A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 25 - Body of EvidANTs - full transcript

Olive is shocked to discovered her pet robot is no longer functioning and has suspicious screwdriver scratch on the marks on its back.When a screwdriver is found in Chyna's locker, Chyna suspect she has been framed and vows to find the real culprit.

Chyna, up for a game
of tic-tac-toes?

Gibson, I think it's
called tic-tac-toe.

I don't think so.

Your turn.

I give up. You win.

Yes! I always win
on the first move!

Good morning!

Olive, you're not allowed to
bring pets into the Ant Farm.

Remember when Gibson
brought his cat in?

That's just how tigers
show affection.

By mauling children.



Well, don't worry. My pet
is perfectly harmless.

He's a Flurbot.

Hello!

He's been my loyal companion
since I was three.

His name is Soren
Aabye Kierkegaard,

but that's kind of a mouthful,
so I call him by his nickname,

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

Ooh, catchy.

Much better than my
nickname when I was a kid.

"Gibson."

Kids can be so cruel.

Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!
Feed me!

When he's hungry, he won't
stop saying, "Feed me,"

until you feed him.



Hey, we have one of these
virtual pets at home.

We use it to open cans.

I think you're talking
about your can opener.

You know, I think you're right.

HEGE Stupid!

Who you calling stupid?

Fletcher! Fletcher stupid!

Why would he know
how to say that?

Uh, he might have
overheard it at home.

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing

♪ Something different
we all bring

♪ We're on fire and we blaze

♪ In extraordinary ways

♪ 365 days

♪ We got it We got it

♪ You can dream it

♪ You can be it

♪ If you can feel it

♪ You can believe it

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptional

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptional

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh

Whoo!

Peace, hepcat.

How do I look?

Groovy!

Groovy means crazy, right?

Wait, I need your help.

This afternoon I'm
meeting Dakota,

the daughter of my boyfriend,

dashing city councilman
Ted Taggart,

and I want her to think
I'm out of sight.

You might want to
get out of sight

because I think you're
scaring people.

Look, you're the most
popular girl in school

and I need you to
give me cool lessons.

Why would I do that?

Because if you don't,

I'll stand here
keep looking at me.

Okay, okay, fine! I'll do it!

Gibson, what are you doing?

Oh, I played Hegel in a game of
tic-tac-toes and I lost my shirt.

I think he cheats.

Hey, can one of you
guys get my back?

Where's my cute little boy?

I'm right here!

I was talking to Hegel.

Oh.

Who wants some belly rubbing?

I do!

Oh, him again.

That's odd.

Usually Hegel wakes right up
when I mention belly rubbing.

Hegel? Hegel?

He won't wake up!

And I just put fresh
batteries in!

Look out! Let me try
mouth-to-mouth!

Every second counts!

But first.

There is nothing dying people
hate more than chapped lips.

Gibson. He has no mouth.

Oh, just like my uncle Mmm-mmm.

Don't you quit on me!

Sorry, Olive, but I
think Hegel's gone.

No, he's not. He's right there!

He's dead, but he's right there.

No!

It should have been me.

He had so much life to live.

He was struck down in his prime!

You shouldn't be alone tonight.

Hey, this service is depressing.

Let's put the fun back in funeral!
Chyna?

This is a funeral!
Show some respect!

I just want to hold
Hegel one last time.

Hold on.

Look at his bottom.

There are scratch marks from a
1/8" Phillips head screwdriver.

Hegel didn't die
of natural causes.

He was murdered!

Why would anyone do that?

Stupid!

Who are you calling stupid?

I think he cheats!

Oh, him again!

What are you looking at me for?

It wasn't me! I didn't do it!

The murderer always says,

"It wasn't me! I didn't do it!"

Except in the rare case when they
say, "It was me! I did do it!"

Or in the even rarer case when they
say, "It wasn't me, but I did do it!"

Olive, that's the grief talking.

Grief means crazy, right?

I loved Hegel.

And I'm going to find out which one
of you is responsible for his death.

As soon as I find
that screwdriver.

Screwdriver?

Looks like this case

just got a little twisted.

Screwdriver? Twisted?

Nobody gets it? No?

Thanks for volunteering to help me
after I only threatened you once.

Usually, it takes
two or three times

and some sort of message,
like a finger in a box.

No problem. It's my pleasure
to help you become more cool.

