A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 9 - ClairvoyANT - full transcript
After Principal Skidmore gives every student in school an award for their talent except Cameron, Chyna sets out to help him realize his talent. When she comes up short, Chyna convinces Cameron that he is psychic and now everyone in school is listening to Cameron's predictions and Chyna has to keep making those predictions come true. Meanwhile, Fletcher takes a stand against Principal Skidmore when she replaces the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets in the cafeteria.
Wait. What are these?
Well, the sign said chicken nuggets,
but I wouldn't be surprised.
If there were some
pigeon in there.
No, no, but what happened to the
ones shaped like dinosaurs?
I cannot eat these!
They're boring!
It'd be like eating applesauce
without chopsticks.
Live, from the cafeteria,
It's the 22nd webster
wolf awards!
And now, your host, the lovely,
beautiful, and talented...
Principal Skidmore!
What's going on?
Skidmore gives out these
awards four times a year.
Why? Because she wants to
recognize student achievement?
No, because she has all
these evening gowns.
And no one will ask
her on a date.
♪ ooh, ooh doo, doo
♪ ooh, ooh doo, doo
Whoo!
♪ Everybody's got that thing
♪ something different
we all bring
♪ don't you let 'em
clip your wings
♪ you got it you got it
♪ we're on fire and we blaze
♪ in extraordinary ways
♪ 365 days
♪ we got it we got it
♪ you can dream it
♪ you can be it
♪ if you can feel it
♪ you can believe it
♪ 'cause I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional
♪ yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ ooh, ooh ♪
Whoo!
And for best cheerleader
in a supporting role,
Ha! Yay!
I want to thank all the
other cheerleaders.
For reminding me that
there's no "I" in "team."
Because I used with an "I."
And next up, the wacky for.
Best performance of
"happy birthday"
Sung to me on my
birthday goes to...
Chyna parks!
Thank you!
It's an incredible honor
to receive this award,
Especially given how many years.
"Principal Skidmore sung to her.
Py birthday"
What is it, like 75? No.
80? Sit down!
Wow. Everybody except you.Y.
Even the lunch lady.
The show's not over yet.
And the last award of the day.
Honors someone
waiting patiently.
For the recognition
they so richly deserve.
Oh, here we go.
And the wacky goes to...
Me! Best award show host!
Thank you! Wait, what?
Hey, Cameron. I got
you something.
It's a trophy for best zinger.
Best zinger? Yeah.
You know how you zing
me all the time?
Like the other day I said,
"nice pimple, Cameron. Looks like
your forehead has an on-off button."
And then you said,
"that's what you think."
Zinger! In my face!
This says "best singer,"
And the "s" is changed
to a "z" with a marker.
Pathetic. Bam! Another zinger!
You are on fire!
Oh, hey, mom.
Ow!
Ow!
Sorry, I forgot I was
still in my costume.
How was the party? Terrible.
In space, no one can
hear you scream,
But at a four-year-old's birthday
party, that's all you can hear.
Plus, I got frosting
on my space pants.
Do you know how much it costs
to dry clean this thing?
Um, 35 bucks? 35 bucks!
Hey, what are all
these trophies for?
Nothing. We had an assembly at
school and they gave out awards.
It was stupid.
And you won all of these?
Aw, that's my girl!
Cameron, baby, did
you win anything?
No. Everybody got
a trophy but me.
Even that kid who's done
10th grade five times.
Best moustache.
Stupid Melissa.
Cameron would have
won something, but.
They didn't have any categories
that played to his strengths.
Right, Cameron? Right.
Wait, what strengths?
Principal Skidmore,
can I talk to you?
Not now. I have an important
schooloard meeting to prepare for.
I'm thinking of
entering on a horse.
Sorry, but this is urgent.
A terrible injustice
has taken place.
Someone has replaced the dinosaur
nuggets in the cafeteria.
With... With these!
Oh, that was me.
These cost five
cents less per ton.
Over the school year,
we can save five cents.
But dinosaur nuggets are
a paleontology lesson.
Wrapped up in a bite-sized
morsel of breaded goodness!
What are these?
Food.
More or less.
Look, you're the
only one who cares,
And it's not my job to
make one student happy.
