7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 3, Episode 9 - Let's Talk About Sex - full transcript

Simon invests in a babysitting course, but pays dearly when he lets Annie talk him into trying out on Ruthie, who already abused every older sibling even when much younger. Matt desperately seeks inspiration for a college project on sexuality. Wade patiently handles Lucy's insanely jealous and insecure worries after a -for him, unlike Mary, canceled- senior jocks sleepover until Matt comes to her 'rescue', then spontaneously braves Eric. Teenage mothers and (potential) fathers in Eric and Annie's church program go trough surprising hellish moves.

So don't forget to call me
when you get home.

Standard operating procedure.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Bye.
- Tomorrow night, right?

So since we're all chatting here,

you won't mind my asking
where exactly,

and I mean, where exactly,

the two of you will be seeing
each other tomorrow night?



I better be getting home
so I can call you.

I thought you were going to a party
for the basketball team tomorrow.

I am.

And I thought Mary was going to
a girls' basketball team sleepover.

Luce, Mom wants you.

I won't forget.
I got you on speed dial.

Mom's not home. It was the quickest
way I could get you upstairs.

Well, here I am.

The basketball sleepover
tomorrow night,

like the one last Friday night, is...

- Is?
- Co-ed.

- Co-ed?
- Co-ed.

Corey's parents let us stay
in her basement.

We bring CDs, food, videos
and we just hang out.

We do the exact same stuff
that we do at an all-girls' sleepover,

only the guys' varsity team
is there too.

A co-ed sleepover?

Yeah, a co-ed sleepover.

- You got a problem with that?
- I don't have a problem.

I'm surprised Mom and Dad don't
have a problem. What do they say?


They'll probably say something once
I tell them, but I haven't told them.

When were you and Jordan
going to tell me?

I don't really know about Jordan,
but I was thinking never.

Was Jordan there last weekend?

No. Not everyone comes
every week.

But the invitation is always open
for everyone on either team

to come whenever they want.

You're not on the basketball team.

Fine. So just tell me,

no one's kissing or making out
or doing anything,

like having sex?

With 20 other people around? No.

Yeah, right.
How dumb do you think I am?

I'm not Mom and Dad, you know.


- Nothing.
- Nothing.

You're talking about sex.

- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.

Yes, you are.
I can see it in your faces.

Just because you can't find the topic
for your human sexuality project

doesn't mean everybody's talking about
sex behind your back.

Mom told her and then she told me.

Well, if either of you have
any suggestions, I'm listening.

Okay, I don't know
what's going on here,

but if either of you is thinking about
having sex, forget about it.

That means you, Mary.

Hi. You looking for
the "My First Baby Class"?

First? Oh, no.

Actually, this is my sixth.

Or-- Or rather, sixth and seventh.
I'm having twins.

I was looking for the alternative class.
I thought I'd try something different.

How about a condom?

The alternative birth class
is on Monday-Wednesday,

and this is Thursday.
But you're welcome to join us.

You could be like our visiting Ph.D.

It's okay if you don't have a partner.

Oh, no. I have a partner.

Believe me. Seven kids?
Oh, yeah, I've got a partner.

The partner of all partners.

He's just out signing up for one of
our other collaborations, Simon,

for a babysitting class.
He's getting certified.

Oh, not so he can
baby-sit these two.

It's for his girlfriend.

Well, I mean, his girlfriend's
not a baby. Neither is Simon.

Well, I mean, he'll always be my baby.
You know how that goes.

But he and his girlfriend are 12.

They're practically grown.

But not grown enough
to have a baby.

They're just babysitting
for the money.

But they love children.

Here he is.

My partner and husband.

Why do I suddenly feel old?

Okay, you two, in or out?


So it's just yada, yada, yada
until the sun comes up?

- No. Eventually most of us fall asleep.
- Where?

Wherever you can find a place
to throw your sleeping bag.

No one ever throws their sleeping bag
on top of someone else's?

No, and that's it. Give it a rest.

Okay, okay.

But if you were to do something
with a guy, when would that be?

Not in high school. I'm definitely
not gonna have sex in high school.

So when? In college?

I don't know.

I'll make a college plan
when I get to college.

But I am in high school,
so this is my high school plan.

Why isn't your plan to wait until
you're married?

