gave their lives for this?

Jaleesa, that's a fox fur.

Now won't Walter find you
irresistible in it?

He'd prefer me in a grass skirt
and a coconut bra.

I know.

You don't think you can afford
this extravagance

but you're wrong.

For a limited time only

you can take advantage
of my lease-to-own plan.

Does this have to do with her
going upside Mr. Gaines' car?

Not in the least.

I'm just trying to share
the glory of my furs

with my minkless sisters.

Girl, you must have totaled it.

Do you want the damn thing?

Well, whitley, I think
I will just have to remain

one of your minkless sisters.

Okay, fine.

I'll ask someone with taste.

And you'll look dreadful
in a coconut bra.

I've been told.

Yes, I'll hold.

Daddy, sorry to get you
out of that murder trial.

Yeah.

Since you're on the line...

How's Monica?

No, daddy,
I don't want any money.

Actually, it's my roommate.

Yeah, she had an accident

and the poor thing
has no car insurance.

I told Kim
I would lend her the money.

Right, daddy.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Thanks for calling.

You're lending me money?

How much?

I was talking
about someone else.

So you weren't calling
your dad for the money?

Would you mind
your own business?

Why are your purses out?

Because real leather
has to breath.

There's ten cents
in these real crocodile loafers.

Where?

Mr. Gaines is still looking
for someone.

It pays five dollars an hour.

You tell that penny-pincher
I wouldn't work...

Five dollars?

Plus all you can eat.

Who would have thought that
these finely manicured hands

would be submerged in the murky
depths of a kitchen sink.

Shall I order you a hairnet?

Ron-o, I've been thinking
about your hair problem.

I have the solution.

What's that?

Pretend you did it on purpose.

Give that freaky do a name,
and within a week

there will be
ten brothers sporting

a Ron Johnson
black-and-Decker buzz.

How about I black and deck you?

I'm your boy.

I'm trying to look out for you.

I have come to terms
with my loss.

Is that why you're sitting here
in your pj's

instead of your r.O.T.C.
Army fatigues?

I'm not going to class.

I have a cold.

It's my patriotic duty
not to infect my fellow cadets.

I think you're more worried
about your fellow "cadettinas"

seeing your
"sorry, wrong turn" mohawk.

I said I have a cold.

Brother Johnson,
I am very disappointed in you.

Who would have thought
your whole self-image

would be rooted in your scalp?

So what if one person,
or maybe two people

or maybe the whole campus
laughs in your face?

You got to be bigger
than them, tiger.

That's easy for you to say.

You don't look like a bozo.

Okay, we'll go
to plan "b."

Plan "b" better be a good plan

because that first thing...

Ron, I saw a brother on the bus
today with one of these on

and he was styling.

It's the new look.

Ron, it's a joke.

You're not mad at me?

Come back, fluffy.

Finito.

They're a little small.

People eat too much red meat.

I'm trying to save lives.

If people wanted to eat healthy

they'd go someplace else.

Let's go over
burger assembly line.

Why don't we move the buns
from there to here

and the pickles
from there to here?

Everything will be in order.

Doesn't that make more sense?

It sure would.

Why don't we?

Because we work
for Mr. Gaines.

His motto is

"do it my way
or hit the highway."

Oh, my goodness.

First my car, now my meat.

Look at these

sickly things.

Are you serving them
on toothpicks?

It was an experiment.

Does this look like
a laboratory?

Next they'll be making pizza
you swallow like aspirin.

Maybe I should make the burgers

and you go take the orders.

Out there?

Everyone will see me.

It's either that

or the murky depths
of the kitchen sink.

All right.

I will brave the humiliation.

Two orders
of chicken noodle soup

one herbal tea

and three chef salads
with red onion garni.

Would you like a breath mint
to go with that onion?

I asked for two chocolate shakes

chili fries
and three bacon cheeseburgers.

All that fried food
is why you're so cranky.

I bit into this burger
and it mooed at me.

Whitley, what are
you doing here?

I work here.

Why?

What's the problem?

My burger is a little underdone.

It was done
when it left the grill.

Moo.

I'll get another burger.

What about my order?

Eat that salad.

You need the roughage.

I have a huge take-out order.

Six burgers, four with bacon

and nine fries.

What are you doing?

I cleaned the shelves.

I put everything
as it ought to be.

Oh, my goodness.

Don't do that.

My system will save time.

Even an old grump
like Mr. Gaines

will see that.

Start explaining.

I was looking for something.

Like a new job?

Who told you to mess
with my shelves?

Mr. Gaines,
I cleaned the shelves.

They're so immaculate
you could eat off them.

I thought a progressive-thinking
man like yourself...

You messed with my shelves.

I prefer to say
I brought order to chaos.

I bet you're just
full of bright ideas.

As a matter of fact, I have
had one little inspiration.

Have you ever heard
of vegetarian burgers?

I call them "the UN-burger."

Oh, no. Vegetarians?

I saw one of them
lettuce-eaters on TV once.

Had five hairs in his beard
and played the tambourine.

I don't trust anybody
that don't eat meat.

They are a rather scraggly lot.

But I'm talking about soy meat.

It costs half the price of beef

and you can charge
the same price.

Mm-hmm.

What does mm-hmm mean?

It means call your dad
for the money.

Tomorrow, when you
order that soy meat

I want you to make a sign

so that all the people will know

the UN-burger is here.

Unbelievable.

Keep your eyes on that grill.

That's not cheap soy meat
you're burning.

