7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 6, Episode 17 - Lip Service - full transcript

Level-headed Robbie is the only one intentionally left home to baby sit the twins when the Camdens accept a first dinner invitation at humorist rabbi Glass's home. Mary beats Lucy to the punch faking illness so she can escape the event and try seducing Robbie, albeit in vain as he's loyal to Joy. Simon brings along his half-Jewish mate Morris, who fails miserably as good example for Matt and Sara as he hasn't got a clue about sabbath or other Jewish traditions. Yet Eric is the one to lose it completely when told Matt considers converting, but they all end up making up during a synagogue service.

I've got a good idea
for the dinner

at my parents' house tonight.

What's that?

Let's not go.

We have to go.


Just because your
parents are meeting

my parents
for the first time?

We already know everyone.

Let's stay home.

I can't take the tension.

It's just a dinner.
We'll eat a little.

We'll talk a little
and everyone will go home

with a few stains on their
shirts, it's no big deal.

It is and you know it.

This is the dinner.

It'll set the tone
for the relationship

between our families
for the rest of our lives.

I'm sure every couple
goes through this.

We're different.

We've got a lot
going against us.

First of all,
we're already married.

So let's tell them
and get it over with

before Ruthie tells them,
then we can relax.

That won't make me relax.

It'll make me relax

and then we can act like

I'll be a lot more relaxed.

we've got bigger problems

than lying about being married

and sharing
that lie with Ruthie.

Your father's a minister,
and mine's a rabbi.

Both men of the cloth.

Way different fabrics.

And this is a Friday night
Sabbath dinner,

which somehow
makes everything more...

I don't know, just more.

The one thing I had
to get was chicken fat.

The one thing I asked you

to remind me
to get was chicken fat.

And what happens?

I forget the chicken fat.

Now, how am I
supposed to make kugel

without chicken fat?
Someone tell me that, please.

Oy vey.

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see
their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's
no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world
don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place
that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

Oh, good, Ruthie, come here.

I need you to taste something.

What is it?

Uh, kasha varnishkes.

Um, maybe some other time.

Come on Ruthie,
I need you to try it.

Isn't there a rule
if you can't say it,

you don't have to eat it?

It's just roasted buckwheat
and noodles.

It don't sound
much better in English.


Too salty?

It's too "oniony"?


I don't know.

What's it supposed
to taste like?

I'm not sure.

Why are you cooking
all this food anyway?

Isn't Sarah's mother
cooking anything?

Oh, of course she is.

I just thought it'd be
a nice gesture, you know,

to cook something
for tonight's Shabbat dinner.

What's Shabbat?

Shabbat is Hebrew
for the "Sabbath."

And since I've never cooked
this kind of food before,

I thought I'd experiment
with a few different things.

I'll probably only bring one
or two dishes.

Or maybe not.

Mom, that thing,
the "K" thing.

It was...

not bad, really.

Yeah, I think.

Good. Well, then
that'll be one dish.

Okay, now...

Do me a favor, I need you

to try kugel.

I have to go.

I forgot to do something.


I can't remember right now.

Another inevitable sign
of the aging process.

But sometimes

if I start walking,
whatever it is

just pulls me to it.

I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.

It's not the kitchen
you once knew.

What are you talking about?

Mom, she's really
going overboard

for this dinner tonight
at Sarah's parents' house.

You're lucky.
You get to stay home

and baby-sit the twins.

You'll have a good time.

Really? Why?
Are you kidding?

Getting to see two families
meeting for the first time?

You'll get to observe
the relationships,

the interaction, body language.

You'll be like
a reporter

with a front seat
to history.

I'd rather have a seat in front

of the TV., plus,

it's a Shabbat dinner,
that means "Sabbath."

So it'll probably be
extra serious.
That's even better.

Getting to experience
an authentic Jewish dinner?

Observing another culture
first hand?

Look at it like
you're a young Margaret Mead.

Like I don't already know

more about human nature
than Margaret Mead?

