21 Jump Street (1987–1991): Season 1, Episode 2 - America, What a Town - full transcript

( screaming )

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!

Father:
WHAT DO
YOU WANT?

ASK YOUR LITTLE
NO-COLOR CHOIRBOY.

YOU OWE ME SIX GRAND.

KENNY, YOU KNOW THESE BOYS?

LOOK, GUYS, I'LL GET IT.

I JUST NEED MORE TIME.

( burglar alarm ringing )

KEEP HIM AWAY
FROM ME, HUH?



I FEEL LIKE
A CHILD MOLESTER.

OH!

NICE WORK, KID.

Captain:
DEPARTMENT'S GOT
AN UNDERCOVER PROGRAM.

EVERY YEAR WE TAKE
YOUNG-LOOKING OFFICERS--

YOUNG-LOOKING ONES WE THINK
CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURE.

WE TEACH THEM
TO BE TEENAGERS AGAIN.

WE SEND THEM TO HIGH SCHOOLS
THAT CAN USE A MAN UNDERCOVER.

NO, THANKS.

THIS OR A DESK JOB UNTIL
YOU LOOK OLD ENOUGH

TO BE A COP.

THIS IS NOT A REAL IMPRESSIVE
COMPLETION RECORD, BAUER.

SEEMS LIKE AT WILCOX HIGH
YOU THREW A LOT
OF INTERCEPTIONS.

Kenny:
COME ON, WAXER.



LEAVE ME ALONE, MAN.

YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT
HERE AT AMHERST, BOY.

YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT
A LOT, IF YOU LIKE DYING.

♪ WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FINDING ♪

♪ A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG ♪

♪ DON'T HAVE TO STAND ALONE ♪

♪ WE'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL ♪

♪ DON'T NEED PERMISSION ♪

♪ TO DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOMETHING ♪

♪ WHEN WE MEET YOU
AFTER SCHOOL ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE ♪

♪ WHEN YOUR BACK IS
TO THE WALL ♪

♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU NEED US ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE ELSE
TO CALL ♪

♪ WHEN IT LOOKS HOPELESS
A DECISION'S WHAT YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU BETTER BE READY 'CAUSE
YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ 21 JUMP STREET! ♪

Jenko:
KYLE ROTE, BABY--
NEW YORK GIANTS.

GREAT RUNNER.

GUYS, CAN WE TALK?

OPEN.

PENHALL.

INTERCEPTION-- ALL RIGHT!

GUYS, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO GET...

HE HELD HIS TEETH LIKE THIS
WHEN HE RAN-- KYLE.

I USED TO IMITATE HIM
WHEN I WAS PLAYING
IN HIGH SCHOOL...

( both grunt )

GUYS, CAN WE GET DOWN
TO BUSINESS HERE?

( roaring )

( grunts )

GUYS, I'D REALLY LIKE
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.

HUH?

WELL, ACCORDING TO PROCEDURE,
I'M SUPPOSED TO DEBRIEF.

"PROCEDURE"? HEY, MAN,

I HATE THAT WORD.

IT SOUNDS... REPUBLICAN
OR SOMETHING.

I AM A REPUBLICAN.

YEAH, IT FIGURES.

OKAY, TIME'S UP, GANG.

I BET THIS IS THE ONLY PRECINCT
IN THE DEPARTMENT

THAT HAS RECESS.

WHOO, CONSIDER IT
A BREAK, BUDDY.

15 YEARS AGO,

I'D HAVE HAD EVERYBODY MEDITATE
FOR AN HOUR.

Jenko:
OKAY, BUCKAROOS,

LET'S TELL JENKO DADDIO
WHAT WENT DOWN

AT THE SCHOOLHOUSE TODAY.

IN CASE ANYBODY'S BABY
GETS CONSTIPATED?

YOU WISH, MAN.

THE STUFF HASN'T EVEN TAKEN
ITS FIRST STEP.

I THOUGHT PARKER CENTER
WASN'T FRONTING YOU

THE BUY MONEY
TILL THURSDAY.

BUREAUCRACY WAITS FOR NO JUNKIE,
JACK.

I GOT TWO LARGE OUT
OF HOFFS' RESERVE.

BUT THE SUSPECT

LET ME TAKE
THE REST OF IT.

THIS GUY'S NOT TOO BRIGHT.

GOOD GOING, HARRY.

I'LL FILE A WARRANT
IN THE MORNING--

WE'LL PICK THE CREEP UP.

AND I SHARE

THE COLLAR, RIGHT?

WHAT?

HEY, TOJO, IT WAS MY TWO GRAND.

Jenko:
HANSON, YOU STAY

OUT OF TROUBLE TODAY?

NOTES?

YOU RELATED TO STEVE GARVEY?

