3 Below (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Moonlight Run - full transcript

Aja and Krel enlist Stuart to help find their former ally, who's being held prisoner at a bounty hunter outpost on the moon.

♪ One, two, three below! ♪

Kleb! This is why every light in my condo
has a clap-on feature.

Ah! There she is.

Yes! You're looking good, my old darling.

Oh! A bit dusty, isn't it?

Looking a bit long in the tooth,
but it's always been part of your charm.

Who did that? Did I?

Intruder alert! Intruder alert!

Charge your neurometers, full power.

Whatever this is,
it's not gonna get out alive.

'Sup, Colonel K?
I-I know what you're gonna say.

I forgot to knock.

Stuart of Durio.

I knew something stunk in here.

Hey, the only thing that stinks
is your security system.

I mean, what is this?

It's the second time
I've broken into this place. Ah!

Get out of the ship,
or next time I'll aim.

The thing is it's kind of a rental.

It's about 30 years past due,
so I really should be going, huh?

Open fire!

Don't let him escape!

Activate the ship's tracking device.

Locate the Durian
and get that spacecraft back!

Uh, it didn't fly before now,

so, um, we never put
a tracking device on it, ma'am.

He should have been here by now.

Those Durians are always late!

And this is all one big rescue mission
for your geezer friend?

For Varvatos, yes.

He's being held at a bounty hunter outpost
on the Earth's moon.

The moon?

So flipping cool!

Although, probably not so much
for your friend.

I told you, we're at a sleepover

with our friends Toby and Eli.

The lack of security measures
has me very concerned.

Do their parental units
have any tactical expertise?

Hand-to-hand combat?
Edged weapons?

I'll find out and report back.


Thanks for covering for us.
Did you bring the gear?

As requested.



Greetings, Your Majesties.

Your chariot awaits. Ah!

That doesn't inspire confidence.

And how long is it going to take us
to reach the moon...

in that?

Assuming we make good time,
20 to 30, tops.

- Wow! Minutes?
- Very droll.

Ha! This one's a comedian.

No, not minutes, hours!

So, if you have to use the john,
do so now or forever hold your pee.



nine and ten... million!

Million with an M.

The indomitable Varvatos Vex
rotting away in a cell.

It's almost sad, really.


Every delson in here, there's either
a prison brawl or a grisly murder.

For Varvatos Vex, this is practically
what the hoomans call a "spa weekend."

I see prison hasn't dulled your bluster.

No touching! Stay back!

Don't bother nursing those burns.

You won't be alive long enough
to see them heal.

I said no touching!

Why do I feel like I've heard this song
a thousand times?

- Ah, ah, ah!
- Ah!

It is Uncle Stuey's turn
to pick the music.

- But I'm the...
- Yes, yes, king-in-waiting.

It's a nice try. Out here,
rules of the road, thank you very much.

But there are no roads.

I'm so bored!

- Are we there yet?
- No.

- Are we going to be there soon?
- No.

- How much longer?
- Not for a while.

- Like, ten mekrons?
- No.

- Twenty mekrons?
- No!

Thirty mekrons?

We'll get there
when we get there! Oi!


If you're waking me up,
we better be there.

Come on!
You're gonna wanna see this.

Oh, lively!

You know, for a dump heap,
it's really quite beautiful.

Or as Vex would say, glorious.

- Ah!
- Ah! Stuart!

That was rank, even for you.

The fact that you'd
assume immediately that it's me,

it's really very offensive.

According to the computer, there appears
to be an anomaly in quadrant 245,

here in sector 45.

- Get me out of here!
- I can't take it anymore!

Ay, yi yi.

A moon with low gravity.

So lively!

- I got you, I got you!
- Great, but who's got you?

Ah! I forgot how much I love it here.


You weigh less,

you've got none of that unnecessary oxygen
clogging up your respiratory system.

Zadra's ship! Alpha must have taken it
when he captured Vex.

Then the intel
from that hammer guy was right.

- They're here.
- Yeah, whoa, whoa! Easy there!

This is the Hunter's Guild lunar outpost,

where the most dastardly bounty hunters
in the galaxy refuel and reload.

It's also got a temporary prison.

Humans would call it a "drunk tank."

I get it! It's a rough crowd.

Which is why we're going
to stick to the plan,

thanks to Toby and Darci.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Let's do this.

We've got a quasar sour

for Foo-Foo the Demolisher.



An oxiom mead
for Foo-Foo the Ambivalent.

I don't really know
if I want this anymore.

I just don't know.

Well, maybe I did!

And a bloody Martian,
extra spicy,

for Foo-Foo the Minuscule.

