The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 12, Episode 23 - Episode #12.23 - full transcript

on The Big Bang Theory...

Guess I'm your new neighbor.

- Oh. Leonard. Sheldon.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

That's where I sit.

Howard Wolowitz.

Caltech Department
of Applied Physics.




He speaks English--
he just can't speak to women.

Our babies will be

smart and beautiful.

Finally caught a break.

♪ Soft kitty... ♪

You know my girlfriend,

Howard, I'm hungry!

♪ Warm kitty... ♪

♪ Little ball of fur... ♪

I'm Amy Farrah Fowler.
You're Sheldon Cooper.


Welcome to the premiere episode
of Sheldon Cooper Presents

Fun with Flags.

I'm going up in space.

I'm an astronaut.

Oy vey!

You're talking to me.

I am.

Bernadette Maryann

We now pronounce you
husband and wife.



Angry Amy?

I don't want you to say it

just because social convention
dictates that you...

I love you, too.

Will you marry me?


We did it!

Well, I enjoyed that
more than I thought I would.

I wonder which one's Halley.

Will you marry me?


means... positive?

Super asymmetry, that's it!

Our paper was right.

- We did it!
- We did it?

We did it!

♪ Six times ten
to the eighth atoms ♪

♪ Of a radium in a lead jar ♪

♪ Six times ten to the eighth
atoms of radium ♪

♪ If the half-life of radium
should happen to pass ♪

♪ Three times ten
to the eighth atoms ♪

♪ Of a radium in a lead jar... ♪

Really hope

you're almost to zero.

No, see,
that's the beauty of half-lives:

it's impossible to determine
when you'll arrive at zero.

It's like
"Wheels on the Bus"

if the bus had
an unknowable number of parts.

Yeah, we're gonna need
more coffee.

Yep. I'm with you.
Leonard, coffee?

Black and strong,
like Luke Cage.

I'm too tired
to even be disturbed by that.


Mm, absolutely not, no.

The Nobel committee will be
making the calls to inform

the winners at any minute,
so the only drug I need

is the endorphins pumping
through my brain

in anticipation of our victory.

Well, technically, anticipation
wouldn't be mediated

by endorphins as much
as dopamine, but, you know,

you've been up all night,
so I'll give you that one.

Really? The second
he stops talking?

Well... should we wake him up?

Well, he did say
if he fell asleep,

we were allowed
to slap him awake.

Oh, boy.

Wait a minute.
Why do you get to do it?

'Cause I called it.

Well, you can't just call it.
You have to earn it.

Oh, and you've earned it?

No one has earned it
more than me.

You have your whole life
to smack him around.

This is my time.

Fine. Don't miss.

It's not a volleyball.
I can handle it.

Oh, wait. Hang on.

When you're old, you are
gonna want a record of this.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Do it in slo-mo.
I want to see his cheeks ripple.

Ready... go.

It's happening!

Unknown caller.
It's got to be them.

Okay, put it on speaker.

- Hello?
- Hi.

Hello. This is Sweden calling.

Is this Dr. Cooper
and Dr. Fowler?

- Yes.
- Yeah.


It is my pleasure to inform you
that you've won the Nobel Prize

in being suckers...!

His Swedish accent
was very convincing.

This is it!

What do you want, Howard?

We were just calling to see
if you'd heard yet.

We haven't.

But thank you for getting up

so early to call.

That was very thoughtful.

Oh, please. We have
two little kids.

We've been up for an hour.

Did anyone get to slap Sheldon?


Okay, well, call us
when you hear.

All right,
now what?

Oh, why don't we play a game
to pass the time?

Here. Uh, I am thinking
of a number.

Hint: it's a cube of a cube
of a prime.

There's an infinite number
of possibilities.

What, you got somewhere to be?

Oh. That's me.


Yes, this is Dr. Fowler.

I see.

Okay, thank you.

We won.


Oh, my God!

- We did it.
-I know.

Can you believe it?

That's a good point.
What if I'm dreaming?