( clears throat )

6:45 AM.

REPORTED TO JUMP STREET
HEADQUARTERS FOR ROLL CALL.

CAPTAIN JENKO...

I THINK WE GOT THAT PART,
HANSON.

WE WERE THERE, REMEMBER?

( clicks tongue )

ARRIVED AMHERST HIGH SCHOOL
AT 8:37

AND IMMEDIATELY HAD
AN ALTERCATION

WITH TYRELL THOMPSON.

ALTERCATION TOOK PLACE
OVER PROPRIETORSHIP

OF A PARKING SPOT.

NO SHOTS FIRED.

OH, GOOD THING, HANSON--

YOU DIDN'T
HAVE A GUN.

THOMPSON IS COMMONLY KNOWN
AS "WAXER."

HE IS A REPEAT OFFENDER.

I GOT THAT FROM JUVENILE--

THEY KNOW
ALL ABOUT HIM.

AND I'M ALMOST CERTAIN
THAT WAXER'S

ONE OF THE SUSPECTS
FROM THAT 211

THAT OFFICER DUNNIGAN AND I
INVESTIGATED LAST WEEK.

( imitating police dispatcher ):
ONE-ADAM-TWELVE,
ONE-ADAM-TWELVE,

211 GOING TO 415,
KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

GET TO THE POINT!

ONE OF THE VICTIMS,
KENNETH WECKERLE

IS A STUDENT
AT AMHERST.

WAS OBSERVED
BY THIS OFFICER

BEING EXTORTED
BY TYRELL THOMPSON.

I THINK THAT MEANS SQUEEZED.

APPARENTLY, WECKERLE OWES
THOMPSON A LOT OF MONEY.

FOR WHAT?

THAT'S WHAT HE'LL FIND OUT.

( clicks tongue )

I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S A COINCIDENCE

I WAS PUT
INTO THE SCHOOL

THAT KENNY WECKERLE
GOES TO.

NO, I TEND TO DOUBT
IT, TOO, HANSON

UNLESS YOU THINK I JUST GOT OFF
TOUR WITH THE MONKEES.

OF COURSE IT WASN'T
AN ACCIDENT.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE TIME
FOR YOU TO COOL OUT--

NOT GO IN THERE ROUSTING
EVERYBODY IN STUDY HALL.

IF KENNY MADE ME AS A COP

IT WOULD HAVE BLOWN
BOTH THE CASE

AND MY COVER.

HEY, MAN, NEVER HAPPEN.

NAH.

LOOK--

YOU AND IOKI PUT A 24-HOUR
STAKEOUT ON THIS KID.

AND HARRY, I GUESS YOU'D
BETTER TAKE YOUR CAR.

WHY?

Jenko:
SO KENNY WECKER-
WENKER-WHATSIT

DOESN'T RECOGNIZE
YOUR HOTSHOT '68

FROM THE PARKING LOT,

COMPRENDE?

OKAY, CLASS DISMISSED.

Ioki:
I LEARNED HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH
BY WATCHING DRAGNET RERUNS.

I THOUGHT
A "STAKEOUT"

WAS HOW YOU GOT
A SIRLOIN TO GO.

DON'T ASK ME WHAT I THOUGHT
"ASSUME THE POSITION" MEANT.

MAN, I HATE THIS.

I DON'T KNOW--
WE'RE IN THE FIELD.

I ENJOY IT.

YOU WOULD.

YOU'RE ALL COP, AREN'T YOU?

LIKE YOUR OLD MAN.

I HEARD HE
WAS PRETTY HOT.

HE WON THE MEDAL
OF VALOR

AND EVERYTHING.

WHAT DID HE WIN IT FOR?

GETTING KILLED.

Woman:
♪ LOCK THE DOORS, IGNORE THE
KIDS AND LOOK THE OTHER WAY ♪

♪ IS THAT JUST THE WAY WE LIVE
OUR LIVES IN THIS DAY AND AGE? ♪

♪ WE ALL ARE PRISONERS ♪

♪ WATCHING OUR WORLD DECLINE ♪

♪ GOD ONLY HELP US WHILE WE'RE
LIVIN' IT UP ON BORROWED TIME ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE
NOT GONNA CHANGE ♪

♪ WE JUST FIND SOMEONE ELSE
TO BLAME ♪

♪ WHAT A SHAME, WHAT A SHAME,
WHAT A SHAME, WHAT A SHAME ♪

♪ HO-OH ♪

♪ FATHER, MOTHER... ♪

SOME COLLAR--
THE KID'S
A NEWSPAPER BOY.

( alarm sounds )

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THE LITTLE JERK'S
DOING SMASH-AND-GRABS.

