7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 4, Episode 20 - Liar, Liar - full transcript

Eric is very proud when newspaper reporter Sam Robbins offers to cover his reverend's family. Despite warnings from the kids, the parents force all to collaborate, and but they end up ...

And they all lived

happily ever after.

Did you enjoy the story?


What makes a good story?

It sounds real, even
if it's just made up.

Excellent answer. What else?

It's fun to listen to.


You can learn something from it.

All excellent answers.

Well, this is Library Week,

and your teacher has asked me
to give you a little assignment.

I want each of you
to create a story

that you can tell
the rest of the class

here in the library tomorrow.

Just a short story.

No more than a couple
of minutes.

And I'm going to judge
which of the stories is best.

And the winner will have
his or her name

posted on the bulletin board

and receive a cash prize
of five dollars.

What story are
you gonna tell?
I don't know.

But lots of stuff happens

around my house.
It shouldn't be too hard.

Nothing happens
around my house.

At least nothing I'd
like to talk about.

Don't worry, I'm sure
you'll come up with something.

Just use your imagination.

It'd be a lot easier

if I could just use
your imagination.

I'm sure you'll come up
with something.

And if you don't,
I'll help you.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Sounds wonderful.

Okay, well, I'll look
forward to hearing from you.

All right.
Thank you for calling.

Yes! Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Annie, I'm home.


Guess what?

I knew there was a
"guess what" coming.

We're gonna be
featured in the family
section of the newspaper.

We? All of us?

Yes. All of us.

Sam Robbins called me today,
and, uh, you know

that section of the newspaper
where they feature a family?

Well, it's
going to be us.

Unless you don't want to do it.

No! No, of course
I want to do it.

Sam wants to take it
from the angle

of what it's like to be
part of a minister's family,

and he wants to show that we're
just regular family folks

just like anyone else, but,
you know, that kind of image...

just really helps draw
people into the church.



- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, Matt.

Hey, guess what?
We're going to be

featured in the Sunday
section of the paper.

Wa-- by "we" you
don't mean me, do you?

Well, yes, of course.
You are part of the family.

The part that doesn't
live there.

The part
that doesn't sleep here.

Why wouldn't you
want to do this?

I don't know--
because it's one of the perks

of being out on my own.

Uh, again, uh, because, perhaps,
I was too subtle.

You are not out on your own.

And even if you were, this is
great publicity for the church.

Yeah, that depends
on which way it goes.

It's going to go fine.

The newspaper could have
chosen any family

and minister in town--
they chose us.

Well, there's got
to be a reason.

Well, I'm sure there is.

Well, you might want to find out
what it is

because you know how
these reporters are.

You know, they have a way
of digging up family dirt.

We don't have any family dirt.
What family dirt?

I don't know
and I don't want to know.

And I don't want
anyone else to know either.

Well, do me a favor, just be
available when this guy calls,

and, like, answer
a few questions.

If that's what you want.

Yes, that's what I want.

Oh, the reporter's name
is Sam Robbins.

I called to talk to Mom.

Oh. Whoa.

Okay. Hi.

Hey, what's the best way

to get a bloodstain
out of a shirt?

Why? What happened?

You didn't get shot
or something?!

Yes, and my first concern
is my shirt.

That's not funny.

No, I've got a friend

here who took the Band-Aid
off from her

blood test a little sooner
than she should have,

and now she has a little
bloodstain on her shirt.

Well, a little soap
and cold water should do it.

That's all? A little
soap and cold water.

Yeah, that should do it.

Great, thanks.

All you have to do
is put a little soap

and cold water on it;
that'll take it right out.

My Mom just told me
the same thing.

Thank you.
Thank you both.

I should've known better.

I'm sorry to have
caused you such trouble.

Oh, it was no trouble.

You've both been very helpful.

Here, I'll walk you
out to the parking lot.

Oh, that's okay,
I'll take her.

I was going
that way anyway.


Oh, the patient
parking lot

is down the hall
and off to the right?

Left. Down the hall
and to the left.

Good-bye, Mrs. Bronstein.
Bye, Matt.

So, I hear your husband
is on the hospital board.

Yes, for 20 years now.

