A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 17 - The Thing About Women - full transcript

Walter becomes jealous when Jaleesa's ex husband, Lamar, shows up.

£ I know my parents love me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £


Walter, I'm glad you're here.

We have to talk about Saturday.

You must have been
reading my mind.

This Saturday we are going
to go someplace special.

That's nice, but, Walter...


Check this out.

The Chinese acrobats
are in town.

One week only.

They've got a dude who can
put his feet on his head.

Walter, my ex-husband
is coming into town

and he wants
to take me out Saturday.

This Saturday?

Chinese acrobat Saturday?


I hope you don't mind.

Why should I mind?

Lamar's your ex-husband.

He's part of your ex-life.

You have every right to see him.

So you don't have
a problem if I see him?

Not at all.

If we were serious,
that would be different

but we're not, right?


I'm glad that you understand.

I do, and you would understand

if one of my ex's
came to see me.

What day is this?

Pamela hatcher should be
coming down this month.

You are ridiculous.

Who is Pamela hatcher?

An old friend.

A high fashion model
in New York.

Very nice, but sometimes
a woman can be too pretty.

It's so true.


go away.

Have a good time.

Walter, I'm sorry
about breaking our date.

The Chinese circus
will be back in two years.

I can't promise you the kung fu
bear will still be alive

but nothing
lasts forever, right?

Kim, don't give up on me.

I've got to pass
this anatomy test.

Let's try a memory trick.

This is the head of your hand.

What do you wear on your head?

A cap.

So this is your capitate bone.

It's the bottom of my hand.

Shouldn't it be
the buttitate bone?


We're about to receive
the most unwelcome visitor.

As we speak,
jaleesa's ex-husband

Lamar the lizard, is slithering
here from New Jersey.

Don't you have anything
better to do?

You're like an old lady

who sits in the window

waiting for
an accident to happen.

Aren't we curious about the man

who took jaleesa's
heart through a veg-o-matic

slicing and dicing
each ventricle

until she had nothing left
but heartburger?

Not really.



How about a little one on one?


When my world isn't right,
i, too, turn to sweeping.

My world was fine
until you came in.

Guys don't talk about feelings.

We physicalize.

Quit physicalizing pizza
over the floor.

You're not nervous about
a certain person

coming to campus?

You mean Desmond tutu?

Jaleesa's ex-husband.

Desmond tutu
is jaleesa's ex-husband?

I thought his name was Lamar.

When I have a problem,
I come to you.

So you're here with myproblem?


Only problem is
I have no problem.

From what I hear
you got a big problem.

Lamar's coming
to see your girlfriend...

His ex-wife
that he was married to.

And married folks,
you know, they consummate.

They haven't consummated
in a long time.

A long, long time.

Maybe she isn't interested
in him, but she once was.

I would check out
my competition.

When I want your opinion,
I'll give it to you.

Just go over there.

If he's smooth, be smoother.

If he's sharp, be sharper.

If he's built...

Wear that purple sweater

that hides
your fondness for pie.

Ha ha!


Jaleesa, the fates
are smiling down on you.

I know.

This dress is loose
where I need it

and tight where I want it.

I am not talking
about your dress.

I am talking about
the second chance

destiny is giving you and Lamar.

Isn't that thoughtful of destiny

but I think I will pass.

Don't you see?

You two are meant to be.

You're star-crossed lovers
like Romeo and Juliet.

Freddie, they died.

But they died together.

Just think about all the couples

that have gotten back together.

There's Sean and Madonna.

Bad example.

Peaches and herb.

They're "reunited
and it feels so good."

Unzip this.

Betty and Russell.

What did they sing?

They're my aunt and uncle.

They've been married 23 years

if you count all four times.

Freddie, the only thing
that is happening tonight

is a nice dinner
between friends.

That's what
Betty and Russell said.

Lamar is coming down here.

I agreed to have
dinner with him.

It's the courteous thing to do.

Why have you changed six times?

Because I can be
courteous and fine.

Zip this up.

The one I feel
sorry for is Walter

but he'll get over this.

It's not like you
two were going together.

It's not like
you two were intimate.

Were you?

Zip the dress,
and then zip your lip.

What is this bone?

I know this.

It sounds like
a Swedish actress.

The Ursula.

No, the... the elke?

The ulna.

I don't like this.

I don't understand your problem.

You're a math genius.

Math makes sense.

The integral of the cosecant
squared of x

times the derivative of x

is equal to the negative
cotangent of x plus a constant.

Everybody knows that.

Hello, whitley.


How was the play?

I left early.

I couldn't wait for godot.

You came back to wait for Lamar.

Why are you here?