Ioki:
ALL RIGHT, TIME
TO GOOSE THE DEUCE.

Woman:
♪ IS THAT JUST THE WAY
OF THE WORLD? ♪

♪ WE ALL DENY IT ♪

♪ BUT WHO'S GONNA FIGHT IT? ♪

♪ WELL, THAT'S JUST
THE WAY OF THE... ♪

♪ THAT'S JUST THE WAY OF... ♪

Hanson:
GO EASY, IOKI.

WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED
TO FOLLOW HIM.

Ioki:
IT'S A 459.

I NEED
THE COLLAR.

HOFFS GOT HALF
OF MY LAST ONE.

( song continues )

♪ TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE ♪

♪ EVERYONE'S SO DYSFUNCTIONAL ♪

♪ FIND YOURSELVES ON TALK TV ♪

♪ MORE AND MORE FLIP THE DIAL ♪

♪ LOOK WHAT'S ON ♪

♪ I'M GONNA GET BY ♪

♪ LIFE, LIBERTY, THE PURSUIT
OF LIES, LIES, LIES ♪

♪ SOUND BITES HAVE MISLED ♪

♪ THE MANTRAS FILL OUR HEAD... ♪

( tires screeching )

( siren blaring )

( horn honks )

( siren continues )

Woman:
♪ FATHER, MOTHER,
SISTER AND BROTHER ♪

♪ IS THAT JUST THE WAY
OF THE WORLD? ♪

♪ MODERN HEALERS ♪

♪ WHEELERS AND DEALERS ♪

♪ IS THAT JUST THE WAY
OF THE WORLD? ♪

♪ OH-OH ♪

♪ WE ALL DENY IT... ♪

PULL OVER,
IT'S ONE OF OURS.

BUT HE'S GETTING AWAY.

Woman:
♪ THAT'S JUST
THE WAY OF THE... ♪

♪ THAT'S JUST THE WAY
OF THE WORLD ♪

♪ YEAH! ♪

( siren continues )

( brakes squeal )

OKAY, GET YOUR HANDS
WHERE I CAN SEE THEM

AND FREEZE.

DON'T SHOOT. I'M A COP.

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME.

HANSON.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

I DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE YOU

WITHOUT THE BANDAGE
ON YOUR PARTNER'S NOSE.

Teacher:
THE METER OR THE RHYME
OF A WELL-WRITTEN SENTENCE

GIVES US, THE WRITER, THE POETIC
PLATFORM TO IN FACT LAUNCH

THE LITERARY PASSION
THAT WE, THE WRITERS, INTEND.

CAN ANYONE TELL ME
ANOTHER REASON

WE MIGHT CHOOSE
TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE?

ANYONE?

JUST RAISE YOUR HAND.

DAVID GOBAL?

HUH?

( class tittering )

GOOD MORNING,
MR. GOBAL.

MIGHT YOU TELL
THE REST OF THE CLASS

WHY WE MIGHT WANT
TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE?

SO YOU CAN DRAW A SALARY?

( class laughing )

I'LL TAKE THAT, MR. BAUER.

I'M SURE THE REST OF THE CLASS
IS BREATHLESS WITH INTEREST

CONCERNING YOUR LIAISON.

READ IT ALOUD.

COME ON, MAN.

IT'S PERSONAL.

I'M NOT YOUR "MAN,"
MR. BAUER.

READ IT, OR GET READY FOR
EXTRA INNINGS WITH MR. SHAFFER.

( sighs )

( clears throat )

"DEAR TOM

"I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING
MR. LAMB'S LECTURE

"ON DIAGRAMMING SENTENCES
AS MUCH AS I AM.

IF YOU NEED ANY HELP,
I'LL BE GLAD..."

"HI. MY NAME IS WENDY,
AND I LOVE TO PARTY.

"I'LL MEET YOU
AFTER SCHOOL.

IF YOU HAVE A CAR,
TELL ME WHERE IT'S AT."

OH, BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN,
MISS BYERS.

BUT IN MY CLASSROOM

WE LIKE TO REFRAIN

FROM ENDING A SENTENCE
WITH A PREPOSITION.

"IF YOU HAVE A CAR,
TELL ME WHERE IT'S AT"?

HELP HER OUT, MR. BAUER.

IT'S IN THE LOT,
A BLUE '68 MUSTANG.

WITH THE PREPOSITIONAL PROBLEM
AT THE END

OF THE SENTENCE, GENIUS.

FOR EXAMPLE--

IF YOU WERE TO ASK ME

WHERE THE CAFETERIA IS AT

HOW WOULD YOU ASK IT PROPERLY?

WHERE'S THE CAFETERIA AT, SCHMO?