Matt Camden is so nice.

I think he's
a lovely addition

to the hospital staff,
don't you?

It seems that
way, but...

well, I'm new here

and I have heard
some people say

he's a little...


He just insists on doing
everything himself.

I mean, he just
takes on too much.

Works too many hours
and, as a result,

he's a little... erratic.

I mean, you never
know when he'll snap.

People are a little
afraid of him.

Hey, guess what?

We're going
to be featured

in an article
in the Sunday paper.

Guess what?

We don't want to be.

No, it'll be fun.

No, it won't.

Believe me, I have learned
how to stay out of trouble,

and this isn't it.

I agree. It's trouble.


Do you really want
a reporter talking to me?

Think about it.

Why don't we wake
up Sam and David.

They can't feed themselves
yet, so maybe they'll feel

obligated to see things my way.

Let me handle this.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, hey.

I have some bad news
for the four of you.

You are going to do
this newspaper interview

for your father and you're
going to it well.

Now I want each of
you to think

about what you're going
to say ahead of time.

And make sure
that whatever you say

doesn't cause anyone
any trouble.

Mom and Dad just have no idea
what the real world is like.

Getting involved with the press
is a bad, bad idea.

They must have been
so busy with church

that they just missed
the entire White House scandal.

Yeah. Monica has

sure lost a
lot of weight.

So have women
who have morals,

but you don't see them
held up as role models.

Do you?

And do you know why?

Because no moral
women are on diets?

This conversation
is way too adult

for you to be included.

What? Who's Monica?

Well, she's a spokesperson

for a diet company
and she sells handbags.

Well, how do Mary
and Lucy know her?

Because everyone knows her.

She worked for the government
and she used to be in politics.

What's the difference between
government and politics?

Well, the government is the law.

And politics is the way
we get around the law.

I have to go.

I have crossed the line

of which I had so long
been dreaming.

I am free.

And you are here to welcome me
to the land of freedom.

I was a stranger

in a strange land.

That doesn't even
make any sense.

Not to mention that there's
something so wrong about that.

That's from Harriet
Tubman, isn't it?

Yeah, it's Harriet Tubman--
misquoted, updated

and completely ruined.

He's just
trying to use her work

to try to get the
African-American voters,

and it's so insulting
that he would think

that African-Americans
can be so easily fooled.

You don't see the black
candidate up there

quoting Dr. Seuss.

Well, no, but white people

can appreciate
Harriet Tubman.

Appreciation is one thing,
using is another.

Look, I'm too tired
to argue about it.

I just got off a 12-hour
shift and some new orderly,

Elizabeth, keeps following me
around and taking notes

on everything I do.

I think she likes me.


So, I don't want to be liked.

I just want to do my work.

Maybe she just wants
to do her work, too,

and she doesn't
know how to do it.

Why are you being so selfish?

Why can't you just
teach her what you know?

Isn't that what we're
all here for?

To learn from each other.

You aren't dating
Harriet Tubman, are you?

I know-- no longer living.

But a lot of your dates
are like that.


I-I don't know why you're
driving yourself crazy.

I don't think
the guy's going to go

all around the house, he's just
going to sit in the living room.

You never know. He may want
to come in here for a picture.

Picture of what?
I don't know,

but when he does, it'll be
all neat and clean.

Do you think the bed would look

better over under the windows?


Hmm? No. No.

I'm very excited
that we're going to be

featured in the paper,
but I don't want any of us

to make this so important
that we make ourselves crazy.

By "crazy", do you mean me?

No, no, no, of course not.

It's just that I know
you only rearrange
the furniture

when you're feeling anxious
and I don't want you to feel

anxious 'cause I know
everything's going to be fine.

Of course it will.

Do you have any idea
why the kids have been running

back and forth to each other's
rooms all night?

Oh, I told them to make
sure they each come up

with something nice
to say to the reporter.

They're probably just
letting each other know

what wonderful things
they're gonna say about you.

Well, thanks.
I hope you're right.

I need one more promise.

Promise that you won't say
anything about my meeting a guy

when I was doing community
service for getting arrested.

I already promised I wouldn't
say anything about the arrest.

And you won't say anything
about you know who?


