The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 12, Episode 22 - Episode #12.22 - full transcript

Leonard, when are you leaving

to pick your mother up
from the airport?

Uh, well, let's see, her
plane gets in at 3:00,

figure half hour to get
her luggage, so... never.


Isn't that usually
when you go to the gym?

Are you really not gonna
pick up your mother?

No-- it's fine, she likes
to take a cab or a shuttle.

That way she can meet people.

Well, that's kind of nice.

Yeah, she always says
that a stranger is just

a person whose emotional weak
point you haven't found yet.

Your mom is the best.

Oh, maybe I should pick her up.

You don't drive.

That's what makes you
and me a great team.

Go get your keys.

You can't pick her up.

It'll make me
look like a bad son.

I imagine that's
one of the things

we'll talk about
on the ride.

That and Amy's
recent reluctance

to use turn signals.

We were in a parking garage.

Come on,
she gave birth to you.

Fine, I'll pick her up.

Good, I'll go with you.

- I call back seat.
- Oh, I don't want to be

the only one who doesn't go.

I'll just sit here afraid that
you're all talking about me.

We're not gonna
talk about you.

Well, that's my other fear.

This is crazy. I can
pick her up by myself.

So it's just you?

♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x22 ♪
The Maternal Conclusion
Original Air Date on May 9, 2019

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

How was your flight?

There were some parents
with a baby.

A lot of crying.

Well, babies do that.

No, it was the parents.

It seems they couldn't handle
some constructive criticism.

Hey, on a completely
unrelated note, um,

you know, if you'd
rather stay at a hotel,

we wouldn't be offended.

Actually, I've been looking
forward to staying with you.

Really? It's just, normally,
you stay at a hotel.

Would you like me
to stay at a hotel?

No, no, no.

I-I invited you to stay with us.

And I accepted,

so everyone is happy.


I'm happy, you're happy...

...everyone's happy.

How come we never eat
in the dining room?

Oh, that's for company.

What am I?

Apparently, a guy who wants
to have his feelings hurt.

When does Anu
come back from London?

Next week.
But it's been good, you know?

Really given me a chance
to focus on myself.

How's that going?

I didn't like what I saw,
got in my car, drove over here.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey. - Hey.

I'm sorry,
I didn't know you had company.

It's all right,
neither did they.

Is Stuart home?

No, he's at work.

The last juice.
I'm gonna add it to the list.

That's whose handwriting
that is.

I've noticed she's been
over here a lot lately.

You know how you noticed that?

Because you're over
here a lot lately.

She has slept over
every night this week.

Uh, no, no,
she wasn't here Wednesday night.

Yes, she was. You didn't notice
because you were in the hot tub

in the backyard eating Oreos.

That reminds me.



A photon entanglement team.

Yeah, I-I'm actually
the colead.

Yeah, if you like photons
and how they get entangled,

he's your co-guy.

I would enjoy
seeing your lab.

Oh. Yeah, sure.

Uh, if you want,
you can come tomorrow.

I look forward to it.

Well, I think
I'm going to turn in.

Good night, Penny.

Good night, dear.

- Good night.
- Night, Beverly.

Wow, she's being really nice.

Yeah, clearly,
one of us is dying.

Come on, her.

Or you accomplished
something great,

and she's genuinely proud.

Yeah, all right,
you've had enough.


- Hey.
- Oh, it's so good

to see your face.

H-How's the concierge

You guys just get
theater tickets

for each other all day long?

It's going great,

and the company put me
in a nice place in Notting Hill.

Notting Hill? Like the movie?

Uh, "I'm just a boy standing
in front of a girl saying..."

you better bring me home
a T-shirt.

I can't wait for you
to come home.

Actually, that's one
of the reasons I called.

They offered me
a management position.

That's amazing.
T-That's your dream.

It's here in London.


And they want me
to start right away.

What does that mean for us?

Well, how committed are you
to staying in California?

This is where my work is,
this is where my friends are.

But are you happy?

Not for years.
What's your point?

All right, I got to head
out to my drawing class.

Fruit or naked dudes?

Actually, it doesn't matter,
I'm jealous of both.

- I'll see you tonight?
- Yeah.

So she's coming over again, huh?

Yeah, we're gonna
do a movie night.

It's my house. Don't you think
you should ask me?

You're right, I'm sorry.

Howard, would you like
to come to movie night?

Doesn't she have her own place?

Why don't you guys
hang out there?