I'm half-Jewish.

So I should
invite you to meet

my brother's
fiancée's family?

You should invite me

because my folks
are out of town,

the fridge is totally empty,

and it's Friday night.

And Meagan broke our date
because no one likes me

since I took you
to that party.

And I'm in the mood
for some good Jewish cooking.

Actually any cooking.

You're really half-Jewish?

Yeah, my mother's Jewish
and my father's Protestant.

Does Sarah have sisters?


So I'll go anyway.

You owe me.


So how's it going?
"How's it going?"

Huh? I got

oversalted kugel.
It tastes like

the Red Sea when you bite

into it,
I got watery

noodle pudding,

my kasha varnishkes are sticking

to the bottom
of the pot,

and Mrs. Kaplan's honey cake

in the oven looks like
someone sat on it.

Maybe Mrs. Kaplan.

Why are you going overboard?

They invited us,
the rabbi and Mrs. Glass.

And we're going.
What's the problem?
But we didn't

invite them;
I was going to invite them,

but they invited us first.

Somebody has to invite
somebody first.

Yeah, but I wanted
that somebody to be us.

Otherwise, they might
think that we're

or worse, that we have

a problem with their religion.

Which is the last thing I want
Matt's future in-laws to think.

That's why you're doing
all this?

Yeah, that's why

I'm destroying our kitchen,

cooking food I have no idea
how to cook.

All I had to do
was invite them first

and I would have
home food advantage.

Somehow I have got to get
out of this dinner tonight.

Stay home with Robbie.

You think I could?

Oh, man.

I knew it.

It's just that when two people
break up, sometimes...

it's not totally clean.

Sometimes there's
unfinished business.

And this will be a good time

for Robbie and me
to clean it up.

That's not all
there is to it.

You need to have a reason
to stay at home with Robbie.

A reason you can say out loud
to Mom and Dad.

Well, help me.
What are kids doing

these days to get out of school?

Has anyone come up
with new stuff?

Ways to fake fevers?

Trick thermometers?

Reddening throat techniques?

Anything new out there?

Same old stuff.

Although Talia Stepka

ate a caterpillar last week
to get out of P.E.,

but she didn't throw up

until two periods later
in computer lab.

So the timing still
has to be worked out.

Watch this.


Well, what?

That was a faint.
I think I'll try that.

Nobody argues with a fainter.

I think it needs work.

You look sleepy, not "fainty."



I'm not sure.

Maybe if I crack my head
against the wall.

Are you sure you haven't
already done that?

Hmm, let me think about that.


I mean the last thing
we need tonight,

is one of your goofy friends.

It's kind of a delicate
situation, Simon.

I'm not sure if it's
the best time.

Sure, I understand.
I just thought, you know,

with Morris being half-Jewish
and everything,

it might actually
be of some help.

He's a good student.

He's honest, responsible.

Kind of an example that mixed
marriages actually work,

but don't worry about it.
Wait, uh...

it's not the worst idea
I ever heard,

and it's better than telling
them that a lack of frustration

will allow us
to focus on our studies.

And my folks wouldn't mind.

Besides, my father
loves a big audience.

If he could fit a crowd
into the bathroom

to watch him shave,
he would.


Good idea, Simon.
I mean, we could use

all the help
we can get, thanks.

You're welcome.

Now, if the twins won't eat,
you can switch their foods.

Sometimes that
works, and you have

our phone number in
case anything comes up.

Uh, don't worry,
everything will be fine.

Have a good time.

Is it hot in here?

I'm feeling a little weird.

The honey cake,
I forgot the honey cake!

I got the honey cake.
No, that's the kugel.

No, Mom, I have
the honey cake.

Oh, okay.

Oh, and Morris is
meeting us there.


Well, because Matt
and Sarah invited him.

He's half-Jewish.

Where's Mary? Mary!

Oh, I feel so strange.

What's wrong?
Why aren't you ready?

