A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 24 - Ballet DANTser - full transcript

Hey, Chyna, would you like
to pose for a painting?

I'll do it!

I've been looking to get back into
modeling since I gave it up two years ago.

I got way too deep into
the Milan party scene.

Guys! Guys! Guys!

Someone saw a football player
asking directions to the Ant Farm!

Everyone into the panic room! Big
kid coming! This is not a drill!

Move, move, move!

Angus, what are you doing?

Oiling up for my modeling gig. Do
you want shirt on or shirt off?

Shirt on!



Great! Now we're all doomed!

Might as well make these
last few seconds count.

No.

Guys!

Huh?

That dude is so tiny.

That dude isn't a dude, dude.

Hi, I'm Violet. I'm starting the A.
N.T. Program today.

Hi! I didn't know we were getting
a new Ant. What's your talent?

Name it.

Football, basketball, baseball,
lacrosse, ice hockey.

I also used to do a
little ultimate fighting

before they added all these
"rules" about "safety."

You don't look much
like a football player.



Oh, yeah? Hold this.

Watch how I kick.

Don't ever question my
football skills again!

Okay! Okay.

Did she say her name was
Violet, or Violent?

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing

♪ Something different
we all bring

♪ Don't you let 'em
clip your wings

♪ You got it You got it

♪ We're on fire and we blaze

♪ In extraordinary ways

♪ You can dream it

♪ You can be it

♪ If you can feel it

♪ You can believe it

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptjonal

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptional

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

I'm so excited
about Driver's Ed.

When's Ed going to get here?

Do you think he's
related to Phys Ed?

I can't wait to get
my driver's license.

I'll finally be able to drive
like a real grown-up! re.

Attention, everyone, officer
Darryl Parks. Police.

Dad? Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Teaching Driver's Ed.

Because of budget cuts,
parents volunteer. ng.

Right now, the baseball field.
ng.

All right, so, what
kind of rides we got?

Convertibles with
souped-up engines?

Better.

Dad, I'm gonna look stupid driving
to the toy store in one of these!

Sorry, the school can't
afford real cars.

They can't even
afford a real clock.

Oh! Hey, Violet, you want
us to pull up a seat?

Oh, that's okay.
I'll sit over there.

What? No, no, no. You do not want to
do that. That's the big kids' table!

So?

So, one time, Fletcher tried to just
borrow their salt and pepper...

Yeah, and what happened?

Where's the salt?

You don't want to know.

Anyway, lately things between the Ants and
the big kids have been surprisingly calm.

So just try not to provoke
them, especially Lexi Reed.

That's "her seat."

Oh, I get it.

Oh, good.

You guys are too gutless to
stand up for yourselves.

Well, I'm going to
sit where I want.

And if Lexi messes with me, I'll
slap the spray tan right off of her.

What do you think you're doing?

What does it look like, blondie?

Eating my lunch.

Um, why are you making
eycontact with me?

You don't even have an eye
contact permission request.

Look, you better move along or you'll
be making eye contact with my fist!

Chyna, do something.

Here, Lexi, let me pack
up your lunch to go.

You got hummus in my purse!

Actually, it looks
like baba ghanoush.

Mmm-hmm, I taste the eggplant.

Hey, Lexi.

I see you've met Violet. She's
a spunky one, isn't she?

What is her problem?

Well, it's her fir...

Wait, here's my eye contact
permission request.

Thank you.

It's her first day. So
just give her a chance.

Look, I need no distractions,
because this is a big week for me.

As you well know, I'm dancing the lead
in the ballet recital this Friday.

I did not know that.

Didn't see it in my newsletter,
The Lexi Reed-All-About-It?

Oh, sorry I forgot to submit
my subscription renewal.

Oh!

Thank you.

Anyway, from now on, you are personally
responsible for keeping her away from me.

Why me?

Because for some reason, the
other Ants look up to you.

So keep that animal
under control,

because I have a mean side and
you guys do not want to see it.

We haven't seen it?

We have to do something
about Lexi and Violet.

