A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 16 - IgnorANTs Is Bliss - full transcript

Keep squishing, guys!

Remember, we are
making grape juice

purely as an
educational exercise.

Yeah, we're learning
that Principal Skidmore

is too cheap to buy us juice.

I gotta say,

this is really soothing
my athlete's foot.

I wonder if it will
work on my hemorrhoids.

No! No!

Hey, guys, big news!

I am holding an
open house Thursday



for prospective Ants
and their parents.

I need somebody to give a speech
about the A.N.T. Program.

You mean explain how
innocent 11-year-olds

have been robbed of their
youth by their principal,

a power-hungry tyrant?

You take that back or I
will tear out your tongue

and feed it to my raven!

Chyna, you'll give the speech.

So get to work. I'm
counting on you.

I'll do whatever you want.

Please don't take my tongue.

Guys, stomp faster. Like this!

Ow! Ow!

I can't... Ow! Ow!
Stop! Oh, stop!



Wow. You can really
taste the foot.

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing

♪ Something different
we all bring

♪ Don't you let 'em
clip your wings

♪ You got it You got it

♪ We're on fire and we blaze

♪ In extraordinary ways

♪ 365 days

♪ We got it We got it

♪ You can dream it

♪ You can be it

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptional

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are

♪ Exceptional Exceptional

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

Cameron, did you
download a boxing app

and punch my A.N.T. Pad?

How dare you
something like that?

You have no evidence.
None whatsoever.

Your knuckles are bandaged.

That's not from the screen.

I got this

breaking out of a
giant snow globe,

where I was being
evil gift shop owner.

If you were really
trapped in a snow globe,

you would be wet fake sparkles.
Little.

And I know, because it
happened to Gibson.

Let me out of here!

My speech was on here!

You're going to pay for this!

What are you going to do?

No, I mean you're going to
pay for this to be repaired.

Hey, Gibson,

my dad's making me fix
Chyna's A.N.T Pad.

I've got to find some
way to get $250.

Ooh. Well, I'd suggest
entering the dog show,

but it won't work.

The first prize isn't $250.

It's $300.

I've got an idea!

I could find a dog,
enter the dog show,

win first prize, fix the A.N.T.
Pad,

and throw the other $50 away.

Problem solved!

Hey, Angus.

Check out this night-light
I made for my bedroom.

Hey, Angus,

remember when we were on
that field trip to the zoo

and you said you'd
do anything for me

if I never told anyone I caught
you trying to eat a flamingo?

I thought it was cotton candy.

Whatever. It's payback time.

My A.N.T. Pad is broken.

Can you retrieve my speech?

Sure. As long as you backed it up.
Ooh.

I didn't back it up!
No one backs up!

Don't worry, Chyna. I
proofread your speech

and I remember every word of it,

including that typo where instead
of "poor," you wrote "poop."

Oh, Olive, thank goodness!

Because Skidmore's had this thing
following me around all day.

Shoo! Go! Go!

I'll help you with that
little bird problem.

Finally, a chance to
use my USB rotisserie.

Okay, Olive.

Go into the sound booth, recite
my speech, and I'll record you.

Okay. All righty.

No, Fletcher, don't plug
that in near my amplifier!

Oh, please. Nothing's
going to happen.

No!

Well, nothing happened to us.

Olive?

Are you okay? Can
you hear anything?

I can hear fine,

but who are you?
And who's Olive?

Oh, no! This is terrible.

Hello, Terrible.
Nice to meet you.

The sound must have
affected Olive's memory.

She doesn't remember who we are.

You remember me, right?

I'm Angus, your boyfriend.

Perhaps this kiss
will remind you.

No!

So, what did the door say?

Oh, he didn't say much,

but I could see in his eyes
he found me irresistible.

Yeah, I meant about Olive.

Oh, he said that the sound waves

caused an inflammation
in her hippocampus.

After I yelled at him
for making up words,

he explained to me that
there's no physical damage,

but he couldn't predict when,
or if, her memory will return.

Grandma, can I have a candy?

What if her memory
doesn't come back?

Well, then she'll no
longer have a talent

and she'll have to leave the A.N.T.
Program.