I'm sorry, I just
laid down for a nap,

and now my head hurts
and my stomach's queasy.

I don't know what hit me.

I'm sorry, I'll just,

I'll just be a few
minutes Mom.

Did you talk to her?

I didn't talk to her.

She probably saw you rehearsing.


You don't feel warm,

but you're obviously
coming down with something.

You better go back to bed,

But what about dinner?

She can't stay here.

Robbie is staying here.


Robbie can take care of you
if you need anything.

Yeah, I guess. Okay.

Have a good time...


Okay, I don't know what's

going on, although
I could guess,

but, you know,
the kugel's getting cold.

And you know how I hate
cold kugel.

So shall we?


Sometimes simple is better.

Blessed art Thou,

oh Lord, our God,
King of the universe,

who has sanctified us
by Thy commandments

and commanded us to
kindle the Sabbath lights.

Okay, now,

as we're getting closer
to the moment of truth,

which I like to call dinner,

I would like

to do the kiddush,
which is the blessing

over the wine,
which symbolizes life and joy,

and for those of you
who have fruit juice

in front of you, it
symbolizes that you're just

not old enough to drink.

Boruch atoh adonoy

elohenu melech hololom
bore peri ha gafen.

Blessed art Thou,

oh Lord, our God,
King of the universe,

Creator of the fruit
of the vine.

And now we all can take
a little sip, please.

Very nice sipping, by the way.

You know, you guys have sipped
before, I can tell.


we do the Motzi.

Boruch atoh adonoy
elohenu melech ho-olom

ha motizi lechem mene ha aretz.

Blessed art Thou,
oh Lord, our God,

King of the universe,
who bringest forth

bread from the earth.


Annie, just take
a little piece

of this challah
and pass it down,

and everybody do the same thing
and then take a bite.

'Cause now the moment has come
that you've been waiting for--

the moment when
I can tell you

how my grandfather came
to this country.

Oh, no,

honey, I-I swear, I re--

I've gotten this down
to a tight 90 minutes.

Grandpa Max

was born
in a little village in Kiev.

One day he decides
to walk across Europe.

What a meshuggener.
Can you imagine this?

He was a little guy
and he had tiny little steps.

It took him, like, six months

just to get to, like, you know,
Poland, you know?

He does this every time
we have company.

All right,

I'm kidding.

Grandpa was born
in Coney Island.

Shabbat Shalom, everybody.

Let's eat.

Nibble on the challah,

I'll be right back
with the soup.

Oh, I'll help you, Rosina.

Oh, no, you're
a guest.

Sarah will help me.

No, really, I'd like...

just sit, please.

It's okay,

we got it covered.

Maybe I should faint
right here.

That'll just get you an
ambulance ride and a CAT scan.

Rabbi, I want to thank you
and Mrs. Glass for inviting me.

I know
this was a family thing

and it's nice of everyone
to have me along.

It's our pleasure, Morris.

You know,
Simon tells me

that Morris here-- a
terrific kid, good student--

is actually half Jewish.

His mother's Jewish and
his father's Protestant.

A good combination.

Wow, really?

Does your family do
Shabbat dinner?

Not, not really.

I used to do it
when I was a kid

at my grandfather's house,
but, um...

we did things a little
differently, like with candles.

He lit

maybe a dozen or so.

No, Morris, I think
you're thinking

about Hanukkah,
the Festival of Lights,

where they add
an additional candle

each night for eight nights.

You know, don't beat
yourself up over it.

You were close;
it's the same religion.


Well, it was
a while ago.


it's nice to be here
at your Seder.

Another swing and a miss.

You know, I think you're
referring to Passover, Morris,

the, the
Passover Seder.


I-I mean, the Passover
Seder-- that's interesting.

Well, what about the one

where you put on the costumes
and the masks?

That's Halloween.

No, it's Purim.

Kids dress up for Purim,
just like Halloween.

I got to tell you something,
you know, Judaism is really

very confusing,
even, even for Jews, really.