That's Foo-Foo the Mighty.

I'm Foo-Foo the Minuscule.

Sorry. Small mistake.

- Ha ha. Small.
- Oh!

Bounty hunters are a touchy lot.
You have to stay alert.

You try staying alert
without any peripheral vision.

Psst. Zeron Brother, 12 o'clock.

I didn't order this.

Heads up, comrades.

I have a drink I call "the energizer."

- Light it up, Tronos.
- With pleasure!

Bottoms up!


- Heh, rough crowd.
- Psst, keep them busy.

Room for one more?

Let me squeeze in.

That depends...

on whether you can take the heat.

That one's a classic!


Well, lucky for me,
"The Heat" is my middle name.


I'm just kidding. It's Paul.
Uh, what are we playing?

Akiridion skelteg fighting.

Fifty creston minimum bet.

Whoever loses...



Ah, that was good.
Name's Coby Paul von Crumpet.

Anyway, here's my latest catch,
the Crown Prince of the planet Pooplorth.

So, who do I have to kill
to get a drink in this place, hmm?

You enter this cell,
Varvatos Vex promises

you will only be hastening
your own dismemberment.

That wasn't the reaction
I was looking for.

Aja? Queen-in-waiting!

Shh! That guard
could come back any mekron.

Varvatos thought you were...
What are you doing here?

Krel and I thought
a little rescue mission

might make for a fun summer vacation.

A suicide mission is more like it.

This place is replete with bounty hunters!

Varvatos did not train you
to be this foolish.

I'm glad to see prison
hasn't changed you, Varvatos.

This prison is a fitting punishment
for what Varvatos did.

Now go, and leave him to rot.

We don't have time for this!

As queen-in-waiting, shouldn't I decide
what's a fitting punishment?

By order of the Akiridion-Five throne,
I grant you a royal pardon.

I overturn your banishment
and sentence you

to the protection of House Tarron.

Come home, Varvatos.

We need you.

Then I fired a thermal blast
into his bathtub

and electrocuted him
in a puddle of his own filth

like the dirty Kaygon he was.

What about you, Coby?

Oh! Who?

Your favorite kill.

Surely you have one.

Yeah, totally, but, you know,
a gentleman never really kills and tells.

Are you suggesting I'm not a gentleman?

No, no. It's just that...
Honestly, there have been so many.

Um, there was the Professor in the library
with the candlestick.

Uh, the Colonel in the study.

That one I did with a rope.

And don't get me on Ms. Scarlet.

While this is all very fascinating,
I have a bounty to check on.

Well, what about you?

Surely, the Zeron Brotherhood
could fill a supercomputer with its kills.

There was one.

An entire family we took out all at once.

Commander Vex's family?

The bombing of Satellite-Nine.

Very impressive.

I watched as their cores
crumbled to flexel.

And in due time, I will complete my set

when I rip Varvatos Vex's head
from his body

with my own bare hands.

Whoa! That was some story!

It really blew his head right off.



Next round's on me, boys.

- We got royalty in our midst.
- Ah, kleb!

It's no use.

The diavelant laser grid
can't be deactivated

without the prison guard's key.

What are you doing?

You'll alert the guard!

I'm getting the key.

Hey, what's with
all the noise down here?

Ha ha!

This is some rescue, really.

A little patience?

Or did you forget that part
of your warrior training?

No touching!

Varvatos was wrong
to doubt your tactical prowess.

It is most impressive.

You taught me well.

- Wait, you're missing something.
- Varvatos' serrator?

Oh, how he has missed you,
sweet mistress of death!

I can't tell if you're happier to see me
or your serrator.

Wait. Wait one delson.

Where is Zadra?

Aja and Krel of House Tarron.

They are participating
in a human hibernation ritual

with your grandson as we speak.

Isn't that darling?

I must confirm the safety
of my charges at once.

Charges? Has someone stolen
your credit card, dearie?

Aja and Krel are good!

They're awesome, totally safe
and not at all on the moon. Bye!

When I'm feeling a little frosted,

nothing calms my nerves
like some good housekeeping.

You do realize on Akiridion-Five,
I commanded a platoon 6,000 strong?

Or you could try knitting.

Apologies, Commander,

but I have an incoming transmission
from Akiridion-Five.

Thank Seklos!

Authenticate Resistance
communication signature.

The transmission appears to be
coming from a vessel

registered to General Morando.

Seklos and Gaylen!

Now, I know people like to resort
to violence in these situations,

but if I've learned anything
from junior high school,

it's that name-calling
really leaves a more lasting scar.