My job is to make all
students unhappy.
But I'm not the
only one who cares.
In fact, I'll get every kid
in school to sign a petition!
Long live the dinosaur nuggets!
See? Everyone agrees with me.
No, I just bought a
new applause sign.
Okay, Cameron.
Everyone has a special talent
and we're going to find yours.
By going through this
list alphabetically.
First up, aardvark whispering.
You think my talent is
training aardvarks?
Well, let's find out.
That's not an aardvark.
That's an anteater!
And do you know
what anteaters eat?
Ants!
It's right in the name!
Cameron, give it a shot.
Okay, boy. Roll over.
Play dead.
I stink at this.
What's next on the list?
Okay, so it's not
greco-roman wrestling.
Next up, gymnastics. Can
you do a cartwheel?
Sure.
Cameron, are you okay?
Kind of.
Too bad we already
eliminated ballet,
Because he does look
good in a tutu.
I guess we can rule out origami.
I'm not good at anything.
I don't know why you
bothered to try, chyna.
I knew this wasn't going to
work before we even started.
Hey!
Maybe that's your special gift.
What is?
You said you knew this
wasn't going to work.
Maybe you're psychic!
Huh. Maybe I am.
Let's check it out. What
number am I thinking of?
Triangle? Right!
Unbelievable!
"triangle" isn't even a number.
That's what makes
it so unbelievable!
Sorry, but there is no such
thing as psychic ability.
I saw an article in the american
psychology journal, issue 121...
I bet you knew olive was going to say
something really boring, didn't you?
I did, now that you mention it.
Wow.
Now, close your eyes.
And see if you can
predict the next ant.
That's gonna walk into the room.
Um... You.
Keeping in mind that
I'm already here.
And so is olive.
And the only other ant
you know the name of.
Is Fletcher.
Is it... Olive?
Just go with it.
Yes!
Unbelievable!
Well, Cameron's happy.
He thinks he's psychic,
but he's happy.
It's kind of ironic that
someone with no future.
Thinks he can
predict the future.
Hey, paisley. Did you
hear the incredible news?
I'm psychic!
Oh, I've known that for years.
But I think it's
pronounced "psycho."
No, I can tell what's going
to happen before it does.
In fact, I'm getting
a vision right now.
I see...
Angus.
I see him too!
Maybe I'm psycho!
No, I see him in the future.
He's hurt. Sometime in
the next two hours,
He's going to be in a
terrible accident!
Now what? Cameron's gonna
realize he's not psychic.
We cannot let that happen.
He'll be even more depressed
than he was before.
There's only one thing to do.
- Tell Cameron the truth?
- No.
Make sure Angus has an accident.
How? Put his hand in warm water?
Not that kind of accident.
Okay, here comes Angus.
Hey, olive. I just
sent you a text.
No, I will not marry you.
Whoa!
I almost slipped on
these banana peels.
What banana peels? Go on.
Did you put those there?
No, of course not.
Then there must be wild
apes loose in the school.
Run for your lives!
Wow! You really can
predict the future.
Can somebody help me?
I'm getting another vision...
No one's going to help you.
You are so cool!
Everyone! You have
to check this out!
Cameron is a cyclops!
Predict something else!
Okay.
Tomorrow morning
at exactly 9:45,
All the power in the
school will go out.
What?
It's 9:45.
Why hasn't the power gone out?
I'll try turning them to high.
This isn't high?
Hey, Fletcher. How's your
dinosaur nugget petition going?
I've only gotten two signatures.
Me and some kid named
"buzz off loser."
Angus! Were you hurt that badly?
I'm fine. Just lazy.
So, Angus, will you
sign my petition?
I already did.
I'm buzz off loser.
How about you, olive? No way.
I'm not some upstart, radical
hippie, you agitator!
I love it when she talks crazy.
Well, I don't need you guys. There's
a school board meeting tonight.
I'm going to take my
message to the masses.
You got another signature.
"Megan amessinmypants."
I didn't know miss amessinmypants'
first name was Megan.
Wow, thanks to us, Cameron
is actually popular.
No psychic in the world could
have seen that coming.
I have a vision.
By the end of the day,
Paisley and her boyfriend
Keith are going to break up!
Great. Now what?