What? No! You can't do that!

Olive may not have her memory,

but she does have other talents.
Like...

Tap dancing.

I can tap dance?

I guess I must've forgotten
about that, too.

Wow, I am good!

Guess I'll have to find
a new memory freak

at the prospective
students night.

Oh! Which reminds me, Chyna, are
you finished writing your speech?

Oh, I'm finished.

Bye, leathery lunch lady!

So, Olive, did they do any
X-rays of your brain?

And if so, did they see a
copy of my speech in there?

Olive, hurry up! They're coming!

Who's Olive? Who's coming?

Hey! Ow! Hey!

Cut it out! Stop!

Olive? Are you okay?

Ow! Who wears golf
shoes to school?

Seriously!

I can't keep this
sign-up sign up,

but this is where you
sign up, so sign up.

Okay, but this is
merely a formality,

since Princess is the
cutest wittle puppy ever.

Come on, Snuggles,
let's sign up.

When did you get a dog?

I got him from my dad.
He's a police dog.

Snuggles is a sweetheart as long as
he doesn't hear the word A-T-T-A-C-K.

A-T-T...

Attack?

No!

Release, Snuggles! Release!

Lexi, please don't say
you know what again.

This isn't working. Do
either of you have a tack?

No!

All right. Angus, put these
on to protect your ears.

Why?

Well, I figured if a loud sound
made Olive lose her memory,

another loud sound
can bring it back.

What?

Here comes Olive!

What?

You hear that?

Yeah. What the heck was that?

I'm scared, Gordon. Hold me.

All right.

Let's see if it worked.

Olive, what is the
capital of North Dakota?

Rhinoceros?

Yes, she's back!

Whatever that noise was
made my raven go crazy.

It's out in the hall
attacking the janitor.

The raven's all, "Caw! Caw!"

And the janitor's all, "My eyes!
My eyes!"

Classic.

Good news, Principal Skidmore.

Olive got her memory back!

Oh. Well, let me check
her out myself.

Olive?

No, thanks, I just ate.

You're Olive.

Oh, yeah!

Nice try.

I'm sorry, Olive, but you will
have to leave high school.

Please, Principal Skidmore!

Don't send Olive back to
regular elementary school!

I won't.

She's not ready for
elementary school.

Olive, welcome to kindergarten.

Thanks, kindly bag lady!

♪ The itsy-bitsy spider

♪ Went up the water spout

♪ Down came the rain and
washed the spider out

Poor spider!

He's dead. I just
know he's dead.

♪ Out came the sun and
dried up all the rain

♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider

♪ went up the spout again ♪

Oh, thank goodness.

Wow, this song really
plays with your emotions.

Oh, Olive!

I have missed you so much!

Yeah. Chyna's
missed you so much!

So, are you okay?

How's it going?

Sorry. Miss Angie said I'm not
supposed to talk to strangers.

You really don't remember me?

I'm your best friend.

No, Isabelle's my best friend.

She gave me a sticker.

What is this supposed to be?

Come on, Fletcher. Let's go.

The Ant Farm will never
be the same without her,

but I guess this is
where Olive belongs.

Oh!

Don't cry, Joshie.

I remember exactly how it went.

Interesting factoid about
the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Prior to restoration
completed in 2001,

the tower leaned at an
angle of 5.5 degrees.

But it now leans at
approximately 3.99 degrees.

Seriously, Legan,

my dad won't even let me in the
house till I get the $250.

The dog show starts in 15
minutes and I don't have a dog!

If that's not bad enough, my abdomen is
still sore from all those rabies shots!

Shut up, stupid cat. Can't
you see I'm on the phone?

That's it! Legan, I've
got to go get ready.

Welcome to the dog show!
I love doing that.

I am your host, Gibson,

along with my co-host,

the reigning Golden
Collar recipient, Gibdog.

You're right, Gibdog.
They're not here to see us.

They're here to see our
wonderful contestants.

Excuse me. I was here earlier.

I think I forgot something.

Actually, I meant my cell phone.

This is exactly the
way you had it.

I remember because the pattern
was red, red, yellow,

blue, red, green red, blue,
blue, yellow, green.