Morando's bounty for the royals
of House Tarron set a galaxy record.

Nine billion crestons.

And yet, I'm tempted to forgo the money
just so I can kill you myself.



Thank you...

...scary lightning monster.

My pleasure.

It will be worth the nine billion reward.

Hang on, did he just...

Save me to kidnap me? Yeah.

Uh, it makes a lot more sense now.

You've gotta respect his hustle,
though, right?

Deal me in.

He's mine.

Oh, all right, I'm beginning to see
a pattern emerging here.

I am Foo-Foo the Mighty!

- Aw!
- Aw! He's so cute!

My childhood was pain!

And now yours will be, too!

He's mine!

That's my bounty!

Behold, Foo-Foo the Foot Loose!

I am Foo-Foo the Demolisher!

And this bounty is mine!

I'm Foo-Foo the Typhoon,
and it's about to rain pain.

Seklos and Gaylen!

How many can there be?

Well, I'm not positive,
but they might be multiplying.

Feel the Foo-Foo fury!

Now's our chance. Go! Go!

Keep an eye out.
I gotta get out of this thing.

You stole my bounty on Epsilon-Seven!

That bounty was my wife!

Whoa, you are missing quite a show.

Oh, show's over.



A room of Foo-Foo fighters.

A battle of the ages!

- There they are!
- Glorious!

Die, die, die, die, die, die!

Vex, wow! Looks like someone's been
getting beefy in the clink.

Really digging the lats, brah.

Hello, Stuart.

- Your Highness!
- Run now, reunions later.

Varvatos approves of this plan.

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die,
die, die, die, die, die, die...

I'm dead.

Bounty hunters!



get... some!

Varvatos thanks you
for the light exercise.

Varvatos Vex!

Your death is mine!


The gravity here is most unhelpful.

- Kleb!
- Yah!

They're mine!

Hurry! He's right behind us!

If we want a shot
at outrunning these guys,

we should take Zadra's Stryker.

Hey, what are you trying
to imply about my ship?

- Ah!
- Oh, but I'm sure we can make it work.

You three, go ahead.

Varvatos Vex will hold him off.

We came all this way,
we're not leaving without you.

Alpha killed Varvatos' family.

Varvatos must end this.

Now give Alpha a glorious death.

Varvatos Vex has long waited
for this delson.

With your death, the Zeron Brotherhood
will be extinguished

and Varvatos' family
will finally be avenged.

Glorious death!

You soolian!
Are you that stupid?

You've been doing Morando's bidding
this entire time.

Is no one gonna back up Vex
and his boom-boom?

The Zerons killed Vex's family.

This is his fight.

Who do you think hired
the Zeron Brotherhood

to attack Satellite-Nine?

What are you talking about?

We were under orders
to exterminate your family.

No! Morando offered to help me
get vengeance!

He needed you to betray
the king and queen.

He knew you would only do that
to avenge the loss of your own family.

Morando planned this?

He destroyed Varvatos' kin,
and then he...

I nearly destroyed the royal family.

Do you think he's winning?

Sounds like he's winning.

Ha ha!

You have unwittingly handed Varvatos
the tactical advantage.


- Any idea what's going on out there?
- Still too dark to see.

Remember... a little patience.

For the honor of Varvatos' family!

No. No!


Justice was served.

You're with us.

Varvatos must admit,
he is looking forward to returning home...

if you were to grant him that honor,
despite his own failings.

Hey, we've all made mistakes

and we've all lost people
that meant the world to us.

But the three of us are a family.

And Stuart.

And Varvatos will not fail
his family again.

- Somebody is shooting at us!
- But who?

Uncle! Uncle! We come in peace.

Ah! Ouch.

I thought you were an enemy ship!
I could have killed you!

Well, you... you definitely tried.


What? You said you were at a sleepover.

I'm sorry.

I feel bad about that.

You have no idea how much I worried!
I nearly took up knitting!

Such is the pain
of raising teen-agers.

I didn't ask for your opinion,

nor did I authorize
the rescue of a traitor.

He's family. We had to rescue him.

We will discuss your actions later.

For now, I fear
a far greater battle lies ahead.

Loth Saborian?

He was Morando's chief adviser...
until now.

Commander Zadra,

I can only imagine the surprise with which
you will receive this message.

In your absence, General Morando
has taken his Omen prototype

and manufactured an entire army
to do his bidding.

And with Morando's Omens
now raining terror upon our people,

I can no longer support him.

It gives me no pleasure to inform you

that with Akiridion-Five
firmly in his grasp,

he's coming after the royals.


Morando is headed for Earth.