It'll probably end up being that,

but as plans go,
that doesn't work for me.

- Because?
- Because right now

it is impossible for me to think of
myself as ever getting married.

And if I think like that, then I might
start thinking that it's too long to wait

or that it'll never happen, so I might
as well just chuck the whole plan.

I'm going with a short-term plan.

Short-term plans
are much more realistic.

For example,
if you don't drop this subject,

my plan is to scream for help.

Really? Because if help comes,
then you're gonna have to tell them

what we're talking about.

- Hello?
- Lucy.

Hi. Did you just get home?

I never call you when I just get home,
because then I would feel like a wuss.

- I like to walk around a minute first.
- Whatever.

So did anything happen
on your walk?

Yeah. I decided I'm not going to
the sleepover tomorrow night.

I figured we could do
something instead.

You could have told me it was
a sleepover instead of just a party.

It's not like I'm gonna go
Fatal Attraction on you.

I'm not insanely jealous
or insecure or anything.

- I have a life.
- I know you have a life.

You had one before me
and you'll have one after me.

After you?
What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. I know I didn't get my
date request in before your deadline.

I just thought I'd take a shot.

If you already have plans,
I'll just go and not stay over.

I don't think so.

I-- I mean, as it happens,
I don't have any plans,

and even though it's last minute,
I'm available.

Great. Then we'll talk about it
tomorrow at school.

Oh, just a minute.

Why did you decide to
pass on the sleepover?

And did you decide to pass
on tomorrow night's sleepover

or all the sleepovers from now on?

All sleepovers.

My mom's not thrilled with the idea
of teenagers of the opposite sex

left together in a basement
unchaperoned to sleep.

I think it's ridiculous.

No one's gonna do
anything in a crowd

and if someone wants to have sex,
they're gonna find a way.

They don't have to go
to a party to do it.

- So have you found a way?
- What?

I'm only gonna ask this once,

so pay attention and I want the truth.


Have you ever had sex?

Yes, and that's as much
as I want to say about it.

I had my doll fed, burped
and in a fresh diaper

before the rest of the class knew
which end to powder.

I know how to take a temperature,
tell if a cut needs stitches

and make someone throw up.

- You can make someone throw up?
- It's a gift.

I cannot believe I have to go back
three more Thursdays to get certified.

You'd think an hour's worth of training
would cover everything

- anybody needs to know about kids.
- Yeah, you'd think.

At any rate, it'll be great
to have your help

when the twins arrive.

No offence,
but I doubt you can afford me.

Are we paying for this certification
or is he?

I invited Barbara and Cassandra
over tomorrow.

I'm gonna show them how to cook
a vegetarian meal

that they can also strain
into fresh baby food.

Oh, great.
I'll look forward to dining with them.

What else will I be looking forward
to doing?

Well, I was wondering if you could talk
Cassandra's boyfriend

into coming to class with her.
He doesn't have to marry her.

She wants him there for the birth.
She doesn't have any family.

I'll give it my best shot.

What else will I be doing
besides enjoying a wonderful

vegetarian dining experience
with family and friends?

Well, while you were
at the drinking fountain,

I kind of told Barbara's boyfriend,

you know, the sweet guy
with the funny hat, Sam,

that you would help him
find some work maybe.

High school diploma?


One useful skill?

- Does he have a record?
- Yeah, possession of something.

A stolen something?

A kidnapped something?
A drug something?

Eric, I just met these people.

I didn't wanna butt into
every aspect of their lives.

No, of course not.

- That's your job.
- That's my job.

Oh, and we're not gonna be enjoying
that lovely vegetarian meal here.

We're gonna grab dinner
at the pool hall, the girls and I.

Because I'll already
be at the pool hall with the guys.

Well, they're teenagers.

They don't wanna hang out
at the house.

All right. Whatever.

So how was your class?

- Well, I don't wanna brag.
- Since when?

What can I do for you?

Would you mind babysitting
Amy and Zin-Zin?

I need a little time to myself.

Amy is lactose intolerant
and Zin-Zin is allergic to strawberries,

so be very careful
with bedtime snacks.

I'm a professional.
I don't work for free.

One lousy class and you're already
putting the screws to me?

Two bucks, per hour, per kid.

Got change for a 20?

This money isn't real.

Neither are they.