And I know this one was on top

because you wiped
your nose with it.

Olive, you have
your memory back!

Uh... Who's Olive?

Who are you? Stranger danger!

Stranger danger!

Wait a minute.

You've been faking!

You never lost your memory!

No, I did. Just, when I got
trampled in the hallway,

my memory came back.

I just wanted to get
out of high school.

Kindergarten is the life!

I'm the big kid here. Watch.

Joshie, raisins.

See? This place is awesome!

So the whole time I was trying
to keep my best friend around,

she was trying just as
hard to get away from me!

No, I never wanted to
get away from you,

just the big kids.

Wait, I have an idea!

What if you lose your memory?

We can be in the same
kindergarten class!

This might hurt a bit.

Look, I'm out of here.

Oh.

And thanks for making me
rewrite my speech for nothing!

Oh, grow up, Joshie!
You're almost five!

Hmm. A little overgrown,

but I'm gonna give you
some bonus points

for being able to stand
on your hind legs.

Now, head up, tail out.

Sassy walk. Like this.

And who do we have here?

This is my dog. Snoop
Dogg, the dog.

Did your dog just meow?

Yes. He does all kinds
of impressions.

You should hear his
Jack Nicholson.

What? No, don't be
ridiculous, Gibdog.

That's not a cat.
This is a dog show.

Mmm. Nice ears.

Soft, almost plush.

Come on!

It says dry-clean only!

Ooh-la-la! High-class dog.

This isn't a dog!

This is a cat!

Well, Snoop Dogg, it looks like
you're the only contestant left.

You win the prize!

Yes! That's my dog!

Good boy!

He is so calm.

So is yours. He's the only other
dog who didn't chase that cat.

That's because Gibdog is blind.

I'm his Seeing Eye man.

Okay, we're clear, Gibdog.

Chyna, I see you
have your speech.

Before you start, I'd like to
give you a last-minute pep talk.

Mess this up and
you're raven food!

This juice we made is
actually pretty tasty.

Oh, and good news. I didn't
have athlete's foot.

Turns out, it's something
called Albanian toe worms.

Oh, I'm gonna puke!

My speech!

Can I have your
attention, everyone?

I want to let one of the shining
stars of the A.N.T. Program

come up and say a few words.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Chyna Parks.

I can't go on! My
speech is out of order!

No, you're out of order!

Sorry, I've always
wanted to do that.

Chyna, now.

Welcome, parents,

prospective Ants, faculty
and low-flow toilets.

Wait.

And the A.N.T. Program
wouldn't be the same

without the guidance of
Principal Skidmore, who is

asbestos-free, despite
being over 100 years old.

What are you doing?

If I wanted a terrible speech, I
would have had Fletcher do it!

Actually, Chyna wrote
a great speech.

And I remember every word of it.

That's right! I was faking!

Look, Dad! Look at what
the raven's doing!

Olive, if you remember the speech,
then come up here and deliver it.

My old school's track record for dealing
with gifted students was very, very poop.

And in conclusion, I just want to say
that before I started the A.N.T. Program,

I wasn't sure I belonged
in high school.

But to my surprise, the A.N.T.
Program has been

one of the best things
that ever happened to me.

Not only has it given me the opportunity
to cultivate my musical talent,

but, most importantly...

It's where I've met
my best friend.

I feel the same way
about you, Olive!

I'm sorry, guys. I never
should have lied to you.

I'm just glad you're back.

Yeah, Chyna's just
glad you're back.

Well, thanks for bailing me out.

And I want you to know I meant
every word that I wrote.

And I meant every word that
you wrote that I said.

So, do you want to
hang out after school?

I would, but I've got a
play date with Joshie.

You can come, too, but
I got to warn you,

he's a sand thrower.

Joshie.

Yeah, you tell this Joshie
to stay away from my woman!

He's not big, is he?

I hope tonight has been informative to
all of you prospective Ants and parents.

We really do take
care of our kids,

and make sure they're in a calm, safe
environment here at the Ant Farm.

Princess!

Heel, Snoop Dogg!

What is going on?

You almost gave me

a heart attack.

No!

Release, Snuggles! Release!