( laughter )

( bell rings )

I HAVE BEEN FILLED IN
ON YOUR POTENTIAL

AS A PROBLEM HERE AT AMHERST.

IN MY OWN WAY,
I'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE

TO YOUR REHABILITATION.

INSTEAD OF GIVING YOU
A WEEK'S DETENTION

I PREFER A MORE CIVIL APPROACH.

WELCOME TO THE DRAMA CLUB.

I'M GOING TO BE DIRECTING
RIP VAN WINKLE.

IF YOU DON'T
COME OUT FOR THE PLAY

I'M SURE JAKE SHAFFER CAN ASSIGN
YOU A MORE BARBARIC REPRISAL.

LOOK, WENDY, I THINK
YOU'RE NICE AND ALL, BUT...

THANKS. MY MOM
THINKS I'M A TRAMP.

SO I LIKE GUYS.

IT'S NORMAL.

I GOT A LOT OF HORMONAL
ACTIVITY GOING ON.

SHE MAKES ME WATCH
THESE THINGS ON PUBLIC TV--

ABOUT TEENAGE PREGNANCY
AND VENEREAL DISEASE.

I DON'T DO THAT.

EXCEPT I HAVE THIS FRIEND--

I WON'T TELL YOU
HER NAME.

OKAY... IT'S SHEILA.

SHE THOUGHT THAT SHE HAD HERPES

BUT IT WAS
JUST A COLD SORE.

ARE COLD SORES
LIKE HERPES?

ABSOLUTELY. SAME.

DO YOU REALLY HAVE A MUSTANG?

YEAH.

WHERE DID
YOU GET IT?

IT WAS MY DAD'S.

MINE DRIVES A CHRYSLER.

YOURS MUST BE REALLY COOL.

YEAH, HE WAS.

LOOK, WENDY...

I ALREADY, UH...
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

LUCKY GIRL.

WHO?

YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
YOU'RE A GREAT KISSER.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO GO THROUGH LIFE

WITHOUT AT LEAST ONE.

HEY, PAL.

THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

LUCKY GUY.
SHE'S A GREAT KISSER.

FOR THIS YEAR'S SCHOOL
DRAMATIC PRESENTATION

I HAVE SELECTED
RIP VAN WINKLE.

MY FELLOW THESPIANS

RIP VAN WINKLE
IS AN AMERICAN CLASSIC.

I AIN'T NO THESBIAN,
MR. LAMB.

NO WAY, MAN, YOU'RE A HOMO.

ALL RIGHT, CLASS...

GLAD THAT YOU CAN
MAKE IT, MR. BAUER.

I GOT HUNG UP WITH RONA BARRETT.

SHE FIGURES I'LL BE BIGGER
THAN PAUL NEWMAN.

MAYBE I SHOULD
GIVE YOU THE LEAD.

NO, I'M KIDDING.

FORTUNATELY FOR
WASHINGTON IRVING

SO WAS I.

KENNY... KENNY!

IF YOU WOULD...

COULD YOU PLEASE READ THE PLAY
WITH BUTCH CASSIDY HERE?

KENNY WECKERLE, TOM BAUER.

THIS PLAY STINKS.

CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING
WITH "DEATH" IN THE TITLE?

UH-OH.

WHAT ARE YOU, A HYPNOTIST?

QUIT STARING, HUH?

WHERE DO YOU
WANT TO START?

I... I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW THE PLAY.

YOU'RE LUCKY.

THE THING COULD
CURE AN INSOMNIAC.

HEY, DO I KNOW YOU?

NO. I'M NEW.

I KNOW I KNOW YOU, MAN.

NO, YOU COULDN'T.

SEE, I'M FROM WILCOX.

YEAH, I DO.

YOU USED TO
DATE MY SISTER.

HALF THE GUYS
AT WILCOX HAVE.

KIND OF SKINNY.

NOREEN?

GOT ONE OF THEM
SID VICIOUS HAIRCUTS.

OH, YEAH, NOREEN.

NICE GIRL.

WAIT TILL YOU LIVE WITH HER.

HEY, NEED A RIDE HOME?

NO.

COME ON,
IT'S NO PROBLEM.

WHAT ARE YOU,
A PRIEST?

I DON'T NEED A RIDE.

ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?

IS SOMETHING WRONG
OR SOMETHING?

WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

FORGET IT!

EXACTLY.

HI.

HI.

I DON'T WANT ANY
MORE TROUBLE WITH
YOUR BOYFRIEND, OKAY?

HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

I JUST GO OUT WITH HIM.

REALLY?

YEAH.

OKAY.

I'M SORRY I'VE GOT
TO TELL YOU THIS.

YOU KNOW YOUR
FRIEND SHEILA?

UH-HUH.

I GAVE HER
THE COLD SORE.