Good night and get out.

How about a cheque?
Will you take a cheque?


Am I the only one in class without
this stupid human sexuality project?

I think so.
I'm halfway done with mine.

What did you do?

I interviewed your parents.


No. I had a bunch of guys
look right into the camera

and give me the best lines they use
to get women to have sex with them.

Then this weekend, I'm gonna cut
in women responding to those lines.

You know, some sensitive,
some funny,

others just plain rude.

My sister's gonna do a monologue
where she says that

men don't talk women into anything

because women have
minds of their own.

Sounds great.

Thanks. Good luck, pal.

But just tell me when.
Or better, tell me who.

Wait. Was there
more than one who?

Oh, yeah.
There was an entire Who-ville.

Would you stop? You're making
me sorry I ever told you the truth.

We're done with this subject.

You better give it a rest or he's gonna
end up breaking up with you.

I'm surprised he ever went out with me
in the first place.

Every time he kisses me,
all he probably thinks about

is how I'm doing it wrong.

He's obviously a much more
experienced guy than I realised.

- So?
- So I can't help but wonder

why he even goes out with me

and why he hasn't
tried anything with me.

Maybe because he really cares
for you and he respects you.

Maybe he just finds me
safe and unattractive.

How is the weather in the land
of the big-time stupid?

Maybe I should see
if he's really attracted to me or not.

- What?
- You heard me.

Yeah, I heard you,
but are we talking about

what I think we're talking about?

- Forget it!
- Why?

You just started dating.
You're still a baby.

You can't have sex.

So, what's on your agenda tonight?

Well, I was hoping to try out
my babysitting expertise,

but I can't seem to find
anyone to baby-sit.

Deena's been trying to help me out,

but no one will hire anyone
without experience

and you can't get experience
unless someone hires you.

It's a fishy circle.

I think you mean "vicious."
It's a vicious circle.

And it should stay that way.

Don't look at me.

I mean it. Don't look at me.

It's just that Mary's
going to a sleepover,

Lucy has a date with Jordan,
Matt is busy researching his project,

and your dad and I
would like to go out.

I'd like to go out too.

Mommy, don't make me do it.

Don't make me give Simon
babysitting lessons. Please.

Don't worry. If you don't wanna stay
home with Simon, you don't have to.

Thanks. I don't want to.

Make her wanna
stay home with you.

How am I supposed to do that?

Make her evening fun.

Fun. Okay.

Yeah, everyone says I'm a fun guy.

I-- I can do fun. Yeah.

Can I come in?

Please do.

You can't make
babysitting me sound fun.

I'm not stupid. I've been through this
with Matt, Mary and Lucy.

Yeah, but did Matt, Mary or Lucy
make your bed into a limo

and get Hoowie to drive
you and your dolls to the moon?

All three of them.
What else you got Mr. Fun?

What? You can't just shuffle me
off to Hoowie-ville

and call it babysitting.

Okay, let's just cut the kids' stuff.

I'll split everything I get
for babysitting you 50-50.

You think Mom and Dad
are gonna pay you?

The only way I'll let you baby-sit me

is if you let me do everything I want,
when I want.

No fire, sharp objects
or playing in the car.


- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.

You wanna grab a pizza with us?

I'd love to,
but I'm behind on my project.

- I'll have to pass this time.
- I understand.

I wouldn't be going out
if I hadn't handed mine in already.

You're kidding. What'd you do?

I interviewed female athletes
as a part of a study

on why women in sports are
less likely to become pregnant.

You can't get pregnant
if you're playing basketball.

Well, that's good to hear.

My younger sister plays basketball.
What about you?

Oh, I talked to couples who have been
married for 50 years or more,

and they still have great sex.

That's good too.
I have nothing. I'm blocked.

You can't think of a single subject
about sex?

- That's hard to believe.
- Why?

I don't know.

You look like you think about it
all the time.

- See you Monday.
- Have a good weekend.

I don't feel like hanging out
with a group tonight.

Is there someplace
we can go to be alone?

- Your living room?
- No.

Someplace where we
won't be interrupted.

Maybe we can just go for a drive?

I don't know what's going on here,

but you know that your parents
prefer that we hang with a group.

I can't even imagine asking your dad
if it would be okay

if we took a little moonlight drive
to nowhere.