Is it disco night
at the library?

Okay, I'm interested.

How will jaleesa
keep her food down

sitting across
from that salamander?

You've never met him.

I don't have to meet
a reptile to know one.

Wait till you see jaleesa.

She looks so good.

Lamar, eat your heart out

if you have one.

Whitley, you have
no sense of romance.

Lamar is your classic rogue...

Mysterious, suave,
with a hint of danger.

You think he doesn't care,
but he cares too much.

If he cared

why didn't he work at keeping
their relationship going?

He was too busy

keeping several
relationships going.

It takes
a lot of energy.


I'm looking for jaleesa vinson.

Oh, my lord.

I'm her roommate,
Freddie Brooks.

You must be Lamar.

We've heard wonderful
things about you.

Jaleesa will be down soon.

I'm Kim.

With all of this beauty

you guys better get an iron gate
and a security guard

to keep the guys out.

Oh, Lamar,
you silver-tongued devil, you.

Baby girl.

What have you done to yourself?

I was just thinking
the same thing about you.

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Why are you here?

I promised lettie last month i'd
clean out those rain gutters.

You're cleaning rain gutters
dressed like that?

I'm good at it.

I see we have company.

This is Lamar Collins.

Lamar, this is my friend,
Walter oakes.

Nice to meet you, Lamar.

Jaleesa talks about you
all the time.

I hope she says good things.

You a student?

Graduate student.

Dorm director.

Assistant coach...
Football and track.

Jaleesa never mentioned me?

You know jaleesa.

She has lots of friends.

Oh, baby girl,
that dress is a knockout.

I've never seen
that dress before, baby girl.

I hope you're bringing jaleesa

to a restaurant that's worthy
of that ensemble.

I am taking her
to the mandalay inn.

The mandalay inn?


I hope you're prepared
to wash dishes.

What time is our reservation?


We better get going.

You two kids have a good time.

Good night, everybody.

Be home by curfew,
or I'll have to report you two.

Nice meeting you.


He is fine.

He has this quiet power.

It was screaming at me.

Did you hear him?
Baby girl!

His chest is so big.

He's so sexy.

I love big chests.

I'll take my big fat behind
and get some pie.

Walter, you're
wearing your sweater.

Come here, hold this.

Wait a second...

Ooh, don't hit so hard.

You might break
your capitate bone.

Do I have quiet power?


Yes, brother.


You think I'm fine?

I never thought about you
this way.

Why not?

Why not?

Walter, wait!

Losing the first round

doesn't mean you're
down for the count.

It's my own fault

for taking advice from a child.

You're absolutely right.

I'm a childish child.

A babe.

Out of the mouths
of babes come teeth.

Jaleesa is an intelligent woman.

What makes you think

she wants anything to do
with good looks

and quiet power?


I think I've said enough
for today.

I fold.

I call.

Let's see

what the colonel's
been jumping up
and down about.

Gentlemen, I have been waiting

for a hand like this

all night.

I thank the law of averages
for finally catching up.

Just put your cards
on the table.

All right, then I'll sum it up
with one word.


After all that ruckus,
he calls this a hand?

He called it a hand.

It looks like a finger.

Now this is a hand.


Colonel, you're wearing me out.

Putting all my chips
on the table

just to rake them back in.

It's a wonder
I don't pull a chest muscle.

Here. Maybe a cigar
will silence you.

It usually does.

Made in Cuba?

Oh, no!

I'm not putting my mouth
to no commie smokes.

Hey, fellas.

Hey, you look familiar.

You remember him,
Dr. Abbott.

He looks like the boy that
used to play cards with us

before he got involved.

Leave this man alone.

That's right,
because he is in love.

He's suffered enough abuse.

Why aren't you out
with miss vinson?

Jaleesa's having dinner
with her ex-husband...

In a dress
I've never seen before.

There's no such thing
as "ex-husband".

They'll come from nowhere
and strike at any time.

I have no claims to her.

I'm just her "friend".

She called you that?

She might as well
called you "fido".

Come on, let's deal him in.

All right.

How about some bid whist?

Colonel, now I'm partial
to that watch.

No, no, no.

Bid whist.

A man has to use psychology...

Act like I don't care.

I even told him

"you two have
a good time."

Son, are you getting
enough oxygen?

The man's supposed
to call the shots.

Women like it that way.

Mr. Gaines, women can
think for themselves.

They're probably
smarter than we are.

Where's your wife?

Living in Germany.

Lamar, I cannot get over
what you did to Louise.

The last time
I saw that old buick

she was up on cinder blocks

with weeds growing
in the front seat

and you just kept saying

"baby, please don't tow it.