I LIKE YOU,
BUT IT'D BE UNFAIR

IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU
I'M A CARRIER.

REALLY?

YEP, WOUNDED IN ACTION
DURING THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION.

BUT I'll GIVE YOU A CALL
WHEN IT GOES INTO REMISSION.

HEY, I KIND OF
HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

BUT LET'S JUST
BE FRIENDS, OKAY?

OKAY.

YUCK.

Waxer:
COME ON, BOY.

YOUR DADDY'S JAG
WAS JUST THE INTEREST.

I NEED YOU TO PAY
THE WHOLE TAB.

LOOK, MAN, I'M WORKING
ON IT, I TOLD YOU.

Waxer:
YOU BETTER
WORK FASTER.

THIS BANK'S GOT
A STEEP RATE.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

THIS IS NONE
OF YOUR PROBLEM.

JUST GET OUT OF HERE.

BUT HE'S MY PROBLEM.

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

YOU BEST CHILL.

HE'S A BUSINESS
ASSOCIATE OF MINE.

SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!

START WORRYING ABOUT YOURSELF.

I'M GOING TO CUT YOU
A LESSON NOW, BOY.

COME ON, GET SOME OF THIS.

YOU BAD.

COME ON.

HEY!

GET OUT OF HERE!

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?

I TOLD YOU
TWO PUNKS ABOUT THIS!

RELAX. ME AND MY BUDDY
WAS PLAYING THE DOZENS.

THAT TRUE?

OH, YEAH.
THE GUY'S A REAL BUDDY.

HEY, BUDDY,
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

PLEASE DO.

YOU KNOW I WILL.

DON'T TRY PULLING
WAXER OFFSIDE, BAUER.

HE'S A KILLER.

IS HE?

SHAZAM, CAPTAIN MARVEL.

HOW DID YOU GET THIS SO FAST?

MY DAD'S OLD FRIEND
RUNS THE NIGHT SHIFT

DOWN AT RECORDS AND I.D.s.

A LITTLE EXTRA CREDIT, HUH?

GOOD LICKS, BUB.

LISTEN TO THIS--

IN THE LAST SIX WEEKS

THERE HAVE BEEN 15 459s
IN THE SAME AREA

ALL BETWEEN 4:00
AND 6:00 A.M.

I THOUGHT FOR SURE

KENNY WECKERLE
WAS INVOLVED IN DRUGS

BUT NOW IT LOOKS
MORE LIKE A BURGLARY RING.

MAYBE.

BUT THEN
WHERE DOES THIS WAXER FIT IN?

HE'S PLAYING THE KID
PRETTY HARD.

HE TRIED TO BEAT HIM UP.

RIPPED OFF
HIS OLD MAN'S CAR.

I STILL THINK WE SHOULD
PICK KENNY UP.

WE CAN MAKE A GOOD CASE--

I.D.ed HIM
AT THE SCENE.

HERE'S THE DEAL.

WE'LL KEEP AN EYE
ON SCOOTER WECKERLE.

YOU STICK
WITH WAXER.

IT SEEMS IT'D TAKE A LOT MORE
THAN HOT WATCHES AND CAMERAS

TO PAY FOR
THAT FERRARI
HE'S DRIVING.

WELL, SEE YOU
AT THE SCHOOLHOUSE, SON.

Man:
♪ NO FIGHT, NO LOVE,
NO MORE, NO ONE ♪

♪ NO PRESERVATIVES,
NO TASTE, NO FUN ♪

♪ NO ♪

♪ I SAID, "NO, NO" ♪

♪ REMEMBER "NO"... ♪

Kenny:
HEY, WAXER.

WAXER.

( rap music continues )

♪ NO DRUGS, NO VICE,
NO DOGS... ♪

( shouting ):
HEY, WAXER.

♪ NO TOLERANCE,
NO MORE, NO WAY ♪

♪ NO... ♪

( music stops )

HEY, RAY RAY.

THE CLARINET
PLAYER IS HERE.

WHAT'S UP?

YOU DON'T LIKE RAP MUSIC?

THIS BETTER NOT BE
MY DAD'S CAR.

NO, BOY, IT'S WHAT'S LEFT
OF YOUR DADDY'S CAR.

RAY RAY GOT
THREE GRAND

FOR THE MOTOR AND TRANNY.

YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE NOT PAWNING THIS.

THIS BELONGED TO MY DAD.

DON'T PUSH IT.

YOU OWE ME
THE DIFFERENCE

FOR THE REST
OF THAT CAR.

I DON'T OWE YOU NOTHING.

WE'RE SQUARE
NOW, RIGHT?

EVEN?

YOU CAN NEVER
GET EVEN, BOY.

BUT THIS SURE DOES IMPROVE
THE T.R.W.