We won the Nobel Prize!

♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x23 ♪
The Change Constant
Original Air Date on

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

And how does it feel to be
married to a Nobel Prize winner?

You tell me.

Oh. Amy-centric--
what a fun way to look at it.

I think so.

You would.
That makes sense.


Aw. It's a congratulations text
from my meemaw.

Ooh. Oh, and there's
one from my mom.

And my sister.

Oh, and my brother.

And my brother's ex-wife.

My brother's other ex-wife.

Boy, they don't tell you
when you win a Nobel

it chews up
your phone battery.

Oh, that's me.

It's CVS.
My prescription's ready.

Oh, and also my dad.

He says congratulations
and he loves me.

Nothing about me?


Oh, it's your dad. I'm good.

You know, when you
think about it,

now that we're Nobel
Prize winners,

our names will be linked
together forever.

We're married.

Our names are already
linked together forever.

Oh, please. That's
just a piece of paper.

This is a piece of paper
and a medal.

It's weird.

I don't really
feel different,

but I guess our lives
will never be the same.

Oh, I don't know. We're
going to work like always.

I still put my pants on
both legs at a time.

One day that's
gonna end very badly.

How does it feel?

Okay, w-we're happy
to answer your questions,

Just, um,
one at a time, please?

Dr. Cooper!

Is Dr. Cooper coming back?

No. Next question.

Was it your left hand
or your right hand?


Spit actually flew
out of his mouth.

Hey, fellas.

Can you do me a favor?

Do we have a choice?



Sheldon and Amy

are now officially superstars,
and the press

will be reaching out to their
family and friends for comment.

So that we're all
on the same page,

the word we're gonna use
to describe them is "quirky."

And not quirky.
More like quirky.

So not Mr. and Mrs.


You bitter, envious little man.

Thank you so much.

And what do we call that?

- Quirky. - Quirky.
- Quirky.

Dr. Cooper, can I get
a minute of your time?



- Can I help you?
- Uh, yeah, actually.

Um, I had an appointment

to interview Dr. Cooper
about the Nobel.

Hang on a second.


Sorry, he's not here.

Damn. I've got a deadline.

I don't know
if it helps you at all,

but I'm his best friend
in the whole world.


And an astronaut. Come on,
you can buy me a cup of coffee,

and I'll tell
you about both.

Everyone okay in there?

Go away!


Raj, please, not now.

Hey, what's wrong?

My picture's
all over the Internet,

and I look terrible.

No. Let me see.

Well, that is
an unfortunate angle.

But who cares?

You just won the Nobel.

You should be proud
of this moment.

I know I shouldn't care
about how I look,

and I never thought I did.

It-It's stupid and shallow,
but I just can't help it.

Am I really this frumpy?

No. No, you are
a beautiful woman.

By the way,
if you're not happy

with those pictures,
then make some changes.

Get a haircut, new clothes,

new glasses, big glasses...

No glasses-- then you won't
be able to see those pictures.

Sounds expensive.

Excuse me,
i-if I'm not mistaken,

the Nobel comes with
a substantial cash prize.

What were you gonna
spend it on?

Hadn't really
thought about it.

Sheldon's got his eyes
on some new Dockers.

Come on.
Do something for yourself.

Well, I suppose
I could get a haircut.

And some makeup
and a new wardrobe

and a little thank you gift
for your shopping buddy

if we see something
he likes. Come on.

Where are we going?

Beverly Hills,
where the things he likes are.

Dinner ready?

Not unless you cooked.

Why is this article
about Sheldon all about you?

Let me see.

Oh, good, they used
my NASA picture.

Why does it say that
you're his best friend?

Leonard's his best friend.

No. Leonard
has always been

kind of a monkey butler.

Whenever Sheldon
got into a scrape,

I was his go-to guy.

When did he get
into a scrape?

You're kidding, right?

W-- Remember
when he had a panic attack

'cause his hand got stuck
in a jar of olives?