Because that might
not look good either.


And besides,
I don't need a reminder

that the best place
to meet a guy

might not be community service.




But don't say anything about
the time I cut Sarah's hair.


Or the time I gave the twins
eggs for their birthday.


Or the time I drew a naked man
for art class.



Just don't mention anything
about my boyfriends.


Or Jimmy, or Rod,
or Jordan, promise.

Or Rick,
or Andrew Nayloss.

I promise.

I thought of something else.

And don't tell this guy

I got suspended from school
for giving the finger.



Get Ruthie.

Uh, get Mary.

I just wanted
to make sure

that each of you was thinking
about what I said earlier.

And that you each know
what you are going to say

and what you are not
going to say.

We've been doing nothing
but that all night.

All night.




Thank you.




The brake stuck.


Are you on your way
to pick up a patient?

You should swap

this chair out first--
that brake might be a problem.

I don't have time.

Elizabeth, take the time.

You don't want to wait until
you actually have a patient

and have something go wrong--
It'll take you two seconds.

Weren't you supposed to get
Mrs. Thomas down to X-ray?

Uh, no, Matt Camden was supposed
to take her.

But, I saw him heading down
to the room with this chair

and I noticed
it had a brake problem,

so I told him
I'd swap it out for him.

Then he yelled at me

for making him late,

and I told him he simply wasn't

taking any patient anywhere
in this chair.

Thank you Elizabeth,
I appreciate that.

Maybe I should have a talk
with Matt.
Oh, uh,

I'd be careful, if I were you.

He has a really nasty temper.

I think he's putting in
a few too many hours.

Did you come up
with a story yet?

Yeah, did you come
up with one?

No, I didn't.

What's your story?

It's a good one.

My Aunt Julie used
to drink a lot.

And she hid it from everyone.

And when she stayed at our house

she hid a liquor bottle
in her suitcase.

And, one day, when
she was drinking

she yelled at my brother,
my Mom threw her out.

And then my Dad helped her
to stop drinking

and sent her to a place
where doctors could help her.

And she got all better.

She got a job at a
high school, teaching

and met a doctor
and fell in love with him.

And then they got married
and had a baby at our house.

She decided to name
the baby Erica.

Eric after my dad,
and "a" after my mom Annie.

And they lived
happily ever after.

Wow, that's a great story.

I sure hope
Mrs. Beasley thinks so.

Why don't you tell me something
about your life

and I can help you come up
with a story.

No, that's all right.

I'll think of something.

Really, I'll help you.

I'm good at this
sort of stuff.

No, I should really
do it on my own.


Hello, Annie.

This is Sharon Peacock
at Glenoak Hospital.

Oh, hi Sharon.
Is anything wrong?

No, no, nothing's wrong,
I just called to chat.

Um, I understand Matt is
working for you now.

Well, yes, he is.

Are you sure
there's nothing wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

But before something
goes wrong,

I thought I'd just give you

a little friendly call
to let you know

that I'm a little bit concerned
about Matt.

Well, have you talked
to Matt about this?

Who wants to go next?

Chrissy, why don't you
tell your story.

My Aunt Judy used
to drink a lot.

And she tried to hide it
from everybody.

But she came to
stay with us

and she couldn't
hide it anymore.

'Cause, one day, she drank so
much, she yelled at my brother.

You don't even have a brother!

Ruthie Camden,

I don't want to hear anymore
outbursts like that,

young lady.
But she...

Go on, Chrissy.

So, my dad, he's a doctor,

he saved her life by getting her
to quit drinking.

And she married a lawyer
and they had twins

and they lived
happily ever after.

Isn't that
a wonderful story.

I think that Chrissy may be a
contender for the cash prize.

I kept the car today
to run some errands

and I was in the neighborhood
so I thought I'd just,

you know, drop by and see
if we could have lunch.

Well, I... I don't have time.

What are you doing
in the neighborhood?

Uh, trying to send something
to Julie by way of Hank.


What are you sending?

Hey, what is this,
the third degree?

You know, I just thought maybe
we could have a bite together.

Oh, I get it. This is about
the reporter, isn't it?


Don't worry,
he called this morning,

I set up an appointment.