No problem.
We just have to find someone to flirt
with Keith in front of paisley.
And make her so jealous
that she dumps him.
We need someone beautiful,
vivacious, irresistible.
I get it. I'm your girl.
You're going to
flirt with Keith?
Well, not dressed like this.
Why are you dressed
as a superhero?
Men are attracted to powerful
women, so it was either this.
Or dress up like supreme court
justice sonia sotomayor.
Okay. Look.
There's paisley's boyfriend.
Just stick to the script.
Hey there, big boy.
Why don't I take you somewhere
you've never been before?
Like the school
library, I'm guessing?
Hey! Stay away from my woman!
Keith!
I can't believe you hit this poor
ant's wheelchair with your body!
You are so mean.
We're through.
Wow. Sometimes the power of my
raw magnetism frightens me.
Wow, another
impressive prediction.
That's 17 today.
You must be pretty happy.
Are those tears of Joy, I hope?
What's the matter? You
have an amazing gift.
And paisley's available now.
Well, it turns out my
power isn't just a gift.
It's also a curse.
I just had an awful vision.
Skidmore in a bikini?
Much worse.
Tomorrow morning, an asteroid
will strike the earth,
Ending all life as we know it.
That's bad, but it's not worse
than Skidmore in a bikini.
Of all the things to predict,
Cameron had to go with
the end of the world?
He's even untalented
at having fake talent.
Do we really have to end the world
just to keep your brother happy?
Can't we just tell him the truth
and get him an ice cream?
Don't worry. We're not
going to do anything.
Tomorrow, he'll realize
he's not psychic.
And this whole thing
will be over.
Unless...
No, olive, he's not
actually psychic,
And an asteroid is not gonna
destroy the planet tomorrow.
Okay. But if it does,
That'd be a huge burn on us.
Why is everyone focusing
on the money I spent.
For the horse I rode in on?
Let's focus on all
the money I saved.
By replacing the school nurse
with this first aid Kit.
I can't believe we came
here to support Fletcher.
And he didn't even show up.
Oh, this was totally
worth the wait.
65 million years ago,
Dinosaurs became extinct.
Five days ago,
Dinosaur nuggets became extinct,
Eliminating the last evidence of
the great reptiles' existence.
What about museums?
Okay, the last
meaningful evidence.
Does anybody have anything
intelligent to say?
I do!
My name is Cameron parks,
And I can predict the future!
Oh, no.
Citizens of the world!
Tomorrow morning,
at half past noon,
An asteroid will
strike the earth.
And the world will end in
a flaming ball of fire!
Ka-blammo!
I am your only hope
to save the planet!
I volunteer to be
launched into space.
To redirect the asteroid.
From its path of destruction.
Cameron,
I have to tell you something.
Not now! I'm saving
the human race!
I'll be your space cadet!
Blast me off!
I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go!
This is my sister.
She probably just wants to hug me
and wish me luck on my mission.
Yeah, not exactly.
Uh, never mind.
I'd like to turn the floor
back over to the dinosaur.
Chyna!
You gotta check out this video.
It's the greatest thing ever!
If it's the security footage of
the day you forgot to wear pants,
I've seen it, and once
was more than enough.
It's not that. It's your brother
from last night, acting all crazy.
Cameron's coming!
Do not play this on your a.
N.T. Pad. Okay.
Hey, chyna. I've been thinking,
And I wanted to thank you for
trying to make me feel better.
You're a good sister.
Well, I'm sorry it was
kind of embarrassing.
It was no big deal. It was
a school board meeting.
Only a handful of people saw it.
♪ Citizens of the world
♪ tomorrow morning...
What are you doing?
You said not to play it on my a.
N.T. Pad.
♪ An asteroid will
strike the earth, earth
♪ and the world will end
in a flaming ball of fire
♪ ka-blammo k-k-ka-blammo
♪ I'll be your space
cadet blast me off
♪ I'll be your space
cadet blast me off
♪ I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go
♪ I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go
♪ ka-blammo ♪
How many hits has this gotten?
Uh...
Only eight million.
Awesome!
I found my talent! Being famous!
Play it again!
And the wacky for the best
animal costume goes to...
Artie the anteater!
And our last award.