Oh, she has
a roommate,

and he's kind of creepy.

A-And that's coming from me.

It just feels like Denise
is basically living with us.

You know, maybe you can spend
half the time at her place.

Hey, when I moved in, you
and Bernadette said it was okay

if I brought girls over.

Oh. We were making fun of you.

And this is a high-pulse laser
with a BBO crystal.

It's pretty cool.

It emits photons
in discrete bursts.

Huh. Very impressive.


But what, dear?

Oh, I don't know.

It's just,
usually there's a "but"

followed by something
that makes me feel bad.

Ah, Beverly, there you are.

Sheldon, how nice to see you.

Leonard was just
showing me his new lab.

Oh, yes, experimental physics,

the carpentry
of the science world. Well...

I'm here to rescue you
from the boredom.

Not necessary. This is
really quite interesting.


But nothing.

Oh. Well, if you want to see
something really interesting,

I could show you my work,

which is being talked about
for a Nobel Prize.

Oh, well,
I'd love to see it later,

but right now,
I'm spending time with my son.

Ha! I knew there was
a "but"-- wait, what?


You sure I didn't need
to see Paddington 1?

He's a bear, he talks,
no one knows why.

You're all caught up.

Push play.

May I join you?

Oh. Hey, Mitch,
I didn't see you there.

Really? I've been standing here
the whole time.

Well, sure. Yeah, join us.

Movie's up there.

I've seen it.

It's wonderful.

So she's staying in London?

What does that mean
for your relationship?

It's great.

I can see why she would
say that, but why do you?

Well, we got into this
because we both wanted

to get married, and honestly,
we've been dragging our feet,

and I think this
is the push that we need.

Wait, so you're gonna
ask her to marry you?

Why not?

We like each
other, plus,

we both want to start a family.

Hey, I can work from anywhere,
I'm an astronomer.

They have stars in London,

and I'm not just talking
about Dame Judi Dench.

No one thought you were.

I thought he was.

So you're really gonna move
halfway across the world?

If she says yes,

and if that's what
she wants to do, then yeah.


Yeah, I know.
I'm flying out tomorrow.

I'm gonna surprise her
with a ring.

You already have a ring?

Well, it's the
same one as before.

I thought you gave it to her
the first time you got engaged?

I did, but I took it back.

So, you're an Indian giver?


What? If he's gonna
move to England,

I need to get all
these out now.

Here you go.
Light cream, no sugar.

That's perfect, thank you.

Beverly, I have to
say, it's so nice

seeing the two of you get along.

Oh, I've always
gotten along with Leonard.

Of all of my children,
he's the most docile.

She wrote that
in a birthday card once.

I keep it in my nightstand.

Still, it made him so happy

showing you around
his lab yesterday.


Would you say that
that made him, uh,

much happier than usual,

somewhat happier than usual
or as happy as usual?

Hmm, multiple choice.

Um, I'm-a go with D:
"that's a weird question."

It made me
really happy.

We haven't always had
the easiest relationship.

But, well,
looking back,

I guess you were
just trying to push me

to be the best version
of myself.

So you would say that
my parenting strategies,

although difficult at times,

directly contributed
to your current success?

Well, I may have had a little
something to do with it.

I mean, how often do you wear
your superhero underwear now?

- Only Fridays and my birthday.
- Yeah, that was all me.

That was me.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

I hadn't considered
your influence.

Perhaps tomorrow I could observe
the two of you together?

Uh, "observe"?

What is going on?

I'm just visiting with my son

and doing research
for my book on how various

parenting strategies affected
my children as adults.

This has all
been work to you?

Hanging out with me
and coming to my lab, I...

I thought we were enjoying
each other's company,

but it was just research.

I was enjoying it;
you know I love research.

I can't believe this.

- What? You seem angry.
- Of course I'm angry!

Well, so would you say
that you're somewhat angry,

very angry or extremely angry?

Never mind.

I can see it in your face, dear.

I'm looking over my
text correspondence

with Beverly and I
don't see anything

that would have
given her offense.

Nothing's ambiguous,

I spell everything out.

Including "laugh out loud"
and "what's the fracas?"

I'm sure she's not mad at you.

Well, then why would she rather
spend the day with Leonard?

Because he's her son?

Amy, I just feel like
we're going in circles.

You-- What?

No knock? What's the fracas?

I am so stupid.

I-I actually thought my mom
was genuinely proud of me.

It turns out, she's just using
me as research for her new book.

Oh, what a relief.