He's gonna come by
the apartment tonight.

Are you sure?

You're probably
really tired

when you get home--

working and going to school
and everything.

No, really, it's okay.

I told Dad I'd talk to him

and I'll talk to him--
I don't mind.


Are you afraid I'll say
something stupid?

No. No, not at all.

I just appreciate
you doing this interview

with everything else
you have to do today.

Well, you didn't have to drive
all the over here.

I'm happy to do it.

I'm-I'm not happy,
but I'll do it.

Well, only if you feel like it.

Pre-med is a tough major
and you are working full-time.

Should you be working
so many hours?

I love work.

For the first time
in my life, I really love work.

It's great.
I'm doing really well.

I'm sure you are.

But it must be stressful

working around
so many sick people.

I kind of realized I'd be around
sick people when I signed up.

It's a...

hospital, you know.

Yeah. Okay, okay.

Just... please,
don't work so hard.

You're young,
you should enjoy your life.

Find time to relax a little.

Is there something else
going on?

Am I dying or something?

No, no.
I'm just being a mom.

Just... just checking in on you.

So I'll go now.

Just take it easy and, uh,
don't work too hard.

Hi, Matt.

The guy's a zombie.

Which I prefer, by the way,
to his other personality.

Hey, I just saw your mom.

She said I should
keep an eye

on you--
you all right?
I'm fine.

That's what I told her.

What you doing after work?

I have class.

I have to do this interview
for my Dad.

I was hoping you'd
come with me.

I have a meeting with that
crackpot politician

we saw on TV yesterday.

Oh, yeah?
Well, what are you going to say?

Just tell him how I feel.

Confront him directly.

About the poetry.

Not just about the poetry.

It's about laying claim

to the black man's experience,
all right?

Or the black woman's experience,

as the case may be.

Well, sorry I can't be there.

Has there actually been
a heated discussion

about poetry in this century?

Oh, your mom gave this to me
to give to you.


I knew it. Drugs!

He's on drugs, that's
why he acts so crazy.

Sam, hi.

Come on-- Whoa.

Come in.

Pull up a chair.

Glad you had the time
to meet with me.

I know how busy
you must be.

Well, you know, I'm...

I'm honored that you would feel
that my family is worthy

of the family section
of the Sunday paper.

It's something I've always
enjoyed reading myself.

I've run across person
after person

who knows either you
or Annie or one of the kids.

It seems that everyone
in Glenoak knows you.

And I want
you to know

that you don't
have to worry.

This is...

isn't some sort of expose.

I'm going to show you the story
before it goes to press,

so you'll have
complete approval

of both the copy
and the pictures.

Well, that certainly
puts me at ease.

Why's that?

Just with, uh, seven kids,
five of them who talk,

the odds are pretty good
that someone will say something

that, uh, might not look
so good in print.

Kids are like that.

I cannot wait to meet them.

Yeah. Gosh.

Fortunately, my dad knew
someone, who knew someone,

and they got me
into this work program

so I didn't have
to go to jail.

And that's where you met
the boyfriend?

I knew he couldn't
be trusted.

My dad told me
that he couldn't be trusted.

Yet he let you date him.

He believes

in letting us
make our own mistakes.

And I make a lot of mistakes.

I went out with Rick,

Mary's old boyfriend's brother,
after Andrew Nayloss.

After Brad,

but before Andrew Nayloss
the second time,

which wasn't really a date.

He just insinuated himself
into the date with Brad.

How's Dad with all
these boyfriends?

He can't stand them.

But that's not his fault...
or their fault.

I'm the one
that can't be trusted.

Wait, that didn't
come out right.



But your dad said you were
just being one of the guys.

Exactly, but they
kicked me out

of school for
it, anyway.

Of course, that gave
us an opportunity

to spend some
quality time.

When were you expelled?

Uh, suspended.

That's practically the only time

I ever gotten in trouble.


Well, I tried smoking

T-That's normal
for a guy my age.

Oh, yeah!-- and I gave Deena--

that's the girl I'm in love
with-- a big hickey.

I had to stick around the house
a few weeks for that one.

But Dad was pretty
about that, too.

I mean, why wouldn't he be?
He has seven kids.