HEY, WHAT'S UP
WITH THIS GUY, HUH?

FIRST, WE FOLLOW HIM
FROM HIS HOUSE

THEN TO SOME DUMP.

NOW WHAT-- HE'S HUNGRY?

I'M GOING IN THERE.

LOOK, WAXER COMES OUT

HIT THE HORN TWICE
AND FOLLOW HIM.

WAIT A MINUTE,
MAN.

SINCE WHEN ARE YOU IN CHARGE?

SINCE I'M THE ONE UNDERCOVER
AT AMHERST.

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I DON'T WANT
TO HIT THE HORN TWICE.

IT'S BROKEN.

WHAT A SURPRISE.

YOU'RE LATE.

MAYBE YOU'RE EARLY.

YOU GOT THE STUFF?

RELAX, ACE.

IT'S IN MY TRUNK.

HOW ABOUT SOME CHAMPAGNE?

SIR?

OH, UH, GIVE ME A DRAFT.

WE DON'T SERVE DRAFT.

THEN GIVE ME
A LIGHT.

COME ON, WE'VE ALL SEEN THE AD.

BUD LIGHT, OKAY.

HOW ABOUT SOME I.D., JACK?

THIS IS ALL THE I.D. I NEED

UNLESS YOU WANT ME
TO REPORT THIS DUMP

AND SEE ABOUT
PULLING YOUR LICENSE.

UH, BUD LIGHT?

RIGHT.

( whistling casually )

POLICE EMERGENCY,
OFFICER TOM HANSON.

LET ME GUESS--
FOLLOW THAT CAR?

THAT'S RIGHT.

FORGET IT.

THIS IS POLICE BUSINESS.

LET'S ROLL.

TAKE A BUS.

IT'S IN MY JURISDICTION

TO COMMANDEER THIS TAXICAB.

COMMANDEER THIS, PAL.

KEEP THE PORSCHE IN SIGHT

THE OTHER HALF
IS YOURS.

I'LL FIX
THE TICKET.

ANYTHING YOU SAY, COMMANDER.

HOLD ON.

( honking horn )

YOU WOULDN'T BE RELATED
TO A GUY NAMED IOKI?

IS HE ITALIAN?

CRAZY, SON OF A...

LOOK AT MY CAR.

YOU CRAZY,
MAN?

I'M STOPPING
FOR THE RED LIGHT...

HEY, WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU FOLLOWING ME, BOY?

FOLLOW HIM!

( ringing )

YEAH?

Hanson:
Jenko.

YEAH, THIS IS HANSON.

LOOK, WE MESSED UP.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WAXER MADE A VEHICLE SWITCH
WITH SOME GUY.

IOKI FOLLOWED HIM.

1925 High Park, Suite 310.

NAME ON THE DOOR IS BENNOTOVICH.

I FOLLOWED WAXER IN A CAB.

Yeah. And?

WE KIND OF RAN INTO HIM.

HE SAW ME AND TOOK OFF.

SHOTS WERE FIRED.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH, BUT THE TAXI
WON'T MAKE IT.

FORGET THE TAXI.

TAXIS ARE EASIER TO COME BY
THAN GOOD COPS.

LISTEN, UH...

pick up the Weckerle kid.

WHAT CHARGE?

I'LL CALL FOR A RAMMEY WARRANT
ON THAT 459.

Waxer will want
to shut him up.

We'll package that dude
on High Park tomorrow morning.

HOW'S THE DEUCE?

THE BEST.

WHAT'S UP, KENNY?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WANT SOMETHING?

YOU DONE GOOD
FOR ME, KENNY.

YOU MADE ME
SOME MONEY.

YOU GOT STRAIGHT.

IT'S STARTING
TO WORK OUT.

I FIGURE LIKE ANY
GOOD BUSINESSMAN

PROFIT PARTICIPATION

AMONG MY EMPLOYEES
WILL KEEP MORALE HIGH.

SPEEDBALL THIS MIX.

IT'S THE BEST.

OKAY, I'M GOING
TO TAG UP WITH JENK.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

YOU'RE IN MY ENGLISH
CLASS, RIGHT?

YEAH. LOVED YOUR HURRAH.

MADE LAMB LOOK LIKE A GOON.

THANKS. YOU KNOW
KENNY WECKERLE?

I KNOW HIS SISTER BETTER.

HAVE YOU SEEN
HIM AROUND?

NO, SORRY, MAN.

HELLO?

"WELL, GEORGE

"WHILE I WAS IN MY OFFICE TODAY

"I HEARD A FUNNY SOUND.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS?"

( student blows
a raspberry )

( class laughs )

"IT WAS YOUR MOTHER
CHOPPING WOOD."