At army basic camp,
you will find that...

Cadet Johnson!

Yes, sir, sir.

Stop skulking around
and invade a seat.

As I was saying, at basic camp

you will learn how to navigate
in the field

using only a compass
and your field maps.

You'll also find yourselves...

Cadet Johnson.

Yes, sir.

Are you expecting rain?

No, sir.

Then kindly remove
your headgear.

Sir, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Army regulations
say that you can.

Perhaps that hat will come off

while doing
a few hundred pushups.

Oh, this is going to be good.

Colonel, sir.

I was attempting to rescue a cat
from a tree.

I fell, thus hitting my head
on the pavement, sir.

Did you save the cat?

I'm not sure.

They had to rush me to emergency
where I had a blood transfusion.

They gave me stitches
and this bandage.

When exactly did this occur?

Yesterday, sir.

You had a blood
transfusion yesterday

and you're in class today?!

I'm a quick healer, sir.

Cadet Johnson,
remove the bandage.

If there's a bandage
under the bandage

remove that, too.

Silence!

This man has obviously had
a traumatic experience.

Just for that

you have added 30 minutes
to your field maneuvers.

I want all of you
out on the field running laps

until I tell you to stop.

Move it, move it!

Move it!

No, no, not you.

Not you.

Ooooh-weee!

Cadet Johnson,
until your hair grows back

I will accept your cat story.

Bless you, colonel Taylor.

Attention!

About face!

Hup, hup, move it, move it.

Who would have known that

the UN-burger would surpass
the tuna melt in popularity?

I'm happy for you.

Mr. Gaines is not the ogre
you made him out to be.

He just likes competence, spunk.

Whitley, I'm studying.

I need a pedicure.

You have no cash
but need a pedicure.

My dogs are howling.

They wouldn't if you didn't wear
six-inch stilettos.

Just because I'm in
a service-oriented industry

doesn't mean I have to waddle
around in waffle wedgies.

Besides, these bunions
are my badge of honor.

What?!

These last few days
have been a revelation.

The syncopated sizzle
of the burgers on the grill.

The gentle hum
of the shake machine.

The woosh, the crackle
of the deep fat fryer.

Work is so ennobling.

Especially when you've
only done it for two days.

Two wonderful, fulfilling days
that have enlightened me so.

I've learned something that
you've known all your life.

What's that?

Polyester is a very
functional fabric.

Ron:
You know, partner

the last few days
have changed my life.

It doesn't matter
how ridiculous you look

as long as you know
on the inside you're beautiful.

That's great.

I never knew how sympathetic
women could be

towards the wounded.

Noel calls me
"5:00 shadow head."

Lola calls me
her "little stubble top."

And blondine,
she just keeps calling.

Have you seen my glasses?

Last time I looked

they were on
the tip of your nose.

I looked there.

Will you help me find them?

No, grovetta Robinson awaits.

She calls me "fuzzy wuzzy"
'cause I'm her bear.

I had them when I
came out of the shower.

Wear your other pair.

You mean these?

I like the masking tape

and the paper clip.

I look like the science fair
poster boy.

Dwayne, just because
one person... two people...

Just because the entire campus
will laugh in your face.

You should be bigger than that.

I'm disappointed in you.

What are you babbling about?

Does your entire self-image

hinge on your beloved
flip-downs?

I'm not as vain as you.

I just want my glasses.

I believe you found them.

In the meantime

£ she called me fuzzy £

£ she called me wuzzy £

£ and I'm her little bear £

What is that?

I told Mr. Gaines
we needed a suggestion box

and he said that was
my best suggestion yet.

Actually he said, "uh-huh,"
but I know what he meant.

Sugestiones?

Yes, it gives the room
a continental flair.

I know where to put it.

I'll bet.

Mr. Gaines asked me to stay
after my debt's paid.

He did?

Imagine me with a real job.

He said that I have had
more contributions

than anyone else on the staff.

I owe it all to you.

No, you don't.

That's right.

They were my ideas.

And the latest
sure-fire winner is...

£ napkin boats! £

what's a napkin boat?

Voila!

Sail your way
into a lovely weekend.

Isn't that wonderful?

Yes, whitley, it's wonderful.

Just like your soy burgers

and your bunch-o-lunch
express line

and your continental
sugestione box.

They should hang your picture
on the wall:

Employee of the month.

I'm getting the feeling you're
not happy I'm working here.

Are you mad at me?

I'm mad... I'm mad at me.

I wanted to help you out
with your cash flow problem.

I brought you in here
under my wing

and you're flying the plane.

So you're not mad?

I am mad at you

and madder at me
for being mad at you.

I'm totally confused.

I had the same ideas you had.

I knew the pickles
shouldn't be ahead of the buns.

But did I change it?

No.

You should have.

I did.

I'm not like you.

When I punch out,
I'm not getting a pedicure.

Exactly.

I don't know how
you do it all...

Swim team, choir practice,
you're one of the top students

and you're Mr. Gaines'
best employee...

Next to me.

You're right.

I am.

Mr. Gaines
won't fire you

for making one
pequeno sugestione.

No, he won't.

That's the spirit.

I'll show him how smart I am.

Onward and upward.

Tomorrow I'll tell him
about my new idea:

Chili of the month.

Uh-huh.

Chicken chili

liver chili

pork chili, buffalo chili!

Ooh, Kim, please.

Keep that suggestion
to yourself.

My dad brought a buffalo home.

It was great.

Please.