Why don't you reload
while I talk to Sam.


So, nobody told you
that I cut Sarah's hair

or I gave the twins eggs
or I drew a naked man?

Good for them.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah.
I wasn't even thinking

when I told this
Chrissy my story.

And even if I was thinking,

I wouldn't think
she'd steal my story.

I couldn't believe it.

She doesn't even have
a drunk Aunt Judy.

But you do?

Well, that's
what I'm trying to tell you.

My Aunt Julie is my Dad's
drunk sister.

But he made her
all better.

He stayed locked up in his
bedroom with her for days.

That's how he
sobers people up.

How did it go?

It didn't.
I spent two hours

down at that guy's
campaign headquarters

just to find out he was
across town making a speech.

And if that speech has one word
of Harriet Tubman's work in it,

I'm going to hunt
him down tomorrow

and give him
a piece of my mind.

I've got to do that
newspaper interview.

The guy's going to be
here any minute.

Oh, gosh, I don't want to be
here to watch you screw that up.

Maybe I'll just go back down
to the hospital

and dig that tape out of the VCR
in the waiting room.

Well, if you feel like digging,
why'd don't you

help me find
the apartment that's

under all this mess.

Well, it's our apartment,
but I think it's your mess.

Too late.


Hey, I'm
Sam Robbins.

Matt, and this is
my roommate John.

Hey, John.

Good night, you guys.

Wait, aren't you going to
help me clean up here?

I didn't help you make this mess
in the first place. Good night.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

No, no, no...

What are you writing?

He didn't spend five
minutes with me.

I'm a little insulted.

Oh, you shouldn't be.

He didn't spend
five minutes with me

or any of the rest
of us, either.

Well, how, how is he
going to get his story

out of five minutes
with each of us?

I have no idea.

But, thank heavens,
I get a first look at it.

Oh, when's that
going to be?

Sometime tomorrow.


Oh, hi, Mrs. Beasley.

Yes, of course,
I know who you are.


Uh-huh. I see.

All right, well, we'll certainly
speak to her about that.

Thank you for calling.

Did you know anything about
Ruthie getting in trouble

in the library today?

No. I didn't even know

the living room furniture
had been rearranged.

Oh. Sorry about that.

Um, Sharon Peacock called
in the middle of rearranging,

and so I just left it and
took off to the hospital.

She goes to our church.

She's Matt's new boss.
Sharon, Sharon Peacock.

I know who she is.
She called because...?

Because... Okay, I should have
told you earlier.

But when I got home,
you were with Sam,

and I just didn't get a chance
to tell you until now.

So anyway...

Well, Sharon thinks that Matt's

showing some signs of stress.

She thinks he's working too hard

with school and work
and everything.

Did she talk to him about it?

She can't. She's his boss.

Ruthie, Mrs. Beasley
just called

to tell me
about something

that happened in
library class today.

Do you want to
tell me about it?

Nah, I was really mad about it,
but once I talked to Sam,

I pretty much got it
out of my system.

Oh, we'd still like
to hear about it.

Basically, I told this
rat-fink Chrissy,

the story I was going
to tell in class.

And then this rat-fink Chrissy
tells my story.

Just stole it from me

and she didn't even
tell it that good

and she still won
the five dollar prize.

Which you then tried
to take away from her.

I didn't try to take it away
from her for me.

I tried to get her to give
it back to the library

because she cheated and she
shouldn't have won the money.

And what story is it that you
think Chrissy stole from you?

The one about Aunt Julie
being a drunk

and Dad making her all better.

And her getting married
to a doctor

and naming the baby
after you guys.

And you mentioned this
to Sam Robbins?

He said if Chrissy were an
adult, I could probably sue her.

But since we're both kids, he's
afraid it's just tough luck.

So, what else did you
say to Sam?

Nothing, except about
Aunt Julie.

I may have mentioned
getting arrested,

and that I met Robbie
when I did community service.

But I didn't say anything bad
about Dad.


Other than maybe
he had connections

who had connections
who helped me out.

All I told him was that
I had a million boyfriends

and I got caught making out.

But I didn't say anything
bad about Dad.