I was the one who told him
to let go of the olives.

Please, that doesn't
make you his best friend.

You know,
that reporter asked me

if I could put him in touch

Amy's best friend.

That's Penny.

Doesn't have to be.


What kind of tea
is appropriate

for winning a Nobel Prize
and now everything is changing

and you feel unmoored
from reality?

I don't know. Earl Grey?

You know,

this is something
I've wanted my whole life.

But I guess I never considered

how everything
would be different.

Buddy, I-I know it all feels
overwhelming right now,

but I promise you,
things will settle down.

There's no Earl Grey!

You filthy liar!

Hey, is Penny here?

No. Why?

I wanted to show her

my latest creation.

I give you...

Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

Wow. Amy, you
look amazing.

Thank you.

Sheldon, what do you think?

I like you better
the way you were.

But she looks

Classic lines,

colors that complement
her skin tone,

and hair that goes from "office"
to "on the town" in minutes.

I don't care.
Put it back.

I like the way I look.

Well, I don't!

My fault.
I was out of Earl Grey.

Sheldon, that was really rude.

I'm sorry. Amy is
the one constant I can count on,

and now she's changing.

It's just a haircut
and some clothes.

No, it's
the last straw!

I can't take any more!

Can you believe it?

They finally fixed the elevator.

This is
a nightmare.

What's with him?

He won a Nobel Prize,
and his wife looks amazing.

Oh. Yeah, got it.

How did you get down here?

The elevator. It's really fast.

I-I need to be alone right now.

Don't try to follow me.

All right.
You need a ride?

That'd be great.
Thank you.

I should've seen this coming.

Oh, stop. You're allowed
to get a haircut.

I know.

But I should've done it

You know, like...

maybe 300 tiny haircuts
over a ten-year period.

Okay, you need to
focus on the positive.

You won a Nobel Prize.

I slapped Sheldon.

A lot of dreams
came true today.

You know, you're right.

This is a huge day for me,

and I'm allowed to enjoy it

without worrying how
it's going to affect my husband.

Is it me

or did it just
get fierce in here?

All this change
is just too much.

The reporters,

the attention at work,

and now even Amy's changed.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Slow down.
- I'm playing a drinking game.

Every time you say
the word "change,"

I take a slug.

Are you gonna be able
to drive me home?

Mm. Not unless you
change the subject.

Huh. Now I said it.

Meh. Hmm.

You know, you're the
only person who could win

the biggest prize in science
and still be upset about it.

It's just...

all the times
I thought about winning,

I never thought
about how it would ch--

affect my life.

I'm sorry, I'm genuinely
concerned about your liver.


Fine, I'll stop playing.

You know, you go on and on about
wanting things to stay the same,

but you've changed a
lot since I met you.

Oh, you are a mean drunk.

I'm serious.

You have a ton of friends,

you got married, moved
into a new apartment,

you wore a baseball
hat that one time.

Heck, you've had sex almost as
many times as I have fingers.



By this many.

You dog!

It was the Avengers trailer.



You know, I've grown, too.
I used to be the bartender

back there.
- That's true.

And now there is
a completely different woman

who botched my drink order.

How hard is 65% Coke,
35% Diet Coke?

Well, judging
by the look on her face,

it's at least
one percent saliva.

I do take your point.

You know,
you're also married,

you have a successful career,
you no longer dress

like you're trying
to attract sailors by the wharf.

So, I guess the only thing
that actually stays the same

is that things are
always changing.


So you're saying
the inevitability of change

might be
a universal constant.

Well, there's a little more to
it than that, but, yeah, sure.

Oh. Hey, look,
that's Bernadette.

I can't tell you how many times
Dr. Fowler was gonna give up

and I would say to her,

"Amy, as your best friend,

I'm not gonna let you quit."

Okay, I'm drinking again.

I'll join you.

uh, 95% Hawaiian Punch,
five percent vodka.

Let me tell you about the time

Mr. Nobel Laureate
wanted olives...

This is a good one.

