A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 14 - MutANT Farm - full transcript
It's Chyna's first day in the "MUTANT Program", where the ANTs and Gibson are monsters and the older kids are regular humans. Chyna is Medusa so she fits right in with her new Mutant Program friends: Olive, a mad scientist, Fletcher, a vampire and Angus, a zombie. The social hierarchy roles have been reversed and the older kids are actually scared of the ANTs, so Gibson (whose a mummy) pairs everybody off to help prepare for the "mutants only" Halloween dance.
Oh, my gosh! Dad,
look at this place!
Lockers instead of coffins,
classrooms instead of cages.
Him instead of...
What was I talking about?
Dad, does she have to
go to my high school?
Seriously, she's creepy.
It's not Chyna's fault
she's a monster.
It's your mom's fault.
When I met her, I thought
she was wearing a costume.
I didn't know she was a monster
till after we were married.
Which actually happens
to a lot of guys.
Well, I don't want Chyna anywhere
near me with her disgusting...
Chyna, how many times
have I told you
not to turn your
brother to stone?
Hi, I'm Gibson. Hi.
Welcome to the Mutant Farm!
I love doing that.
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
Whoo!
♪ Everybody's got that thing
♪ Something different
we all bring
♪ Don't you let 'em
clip your wings
♪ You got it You got it
♪ We're on fire and we blaze
♪ In extraordinary ways
♪ 365 days
♪ We got it We got it
♪ You can dream it
♪ You can be it
♪ If you can feel it
♪ You can believe it
♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
So, all these kids are monsters?
Yes. Like you, each student in
the Mutant Program is a freak.
Alex is a skeleton.
He should stop exercising.
He's down to 0% body fat.
Angus is a zombie.
Do I have guidance counselor
stuck in my teeth?
And then there's Svetlana.
Where is Svetlana?
That's it. You're grounded.
Give me your broom.
Ugh! How is that punishing him?
Uh, I don't mean
to alarm anyone,
but that kid has a dead body.
Oh, that's Fletcher. He
collects dead bodies.
Is this your coffin?
It's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
I mean, your coffin
is beautiful.
I don't have a coffin. I
sleep in a snake pit.
I know, but, you see, I...
Hi. I'm Olive Doyle,
mad scientist.
You know, I could get
you one of these hats.
Why would I want
to hide my brain?
Brains!
Do they come in pink?
You can go right
over there, bud.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
working on an evil formula.
What's in it?
Methyl glucose ether, sodium
hydroxide, tartaric acid,
sulfate copolymer, polyquaternium
10, and high-fructose corn syrup.
That stuff's in everything.
Now, this will turn
that skunk into a hunk.
A hunk of what? That's Gibson.
Oh, thank goodness I'm
not a skunk anymore.
Ugh! Ugh!
Man, what's that smell?
Oh, I just farted.
Halloween dance?
I don't understand why we have to
celebrate this stupid holiday.
I mean, it's Halloween
every day around here.
Speaking of which, how much
time do we have before...
Run!
Brains!
Brains!
This arm looks a little dry.
Does anyone have any
ranch dressing?
Or moisturizer?
What's with the evil laugh?
Evil laugh? That's
my regular laugh.
This is my evil laugh.
Tee-hee-hee!
Oh, look, they're
serving Sloppy Joe.
Hey, Joe.
Help!
I'll be there as fast as I can!
Angus ate the entire
basketball team!
Well, I couldn't eat
the track team.
They're too hard to catch.
You have to do
something about this.
Angus ate my prom date.
And my boyfriend.
And the guy I like.
Oh, come on. There's no
reason we can't be friends.
You'd like us if you
got to know us.
Maybe this revolting
creature is on to something.
We'll have a buddy system.
Every mutant will be
paired with a non-mutant.
You guys can work together to
prepare for the Halloween dance.
What?
What?
That is a great idea!
We can choose our buddies by
drawing names out of my hat.
No!
No!
I'll just pair you up right now.
Chyna, you're with Lexi.
Olive, you're with Paisley.
Fletcher, you're with Cameron.
And you...
Well, you're good.
Look at these offensive
decorations.
I mean, spider webs?
Just because we're monsters doesn't
mean we don't keep a tidy home.
Look at the size of this orange!
It's hard to peel.
You know, I could hook you up to a
machine that could make you smarter.
Okay.
It might melt your insides.
Okay.