So don't ask.

What? Why are you whispering?

Just pick me up at 8, okay?

So, what did you and Jordan
decide to do tonight?

That would be
my personal business.

Hi. Barbara and Cassandra,

these are two of my babies,
Lucy and Mary.

Mary's 16 and I'm 15.

- I'm 16 too.
- Yeah, me too.

I'm giving a little cooking lesson.
Wanna join us?

That's okay.
I'm gonna eat at the sleepover.

And I'm going out with Jordan,

we'll probably grab
a burger or something.

Oh, be careful. Seven months ago,
I went out for a burger

and look where I ended up.

I went out for sushi.

Are you meeting friends?

- We usually do.
- Yes, you usually do.

So where are you and Jordan
and your friends meeting?

I don't know.

Well, call Jordan
and find out for me, okay?

Look, I know where your
sister's going to be.

I need to know where
you are going to be.

I didn't realise this was going
to be such a challenging question.

All right. All right.

That was me, all right.
Don't ask, don't tell.

- It was really nice meeting you guys.
- Yeah.

This one's still dancing.

- Isn't that neat?
- Yeah.

If I could just keep him
in there until I grow up

and finish school and get a job.

It won't be easy,
but if you make up your mind

that that's what you wanna do,
you can do it.

I'll help you do it.

What I really want is to back up
seven months and say:

"I don't have anything to prove to you,
so back off."

I've gotta fill out all this information
just to bus tables?

It's just a formality. They're gonna
give you a shot at the job.

You sure? Because I don't wanna
do this if I'm not getting the job.

They know your background.

They don't know everything.

They know you served time
for possession of crack cocaine,

but they took your time
in rehab into consideration.

- Do they know I can't read?
- No...

Sorry, I didn't mean to
put you on the spot here.

I'll just interview you and fill it out.

- So address?
- I don't really have one.

I'm staying with Barbara
and her mom, you know.

That's why I have to get a job.

I need to carry my own weight
and help pay for that apartment.

I wanna do the right thing.

I asked Barbara to marry me,
you know?

No. I had no idea.

So when's the wedding?

Soon, I hope.

She said she wouldn't marry me
unless I have a job,

so if this is for real...

This is for real.

Well, I don't know what to say, man.

I'm gonna do a good job too.

I'm gonna make my daughter proud.

I'm gonna be the best
table cleaner-upper

that child has ever laid eyes on.

You know why?

Because before
I got involved with Barbara,

I never even had a shot
at cleaning tables.

I never had a shot at anything
before we met you.

I told Sam I wouldn't marry him
unless he got a job,

but the truth is, I don't wanna
marry him no matter what he does.

I'm 16 and he's a 25-year-old guy
with a record.

Well, I-- I think Eric
did find him a job.

Believe me, it's not possible.

That's why I used the job thing
as my condition.

But what about the baby?

Yeah, it's a shame.

I mean, the baby deserves a father,
and he is the father.

I just don't want him
to be the husband.

I don't love him and I think I only said
I did as an excuse to have some fun.

Hey, you know, if the reverend
got Sam into a job,

he can get him out of a job.

You don't have to marry him.
Right, Annie?

Well, no. No, you don't
have to marry him, but he--

He still might wanna keep the job.

Babies like to have food and shelter.
They're funny that way.

I wonder how the reverend's gonna do
with crazy Roger.

He's got a temper like
nothing I've ever seen.

I hardly think asking Roger to hold
your hand during the birth of his child

is anything to get mad about.

That's not what's
gonna make him mad.

What's going to make him mad?

He doesn't know I'm having his child.
Or any child.

He doesn't know I'm pregnant.

Why haven't you told him?

I can't. He's too mad at me
for going out with his brother.

And I thought I had problems.

Excuse me.

I'm Roger Phillips.

One of Cassandra's friends
called me

and said some reverend guy
wanted to see me.

Eric Camden.

I'm the reverend guy
down at the Glen Oak church.

My wife and I are in a class with
Cassandra at the community centre.


Well, Cassandra was wondering,
hoping really,

that you'd be interested in joining us.

Look, pal, I'm not a religious guy, and
I don't wanna learn anything about it.

I don't go to church
and I don't wanna go to church.

