The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 12, Episode 24 - Episode #12.24 - full transcript





And last but not least,


This might be the glue talking,

but that was a very pleasurable
139 and a half hours.


What kind of DNA
is this, anyway?

I was trying to design
the genetic code

of an advanced race
of human being.

- One of my rare failures, actually.
- What went wrong?

The balls kept
sticking to my pants.

Let's just let it dry.

- Hi. - Hello.
- Hey, babe.

- Oh, don't slam the...
- Don't slam the...

That was exhilarating.

- You pick up your dresses?
- Yep.

The tailor had to take mine in
and let Penny's out.

Best day of my life.

What about the day
you met me?

I stand by my statement.

Well, thank you guys so much
for the clothes

and the shoes,
the plane tickets.

You've been so generous.

Well, it's important
that all of our friends

get to share
this moment with us.

And then for years to come,
you can tell others

you had a front-row
seat to history.

Although, technically,
I think

your seats are
in the second row.

Do you want to go back to the
apartment and see me try on my dress?

Shouldn't I see it for the first
time at the Nobel ceremony?

It's not a wedding.

Okay. Well, give me
a minute to think

of another reason I
don't want to see it.

How about this... you can
practice your acceptance speech

while I try on the dress.

Ah, great. You can help me
whittle it down to 90 minutes.

Was Amy suspicious when
they had to let your dress out?

No. She was so happy,
she didn't even question it.

Someone's gonna
figure it out.

Why don't we just
tell people?

No, it's too early.
I haven't even wrapped

- my head around it.
- I have.

- My head is wrapped.
- Yeah, well...

if something else
had been wrapped,

we wouldn't be
in this situation.

Excuse me,
but if I recall,

you're the one who went out
drinking with Sheldon,

then came home
and attacked me.

Attacked you?
I think, I said, "Do you wanna?"


- I was helpless.
- Uh-huh.


Do you wanna?

- Well, I can't get more pregnant.
- Mm-hmm.

- We'll see about that.
- Mm-uh.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

- ♪ We built the Wall ♪
- ♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

Season 12 Episode 24
Title: "The Stockholm Syndrome".

Now, Michael,
Mommy and Daddy

are going away
for a couple days,

so if you're gonna say
your first words,

you got to do it now
or wait till we get back.

Somebody just peed

in the big girl potty.

Oh, I'm so proud!

It was her, right?


You still feel good
about leaving them

with Stuart and Denise
for a couple days?

I guess. I just hope we don't
miss Michael's first words.

Or Stuart's last words.

You realize it's been years

since we've got away
just the two of us.

I know. I can't wait.

Fancy hotel room.
The big bed.

Yeah. We're gonna
sleep our asses off.

You really think walking her

is gonna help me meet girls?

Cinnamon is chick bait.

Good. 'Cause I'm not.

Just remember,

you're in charge.

Don't let her pull you.

That seems like
an unnecessary thing to say.

And please, if you have
any problems, any questions,

call me immediately, okay?

She's my baby.

It shouldn't come up,
but just in case:

where could I buy a dog
that looks exactly like her?

Kidding. If she dies,
I'll just tell you.


Oh. Hang on.


"Your majesties, members
of the Nobel Academy...

"when I was a young boy
growing up in East Texas

"I always knew
I'd wind up on this stage,

"and everybody
who said I wouldn't looks

"pretty darn foolish right now.
I'm talking about you,

high school science
teacher Mr. Hubert Givens..."

Sheldon, Sheldon.

Why are you talking so fast?

I'm trying to get my speech
down to 90 minutes.

Nobody's gonna be able to
understand a word you're saying.

Welcome to my life.

I think you need
to do some editing,

like maybe cut out all
that stuff about your childhood.

Are you kidding?

Growing up in the
backwoods of East Texas

is what makes me warm
and relatable.

Well, what about all these pages

calling out everyone
who said you wouldn't succeed?

I told them all
they would rue the day.

How is it gonna make me look
if the day finally comes,

and they're not filled
with rue?

Sheldon, this isn't about ruing.

This is about...

humbly accepting
a great honor.

Amy, we won the Nobel
Prize in Physics.

Humility is for people
who win the goofy Nobels

like Literature,
Economics and Peace.

Please tell me that's
not in your speech.

Oh. I can cut it,
but it's the only joke I have.

All right, bagels down.
Before we head to the airport,

I'd like to go over
a few things.

From the moment we
step off the plane,

each and every one of you
is an ambassador

for Amy and myself.

I told you
these tickets weren't free.

As such, your behavior must
reflect the highest standards.

Uh, Raj. Bagel down.

If my blood sugar drops
and I get bitchy, it's on you.

Amy, why don't you
kick us off.

Thank you.

"The challenging
climate of Scandinavia

"has left its mark on
the Swedish character.

"These dour,
latter-day Vikings

"are slow to warm up
to strangers,

"but if you follow
a few easy steps,

a Swede can be your
friend for life."

"Number one,

"in Sweden, punctuality
is taken very seriously.