Lexi's the queen bee
of the big kids,

and if you mess with the queen bee, she's
going to send the whole hive after us.

Actually, interesting factoid...

The queen bee does not
directly control the hive.

In fact, when her pheromone
production diminishes,

the worker bees
cuddle her to death.

My grandma Dottie almost
did the same thing to me.

Well, we're never
going to change Lexi.

But maybe we can find a
way to calm Violet down.

You know what always calms me down?
Art.

My aroma therapist,
Art Strickler.

Wait, what about actual art?

We could use our talents. You
could try art, I could try music,

and Olive can lull her to sleep
with interesting factoids.

Actually, interesting factoid
about interesting factoids...

See? Isn't this relaxing?

By the way, that's
a beautiful horse.

This is a picture
of my grandmother!

Are you saying my grandmother
looks like a horse?

No.

Then you're saying
I'm a bad painter?

No!

Then what are you saying?

Art, clear your schedule. I'm
going to need all of Wednesday.

Listen to this song, Violet. It's
been known to charm deadly cobras.

Can I see that?

Of course!

I hate the flute.

She turned my flute
into a triangle.

That's the... The only instrument
I don't know how to play.

Hi, Violet!

Would you like to help me with this
crossword puzzle? It's very calming.

Sure, Olive. That sounds like
a new and fun challenge.

Okay, let's just put
away your knife shoes.

All right, I'm looking for a
six-letter word, that begins with S

and ends in I-D, and means
"Lacking in intelligence."

Hmm, I'm not sure.

Stupid!

Who are you calling stupid?

Oh, no, no, no, it's just the
answer to the clue. "Stupid."

Are you calling me stupid again?

No, don't be stupid...

Okay that time I did
call you stupid.

I want you to be careful
with these cars.

They belong to my
four-year-old niece, Ashley,

and she's already had
three accidents in them.

Two poops and a pee.

Remember, don't go too fast,
and watch out for pedestrians.

Ooh! My dad is a pedestrian!
And my mom is a Capricorn.

You know what? Let's
practice braking.

Ooh! I'm really good at breaking.
Check this out.

That's not how you brake.

This is how you break. Hey!

Well, everyone's different. Maybe
exercise calms Violet down.

I'm off to ballet.

Ballet? She's taking ballet?
Lexi's in ballet.

What are we going to do?

I don't want to interrupt here, but
my shoe is filling with blood.

Violet, are you sure you
want to take ballet?

Actually, a lot of football players take
ballet. It really improves balance.

My coach says I'm a
little unstable.

I bet a lot of people say that.

What are we going to do?

Violet is headed straight into
the middle of a hornets' nest!

Fletcher, keep your
metaphors straight.

Is Lexi a queen bee or a hornet?

They're very different.

Like hornets can sting
multiple times, while bees...

Wow, I actually
just bored myself.

Look. We just need to
figure out a way to

keep Violet from provoking
Lexi during dance.

How are we going to do that?
None of us take ballet.

Oh, no.

Uh, you know, Fletcher,
boys don't wear tutus.

Man! You couldn't have told me that
before I went into the dressing room?

Next thing you're going to tell me is
that I don't need my hair in this bun.

Hey, guys!

Angus, what are you doing here?

I've been in ballet for years.

Where else can I be in a room
with a bunch of babes in tights?

Plus, I'm awesome.

Scoot over, blondie. I want to get
some pull ups in before rehearsal.

Chyna! I told you to keep that
little sociopath away from me.

Excuse me, I'm
standing right here.

I was talking about Violet.

Look, this ballet recital
is my moment to shine,

and if you or that maniac Violet
ruin this for me, I will...

Aw!

I look so pretty!

Oh. Sorry, my beauty distracted
me from finishing my threat.

Look. Don't worry.
I'm all over this.

You won't even know
Violet's here.

All right! Who's ready
to play some ballet?

Let's win this thing!
No pain, no gain!

Chyna!

Oh, look! Who's that beautiful
girl in the mirror?

Aw, pretty!

Is there a problem, Officer?