I mean, every family

does Shabbat

For openers,
we have orthodox,

conservative, and, and reform,
which my congregation,

you know,
leans toward.

This house is reform

and most reform houses
don't keep kosher,

but because my darling wife

was raised that way,
we observe it.

Uh, and by the way, if any
of you have any questions,

I would be happy
to answer any of them.

And, Morris,

you can relax.

I'll take the first few.

I have one.

Why did Mrs. Glass
cover her eyes

when she was
lighting the candles?

Isn't that a good question?

there's actually

a few reasons,

but one is that it helps her
focus her devotion.

You didn't cover your eyes
when you said a blessing.

I'm a professional.

Any other questions?


What is it
with this circumcision thing?

Annie, i-it's okay.

No, i-it's always a good time
for knowledge.

By the way, Ruthie, you
should know that circumcision

isn't only done

by, by Jews, but for Jews
it's called a bris,

and, um, it came
from a covenant,

a promise that Abraham made
with God, uh, to show that he

and his descendants
would continue

to honor Him through Judaism.

I just wonder what
made him think of that.


Oh, saved by Williams.
He kicks it out.

They're working the puck in
front of the net.

Crashed the net...

and they're behind the net now.

They're fighting for it...




I guess you're
feeling better.


I think it was just
one of those 24-minute bugs.

What are you doing?

Just watching some hockey.

The twins are asleep.

I can't tell if they were tired
or they just got bored of me.

Mind if I watch the game
with you?

Um, maybe you shouldn't.

Why do you look so worried?

It's not like there's
anything going on between us.

But if you'd rather
be alone, then...

No, no, no, no,
no, it's okay.

Have a seat.


This food is

How do you get your pot roast
so tender and moist?

It's brisket, but thank you.

I don't even think
I have room,

but I'm
going to try

a little bit of,
uh, Annie's kugel.

Uh, well, you don't have to.

It's probably
way too salty.

Maybe you
shouldn't, Richard.

Your blood pressure.
I have never met

a kugel that I didn't like,
and you know that.

And, look, I'm do--
I'm gonna have a little piece.

What, what,
it's going to kill me?


Whoa, whoa.



This is fantastic.

I-I give this
five menorahs.

I'm not kid--
this is, this is unbeliev--

Hey, will you-- do you mind?

Can I have some fun
every now and then?

She knows all of my routines.

It's going to be so
great having Matt

in the family.

You know, I can bring back
all my old material?

I'm looking
forward to it.

That's what you think.

Don't get him started
or he might try

for open mic night
at the Wailing Wall.

It isn't fair.

She's home with Robbie
and I'm here getting fat.

I can't take it.

Excuse me,
Rabbi Glass.

Could I use
your telephone?

It's kind of important.

Is everything okay, Lucy?
Everything's fine.

It's just an important
personal thing.

Rabbi Glass,
isn't it forbidden

to use the telephone
on Shabbat?

I'm just trying to get
a handle on everything.

It's a good question.

You know, most
orthodox Jews,

uh, they try to avoid aspects
of the outside world

because, from their perspective,

they think it sort of intrudes
on the Sabbath.

They stay away
from, like, phones

and TVs and cars and
handling of money,

that sort of thing, but
many modern Jews like myself,

we, uh, we have a more
of an easygoing attitude.

So the answer
to the question is, uh,

hey, yeah, you know,
you can use the phone, Lucy,

and, and take it in my study.

Thank you.

What's wrong, honey?


It's, it's wonderful.

Mmm, best kugel
I ever had.

You've had kugel?

Uh, no.

You are so...
I know.

I know.

A lot of action in front
of the net...


No, thanks,
uh, we already have

home delivery of a newspaper.

Don't give me that.

I'm just calling to let you know

that I know exactly
what you did and why.

No, really, we're very
happy with our newspaper.

It has exactly the kind
of news we like to read.

I'm gonna go
check on the twins.