I only came down here because

a friend of mine said that
they saw Cassandra

and she looked sick
or something,

and I thought maybe you were the guy
they sent to tell me she was dying.

Even though Cassandra's not one of
my favourite people right now,

I'd be somewhat upset
if she croaked.

- "Somewhat"?
- Well, I would be definitely upset,

only she dated my brother
and that I do not forgive.

You must be the father of
Cassandra's baby. Congratulations.

I thought you knew.


Where do you need a ride to now?

Nowhere. Thanks.

Hey, wait, I-- I'm sorry.

I'm just in a bad mood
because of this project.

I'm starting to feel like
there's something wrong with me

because I have nothing to say
about sex.

And I shouldn't have even brought
the subject up with my baby sister,

even though I know you and Mary
talk about it all the time.

Not all the time.

Sometimes we talk about
what we're going to have for dinner.

Hey, tell me the truth.
The whole sleepover's a cover.

Mary's really sneaking out
with some guy, isn't she?

No. She's definitely
going to the sleepover.

Did you wanna talk
about something?

Oh, yeah.

Do you know where Jordan and I
can get a good burger tonight?

Try the Dairy Shack.

Was that it?

Well, I was thinking
about your project.

Maybe you could do something
on first-time experiences.

Where, when, why. Stuff like that.

Hey, thanks. That's not a bad idea.

In fact, it's a great idea.
I can't believe you came up with it.

Why? I'm not a kid.
I'm 15, I have a boyfriend

and I'm not completely naive.

I know a thing or two about life.

But why are you getting
all defensive?

I said it was a great idea.
Thank you.

- What?
- Nothing.

You're welcome.

So it's the Dairy Shack
and then bowling with friends?

- If that's okay.
- It sounds like fun.

Have a good time.
Don't forget curfew's 11.

Eleven's fine.

If you wanna come back
and watch a little TV until midnight,

that'd probably be okay.

Thanks, Mrs. Camden.

Just to let you know,
we are not going bowling.

Hey, could you guys drop me off?

I thought Mom and her new teen
friends were gonna drop you off.

But I told her I was sure Jordan
wouldn't mind saving her the trouble.

I forgot. If she took you,
she'd see that you were lying.

And evidently so are we, so let's
just get out of here, okay, Luce?

- What are you guys lying about?
- We're not going bowling.

- Why not?
- I have no idea.

- What?
- I don't tell her everything, you know.

Well, they told us in babysitting class
that kids like board games,

so I was gonna see if Ruthie was
interested in any of this.

- Whatever she wants to do is fine.
- No, no, no.

You don't wanna just do
whatever she wants to do.

Tonight, you're not her brother,

you're not her friend,
you're her surrogate parent.

Your job is to see that she's safe,
that her basic needs are met.

And beyond that,
that she has a little clean, safe fun.

She didn't already con you into the old
"we have to do what I want," did she?

Of course not.

I mean, give me a little credit.
I'm smarter than that.

Good. Okay,
here's the number of the pool hall.

We'll be only five minutes away
if you get into any trouble at all.

Matt's upstairs, but he doesn't wanna
be bothered unless it's an emergency.

Matt's gonna be home?

Yes, but in his room,
way up in the attic.

Ruthie doesn't even know
he's around.

All right.
I suppose beggars can't be choosers.

I need all the experience I can get.

- I'm working here.
- Okay.

Okay, we'll be back
in a couple hours.

Be good.

Stay out as late as you want.

You're not gonna give Simon
a hard time, are you?

Me? No way.

When have I ever given
a babysitter any trouble?

Sit down.

The first time that Matt babysat you,

you bit him hard.

I was mad you left me at home.

I'm not like that now.

First time Mary babysat you,

I came home to find her
locked in the linen closet.

She wouldn't leave me alone.

She was driving me crazy with
all those stupid board games.

How many times would you wanna
play Chutes and Ladders?

Last time Lucy was supposed
to keep an eye on you,

I believe you and Simon
left the house,

followed the mailman and got lost.

I promise, we won't leave the house.

Okay. But, really, go easy on Simon.

He's a good brother.

So, you know,
if you wanna go home,

let some of the shock wear off before
seeing Cassandra, that'd be fine.

You don't have to hang out here.

I'm not gonna go home
until I have a word with her.

Until I have a lot of words with her.

