Pørni (2021–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
It's great that you could move in
before Christmas.
That was a must.
It has a semi-open floor plan
between the kitchen and living room.
That's Sigrid's room.
She got the biggest one.
I've reserved
a tiny closet for Hanna
in case she turns out to be
a female incel.
-That's so lovely.
-It's nice.
It looks great.
I'd love to drink wine
on that terrace.
Yeah.
I think it's bold of Ole Johan
to sell the house
and move in with Stephen.
He's not exactly young.
No, but he's having
a delayed teenage period.
But he did pay
for most of that house.
I just really loved the old house.
Would you like some juice?
I just want to hang on
until after New Year,
so I won't ruin Christmas
for the whole family
for the rest of their lives.
Don't you think Anne
was a little inconsiderate
when she insisted on the fatal drive
the day before Christmas Eve?
No, I don't.
But if you want to be considerate,
you can wait till after Christmas
or the first week of January,
which is gray and dull anyway.
What you said about calling her...
You've stopped doing that, right?
No, I call Anne from time to time.
I've kept the phone subscription.
She would have hated that, Pørni.
She thought you called her
too often when she was alive.
-Did she say that?
-But...
What are you doing for Christmas?
I guess you're going away?
Don't you know how conservative
I am about Christmas?
We're having lamb ribs.
Without Hanna, of course.
Other than that, it's the same
procedure as every year.
Except that it won't be the same,
since Anne won't be there.
No, but as normal as possible.
I'm getting really tired, honey.
I'll go.
-Should I blow out the candle?
-Yes, please.
No point dying in a fire
when you have stage four cancer.
Okay.
See you. Okay?
Hanna. I think we should go.
Bye, Emma.
SUCK IT UP
I have to be allowed to cry.
Grethe is like an extra mom for me,
and I'm grieving in advance
since I'm going away soon.
You should be strong for Emma.
She's losing her mom.
So it's wrong
that she should console you.
Grethe has always supported me.
She's never been judgmental.
Let's not argue, okay?
Have you packed for Argentina?
It's winter there, too.
Don't change the subject.
I have packed.
-I just... Hi.
-Hi, Pørni.
Last time I asked, you didn't have
birth control or insurance.
I've packed,
I have travel insurance,
and I'm talking to three guys
from Buenos Aires on Tinder.
On Tinder in Buenos Aires?
Yeah. It's really practical.
Augusto, 32, wants to meet me there
and show me around.
He seems really cool.
He has a face tattoo.
If he has face tattoos,
he has probably been in prison.
You're so prejudiced. Not only
ex-convicts have face tattoos.
-Post Malone has a face tattoo.
-So Augusto, 32, is a pop star?
Maybe. I don't have an overview
of the culture life in Argentina.
And you shouldn't judge people
who have been in prison.
Let's eat porridge
and light the Advent candle, okay?
-I feel bad about leaving Emma.
-Grethe wants you to go.
I know, but it feels awful.
I think I'll go for a walk.
Not now. Grandpa
and Stephen are coming.
-I just need some space.
-Make it quick, then.
Sigrid?
Sigrid?
Wow.
Sigrid!
Have you already decorated
for Christmas and made porridge?
Hi. I figured
you have a lot on your mind,
so I wanted to help you
with the porridge.
You look nice. What's up?
-What do you mean?
-Did you get new clothes?
Yeah. I have a new style.
I threw away my old clothes
and bought new ones.
-Where did you get the money?
-I sold nude pictures on OnlyFans.
Excuse me?
I used the credit card
you keep in the drawer, of course.
-That card is for emergencies.
-It was a clothing emergency.
That's a breach of trust. Honestly.
I should be able to trust that
you don't use the card for clothes.
Okay. Sorry.
I guess I can pay you back.
But I'm an independent person
in development,
and this is a lot more me.
Can you let Grandpa in?
I have to make a phone call.
- This is Finn Øye...
-Goddamn fucking shit!
Hi there. I just got an invoice
that I don't understand
for settlement of the house sale
and lost earnings
for 150,000 kroner.
Could we talk about that?
It must have been sent wrong. Bye.
Are you coming?
Grandpa and Stephen are here,
and Hanna is slut-shaming my skirt.
I want a prosthetic knee too.
It sounds like staying in a hotel.
I wouldn't want knee surgery
to spend two weeks at Godthaab.
You get four meals a day,
but it's no hotel.
-Hi.
-Elisabeth sends her regards.
-We talked for an hour yesterday.
-She sent me flowers at Godthaab.
Have you met Grandpa's sister?
She's so cool.
So I've heard. We've talked about
going to Nice to visit her.
You really should.
She has lived the way
I want to live.
Her French husband was loaded,
and she inherited everything.
I feel sorry for her right now.
Her daughter and the family
are spending Christmas in Thailand.
I invited her
to come celebrate with us.
-But I won't be here.
-We can meet her before Christmas.
She'll stay here for several weeks.