I'll make you smarter
by switching your brain
with one from a far
more intelligent being.
Do you really think this will...
Okay, we're in charge
of games for the dance.
I was thinking bobbing
for eyeballs?
Musical electric chairs?
Truth or death?
Don't look at me! I don't
want to turn to stone!
I'd instantly gain
like 2,000 pounds.
Okay, well, how about
hide and shriek?
Okay, you win. Let's play again.
So, let's talk refreshments. What
should we serve at the dance?
How about
garlic?
That's just a myth.
Vampires aren't
afraid of garlic.
In fact, we love it.
Sauteed over blood sausage?
To die for.
Okay, in that case,
why don't we serve
stake?
That doesn't work either.
If you want to damage
my heart with a stake,
make it a fatty porterhouse.
All right.
How about for drinks we serve
holy water?
Seriously, dude.
Hey, Angus!
How are you and your buddy
doing with ticket sales?
Good.
Where is your buddy?
He's not feeling well.
Angus, did you eat your buddy?
Not all of him.
There's some left over
in this tinfoil swan.
Wow. The gym looks great!
And see? Nobody got hurt.
That's true. Good point.
I feel fine.
And we all did it together.
Lexi suggested instead of
eyeballs, we bob for apples.
And I've got to say apples
are just not as sweet.
You know, maybe we'll actually
have fun at this party.
I can't wait to hit
the dance floor.
I'm going to do
the Frankenstein!
Oh, no, don't do that. It's
culturally insensitive.
Not all monsters
dance like that.
Besides, you're not going to the dance.
It's monsters only.
What? Why can't they come?
Sorry. It's Mutant
Council policy.
"No humans are allowed
to the Halloween dance,
"unless already in
Angus' stomach."
Who wants to be my plus one?
That's not fair. We
did all that work.
Yeah.
This really ruffles my feathers.
Hey, Dad.
I see you finally had
your growth spurt.
It's a Halloween costume.
Halloween's stupid.
Like candy corn.
Doesn't look like corn!
Doesn't taste like corn!
You can't pop it in the microwave!
I tried!
Hey, where are you going
dressed like that?
Trick or treating.
Since Chyna and the other mutants
won't let us go to the dance.
No way. It's not safe for
you to be out on Halloween.
That's not fair. You
let Chyna go out.
You let her do
anything she wants.
Because I'm scared of her.
She's got snakes for hair, man!
Hey. Sorry I'm late. I
had to stop at the bank.
Oh, look! I just got
a text from Satan.
"See you soon."
We're going bowling on Saturday.
What? Satan and I are supposed
to go rollerblading on Saturday.
Aw! You cannot trust that guy!
You know, I still feel bad
for the regular kids.
They really wanted to be here.
Boo-hoo. Poor beautiful,
undeformed humans.
Just think about how
they must feel,
being scared in
their own school.
If only we could walk a
mile in their shoes.
What? That's crazy. Walk a mile?
No one can walk a mile.
Would you stop worrying
about the normal kids?
Come on. Just relax
and have some punch.
There's eye of newt in it.
Sorry, Newt.
How can I get through to them?
The punch!
This should give
the punch a kick.
Ooh, trick or treaters.
Help yourself to some candy.
Cameron, it's us.
Lexi and Paisley.
Paisley? Did Olive
switch you back?
Yeah. I didn't want to,
but the duck insisted.
Ooh! Good, you're in costume.
A bunch of us humans are going
to sneak into the dance
dressed as mutants.
Hey! What's going on here?
You're not going out, are you?
No, these are friends
from school,
here to watch a horror movie
and it's more fun
when you dress up.
If we're going to watch a movie,
can you cut me bigger eye holes?
Well, a movie sounds fun!
I'll join you! Let
me get my costume!
Great. Now we're stuck here.
Not necessarily.
These sculptures are so realistic!
They look just like us!
Now let's go get our party on!
Check out this policeman
costume I bought
with money I made at
my policeman job.
All right, kids! Let's
watch that movie!
Vroom! Vroom!
Okay, everyone act natural.
I mean, unnatural.
The bride of Frankenstein, huh?
Hey, Frank, mind if I
dance with your wife?
Hey, baby. What's
your blood type?
Oh. I'm not positive.
Dang. I'm so in the
mood for O positive!
Okay, everybody, gather round.
I would like to propose a toast.
To life!
And death.
Wow. Good stuff.
What's happening to me?