"In other words, the
loosey-goosey attitude in Helsinki

will not fly in Stockholm."

"Two, at the beginning

"and end of all business
and social meetings,

"shake hands with
everyone present...

Men, women and children."

Yes, you're all encouraged
to pair off and practice this

once we're in the air
and the seat belt sign is off.

- Yes, Penny?
- Oh.

Do we have to go?

Yes. And a reminder, Penny,
there's free alcohol

in business class...
Don't abuse it.

I'm not gonna drink.

- Why? You pregnant?
- Wha...? No.

No, I just, you know,

I don't like to
drink when I fly.

Please. I've seen you
drink in the shower.

You guys have
showered together?

you're just...


That wasn't a no.

All right,

well, we should head out now
if we're gonna get

to the airport
six hours before boarding.

Excuse me. Hello?
What did we

just learn about the end
of business meetings?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, great.
Whatever. Uh-huh.

Go on.

You first. Go.


Help me! Oh.

- Help me!
- Oh, wait. Come here.

- We got this.
- Yeah, get in, get in, get in.

Hang on.

I've-I've got an idea.

Well done.
You know, you're proving to be

an invaluable part
of my entourage.



- How you doing?
- Fine. Why?

Well, this is the furthest we've
ever been away from the kids.

I was just checking to see
if you're okay.

I'm on my second Jack Reacher.
I'm doing great.

Good. Me, too.

I was just looking
at the map.

Couldn't help
thinking: we're here

and they're there, and
if anything happened,

we'd have to go here to get
all the way back there.

Why are you trying
to freak me out?

This is our vacation.

I thought we should
do things together.

Howard, the kids are okay.

How do you know that?

I just know.
A mother knows.

So what,
now the Force is with you?

Let's see.

This is not the woman
you want to annoy.

Howard. Howard. What?

You see the woman
sitting next to me?

What about her?

Is this her?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Shh! Be cool.

No, that's not her.

How about now?


That's the fourth time
she's been to the bathroom

in the last two hours.


Her breakfast was binding.
I made sure of that.

- So?
- So she clearly has

some sort of
stomach distress.

If it's viral, we're
all susceptible.

She's probably just airsick.

but what if she's not?

What if we get
what she has?

What if we infect
the King of Sweden?

That's how wars start.

All right, that's it, this is
Outbreak and she's the monkey.

Wait. Stop.

Be reasonable.


we need to do something
about your wife.

What's the matter?
She is clearly sick,

and she's gonna take
us all down with her.

She's not sick, Sheldon.

She is,
and I'm gonna catch it,

and it's gonna ruin
the greatest day of my life.

I promise you're not going
to get what she has.

What's going on?

Unclean! Unclean!


He thinks you're sick.


Should we tell him?

Well, if we don't,
he might try

- and jump out of the plane.
- Yeah.

Doesn't answer my question.

Tell me what?

I'm pregnant, Sheldon.

You're right,
I can't catch that.

Good news, Amy.

She's just pregnant.

Are you kidding me?

You just found out that a woman
who has loved and cared for you

for 12 years is pregnant,
and all you can say is

you're relieved that she's
not gonna get you sick?

There's no need
for a recap.

I was there.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't tell anybody.

I'm not anybody.
I'm your best friend.

What's going on?
She's pregnant.

That's fantastic!

Why didn't you tell me?

She didn't tell
me, either.

But I'm her best friend.

We'll get
into that later.

What happened to
"I'm never gonna have kids"?

It was an accident.
I went out drinking with Sheldon.

Oh, my gosh.

We're sister wives?

No. Then I went home
and slept with Leonard.

- While fantasizing about...
- Leonard.

And a little Idris Elba.

- I mean, ah...
- Oh, yeah.

What would you like me to say?

How about congratulating us?

Are congratulations
even in order?

I didn't think
Penny wanted children.

Well, she didn't, now she
does. And just so you know,

we weren't gonna tell anybody

so we wouldn't
upstage your big day.

Oh, please,
you couldn't upstage us.

We won a Nobel Prize.

Any idiot can have a baby.

Hey. What's going on?

Case in point.

You are a selfish jerk.

To hell with you and
your Nobel Prize.

I found her boarding pass
in her purse.

It's totally her.

Hi, Stuart, just checking in.

Seeing if everything's okay.

Oh, yeah, we're having fun.

Me, Halley and Denise
played hide-and-seek all day.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.

I found Denise right away.

Where was Halley hiding?

Uh, the important thing
is she's not there now.

Okay, so, everyone's
happy and healthy?

Well, that depends.

What's that mean?

Uh, how many teeth

did Halley have when you left?

All of them.

Oh, yeah, that's-that's
what I was afraid of.

What happened?

Um, well, all right.

Um, Michael had a little fever
last night.

Michael had a fever?

Do you want to hear about Halley
or not?

What happened, Stuart?

He was running a little fever,
nothing to worry about.

And Halley, bless her heart,

wanted to bring him
his boo-boo bear,

so she climbed
over the safety rail

and... took a little tumble
down the stairs.