She's booked a room at Continental.
That was a nice idea, honey.
But Stephen and I are staying
with his parents in Bømlo.
When did you decide that?
We decided on it yesterday,
but we have talked about doing
something different
for the first Christmas
without Anne.
And it's nice
that Elisabeth will be in Oslo.
Let's have a pre-Christmas meet-up
at Continental with Elisabeth.
The weekend when Leo
and Charlie are in town.
That will be just as nice.
-Can I get a rat for Christmas?
-No!
-I would like some raisins.
-I'm going to taste it.
This is good porridge.
-Am I going to need knee surgery?
-Yes.
This family has weak knees.
But we're clever.
Let's hope you have Finn's
knee genes and my intelligence.
Weak knees and smugness. What about
my and Mom's intelligence?
Hey, honey...
It's weird that you don't want to
spend Christmas with Sigrid and Leo.
This Christmas
will be hard for me too,
but I don't know if I can bear
more than my own grief.
Okay.
Okay. Remember that Christmas
is a time for reconciliation.
Should we light the Advent candle?
We light it for joy.
-It will shine alone...
-No, no, no. One, two, three.
One candle we will light tonight
We're lighting it for joy
It stands and shines all on its own
For all of us who are here
-Is that how it goes?
-That's the way we do it.
Right. That was nice.
This takes place in the evenings,
and the first meeting is today.
Since the theme is
trauma-sensitive approaches,
I think it's right up your alley.
I would love to be in the committee.
Who else is in it?
Eron from Youth Psychiatry,
someone from Redd Barna
that I can't remember the name of,
and Bjørnar Berg Hansen,
but things are okay between you?
-That's what Yngvar said.
-Sure.
That's all been sorted.
Yngvar loves to gossip,
but we worked together
on the hot-dog bun case.
Right. That's good.
And then there's Kenneth Larsen,
the head of the committee,
from the crime squad.
I've heard about him.
Kåre speaks warmly of him.
Excuse me.
Sorry. I'm in.
Yngvar told me you've
recently moved. Is it nice?
It's really nice.
How is Yngvar doing?
He's fine, but he's on sick leave
at least until the summer.
Let me know if you need
more days off around Christmas.
Yngvar told me what happened
to your sister last year.
It's important for me to show
that I take good care of you. Right?
Sure, but I don't need
any more days off.
I enjoy working, regardless of
life circumstances and time of year.
That's noted. The first meeting
is tonight at seven.
Okay.
Thank you.
Did you call Nahid?
Yeah. Her mother said
I can stay there a few days.
-That's great.
-Thanks.
I'll ask her parents
if you can stay there longer
if your grandma
will be here a while.
What will happen to me
if Grandma dies?
-Will I stay in a juvenile home?
-We will try to avoid that.
I know someone
who was stabbed there.
Hi, Anna. She's sleeping right now,
but you can go in.
Right.
You had a stroke,
but you're in the hospital now.
You're going to get well.
I'll stay with Nahid
in the meantime.
Don't worry about that.
She's in my hip-hop dance class.
And I finished decorating the tree.
And I put up the Christmas sheaf.
Don't worry about the mess.
I've cleaned up everything.
And I'll visit you tomorrow
after school.
Get well, please.
-Goodbye.
-Bye.
If the grandmother dies,
she has no one left.
Her mom died of an OD.
Her dad's a junkie. No other family.
If the worst comes to pass,
we'll find an emergency shelter.
She's not going to a juvenile home.
I can do the paperwork tonight
after the gym.
I have a lot more energy
after Marianne moved out.
-You're still not sad?
-No, just relieved.
I have lots of energy.
I want to be social all the time.
Maybe I should join a choir.
Does your choir need male voices?
What are you doing
on New Year's Eve?
Do you want to celebrate
New Year with me?
No, I'm just making small-talk.
I've gotten better at that too.
Marianne just drained all my energy.
She made me small and quiet.
Yeah. You're not that now, at least.
New Year's Eve... Fuck.
That's happening, too.
Are you kidding?
What sort of decay is this?
I'm worried about leaving Sigrid
if you're going to feed her noodles.
That's parental neglect.
You could make dinner instead of
acting like a nutritionist.
Mom? I've made PowerPoint
of what I want for Christmas.
Not now.
I'm going to a meeting.
Bufdir has formed
a committee that I will be in.
This is what I want most.
A national dress from Hedmark.
That's where Dad's dad is from.
It only costs 38,500 kroner.
Of course you're getting that
for Christmas.
What do you want that costs
38,500 kroner, Hanna?
I would like to get a hearing
ASAP in the new year,
so let's divide up some subjects.
Trond and Eron can take
over-activation of survival systems
and the dysregulated child.
Bjørnar, Pernille, and I will take
regulation support and trauma
in adapted questioning
and discussions.
You can call her Pørni.
Nobody says Pernille.
Pørni? What kind of name is that?