Careful words.

More than likely, someday Cassandra
will tell your son or daughter

what you said when you found out
you were having a baby,

and those words will stay
with your son or daughter

for all of his or her life,

so I just-- I wanna suggest to you--



I got a job, baby.


How could you--?

He knows.

- Welcome. What can I get for you?
- Yeah, We'll take two burgers

with everything on them,
fries and a couple Cokes.

- For here or to go?
- For here.

- Make it to go.
- Go where?

Can't we just park someplace
and eat in the car?

Park where?

What about MacArthur's Point?

Isn't that where everyone else goes?

I don't think your parents
would approve.

I know they wouldn't.

Shut up, Arnold.

He recently joined our church.

It's just not safe at MacArthur's Point.

It's not safe to park
on a dark road anywhere.

- Make it for here.
- I live to serve.

Don't you find me attractive?

- Of course I do.
- Well?

Let's get a table and talk.

Can we talk about going somewhere
we can be alone?

This is not funny to me.

Hey, I'm older than you are,
I'm bigger than you are

and you can't pressure me
into doing anything I don't wanna do.

I don't even know what I wanna do,

but I'd like to feel like you're at least
a little attracted to me.

Make them to go.

Shut up, Arnold.

- Stay on the rug.
- I can't.

Why not?

Because then I can't go fast. See?

That's it. Come on.

Take the skates off.

You said I could do anything I want
and I wanna skate.

Not on the rug, on the floor,

where I can feel the breeze
in my face.

Well, wanna do something else,

because this is only
gonna get us in trouble.

I won't get in any trouble.
You're the babysitter.

Please? Pretty, pretty please?
I'm begging you.

Okay. Why don't we jump rope?

Because you refuse
to go out of the house.

We could do it in here.

You can tie one end of the rope
to the stairs

and you can hold the other end.

There's not enough room.
We might break something.

Move the table,
then there will be plenty of room.

Okay. Get the rope.

You're the best babysitter I ever had.

- A little help.
- I can't stop.

I'm really into this project and
I don't wanna lose my train of thought.

No, I'm sure those trains
don't come along too often.

Sorry, it won't work.
The table won't budge.

I guess we'll have to
do something else.

Maybe I can read a book
to you in your room.

Or we could play cops and robbers.

How do you play that?

You don't have handcuffs, do you?

No, silly.

But this rope might come in handy.

Well, I was thinking
about your project.

Maybe you could do something
on first-time experiences.

Where, when, why.

Stuff like that.

I'm an idiot.

But I love you.

If you loved me,
you wouldn't have had sex with me

when I was 15 years old.

I'm just 16 and I'm having a baby.

But I thought you wanted to.

And so what if I did?

I mean, you're older
and you're smarter.

And you should have been looking out
for me, if you really loved me.

But I'm looking out for you now.
I got a job. I'm gonna marry you.

You only wanna marry me
because I'm having a baby.

If I weren't,
you wouldn't even be thinking about it.

And neither would I.

It's just not fair.

We went out less than six months

and now we're gonna spend
our whole lives together.

- You wanna get married?
- No, I don't wanna get married,

but the two of us made this baby,
and now, whether we like it or not,

we have a connection to each other.
And that connection is this child.

A helpless little child who had
no choice in the matter.

And we owe it to this baby
to be friends

and to help each other
throughout this kid's life,

whether we want to or not.

How could you go out
with my brother,

knowing that you were
gonna have my child?

I wanted to get back at you
for doing this to me.

I wonder what this kid's gonna
wanna do to both of us

for not being the family that we should
have been before we created it.

It's not an it.

He's a boy.

I don't wanna sound judgemental,

but there really is nothing good
to be said about teenage pregnancy.

They're just not old enough.

We are so lucky with
Mary, Lucy and Matt.

Hi, Camden. What can I do you for?

Have you seen my sister Lucy
with a tall blond guy?

Yeah. They were here
about an hour ago.

I'm guessing they took their burgers
up to MacArthur's Point.

Your sister's idea,
from what I overheard.

- Luce, get in my car.
- Matt, we were--

I don't wanna talk to you yet!


We were just talking.

- Fine. Now we're gonna talk.
- Could you wait to talk to your dad?

- I'd like to talk to him first.
- That's not a good idea.