I'm beautiful!
I have a reflection!
I used your lab to whip up a formula
that makes monsters look human.
And we all just drank it.
This way you can
see for yourself
that it's not so
easy to be human.
How come they didn't change?
They're drinking the punch.
Uh, no we're not.
Cameron?
You guys crashed our dance?
I will now feast on your blood!
Tee-hee-hee!
You don't have fangs.
But you do have some baby teeth.
Look, there's no reason monsters
and humans can't get along.
Can't you see we're all
the same underneath?
Oh, a jack-o-lantern!
Let's light it!
Fire bad!
Great. The DJ left!
This party's dead and so am I.
Well, at least I was
before you turned me into
a human.
Yeah. Let's go, you guys.
Hey, wait!
If you guys want music, I
can perform something.
What are you going to do?
Play some creepy organ?
There are organs? I didn't
see any at the snack table!
Hey! Don't take that. Not the spleen!
Not the spleen!
Actually, Lexi, I was thinking
I could sing a little.
♪ Callin' all the monsters!
Callin' all the monsters!
♪ Callin' all I'm callin' all
I'm callin' all the monsters!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
♪ Heart thumps And you jump
♪ Comin' down with goosebumps
♪ You dared to go there
♪ I'm-a, I'm-a get you so scared
♪ We're wantin' to
We're hauntin' you
♪ We're wantin' to
♪ You stayed and too late
to be getting afraid
♪ This scene extreme
I'm-a get you so scared
♪ We're wantin' to
We're hauntin' you
♪ We're wantin' to
♪ Gonna get your body shakin'
♪ Wishin' you could just awaken
♪ Here we go
Huh, I guess the formula
wasn't permanent.
Chyna must have left out the
most evil ingredient of all.
High-fructose corn syrup.
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you!
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ If you're only dreaming,
♪ Why I hear you screaming?
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ We're comin' to get you ♪
Hey!
Okay, you may not like my song
but you don't have to hiss.
Oh, okay, it was just you guys.
Oh, no.
It's the cops!
We'll never outrun
that motorcycle!
Have there been complaints
about too much noise?
No. But there have been
complaints about too much candy.
I'm going to have
to confiscate this.
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance! ♪
No, don't.
Do not go in the basement!
He went in the basement.
See? Nothing good ever
happens in the basement.
Wow. You guys are
not easily scared.
Wow, Cameron. She
was an airhead,
you weren't kidding.
look at this place!
Lockers instead of coffins,
classrooms instead of cages.
Him instead of...
What was I talking about?
Dad, does she have to
go to my high school?
Seriously, she's creepy.
It's not Chyna's fault
she's a monster.
It's your mom's fault.
When I met her, I thought
she was wearing a costume.
I didn't know she was a monster
till after we were married.
Which actually happens
to a lot of guys.
Well, I don't want Chyna anywhere
near me with her disgusting...
Chyna, how many times
have I told you
not to turn your
brother to stone?
Hi, I'm Gibson. Hi.
Welcome to the Mutant Farm!
I love doing that.
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
Whoo!
♪ Everybody's got that thing
♪ Something different
we all bring
♪ Don't you let 'em
clip your wings
♪ You got it You got it
♪ We're on fire and we blaze
♪ In extraordinary ways
♪ 365 days
♪ We got it We got it
♪ You can dream it
♪ You can be it
♪ If you can feel it
♪ You can believe it
♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
So, all these kids are monsters?
Yes. Like you, each student in
the Mutant Program is a freak.
Alex is a skeleton.
He should stop exercising.
He's down to 0% body fat.
Angus is a zombie.
Do I have guidance counselor
stuck in my teeth?
And then there's Svetlana.
Where is Svetlana?
That's it. You're grounded.
Give me your broom.
Ugh! How is that punishing him?
Uh, I don't mean
to alarm anyone,
but that kid has a dead body.
Oh, that's Fletcher. He
collects dead bodies.
Is this your coffin?
It's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
I mean, your coffin
is beautiful.
I don't have a coffin. I
sleep in a snake pit.
I know, but, you see, I...
Hi. I'm Olive Doyle,
mad scientist.
You know, I could get
you one of these hats.
Why would I want
to hide my brain?
Brains!
Do they come in pink?
You can go right
over there, bud.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
working on an evil formula.
What's in it?
Methyl glucose ether, sodium
hydroxide, tartaric acid,
sulfate copolymer, polyquaternium
10, and high-fructose corn syrup.
