7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 5, Episode 11 - Home - full transcript

A month later, perfect house guest Robbie is getting popular with most Camdens, except Annie who childishly splits hairs about his domestic input, meant to help her but making her feel ...

Robbie's making me eggs
with cheese and ham.

She didn't
want pancakes.

That's what everyone else ate.


Yeah. Lucy, Simon and Eric
all had pancakes.

Sam and David
had the usual--

What can I get for you?

Nothing. I'm just going
to have some fruit and coffee,

but I can get it,
seeing how you've made breakfast

for the rest of my family.

Uh... Matt called
when you were in the shower.

Sounded like he might come over.

What does he usually eat?

Anything that's not nailed down.


Is Matt supposed
to baby-sit or something?

Because, if that's the case,
I mean,

I'd be happy to step in
until Matt can get here.

No. I have no idea
why Matt's coming over.

But thank you for the offer.

Thanks for
making me

a special breakfast.

Well, you're
a very special girl.

Plus, I owe ya.

I've been in your room
for over a month now.

I don't mind.

That's why
you're so special.

If you weren't

to baby-sit
Sam and David,

who do you think
I could get to baby-sit?

Oh, I can baby-sit.

Well, you know,
just answer the question.

Um... Lucy?

Who else?


In an emergency,
anyone else?

Well, Ruthie's not old enough,
so I... Robbie?


Robbie never.

And you know why?

Robbie, is just
the "boarder."

You do not leave our
children with the "boarder."

Not the children
we created and
I gave birth to.

family members

and qualified
babysitters only.

Robbie is neither.

He is just a "boarder."

Robbie's not just
a boarder, is he?

He's just a boarder.

You need to find him a job
so he can find a place to live.

I'm working on it.
Even Robbie's working on it.

Well, work faster.

Is this about your dad?

Are you worried about him?

'Cause, if you're worried
about him, fly to Arizona.

Go and see him.

That's not it.

Okay. That's not it.

Why do you like Robbie so much?

I... Why do you
like him so little?

I bet you're not going
to like him so much

when Mary comes home.

Is our daughter coming home?
'Cause I wouldn't know.

She hasn't talked to me
since she left.

Well, she hasn't talked to me
since Robbie moved in.

She doesn't know
Robbie moved in.

Not unless he told her.

No, he hasn't told her.
She hasn't talked to him either.

If she finds out he's living
here, there's gonna be

hell to pay.
That's right. I said it. "Hell!"

So get him out!


Just tell me why...

Mary. Hey, how's it going?

How's it going?

I'll tell you how it's going.

I am... I'm freezing my buns off
in Buffalo

while my sister dates Robbie.

I knew that would happen.

Then why didn't you
do something about it?

I'm still your sister, you know.

Oh, well, that's nice to know,
after the way you left.

Oh, is that what this is about?

Everyone is trying
to get back at me.

No. No one is trying to get back
at you. We-We love you.

We miss you. We can't wait
till you're home again.

In fact, it would have been nice
if you came home for Christmas,

like Mom and Dad asked.

Well, I didn't have time
to come home.

Funny. They don't give time off

at the homeless shelter
during Christmas.

You don't have to yell at me.

I can't help it
if you had to work.

I can't help it
if Robbie's dating Lucy.

So you admit it! Aha!

Look, I don't know
how you found out,

but you're the one who told me,
so I'm not admitting anything.

But you're not trying
to deny it.

This is why you all wanted me
out of the house.

Because you knew that Lucy
is in love with Robbie.

How many times are you going
to let her get away with this?

Get away with what?
This is the first time

Lucy's ever stolen one
of your boyfriends, isn't it?

I don't know. Is it?

Who knows what happened
to Wilson or Jordan

or... who was the guy
that ran me over?

Oh. Michael Tonner.
I hear he's doing really well.

I didn't call to hear that.

Exactly why did you call?

I called to hear someone

say they're sorry
about Lucy and Robbie.

I'm sorry about Lucy and Robbie.

Then do something.

There's not much I can do

as long as he's still living
at the house.

Where you going?

I'm going home.

But you're coming back, right?

Sometime. Yes.

Well, I need you to be here
when I meet Priscilla's parents.

They're coming over before
we all go out to dinner.

I have no interest in
meeting Priscilla's parents.

Aren't you a little concerned

about meeting her parents
in this dump?

Well, aren't you the one

who said I shouldn't try
to impress them?

Be myself?
Well, this is where I live.

We live. And I didn't think
you'd actually take my advice

about Priscilla's parents,
since you

didn't take my advice about

My family needs me.