She's a classic."

Louise isn't the only thing

I've been working on.

Oh, really?

Remember Mr. Thomas?

He's retiring this year.

You know who he wants

to run the delivery service?

That is terrific.

We have three trucks.

So you can afford this.

Of course...

I'll have my hands full...

Running the service

and going back to school.

So it is true.

So you know about this?

You've been asking about me.

No, but people told me.


I figured you were
going back to college

so you could meet women.

That's one thing
I like about you.

You kept me in line.

It was a mighty crooked line.

I'm going to school
because of you.

I saw how well you were doing,
and I knew I could, too.

Can I see some I.D.?

You are not the Lamar
I was married to.

No, I'm not.

Pretty soon, I'll have
everything I ever wanted.

A better education,
maybe my own business

but there's still
one thing missing.


I need some more water.

We've had some good times.

Remember Atlantic city?

We blew all our dinner money
at a casino.

Down to our last quarter

until you won enough money
to get us dinner

and the presidential suite.

You're my good luck charm.

If it wasn't for you

I would have blown that quarter

on cheese sticks.

You know my all-time favorite?

Blizzard of '83.

Temperature, six below.

20 inches of snow.

Frozen pipes.

There was no heat
for three days.

And we kept each other warm.

Yes, we did.

It can be that way
again, baby girl.

Yes, but two days later
the heat came back on

and I came home

and found you in bed
with Sonya Tucker.

I was young, immature.

So was she.

I didn't know
what a commitment was.

Lamar, a lot of time has passed.

I need you, baby girl.

Aren't you still
living with Sonya?

I need a place.

Does she know about this?

Does she know that you
are here with me?

This is going to be hard on her

so I want to be,
you know, gentle.

You haven't told her.

Not in so many words.

So what do you say?

Oh, Lamar...

Oh, baby girl...

I am finally and completely

totally and irreversibly...

Over you.


You haven't had dinner.

No, dear, but I have had enough.

Good luck, Lamar.

Well, look who's here.

It's my friend, jaleesa.

Have a seat.

Hello there.

Walter, I'm glad I found you.

I came to apologize.

For what, buddy?

Can I speak to you
for a moment, please?

I should not have introduced you

to Lamar as my friend.

I should have told him

that you're the guy
that I've been dating.

I'm a guy now.

That's a promotion

from a friend.

Here, it's a peace offering.


The same thing
they bring to the dead.

What is this, Walter?

I said I was sorry.

But you know what?

I'm not surprised.

Lamar plays the same games.

Forever the child.

Grow up, Walter.

Boy, you showed her.

I kept telling those girls

"Lamar is a snake."

I could make him into
eight pairs of shoes

a purse and a checkbook.

Thank goodness Walter's
a decent, good, upstanding man.

I'm making the matching suitcase

out of him.

I'm lost.

Who are we mad at?

We are not mad at anybody.

We are just...

It's coming into focus.

Walter, crazed with jealousy

tailed you to the restaurant

and spent the evening
peering at you

from behind a potted palm.

No, whitley.

He made a complete
jackass of himself

here on campus.

I felt badly about it

so I looked for him
around campus.

Finally found him at the pit.

I even gave that man flowers.

Know what he said?

"Oh, ain't that what you
bring to the dead?"

What men will do
when they're in love.


Just like Bobby Lacey.

We were in kindergarten...


The boy kept pulling my hair

because I wouldn't

take a nap with him on his mat.


Whitley, out.

I need to speak
to jaleesa alone.


Only because you
asked so sweetly.

I need to talk to you.

I need to...

Can I talk?

Thank you.

I am not childish.

I don't like you embarrassing me

and I especially
do not like the way

you introduced me to Lamar
as "your friend."

You are my friend.

What was I supposed to do?

You were supposed
to not go out with Lamar

but go out with me.

I asked you a direct question

and you said that
you did not mind.

And you believed me?!

I said that so you could say

"no, thank you, Lamar.

"I'm already going
with a wonderful

"sensitive, non-childish man

to the Chinese circus."

Why didn't you say that

instead of acting

like action Jackson
and Mickey mouse?

Because when you like somebody

you do dumb things.

So I'm sorry.

Well, I like you, and I'm sorry.


Well, fine.



Now what is that?

This is my black book.

I'm burning it.

You give me so many problems

I don't want to call nobody.

You do not have to do that.

Why didn't you say that earlier?

Where's your black book?

I don't have one.

I haven't been
seeing anybody else.

Well, this is a book,
and it's black

but it's not
a black book, per se.

Walter, it's okay.

So what do we do now?

Well, how late does

the Chinese circus stay open?

Let's go and find out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

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