Other than maybe
he doesn't trust anyone.

I told him I got
suspended from school.

But I didn't say anything
bad about Dad.

Other than maybe implied that he
said all guys give the finger.

Uh, I'm going to go
straighten out

the furniture
in the living room.

And, um, the kids
are going to help.

We're going to put it all back.

All back, just the way it was.

Come on. Finally.

I have a dream!

You do not
have a dream!

You do not have a dream!

You do not have a dream!

Where do you get off saying
you've got a dream?!

You have no dream!



I warned them, your mother
warned them, but still...

...they said all
the wrong things.

Don't worry about it, the guy
seemed pretty harmless to me.

You know, I stick to, uh,

if you don't have anything
nice to say,

don't say anything at all.

Define "anything at all."

You know...

... um, okay,
I might have mentioned

that I had to move out
of the house.



I'm grown up now,
I'm a man.

I had to get out...

to be, you know, a man.

A man doesn't live
in a garage or an attic.

What manly things
are you doing here

that you can't do in a
garage or an attic?

I don't know, nothing?

I entertain.



What women?

Women friends.

Friends who are women.


So, you basically told him
that you had to move out

because you have
to entertain

the many women friends
you have in your life.

Yeah, what's the big deal?

I don't know.

Does Shana have
any women friends

who might tell her about...

your many women friends
or any women friends

who can send her
a newspaper?

Yeah, but we broke up.

I mean, I mean, you know,

we didn't break up but we're...

You're free to see other people.

This is all your fault,
you know.

I told you
they'd get the dirt.

No one wants to read about
a squeaky-clean family.

Really, because I find that
people generally look

for squeaky-clean
in a minister's family.

What's wrong with entertaining?

What's wrong with a good
family anecdote?

Oh, like the other kids told?

I just got fired
from the hospital.


Because, evidently,
Matt and I are on drugs.

I'm not on drugs.

And I'm sure not on drugs.

Well, so who said
we're on drugs?

I have no idea.

Why would anyone even think
we're on drugs?

Well, I kinda threw
a tape at the TV

when I saw that politician
quote Martin Luther King.

Oh, George Orfield?


Why would anyone think
Matt is on drugs?

I have no idea.

Your boss called
your mother today.

Is that why she
came to see me?


And Sharon didn't want
to make it official
business at work,

so, she thought the best
thing to do would be

to have a casual conversation
with your mother,

and for your mother to have a
casual conversation with you.

Why can't official business
just remain official,

i.e. my business?

If Sharon talks to you about it

then she has to make a note
of it on your work record

and she didn't want to do that.

But she's concerned
that you're working too hard.

Some of the other orderlies
think that maybe

you're losing your temper a lot
or snapping at people.

I haven't snapped at anyone.

I don't understand this.

I am working hard,
but I love it,

and I'm good at it.

I'm so good at it that I have
another orderly

following me around practically
worshiping me.



No, no, not that you,
in particular,

aren't worship-able...

...it's just that everyone
has their faults,

and so no one is really

Other than...

You don't think Elizabeth

has something to do with this,
do you?

I don't know.

Sharon Peacock wants to see you
in her office tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow should
be an interesting
day for all of us.

I'm sorry to even have
to say anything about this,

but I'm afraid I have to.

Some of your co-workers have
been talking about the fact

that you're
working too hard,

that you're starting
to get short-tempered,

and even more than that,

someone saw you
exchange some money

with a possible drug dealer

Wait, my mom asked
John Hamilton,

my roommate,
to give me 10 bucks.

That wasn't a drug dealer,
that was John Hamilton.

The one who got fired last night

for throwing a tape
at the television?

He was upset at a politician--

George somebody--
I don't even know.


George Orfield?

The guy who's always stealing
words from black writers

and making them
sound like his own?

He got fired for throwing
a tape at that man?

Well, consider him rehired.

Oh, just a sec.


you might want to hire him back

He's paying Mr. Orfield
a visit today.

Well, good for him.

Now... about you, Matt.

What's got you so angry?

I'm not angry,
I'm very happy to be here.

The happiest I've ever been--

Well, do you know anyone that
might want to make you look bad?

I know someone who might,
but I have no idea why.