You know what, 90/10!

You know, I like
the way my hair looks.

I'm done tiptoeing
around him.

We're all guilty of it.

But why?

'Cause we were afraid
to upset him.

Which happens anyway.

Well, that's over.

I'm-I'm done enabling him.

this is his spot

and-and the thermostat
has to be set

to his comfort level,

even though he doesn't
even live here anymore

and I'm always chilly.

Is that why you wear
a hoodie all the time?

Why would-- Yes!

To accommodate

And what-what
about this-this thing?

Why is it here?
I'll tell you why.

Because it was here
when I moved in,

and, for no earthly reason,

he forbade me to touch it.

Well, if you don't like it,

get rid of it.

Put it in the closet.

You know what,

I will.

I bet that's the reason.

Hang on.

What do you think?

Want to give it a try?

Well, you know,

the elevator did work
when I moved into the building.

So going up and down the stairs
was a change,

which means this would actually
be a return to the status quo.

- But, conversely, I think...
- Get in!

This is wild.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==





And last but not least,


This might be the glue talking,

but that was a very pleasurable
139 and a half hours.


What kind of DNA
is this, anyway?

I was trying to design
the genetic code

of an advanced race
of human being.

One of my rare failures,

What went wrong?

The balls kept
sticking to my pants.

Let's just let it dry.

- Hi. - Hello.
- Hey, babe.

Oh, don't slam the...
Don't slam the...

That was exhilarating.

- You pick up your dresses?
- Yep.

The tailor had to take mine in
and let Penny's out.

Best day of my life.

What about the day you met me?

I stand by my statement.

Well, thank you guys so much
for the clothes

and the shoes,
the plane tickets.

You've been so generous.

Well, it's important
that all of our friends

get to share
this moment with us.

And then for years to come,
you can tell others

you had a front-row
seat to history.

Although, technically,

I think your seats are
in the second row.

Do you want to go back to the apartment
and see me try on my dress?

Shouldn't I see it for the first
time at the Nobel ceremony?

It's not a wedding.

Okay. Well, give me
a minute to think

of another reason I
don't want to see it.

How about this-- you can
practice your acceptance speech

while I try on the dress.

Ah, great. You can help me
whittle it down to 90 minutes.

Was Amy suspicious when
they had to let your dress out?

No. She was so happy,
she didn't even question it.

Someone's gonna figure it out.
Why don't we just tell people?

No, it's too early.

I haven't even wrapped
my head around it.

- I have. My head is wrapped.
- Yeah, well...

if something else had been wrapped,
we wouldn't be in this situation.

Excuse me, but if I recall, you're the one
who went out drinking with Sheldon,

then came home and attacked me.

Attacked you? I said,
"Do you wanna?"


- I was helpless.


do you wanna?

- Well, I can't get more pregnant.
- Mm-hmm.

We'll see about that.

♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x24 ♪
The Stockholm Syndrome
Original Air Date

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Now, Michael, Mommy and Daddy

are going away
for a couple days,

so if you're gonna say
your first words,

you got to do it now
or wait till we get back.

Somebody just peed

in the big girl potty.

Oh, I'm so proud!

It was her, right?


You still feel good
about leaving them

with Stuart and Denise
for a couple days?

I guess. I just hope we don't
miss Michael's first words.

Or Stuart's last words.

You realize it's been years

since we've got away
just the two of us.

I know. I can't wait.

Fancy hotel room.
The big bed.

Yeah. We're gonna
sleep our asses off.

You really think walking her

is gonna help me meet girls?

Cinnamon is chick bait.

Good. 'Cause I'm not.

Just remember,

you're in charge.

Don't let her pull you.

That seems like
an unnecessary thing to say.

And please, if you have
any problems, any questions,

call me immediately, okay?

She's my baby.

It shouldn't come up,
but just in case:

where could I buy a dog
that looks exactly like her?

Kidding. If she dies,
I'll just tell you.


Oh. Hang on.