She fell down the stairs?!

She rolled down the stairs,

laughing the whole time.

when she got to the bottom,

there was a tooth missing.

Oh, Stuart!

She's fine!
She thought it was funny.

Did you at least save
it for the tooth fairy?

No, we couldn't find it.

We have a theory

about where it is,
but it'll take

six to eight hours to confirm.

Speaking of which,

where do you keep
the spaghetti strainer?

Come on, you didn't
seriously expect him to react

like a normal human being.

No, but still,

a-after all these years,

after all the crap
I've put up with,

you'd think just this once

he'd care
about someone else's feelings.

- Oh, my God!
- What?

Pickled herring.
Who knew how good it was!


Sounds gross.
Looks gross. Smells gross.

It's delicious!

Ooh, that might
be my salted cod!


Sheldon has something
he'd like to say.

I'm sorry I didn't

react appropriately.

You and Penny are bringing
new life into the world.

I can't wait to meet it.

That's a gender-neutral pronoun.

If you're offended, take it
up with the English language.

Oh, good, you're here.

we're thinking
maybe we should go back to L.A.

We just can't

be this far away from the kids.

Bernie's having a meltdown,

- and, frankly, so am I.
- Yeah, well,

- pull it together.
- This is a big day for me.

I wasn't sure what to do.

Now I am.
We're going home.

We'll join you.

Oh, wait.
Do I get a vote in this?

They'll have pickled
herring on the plane.


Well, I hate to say it,

but I think everyone
is being incredibly selfish.

Well, you would be the authority
on the subject.

What does that mean?

no one is happier than I am

to win the Nobel.

But it's not more important
than our friends.

How can you call them friends
when they're abandoning us?

They're abandoning us

because you broke
their hearts.

- I didn't mean to.
- I know!

You never mean to.

That's the only reason
people tolerate you!

Does that include you?

Sometimes, yeah.

Okay, that's it for the fish.

We'll be back
with the meatballs

after a short word
from our sponsor.

Oh, thank you.

Leonard, I can't go home.

- I have to be there for Amy.
- Yeah.

I was thinking that, too.

As angry as
I am at Sheldon,

I still want to see him win
that medal.

It's so strange.

No matter how thoughtless
and selfish he is,

I still love him.

If you think about it,

he has kind of been
our practice kid.

Like when you make

and the first one
comes out a little wonky.

The university prefers "quirky."


Hey. It's Howard.

Oh, us, too.

Wait, what?
They're gonna stay.

The kids are fine.
Bernie's parents took over.


Oh, poor little guy.

Is Michael okay?

Yeah, it's Stuart.

Bernie's dad gave him a hug,
cracked a rib.

Yeah. Okay,
we'll meet you in the lobby.

How long is it gonna take you
to get ready?

Oh, I just need, like,
five or ten minutes.

No. What is wrong with you?!

And in the field of physics,

Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

and Dr. Sheldon Cooper

for their discovery
of super-asymmetry.

Just to be clear,
this isn't a date.

Yeah, I know.

Then why are you
holding my hand?

Thank you, your majesties.

Thank you
to the Nobel Committee.

We are deeply honored.

I would just like
to take this moment

to say to all the young girls
out there

who dream about science
as a profession:

go for it.

It is the greatest job

in the world.

And if anybody tells you
you can't, don't listen.

And now,

speaking of not listening,

my husband,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.


What? Did you finish? Great job.

Thank you, Dr. Fowler.

I have a very long

and somewhat self-centered
speech here.

But I'd like to set it aside.

- Yeah!
- Way to go!

Because this honor
doesn't just belong to me.

I wouldn't be up here
if it weren't

for some very important people
in my life.

Beginning with my mother,
father, meemaw,

brother and sister.

And my other family,

who I'm so happy
to have here with us.

Is that Buffy the
Vampire Slayer?

I was under a misapprehension

that my accomplishments
were mine alone.

Nothing could be further
from the truth.

I have been

encouraged, sustained,

inspired and tolerated

not only by my wife,

but by the greatest group
of friends anyone ever had.

I'd like to ask them to stand.

Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.

Dr. Bernadette
Rostenkowski Wolowitz.

Astronaut Howard Wolowitz.

And my two dearest friends
in the world,

Penny Hofstadter...

...and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.

I was there the moment
Leonard and Penny met.

He said to me that their babies
would be smart and beautiful.

And now that they're expecting,

I have no doubt that
that will be the case.

Thanks, Sheldon. I-I haven't
told my parents yet, but thanks.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Don't tell anyone
that last thing.

That's a secret.

Howard, Bernadette,

Raj, Penny, Leonard,

I apologize if I haven't
been the friend you deserve.

But I want you to know

in my way,

I love you all.

And I love you.

Thank you.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly
14 billion years ago ♪

♪ Expansion started... Wait ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built a Wall,
we built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History ♪

♪ Unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang. ♪

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Sync corrections by srjanapala