That stuff's in everything.
Now, this will turn
that skunk into a hunk.
A hunk of what? That's Gibson.
Oh, thank goodness I'm
not a skunk anymore.
Ugh! Ugh!
Man, what's that smell?
Oh, I just farted.
Halloween dance?
I don't understand why we have to
celebrate this stupid holiday.
I mean, it's Halloween
every day around here.
Speaking of which, how much
time do we have before...
Run!
Brains!
Brains!
This arm looks a little dry.
Does anyone have any
ranch dressing?
Or moisturizer?
What's with the evil laugh?
Evil laugh? That's
my regular laugh.
This is my evil laugh.
Tee-hee-hee!
Oh, look, they're
serving Sloppy Joe.
Hey, Joe.
Help!
I'll be there as fast as I can!
Angus ate the entire
basketball team!
Well, I couldn't eat
the track team.
They're too hard to catch.
You have to do
something about this.
Angus ate my prom date.
And my boyfriend.
And the guy I like.
Oh, come on. There's no
reason we can't be friends.
You'd like us if you
got to know us.
Maybe this revolting
creature is on to something.
We'll have a buddy system.
Every mutant will be
paired with a non-mutant.
You guys can work together to
prepare for the Halloween dance.
What?
What?
That is a great idea!
We can choose our buddies by
drawing names out of my hat.
No!
No!
I'll just pair you up right now.
Chyna, you're with Lexi.
Olive, you're with Paisley.
Fletcher, you're with Cameron.
And you...
Well, you're good.
Look at these offensive
decorations.
I mean, spider webs?
Just because we're monsters doesn't
mean we don't keep a tidy home.
Look at the size of this orange!
It's hard to peel.
You know, I could hook you up to a
machine that could make you smarter.
Okay.
It might melt your insides.
Okay.
I'll make you smarter
by switching your brain
with one from a far
more intelligent being.
Do you really think this will...
Okay, we're in charge
of games for the dance.
I was thinking bobbing
for eyeballs?
Musical electric chairs?
Truth or death?
Don't look at me! I don't
want to turn to stone!
I'd instantly gain
like 2,000 pounds.
Okay, well, how about
hide and shriek?
Okay, you win. Let's play again.
So, let's talk refreshments. What
should we serve at the dance?
How about
garlic?
That's just a myth.
Vampires aren't
afraid of garlic.
In fact, we love it.
Sauteed over blood sausage?
To die for.
Okay, in that case,
why don't we serve
stake?
That doesn't work either.
If you want to damage
my heart with a stake,
make it a fatty porterhouse.
All right.
How about for drinks we serve
holy water?
Seriously, dude.
Hey, Angus!
How are you and your buddy
doing with ticket sales?
Good.
Where is your buddy?
He's not feeling well.
Angus, did you eat your buddy?
Not all of him.
There's some left over
in this tinfoil swan.
Wow. The gym looks great!
And see? Nobody got hurt.
That's true. Good point.
I feel fine.
And we all did it together.
Lexi suggested instead of
eyeballs, we bob for apples.
And I've got to say apples
are just not as sweet.
You know, maybe we'll actually
have fun at this party.
I can't wait to hit
the dance floor.
I'm going to do
the Frankenstein!
Oh, no, don't do that. It's
culturally insensitive.
Not all monsters
dance like that.
Besides, you're not going to the dance.
It's monsters only.
What? Why can't they come?
Sorry. It's Mutant
Council policy.
"No humans are allowed
to the Halloween dance,
"unless already in
Angus' stomach."
Who wants to be my plus one?
That's not fair. We
did all that work.
Yeah.
This really ruffles my feathers.
Hey, Dad.
I see you finally had
your growth spurt.
It's a Halloween costume.
Halloween's stupid.
Like candy corn.
Doesn't look like corn!
Doesn't taste like corn!
You can't pop it in the microwave!
I tried!
Hey, where are you going
dressed like that?
Trick or treating.
Since Chyna and the other mutants
won't let us go to the dance.
No way. It's not safe for
you to be out on Halloween.
That's not fair. You
let Chyna go out.
You let her do
anything she wants.
Because I'm scared of her.
She's got snakes for hair, man!
Hey. Sorry I'm late. I
had to stop at the bank.
Oh, look! I just got
a text from Satan.
"See you soon."
We're going bowling on Saturday.