Sorry. I have to keep it on
in case of birth.
Of course.
You have to be there for that.
-Is it your first?
-No, not really.
It's a little complicated, actually.
Let's end the meeting there.
The trains aren't running today.
I'll send you a summary
of the division of work
and invitations to the next meeting.
We still have time before Christmas.
-Yes, we do.
-Good night.
Thanks for a nice meeting.
-Do you want a ride?
-Yes, please.
Hi, Nina.
I'll call you Pernille
because I respect women.
I'll send you my number.
No offense, Bjørnar, but I think
Pernille and I will finalize this.
Okay. I want to contribute
once I'm done with the birth,
and it's a little complicated.
I hear you. "It's complicated."
That's my relationship status
on Face.
Just as a joke. I have a girlfriend.
"One time, I managed
to squeeze information
out of a cheese
I found in the fridge.
I didn't give up until it had told
me everything I needed to know.
I squeezed out the secret ingredient
in Jarlsberg."
And last, but not least...
"I'll call you Pernille
because I respect women."
That's a good parody.
He's a typical
macho crime squad guy.
But he's really good, according
to Kåre, and I trust him.
Absolutely.
Look at us.
Just like in the old days.
Sitting in the car,
shooting the breeze.
Are you okay?
Yeah. More or less.
Therese is overdue,
which makes her hysterical.
And she's back together
with Gerhard.
They broke up
because they couldn't have children.
-Really?
-And now, they're getting a child.
So there you go.
Thank you. Problem solved.
But I feel like
an unwilling sperm donor.
In addition,
I'm fighting with May-Liss.
Oh? Why?
She wants to move
to Trondheim with the twins.
And I can't move there
because of my job and the baby.
She can't do that
without your consent.
No, I know that. It's just...
I don't want to fight with her.
She's not exactly conflict-averse.
Would you like me to come in,
so we can talk some more?
That would be nice, but I can't.
My mom has come down from Tromsø
to watch the twins for the birth.
Give me a call
once she's given birth.
I'll let you know
as soon as she's given birth.
-You're the first person I'll call.
-Great.
-Bye.
-Okay. Bye.
WINTER WONDERLAND
If you hadn't retired,
you could have worked
with younger artists like Beyoncé.
Don't be silly.
She knew Miles Davis.
Beyoncé? Isn't that very 2016?
Yes, it is.
But what I said about
President Mitterrand was just a lie.
I don't think
he was interested in jazz.
Why are you going to Buenos Aires
right before Christmas?
The family's not cool enough
for you?
I have only celebrated at home,
so I thought it would be exciting
with "Feliz Navidad."
Oh, well.
But I'm looking forward
to celebrating with you.
Maybe I should read
from The Little Match Girl ?
H.C. Andersen? Mom used to do that
on Christmas Eve.
-I don't think we...
-Dad's going to Bømlo with Stephen.
But we'll be a great gang,
and I thought we could invite
your grandparents too.
We're going to celebrate in Granvin.
Hasn't Dad told you?
The band is coming there
on Christmas Day.
We're going to rehearse there
before the concert.
Okay. Then it'll just be Sigrid
and me and you, Elisabeth.
I think I'm celebrating
with Dad and Iben.
That's what we've talked about.
We'll figure it out, but I'll make
the best lamb ribs in the world.
Hey... We have to get going.
I have an appointment
with a physiotherapist.
I'm sorry. But hey, Elisabeth...
-Au revoir.
-Au revoir.
It was so nice to meet you, Stephen.
Nice to meet you.
-Bye, Dad.
-Goodbye, you brats.
-Goodbye.
-Bye.
Won't you miss your own
grandchildren on Christmas Eve?
No, they're monsters.
No. No, they're not, but they're
spending Christmas in Thailand.
I haven't spent Christmas in Norway
in ages, so this will be great.
Nice to see Ole Johan
with a boyfriend.
Being a faggot actually suits him.
"Faggot"?
Yeah. The waiters are so slow.
I'll pay on the way out.
-What does "faggot" mean?
-That's totally not okay to say.
But what does it mean?
I'll call back
as soon as possible. Bye!
Hi. This is the last time
I'll call you.
Grethe says it's unhealthy.
You always get the truth from kids,
drunks, and the terminally ill.
I'll be alone
with Elisabeth on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to have a normal Christmas,
but I was the only one.
I'm pissed off at Dad.
He just runs away
on your one-year anniversary.
But I won't bother you with that.
Okay, I'm hanging up
for the last time.
Love you.
I'll miss you this Christmas. Bye.
Can we listen
to the Bjørn Eidsvåg song
that the priest
didn't want in the funeral?
Right now? Here?
It was Grandma's favorite song.
Bjørn Eidsvåg has many nice songs.
What about "Eg ser"?
Isn't that really clichéd?
You know what?
I'll have a talk with the priest.
If that was her favorite song,
you should be allowed
to play "Floden" in the funeral.