"Your majesties, members
of the Nobel Academy--

"when I was a young boy
growing up in East Texas

"I always knew
I'd wind up on this stage,

"and everybody
who said I wouldn't looks

"pretty darn foolish right now.
I'm talking about you,

high school science teacher
Mr. Hubert Givens..."

Sheldon, Sheldon.
Why are you talking so fast?

I'm trying to get my speech
down to 90 minutes.

Nobody's gonna be able to
understand a word you're saying.

Welcome to my life.

I think you need
to do some editing,

like maybe cut out all
that stuff about your childhood.

Are you kidding? Growing up
in the backwoods of East Texas

is what makes me warm
and relatable.

Well, what about all these pages

calling out everyone
who said you wouldn't succeed?

I told them all
they would rue the day.

How is it gonna make me look
if the day finally comes,

and they're not filled with rue?

Sheldon, this isn't about ruing.

This is about...

humbly accepting
a great honor.

Amy, we won the Nobel
Prize in Physics.

Humility is for people
who win the goofy Nobels

like Literature,
Economics and Peace.

Please tell me that's
not in your speech.

Oh. I can cut it,
but it's the only joke I have.

All right, bagels down.
Before we head to the airport,

I'd like to go over
a few things.

From the moment we
step off the plane,

each and every one of you
is an ambassador

for Amy and myself.

I told you
these tickets weren't free.

As such, your behavior must
reflect the highest standards.

Uh, Raj. Bagel down.

If my blood sugar drops
and I get bitchy, it's on you.

Amy, why don't you
kick us off.

Thank you.

"The challenging
climate of Scandinavia

"has left its mark on
the Swedish character.

"These dour,
latter-day Vikings

"are slow to warm up
to strangers,

"but if you follow
a few easy steps,

a Swede can be your
friend for life."

"Number one,

"in Sweden, punctuality
is taken very seriously.

"In other words, the loosey-goosey
attitude in Helsinki

will not fly in Stockholm."

"Two, at the beginning

"and end of all business
and social meetings,

"shake hands with
everyone present--

men, women and children."

Yes, you're all encouraged
to pair off and practice this

once we're in the air
and the seat belt sign is off.

Yes, Penny?

Do we have to go?

Yes. And a reminder, Penny,
there's free alcohol

in business class--
don't abuse it.

Relax. I'm not gonna drink.

Why? You pregnant?
Wha...? No.

No, I just, you know,

I don't like to
drink when I fly.

Please. I've seen you
drink in the shower.

You guys have
showered together?

you're just...


That wasn't a no.

All right,

well, we should head out now
if we're gonna get

to the airport
six hours before boarding.

Excuse me. Hello?
What did we

just learn about the end
of business meetings?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, great. Whatever. Uh-huh.

Go on.

You first. Go.


Help me!

Help me!
Oh, wait. Come here.

- We got this.
- Yeah, get in, get in, get in.

Hang on.

I've-I've got an idea.

Well done. You know,
you're proving to be

an invaluable part
of my entourage.



- How you doing?
- Fine. Why?

Well, this is the furthest we've
ever been away from the kids.

I was just checking to see
if you're okay.

I'm on my second Jack Reacher.
I'm doing great.

Good. Me, too.

I was just looking
at the map.

Couldn't help
thinking: we're here

and they're there, and
if anything happened,

we'd have to go here to get
all the way back there.

Why are you trying
to freak me out?

This is our vacation.

I thought we should
do things together.

Howard, the kids are okay.

How do you know that?

I just know.
A mother knows.

So what,
now the Force is with you?

Let's see.

This is not the woman
you want to annoy.

- Howard. Howard.
- What?

You see the woman
sitting next to me?

What about her?

Is this her?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Shh! Be cool.

- No, that's not her.
- Okay.

How about now?


That's the fourth time
she's been to the bathroom

in the last two hours.


Her breakfast was binding.
I made sure of that.

- So?
- So she clearly has

some sort of
stomach distress.

If it's viral, we're
all susceptible.