Want me to ask her?


I'm not even going to ask her.

Because I'm not the one
with the problem.

I'm just going to keep
working hard and studying hard

and hopefully, one day,
I can become a doctor.

Nothing else is really
important to me right now.

Good for you, Matt.

And, uh...

don't worry about having to make
a note in my records about this.

It may be the first,

but it probably
won't be the last.

Not the first.

There's something in here
about you climbing a tree

to talk to a patient.



Mrs. Bronstein?

This is Sharon Peacock.

What did you find out?

That you were right.

Matt Camden is a nice young man.


I've got to pick up a pack
of cigs for Dr. Moses.

Could you get this?

Sure, no problem.

Where's the speech?
You got the speech?

I don't have the speech.

In fact, I came to
make a speech.

What's the problem?

Kid wants
to make a speech.

Mr. Orfield already
has a speechwriter.

And a darn fine one--
university student.

Don't try getting in
on the minority thing

because the student we
already have is black.

She's a woman.

I didn't know
she was a woman.

A black woman writes
your speeches?

Certainly seems
that way, yes.

Does she get paid
to write the speeches?

Of course she's
getting paid.

She's getting
paid very well.

What are you
implying, anyway?

Nothing at all, honest.

Um, do either of you know
who Harriet Tubman is?

Is that the
speechwriter's name?

Is that the speech...

Hey, I could use
your vote in November!

Stranger in a strange land.

Did you spend
your five bucks yet?


Mrs. Beasley called
my parents, you know.

Why'd you do it?

Why did you steal my story?

I had to say something.

And you have lots of stories,
you said so yourself.

Can't we still be friends?

Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow.

Maybe never.

Unless you get some idea
of how wrong this was.

But I couldn't help it,
I had to do it.

I was pressured into it.

You saw the way
Mrs. Beasley looked at me.

No, I just say the way you threw
up your hand and volunteered.

But forget it.

I don't think you're a bad girl.

I just think you did
a bad thing to me.

If you decide you want
to apologize, let me know.

I'll be waiting for you
in the library,

so Mrs. Beasley can hear, too.

So, what do you think?

Do you want to see the pictures?



Honest, I wasn't trying
to do some big expose,

but your family
is something else.

I take it you're not
going to want me

to print any of this, are you?

I would prefer not.

Is this your first experience
with the media?

No, no, we had a camera crew
in the church

a couple of years ago,

but before I could even
start my sermon,

Ruthie stuck a Tic Tac
up her nose.

I had to rush out and take her
to the emergency room.

You're not ready to go public.

Thank you very much
for your time.

I hope you'll still join us
for church on Sunday.

I'll be there.





My family.

I'm sorry,
I told them not to print it

and they
printed it anyway.

Honest, I did.

Anyone here get
the morning paper?

I... I think most of you know me
and my family well enough

to know what you see
in print there,

well, that's...

...the truth.


We're not the
perfect family.

I mean, we are far from being
the perfect family.

But being the imperfect
family that we are,

gives us the opportunity
to practice unconditional love.

'Cause how easy
it would be...

just to love perfection.

But to love imperfection,

that's the challenge.

And the reward is that..

we learn to love
and accept ourselves,

and the many other
imperfect people who

we come across day to day.

Other than that,
I have to say

that I've virtually
been rendered speechless.

Which is fortunate
for all of you because

we have a very special
choir member

who is visiting with us today.

And as she sings
my favorite hymn...

I'm going to take my imperfect
self down there

and hug my imperfect family

and I hope all of you
will take this time

to hug your wife and children

and anyone else with whom
you share life's...

difficult challenges.

Wow! That was the best
sermon I've ever heard!

And the shortest.

And now, on behalf
of everyone in Glenoak,

I welcome Sandi Patty.

♪ Some glad morning ♪

♪ When this life is over ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ To a home on God's
celestial shore ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away, oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah,
by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Just a few more
weary days and then ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ To a land where joy
shall never end ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away, oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah,
by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Oh, I'll fly away,
oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah,
by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Oh, when I die, hallelujah,
by and by ♪

♪ Hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly ♪

♪ Fly away ♪ ♪ Away ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh! ♪