You don't have to carry
all this on your own.
-I can help you, Anna.
-Stop it, you fucking bitch.
I'm not four years old.
I'm not cute enough
that anyone will want me!
I'm ugly and get acne
and stink when I'm on my period,
so fuck my life!
And you'll report that I'm unstable,
so no one will want me!
I'm not going to report anything.
You've just lost your grandmother.
I don't want to become
a whore like Mom.
You won't. Okay?
Don't worry about
a place to stay or a job.
I want to celebrate Christmas,
and Nahid's family is nice,
but they don't even have
Advent candles!
Come here.
We'll figure this out.
Let's just do one thing at a time.
We'll begin
by carrying your bags inside. Okay?
I'm not going to miss salmon
in Argentina.
We eat it three times a week.
Maybe you will,
after eating steaks for weeks.
You shouldn't buy farm salmon.
That industry is corrupt.
I'm not sure that's what this is.
It came in an aluminum pan.
You're such an unconscious consumer.
Thanks for dinner. I'm going
to buy some jeans for the trip.
You're worse than Mom.
Jeans are terrible for the climate.
Salmon and you are what
I'll miss the least, Sigrid.
She doesn't mean that.
She loves you.
I know. Can I color my hair black?
Our family is light-haired,
so it might not look good on you.
That's such a bitchy thing to say.
Everything can look good
on anyone.
That's the second time someone's
called me a bitch this week.
Maybe there's something in it.
Thanks for loading the dishwasher.
Michaela's mom is calling.
Probably to schedule the swimming.
Hi there. How are you?
-Hi. Are you okay?
-Why?
Michaela's mother called and said
you don't want to go swimming.
Are you on your period?
-Sorry. It's none of my business.
-No, Pørni.
-On myself, you mean?
-On me.
-Wouldn't that be weird?
-Why? You're my mom.
Copy that.
Why are you looking so pained?
I'm just touched.
Sigrid asked me to insert
a tampon for her.
To demonstrate it on her.
Isn't that adorable?
No, that's the opposite of adorable.
It's the grossest thing I've heard.
And if you get touched by that,
you're so sick
that if we ever become normal,
it's in spite of you.
Buenos noches , you sick fuck.
-Hello?
- Hi. Kenneth Larsen here.
I thought it was better
to call than to text.
-Hi!
- Hello.
I was told that Berg Hansen
had a baby today.
Yes, I heard that he had a girl.
You and I will have to
finalize the work.
Right. Maybe we should include
something about the Brøset model...
Bye, baby! See you on Saturday!
I had to say goodbye to Jeanette.
She has a kickboxing class.
That's cool.
So your wife is a kickboxer?
We're not married. She got third
place in the championship last year.
Kalle! Can you please
load the dishwasher?
Sorry. My 14-year-old
is making a mess.
-That's fine.
- You have my number.
And I live right down the road
from you,
so we can meet up to get this done.
I can just come over.
What the fuck, Kalle!
Don't put the Victorinox knives
in the dishwasher!
Sorry. I'll have to
lobotomize my son.
I have a girl that
also needs lobotomy.
She's going away for a whole year.
But I have your number,
and we'll keep in touch.
- Great. Goodbye.
-Bye.
I don't have to take
any vaccines before I go?
You've checked that, right?
I'm stressed out.
No, you don't need any vaccines.
Just a lobotomy.
What? You haven't mentioned that.
I'm telling you now.
I'll book an appointment tomorrow.
Okay. Thanks.
-You're welcome.
-It won't take long, will it?
It feels so wrong to leave you now.
It's not. You're going. Period.
It helps to know you'll live
in a Friends apartment in Bergen.
Have a great time, you moron.
-And don't get mugged.
-I'll try.
We can walk you inside.
No, that's fine. Bye, Sig.
Don't go mental while I'm away.
I won't be able to help you.
You don't help me much anyway.
Sure I do. "Family first"
is what I always say.
-Not to me.
-You've packed wool, right?
Don't be stupid. I'm going to lie
on the beach in a G-string.
I've told you that Argentina
has the same seasons we do.
Be good to Pørni,
even though she says stupid things.
Take this, at least.
-That's Anne's.
-Yeah.
It's just a wool cardigan.
Are you sure
you'll manage Christmas without me?
Sure. I'll manage
perfectly well without you.
There's a Christmas present
in the bottom of the backpack.
Take care of yourself.
This is going to be an adventure.
I love you. Okay?
Don't cry, Pørni.
I hate it when you cry.
Be a strong,
independent woman, like me.
You can call me Mom, even though
I'm strong and independent.
Bye, honey! Have fun!
DON'T FUCK IT UP!
WE LOVE YOU!
Hey... Stop it. Sorry.
Stop it.
FUCK OFF!!!
I'm going away for a year,
and my family's mentally challenged.
Hi, honey. Did you forget something?
No, I just wanted to say
that I'm going to miss you, Mom.
- Bye.
-Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye.
-Bye.
before Christmas.
That was a must.
It has a semi-open floor plan
between the kitchen and living room.
That's Sigrid's room.
She got the biggest one.
I've reserved
a tiny closet for Hanna
in case she turns out to be
a female incel.
-That's so lovely.
-It's nice.
It looks great.
I'd love to drink wine
on that terrace.
Yeah.
I think it's bold of Ole Johan
to sell the house
and move in with Stephen.
He's not exactly young.
No, but he's having
a delayed teenage period.
But he did pay
for most of that house.
I just really loved the old house.
Would you like some juice?
I just want to hang on
until after New Year,
so I won't ruin Christmas
for the whole family
for the rest of their lives.
Don't you think Anne
was a little inconsiderate
when she insisted on the fatal drive
the day before Christmas Eve?
No, I don't.
But if you want to be considerate,
you can wait till after Christmas
or the first week of January,
which is gray and dull anyway.
What you said about calling her...
You've stopped doing that, right?
No, I call Anne from time to time.
I've kept the phone subscription.
She would have hated that, Pørni.
She thought you called her
too often when she was alive.
-Did she say that?
-But...
What are you doing for Christmas?
I guess you're going away?
Don't you know how conservative
I am about Christmas?
We're having lamb ribs.
Without Hanna, of course.
Other than that, it's the same
procedure as every year.
Except that it won't be the same,
since Anne won't be there.
No, but as normal as possible.
I'm getting really tired, honey.
I'll go.
-Should I blow out the candle?
-Yes, please.
No point dying in a fire
when you have stage four cancer.
Okay.
See you. Okay?
Hanna. I think we should go.
Bye, Emma.
SUCK IT UP
I have to be allowed to cry.
Grethe is like an extra mom for me,
and I'm grieving in advance
since I'm going away soon.
You should be strong for Emma.
She's losing her mom.
So it's wrong
that she should console you.
Grethe has always supported me.
She's never been judgmental.
Let's not argue, okay?
Have you packed for Argentina?
It's winter there, too.
Don't change the subject.
I have packed.
-I just... Hi.
-Hi, Pørni.
Last time I asked, you didn't have
birth control or insurance.
I've packed,
I have travel insurance,
and I'm talking to three guys
from Buenos Aires on Tinder.
On Tinder in Buenos Aires?
Yeah. It's really practical.
Augusto, 32, wants to meet me there
and show me around.
He seems really cool.
He has a face tattoo.
If he has face tattoos,
he has probably been in prison.
You're so prejudiced. Not only
ex-convicts have face tattoos.
-Post Malone has a face tattoo.
-So Augusto, 32, is a pop star?
Maybe. I don't have an overview
of the culture life in Argentina.
And you shouldn't judge people
who have been in prison.
Let's eat porridge
and light the Advent candle, okay?
-I feel bad about leaving Emma.
-Grethe wants you to go.
I know, but it feels awful.
I think I'll go for a walk.
Not now. Grandpa
and Stephen are coming.
-I just need some space.
-Make it quick, then.
Sigrid?
Sigrid?
Wow.
Sigrid!
Have you already decorated
for Christmas and made porridge?
Hi. I figured
you have a lot on your mind,
so I wanted to help you
with the porridge.
You look nice. What's up?
-What do you mean?
-Did you get new clothes?
Yeah. I have a new style.
I threw away my old clothes
and bought new ones.
-Where did you get the money?
-I sold nude pictures on OnlyFans.
Excuse me?
I used the credit card
you keep in the drawer, of course.
-That card is for emergencies.
-It was a clothing emergency.
That's a breach of trust. Honestly.
I should be able to trust that
you don't use the card for clothes.
Okay. Sorry.
I guess I can pay you back.
But I'm an independent person
in development,
and this is a lot more me.
Can you let Grandpa in?
I have to make a phone call.
- This is Finn Øye...
-Goddamn fucking shit!
Hi there. I just got an invoice
that I don't understand
for settlement of the house sale
and lost earnings
for 150,000 kroner.
Could we talk about that?
It must have been sent wrong. Bye.
Are you coming?
Grandpa and Stephen are here,
and Hanna is slut-shaming my skirt.
I want a prosthetic knee too.
It sounds like staying in a hotel.
I wouldn't want knee surgery
to spend two weeks at Godthaab.
You get four meals a day,
but it's no hotel.
-Hi.
-Elisabeth sends her regards.
-We talked for an hour yesterday.
-She sent me flowers at Godthaab.
Have you met Grandpa's sister?
She's so cool.
So I've heard. We've talked about
going to Nice to visit her.
You really should.
She has lived the way
I want to live.
Her French husband was loaded,
and she inherited everything.
I feel sorry for her right now.
Her daughter and the family
are spending Christmas in Thailand.
I invited her
to come celebrate with us.
-But I won't be here.
-We can meet her before Christmas.
She'll stay here for several weeks.