Is for the most popular
Web video by a student.
And the wacky goes to...
Here we go.
Angus Chestnut for
angus has no pants.
What?
I prepared this speech.
Now... we're together... that...
Oh... Again?
Well, the sign said chicken nuggets,
but I wouldn't be surprised.
If there were some
pigeon in there.
No, no, but what happened to the
ones shaped like dinosaurs?
I cannot eat these!
They're boring!
It'd be like eating applesauce
without chopsticks.
Live, from the cafeteria,
It's the 22nd webster
wolf awards!
And now, your host, the lovely,
beautiful, and talented...
Principal Skidmore!
What's going on?
Skidmore gives out these
awards four times a year.
Why? Because she wants to
recognize student achievement?
No, because she has all
these evening gowns.
And no one will ask
her on a date.
♪ ooh, ooh doo, doo
♪ ooh, ooh doo, doo
Whoo!
♪ Everybody's got that thing
♪ something different
we all bring
♪ don't you let 'em
clip your wings
♪ you got it you got it
♪ we're on fire and we blaze
♪ in extraordinary ways
♪ 365 days
♪ we got it we got it
♪ you can dream it
♪ you can be it
♪ if you can feel it
♪ you can believe it
♪ 'cause I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional
♪ yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ ooh, ooh ♪
Whoo!
And for best cheerleader
in a supporting role,
Ha! Yay!
I want to thank all the
other cheerleaders.
For reminding me that
there's no "I" in "team."
Because I used with an "I."
And next up, the wacky for.
Best performance of
"happy birthday"
Sung to me on my
birthday goes to...
Chyna parks!
Thank you!
It's an incredible honor
to receive this award,
Especially given how many years.
"Principal Skidmore sung to her.
Py birthday"
What is it, like 75? No.
80? Sit down!
Wow. Everybody except you.Y.
Even the lunch lady.
The show's not over yet.
And the last award of the day.
Honors someone
waiting patiently.
For the recognition
they so richly deserve.
Oh, here we go.
And the wacky goes to...
Me! Best award show host!
Thank you! Wait, what?
Hey, Cameron. I got
you something.
It's a trophy for best zinger.
Best zinger? Yeah.
You know how you zing
me all the time?
Like the other day I said,
"nice pimple, Cameron. Looks like
your forehead has an on-off button."
And then you said,
"that's what you think."
Zinger! In my face!
This says "best singer,"
And the "s" is changed
to a "z" with a marker.
Pathetic. Bam! Another zinger!
You are on fire!
Oh, hey, mom.
Ow!
Ow!
Sorry, I forgot I was
still in my costume.
How was the party? Terrible.
In space, no one can
hear you scream,
But at a four-year-old's birthday
party, that's all you can hear.
Plus, I got frosting
on my space pants.
Do you know how much it costs
to dry clean this thing?
Um, 35 bucks? 35 bucks!
Hey, what are all
these trophies for?
Nothing. We had an assembly at
school and they gave out awards.
It was stupid.
And you won all of these?
Aw, that's my girl!
Cameron, baby, did
you win anything?
No. Everybody got
a trophy but me.
Even that kid who's done
10th grade five times.
Best moustache.
Stupid Melissa.
Cameron would have
won something, but.
They didn't have any categories
that played to his strengths.
Right, Cameron? Right.
Wait, what strengths?
Principal Skidmore,
can I talk to you?
Not now. I have an important
schooloard meeting to prepare for.
I'm thinking of
entering on a horse.
Sorry, but this is urgent.
A terrible injustice
has taken place.
Someone has replaced the dinosaur
nuggets in the cafeteria.
With... With these!
Oh, that was me.
These cost five
cents less per ton.
Over the school year,
we can save five cents.
But dinosaur nuggets are
a paleontology lesson.
Wrapped up in a bite-sized
morsel of breaded goodness!
What are these?
Food.
More or less.
Look, you're the
only one who cares,
And it's not my job to
make one student happy.
My job is to make all
students unhappy.
But I'm not the
only one who cares.
In fact, I'll get every kid
in school to sign a petition!
Long live the dinosaur nuggets!
See? Everyone agrees with me.
No, I just bought a
new applause sign.
Okay, Cameron.