You did not come to a full
stop near the water fountain.

I'm so sorry!

I'm just having one
of those days.

My orange juice this morning had pulp in
it, and my cereal had milk in it, and...

All right, all right, all
right, all right, stop crying.

I'll let you off with a warning.

Thank you!

Stop! You were doing five
in a two-and-a-half.

I'm so sorry! I was...

Doing that thing that
Paisley said she was doing!

Stop crying and be a man!

All right, fine. Give
me your fake ticket.

Oh, this isn't fake. The school
is raising money to buy a clock.

What are you looking at? You've
never seen a lily pad before?

This is it. The end of the road.

Wait, I have an idea.

I don't know why I didn't
think of it sooner.

We quit school and get married?
Ooh, can I be a bridesmaid?

How would that even help us?

Married people live longer.
Statistically, he's correct.

We're not getting married!

I'm just going to go try
and reason with her.

Tell her violence
isn't the answer.

Boy, my fiancee comes up
with the craziest plans.

Hey, I was wondering if I
could ask you a question.

Sure.

You-seem-really-tightly-wound-
and-we-were-wondering...

If-you-could-possibly-
chill-out-a-little-please-don't-hit-me.

Look, I... I'd love to
chill out, but I can't.

You probably haven't noticed,
but I have slight anger issues.

Oh, really? I hadn't noticed at all.
What are you so angry about?

You want to know what
I'm angry about? Yes.

You want to know what
I'm angry about?

A little less so, but okay.

I'll tell you what
I'm angry about!

Well, I have a crush on
this super cute boy.

I really "like him" like him, but I'm
not sure if he "likes me" likes me.

I don't know who it is, but I'm
sure he "fears you" fears you.

I don't know why I just said that.
Go on.

If you tell anyone, I'll tear out
your tongue and slap you with it!

But it's Fletcher. He's so cute!

Hold off. Fletcher?
Fletcher Quimby?

The only guy I know who
actually owns a loom?

Yes. He's so sensitive.

And not knowing how he feels
about me makes me so angry!

If he liked me, I would be the
happiest girl on the football team.

Happy? You'd be happy?

No, he does not like you.

He loves you. He
"loves you" loves you.

I love you, too, Fletcher!

What?

Fletcher, tell her how
much you love her.

Can't... Breathe...

See? You take his breath away.

This is Grandma Dottie
all over again.

Hey, babe. Prepare to
taste burnt plastic.

Hey! You just ran a red light!

Try to catch me, copper!

Man, I wish this
thing had a siren.

While you guys are racing, I'm
going to listen to my stereo!

Look at Lexi and Violet on the same
stage, dancing together so peacefully.

Good work, Chyna!

Well, what can I say?
I'm a problem solver.

Now this next part
makes no sense to me.

When the swan presents her prince with
the egg, he thanks her with a kiss.

I would much prefer a
cheeses-of-the-world basket.

There is no way I'm letting my man
kiss that pathetic piece of poultry!

What are you doing?

I'm giving this to Fletcher.

Oh, no.

Give me that egg!

No. Fletchie, I'm ready for my kiss.
Catch!

Ooh, interception!

Ha! Nice try!

Fumble!

Here, Angus! Pass it to me!

No! To me!

Angus hands off to Olive.

I don't want it! And
she laterals to Chyna!

Come on, lily pads!
All out blitz!

Let's go, swans! Let's get them!

Okay, wait. Guys. Guys!
Timeout! Timeout!

There are no timeouts remaining! This
game is coming down to the wire!

All right. Down, set.

Do what they're doing!

Hut one, hut two, and...

Yikes!

Chyna going down to
the ten, to the five!

She could go all the way!

Come on!

This was supposed
to be my moment!

Oh, good.

Ballet parking.

Lexi, I'm really sorry
about what happened,

so I got you a present.

If you think a present is
going to make up for...

Aw!

Pretty...

Ooh! Olive! Hi!

Have you seen my
little Fletchie?

Uhh...

No. I haven't seen him.

Do not make me get
my knife shoes...

He's in the panic room.