She's booked a room at Continental.
That was a nice idea, honey.
But Stephen and I are staying
with his parents in Bømlo.
When did you decide that?
We decided on it yesterday,
but we have talked about doing
something different
for the first Christmas
without Anne.
And it's nice
that Elisabeth will be in Oslo.
Let's have a pre-Christmas meet-up
at Continental with Elisabeth.
The weekend when Leo
and Charlie are in town.
That will be just as nice.
-Can I get a rat for Christmas?
-No!
-I would like some raisins.
-I'm going to taste it.
This is good porridge.
-Am I going to need knee surgery?
-Yes.
This family has weak knees.
But we're clever.
Let's hope you have Finn's
knee genes and my intelligence.
Weak knees and smugness. What about
my and Mom's intelligence?
Hey, honey...
It's weird that you don't want to
spend Christmas with Sigrid and Leo.
This Christmas
will be hard for me too,
but I don't know if I can bear
more than my own grief.
Okay.
Okay. Remember that Christmas
is a time for reconciliation.
Should we light the Advent candle?
We light it for joy.
-It will shine alone...
-No, no, no. One, two, three.
One candle we will light tonight
We're lighting it for joy
It stands and shines all on its own
For all of us who are here
-Is that how it goes?
-That's the way we do it.
Right. That was nice.
This takes place in the evenings,
and the first meeting is today.
Since the theme is
trauma-sensitive approaches,
I think it's right up your alley.
I would love to be in the committee.
Who else is in it?
Eron from Youth Psychiatry,
someone from Redd Barna
that I can't remember the name of,
and Bjørnar Berg Hansen,
but things are okay between you?
-That's what Yngvar said.
-Sure.
That's all been sorted.
Yngvar loves to gossip,
but we worked together
on the hot-dog bun case.
Right. That's good.
And then there's Kenneth Larsen,
the head of the committee,
from the crime squad.
I've heard about him.
Kåre speaks warmly of him.
Excuse me.
Sorry. I'm in.
Yngvar told me you've
recently moved. Is it nice?
It's really nice.
How is Yngvar doing?
He's fine, but he's on sick leave
at least until the summer.
Let me know if you need
more days off around Christmas.
Yngvar told me what happened
to your sister last year.
It's important for me to show
that I take good care of you. Right?
Sure, but I don't need
any more days off.
I enjoy working, regardless of
life circumstances and time of year.
That's noted. The first meeting
is tonight at seven.
Okay.
Thank you.
Did you call Nahid?
Yeah. Her mother said
I can stay there a few days.
-That's great.
-Thanks.
I'll ask her parents
if you can stay there longer
if your grandma
will be here a while.
What will happen to me
if Grandma dies?
-Will I stay in a juvenile home?
-We will try to avoid that.
I know someone
who was stabbed there.
Hi, Anna. She's sleeping right now,
but you can go in.
Right.
You had a stroke,
but you're in the hospital now.
You're going to get well.
I'll stay with Nahid
in the meantime.
Don't worry about that.
She's in my hip-hop dance class.
And I finished decorating the tree.
And I put up the Christmas sheaf.
Don't worry about the mess.
I've cleaned up everything.
And I'll visit you tomorrow
after school.
Get well, please.
-Goodbye.
-Bye.
If the grandmother dies,
she has no one left.
Her mom died of an OD.
Her dad's a junkie. No other family.
If the worst comes to pass,
we'll find an emergency shelter.
She's not going to a juvenile home.
I can do the paperwork tonight
after the gym.
I have a lot more energy
after Marianne moved out.
-You're still not sad?
-No, just relieved.
I have lots of energy.
I want to be social all the time.
Maybe I should join a choir.
Does your choir need male voices?
What are you doing
on New Year's Eve?
Do you want to celebrate
New Year with me?
No, I'm just making small-talk.
I've gotten better at that too.
Marianne just drained all my energy.
She made me small and quiet.
Yeah. You're not that now, at least.
New Year's Eve... Fuck.
That's happening, too.
Are you kidding?
What sort of decay is this?
I'm worried about leaving Sigrid
if you're going to feed her noodles.
That's parental neglect.
You could make dinner instead of
acting like a nutritionist.
Mom? I've made PowerPoint
of what I want for Christmas.
Not now.
I'm going to a meeting.
Bufdir has formed
a committee that I will be in.
This is what I want most.
A national dress from Hedmark.
That's where Dad's dad is from.
It only costs 38,500 kroner.
Of course you're getting that
for Christmas.
What do you want that costs
38,500 kroner, Hanna?
I would like to get a hearing
ASAP in the new year,
so let's divide up some subjects.
Trond and Eron can take
over-activation of survival systems
and the dysregulated child.
Bjørnar, Pernille, and I will take
regulation support and trauma
in adapted questioning
and discussions.
You can call her Pørni.
Nobody says Pernille.
Pørni? What kind of name is that?
Sorry. I have to keep it on
in case of birth.