So, um, should we start
with my clothes?

No, that's perfect.

Ill-fitting tangerine polyester
pantsuits are very in right now.

Then why don't you wear them?

Because

my mean parents won't
buy them for me.

They make me wear these ugly
expensive designer clothes instead.

They are ugly.

Okay, next you're going to
learn the cool new slang.

Check this out.

Disgusting haircut, you
creepy little elf!

He looks puzzled because I
don't usually compliment him.

That was a compliment?

Yeah. All the cool slang means the
opposite of what it sounds like it means.

You know, how "sick"
means "awesome."

I'm sure you've heard
it all over school.

No, I don't like you kids,

and I work very hard
on tuning you all out.

Here's Gibson. Pay
him a compliment.

Hey, donkey face.

Wow, are you an idiot!

Does crying mean laughing?

You're catching on!

Hey, what are you doing?

Looking for the murder weapon.

I'm conducting a search
of all your lockers.

Luckily, I know
your combinations.

Slow down. Got a warrant?

No, but he does.

This whole school
is a crime scene.

Wait.

This says, "Caution.
Party zone."

Shouldn't it say, "Police line.
Do not cross"?

That's why nobody came to
Cameron's birthday party.

That's not why no one came.

And Dad, don't you have
anything better to do

than investigate the
death of a Flurbot?

Nope. The police force
solved every crime.

But on the bright side,

the police sketch artist has
more time to do caricatures.

Search all you want.

You're not going
to find anything.

What the heck?

It's a rotisserie spit.

You cannot get properly
cooked shawarma in this town.

Oh, okay. Move along.
Nothing to see here.

Nothing to see here?

Angus has a Middle Eastern
restaurant in his locker!

Got to go.

The guys at the station are giving
the police dog a lie detector test.

Maybe the chief will
finally believe

I'm not the one
that ate his shoes.

Okay. Look, Olive,

I know that you're grief-stricken
over the loss of your

$4 toy,

but there is no evidence here
that anyone killed Hegel.

A Flurbot manual?

A 1/8" Phillips
head screwdriver!

You killed Hegel!

What?

How could you, Chyna?

I thought you were
my best friend.

But I am your best friend!

It wasn't me! I didn't do it!

Looks like it's not
just the shawarma

that's feeling the heat.

Give me back my sunglasses!

Lexi, I see you got my gift!

Thank you so much for buying
me this super trendy outfit.

Where did you get it?
Forever 81?

Anyway, the best way to make
a cool first impression

with Ted Taggart's daughter is
with a supercool handshake.

Okay. Follow my lead.

Ow!

What? What are you doing?

That was the end
of the handshake.

Hey, Olive!

Oh, sorry, my parents
always told me,

"Olive, never talk
to criminals."

My parents gave me similar advi.

They said, "Gibson, never
buy seafood from a clown."

I think she's still
angry at you.

My mom? It was one
bucket of crawfish!

Okay, what do you want?

Nothing. I just really
like to stand in line.

Admit it, Chyna!

You used that screwdriver
to mangle Hegel's insides!

I'll have the shawarma plate
with extra rice, please.

You were jealous of my
relationship with him!

What? I wasn't jealous.

I even fed him for you.

I'm telling you I was framed!

And I'll prove it!
I will not rest...

I'll take a shawarma sandwich
with a little extra hummus.

Until I find the real culprit!

How are you going to do that?

Well, I found a strand
of the criminal's hair

stuck in the screwdriver and my
dad's gonna run a match on it.

I just need hair
samples from everyone.

Ow!

Ow!

Oh! Ah!

My hair is very strong.

The military buys
it to make rope.

Okay, Dad, so I put all the
evidence right here in my...

What happened to my hair?

It doesn't look that bad.
Just wear a hat.

Well, not my hair.

I was talking about
the hair samples.

Hegel's killer must
have stolen them.

Now what? Olive will never
be my friend again.

Relax.

I'm a highly decorated member of the
San Francisco Police Department.

Let's just go over
the facts again.

Okay.

Olive's Flurbot stopped working.

There were scratch
marks on its back

that match the 1/8th Phillips
screwdriver that was in my locker.

Looks like you did it.

What? Don't worry.

I won't tell anyone.

My lips are sealed.

And a little chapped.

Mmm.

Chapped!