For you to fake a sickness,

just so you could stay home
with Robbie

is totally despicable.

I bet you're in there right now
getting him

to put a cold rag
on your fake, hot head!

Oh, please,
we're just sitting around.

I bet.

Okay, you caught us.

We're talking,

listening to some music.

Sometimes, we get up and dance.

Slow, real slow.

But nothing's going on.

You lie, I know it.

I hope the twins wake up
and bear witness

to whatever evil it is
you're doing on this--

the Sabbath.

It's not the Sabbath.

The Jewish Sabbath!

Don't you know anything?

Hey, look who's up and wants
to hang out with us.


I'm only half-Jewish,

but I still follow many
of the precepts of Judaism.

For example, at a ballgame,

I always order
the kosher hot dog.

Okay, it's usually
more expensive,

but what's a quarter to help
support your religion, huh?

Thank you Rabbi Glass
for letting me use your study.

Um, do you think

I can use your phone,
too, Rabbi?

Actually Morris and I,

we need to change
some plans.

Yeah, go right ahead.

Thank you.


how tall are you these days?

Hey, were you so desperate
to get a free meal

that you had to lie
about being part Jewish?

I-I am part Jewish.

I'm more Jewish,
and I'm not Jewish!

You're gonna get us both killed
if you don't stop talking

about things
you know nothing about.

Well, maybe I used to know more.


Great. Good, because
you're supposed

to be a good example
of mixed marriages!

And after tonight, they might
ban marriages of all kinds.

Well, I didn't know I was here
as some kind of exhibit.

Well, of
course we're...

We'll both finish
medical school.

We-We think it'll be
easier because...

Because nothing.

Well, be-because we...
we have each other.

We-We can focus
on our studies.

Yeah, that's logical.

A marriage brings
certain pressures.

It requires energy and work.

Marriage can be very hard
to balance when pursuing

an education
or a career,

especially in the first
couple of years.

First couple of years

of a marriage can be
completely distracting. I...

Don't you agree, Richard?

It's still

I-I don't know.
Last week when my darling

wore her Manola
Blahniks-- whoa--

my yarmulke kept popping off
my head every five minutes.

Spike heels.

On the O list,
Oprah's magazine.

I'm a voracious reader.

I-I keep up
with this style stuff.

Dad, I think you're
not considering some of

the positives of
our getting married
and going to school.

Okay, maybe I haven't.

Everyone knows how insanely hard
medical school is,

but we have our own built-in
support system 24-seven.

I mean, if one of us
has a problem,

the other one's
right there to help.
Right there.

That's a good point.

Hey, you know,
Matt, maybe

you should have married my
daughter in high school, really.

Particularly during freshman
algebra. Remember it, darling?

It gave you such fits,
you started breaking out

with those isosceles triangles
on your face?

You know,
Richard, I admire

your ability to handle this

momentous event

in our lives so well. I...

I guess I'm still coming
to terms with it.


to be really honest, you know,
when, um, our daughter told us

that she was gonna marry

Matt, Rosina and I
were really thrown.

And believe me,
my wife is not

easily thrown.

I mean, she's more like, uh,
you know, Mary Sunshine.

You know,
like the eternal optimist.

I mean, all we could
see were the pitfalls

lying ahead
of these two kids, you know.

Until the idea of converting
was put on the table,

and then everything made,
you know, much more sense.

I mean, you know,
we felt, you know, a lot better.

I mean, I felt a lot better.

I didn't realize.

I didn't know
Sarah is considering converting.

Um, well, not ex...
exactly Sarah, Dad.

We're-We're just
exploring the idea.

I-I'm exploring.


You know,

considering it,
discussing it.

Discussing it with whom?

Not with us?

Look, I was gonna talk

to you and Dad about it.

I was just looking
for the right time.

Do you think
that this here, now,

is the right time
for your father and me to...?

Eric, are you okay?




Yeah, I'm fine.

You-You don't look fine.

No, really, I'm fine.