Of course.
You have to be there for that.
-Is it your first?
-No, not really.
It's a little complicated, actually.
Let's end the meeting there.
The trains aren't running today.
I'll send you a summary
of the division of work
and invitations to the next meeting.
We still have time before Christmas.
-Yes, we do.
-Good night.
Thanks for a nice meeting.
-Do you want a ride?
-Yes, please.
Hi, Nina.
I'll call you Pernille
because I respect women.
I'll send you my number.
No offense, Bjørnar, but I think
Pernille and I will finalize this.
Okay. I want to contribute
once I'm done with the birth,
and it's a little complicated.
I hear you. "It's complicated."
That's my relationship status
on Face.
Just as a joke. I have a girlfriend.
"One time, I managed
to squeeze information
out of a cheese
I found in the fridge.
I didn't give up until it had told
me everything I needed to know.
I squeezed out the secret ingredient
in Jarlsberg."
And last, but not least...
"I'll call you Pernille
because I respect women."
That's a good parody.
He's a typical
macho crime squad guy.
But he's really good, according
to Kåre, and I trust him.
Absolutely.
Look at us.
Just like in the old days.
Sitting in the car,
shooting the breeze.
Are you okay?
Yeah. More or less.
Therese is overdue,
which makes her hysterical.
And she's back together
with Gerhard.
They broke up
because they couldn't have children.
-Really?
-And now, they're getting a child.
So there you go.
Thank you. Problem solved.
But I feel like
an unwilling sperm donor.
In addition,
I'm fighting with May-Liss.
Oh? Why?
She wants to move
to Trondheim with the twins.
And I can't move there
because of my job and the baby.
She can't do that
without your consent.
No, I know that. It's just...
I don't want to fight with her.
She's not exactly conflict-averse.
Would you like me to come in,
so we can talk some more?
That would be nice, but I can't.
My mom has come down from Tromsø
to watch the twins for the birth.
Give me a call
once she's given birth.
I'll let you know
as soon as she's given birth.
-You're the first person I'll call.
-Great.
-Bye.
-Okay. Bye.
WINTER WONDERLAND
If you hadn't retired,
you could have worked
with younger artists like Beyoncé.
Don't be silly.
She knew Miles Davis.
Beyoncé? Isn't that very 2016?
Yes, it is.
But what I said about
President Mitterrand was just a lie.
I don't think
he was interested in jazz.
Why are you going to Buenos Aires
right before Christmas?
The family's not cool enough
for you?
I have only celebrated at home,
so I thought it would be exciting
with "Feliz Navidad."
Oh, well.
But I'm looking forward
to celebrating with you.
Maybe I should read
from The Little Match Girl ?
H.C. Andersen? Mom used to do that
on Christmas Eve.
-I don't think we...
-Dad's going to Bømlo with Stephen.
But we'll be a great gang,
and I thought we could invite
your grandparents too.
We're going to celebrate in Granvin.
Hasn't Dad told you?
The band is coming there
on Christmas Day.
We're going to rehearse there
before the concert.
Okay. Then it'll just be Sigrid
and me and you, Elisabeth.
I think I'm celebrating
with Dad and Iben.
That's what we've talked about.
We'll figure it out, but I'll make
the best lamb ribs in the world.
Hey... We have to get going.
I have an appointment
with a physiotherapist.
I'm sorry. But hey, Elisabeth...
-Au revoir.
-Au revoir.
It was so nice to meet you, Stephen.
Nice to meet you.
-Bye, Dad.
-Goodbye, you brats.
-Goodbye.
-Bye.
Won't you miss your own
grandchildren on Christmas Eve?
No, they're monsters.
No. No, they're not, but they're
spending Christmas in Thailand.
I haven't spent Christmas in Norway
in ages, so this will be great.
Nice to see Ole Johan
with a boyfriend.
Being a faggot actually suits him.
"Faggot"?
Yeah. The waiters are so slow.
I'll pay on the way out.
-What does "faggot" mean?
-That's totally not okay to say.
But what does it mean?
I'll call back
as soon as possible. Bye!
Hi. This is the last time
I'll call you.
Grethe says it's unhealthy.
You always get the truth from kids,
drunks, and the terminally ill.
I'll be alone
with Elisabeth on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to have a normal Christmas,
but I was the only one.
I'm pissed off at Dad.
He just runs away
on your one-year anniversary.
But I won't bother you with that.
Okay, I'm hanging up
for the last time.
Love you.
I'll miss you this Christmas. Bye.
Can we listen
to the Bjørn Eidsvåg song
that the priest
didn't want in the funeral?
Right now? Here?
It was Grandma's favorite song.
Bjørn Eidsvåg has many nice songs.
What about "Eg ser"?
Isn't that really clichéd?
You know what?
I'll have a talk with the priest.
If that was her favorite song,
you should be allowed
to play "Floden" in the funeral.
You don't have to carry
all this on your own.