They need you all the time.

Tonight, I need you.

But I don't agree with
what you're doing.
I don't think you

and Priscilla know
each other well enough
to get married.

You know nothing about her.

Why did I even ask?

Why did I think that you could

set aside your personal opinion
for one night

and just be there for me?

Forget it.
I don't even want you here.

Just go home. And you can stay
there, for all I care.


Please, Ruthie, don't hang up.

I'll send you money.

How much?

Five dollars.

What do I have to do?

Give me information.

Ten. And I want the money first.

Don't be mad at me anymore,

I'm a long way from home,
and I miss you.


All right.
I'll do it on credit.

Thanks, Ruthie.
Hey, how are you anyway?

How's that new school?

Don't push it.

I'm not going to get over you
breaking up the family

for ten bucks and sappy talk.

Man, you are tough.

Okay, is Lucy dating Robbie?

He's not dating Lucy.

He would never date her.

She's not his type.

So he's just living
in the house?

Yeah, but if he keeps walking
around with his shirt off,

Mom and Dad aren't going to let
him live here much longer.


Hey, have you seen him
with his shirt off?

'Cause he's no Simon.

That guy works out!

He smells good, too.

And he's got really nice teeth.


What? You said
you wanted information.

Yes, I do.
What happened to Cheryl?

What happened to Robbie
and Cheryl getting married?

Well, he was supposed
to get married

because he was going
to have a baby with Cheryl.

But Cheryl lied.

There was never a baby.

So, no baby, no marriage,
no home.

Dad found him out on the street.

Of course, this is just what
I dug up on my own.

Is there anything specific
you want to know?

Yeah. Are you absolutely sure
he's not dating Lucy?


You'd tell me
if you were dating
Lucy, wouldn't you?

Yeah, I'd tell you.

Are those your real teeth?



Are you dating Robbie?

I am not now, nor would I ever,
date Robbie Palmer.



No reason.

No, no, no.

There has
to be a reason you asked.

There's a reason for everything.

Is there a reason
you're putting on makeup?

Yes. I like to look my best.

Is there a reason for that?

Yes. I'm hoping to attract guys.

But not Robbie?

No. Not Robbie.

You have a reason.

I know you have a reason!


I have to move back home.

Have to?

I have to protect the women.


That is the most ridiculous
excuse you've used yet.

What, are you fighting
with John again?

Did you know
that Robbie's dating Lucy?

Where did you get a crazy idea
like that?


Mary called you?


Is that why she hasn't called?

Because she thinks that
we're letting Lucy date Robbie?

That could be part of it.

And the other part would be...?

You didn't tell her that Robbie
is living here, did you?

I think she had already hung up.

Are you sure?

No. But I don't think
she cares about that.

She's upset that her sister's
dating her ex-boyfriend.

Lucy is not dating Robbie.

Here. I'll prove it to you.

i-is Lucy dating Robbie?

Nope. I talked to Mary and Lucy.

The whole thing
was a misunderstanding.

You talked to Mary?


And she just wanted to know

about Robbie and Lucy.

There's nothing to know.

Did you tell her
that Robbie is living here?

Matt told her.

Moving in again?

Yes. Don't you want me
to move back?

I think,
once kids are out of the house,

they should stay out.

I can be a big help around here,
you know.

Even if the women don't need
protecting, you know,

there's still plenty I could do.

Don't bet on it.

You know,
you're welcome to stay, but,

unfortunately, the inn is full.

You could share Ruthie's room
with Robbie,

or you could find Robbie a job,

or you could move back
to your apartment

and make up with John,

who really needs you
to be around

when he meets
Priscilla's parents.

Expecting a call?

Hoping someone will call.

Like Mary.

Or one of the many people

I've called on Robbie's behalf.

Just out of curiosity,
who would those people be?

Uh, I've called a doctor,
a lawyer...

An Indian Chief.

Everyone but.

Yeah, it's Saturday.

There's not much I can
do on a Saturday.

Besides, even when
I do find him a job,

it might take a week or two

for him to get a big enough
paycheck to move out.

I can live with a week or two.

I passed by the room

and saw the guys trying to
climb out of their beds.

They're officially up
from their naps.

If you don't watch out, my mom
will ask you to baby-sit.

I doubt it.

I sense she doesn't exactly
trust me that much.

Hey, I was wondering if we could
grab a pizza tonight and talk.

I need some financial advice.

Are you making fun of me?

Making fun of you how?

You seriously want me
to help you?

Aren't you good with money?


It's just...

no one around here
takes me seriously.