Everyone has a special talent
and we're going to find yours.
By going through this
list alphabetically.
First up, aardvark whispering.
You think my talent is
training aardvarks?
Well, let's find out.
That's not an aardvark.
That's an anteater!
And do you know
what anteaters eat?
Ants!
It's right in the name!
Cameron, give it a shot.
Okay, boy. Roll over.
Play dead.
I stink at this.
What's next on the list?
Okay, so it's not
greco-roman wrestling.
Next up, gymnastics. Can
you do a cartwheel?
Sure.
Cameron, are you okay?
Kind of.
Too bad we already
eliminated ballet,
Because he does look
good in a tutu.
I guess we can rule out origami.
I'm not good at anything.
I don't know why you
bothered to try, chyna.
I knew this wasn't going to
work before we even started.
Hey!
Maybe that's your special gift.
What is?
You said you knew this
wasn't going to work.
Maybe you're psychic!
Huh. Maybe I am.
Let's check it out. What
number am I thinking of?
Triangle? Right!
Unbelievable!
"triangle" isn't even a number.
That's what makes
it so unbelievable!
Sorry, but there is no such
thing as psychic ability.
I saw an article in the american
psychology journal, issue 121...
I bet you knew olive was going to say
something really boring, didn't you?
I did, now that you mention it.
Wow.
Now, close your eyes.
And see if you can
predict the next ant.
That's gonna walk into the room.
Um... You.
Keeping in mind that
I'm already here.
And so is olive.
And the only other ant
you know the name of.
Is Fletcher.
Is it... Olive?
Just go with it.
Yes!
Unbelievable!
Well, Cameron's happy.
He thinks he's psychic,
but he's happy.
It's kind of ironic that
someone with no future.
Thinks he can
predict the future.
Hey, paisley. Did you
hear the incredible news?
I'm psychic!
Oh, I've known that for years.
But I think it's
pronounced "psycho."
No, I can tell what's going
to happen before it does.
In fact, I'm getting
a vision right now.
I see...
Angus.
I see him too!
Maybe I'm psycho!
No, I see him in the future.
He's hurt. Sometime in
the next two hours,
He's going to be in a
terrible accident!
Now what? Cameron's gonna
realize he's not psychic.
We cannot let that happen.
He'll be even more depressed
than he was before.
There's only one thing to do.
- Tell Cameron the truth?
- No.
Make sure Angus has an accident.
How? Put his hand in warm water?
Not that kind of accident.
Okay, here comes Angus.
Hey, olive. I just
sent you a text.
No, I will not marry you.
Whoa!
I almost slipped on
these banana peels.
What banana peels? Go on.
Did you put those there?
No, of course not.
Then there must be wild
apes loose in the school.
Run for your lives!
Wow! You really can
predict the future.
Can somebody help me?
I'm getting another vision...
No one's going to help you.
You are so cool!
Everyone! You have
to check this out!
Cameron is a cyclops!
Predict something else!
Okay.
Tomorrow morning
at exactly 9:45,
All the power in the
school will go out.
What?
It's 9:45.
Why hasn't the power gone out?
I'll try turning them to high.
This isn't high?
Hey, Fletcher. How's your
dinosaur nugget petition going?
I've only gotten two signatures.
Me and some kid named
"buzz off loser."
Angus! Were you hurt that badly?
I'm fine. Just lazy.
So, Angus, will you
sign my petition?
I already did.
I'm buzz off loser.
How about you, olive? No way.
I'm not some upstart, radical
hippie, you agitator!
I love it when she talks crazy.
Well, I don't need you guys. There's
a school board meeting tonight.
I'm going to take my
message to the masses.
You got another signature.
"Megan amessinmypants."
I didn't know miss amessinmypants'
first name was Megan.
Wow, thanks to us, Cameron
is actually popular.
No psychic in the world could
have seen that coming.
I have a vision.
By the end of the day,
Paisley and her boyfriend
Keith are going to break up!
Great. Now what?
No problem.
We just have to find someone to flirt
with Keith in front of paisley.
And make her so jealous
that she dumps him.
We need someone beautiful,
vivacious, irresistible.
I get it. I'm your girl.
You're going to
flirt with Keith?