-I can help you, Anna.
-Stop it, you fucking bitch.
I'm not four years old.
I'm not cute enough
that anyone will want me!
I'm ugly and get acne
and stink when I'm on my period,
so fuck my life!
And you'll report that I'm unstable,
so no one will want me!
I'm not going to report anything.
You've just lost your grandmother.
I don't want to become
a whore like Mom.
You won't. Okay?
Don't worry about
a place to stay or a job.
I want to celebrate Christmas,
and Nahid's family is nice,
but they don't even have
Advent candles!
Come here.
We'll figure this out.
Let's just do one thing at a time.
We'll begin
by carrying your bags inside. Okay?
I'm not going to miss salmon
in Argentina.
We eat it three times a week.
Maybe you will,
after eating steaks for weeks.
You shouldn't buy farm salmon.
That industry is corrupt.
I'm not sure that's what this is.
It came in an aluminum pan.
You're such an unconscious consumer.
Thanks for dinner. I'm going
to buy some jeans for the trip.
You're worse than Mom.
Jeans are terrible for the climate.
Salmon and you are what
I'll miss the least, Sigrid.
She doesn't mean that.
She loves you.
I know. Can I color my hair black?
Our family is light-haired,
so it might not look good on you.
That's such a bitchy thing to say.
Everything can look good
on anyone.
That's the second time someone's
called me a bitch this week.
Maybe there's something in it.
Thanks for loading the dishwasher.
Michaela's mom is calling.
Probably to schedule the swimming.
Hi there. How are you?
-Hi. Are you okay?
-Why?
Michaela's mother called and said
you don't want to go swimming.
Are you on your period?
-Sorry. It's none of my business.
-No, Pørni.
-On myself, you mean?
-On me.
-Wouldn't that be weird?
-Why? You're my mom.
Copy that.
Why are you looking so pained?
I'm just touched.
Sigrid asked me to insert
a tampon for her.
To demonstrate it on her.
Isn't that adorable?
No, that's the opposite of adorable.
It's the grossest thing I've heard.
And if you get touched by that,
you're so sick
that if we ever become normal,
it's in spite of you.
Buenos noches , you sick fuck.
-Hello?
- Hi. Kenneth Larsen here.
I thought it was better
to call than to text.
-Hi!
- Hello.
I was told that Berg Hansen
had a baby today.
Yes, I heard that he had a girl.
You and I will have to
finalize the work.
Right. Maybe we should include
something about the Brøset model...
Bye, baby! See you on Saturday!
I had to say goodbye to Jeanette.
She has a kickboxing class.
That's cool.
So your wife is a kickboxer?
We're not married. She got third
place in the championship last year.
Kalle! Can you please
load the dishwasher?
Sorry. My 14-year-old
is making a mess.
-That's fine.
- You have my number.
And I live right down the road
from you,
so we can meet up to get this done.
I can just come over.
What the fuck, Kalle!
Don't put the Victorinox knives
in the dishwasher!
Sorry. I'll have to
lobotomize my son.
I have a girl that
also needs lobotomy.
She's going away for a whole year.
But I have your number,
and we'll keep in touch.
- Great. Goodbye.
-Bye.
I don't have to take
any vaccines before I go?
You've checked that, right?
I'm stressed out.
No, you don't need any vaccines.
Just a lobotomy.
What? You haven't mentioned that.
I'm telling you now.
I'll book an appointment tomorrow.
Okay. Thanks.
-You're welcome.
-It won't take long, will it?
It feels so wrong to leave you now.
It's not. You're going. Period.
It helps to know you'll live
in a Friends apartment in Bergen.
Have a great time, you moron.
-And don't get mugged.
-I'll try.
We can walk you inside.
No, that's fine. Bye, Sig.
Don't go mental while I'm away.
I won't be able to help you.
You don't help me much anyway.
Sure I do. "Family first"
is what I always say.
-Not to me.
-You've packed wool, right?
Don't be stupid. I'm going to lie
on the beach in a G-string.
I've told you that Argentina
has the same seasons we do.
Be good to Pørni,
even though she says stupid things.
Take this, at least.
-That's Anne's.
-Yeah.
It's just a wool cardigan.
Are you sure
you'll manage Christmas without me?
Sure. I'll manage
perfectly well without you.
There's a Christmas present
in the bottom of the backpack.
Take care of yourself.
This is going to be an adventure.
I love you. Okay?
Don't cry, Pørni.
I hate it when you cry.
Be a strong,
independent woman, like me.
You can call me Mom, even though
I'm strong and independent.
Bye, honey! Have fun!
DON'T FUCK IT UP!
WE LOVE YOU!
Hey... Stop it. Sorry.
Stop it.
FUCK OFF!!!
I'm going away for a year,
and my family's mentally challenged.
Hi, honey. Did you forget something?
No, I just wanted to say
that I'm going to miss you, Mom.
- Bye.
-Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye.
-Bye.