Rosina, this dish...

is sensational.

What do you call it?



does this mean that
you're going to have
to get circumcised?

Ru-Ruthie, I...


Well, it's none
of your business.

Could I use the phone
again, Rabbi?

Please do.

And I pray you use
the speakerphone,

'cause I think we all can use
a little distraction.

Maybe I can make the call
for you.


Evidently not.

Anyone here need a... a phone?

You know, we have two lines
here at the house.

Rest room? Closet?

And by the way,
we happen to have,

uh, two emergency exits.

You know, in
case you...

you have the need to flee.

I, uh, of course can't flee.

I live here.


Okay, I really didn't
want to watch TV.

I... I want to talk.




Yes, us.

I still feel like we have
some unfinished business.

There isn't an us.

There's a me, and
there's a you, but no us.

Nothing unfinished.


If you continue
to take advantage

of this unfair situation,

you could do permanent harm
to our relationship.

Think before you respond.

Ma'am, if you continue
to hound us

with these high-pressure
soliciting tactics,

I'm gonna have
to call your boss,

the Solicitor General.

You could lose your job!

Dad, nothing officially
has been decided yet.

There's still
a long way to go.

Rosina and I both,

you know, assumed
that you knew that, you know,

this was under consideration,
but we certainly

didn't intend to,
like, surprise you,



He seems to be,
uh, in a trance

over his salad bowl.

What-What... What is this?

Excuse me, everyone.

Um, something has come up,
and I have to go.

I'm really
very sorry.

Uh, Matt,

do you think
I could use your car,

and maybe you could go home
with Mom and Dad?


Uh, Morris could drop us off.

Oh, that's fine. Listen,

uh, Lucy, Simon, we've
really enjoyed meeting you.

Good night.

And Morris.

Well, okay.

All righty.

All right.

Enough, okay?

Enough tiptoeing
around a very serious subject.

A big mistake is

being made
by two young people here,

and no one wants
to talk about it.

Dad I told you, we're
definitely gonna complete...

I know,

you told me all about
the-the buddy system

approach to medical school,

but there's
a bigger problem here.

It's the problem
of a person who thinks

that they can change
who they are.

As if changing
religions is
as simple as

changing shirts.

Dad, I know it's...

Long sleeves, short sleeves.

Plaid or striped.

It's only a shirt.

You don't need
to discuss a shirt

with those close to you.

you'll just wear another one!

Of course I was gonna
discuss it with you.

I was just looking
for the right time.

And when would that be,
at the...

at the bris of your firstborn?

Um, honey, I think
we should discuss this at home.

I apologize if I'm making anyone

but I guess I'm

with this one basic question.

I don't know. Maybe
you can clarify it.

For 21 years,

you had this one
abiding concept in your life.


And now, you take one bite
of kugel,

and suddenly, no Jesus?

It's not even
Jewish kugel.

It's good, old-fashioned
Wasp kugel!

I have a suggestion.

Why don't we just
take a collective

breath, and maybe
move into the,

uh, living room, and have
a little cake and coffee,


And then I'm gonna
invite everyone

to take a nice little walk
around the block

to my temple
for the Oneg Shabbat,

which is a very casual,
very short service.

After which

you will then be served
some more cake and coffee.

Of course, uh,
it's not mandatory

for you, but as the rabbi...

I'm expected.

It's a good idea. Let's all go
into the living room.

You're not being

You know,

I've never seen
you like this, Dad.

You're not
being yourself.

Oh? I think I am myself.

I think you're the one

whose trying
to be someone he's not.


you're my son.

I know who you are
and who you're not.

And one thing
you're not is a Jew.

Uh, wait a second. I...

Oh, I didn't mean it
to sound like that.

I just meant that
some people are Jewish,

and some aren't.

And you're obviously not a Jew.

Why does that sound so bad?

You're not Jewish!

And that's all there is to it!

Annie, um,

you know

that kugel was so good.