She's probably just airsick.

Yeah, but what
if she's not?

What if we get
what she has?

What if we infect
the King of Sweden?

That's how wars start.

All right, that's it, this is Outbreak
and she's the monkey.

Wait. Stop.

Be reasonable.


we need to do something
about your wife.

- What's the matter?
- She is clearly sick,

and she's gonna take us
all down with her.

She's not sick, Sheldon.

She is, and I'm
gonna catch it,

and it's gonna ruin
the greatest day of my life.

I promise you're not going
to get what she has.

What's going on?

Unclean! Unclean!


He thinks you're sick.


Should we tell him?

Well, if we don't,
he might try

and jump out of the plane.
- Yeah.

Doesn't answer my question.

Tell me what?

I'm pregnant, Sheldon.

You're right,
I can't catch that.

Good news, Amy.

She's just pregnant.

Are you kidding me?

You just found out that a woman
who has loved and cared for you

for 12 years is pregnant,
and all you can say is

you're relieved that she's
not gonna get you sick?

There's no need
for a recap.

I was there.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't tell anybody.

I'm not anybody.
I'm your best friend.

- What's going on?
- She's pregnant.

That's fantastic!

Why didn't you tell me?

She didn't tell
me, either.

But I'm her best friend.

We'll get
into that later.

What happened to "I'm
never gonna have kids"?

It was an accident. I went out
drinking with Sheldon.

Oh, my gosh.

We're sister wives?

No. Then I went home
and slept with Leonard.

- While fantasizing about...
- Leonard.

And a little Idris Elba.

- I mean, ah...
- Oh, yeah.

What would you like me to say?

How about congratulating us?

Are congratulations
even in order?

I didn't think
Penny wanted children.

Well, she didn't, now she
does. And just so you know,

we weren't gonna tell anybody

so we wouldn't
upstage your big day.

Oh, please,
you couldn't upstage us.

We won a Nobel Prize.

Any idiot can have a baby.

Hey. What's going on?

Case in point.

You are a selfish jerk.

To hell with you and
your Nobel Prize.

I found her boarding pass
in her purse.

It's totally her.

Hi, Stuart, just checking in.

Seeing if everything's okay.

Oh, yeah, we're having fun.

Me, Halley and Denise
played hide-and-seek all day.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.

I found Denise right away.

Where was Halley hiding?

Uh, the important thing
is she's not there now.

Okay, so, everyone's
happy and healthy?

Well, that depends.

What's that mean?

Uh, how many teeth

did Halley have when you left?

All of them.

Oh, yeah, that's-that's
what I was afraid of.

What happened?

Um, well, all right.

Um, Michael had a little fever
last night.

Michael had a fever?

Do you want to hear about Halley
or not?

What happened, Stuart?

He was running a little fever,
nothing to worry about.

And Halley, bless her heart,

wanted to bring him
his boo-boo bear,

so she climbed
over the safety rail

and took a little tumble
down the stairs.

She fell down the stairs?!

She rolled down the stairs,

laughing the whole time.

when she got to the bottom,

there was a tooth missing.

Oh, Stuart!

She's fine!

She thought it was funny.

Did you at least save
it for the tooth fairy?

No, we couldn't find it.

We have a theory

about where it is,
but it'll take

six to eight hours to confirm.

Speaking of which,

where do you keep
the spaghetti strainer?

Come on, you didn't
seriously expect him to react

like a normal human being.

No, but still,

a-after all these years,

after all the crap
I've put up with,

you'd think just this once

he'd care
about someone else's feelings.

- Oh, my God!
- What?

Pickled herring.
Who knew how good it was!


Sounds gross.
Looks gross. Smells gross.

It's delicious!

Ooh, that might
be my salted cod!


Sheldon has something
he'd like to say.

I'm sorry I didn't

react appropriately.

You and Penny are bringing
new life into the world.

Congratulations. I
can't wait to meet it.

- "It"?
- That's a gender-neutral pronoun.