That's it! I know who did it!

And that's

not just lip service.

Angus got shawarma grease
all over my glasses.

Well, I've taught you
everything I know.

Ted Taggart's daughter is going to think
you are the world's biggest idiot.

I certainly hope so.

That looks like Ted
Taggart's daughter.

That's Olive.

Wow. I've done a really good
job of tuning you kids out.

Excuse me,

I'm looking for
Principal Skidmore.

Oh, that's me.

Oh, hi!

I'm Ted Taggart's daughter.
Dakota.

You're Dakota? How old are you?

Twenty-five.

You look a lot older than 25.

I'm sorry, my hearing's
not very good.

I thought you asked me
what year I was born.

1925.

You're older than I am!

Wait a second.

How old is your father?

I don't know.

They didn't really keep
records back then.

I think you all know why
I've gathered you here.

Are we having a pot luck?

Because I brought clown lobster!

You're here because I know
who the real culprit is!

And Olive, you'll see,
once and for all,

that I would never hurt you.

I was set up, made to
look like the fall guy,

the straw man, the patsy.

Why are you laughing?

Patsy is what I used
to call my pacifier,

which reminds me...

Proceed.

As with all crimes, it always
comes down to one thing.

Who had the opportunity
and who had the motive?

Okay, okay, so it comes
down to two things.

Anyway, only one person
here had the motive

and... Okay!

Fine! It was me! I did it!

It called me stupid! And
nobody calls me stupid!

Well, actually, I
call you stupid.

Okay, you all call me stupid,

but from Hegel it really stung.

Chyna, I am so sorry
I blamed you.

Hold on. It wasn't him.

Because he left out
one important fact.

He

Is not Fletcher!

Fine! I did it!

I was jealous of that Flurbot
getting all of your affection

instead of me!

That's why I opened him up
and removed his logic board!

But I had to cover my tracks.

So, dressed as Fletcher
wearing a glove on his head,

I planted the evidence
in Chyna's locker.

Then when Chyna took
the hair samples,

I stole them dressed as
Fletcher dressed as Wacky

to make it look like Fletcher tried
to frame Wacky for framing Chyna.

And I'd do it again,

but I can't, 'cause I'm kind of
confused about exactly what I did.

Case closed. No.

Case still open.

Because Angus is
not the murderer!

When Angus cut Hegel's wires,

Hegel was already dead!

He had been snuffed out
just minutes before

by...

Okay, fine! It was me! I did it!

It called me stupid!

And nobo calls me stupid!

Actually, I call you stupid.

Okay, you all call me stupid,

but from Hegel it really stung.

That's what I said!

By the way, my Fletcher voice
is way better than yours.

I couldn't take the
abuse anymore.

So I poisoned him!

So it was Fletcher!

Case closed. And
it's open again.

Because what
Fletcher didn't know

is that when he poisoned Hegel,

Hegel was already dead!

He had been killed
just minutes before,

by

Gibson!

CHYN 28 games of
tic-tac-toe in a row,

Hegel had beaten Gibson,

who, it's become
increasingly clear,

has no understanding of
what tic-tac-toe is.

Humiliated, Gibson
flipped over the table,

sending Hegel flying through
the air to his death.

Gibson didn't mean to kill him,

as evidenced by the lip balm
residue on Hegel's face

from where Gibson futilely tried to
administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

to a toy with no mouth.

It's true! It was an accident!

But he kept mocking
me with this mocking,

mocking sound of mocking!

I'm now going to mock the mocking
sound he made to mock me.

Wait! That's not
a mocking sound.

That's the sound he makes
when he's been overfed.

He must've eaten a
fatal amount of food

and died in midair
before he landed.

So Gibson didn't kill Hegel.

Whoever overfed him did!

Who was the last
one to feed him?

You're still hungry?

Okay, Hegelly Weggelly!

Chyna fed him last.

Except, I'm not Chyna!

I'm...

I cannot seem to
get this mask off.

Well I just have to...

I din't mean to hurt Hegel.

Sorry. I thought I was helping.

I accept your apology.

To quote Hegel's favorite philosoper.
Hegel.

Ok, what was that mean?

To paraphase. Whatevs!

Eh, if it helps.

I'm sure Hagel loves you
as much as you love him.

Eh. She fell for it.

No more Olive, I'm free.
Free. Free.