But, yeah, I'll help you.

What exactly do you need?

He needs to stop dating Lucy.

I'm not dating Lucy!

Where did you get a
crazy idea like that?

Or... an idea like that?

I'm not dating Lucy.

Mary says you are.

Why would Mary think
he's dating Lucy?

Because he is.
Mary said so.

You talked to Mary?

Yeah, yeah, I did, and this
character's dating Lucy.

I don't care if Ruthie
believes it or not.

He's not a character.

And I told you--

the whole thing was just

a misunderstanding.

What's going on?


Mary thinks we're dating.

We as in me and you, you and me?


You talked to Mary, too?

We're not dating.

I knew there was a reason.

Did anyone tell her
that Robbie moved in?

Okay, somebody better call Mary

and straighten this
whole thing out.

-I'll call her.
-I'll call her.

- I'll call her.
- I'll call her.

- I'll call her!
- I'll call her.

Maybe a neutral party
should call her.

I'll call her.

You don't have to call her.
She called me.

I've already
straightened it out.

Then... crisis over.

No one needs to tell
Mary anything.

If Mary wants to know something,
she'll call.

Where's everyone going?

I think they all
went to call Mary.

May I?

Hey, get off the phone.

I have to make
an emergency call.





Mary, is that you?

Come on, kid, talk to me.

Maybe some other time.

She knows he's living here,
doesn't she?

But now she also knows that
he's not dating Lucy.

Don't be surprised if she
never speaks to us again.

Thanks for letting me come over.

Everywhere else I go, I feel
like a third wheel.

I mean, John and Priscilla make
me feel like a stranger

in my own apartment.
I mean, what's that about?

A month and a half ago,
he meets this woman

and now he's getting married.

He's crazy.
He doesn't know her.

She could be a psycho who
marries young guys

then kills them.

Would she invite her parents
over to meet him first?

Uh, maybe, who knows?

John has no experience
with women

and won't listen to me.

No, I'm the voice of reason.

I'm the bad guy.

Sometimes it's just best
to stay away

and let these things resolve

I've tried that.

But, every time I go home to my
family, once again, third wheel.

You know, there was a time when
my brothers and sisters

admired me and respected me
so much

that nothing
could come between us.

Now, idiot boy moves in and
suddenly I'm out.

Lucy's falling in
love with him.

Ruthie wants him to be
her new big brother.

Simon thinks
he's his new best friend.

This is the only place
I really feel comfortable.

What did you say your name is?


Right. Thomas. Yeah, you know,
if it weren't for you

and Heather I don't know where
I'd be right now.

Do you mind if I make
myself a sandwich?

Go ahead.


Is it me or is he
a little needy?


What are you doing?

I borrowed some makeup.
You mind?

Yes I do, unless
you want to tell me

why you're putting makeup on.


Woman to woman, I'm in love.


Who's the lucky guy?

I'd rather not say.
Not right now, anyway.

Does he know?

I'm pretty sure he does.

And I'm pretty sure he feels
the same way about me.

Just pretty sure?

I was being modest.

He's in love with me.

Madly in love with me.


Are you going
to see him tonight?

Tonight, and hopefully every
night for the rest of my life.

I am very happy for you.

Now, let me help you
take my makeup off.

Don't worry so much.

My parents don't expect
a college student

to live in some high
priced fancy apartment.

You do.

You know that's
my aunt's apartment.

And it's just on loan till
she gets back from Europe.

And then I'm out.

They're going to love you.

You're a good man,
John Hamilton.

I just wish I hadn't
kicked Matt out.

So, go find out
where he is and go get him.

Because I don't think
you're going to be comfortable

unless he's here tonight.


Mary, it's Robbie.

What do you want?

I want to talk.

Somehow you got the impression
that I'm dating Lucy?

I wonder how that happened.

Maybe because

you are!

Look, Ruthie said she
straightened you out,

but maybe she didn't tell
you the whole story.

Hit the redial.

You are such a loser.

You have no idea how
much of a loser.

Oh, I think I do.

I was homeless.

Your dad offered
to let me live here.

Oh, that is so lame.

I beg your pardon.

You think I'm actually going to
believe that you were homeless

and my father let you live
in our house?

Lucy talked him into it, because
you're dating her.

Just tell the truth,
for once in your life.

Oh, well, I tried.

Are you a man or a mouse?
Try again.

I'm telling you the truth.

I was homeless
and your dad took me in.


Yes, really.
I'm telling you the truth.


So, tell me what happened.

It's not easy
to talk about.

Why don't you tell me what's
going on