How did you make it come out
so smooth?

Oh, why, thank you, Rosina.

I followed Mrs. Kaplan's

but I didn't have
any chicken fat,

so I used a-a few ounces
of cream.



Is something wrong?

It's just that
Jewish dietary rules

forbid the mixing of meat
and dairy at the same meal,

so technically,
the meal wasn't kosher,

but you didn't know.

It's not the end
of the world.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Are they sleeping?

Out cold.

I wanted to finish what
we were talking about before.

I don't think
I made myself clear.

Don't worry.

Robbie, I must be having
these feelings about you

for some reason.

Shh! Keep your voice down.


Voices, words,
that's the problem.

I say something
that just pops into my head.

You say something.

I mean, it's just talk
that means nothing.

So, maybe

we can try another approach

to see how we really feel
about each other.

It's okay.

This method
is way more accurate.

Practically scientific.

And a lot quieter.

Hey, guys!


What are you doing here?

I live here, remember?

Is everyone home already?

No, Morris dropped off
Simon and me.

So how was it?

You guys missed
an incredible dinner.

Sarah's parents are great.
The Rabbi's funny.

Matt's going to be Jewish.
Dad stopped breathing.

And the food
was great.

So, what's happening here?

Nothing. Just checking
on the twins,

watching the hockey game.

What, no slow dancing?

I saw a bit

of the game when I walked in.

It's going into overtime.

Why don't we go downstairs
and watch?

Robbie and me.

Not you.

You look terrible.

Well, I feel fine.

And I was watching the game
with Robbie.

So if anyone's going to be
watching overtime...

Yeah, I'll
get it.

Oh, you are so immature.

I'm immature?

Look at the way you're behaving.

You had him cornered

like you were
some hairy predator

on the Discovery Channel!


You bounce in here...


You want to talk about bouncing?

You're the one on the rebound.

We're both on the rebound.


Who's here?

I don't know.

The recording session was
supposed to go till midnight,

but we got lucky.

And got everything
in the first two takes.

So I thought
I'd surprise you.

You're one of life's
best surprises.

Oh great, the game
is still on.

Yeah, just went
into overtime.

Oh, terrific.
I love overtime.

It's so tense.

To tell you the truth,

this whole night has
been kind of tense.

I could use some

Is that relaxing?

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's that.


Do you want to stay
down here and spy

or just go to our
room and stew?



I'm so sorry for the kugel,

Oh, it's not
your fault.

It is my fault.

It, it was my fault

for going so far overboard
just to make a good impression.

I always tell
our children

to always be themselves.

And then here I am
trying to be Mrs. Kaplan

instead of Mrs. Camden?

And, and ruing your dinner
in the process.

You didn't ruin

And it's not the
end of the world.

To tell the truth, I
wasn't myself either.

Believe it or not,
I'm usually

a much friendlier person.

I'm the eternal optimist.

It's my job to not worry,

to balance out Richard and Sarah
worrying about everything.


tonight, something happened.

I happened.

You had nothing to do with it.

It happened when I saw
Sarah and Matt tonight.

This little girl,

who used to come to Shabbat
dinner as my daughter,

was there

about to be someone's wife.

And it felt like
I was losing her.

My only daughter.

Maybe that
sounds strange

to someone who has
such a big family.

You've got six more
when Matt leaves,

plus you got that other one.

It doesn't matter
how many kids you have.

When they leave,
a piece of you goes, too.

When my oldest
daughter Mary

moved out, I was devastated.

I thought I'd never be the same.

I'm sorry.

she's moved back home
and I'm still not the same,

but that's a whole other story.

I'll, I'll save it
for the next dinner

that I ruin, at our house.

I'll ruin that one, okay,

just to make you feel better.

Annie, I'm glad
you went overboard.

It makes me feel so good

to know that my daughter's
marrying someone

who has a mother who cares
enough to go overboard.

I haven't lost my balance
like that in a long time.

I'm sorry, Richard.