IS KENNY WECKERLE IN HERE?

MR. BAUER,
NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US

CONSIDERING YOU
ARE IN THE PLAY.

FORGET THE PLAY.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN HIM?

I SAW HIM BY THE GYM.

HE WAS PROBABLY
SNIFFING SNEAKERS OR SOMETHING.

KENNY!

GIVE ME THE PARAMEDICS,
BOYS' LOCKER ROOM.

WHO CARES WHO THIS IS?

GET THE PARAMEDICS HERE
OR SOMEBODY DIES.

FREEZE!

FREEZE!

STAY DOWN.

THE MAN SAID FREEZE.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, MAN.

Ioki:
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.

ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU

IN A COURT OF LAW.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT

TO TALK TO A LAWYER
AND HAVE HIM PRESENT WITH YOU

WHILE YOU'RE BEING QUESTIONED.

YOU UNDERSTAND?!

LOOK, HANSON, THE KID
WAS SHOOTING JUNK.

IT HAD TO HAPPEN.

IF WAXER HADN'T
PUT ME WITH KENNY

HE WOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN HIM A HOT SHOT.

SOMEONE DOES DRUGS,
THEY DIE.

MAYBE RIGHT AWAY

MAYBE AFTER
A LOT OF PAIN.

YOU CAN BUST ALL
THE DEALERS YOU WANT.

THE THING IS, YOU GOT
TO BUST THE JONES.

NOREEN WANTED US
TO TELL YOU

THAT SHE LOVES YOU,
AND SHE'S SORRY.

KENNY, WE'RE ALL SORRY.

FOR WHAT?

YOU HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.

YES,
WE DID.

WHAT IS IT
WITH PARENTS, MAN?

IT'S GOT MORE TO DO
WITH WHO'S COOL

THAN WHAT KIND
OF MOM AND DAD

YOU GET
STUCK WITH.

WOULD YOU
EXCUSE US, PLEASE?

YEAH, SURE.

WE'LL PLAY GOLF
THIS SUNDAY, KIDDO--

JUST YOU AND
THE OLD MAN, OKAY?

I HEAR YOU'RE A COP.

THAT STINKS!

SOME KIND
OF DOUBLE AGENT, HUH?

BLOWING IN YOUR BUDDIES.

YOU'RE NOT MY BUDDY.

OH, BREAKING MY HEART.

I SAVED YOUR LIFE ANYWAY.

WHO SAID I WOULD DIE?

TEN CCs OF CHINA WHITE
SPEEDBALLING WITH PURE FLAKE?

WAXER WAS TRYING
TO KILL YOU, MAN.

HE FIGURED I WAS A COP
AND THAT I WAS ON TO YOU.

YOU AND MY OLD MAN
SHOULD SPLIT THIS ROOM'S COST.

( cries in pain )

SPIT OFF!

MAYBE I CAN'T SAVE
YOUR TAIL, MAN--

MAYBE I DON'T EVEN WANT TO--

BUT I WANT WAXER'S.

YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHERE I CAN FIND HIM

I'LL KICK IT UNTIL YOU DO...

BUDDY TO BUDDY.

( knocks on door )

YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME
O.G. NAMED WAXER.

SAVE THE RED EYE.

WHO'S HE?

RELAX. THE DUDE'S SPRUNG.

Waxer:
WHO IS IT?

SOME FRESH-LOOKING FREAK...

AND A GRAY BOY.

( laughter )

I'LL SAY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I NEED AN EIGHT-TRACK.

I HEARD YOU'RE UP ON THAT.

SAYS WHO?

ORIGINAL GANGSTER,
MY EYE.

WE'RE OUT OF HERE, BABY.

YOU GOT THE DUCATS?

ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN COME IN

BUT THE GRAY BOY
STAYS OUTSIDE.

DAMN!

SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED
TO GO IN ALONE.

Waxer:
How you know I'm dealing, girl?

Hoffs:
No, I just figured
you bought those fancy cars

with your lunch money.

COOL IT, JUDE.

YO, HANSON.

YEAH, JENK.

BROKEN PLAY--
HOFFS WENT IN ALONE.

FOUR FOR THREE.

200 HERE.

MY FRIEND OUTSIDE
HAS THE REST.

HOLD HER ARMS.

Waxer:
Hey, girl, what's this?

ROLL IN!

HOFFS!

I'M ALL RIGHT.

DROP THE WEAPON, SON.

DROP IT NOW.

( man grunting in pain )

( ricocheted gunshot )

Hanson:
HOLD IT, MAN!