What? Satan and I are supposed
to go rollerblading on Saturday.
Aw! You cannot trust that guy!
You know, I still feel bad
for the regular kids.
They really wanted to be here.
Boo-hoo. Poor beautiful,
undeformed humans.
Just think about how
they must feel,
being scared in
their own school.
If only we could walk a
mile in their shoes.
What? That's crazy. Walk a mile?
No one can walk a mile.
Would you stop worrying
about the normal kids?
Come on. Just relax
and have some punch.
There's eye of newt in it.
Sorry, Newt.
How can I get through to them?
The punch!
This should give
the punch a kick.
Ooh, trick or treaters.
Help yourself to some candy.
Cameron, it's us.
Lexi and Paisley.
Paisley? Did Olive
switch you back?
Yeah. I didn't want to,
but the duck insisted.
Ooh! Good, you're in costume.
A bunch of us humans are going
to sneak into the dance
dressed as mutants.
Hey! What's going on here?
You're not going out, are you?
No, these are friends
from school,
here to watch a horror movie
and it's more fun
when you dress up.
If we're going to watch a movie,
can you cut me bigger eye holes?
Well, a movie sounds fun!
I'll join you! Let
me get my costume!
Great. Now we're stuck here.
Not necessarily.
These sculptures are so realistic!
They look just like us!
Now let's go get our party on!
Check out this policeman
costume I bought
with money I made at
my policeman job.
All right, kids! Let's
watch that movie!
Vroom! Vroom!
Okay, everyone act natural.
I mean, unnatural.
The bride of Frankenstein, huh?
Hey, Frank, mind if I
dance with your wife?
Hey, baby. What's
your blood type?
Oh. I'm not positive.
Dang. I'm so in the
mood for O positive!
Okay, everybody, gather round.
I would like to propose a toast.
To life!
And death.
Wow. Good stuff.
What's happening to me?
I'm beautiful!
I have a reflection!
I used your lab to whip up a formula
that makes monsters look human.
And we all just drank it.
This way you can
see for yourself
that it's not so
easy to be human.
How come they didn't change?
They're drinking the punch.
Uh, no we're not.
Cameron?
You guys crashed our dance?
I will now feast on your blood!
Tee-hee-hee!
You don't have fangs.
But you do have some baby teeth.
Look, there's no reason monsters
and humans can't get along.
Can't you see we're all
the same underneath?
Oh, a jack-o-lantern!
Let's light it!
Fire bad!
Great. The DJ left!
This party's dead and so am I.
Well, at least I was
before you turned me into
a human.
Yeah. Let's go, you guys.
Hey, wait!
If you guys want music, I
can perform something.
What are you going to do?
Play some creepy organ?
There are organs? I didn't
see any at the snack table!
Hey! Don't take that. Not the spleen!
Not the spleen!
Actually, Lexi, I was thinking
I could sing a little.
♪ Callin' all the monsters!
Callin' all the monsters!
♪ Callin' all I'm callin' all
I'm callin' all the monsters!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh!
♪ Oh, yeah! Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
♪ Heart thumps And you jump
♪ Comin' down with goosebumps
♪ You dared to go there
♪ I'm-a, I'm-a get you so scared
♪ We're wantin' to
We're hauntin' you
♪ We're wantin' to
♪ You stayed and too late
to be getting afraid
♪ This scene extreme
I'm-a get you so scared
♪ We're wantin' to
We're hauntin' you
♪ We're wantin' to
♪ Gonna get your body shakin'
♪ Wishin' you could just awaken
♪ Here we go
Huh, I guess the formula
wasn't permanent.
Chyna must have left out the
most evil ingredient of all.
High-fructose corn syrup.
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you!
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ If you're only dreaming,
♪ Why I hear you screaming?
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ We're comin' to get you ♪
Hey!
Okay, you may not like my song
but you don't have to hiss.
Oh, okay, it was just you guys.
Oh, no.
It's the cops!
We'll never outrun
that motorcycle!
Have there been complaints
about too much noise?
No. But there have been
complaints about too much candy.
I'm going to have
to confiscate this.
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance!
♪ We're comin' to get you
♪ Tonight all the
monsters gonna dance! ♪
No, don't.
Do not go in the basement!
He went in the basement.
See? Nothing good ever
happens in the basement.
Wow. You guys are
not easily scared.
Wow, Cameron. She
was an airhead,
you weren't kidding.