Hey, don't apologize.

You were blindsided.

Hey, you stepped off a curb,

you got hit by a
furniture truck.

It's amazing you're
still walking.

I feel like
such a hypocrite.

I've always told my children
as they get older,

they're going
to have to make

their own choices in life
and live with them.

So, Matt made a choice
and then I lost it.

Hey, you know, he's still
considering his choices.

Let's not forget that.

I understand, but,
you know, the point is

I have to do more
than pay lip service

to these things
I teach my children.

I mean, talk about not
practicing what you preach.

Hey Eric, you know,

between you and me,
uh, don't think

that I'm any pillar
of stability myself.

You know, I had my dark moments
when I found out

that Sarah was
marrying Matt.

But at least I
had the chance

to lose it in the, you know,

privacy of my own home,
you know.

These used to be round.

You know, they bounce a lot
better when they're round.

That's, that's a lot
of flat balls.

Oh, yeah.

About three dozen.


Look at this baby.

You know that

I won the YMHA over-40 singles
championship with this baby?

This used to be my
favorite racquet.

Yep, I can lose it
with the best of 'em.

Come in.

I, I need to talk.

Of course.
Hey listen,

let me just
No, that's okay, Rabbi.

I just want to get a few things
out in the open

and the, the more open
the better.

Dad, I was sitting out there
really feeling rotten

for everything
that happened tonight.

Matt, you don't have to...

let me finish.

The truth is I only have one
thing to feel rotten about,

and that's not coming
to you first

and discussing the possibility
of me converting to Judaism.

But it's still open

for discussion even though...

You know, Dad, I am madly
in love with a women

who shares my hopes and dreams
for a good life.

Not just for the two of us,
but for everyone.

And, and we each got
that same dream

from our two very different
families and from our two

very different

Yet, our, our families and
religions are not so different,

because we all share
the same moral principles.

We all want to love
and be loved.

We're all part of
the same life.

And if you can
believe that,

then you know
it'll all be okay.

Everything will be fine.

Is this where we same "Amen"?

I know that

my favorite congregation is
getting a little hungry,

but I also know
that most of you know,

that the words "Oneg Shabbat"
means Sabbath delight.

And that many of us
associate that

with the spirit of the Sabbath.

Some associate it

with Mrs. Zimmerman's
oatmeal raisin cookies.

And some with Mrs. Zimmerman.

But tonight,

is another delight.

For me, it's a personal one
and for my family.

It's the delight I had
in opening my home

to the Camdens.

I would like

to welcome my beautiful
daughter's fiancé,

Matt, and, uh,

a small portion of his wonderful
family to our service.

Eric, uh, you sure you don't
want to, uh, say a few words?

Really? That's, uh, you know, I,

I've never known of a minister
or certainly a rabbi

who didn't, uh, take the
opportunity, uh, to talk.



Ah, how nice.

Uh, well.

It's an honor.

Thank you, Rabbi.

I, I, I would like
to say just a, a few words.

I'd like you to know, uh,

how welcome you made us feel
in your home tonight.

And now here in the temple.

As my son pointed out
to me, even though

there are many differences
between our religions

there are also things
that unite us

that are universal and transcend

churches and temples
and faiths of all kind.

And, uh, one transcendent thing
that jumps to my mind right now

is love.

Love for family.

Love for friends.

And, uh, and the love
that two young people

feel who know

that together they can overcome
any obstacles

that life puts in their way.

And so, to you, Rabbi...

...and, Rosina,

and to all of you, let me
just say thank you...

...and Shabbat Shalom.

Shabbat Shalom.

That was very nice.

Thank you.

Well, that was, uh,
quite eloquent

and on that fitting note,
our service is concluded.

So now

we can make our way
in an orderly fashion, please,

back to the refreshment area.

So, Mrs. Zimmerman, get ready,
'cause we're ready for you.

And to quote, uh,
the Reverend,

Shabbat Shalom.

Shabbat Shalom.