If you're offended, take it
up with the English language.

Oh, good, you're here.

we're thinking
maybe we should go back to L.A.

- Why?
- We just can't

be this far away from the kids.

Bernie's having a meltdown,

- and, frankly, so am I.
- Yeah, well,

pull it together. This
is a big day for me.

I wasn't sure what to do.

Now I am. We're going home.

- We'll join you.
- Oh, wait.

Do I get a vote in this?

They'll have pickled herring
on the plane.


Well, I hate to say it,

but I think everyone
is being incredibly selfish.

Well, you would be the authority
on the subject.

What does that mean?

no one is happier than I am

to win the Nobel.

But it's not more important
than our friends.

How can you call them friends
when they're abandoning us?

They're abandoning us

because you broke
their hearts.

- I didn't mean to.
- I know!

You never mean to.

That's the only reason

people tolerate you!

Does that include you?

Sometimes, yeah.

Okay, that's it for the fish.

We'll be back with the meatballs

after a short word
from our sponsor.

Oh, thank you.

Leonard, I can't go home.

- I have to be there for Amy.
- Yeah.

I was thinking that, too.

As angry as I am at Sheldon,

I still want to see him win
that medal.

It's so strange.

No matter how thoughtless
and selfish he is,

I still love him.

If you think about it,

he has kind of been
our practice kid.

Like when you make pancakes

and the first one
comes out a little wonky.

The university prefers "quirky."


Hey. It's Howard.

Oh, us, too.

- Wait, what?
- They're gonna stay.

The kids are fine.
Bernie's parents took over.


Oh, poor little guy.

Is Michael okay?

Yeah, it's Stuart.

Bernie's dad gave him a hug,
cracked a rib.

Yeah. Okay,
we'll meet you in the lobby.

How long is it gonna take you
to get ready?

Oh, I just need, like,
five or ten minutes.

- Really?
- No. What is wrong with you?!

And in the field of physics,

Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

and Dr. Sheldon Cooper

for their discovery
of super-asymmetry.

Just to be clear,
this isn't a date.

Yeah, I know.

Then why are you
holding my hand?

Thank you, your majesties.

Thank you
to the Nobel Committee.

We are deeply honored.

I would just like
to take this moment

to say to all the young girls
out there

who dream about science
as a profession:

go for it.

It is the greatest job

in the world.

And if anybody tells you
you can't, don't listen.

And now,

speaking of not listening,

my husband,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.


What? Did you finish? Great job.

Thank you, Dr. Fowler.

I have a very long

and somewhat self-centered
speech here.

But I'd like to set it aside.

- Yeah!
- Way to go!

Because this honor
doesn't just belong to me.

I wouldn't be up here
if it weren't

for some very important people
in my life.

Beginning with my mother,
father, meemaw,

brother and sister.

And my other family,

who I'm so happy
to have here with us.

Is that Buffy the
Vampire Slayer?

I was under a misapprehension

that my accomplishments
were mine alone.

Nothing could be further
from the truth.

I have been

encouraged, sustained,

inspired and tolerated

not only by my wife,

but by the greatest group
of friends anyone ever had.

I'd like to ask them to stand.

Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.

Dr. Bernadette
Rostenkowski Wolowitz.

Astronaut Howard Wolowitz.

And my two dearest friends
in the world,

Penny Hofstadter...

...and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.

I was there the moment
Leonard and Penny met.

He said to me that their babies
would be smart and beautiful.

And now that they're expecting,

I have no doubt that
that will be the case.

Thanks, Sheldon. I-I haven't
told my parents yet, but thanks.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Don't tell anyone
that last thing.

That's a secret.

Howard, Bernadette,

Raj, Penny, Leonard,

I apologize if I haven't
been the friend you deserve.

But I want you to know

in my way,

I love you all.

And I love you.

Thank you.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly
14 billion years ago ♪

♪ Expansion started... Wait ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built a Wall,
we built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History ♪

♪ Unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang. ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==