Man:
♪ ONCE IS NEVER ENOUGH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. ♪

♪ EVEN THE PARTY, YEAH ♪

♪ YOU'RE STILL HUNGRY ♪

♪ GIVIN' THE BREATH ♪

♪ YOU'RE STILL THIRSTY ♪

♪ ONE MIRACLE WAS NEVER ENOUGH ♪

♪ JUST LIKE ONE CHEMICAL
IS NEVER ENOUGH ♪

♪ ONE NIGHT OF SEX
IS NEVER ENOUGH... ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ WHOA ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ RAISE THE LAUGH ♪

♪ STOW THE LAUGH. ♪

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH, BOY.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST,
TYRELL.

( siren wailing )

OKAY, EVERYBODY.

GOOD GOING,
GOOD GOING.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

GET UP.

WHOO!

AND THEY SAY

WHITE BOYS
AIN'T FAST.

FUNNY.

I DIDN'T FINISH
READING HIM HIS RIGHTS.

SOMEONE FINISH

OR WE BLOW IT
ON A MIRANDA.

YOU NEVER QUIT BEING A COP

DO YOU?

NEVER.

I LIKE THAT IN A MAN.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

HUH?

GOOD WORK, TOM.

THANKS.

SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

GO HOME AND GET SOME Zs.

HEY, JENK, I'M STARTING
TO LIKE THAT LADY.

WHAT'S HER DEAL?

DON'T SWEAT IT.

YOU'D NEVER
MAKE THE WEIGHT.

DON'T BET ON IT.

EXCEPT FOR PARALLEL PARKING

I ALMOST GOT A PERFECT SCORE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I DIDN'T BRING
MY CRASH HELMET.

I'M A GOOD DRIVER.

OKAY, I'M SORRY.

ANYWAY, MOM AND DAD

THOUGHT YOU'D ENJOY
ME DRIVING YOU HOME.

THEY DIDN'T WANT
TO COME?

OF COURSE, BUT THEY
WANTED TO MAKE SURE

THEY DIDN'T START

LAYING STUFF
ON YOU RIGHT AWAY.

I GUESS PARENTS
DO THAT STUFF

BECAUSE
THEY LOVE YOU.

YEAH.

IT'S BEEN HARD ON THEM.

PROBABLY ALMOST AS HARD
AS IT'S BEEN ON YOU.

I'LL BE OKAY.

I KNOW.

GIVE ME A MINUTE.

YEAH, SURE.

YOU STILL
TALKING TO ME?

SURE.

THAT'S GREAT.

EVEN THOUGH I'M A COP?

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THAT.

A GUY MESSES UP ONCE--

IT DOESN'T MEAN
HIS WHOLE LIFE IS OVER.

HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY.

EVER HAPPEN TO YOU?

ALL THE TIME.

YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, OKAY?

HEY, HANSON--

THANKS.

HEY, KENNY--

SAY HI TO YOUR SISTER
FOR ME.

I'VE HEARD OF LUCKY BEFORE,
BUT HANSON'S RIDICULOUS.

HE'S HERE LESS THAN A WEEK

AND HE'S ALREADY BUSTED
SOME MAJOR DEALER

WHO HAD WAXER
WORKING KENNY OVER

ON A COCAINE PAYROLL--

RUNNING A BURGLARY RING.

THAT'S THREE COLLARS.

THEN KENNY'S IN A DRUG REHAB

AND ANOTHER
MIDDLE-AMERICAN FAMILY

IS SAVED FROM THE JAWS
OF DRUGS AND DESTRUCTION.

HANSON GETS A GOLD STAR
ON HIS FIRST REPORT CARD

AND ALL THE GLORY.

ARE WE LETTING HIM
GET AWAY WITH THAT?

OH.

I DIDN'T KNOW
WE GOT REPORT CARDS.

Hoffs:
WHEN PENHALL
COMPLAINS THAT MUCH

IT MEANS
HE'S IMPRESSED.

AND YOU
SHOULD BE.

IF HE'S NOT, I AM.

GOOD WORK, MAN.

OKAY, OKAY,
SO I'M IMPRESSED.

BUT DON'T LET THEM IN ON IT.

I GOT A REP TO PROTECT.

I KNOW.

IS JENKO IN?
I WANT TO DEBRIEF.

DEBRIEF? IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.

SO?

NOBODY DEBRIEFS ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

WHY NOT?

WELL, NOW, THERE, THEN...

WIN A FIELD TRIP
TO GROSSE POINTE?

I'M OFF DUTY.

I'M TRYING TO LEAVE
MY WORK AT THE OFFICE.

YEAH? GROOVY.

WHAT'S IN THERE?

I FIGURED I COULD SIT IN
WITH YOU GUYS FOR A SET.

YOU--
SIT IN WITH US?

YEAH, IF YOU CAN KEEP UP.

SAY WHAT?

DON'T STRAIN YOURSELF, BRO.