I thought Beverly was mad at me.
Thank you, Leonard.

That is a weight
off my shoulders.

If you like her so much you can
have her, 'cause I-I'm done.

Oh, great.
Catch the two of you later.

Sheldon, no.


Well, it's an
emotionally complex issue.

I don't have time
to explain it right now.

Okay, but that excuse
is running out of steam.

Well, Raj is probably
on his way to the airport.


Guess he's finally getting

his big romantic
movie moment.

With a woman who
doesn't care about

big romantic
movie moments.

Well, he'll have
the rest of his life

to explain them to her.

You can't really think
this is a good idea.

Of course I don't.
What am I supposed to do?

Go stop him. Get your
best friend back.

- You're my best friend.
- We don't have time for this!


You know, Leonard
was really upset.

Shouldn't you go talk to him?

And send the message
that he can get what he wants

by throwing a tantrum?
I don't think so.

Beverly, put down your phone
and go apologize to your son.

Oh, so now you're not
talking to me?

When you're finished with
your tantrum, I'd be glad to.

Just let me know
when you're done.

Oh, my God.

When am I gonna stop
trying to win her approval?

E-Every time
I'm around her,

I-I turn into this needy
little eight-year-old boy.

You sound like that now
and she's not even here.

If I could respond

more compassionately
than Sheldon...

and thank you
for making it so easy.

The need for a
mother's approval

is baked into
our biology.

I know that, it's just...

after all these years, you'd
think I would have learned.

Hmm. It's too bad you didn't.

Well, see?


You okay?

Oh, yeah.
My neck's a little stiff.

Maybe because my boyfriend
made me sleep

in a comic book store
last night.

Bet your neck would hurt
if you slept in any store.

Except maybe a mattress store.

I-I'm sorry, but I couldn't
sleep at your place.

Mitch was really
freaking me out.

He was freaking me out, too,

but there has to be
a better solution.

Tonight we'll go
back to my place.

And tomorrow?

With my health being what it is,

I try to live one day at a time.

I don't want to blame you,
but if you'd moved in with me

when I asked you to, we wouldn't
be in this situation.

You're right.

It's my fault.

When I had the chance,
I was scared and...

now that I want to,
you're stuck with Mitch.

So you do want to
move in with me?

More than Galactus
wants to devour worlds.

Well, that's great 'cause
I want to move in with you

more than the Thing
wants to clobber.

More than Hulk
wants to smash?

More than Batman
wants to ignore

the due process of law.

We are so weird.

Raj! Stop!


What are you doing here?


if you're getting
on that plane

because you love
Anu and you...

can't stand the thought
of spending another day

without her...
then go.

If not...

then stay here with...

the people
who love you.

But what if this is my last
chance at marriage and family?

I promise you it's not.

Believe me,
somewhere out there

is a woman who
loves cooking shows

and sweater
vests and...

all the other dumb
things you love.

You really think so?


And I don't
think she's...

waiting for you
in England.

When you propose to
someone in Notting Hill...

it should be to someone who
knows what that movie is.

Are you saying...

you're just a boy...

standing in front
of another boy...

saying you don't
want him to leave?


I love you, buddy.

I love you, too.


No, no, that's not
what's happening here.

Come on.

How'd you get
past security?

I had to buy a ticket.
You owe me 1,300 bucks.

Penny, can I have a moment alone

with my...?
- Yep, bye.

Have you calmed down?

No, I'm not calm.
You really hurt me.

- That wasn't my intention.
- It doesn't matter

what you intended.

What matters is the way
you made me feel.

Actually, the way y-you've
always made me feel.

I see, so...

you're here to tell me
all the ways

that I failed you as a mother.
- Yeah.

And get comfortable,
'cause i-it's a long list.

Is it happening soon?

You know what?
It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter,
you're never gonna change.

If I want you
to accept me for me,

then I guess I'm gonna
have to accept you for you.


I forgive you.

- I didn't ask you to forgive me.
- Too bad.

I forgive you anyway.

And I forgive myself for
taking so long to do it.

Oh, my God, that feels so good.

I must admit, it...

it does feel good.

What does?

You forgiving me.

It means a lot.

Thank you.

Look, I was...
scared to move in,

but that was a mistake
because she is amazing

and I really want
to live with her.


think you'd be willing
to find another place?

Do you love her?

Oh, we haven't
really said that yet.

Yeah, I do.

Don't say it to me,
say it to her.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Now both of you say it to me.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==