Do whatever you think is right,
but if you don't get back in your car,

I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to stop myself from pounding you.

I'm going. I'll talk to you later.

Who do you think you are,
embarrassing me like that?

I am not a child.
I'm practically a grown woman

and you have no right
to interfere in my life like that.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'd rather embarrass you than
find out you did something stupid.

Oh, yeah? If you wanna know if one of
your sisters is doing something stupid,

why don't you try busting in on Mary
at her little boy-girl sleepover?

Untie me. Just untie me. Come on.

I can't untie you until the cops
get here. I'm just a bank teller.

So pretend to be the cops now
and untie me.

You don't want Mom and Dad to come
home and find me like this, do you?

I don't know.
You look pretty cute like that.

Let me see you
from a different angle.

Yep. You look cute from here too.

Don't panic.

I can't get my head out.

It's all your fault.

Hey. Hey, listen to me, girl.

You gotta help me
untie these ropes.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

You're the worst babysitter
I ever had.

That's not what you said
two hours ago.

Yeah, but that was before
you made me wear the staircase.

Hi, Mommy.

She didn't wanna play
the board games.

- But--
- Here. Okay.

After this sentence, I am not speaking
to you for the rest of your life.

Yes, you are. And I'm gonna
speak to the two of you.

Can we not speak to Mom and Dad

and just keep it
between the three of us?

So that's when Matt pulled up

and told her to get
in the car with him.

Any idea where they are now?

Think maybe they went
to pick up Mary.

Why would they do that?

I'm guessing Matt didn't know
the basketball sleepover was co-ed.

And I'm an idiot
because neither did you.

You're a very brave guy
to come forward like this

and I respect you for it.

I take it you wouldn't be talking to us
unless you were telling the truth,

but let me tell you some truths.

You're two years older
than my daughter.

You're a senior and an athlete,

so it's more likely you've
already had some experience.

So here's the deal,
and Annie may have more to add to it.

You're not to be alone anywhere

with our daughter again
outside of this house.

Group activities, school functions.
That's it.

And I want you to come over
to the house more often.

I wanna get to know you better.

I wanna spend some time with you.

And I want you to feel free
to bring your parents by to meet us.

It doesn't have to be
anything formal.

Just drop by, you know,
with one or the other.

Or both, if you like.

And I wanna keep talking
like we've been doing tonight,

because I gotta tell you,
despite what I've heard about this date

and despite the fact that you are
older and more experienced,

I think you're a responsible
and honest guy

who respects my daughter,

and I like that.

I really do.

Well, I don't think you wanna be here
when the three of them get home.


I'll call you tomorrow.

I've already talked to them.

Good night, Matt.


Mary, I'd like to talk to you
in the kitchen.

Lucy, I'll talk to you
after you've talked to your dad.

Oh, wait a minute.

Would anybody mind if I taped this
for my project?

But I am not going to have sex.

And if I were, I wouldn't have to go
to one of these parties to do it.

Good point.

Okay, under what circumstances
would you consider having sex?

But Romeo and Juliet were only 14.

Did you read the entire play?

Romeo and Juliet
committed suicide.

I'm not saying you won't be with
Jordan for the rest of your life.

I'm just saying you're 15
and you don't know yet.

How do you know?
How does anyone know?

And if you're going to spend
the rest of your life with someone,

why should you wait
until you're married to have sex?

We keep coming back to the question
of why you'd lie about it

if you think there's nothing wrong
with what you were doing.

Because you think there was
something wrong

with what I was doing. I don't.

Let me rephrase this.

If you're mature enough
to make your own decisions,

why aren't you mature enough
to stand up for those decisions,

instead of trying to sneak around?

I don't know.

I'm not sure I even know
what the options are.

But it's--
It's important to have a plan.

And of course,
the plan I'd like you to have

is to wait until you get married
to have sex.

Okay. But is there something
in between that?

You know, more than kissing,
less than having sex?

Where do you draw the line?

- Why not?
- No.

But why?

Because kids shouldn't
be taking care of kids.

I'm too young.

where do babies come from?

How come you didn't
put in the answers?

Because not everyone would
answer the questions the same.

What are you gonna call it?

"The talk." "The 19-year talk."

You know, there are a few things
I'd like to ask him.

Me too.