Well, not dressed like this.
Why are you dressed
as a superhero?
Men are attracted to powerful
women, so it was either this.
Or dress up like supreme court
justice sonia sotomayor.
Okay. Look.
There's paisley's boyfriend.
Just stick to the script.
Hey there, big boy.
Why don't I take you somewhere
you've never been before?
Like the school
library, I'm guessing?
Hey! Stay away from my woman!
Keith!
I can't believe you hit this poor
ant's wheelchair with your body!
You are so mean.
We're through.
Wow. Sometimes the power of my
raw magnetism frightens me.
Wow, another
impressive prediction.
That's 17 today.
You must be pretty happy.
Are those tears of Joy, I hope?
What's the matter? You
have an amazing gift.
And paisley's available now.
Well, it turns out my
power isn't just a gift.
It's also a curse.
I just had an awful vision.
Skidmore in a bikini?
Much worse.
Tomorrow morning, an asteroid
will strike the earth,
Ending all life as we know it.
That's bad, but it's not worse
than Skidmore in a bikini.
Of all the things to predict,
Cameron had to go with
the end of the world?
He's even untalented
at having fake talent.
Do we really have to end the world
just to keep your brother happy?
Can't we just tell him the truth
and get him an ice cream?
Don't worry. We're not
going to do anything.
Tomorrow, he'll realize
he's not psychic.
And this whole thing
will be over.
Unless...
No, olive, he's not
actually psychic,
And an asteroid is not gonna
destroy the planet tomorrow.
Okay. But if it does,
That'd be a huge burn on us.
Why is everyone focusing
on the money I spent.
For the horse I rode in on?
Let's focus on all
the money I saved.
By replacing the school nurse
with this first aid Kit.
I can't believe we came
here to support Fletcher.
And he didn't even show up.
Oh, this was totally
worth the wait.
65 million years ago,
Dinosaurs became extinct.
Five days ago,
Dinosaur nuggets became extinct,
Eliminating the last evidence of
the great reptiles' existence.
What about museums?
Okay, the last
meaningful evidence.
Does anybody have anything
intelligent to say?
I do!
My name is Cameron parks,
And I can predict the future!
Oh, no.
Citizens of the world!
Tomorrow morning,
at half past noon,
An asteroid will
strike the earth.
And the world will end in
a flaming ball of fire!
Ka-blammo!
I am your only hope
to save the planet!
I volunteer to be
launched into space.
To redirect the asteroid.
From its path of destruction.
Cameron,
I have to tell you something.
Not now! I'm saving
the human race!
I'll be your space cadet!
Blast me off!
I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go!
This is my sister.
She probably just wants to hug me
and wish me luck on my mission.
Yeah, not exactly.
Uh, never mind.
I'd like to turn the floor
back over to the dinosaur.
Chyna!
You gotta check out this video.
It's the greatest thing ever!
If it's the security footage of
the day you forgot to wear pants,
I've seen it, and once
was more than enough.
It's not that. It's your brother
from last night, acting all crazy.
Cameron's coming!
Do not play this on your a.
N.T. Pad. Okay.
Hey, chyna. I've been thinking,
And I wanted to thank you for
trying to make me feel better.
You're a good sister.
Well, I'm sorry it was
kind of embarrassing.
It was no big deal. It was
a school board meeting.
Only a handful of people saw it.
♪ Citizens of the world
♪ tomorrow morning...
What are you doing?
You said not to play it on my a.
N.T. Pad.
♪ An asteroid will
strike the earth, earth
♪ and the world will end
in a flaming ball of fire
♪ ka-blammo k-k-ka-blammo
♪ I'll be your space
cadet blast me off
♪ I'll be your space
cadet blast me off
♪ I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go
♪ I'm wearing a diaper
and I'm ready to go
♪ ka-blammo ♪
How many hits has this gotten?
Uh...
Only eight million.
Awesome!
I found my talent! Being famous!
Play it again!
And the wacky for the best
animal costume goes to...
Artie the anteater!
And our last award.
Is for the most popular
Web video by a student.
And the wacky goes to...
Here we go.
Angus Chestnut for
angus has no pants.
What?
I prepared this speech.
Now... we're together... that...
Oh... Again?